#And it creates interesting contrast to companions who are very wary of the urges of Durge

[nonbinaryeye]

I'd LOVE to hear about ghost of a feeling!!

Thank you for the ask!

I enjoy the most exploring durgetash dynamic before the game events but of course my mind wanders also if their relationship ship could be mended after Durge list their me more and so thus idea came to my mind.

"ghost of a feeling" is working title for resisting Durge x Gortash in which I try to explore what it might feel like trying to resist natural Bhaalspawn urges to Durge especially when even their best efforts are always acknowledged enough by his newest allies.

And then Gortash appears just to tell him that his companions are wrong and Durge doesn't need to change anything about themselves. Which of course Durge can recognise as manipulation but they also need to deal with the overall strange feelings they have from thus chosen of Bane who's trying to create a new alliance between them.

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Little excerpt to share:

The Dark Urge is not stupid he knew the man is trying his best at manipulating him. Nevertheless the knowledge of the reason behind his words does not make them any less true. He is getting tired of the fight. The fight against the dark urges whispering to him and commanding him to kill and slaughter and maim and hurt. And every denial makes them scream even louder the next time. And he is terrified that it will never get easier. So far it seemed to be only getting harder.

And yet he is expected to hold his ground without a stumble and even a little remark or indulgence is scorn upon. His complaints are at best met with pat on his back and reassurance that he is doing the right thing and so it is worthy and he should be proud at himself and so on. In truth he felt nothing of a sort. It offered him no reassurance, the fact that what he is doing is said to be the right thing.

That is the problem others dismiss and refuse to see. Of course he knows what is the ‘right thing’ to do is. But doing it does not feel any better, any more right, than not. On conscious level when he applies logic and reason he of course knew why he is expected to fight this compulsion why he should not take a life of innocent why he needs to have control over even taking life of his enemies… However when he tries to turn to his consciousness, it remains silent; when he seeks directions from his moral compass, he only discovers he appears to have none.

And after all that, this man, Enver Gortash, just says that he should not torture himself. He sees him and for what he is and he does not think he needs to change a thing about himself.