#And I've never said anything and it's been two years and at this point it feels like I'm lying
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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Hey uh
anyone here on Art Fight this year or-
Cuz I'm on there, same name and everything. I'm on Team Vampires.
You can like, add me or whatever...I mean, if you want...
I haven't interacted with anyone on here or even really drawn in a couple months, sweet pulsating spider-christ ...
#I KNOW I KNOW I CAN JUST. DO THE THING. BUT I ALSO CAN'T. YKNOW????#I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY MIND HAS BEEN I DON'T#I'M STILL STRUGGLING WITH HEALTH Y'ALL#and sometimes instead of bouncing back and forth from feeling stable enough to do things and absolute dog shit i just-#-'welp i guess I'll just not do anything! that'll solve all of my problems! I'll get better if i don't do things and just rest and space out#-'WOW I CAN JUST BE ISOLATED AND PATHETIC IN MY ROOM ALL DAY COOL'#like...I EVEN GOT MY PAIN MEDS BACK! AND I QUALIFIED FOR A HIGHER DOSE WHICH IS A MIRACLE BC THIS IS FLORIDA!!#but like. idk.#and it's not like i don't care at all!!! I've missed you guys like fuck!!!! i just feel like I'm so far behind and everyone is on another-#-plane of existence at this point! and the longer it goes the more guilty i feel coming back bc i feel ashamed and lazy...#but i know you guys don't give a shit about at all. and I'm sorry for assuming and being so hard on myself#but also my fandoms are all over the place rn so uh. I'm so sorry LOL#but seriously anyone on art fight?? i really need to get back drawing but it's daunting...#especially since my guess 2 or 3 years were kickass by the last 2 literally no one but my wife interacted with me#one friendly fire from my partner. in two fights. after putting HOURS OF EFFORT THRU CHRONIC PAIN AND ILLNESS into all of those pieces...#i know I didn't draw a fuckton but i just got so discouraged and sad after awhile. and some never even got any attackee comments.#it all felt so damn pointless#but I'm nothing if not a survivor#as Zapp Brannigan once said; 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised'#I'm a hot fuckin mess but even if i barely get any interaction at all again i can at least say i didn't give up-#and put in effort and love like always. no half-assing with art fight unless it's just me and my wife or a friend doin stupid friendly fires#BUT ANYWAY I STILL WANNA FUCK SLASHERS. IF ANYTHING THERE'S STILL THAT. IT'S STILL ME.
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Just remembered I have to go back to school on Tuesday and I'm this close to actually fucking losing it
#ever since I fucked up my college application it feels like everything is just getting worse and worse#we're two months into the school year and I'm already so fucking done#I have no strength nor desire to out any actual effort in#everyone expects it of me. dad will actually fucking kill me if I don't deliver#but I can't#I've been doing this for 12 goddamn years#I was supposed to be done. by all accounts I'm meant to be done#I WAS done!! I have my diploma and everything!!!#I said that I'd never be a high schooler again#and look at me now#all because of one stupid mistake#I have no proof that life would be all sunshine and rainbows if I did get into college#probably wouldn't be#but it would be better than this#anything would be better than this#and even if I make it through this year. I still wouldn't be done. I have to go to university still#and that's another four years at least#and then work until I physically can't anymore...#what's the point? what's the point of anything?? this can't be all there is to life#it can't all be an uphill climb like this. when does it stop? when does it get easier? does it get easier at all?#right now it certainly seems that way#I don't think I'd be able to handle it if is. but I also don't think I have it in me to hang around until I'm proven wrong#what a sad existence huh. 18 years old and already wanting to die. having been wanting that for many years#I'm quite literally only still here because of my dog. I know everyone else will be alright eventually#but I have no idea what will happen to her. no one in my family would be able to take her. I can't just do that to her#she deserves better. even now. I'm an awful pet owner and she would have been better off with someone else#but she's my responsibility now. and as long as she's still breathing.. so will I#it's the least I can do for her. even if staying is unbearable. even if the mere thought of going to school makes me break down#I'm not even pushing on at this point. life is doing all the pushing. I have no idea where I'm headed but idc enough to fight against it#I'm not strong enough to convince myself I actually want to do something with my life. not again. not after last summer
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I think the reader's response to this post is probably going to either be "That's incredibly minor" or "Holy shit YES I'M ALSO PROUD", depending on people's personal experiences with academia, but:
Today I am incredibly proud of one of my students.
In the interests of disguising identities, let's call them Ceri. Ceri is one of my third year undergrads (meaning their final year, for anyone unfamiliar with UK uni systems.) They transferred to us last year, and within two weeks I was giving them the contact info to get to Student Services and get themself screened for ADHD; they have some mental health struggles, but I clocked pretty quickly that they STRUGGLE with procrastination, and punctuality, and attending 9am lectures in particular. Naturally, as is the way of my people, it took them a further four months to remember to go to the screening. Lol. Lmao. Rofl, in fact.
But, they did it eventually! Their screening lit up like a Christmas tree at the ADHD section, and they got a free laptop and optional one week extensions and a study support worker named Claire. This has helped tremendously, and although mental health + until-then-unsupported ADHD meant their academic profile had slid sideways somewhat, with the new tools available and a couple of resits they passed the year and hit this year running.
Until, that is, the last fortnight.
Now, I take them for a Habitat Management module that has two assessments: an academic poster presentation before Christmas, and a site-specific management plan in May. Naturally this means we are at that happy point in the year for the poster presentations. I give out the briefs at the start of the year, so they've had them since October; I've also been periodically checking in with them all for weeks, to make sure they don't have any major burning questions. The poster presentation was to pick a species reintroduction project, pull the habitat feasibility study out of it, and then critique that study; Ceri chose to look at the hen harrier reintroductions proposed for the southern UK. All good.
Which brings us nicely to today! Ceri's presentation is scheduled for 2.30. At 11am-1pm, I am lecturing the first years on Biodiversity, while Ceri is learning about environmental impact assessment with a colleague I shall call Aeron. This means we are separately occupied during those same hours.
Nevertheless, Aeron messages me at about 12.
"I think Ceri needs to see you after your lecture," he writes. "They're panicking, I genuinely think they might cry. I'm worried. Are you free at 1?"
I say I am. At 1, I get lunch and sit in the common area; Ceri comes to see me. To my personal shame, imagine all of the following takes place while I stuff my face with potato.
Now: this part is going to be uncomfortably familiar to anyone who has ever tried higher education with ADHD, especially unmedicated. It certainly was for me. All I can say is, I never had the courage to take the step here that Ceri did.
"I have to confess," they said quietly, and Aeron was right, they were fighting back tears. "My mental health has been so, so bad for the last fortnight. I've left it way, way too late. I don't have anything to present."
"Nothing at all?" I asked.
"I've been researching," they said helplessly. "I found loads on the decline of the hen harrier. But it wasn't until last night that I finally found a habitat feasibility study to critique. Generally... I've been burying my head about it, and it just got later and later. I thought I should come in for Aeron's lecture, and I should at least tell you."
This part is a minor thing, right? But honestly, I remember being in the grip of that particular shame spiral. I never did manage to tell my lecturers to their faces. I just avoided. I honestly can't imagine having the courage it took them to come in and tell me this, rather than just staying home and avoiding me.
"I think..." they said hesitantly, "I know I can submit up to a week late, for a capped mark. I think I need to do that, and apply for extenuating circumstances. But then I'll have both Aeron's assignment and yours due at the same time."
Which meant they would crumble under the pressure and likely struggle to pass both; so me, being as noble and heroic as I unarguably am, stopped eating potato and said, "Let's make that plan B."
(It was good potato. I am a hero.)
So, we made plan A: I moved their timeslot to 4.30, giving them three and a half hours. The shining piece of luck in this whole thing was that this was the crunch time assignment - if it had been Aeron's, they'd have had to try and write a 3000 report in that time. But for me, all they had to write was an academic poster, and those things are light on words by design. We found them a Canva template, and then we quickly sketched out a recommended structure based on the brief: if it's habitat feasibility, look at food availability, nesting site availability, and mortality risks in the target release site. Bullet point each. Bullet point how well the study assessed each. Write a quick intro and conclusion. Take notes as you go, and present the poster itself at 4.30.
"You think I should try?" they asked doubtfully, looking like I'd just asked them to go mano-a-mano with a feral badger.
"If you run out of time, so be it," I said. "But your brain is trying to protect you from a non-existent tiger. That's why you've procrastinated - it's been horrible, and you've been shame spiralling, and your brain is trying to shield you from the negative experience; but it's the wrong type of help for this situation! So while you're sitting there working on it, hating life, every time your brain goes 'This is hopeless, I can't do it', you think right back 'Yes I can, it just sucks.' And you carry on. Good?"
"Good," they said. "I'm going to mainline coffee and hole up in the library. Enjoy your potato."
And then, of course, I had to go and watch the other students' presentations, so that was the end of me being any help at all. I spent all afternoon wondering if they were going to manage it, or if I would be getting a message at 4.25 telling me they'd failed, and would have to submit late and hope for an EC.
And Tumblrs
Tumblrs
Let me FUCKING tell you
They turned up at 4.15, fifteen minutes early, wearing a mask of grim, harrowed determination and fuelled by spite and coffee, and they pulled up that poster and started presenting and yes, okay, I'll admit their actual delivery was dramatically unpolished and yes, they forgot to include the taxanomic name for the hen harrier on the poster and yes, fine, I admit that there were more than a few awkward moments where they lost their place in their hastily scribbled notebook but LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU -
They smashed it. It was well-critiqued, it had a map, it had full citations, it had a section on the hen harrier's specific ecology and role in the ecosystem, it had notes on their specific conservation measures. They described case studies they'd read about elsewhere. They answered the questions we threw at them with competence and depth. There was analysis. All that background research they'd done came right to the fore. They were even within the time limit by 15 seconds.
You would never have known they'd produced it in three hours, from a quivering and terrified mess fighting the bodily urge to dehydrate via tear ducts. After they left, the second marker and I looked at each other and went "So that was a 2:1, right?"
I caught up with Aeron downstairs and he was beaming. Apparently Ceri had seen him on their way out, and had gone over to talk to him. Aeron said the difference between the Ceri of this morning and the Ceri of then was like two different people; in four hours, they'd gone from their voice literally breaking as they admitted the problem, ashamed and broken, to being relaxed and happy and smiling.
"I reckon I've passed," they apparently told Aeron, pleased. "Maybe even a 2:2. There's things I wish I'd had the time to do better, but I'll be happy if I passed."
They won't know until late January what they got, because we're not allowed to release marks until 20 term days after hand-in, and the Christmas holidays are about to hit. But I'm really hoping I can be there when they're released.
But mostly, I'm just... insanely proud of them. I cannot tell you how happy I am. And I know, I know, obviously this is not a practice I would want to see them do regularly, or indeed ever again, and it only worked because they were fucking lucky with the assignment format, but like... when life is just punching you in the face, and you hit a breaking point... isn't it nice? That just this once, you pull off a miracle, and it's fixed? The disaster you thought was about to ruin you is gone? To get that relief?
Anyway. Super super proud today.
#I mean I'm often proud of my students of course#the warm fuzzy feeling is one of the best parts of lecturing#but MAN this one got me today#the professional world of careers and tasks#adhd
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I thought I would walk some additional 14 km today and thus burn my accidental lunch (caved into peer pressure and went to a restaurant and had a salad instead of eating my perfectly counted can of tuna) and as such I agreed to go have breakfast with some friends tomorrow to celebrate the end of the excursion.
But I did not walk those 14 km because I wasn't able to get water + I just finished 12 hours of lectures + my arches were killing me + it was raining + I wanted to shower + I wanted to study + I was fucking freezing.
Which means I have to punish myself for my lack of discipline and I also have to make up for the food and that means I CANNOT have that breakfast. In fact I cannot have anything. For 2 days. Just to be sure.
So now I'm trying to figure out what lie I can make up. Currently thinking about saying that I just started to feel really nauseous all of a sudden and as such I unfortunately cannot eat breakfast oopsie. It feels really random and not really believable though.
#god this is so tiring. i wish i wasn't me so i could just live. people don't have to be ideal to earn being tolerated but i do#people don't even have an ideal and there should never be one. but there is one for me and the court of the world expects me to#always fit it. it's a competition and the jury is judging me. I'm constantly trying to win the case. to make the judge rule me innocent#of what I don't know. of everything i suppose.#but it's just exhausting. and I'm not sure if it's more exhausting to just give up and follow whatever the nagging voice says or#if it's more exhausting to fight it. i feel horrible and full of guilt and shame and terror either way so does it really matter?#if i die because my heart gives out or if i die by my own hand?#apparently bulimics have a much higher self-harm percentage but i personally have a tendency to harm my body after i eat#i don't want to do it but i recognise that that's partly exactly why i want to. my emotional torment is probably much more#of a goal than the physical pain. there's a part of me that wants to lead psychological warfare against me#and you know what it's like. it's fine. i accepted that i would die by my own hand a long time ago. I've always said that#i don't know when and that it might be in two decades or a year or a month or a day; but that one day i would go past the breaking#point and kill myself.#i think it's an inevitability of my life and I'm fine with that. someone has to kill themselves. someone has to be that number#in the statistics. there is no reason for it not to be me and if not me it'd be someone else#so it's fine#but yeah it's like...well it's been a run...not sure if a good one...but it's been a run and considering how much i just don't care anymore#i think this time it's really it. and i have a lot of responsibilities so I'm really pissed about it#but listen I'm just exhausted. my every waking thought is plagued by counting and avoiding reflective surfaces and wanting#nothing more than to stare into reflective surfaces for 20 minutes straight and check for every imperfection and irregularity#and check if everything is the same as the day before. i don't know if i should trust my eyes or my emotions or my logic#i don't know which is which. half of my brain power is devoted to making up plausible lies. 'i had a stomach bug earlier'#'im just really nauseous. yea accidentally had lactose earlier.' 'my stomach hurts so i shouldn't eat anything' 'i ate before i came here'#'oh i said i didn't have anything with me? i uhhh i went shopping yesterday evening actually'#i can't focus at all. I'm either too tired or the voice is too loud and too aggressive. i have no idea how I'm going to pass my classes
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one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.
i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."
at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.
it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.
i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.
a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"
knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?
it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"
you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."
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A Package Deal - Part 3
In which things are made official.
Warnings: smut in the middle. lando being jealous. Pairing: Lando x SingleMom!Reader Word Count: 4.6k words
(a note: happy new year loves!!! hope you enjoy part three!!)
- A Package Deal - A Package Deal - Part 2 - Master List
yourusername (private) posted
yourusername testing testing... BFFSarah so jealous! >>>yourusername miss you! ❤️ landonorris stalker >>>yourusername 😘 >>>BFFSarah 👀
"I'm funnier than Greg, right?" Lando grumbles, not even bothering to take his eyes off of you.
"Mate, what?" Oscar replies, eyes narrowed, totally mystified as to what the hell his teammate is talking about. "Like, Greg, the guy on the strategy team Greg?"
"Yeah, him." Lando raises his chin towards where you stand opposite of said strategy Greg, laughing (even louder this time) at something he's said. Lando knuckles go white on the counter he's standing when Greg leans in just a bit too close for his comfort.
It was the first day of testing in Bahrain and Lando had just come in from his first test stint of the 2025 season. When he'd walked into the garage a few minutes earlier, he'd instantly clocked where you stood near the back of the garage staring up at a few computer monitors beside his newest nemesis, Greg. At first he hadn't thought anything of it but then he heard you laugh, a sound that was quickly becoming one of his favorite things, and he had stopped what he was doing to stare.
"I don't think I know Greg's sense of humor well enough to be the judge of that." Oscar responds, still confused as to why Lando was asking him such a random question. When Oscar follows Lando's line of sight though, everything clicks into place and starts to make a lot more sense.
"Oh..." He mutters, unable to quell the smirk that surfaces.
"'Oh' what?" Lando snaps, still attempting to assassinate Greg with a glare.
"You're jealous." Oscar practically giggles. He might be the quieter one of the driver duo, but that quiet demeanor meant that he noticed a lot more than other people gave him credit for and Oscar had caught onto Lando's crush after the first time he had stumbled into your office and disappeared on him for hours.
Lando finally tears his eyes away from where you're standing, still staring up in rapt attention to Greg. "I most certainly am not." He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest in a move that is very reminiscent of a Stella temper tantrum.
"You two aren't even together, are you?" Oscar reasons, doing next to nothing to reassure Lando that he has nothing to be worried about.
Lando narrows his eyes at the Australian as he fights a pout. "I mean, no. Not technically, I guess."
And that was the problem, wasn't it? You two had been on a few dates and he'd been coming over to your house to hang with you and Stella more and more but a serious discussion of what was happening? He'd been too scared to have that kind of talk with you so quick. You made him nervous but being rejected by you sounded even worse.
"Maybe you should like, talk to her about it then? If that's what you want? I mean, I've never seen the sight of a girl talking to someone else send you into orbit like this before. You really like her, don't you?"
Oscar had worked hard to keep his opinion of you and Lando together to himself. He hated when people commented on his relationship with Lily, which was a big reason why they were so quiet together, so he had made it a point not to press when it came to you. He'd spent most of the morning with you though, while Lando was in the car and he could see why Lando was so attached to you already. You were wicked smart and the program that you had been writing for the team was impressive. He knew there were other people in Lando's life that didn't think the driver could handle being with someone like you but the more Oscar got to know you, the more he could see why you two got on so well.
Lando's gaze slides back to you then. "I do, yeah." He murmurs, a sudden sense of determination settling over him. Before he has the chance to chicken out once again, he pats Oscar on the back and starts off towards where you and Greg are still huddled together in front of a computer screen.
"Greg, can I steal her away from you real quick?" Lando says by way of greeting, his tone needlessly possessive. "Will and I wanted to go through last sessions data with you before lunch." He lies.
You hadn't noticed the way Lando had been staring daggers at you and Greg up until that very moment but the feral look he's giving you takes you by surprise. Greg had approached you as Lando's session had wound down and your new program was stretching its legs on your laptop. He wanted to talk about the inputs you were adding in for this year and give you some feedback on the initial data capture of this morning's session. It was totally innocent and when Lando had slid up next to you practically breathing fire, you had been a bit caught off guard.
"I'll see you at the cocktail party later tonight, Greg." You give him a smile before turning back to Lando. "Where do you want to go, the debrief room?"
"Sure." Lando huffs, giving Greg a fake smile before grabbing your elbow and leading you towards an empty conference room. Like hell you were going to see Gregory at any point for the rest of the day.
You're totally confused at the way he's practically dragging you down the hallway and even more perplexed when Lando nearly slams the door closed behind him and you find the debrief room completely empty. "Where's Will?"
"What?" Lando frowns.
"You said you and Will wanted to go over some data after your session." Annoyance moves through you. What in the world was going on?
"Oh, yeah no. I lied." Lando glares at you like you're the insane one, frown deepening.
"Lando!" You sputter, resisting the urge to chuck the nearest laptop at his head. "I was in the middle of a conversation with Greg."
When he rolls his eyes, you swear you see red. "Yeah, I know. We all saw how endlessly entertaining the conversation was."
The pout that finds it's way onto his face is what unlocks everything for you though. Sudden understanding washes over you as it all finally clicks.
"You're jealous!" You gasp, desperately trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.
Lando at least as the decency to look a bit ashamed of his behavior but attempts to deny it. "I am not."
You arch an eyebrow at the man standing across from you as if he's not the easiest book in the world to read. "Lando Norris, you were jealous of a man who was telling me all about how his boyfriend took him on a trip to the Bahamas over the holidays and got bitten by a wild swimming pig."
The way Lando's cheeks go scarlet as he crosses his arms over his chest nearly has you doubled over with laughter.
"Oh."
"Oh is right, you muppet." You chuckle, using the term of endearment he's become famous for. In a few strides, your within arms length of him, tugging at the waist of his half unzipped race suit. Lando takes a step forward as you pull him closer.
"Jealously looks good on you, Norris." You smirk before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, mindful of the fact that you're still at work.
Lando settles his hands on your hips, drawing you even closer to him, seemingly forgetting that he's still at work. He grins down at you, a flirty glint sparking in his eyes.
"Yeah, well. What can I say? The sight of some idiot flirting with my girlfriend kind of set me off."
Your hands slip around Lando's waist. Heart hammering so fast you're amazed Lando can't hear it, you beam up at him. You'd never experienced the kind of contentment and safety you felt whenever you were with Lando before. He frequently caught you off balance like this and had you feeling like you were a teenager again, still believing in fairy tales and happy endings.
"Girlfriend, huh?"
"That's right." He whispers. The rasp in his voice has you pressing your hips into his, seeking friction from his body.
"Well, since I'm your girlfriend then I guess you’ll be needing this for later tonight." Reaching into the back pocket of your jeans, your fingers find the thin plastic card you'd stashed there to slip into Lando's hand sometime this afternoon.
Anticipation sparks between your bodies as Lando figures out what you've just pressed into his palm. All this time he'd been building up this big conversation that he thought had to be had and nervously putting so much pressure on himself to do this all the right way. It had only taken a matter of seconds though and you had reminded him that it like most everything that happened between you and him, this was easy too. There's a silent understanding that passes between you two then that maybe this was how it was supposed to be from the beginning and that sometimes wires get crossed and we meet people later than the universe intended.
"I have to get back to work and you should really find Will and actually debrief but I think I'd like to skip tonights cocktail hour if that's okay with you."
Lando reluctantly lets go and nods, swallowing around the thick lump of emotion stuck in his throat.
"Yeah." He croaks before reaching back out to bring your face to his, kissing you so intensely your knees buckle. "I'll see you tonight."
Not even five minutes after Lando responds to your text, you hear the beeping of the lock to your hotel room door and it swings open moments later. Anxiety flows through you despite the flirty text you'd just sent. This kind of thing was totally out of your wheel house, with most of your adult life spent focusing on your daughter and not dating. It had been Sarah's suggestion to send that risky text but after your conversation with Lando earlier, you were briefly confident that it would be well received. And judging by his response, you were right. That didn't do much to calm your nerves though so the knock on your door sends the butterflies in your belly flying around in what feels like a category five tornado.
"Are you trying to kill me?" Lando groans when he sees you kneeling on the bed waiting for him. Every thought tumbles straight out of his head at the sight of you waiting for him in nothing but black bits of lace. If he had known this was what had been waiting for him all night, he certainly wouldn't have gone to dinner with some of the team.
"You like it then?" You ask, barely resisting the urge to dive under the covers you feel so exposed under his gaze. Lando can't stop staring and it's starting to make you nervous, the way he's dragging his eyes up and down your body without making an attempt to move from where he stands just inside your hotel room.
"Like it? Baby, are you fucking kidding me? I don't think I've ever seen a prettier sight in my entire life." The rasp in his voice drags down your skin like sandpaper.
"Then stop staring and get over here."
Lando obeys immediately, toeing off his shoes before joining you on the bed. His hands find your hips and before you can make a sound, he's pulling you into his lap and attaching his lips to your neck.
"I think everyone got the impression I was about to be sick or something, I got up from that table so fucking fast." He mumbles against you. "Also, give me some warning next time you're going to send me that kind of thing, Osc nearly got an eye full of something that is for my eyes only."
Lando had been attempting to show Oscar something on his phone when your text had come through and the moment he'd swapped over to his iMessage app he was glad that Andrea had picked that exact second to call Oscar's name. He had shut down the message app so fast, all of his blood rushing straight from his head to below his belt.
"Oops." You giggle. "Sorry."
"You're not one bit sorry, don't lie."
All you do is shrug as you preen under his attention. He eyes drag lazy lines up and down your body, stalling when they fall on the black lace barely hiding your most intimate parts. The heat of his gaze has fire stoking deep in your belly and for the first time in years, you feel desired and wanted. It's an unfamiliar feeling that you're still getting used to but with Lando, it feels safe. You feel cared for and it's unlike anything you've ever experienced with anyone you've slept with before. Which, to be totally honest, wasn't a lot. You haven't been in a serious relationship since Stella's dad, the only dates you've gone on in the last six years usually ending in casual flings that don't end up meaning much outside of the bedroom.
This though? This feels different and you know Lando feels the same.
Lando's hands grip at your hips as he moves you off his lap briefly and stands up. Your eyes nearly roll back into your head when he unbuckles his belt with one hand, tugging it off in one smooth motion, the leather slapping against itself and echoing throughout the otherwise silent room.
“Jesus.” You breathe and desperately try to catch your breath as he reaches for the hem of his shirt. You've known that Lando has a sinfully good body for a while, his entire career is centered around his body afterall so naturally, he is in amazing shape. There’s a reason that women will do next to anything to get any of the drivers in their bed. Nothing prepared you for the hard planes of his chest and the insane cut of his abs though. The way his waist nips in to show off a deep V cut of his torso makes your mouth water. With both his jeans and shirt now discarded, he stands in front of you in just a pair of gray boxers that do absolutely nothing to hide how rock hard he is.
Fuck.
Before you can stop yourself, you rise up on your knees and move towards him, needing to get your hands on his body. On your knees before him while he’s standing, you only come up to his collar bones but that’s enough. You drop kisses on his heated flesh and relish the way his breath hitches in his throat when your lips make contact. He allows you to continue kissing him for several moments, his hands roaming all over your body. You don’t know how long it is but after his hands have taken full a full tour of your skin, he pulls back and looks at you with a primal glint in his eyes. “Lay down." He orders "I need my tongue on you. Now.”
You obey and crawl back, watching him prowl after you. Your head rests on the pile of pillows as he covers you with his body and suddenly, the insecurity and anxiety from earlier flashes through your mind. You've never been with anyone who seemed to want to do anything but fuck you and then be done with it. This reverence for your body is completely foreign and the reality of what is about to happen crashes through the haze of lust that clouds your mind.
You must stiffen a bit because a frown appears on Lando's face as his arms cage you in and he hovers over you. “Baby?”
You shake your head, refusing to let your insecurity ruin the night. Your eyes close and you take a deep breath to steady yourself.
“I’m fine.” You whisper but Lando doesn’t believe you. He drops back onto his knees and straddles you, drawing back so he can see your entire face.
“What’s wrong? We don’t have to do this tonight if you’re not ready.”
Your face heats, but from embarrassment this time. Fuck. You do not want to ruin this.
“No. It’s okay. I just…I’m just not used to this kind of attention.” You don’t tell him how your're used to being used for your body, for whatever pleasure your partner can get out of me and nothing more. You don’t tell him how insecure it makes you to think that he could do the same thing to you too, despite how safe and good he makes you feel no matter what. Sometimes, habits are hard to break. Especially habits that are born out of trauma. You can't tell him any of that though because you think it might break his heart.
Lando tilts his head and seemingly understands what you're saying. “I don’t know what the fuck the guys in your life were thinking, having you in their bed and not treating you properly, but baby, I am not them. This is not about me, this is about you.” His fingers trace long, lazy lines from your shoulder down over your bra and continue down your body as you shudder with pleasure.
“That’s it." He coos. "I know you’re scared but I swear to you, you are safe with me.” His voice is barely a whisper but you can hear the sincerity in it. Your heart thunders in your chest as you hover between wanting to stop and throwing every bit of caution away and allowing him to do whatever he wants to you.
“I know I am. I always have been.” You hum.
“Do you want to stop? You just have to say the word and we will. This is yours to control.”
Your eyes search his for any trace of anger and when you find nothing but honesty in his face, you shake your head. “Please don’t stop.”
You desperately do not want him to stop.
Once he’s sure you're okay, he crashes his mouth on yours once again and you melt into him. His body is so heavy on top of you but it feels oh so good. You never want it to end. You never want tonight to end. Lando presses kisses into your skin all down your body, starting at your jaw, moving slowly downwards. Kisses on that dip between your neck and shoulders, lower to your sternum, even lower to just above where your bra still sits. He stops then and snakes a hand behind you, lifting you up momentarily, and unclasps the back with surprising ease.
“Okay, that was way too easy for you.” You accuse, laughter bubbling up as he tosses the bra across the room.
His eyes find yours and he shrugs casually, “What?” He feigns innocence, “Lucky first try?”
“Oh, whatever. Get back to work.” You order, laughter teasing at the edge of your voice.
Lando shakes his head again, dropping his head back where he had left off and turns his attention to one of your nipples, taking it fully in his mouth. You inhale a sharp breath at the sensation coursing through you. It feels like your skin is on fire, all leading down to a single throb between your legs. He hums in satisfaction when your back arches off the bed. A moan escapes your lips when he scrapes his teeth against the sensitive skin, the pain sends a jolt of electricity straight to your core. After what feels like an eternity, he turns his attention to the other nipple, already pebbled and hard, aching for the same attention. Your mind goes blank as you focus on the jolts of electricity coursing through your body. Your hands tangle in his curls, gripping at the tangles of brown hair, needing something to latch onto.
“Lan.” His name is a whispered prayer on your lips.
“Fuck. Baby.” He comes up for air briefly to look at you again and you almost can’t stand to look at him, he looks so good. His lips are swollen from kissing you for so long and he's got this heavy lidded, lustful hazy gaze in his eyes that you've never seen from him before.
“You taste so good.” He rasps before shifting back up to land kisses on your lips. You're so focused on what his lips are doing that you completely miss his fingers digging into your hips. You let out a startled cry when the sound of ripping fabric cuts through the breathy sighs that have filled the room.
“Lando!” You whine, “I liked those!” You look at the torn bits of black lace that he’s dropped next to him on the bed and sigh dramatically.
“They were in my way. I’ll buy you fifty more tomorrow.” Without waiting for a response, his hand dips down towards your pussy and anticipation climbs in you. You gasp when he sinks not one, but two fingers into the heat between your legs. Your entire body aches off the bed towards his hand. “Christ. Baby. You are fucking soaked for me, aren’t you?”
It’s all you can do to just nod an affirmation as he swirls his fingers in achingly slow circles. His thick fingers inch closer to your clit but manage to avoid it and you know he’s doing it on purpose. You wiggle your hips in search of that friction you crave so badly but every time you get close, he moves his fingers out of the way. By the fourth time this happens, you're a whimpering mess underneath him and Lando is clearly enjoying it. “Lando.” You whimper. “Touch me.”
“I am touching you.” He drops another hot kiss on your jaw and traces his tongue down your neck. You swear you're going to explode from the sensations coursing through your body.
“You know exactly what I fucking mean.” You snap and move your hips again, only to find his fingers just short of the destination you want them in yet again.
An evil chuckle tickles your skin. “I like you like this. A pretty little mess underneath me. My girl is so wet for me, isn’t she?”
His girl. The emotions crash through you at his words and every other thought beyond those two words leaves your brain.
His girl.
His girl.
Your brain chants the all consuming phrase.
Just when you think you can’t take it any more and you feel that familiar tug at the base of your spine and Lando finally gives you what you've been aching for. The pad of his thumb brushes against your clit and your hips fly off the bed towards his fingers. A cry escapes your lips as you claw at his back. He keeps up the same pace and you can feel yourself barreling towards a delicious release.
“Please. Don’t. Stop.” You pant, breath coming in short gasps as you rock your hips against his hand. Thankfully, he keeps his hand exactly where it is and allows you to grind against it, knowing that this is exactly what you need from him. His lips come down on yours again and when he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, you fly over the cliff.
Sweet release shatters your entire body and you stiffen against him. Your nails dig into his back, leaving little half moons embedded in his flesh. He’ll have red welts there for days and he couldn’t be happier about it. You don’t know how many times you cry out his name but he keeps completely still, allowing you to get the relief that you desperately need against him.
When your orgasm subsides, you practically melt into the bed, mind too muddled with pleasure to talk. You open your eyes and grin lazily at Lando, who has shifted so he’s lying next to you on the bed. He’s grinning right back and tracing shiver-inducing lines up and down your naked skin.
“Fuck. Lando. That…” You are completely lost for words so it takes you a moment to form a complete sentence, “That was the first time anyones been able to make me come with just their fingers.”
“Well, I’m glad I could be your first.” He smirks, dropping a kiss on your temple as he pulls you closer to him.
You turn to face him and you're struck at how handsome he is. His curly hair is messy from when you pulled at it while he was getting you off, his eyes glassy with satisfaction even though he hasn’t even come himself yet. He seems to get off just watching you and that is a completely foreign concept.
You reach out and feel the light stubble that covers his jaw, enjoying the rough feel against your fingers. You idly wonder what that stubble would feel like against your thighs and decide that you're just going to have to find out exactly what it feels like soon. That one single thought sends heat flooding through your veins once again and you're surprised. You've never considered myself to be one of those girls that could go several rounds. Usually you were finished after one orgasm, most of the time it was faked anyway. But with Lando laying next to you, you feel like you could do this for the rest of the night. A mischievous grin slips across your face as you reach over and push him back into the pillows.
Before you allow yourself to think about what you're doing, you straddle him and relish in the feeling of his dick that is now nudging against your ass. “I think I need you inside me now.” You tell him and squeal when his pupils blow and he flips you onto your back without warning.
Hours later, you fall into such a deep sleep you don't notice Lando slip out of bed to get a drink of water from the bathroom. You'd spent the better part of the evening underneath him as he gradually worked you over so good you had lost count of how many times he had made you come.
The mattress dips when he joins you back in bed and Lando is surprised to find that he doesn't want to leave you. Up until meeting you, Lando had been more of a one night stand, never sleep over, kind of person when it came to sex. Getting back into bed with you and pulling you close so he could fall asleep with you tucked next to him was something he never thought he'd want but now that he had it, he knew he'd never be able to live without it again.
When Lando pulls you towards him, you stir a bit, enjoying the way the heat of his body warms your naked skin. You're so fucked out from everything Lando did to your body, your brain is a little sluggish but you turn into him, burying your head deep into his chest.
"You left me." You whine sleepily.
Lando slots his leg between yours, hitching your top leg up over his waist. "I'm sorry, baby." He whispers against your hair. "I needed a drink but I'm not going anywhere."
"I thought you left." In your sleepy haze, the words you probably would've tamped down slip out. "Please don't leave me."
Lando knows you're more than half asleep and probably don't realize what you're saying but something in your words has him feeling you don't just mean for the night. "I'm not going anywhere, sweet girl. Not ever." He whispers, listening to the soft cooing sound you make in response before you drift right back off to sleep.
Tag list: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @longhairkoo @samantha-chicago @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland @chlmtfilms @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @linnygirl09 @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream @daemyratwst @dramaticpiratellamas @mochimommy2002 @llando4norris @chelseyyouraverageluigi @iamaunknownsecret @maxivstappen @imlonelydontsendhelp @nina-or-anna-or-nora @a1leexxa @littlegrapejuice @sunflowervol18 @freyathehuntress @finn-dot-com @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @chirasama @lauralarsen @dr3wstarkey @saskiaalonso @rbv3rstappen @ilovechickenwings @guaaafiiburg @mcmuppet @glitteryturtledeer @mindless-rock @piastei-fvx
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris fanfic#boyfriend lando#lando norris smut#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris fic
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what friends do
pairing: felix x gn!reader w. 2.1k genre: fluff, a bit of angst and suggestive content summary: at some point a few months ago, felix kissed you for the first time. you didn't mean to catch feelings, but the lazy make-out sessions on his couch were melting your heart. warnings: swearing a/n: this is a fic i wrote on ao3 almost a year ago for @ppiri-bahng! i just wanted to post it on here. unlikely for a part 2 but enjoy :)
At some point a few months ago, Felix kissed you for the first time.
You'd been friends for years up to this point. You met him not long before his debut, so you're his day one. There was always something about the way you interacted with each other that felt so right, and it's why you became such close friends so fast. You spent all the time in the world together, and you'd spend every moment of every day with him, if you could. Felix had agreed with you once that you were soulmates. He was the best friend you'd ever had.
There was nearly nothing you didn't tell or do with Felix. He knew all of your secrets, little facts about you, every person in your life that was significant to you, and it was reciprocated on your end. You two knew each other like the back of your hand, and it felt as if nothing could ever separate you. There was nothing you wouldn't do for Felix, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for you.
So, when he asked if he could kiss you, you said yes.
"Hey."
Your eyes opened, previously closed as your head was slumped onto Felix's shoulder. The television in front of you had some romantic comedy movie on, but you weren't nearly awake enough to know what it was about. You moved your head off of the boy next to you and looked over at him, his chocolate eyes returning your gaze. "Yeah?"
"Would you kiss me?" Felix let his words out nonchalantly, which you struggled to tell if it was the byproduct of his exhaustion or if it was his attitude towards the question in general. His eyes never left yours, so you assumed there was some care behind it.
You shrugged. "Uhh, I don't see why not. Why, do you wanna kiss me or something?" The thought of kissing Felix hadn't really crossed your mind, aside from the few times you stared at his lips a little too long and wondered how soft they were. But really, you'd never thought that way of him.
"I might." Felix pursed his lips and stared at you, which you almost immediately picked up on what he was doing. The look in his eyes and his expression was one you'd seen a million times before, it what was Felix did when he wanted something. You'd usually see it in the context of him wanting some food or to go out, but the look never changed.
Your eyebrows furrowed a little bit, wondering his intentions. Felix never liked you in that way, at least that's what he claimed. "Is this just a totally platonic thing between friends? Why do you want me to kiss you?"
"I just.." Felix trailed off for a moment, tapping his finger on his leg, "I want to kiss you because I miss kissing. The few times I've done it, it was always so nice and fun.. and I thought you'd be chill with it. It's not a romantic thing for me. It's just something I've wanted to do for a while, but I get it if you don't want to."
"No, no.. I get it. If it's not changing anything between us, I don't really see why not. Kissing is fun."
Felix smiled and nodded softly. He let out a sigh of relief and put his arm around your shoulder. "Can I kiss you now?"
"Yeah."
That's where it started. The first time you put your hand on his chest and your lips collided, his hands finding their way to cupping your cheek and the back of your neck, pulling you in close. When you first found out that you were right, his lips were as soft as they seemed. An assortment of little pecks turns slower and into deeper, longer kisses that are more drawn out and intimate. You didn't expect him to kiss you for that long, but you didn't mind. He was a good kisser, which he occupied you with for three minutes the first time around.
Every time the two of you broke apart for little gasps of air, he'd give you these smiles that would break you. Something made kissing him so fun and easy, so addicting and great. The way your hand rose and fell as it stayed planted on his chest made your heart flutter a little. Fuck, wait. No, that's a little too much. A little weird.
Then, it kept happening.
You'd be sitting around in the dorm kitchen, cooking up a meal, and a pair of arms would surround your waist. You'd look down, seeing skinny arms covered in freckles, and smile. Felix needed kisses. You'd tell him to leave you be, that you had to pay attention to your food, but his little pecks on your neck and cheek got you hooked. You'd end up with food burning as you were pressed into the kitchen counter, giving slow, sloppy kisses to Felix for far too long. When he finally let you go, he'd apologize for burning your food and take you out to eat.
Then it was movie night again. Then it was in his room. Then your room.
Felix turned out to love kissing a lot more than you expected. Almost any time you were alone together turned into a lazy make out session. You'd learned the ins and outs of what he liked, how your mouths fit together just right, how eager he was to add tongue, or how he'd always smile into the kiss when you wrapped your arms around his waist or put your hand on his chest.
Every time you'd pull away from him, finally stopping, you'd often end up laying your head on his chest and your head felt fuzzy. Your brain hadn't felt like this before, which was utterly confusing. This was your best friend, but every time you made out with him, your stomach would pull flips and feel like you had butterflies. But, in your head, he was just a friend.
Was he?
You sat on Felix's bed, scrolling your Twitter feed and turning your brain off to the real world. The room was nice and just cold enough for you to be wearing one of Felix's sweaters, which was your favorite. He'd always let you borrow them when it was cold in the house, and they smelled like him. They smelled like home, always taking you to a safe space mentally and cooling your anxiety for a bit.
Peering past your phone, you tuned back in to hear angry phrases coming out of Felix as he sat at his desk. Watching Felix play games was funny, since he never seemed to improve much at them. He always got mad when he lost, and overjoyed when he won. It was obvious he was playing a losing game, and it would be over shortly. You watched on, picking up more about how the game worked, as he gave up and the game ended. He threw his arms up in exasperation, standing up from his desk.
"You okay?" You knew he wouldn't ever really be upset over a game, not in a true way. Though, you always liked to ask so he could vent his frustrations and feel better faster.
"Yeah, fuck, it's just-" Felix let out a long sigh, covering his face with his hands, "I hate playing this game. I always end up losing a bad game and I'm in a bad mood for a while. I don't even know why I play it."
"Awh, 'lix," You opened your arms, "Come here."
Felix walked over slowly to the bed, slumping his body into yours and burying his face in the crook of your neck. Your heart tensed, a warm feeling shooting through your body as you wrapped your arms around him and held him close. He let out soft murmurs, speaking angrily under his breath in an unintelligible way that you couldn't make out what he was saying.
You rubbed his back softly in silence until he finally sat up on his own, looking at you. You met his eyes, entranced in his beauty for a few moments before you looked at his expression. Your eyebrows furrowed. "Felix.."
"Please?"
Fuck. Felix's smooth, deep voice always won you over. As soon as he pleaded with you, you folded for him. Your mouth pursed as you tried to fight off a smile, looking away as you took a deep sigh. "Okay, fine."
Felix smiled giddily and let out a small noise of excitement, which hit you in the gut again. You leaned back against the wall behind you, legs dangling over the short side of the bed as Felix climbed onto your lap. You reached up and brushed a bit of hair out of his face, which he smiled at. Your heart wasn't dealing well with this. Before you could keep thinking, he pressed his lips against yours and you were taken into a mind-numbing state of bliss.
Your arms stayed firmly wrapped around his waist to keep him secure as his hands stayed planted on your neck and cheek. Your kisses were always perfectly slow and tender, Felix never liking to rush through it. The way his lips dragged almost lazily over yours drove you crazy, but you took it at his pace, as much as you'd like to go faster.
At least he was a crazy good kisser. You could never get bored of kissing him, even if you had to spend an hour doing it. You just might, as your longest kissing session went for half an hour with only two small breaks in it. Making out with Felix could take up all your time, and you'd be okay with it. As much as you hated how much you liked kissing him, it was true.
So when he finally pulled away from you a few minutes later, you felt a tensing in your gut. Your lips formed a thin line as you looked down at the bed, unable to contain how you were feeling. Every time you kissed, your feelings for him got progressively worse. You'd reached a breaking point.
"You alright?"
Your chest got a strike of pain through it. The innocence and caring in Felix's deep voice could've shattered you in that moment. You were a house of cards spilled all over the floor. You wanted so badly to tell him a lie, tell him everything was normal and fine, but you knew deep down it wasn't true. You loved him.
"No." Your voice shook, tears forming in your eyes. It was too much to handle.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here. What's wrong?" Felix stroked your hair softly, leaning down to try to see your face.
You pressed your face directly into his chest, a place that had grown to be your comfort spot. His scent filled you with that soothing feeling, but your stomach turned again and you knew it meant something different now than it did before. A tear slid down your cheek. "I can't do this anymore, Felix. It's too much for me."
"Too much for you? Am I making you uncomfortable? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," Felix wrapped his arms around you and held you close.
"No, it's not that at all," Your voice broke, trying not to sob, "I think.. somewhere in this whole kissing thing.. I caught feelings for you. I haven't been able to tell you because I didn't want to make it weird, but it was making me feel so guilty.. and I was liking this too much for my own good. I get it if you don't want to hang out with me anymore, Felix. I'm sorry."
Felix froze for a little bit. He continued to hold you and stroke your hair, but he was silent for long enough to make you worry. Your heart ached as you realized that this might be the end of your relationship with him.
"I think I did, too."
"What?" You pulled back suddenly from his chest, meeting his eyes.
Felix's brows furrowed as he nodded. "I wasn't lying when I wanted to kiss you because I missed kissing.. but I think I did it partly because I wanted to kiss you specifically, and I thought I'd fuck things up between us if I tried to make it more than friends."
"Oh, Felix.." You broke into a smile, a few tears still rolling down your face, "You should've told me."
"I know.. I just couldn't get myself to do it. You were in my head all the time, driving me crazy. I knew it wasn't what friends do, but it was the only way I could still be normal friends with you without going mad."
"So, does that mean we can kiss.. like, not just as friends?"
"Yeah."
#felix#lee felix#felix x reader#lee felix x reader#stray kids#skz#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz imagines#skz fic#felix skz
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It's fic time. The Axolotl tries to persuade Bill to face what happened to his dimension while Bill tries to avoid that literally any way possible.
This is part 8 of a 9 part plot about the Axolotl meeting this friendly harmless innocent little triangle in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre and gradually learning he's literally the worst person ever. If you want to read and/or look at the pretty art on the other parts, here's one, two, three, four, five, six, and seven.
(WARNING in this one for nonspecific but pretty obvious suicidal ideation)
####
The triangle whirled around as a milky white void closed in around him. "Whoa whoa hey! What is this? How'd I get here?"
"Welcome to my office. You're in a time and space outside time and space," the Axolotl said. "Take a seat. I have a very comfortable bean bag chair."
The triangle did not take a seat. He pointed at the Axolotl like an angry arrow. "What did you do! If you don't put me back now—"
"Don't worry. When we leave this space, you will be where and when you were. Think of this like a dream."
Furiously, the triangle burst into a ball of bright blue flame. It reeked of burning hydrogen—the stench of the fabric of reality itself burning away to nothing. But he, himself, didn't burn. What was fueling his flames? "Yeah?! Well, dreams are my business!" A wave of blue flames surged toward the Axolotl.
And dissipated without touching him. The Axolotl's eyes glowed white. "THIS IS MY DREAM, TRIANGLE—NOT YOURS!"
The triangle shrank down. He squeaked, "Got it." He quietly perched one edge on the Axolotl's bean bag chair. He didn't look at the Axolotl. He was staring up around them at the Axolotl's tank.
The Axolotl's eyes dimmed again to black voids. He settled back, trying to look unthreatening now that the triangle wasn't fighting him. "Do you see something?"
The triangle laughed uneasily. "Not aside from a whole lot of white."
"You keep looking up," the Axolotl said.
"Up?" the triangle said, confused; then apparently figured out what the Axolotl meant and snapped his gaze down to meet his again. "I never—haven't been able to see the stars before," he said, trying not to sound self-conscious even as he slowly tinted red again. "I've never seen anything that could block them. Except you."
Except him. The guy who passed the wall every day on his way to work; the eclipse that blocked out the sun once a year. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize." The walls of the tank seemingly dissolved, letting the triangle see the scene beyond: the glittery cotton candy celestial clouds of his home.
"Hey, I wasn't complaining! You're the one who asked." But the triangle had already visibly relaxed. He still wasn't looking at the Axolotl; but now, he was staring around at the unfamiliar new constellations with wonder.
It was the most unguarded the Axolotl had ever seen him. They didn't have much spare time; but the Axolotl couldn't bring himself to interrupt this brief peace.
After a moment, the triangle gestured toward the sky and said, "So, you—call that direction 'up.'"
"Yes?" the Axolotl said. "Is that strange?"
"No! Nooo no no. Just seems like it might be confusing, trying to tell apart north-up from star-up."
How odd. "We don't usually call north 'up'."
"Oh," the triangle said, voice small and sheepish.
"Some planetbound mortals do. But usually only when they're—" Oh. "... looking at maps." The world printed on a paper 2D plane. Like the plane the triangle had come from.
For all his power, his charisma, his bravado—the triangle was still just a lost little refugee from a flat little world. He held a whole universe in his hand, and he didn't even know up from down. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to him.
"Listen to me," the Axolotl said. "You're in a lot of trouble. I'm sure you know that."
The triangle scoffed. "Tell me something new."
"How much of our discussion did you hear?"
"Just something about rebuilding the higher dimensions' foundations. Which is exactly what I told you to do! You mind your business, I'll mind mine!"
He suspected the triangle had heard more than that. "It's not that simple. They can't rebuild the foundation until the fires are out. So, as long as your actions keep setting new ones..."
"A-ha. So that's why you're here," the triangle said. "They sent you to intimidate me into letting 'em condemn my dimension."
"No." It was true enough that they had sent the Axolotl to try to talk the triangle down. And yes, he would if he could—he certainly didn't want to see all of reality destroyed—but he wasn't primarily here to help the other gods. "I'm here to help you."
The Axolotl had watched how this triangle puppeted corpses and terrified the barely-living into dancing along to his tune. He had seen the dying and dead melted together into oversized composite corpses at the triangle's party; and he'd seen how the triangle's unhappy victims tumbled down into his hell. He'd seen how blue flames flared around the triangle in his anger, and how his lines of fire warped, melted, and consumed whole universes, and how he burned mortals down to the soul with his mere gaze. He'd felt how all of Dimension Zero moved when the triangle moved.
This triangle, this poor child, was a monster.
The Axolotl wore many faces. He'd been a psychopomp, a god of death. He'd changed roles so he could help the dead he escorted reach better futures—now he was a god of rebirth, a god of second chances, a god of justice.
And in his capacity as a god of justice, he'd proudly defended the villains that no one else would defend. He did not believe in punishment. It was too late to save the villains' victims, and no amount of punishment would ever change that; but it was not too late to save the villains.
He was god of death, god of rebirth, god of second chances, god of justice—and also a god of monsters. And he'd decided this monster was under his protection.
Dubiously, the triangle said, "So they sent you as my legal counsel."
Oh, for— "No. I'm just trying to give you advice."
"Even better—pro bono legal counsel!"
"You're not my client," the Axolotl said. "But I'll advise you as a friend. I can tell you your options as I see them. We can discuss them if you'd like. You may ask me one question, and no more."
"What? Why—" The triangle caught himself and struggled to rephrase. "That's a—stupid rule—that I want an explanation for!"
"Because I'm the Axolotl."
"What does that have t— I don't know what that has to do with anything!"
"I'm the only one who gets to ax a lotl questions."
The triangle stared at him. He burst out laughing. "I think I hate you!"
The Axolotl gave him a wide, gummy grin.
"St—stop that! It makes you even more ugly, ugh. I thought you were here to give me advice, not bad jokes." The triangle made a show of leaning back as though getting comfortable, although it was clear he was uneasy touching the bean bag chair. "So advise me, pink stuff."
"I preferred 'frills.'" Gently, the Axolotl said, "I think it's in your best interests to give yourself up to the divine authorities."
The triangle laughed in disbelief. "You're kidding. Hey, I heard your pals talking about how they can't fight me without knocking the multiverse down—"
"And once they've put up a fireproof foundation you can't burn your way through, there will no longer be any risk to the multiverse if they come after you."
"Sounds to me like a good reason to make sure they don't get that foundation in place!"
"For you to do enough damage to ensure they can't construct a foundation, you'd probably knock the multiverse down yourself," the Axolotl said. "And if that's the case, they'll have nothing to lose by trying to stop you anyway, and everything to lose by not trying."
The belligerence leeched out of the triangle's face by the word. "Oh. Yeah. I guess that's... yeah," he said. "Okay." His expression was faraway for a moment, as he tried to wrap his mind around the magnitude of the situation. "Okay. That's okay, it's fine, it's fine." Could he feel the walls closing in on him? Did he see the stars being blocked out? "I've... got a way out of this."
"What?"
He didn't meet the Axolotl's gaze. He pulled off his hat to worry at it in his hands. "I have a way."
Bluffing. Or wishful thinking. "No. This is trouble you can't get out of. There's no greater crime against reality than the destruction of an entire dimension," the Axolotl said. "Right now, the gods think you're an active, divine threat to all of existence. That's what this is about. They're not after you because you broke a couple of rules—they're afraid of you." (The triangle lit up at that. Not quite the reaction the Axolotl had been going for, but at least he had his attention.) "And that means they won't stop until they're sure you're no longer a threat. As long as they're pursuing you, your best case scenario is getting buried alive beneath the multiverse's foundation where they can forget about you until your dream realm unravels."
"So what g—I don't see what good giving myself up would do! My best move is putting off the inevitable as long as possible! Just let 'em try to bury me!"
"But it's not inevitable," the Axolotl said. "They fear you as a divine threat. If you prove you're neither divine nor a threat—"
"No."
"Mortals can't be charged the same way as gods can. If we convince the court that you didn't have your current powers at the time of the inferno—"
"I don't know why you're so convinced I didn't have powers at the time!"
"I'm not. That doesn't mean I can't convince a judge," the Axolotl said, which surprised the triangle enough that he actually shut up for a moment. "If you're charged as a god, you face eternal imprisonment or oblivion. If you're charged as a mortal, you'll be sentenced to a regular afterlife. If you give up your power—I'm not sure where yours come from, but there are ways it can be done—" (the triangle was already raising a finger to protest) "—and it can be temporary! But if you don't have divine power when you're taken in, it will be that much easier to convince the judge that you didn't have any when your wall burned. On top of that, if you surrender yourself willingly and admit that destroying Dimension 2 Delta was an accident, that alone can knock off half your charges."
"Next you'll ask me to give up my eye! No!" He was clenching his fist around his hat so tightly that it shook; but that was the only sign of anxiety he betrayed. His gaze was as intense as the stare of a sun. "I told you: me, my power, and my people are a package deal. We stay together. We're staying right here. I don't care how much it inconveniences you."
"It's not about how much it inconveniences us," the Axolotl said. "I'm here for you—you and your people."
"They don't need you or any of your stupid 'gods.' I can take care of them!"
"Then take care of them," the Axolotl said. "You understand that, no matter how this ends, your dream realm will be destroyed and you'll have to leave or perish—don't you?"
"No." That stubborn little glitter fleck. "I can patch up this dump and repair the wall by myself. Once the wall's back, you don't have to worry about your stupid multiverse destabilizing, right?! I'll stabilize my realm before you get your stupid impenetrable foundation in place! Maybe I'll put a roof on top of it that you can't get through!"
"You haven't done it yet! What do you think you can do that you haven't already done?"
"You don't need to know," the triangle snarled.
He had to be mad, bluffing, or in denial. But he didn't look it—eye narrowed in determination, flames smoldering around his edges, fist clenched around his hat—
And then it clicked.
He hadn't said he would replace his wall. He said he'd repair it.
The Time Giant had said there was no way the little speck of matter that the triangle kept in his hat could be all the matter from his universe; no mortal could handle it without its gravity crushing them, nor would they have the energy to move it.
But she'd also said that gravity was turned off in Dimension Zero. And the triangle had proven he did have the power to move an entire universe—so why should a universe the size of a grain of sand be any more difficult?
And anyway—what did restrictions like that mean in a place where dreams and reality overlap?
"The Time Giant was wrong, wasn't she," the Axolotl said. "You don't have a dark matter problem. You're carrying around the rubble of your universe. All of it. All the matter she sensed but couldn't find."
The triangle gave him a resentful look; but then sighed in defeat. He loosened his fist, reached into his hat, and plucked up the speck of what remained of his universe. The black pinprick of white light. "You're not as dumb as you look," he said wryly. "Yep. The whole thing's right here—all but a city or two. I figured out how to catch it pretty fast."
Catch it? "What... happened to your dimension?"
A faint uneasiness itched at the back of his mind; a sound, right at the edge of his hearing, that he couldn't quite identify but knew shouldn't be here.
"It doesn't matter," the triangle said. "It's about to un-happen."
"You're thinking about setting off a big bang, aren't you?"
The triangle said nothing. He just rolled his universe between his thumb and forefinger contemplatively.
"You are," the Axolotl said. "You want to replace your universe."
Coolly, the triangle said, "You're sounding kinda scared, frills."
"I am," the Axolotl admitted. "Of all your options, that's the most dangerous thing you could possibly do."
"Hey, the dangerous choices have turned out pretty well for me so far!"
The Axolotl really didn't think they had. "You know you can't get your old universe back, don't you? It will only make a new universe."
The triangle didn't say anything—but he went still, holding the tiny glowing pearl between his fingers rather than rolling it back and forth.
"It will have similar physical properties—it will be 2D, gravity and light will probably work the same way, all the laws of physics will be what you expect... but it will be a new universe. New stars and worlds will form. New species will evolve. Your people will never return."
The triangle squeezed the pearl in his hand. "You don't know that," he said harshly. "Everything that ever existed is right in here." He shook his fist at the Axolotl. He could see the light shining out between the triangle's fingers. "It has to have some sort of memory! There's gotta be traces of it left in there!"
"It can't remember. It doesn't have a soul to remember with."
"I'm a soul!" The triangle pointed at himself with a hundred arms. "Me! I remember! The whole dimension remembers!"
There was the hiss. The ever-present hiss that the Axolotl heard any time he was inside Dimension Zero, the static in the speakers, the last gasp of a dying big bang, the whisper murmur scream battering against the walls. Fear shivered up his spine. How was it audible from within his tank?
He tried to push down his fear. "You're not the whole dimension."
The triangle laughed. It was a chilling sound.
"Just—consider how much more you'd lose if it doesn't work the way you want it to. What will you do if you can't fix your dimension?"
"I can," he said. "If I can't fix it, no one can."
Why did he think he was more capable than gods who'd maintained the multiverse for trillions of years? "What if you're wrong?"
"I will fix it," the triangle said stubbornly.
"TELL ME WHAT YOU'LL DO IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT!"
The triangle literally shrank back, growing smaller as he sank into the Axolotl's beanbag. "Keep doing what I'm doing now! Partying!" He let out a half hysterical giggle. "I'll party til I die!"
"Set off a big bang in an unstable pseudo-dimension, and you will die! The kind of death no one comes back from!"
"Great!"
They both froze. Neither one of them had expected him to say that.
"Kidding," the triangle croaked. "I just—I just—I'm trying to get under your skin, pinky, that's all. Is it working? Don't answer that, that wasn't my question, that was—rhetorical. I'm assuming that stuff you've got is skin, anyway." The prattle was hollow and meaningless. "The point is, I'm the dream realm's eternal party host, and I'm not stopping this party for anything, no matter what you say, and—and that's it. That's all there is to it!"
He must have witnessed so many horrors, in so little time—his universe incinerating, his people dying, Dimension Zero constantly collapsing even as he attempted to prop it up, the dimensions above him twisting and warping as their people fell into his nightmarish realm...
The Axolotl slowly flew closer to the triangle.
"Oh, come on— don't," the triangle whined. "Whatever little speech you're about to make, don't, I don't wanna hear it—"
Gently, the Axolotl said, "I know you've lost your home."
The word "home" struck a note with the triangle. He didn't flinch, his expression didn't change; but he went still. He looked down at the compacted ruin of what used to be his whole universe.
"But it's not too late for you to find a new home," the Axolotl said. "You can still move on and rebuild. There's a future for you. If you come out, I'll help you navigate the afterlife system. If you're stuck in this dimension, we'll find a way to free you."
The triangle's face darkened.
"You can be reincarnated, or resurrected, or—just set free to be an energy being if you want. You can settle down in a neighboring dimension, join a new people—"
"No. I'm not about to be a couch surfer in someone else's universe." He glowered up at the Axolotl. "Those people will join me. Everyone can either join me, or—or get out of my way! I finally made my kingdom, I'm not giving up my crown now!"
"If you keep your crown, you'll kill your kingdom! You know that if you stay here you'll destroy everything, I know you know it!"
"It's the best option I have! Better than your plan, anyway! Surrender to the cops and let my world fall apart?" He laughed harshly. "No way, Buster! I told my people I'd liberate them from our flat, oppressive little world and take them to a party paradise, and that's exactly what I'm gonna make for them!" He held out his little pearl of a universe again, the paradise-to-be.
Before, he'd said that the dream realm was his paradise. He'd also said that he'd remake his destroyed universe exactly as it had been. How could the "oppressive" world they'd left be their paradise? Nevermind the fact that none of "his people" were from his world. Which of the stories he'd invented was the truth? Which did the triangle think was the truth? Did he even know?
"If all of this is for your people—would you risk them? If trying to build a paradise kills the very people you made it for—"
"They'd never know."
The Axolotl's blood ran cold. It took a moment for him to find his voice. "What?"
"I can keep the party going until the end. They'd never find out what's coming. If the dream realm collapses, it'll be too fast for them to tell what's happening," the triangle said. "In their final moments, they'll still remember me as a hero."
The Axolotl hadn't realized until that moment just how cold the triangle's expression was.
His mind flashed to seeing VENDOR earlier that day, hustling the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force to clean up this mess faster because THEY didn't want the journalists to claim THEY had mishandled the situation during an election season.
Was that all the triangle was?
Another politician more concerned with how his constituents saw him than with what he could do for them?
"But," the Axolotl said weakly, "I've watched how you rescue the mortals from the fires. I've seen how you're struggling to keep this dimension from collapsing on them. I've seen how much you're suffering. You're running yourself ragged to protect them. You want so badly for them to be safe."
The triangle seemed to brighten at the Axolotl's words, as though he was soaking in the high praise. "Well, sure! And they love me for it! Would any god do less for his worshipers? Would you?" His voice took on a bitter tone. "But I don't know of any god who'd stick his corner out for a nonbeliever—and that's what they'll be if I don't deliver on the paradise I promised. I take my party hosting seriously. I'll give them their paradise if it kills me. Or them. Or everyone, if that's what it takes."
He was no hero. He never had been. He didn't care about the countless souls he'd collected, only their worship.
He didn't want his people to be safe; he just wanted to be his people's savior.
If I can't fix it, no one can. The triangle hadn't meant no one else was able to. He'd meant no one else was allowed to. He'd rather die than let someone else fix his mistakes.
And he would. This was a mass suicide.
No. Worse than that—it was a mass murder-suicide.
"You already lost your world once," the Axolotl said desperately, "don't you remember what that was like?"
The triangle flinched back like the Axolotl had slapped him. The tank rumbled around them; the hissing whispers grew louder. "That's... none of your business! Stop talking about my world, you don't know the first thing about it—"
"I know how much you must miss it. I know how deeply losing your people must hurt." It must have hurt, why would he have clung to what was left of his world if it didn't, why would he be so determined to rebuild it exactly as it had been?
"My—my people are fine." His voice was choked. He squeezed his eye shut. "They're... all out at the party. Waiting for me. Don't talk about—"
"The people at the party are shapes you kidnapped from other dimensions." He was so stubbornly loyal to his chosen delusions. "Your people are dead. You know they are!"
"No!"
His scream was answered by howls outside the Axolotl's tank. Through the static, the Axolotl could pick up a sound repeated over and over. A word. Murderer, murderer, murderer.
"No! They aren't dead! I saved them!" He curled in on himself, hands pressed to his sides like it could block out the sounds. "I liberated them from their shallow lives! I gave them their freedom—"
"Then give them their freedom now!"
The triangle's breath hitched.
"If you want to die, you can die. There are ways to break a soul. I can help. But do it alone," the Axolotl pled. "I know you care about these people!" He had to believe it, he had to believe it, he had to. In spite of the evidence to the contrary, he had to. "If you won't let us help you, at least let us help them go home. Please. You need to let them go."
He clenched his tiny hands into fists; he looked so pained the Axolotl thought he might shatter.
In another timeline, a better timeline, he whispered, "How?" The word he should have said echoed around them, blending into the static whispers. It would be so easy to say.
But in this timeline, he asked, "You're some kind of lawyer or something, right?"
The Axolotl paused uneasily. "By... way of metaphor," he said. "We have trials and courts, but not the way mortals understand—"
"There are no laws in my kingdom," the king growled. "Get out of here. Now."
"But—"
"I said OUT!"
A force crashed into the time and space between time and space, shattering the Axolotl's tank, the glittery cotton candy nebulas' pinks and blues disrupted by a twisted geyser of colors—raw frothing stuff somewhere between matter and energy—and it flung the Axolotl away from the triangle like a wave flinging a fish from the ocean. The anxious background static whispers grew to a buzzing roar, 1000 decibel white noise. He spun dizzily through the cosmic miasma.
The first time he'd come in here—the first time the triangle had chased him out—he'd felt instinctively that he'd been in danger. He'd felt flames licking at his heels.
He knew now that that had been a mere warning.
"I might be in your dream, but your dream is in MY dream realm!" The triangle seemed to get larger without his size changing. Maybe it was the universe around him that was contracting. "And you've overstayed your welcome, Axolotl!"
The Axolotl had tumbled into the nightmarish eternal dance party. Shrieking overlapping music drowned out the buzzing whispers. Thousands of eyes stared at him in horror and thousands of voices gasped in disgust; and he realized that as many times as he'd seen them, he had never been in their two-dimensional field of view.
For all the thousands that stared at him, millions of corpses never stopped dancing.
One last time, the Axolotl turned to the triangle and pled, "Just give the hostages the option to leave if they want!"
"My people aren't hostages!"
"Then give them a choice!" He could feel dead hands grabbing at his skin and fins. He wasn't sure if they were trying to restrain him for their Magister Mentium, or cling to him for escape. He wasn't even sure whether they were the dead who still had their own souls, or the triangle's corpse puppets. "Anyone who wants to stay with you can!"
"Shut up!" The triangle boomed louder and louder and he grew larger and larger, until his voice and his eye seemed to fill the universe. He was shuddering with rage (with regret?)—it threatened to shake him apart, and the universe with him. "All of this is your fault! I'm—sick because of you!" In another reality he said insane; but the realities where he didn't closed up around the word and crushed it into silence. "You made me like this! You infected me!"
"With what?" He'd only spoken to the triangle once before today. He hadn't even entered his dimension.
"This—idea!" He didn't say what idea, not in this reality; but the words echoed in from another reality where he did. He screamed to drown the echoes out. "I was fine until I met you and you ruined everything!" Regret spilled out of his eye so thick it was almost palpable, energy like a river. It threatened to fill the interdimensional in-between space and drown them all. The Axolotl could taste the idea that had poisoned the triangle: the idea that everyone mattered. That everyone was worthy of a god's attention. And now, everyone was gone.
Bewildered, the Axolotl said, "You're not 'sick' to think that. It's the sanest idea you could have—"
"Get out!" The shriek echoed through infinity. "Get out! The dream realm is my domain and I am its king! I told you last time, I won't let you threaten my people!"
"I would never—"
"GET OUT!" Blue flames exploded out of the triangle; some of his nearest prisoners were incinerated as easily as tissue paper.
The Axolotl tried to shield himself; the flames consumed one of his forelegs and ate away at his dorsal fin.
He tore himself free of the desperate grasping shapes and swam from the triangle as fast as he could.
The triangle chased him; and, to the Axolotl's despair, as the center of Dimension Zero followed the triangle, the edge of reality pulled ever further away.
His flames licked at the Axolotl's tail, consuming the fin; he swam slower and slower.
As the triangle pursued the Axolotl, his attacks further destabilized the volatile dimension; wormholes formed where the fabric of reality folded and bunched in on itself and was pierced through. Light shot through the holes like a million disembodied sunbeams.
He saw one that led straight to the edge of Dimension Zero. He wriggled through.
"Where did you—?! HEY!" The dimension whirled dizzyingly as the triangle refocused on his evasive prey. "You think you can get away from me in my own realm?"
"Do you want me to get out or not?!"
"I want you DEAD!"
The Axolotl shouldn't have asked.
With a roar, the triangle clawed at him. A thick, sucking wave of gravity as dense as a black hole tore through the unstable miasma toward him. The triangle laughed sadistically.
With one last surge of energy, he paddled his tail hard enough to outpace the triangle and burst free of the dimension.
The ragged edges of Dimension Zero ripped further under the triangle's attack, but it dissipated in the third dimension.
The Axolotl sighed in relief—then flinched when the triangle crashed into the invisible barrier holding the cosmic foam in the space-between-space where Dimension Zero should have been. Like a piece of glitter sticking to a bubble, if glitter sticking to a bubble were the most violent force in the universe. "Get back here! I'll skin your freakish hide and make a tent outta it—!" He strained toward the Axolotl, threatening to drag the bubble along with him, like a particularly determined sled dog trying to pull a trailer home.
The Axolotl hastily backed out of range as nauseating plumes of color stretched outside their bounds again. Blue fire danced over the thin membrane between dimensions like a burning oil spill on an ocean. The plumes twisted into shapes almost like arms, hundreds of them, reaching toward him—
And froze. The triangle was staring past the Axolotl.
The Axolotl turned to look.
It was the most sublimely awful sight he'd ever seen. An impenetrable wall made up of gods, angels, sentient forces of nature—there were things here so transcendentally powerful that the Axolotl couldn't even see them; he only knew they were present by the perimeters of the space he couldn't bring his eyes to gaze upon and the terrifying awe he felt when he tried.
They were all armed.
All their weapons were pointed at the triangle.
Apparently, the ATTF had called in reinforcements.
A god that looked like a hologram projection, the light of its projector shining down on it from a higher dimension like a halo, thundered, "ADVANCE ANY FURTHER INTO REALITY, AND WE WILL BE FORCED TO SUBDUE YOU."
"You can't afford to!" the triangle crowed. "You'll knock your own universes down!"
"NOT ANYMORE."
The triangle's eye widened. The thousand arms of raw reality seized the jagged edges of the dimensions bordering the hole left when Dimension 2 Delta burned down, trying to crush them—and nothing happened. He slammed Dimension Zero against the bordering dimension, trying to crack open a larger opening, and then trying to simply shove the bordering dimensions aside—and nothing happened. Dimension Zero burned; but the surrounding first and second dimensions remained still. There was no creak and crack of snapping lines and shattering planes as the triangle tried to squeeze his bloated universe free. There was no glowing line of fire on the distant horizon.
The neighboring dimensions burned and blackened under the thousand hands; but they didn't dissolve to ash. The cinders got caught between the layers together as the dimensions splintered into layers, then multiplied—splintered and multiplied—splintered and multiplied—thicker and denser and harder—
Parallel universes. Every time the triangle touched them, they split into more timelines, reinforcing themselves. The Time Giant already reformatted the universes most closely adjacent to Dimension Zero. Not every universe—but just enough to form a cage.
The triangle gave up with a grunt of pain. He laughed in disbelief—and then anger. "You were the distraction?"
"No! I was supposed to talk you into cooperating with building the fireproof foundation! We agreed to only call in reinforcements if I couldn't persuade you!" He looked around for the Time Giant, but couldn't find her—nor any of the other gods he'd spoken to while dealing with this mess. Everyone, apparently, had been cleared out of the vicinity to make way for the god militia.
The only civilian left on the 3D side of the missing wall was the Axolotl—once again, stuck in the middle of a situation he had no business being involved in.
The triangle's eye widened further, further, white hot with fury. "Nothing's ever your fault, is it, frills?! Every time you ruin my life, it's all a big misunderstanding! You just keep talking your way out of trouble!" His eye opened wider and wider still. His eyelid unhinged. His mandibles split open and at the back of his eye socket was an infinitely dark esophagus. Sprouting in a ring around the triangle's eye like the petals of a grisly flower, piercing the membrane between the zeroth dimension and the third, were millions and millions of—
—teeth. Teeth longer than the spaces between stars and sharp enough to split an atom.
The Axolotl only barely managed to paddle back out of their range before they snapped at where he had been. A couple of the higher gods caught him, holding his sides protectively. His skin sizzled with holy electricity.
The god militia drew back from the gnashing fangs, then readied their own weapons: spears, guns, swords, a wider array of divine and holy weaponry than the Axolotl had ever seen. The projection leading the militia called, "DON'T LET HIM MAKE IT PAST THE FIREPROOF BARRIER."
"Afraid I'll start breaking things again?" The fangs snapped tauntingly. "Hey—how fast do you think I can find the load-bearing dimensions?"
The Axolotl shook off the gods and swam back toward Dimension Zero. "Stop!"
"HOLD FIRE!" The projected god commanded, "OUT OF THE WAY, AXOLOTL. THE MULTIVERSE'S SAFETY IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE."
He knew it was. The leader of the militia was so powerful that resisting a direct order made the Axolotl dizzy—but he did resist. He shouted at the triangle, "You can't fight off every god in the multiverse! This is suicide!" He realized too late that that probably wasn't as discouraging as he'd intended it to be.
"So what?! There's no way for me to win! Get executed for god crimes or get erased when the dimension collapses—"
"Those aren't your only choices!" The Axolotl could see the fangs slowly, slowly curling up in his peripheral vision, and pretended he didn't. "It's not too late for you to stand down—!"
"I can't!" A wave of fire blazed up the teeth of the Dream Realm. He held up a fist, and it was far too small for any of the gods, so mighty and large, to see what he held; but the Axolotl knew. "If I don't get a happy ending, why shouldn't I burn the rest of you down with me?! At least I'll accomplish one thing before I go!" His hand began glowing as energy began gathering around the tiny seed of a big bang.
"Do you want your worshipers to remember you as a monster in their last moments?!"
"Better a monster than a LOSER!" His laugh was a strained subsonic roar. "Are fame and infamy really that different?! At least they'll be thinking about me at the end!"
"It would make you a terrible party host!"
The Axolotl didn't know what had possessed him to say that. Apparently the triangle didn't know what to make of it either, because he froze, giving the Axolotl a wide-eyed blank stare.
But it worked. He snapped out of his rage. The light gathering around the remains of Dimension 2 Delta went dark. For a moment, he was frozen, giving the Axolotl a wide-eyed blank stare; and then he laughed again, just as strained, much weaker. The borders of Dimension Zero shuddered with his laughter. "Fair enough!" The appendages stretching out into the third dimension lost definition. "Fair enough." He glowered tiredly at the god militia—but raised his hands in surrender. Both his palms were empty.
The trembling fangs dissolved as they retracted. The whole paradoxical mass sagged sluggishly back into the crawlspace underneath reality.
One by one, the god militia slowly lowered their weapons.
The Axolotl's heart was still hammering in his chest; and only then did it register that he'd nearly been eaten by an entire dimension.
Where had his power come from? How had the triangle done all this—made his whole dimension vanish without a trace, shoved an entire plane inside a point, gained complete control over it all...
He really did have complete control over the entire universe that had formed inside Dimension Zero—didn't he?
And to control an entire universe, he needed to have an entire universe's worth of energy.
Dimension 2 Delta had been an entire universe. And now—all of its energy was in Dimension Zero.
With the triangle.
As he watched the triangle wincing in pain as the Dream Realm sank back into place, as though the triangle could feel the way the edges of the neighboring dimensions dug into the frothing chaos, the Axolotl whispered, "Oh, no. What have you done?"
His power had come from his own universe. He had devoured it. He'd made it part of him.
All that energy wasn't stored inside the triangle's body—but the Axolotl had been wrong to think that the triangle was the body in the first place. The triangle was only the face: the eye, the mouth, the mind. The part of the Dream Realm that could speak.
The Dream Realm was the anglerfish—and the triangle was its pretty golden glowing lure. They were all one monster.
The triangle was slumped in defeat, but still he shot the Axolotl a tired glare. The hissing static whispers rose up around him again, spilling out of the Dream Realm. (The whispers, too, were a part of the triangle.) "Who are you to judge," he muttered. "You weren't there."
No, he wasn't. He'd gotten here too late.
Behind the Axolotl, the god projection said curtly, "APPREHEND THE TRIANGLE WHILE HE'S COMPLIANT."
The Axolotl whirled around, eyes glowing with rage. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!" The gods who had started moving toward Dimension Zero froze again.
"HE'S A THREAT TO THE MULTIVERSE!"
"He stood down!"
"HE'S PROVEN WILLING TO DESTROY REALITY. HE COULD EASILY CHOOSE TO AGAIN." The higher dimensional projector turned to project straight at the Axolotl, dazzling him even through his shut eyes, shining straight into his brain. "STAND. ASIDE."
"No." The Axolotl tensed his muscles against the compulsion to obey. "He was a threat to the multiverse. Once the last walls are closed over the crawlspace, he won't be anymore. If he doesn't make a move between now and then, you have no grounds to pursue him." It was a little easier the second time to resist the higher god's command. "So if you do follow him out of the third dimension to capture him, you're trespassing in a new god's sovereign territory to make an illegal arrest outside your jurisdiction!"
"HE'S MASSACRED TEN DIMENSIONS AND TRIED TO DESTROY MORE. THERE ISN'T A COURT IN REALITY THAT WOULD CONSIDER PURSUING HIM UNJUSTIFIED."
"I know a few."
"YOU'RE DEFENDING A DIVINE MENACE. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
He quietly kissed his career prospects goodbye as he watched himself do the stupidest thing he'd ever done. "I'm the Axolotl," said the Axolotl, "and I'm his lawyer!"
####
(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 8 of a 9 part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting the last chapter next week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl deal with having gotten his heart broken by this sweet little triangle who actually isn't sweet.
It's ALSO chapter 68 of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.
If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: this was The Big One, gang. And now I expect for the next several months I'm gonna get comments from y'all rereading earlier chapters going HOLD ON WAS THIS LINE FORESHADOWING THAT LITERALLY THE ENTIRE NIGHTMARE REALM IS PART OF BILL? And the answer is: yes. yes it was. Looking forward to hearing y'all's thoughts!! 💕
also this was THE absolute hardest chapter to write, goddamn.)
#the axolotl#gravity falls axolotl#bill cipher#euclydia#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher#(this chapter is. incredibly unpolished. So if you're like 'hey was this sentence supposed to be unreadable—' no it wasn't. please tell me.
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chicken noodle soup.
pairing: mattheo riddle x reader
song inspiration: is it really so strange? by the smiths
author's note: just a soft fluffy comfort fic cause i've been thinking about matty lately and i needed cheering up after the end of kwaf. let's all laugh at the fact that i set a 1k limit on this fic only to fail miserably lmao 😭
Mattheo Riddle was not a fan of Mondays.
Most of the time, Mattheo spent the first day of the week nursing a hangover and getting higher than a hippogriff at the Astronomy Tower with his friends to achieve equilibrium. The only thing he looked forward to every week was the prospect of riling you up in class. To be fair, it didn’t take much to get under your skin. Being himself seemed to do the trick.
As he walked through the castle halls, Mattheo smiled to himself as he plotted out all the different ways he could provoke you on this dreadful day. For some sick and twisted reason, he reveled in the fact that only he could manage to rouse such a violent reaction out of you. There was something satisfying about the way your eyes blazed, your rosy cheeks tinged with heat as you told him off.
Maybe he'd flirt with you today. Tell you how good you looked in your short little skirt. Watch as you turned as red as the tie around your neck. His pretty little Gryffindor good girl. In Mattheo's mind, you were his to tease and taunt.
With his usual swagger, Mattheo sauntered into Advanced Transfiguration fully prepared to test out his new tactics on his nemesis, but you were nowhere to be found.
At first, he figured that you were just running late. Throughout the duration of your rivalry, Mattheo had never once witnessed you skip class. He would’ve bet his entire cigarette supply that you’ve had perfect attendance since first year. When Professor McGonagall started the lesson and you were still missing in action, Mattheo was understandably concerned.
The uneasy feeling in his stomach didn’t mean that he was worried about you though. This was purely about mutual benefit. Mattheo couldn’t very well have his Transfigurations partner skipping out on lessons. Even though he regularly did so himself. But still, that was different. Everyone knew he was a delinquent. You, on the other hand, were anything but. Until today, you’ve probably never missed a class in your life.
Mattheo waited. Surprisingly, the two of you had the majority of your classes together. All of which dragged more than usual since you weren’t there to yell at him for dicking around. When you still hadn't turned up for Charms or Herbology, he became convinced that something was horribly wrong. Missing one lesson was alarming, but three in a row? That was entirely out of character for you.
When Professor Sprout finally dismissed the class, Mattheo sauntered over to Granger’s desk. As always, she was surrounded by her two dimwit friends who immediately tensed the second he loomed near. Potter and Weasley shot him matching menacing glares, but Mattheo ignored them entirely.
“Granger,” he drawled, leaning against the wooden desk. “Care to tell me where my partner’s been all day?”
The Gryffindor girl appeared a bit perturbed by the question. “Why do you want to know where Y/N is?”
Mattheo sighed in exasperation and produced the set of notes he’d taken during class. A first for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually listened to an entire lesson, let alone take notes, but he knew that you would have a million questions for him when you returned. The notes were his way of saving himself from your relentless interrogation.
“Figured the little know-it-all would want my notes.”
“Y/N is feeling a bit under the weather,” Hermione said cautiously. “I can take the notes to her if you’d like.”
“No.” Mattheo declared rather suddenly. He cleared his throat and attempted to smooth over the sharp response. “No, McGonagall tasked me with it. I don’t want her docking points from my house when she finds out that you did my dirty work for me.”
Hermione raised a brow. “Sure.” The quirk of her mouth told Mattheo that she wasn’t convinced by his excuse. “Well, Y/N is resting up in the tower if you fancy a visit.”
After a quick detour to the kitchens, Mattheo made his way over to Gryffindor tower. It was surprisingly easy to gain access to the lion’s den. He simply threatened a third year to let him in and got on with it. They truly needed to upgrade their security measures. One glare was all it took for Creevey to crumble and cave.
With a satisfied smirk, Mattheo walked past the gaudy common room. For Salazar's sake, hadn't the Gryffindors ever heard of subtlety? The decor consisted solely of crimson and gold and the furnishings looked like something out of that muggle show his nan loved to watch—Antiques Roadshow. Antique was right. The worn out couch that he passed looked older than him.
Merlin, now he was starting to sound like Malfoy. Mattheo hurried along before he caught the urge to fold origami notes and chuck it at Potter's head. Fortunately for him, the place was devoid of the Chosen One or anyone for that matter.
By now, his fellow classmates were all in the Great Hall eating dinner, which he was thankful for. It was no secret that Mattheo’s presence wouldn’t be welcome here and he wasn’t really in the mood to fight his way through the Gryffindors just to deliver a note from the kindness of his black heart. Thank Salazar that there wasn’t a single soul in the tower to bicker with. Until he reached your dorm, of course.
The relationship between the two of you was volatile to say the least. Despite Mattheo’s reputation, you weren’t shy about telling him off. When you were first assigned as partners, Mattheo had fully intended to let you do all the work while he skipped class to smoke, but he quickly realized that this would not be the case. You hunted him down at his hideout in the Astronomy Tower and discovered him blissfully sharing some premium grade mirthroot with Theo and Draco. When you found him, you were so angry that you dragged him by the ear all the way to the library, much to the amusement of his friends. Needless to say, Mattheo never missed a study session again.
In a way, Mattheo admired you for it. Aside from his friends, everyone in the castle feared him. It was sort of refreshing to have someone call him out on his shit. Especially if that someone was a funny, feisty, ferocious Gryffindor who he enjoyed pestering every chance that he got. Mattheo always did have a penchant for girls with an attitude problem.
Even as he knocked on your door, the Slytherin boy couldn’t help but chuckle to himself when he heard you grumbling from the other side.
“Oh, for Godric’s fucking sake, what is it now?”
The door swung open, revealing a very pissed off Y/N. Clad in striped pajamas and fuzzy bunny slippers, you placed a hand on your hip and frowned. Even in the throes of sickness, you still somehow managed to inject venom in your glare. Mattheo grinned like an idiot.
“Nice slippers, princess.”
You huffed, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Riddle?”
“To make sure my partner doesn’t slack.” He waved his set of notes around. “Don’t think your sickness excuses you from studying.”
“This is payback for making you revise with me after you fell off your broom and broke your arm, isn’t it?”
Mattheo cringed as he recalled the quidditch accident that sent him to the infirmary for a week. In true Y/N fashion, you were sitting by his bedside with a stack of books in your lap the second he woke up. Madam Pomfrey hadn't even put his arm in a sling yet before you were drilling him on proper spell enunciation and wand movements.
“You terrorized the infirmary with your mnemonics,” Mattheo said with a dramatic sigh. “It’s my turn now. This is sweet revenge, Y/N.”
You squinted at his barely legible handwriting. “I’m just surprised you took your head out of your arse long enough to take notes.”
“Glad to see that illness hasn’t lessened your bite. If anything, those teeth seem a little sharper than usual.” He leaned against the doorframe and smiled down at you. “Feeling a bit feral, princess?”
“Why don’t you come a little closer and find out?” you quipped, baring your teeth at the aggravating boy.
The gesture appeared intimidating for a full second until you sniffled and launched into a coughing fit, which made Mattheo frown.
“Are you alright?”
“Of course I am. I regularly cough my lungs out on nosy Slytherins whose sole purpose of existence is to make my life a living hell.”
He pressed the back of his hand against your forehead. The way his brow furrowed strangely resembled concern. Mattheo trained his chocolate brown eyes on you, examining the rosiness of your cheeks and the slight pinch of discomfort in your features.
"You're burning up." Mattheo's hand dropped from your forehead to the side of your neck. He pressed his fingers against your pulse point, feeling the erratic beating of your heart underneath his touch. It was strangely intimate. "You have an elevated heart rate."
You flushed and swatted his hand away. "Well, yes. That usually happens when one is ill."
"Come on, you should sit down."
"Don't tell me what to do, Riddle."
Mattheo rolled his eyes before dragging you by the elbow. Your protests fell on deaf ears as he barged his way into your dorm and walked you over to the bed. You watched as he pulled up a chair next to you before rifling through the contents of his backpack. Out of the sordid mess of his belongings, Mattheo produced a small container of soup. With a flick of his wand, he conjured a spoon.
“Here, have some of this. It should help.”
As soon as he pried the lid open, the heavenly smell of chicken noodle soup filled your senses. Mattheo scooped up an equal amount of soup and noodle and blew on it to cool it down before tilting it towards you. The sight of him offering you food like you were some helpless toddler was only slightly insulting. You swore to Godric that if Mattheo started making airplane sounds, you’d strangle the bloody twat.
���I can feed myself, you know.”
“Just eat the damn soup, Y/N.”
You rolled your eyes in return, but obliged nonetheless. Despite the source, you could never resist comfort food.
“Chicken noodle soup?”
As soon as you tasted it, you knew that it wasn’t just soup. It was your favorite soup. The very same one that Winky made every third Wednesday of the month. You knew because you looked forward to it every time. It was even marked on your calendar. That’s how much you liked it.
Mattheo nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, I know it’s your favorite so I bribed Winky to make some.”
You furrowed your brows in confusion. “How do you know it’s my favorite?”
For once in his life, Mattheo looked utterly uncomfortable. He averted his gaze and busied himself by stirring through the carrots and celery. “You, uh, mentioned it in class once.”
You couldn’t help but smile. Maybe it was the fever talking, but you thought that was sweet. “You remembered that?”
Mattheo looked up, a stray curl kissing the tops of his cheekbones as he met your gaze. The shy smile on his face was alarmingly endearing. Sometimes when you looked at those angelic curls and stupid big, brown eyes, you forgot that you were supposed to loathe him. “Of course. It’s my favorite too.”
You chuckled, sniffling a little. “It’s like a hug in a cup, right?”
The curly headed boy nodded. “It totally is.”
After you finished the soup, you expected Mattheo to take his leave. Instead, he inspected the vials of potions laying out on your night stand. He read through every label, frowning a little.
“You should really have some pepperup potion in here.” Mattheo remarked as he arranged the vials one by one. “Are you sure this dose is potent enough? Maybe you should ask them to brew something stronger.”
“Pomfrey prescribed them herself. No offense, but I think I’ll take her years of healing experience over your expert opinion.” Mattheo gasped rather dramatically, which made you chuckle. “As much as I appreciate the notes and the soup, I don't think it's wise for you to stick around. I’m feeling a bit better, but I might still be contagious.”
Mattheo shrugged. “It’s alright, I’m not scared of a little cold. Besides, I still have to go over the Transfiguration assignment with you.”
“Aren’t you worried that I’ll get you sick?”
“Not really,” he said, waving off your concern. “I know you’re going to pester me about everything you missed in class, so I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone.”
To your surprise, Mattheo’s notes were extremely detailed. It was a bit hard to read given his boyish scrawl, but with a little help in translation, you were making great progress in becoming fluent in Riddle. The more Mattheo explained the concepts and ideas that were discussed in each class, the more baffled you were. You've always known that he was smarter than he let on, but this was borderline impressive.
“How do you know all of that?”
“I asked.”
“You asked?” Mattheo stared blankly at your surprised expression. “You never ask questions in class.”
“I never had to since you're always there interrogating the professor like the little know-it-all that you are. Thanks to your absence, I had to fill your role in class today.”
You grinned. It grew wider and wider, spreading until your cheeks hurt. Mattheo glared at your joyous expression. “What? What’s that shit eating little grin for?”
“You missed me.”
Color flooded Mattheo’s cheeks. You were surprised to find how well crimson suited him. It was almost the exact shade of your house colors. “Don’t be ridiculous—”
“Riddle, you asked questions in class. You took notes for me. You brought me chicken noodle soup." Mattheo flushed as you pointed out the obvious. "You totally missed me.”
“If you tell anyone, I’ll hex you.”
“Admit it, Mattheo. Your day was utterly dull without me.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes, sighing in defeat. “Fine, you’ve got me. I was bored out of my mind without you around. How else am I supposed to pass the time if you’re not there for me to argue with?”
“There’s plenty of other people in the castle that you could bicker with.”
“Yeah, but they’re not you.”
He seemed a little shocked by his own statement, but he didn't try to retract it. In fact, Mattheo almost seemed resigned to it.
“Careful, Riddle. It almost sounds like you have a crush on me.”
“I’d have to be a bloody idiot to fall for a girl who absolutely despises me.”
“That wasn’t a denial, you know.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose like the very idea of it vexed him, but you caught the little smile he hid beneath his fingers. Mattheo snatched the notes from your hands. “Focus on the lesson, will you?” He grimaced as soon as the words left his mouth. “I can’t believe I’ve just said that. Look at what you’re doing to me, Y/N.”
“You’ll live, Riddle.” You poked a section of his notes that you hadn’t quite deciphered. “Now what in the bloody hell is the Gobstopper Ruffian?”
“The Goblin Rebellion. Merlin, my handwriting isn't that bad.”
“Are you kidding? A kindergartner writes more legibly than this.”
The hours passed while you bickered and bantered. You hated to admit it, but you missed arguing with him too. Laying in bed all day had you positively bored, but yet time passed within the blink of an eye as you went back and forth with Mattheo. Somewhere between discussing the possibility of Longbottom running an underground exotic plant ring and arguing over the best Smiths song, the sun had set over the horizon. Mattheo rubbed his eyes and yawned.
“You look knackered, Riddle,” you teased, patting the spot beside you. “Do you want to lie down for a bit?”
Chocolate brown eyes widened at you. “Lie down? With you? On your bed?”
“Yes, that’s typically how people do it.” You smirked as he shot you an apprehensive look. “Unless you’re too scared.”’
Never one to back down from a challenge, Mattheo lifted the covers and gestured for you to make room. “Scoot over, then.”
The jest seemed to have backfired on you because now Mattheo was crawling into bed and making himself completely at home. All the apprehension from earlier melted as he pulled you against him, his chest pressed against your back as he nuzzled into the crook of your shoulder. You stifled a giggle as Mattheo released a satisfied little sigh.
Mattheo wrapped his arms around you until you were covered in the scent of amber, cinnamon, and leather. You never expected to unearth the fact that Mattheo Riddle was a great cuddler, but yet here you were, reaping the benefits of this newfound revelation. He slipped his fingers through yours and nuzzled closer.
"Who would've known that Mattheo Riddle was such a great cuddler?"
"If you tell anyone—"
"You'll hex me. Put a curse on my family. Set my possessions on fire. Yes, I know, Riddle. You keep threatening me, but you never follow through. I'm starting to think that you're losing your touch."
Mattheo squeezed your hip before twining your legs together. "I wouldn't test me, Y/N. You're in a very vulnerable position right now."
You chuckled as he scooted even closer. "Maybe, but you won't do anything."
"Why's that, princess?"
"You like me too much," you retorted, chuckling as Mattheo buried his face in your hair. "One day without me and you're already a needy mess."
"You infuriate me," Mattheo whispered against your ear. "But you're also the best part of my day. I couldn't imagine fighting with anyone else but you, my dear nemesis."
"I totally loathe you, Mattheo Riddle."
He chuckled as you snuggled into him. "I loathe you too, Y/N Y/L/N."
The irony of the statement contrasted with how tangled up you were wasn't lost on you. For two people who supposedly hated each other, cuddling with your enemy had never felt so right. The steady beat of Mattheo's heart lulled you towards sleep. You were slowly succumbing to its hypnotic lullaby until Mattheo's voice broke through the silence.
“Y/N?” He murmured against your hair.
You shifted, your eyes feeling heavy as his warmth enveloped you. “Hmm?”
Mattheo’s voice was low and gravelly, flowing like honey in your ears. “This is nice.”
You smiled against the pillow, staring at your intertwined fingers. “Better than chicken noodle soup?”
You felt him grin against your skin before he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on your temple. “Way better than soup.”
TAGLIST
@annaisabookworm @bubybubsters @criesinlies @niktwazny303 @therealallisonspear @athenalikethegoddess @clairesjointshurt @vixzwrites @elle4404
#a cuddle from him could reset my brain chemistry#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo riddle fluff
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friendly competition | alexia putellas x mapi león x reader 🔞
Your best friends Alexia and Mapi were always naturally competitive, finding every opportunity to one up each other. You just never thought pleasuring you would be their next competition.
tags / warnings: MINORS DNI, strap r!receiving, fingering r!receiving, cunnilingus r!receiving, lots of making out and fondling, minimal usage of slut, pet names, overstimulation, drunk sex, just some nice friendly competition, unedited and no proofreading done at all so there will be some errors | wc: 4k+
masterlist | please do not repost or plagiarize.
After breaking up with your boyfriend of 5 years, your best friends from college decided that they would make it their agenda to make you happy.
"Mapi, enough with the drinks, she's going to throw up if you keep making her drunk." Alexia scolded the tattooed girl who was mixing you a suspicious cocktail of Jäger and soda.
Mapi scoffed. "She's gonna end up getting sick first cause of all the sweets you're feeding her."
Alexia rolled her eyes at Mapi.
Mapi and Alexia were competitive ever since you first met as roommates for college. They didn't like to admit it but there was always something between the two of them — a sense of friendly competition. It started off with just football but it trickled down to other things — like grades in school and party games.
At some point, the two even started a competition of who could get the most girl's numbers at a college party, much to your dismay. You hated being in between all of it; you weren't always a fan of how competitive and intense they could be.
But today, it was working in your favor because today, their competition was on who could make you feel better faster.
"Actually, I don't want anything to drink or eat right now." You groaned, rubbing your tummy. You were starting to feel full and tipsy. "I'd kill to get my feet massaged right now though."
"Got it," Alexia said, immediately getting up from the couch to settle on the floor and take one of your feet.
Mapi furrowed her eyebrows. "Don't let Alexia do it. She just presses random spots and thinks that's good enough."
The two bantered, both obviously tipsy as well. You chuckled and shook your head. "How do you two even know who gives the better foot rubs? You two join some weird foot massaging tournament?”
Mapi smirked as she slinked beside Alexia, grabbing your other foot. "We both liked the same girl before and we both wanted to impress her and that somehow ended up kinda like this." She recounted.
You chuckled and shook your head at the anecdote. There wasn't a single thing your two best friends did not compete over. You were just glad it was going in your favor today.
You moaned out in delight as you felt them both try hard to massage your feet. "Mmm, that's good." You laid your head back, resting it on the couch cushion.
"Well, who's better?" Alexia asked impatiently.
You sighed. "You've been massaging me for 3 seconds and you already want me to decide already. Just keep at it."
The two laughed; they knew you were taking advantage of their competitiveness but fuck it, you were just broken up with. The least you can get off it was a foot massage.
"So, be for real, are you still upset about him?" Mapi asked, tilting her head to the side.
You hummed to think. "Yes... and no." You responded honestly. "Yes because we were together for a really long time and I just got used to being around him. He kind of became part of my life ritual so it will be hard to move past that."
"And no because?" Alexia pressed, looking at you with a curious look.
"Also no because these past years, I've always felt like the spark completely died out." You said honestly, taking a deep breath. "I hate him for cheating on me and leaving me for some random chick he met on Call of Duty but part of me blames myself. I rarely make out with him. We only ever have sex on his birthday or when he begs for it extra, extra hard. I just wasn't a good girlfriend physically and I guess, men need that physical aspect of a relationship."
You pressed a hand on your forehead as you sighed deeply. "At least I don't have to force myself to fake an orgasm anymore while having to choke down my own vomit." You said, shaking your head at the memory of the sweaty man grunting on top of you. Why did I even try to put up with that?
The two laughed at your candidness which was mostly brought by your inebriation. "Geez, I didn't know you two were having issues like that." Alexia commented with an amused expression."You guys always looked happy."
"I saw it coming. If you're observant enough, you could see they were mostly just friends these past years. The whole romance aspect died down basically during the second year of college." Mapi interjected. "You might not have noticed it much, Ale. Considering that you’re not that observant."
Alexia looked offended. "Excuse me? If anything, I'm more observant than you are. I literally am the best listener while you mostly just yap." She argued.
You grained, feeling your head throb with the banter. “Can you guys cut it out for a moment? I just want a good foot massage and not have to hear you two bicker about who's better at what."
The two continued to massage your feet, glancing at each other to see how well the other was doing. You rolled your eyes. I really got a bunch of childish losers for my best friends, you thought.
"Mmm," You said out loud as you felt Mapi press against a pressure point with the pad of her fingers. "Oh... that feels really good."
Mapi smiled. Alexia rolled her eyes but decided to emulate Mapi and press against the same pressure point on the opposite foot.
You moaned out. "Ohhh, that feels really good. Mmm." You closed my eyes, pressing your hands flat on the surface beside you.
"This massage is giving me more pleasure than all the sex I had with him all those years combined. I can't believe a foot massage may give me my first orgasm." You attempted a joke but realized no one was chuckling with you. You blinked your eyes open to see Alexia and Mapi looking at each other knowingly.
You cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
The two had a playful smirk that irked you and left you feeling uneasy. You felt like you were being purposefully left out of an inside joke.
"Whaaaaat? Tell me."
"I don't even know if Alexia is thinking the same thing as me." Mapi shrugged with a small smile and a playful look on her face. She glanced at Alexia who was chuckling as she shook her head.
After a pause of contemplation, Alexia leaned in to whisper something in Mapi's ear, making her chuckle. "Okay, never mind, we were thinking the same thing." Mapi confirmed, not exactly shocked that they were thinking alike.
You groaned. "Can you just tell me? This is frustrating."
The two best friends looked at each other carefully, slowing down on their foot massaging. Alexia bit her lip before saying out loud. "We wanna see who can pleasure you more." Her tone was calculated but firm.
"Pleasure?" You furrowed your eyebrows.
Mapi nodded. "Yeah, we wanna see which one of us can fuck you better." She said more bluntly.
You widened my eyes. "Are you guys insane?" You shouted, jolting back and taking back your feet away from them. You tucked them into an indian sit."You guys better be fucking around."
The two of them were quiet and unresponsive which made you a bit nervous. Were they actually being serious?
"Guys, don't fuck around with me please. I don't like it." You whined, feeling teased by your best friends. "It's really not funny."
"To be honest... Alexia and I have been interested in you since college." Mapi responded. "We just kept a healthy distance since, well, you had a boyfriend."
You turned your attention to Alexia who nodded. "Yeah, I've wanted to bend you over and go crazy ever since I saw you undress in front of me during our first night at our dorm." Her voice was too confident and loud, obviously tipsy but it still sounded honest.
You fell speechless, blinking and trying to process what the two had just confessed. Mapi stood up and leaned over you on the couch, propping her hand beside you. "Come on, don't tell us you haven't thought of us like that before?" She asked with a suggestive tone.
You gulped. You've always known your best friends were attractive; there was a good reason for them to be so popular amongst girls. All of your friends in college basically were always asking about at least one of them. It was no question that they were both hot and had such strong sex appeal in such different ways. But, you didn't really think about it until now...
Before you could say anything, Mapi's lips found its way to your neck. You gasped as you felt her kiss the side of your neck then slowly made her way to your jaw. You tensed up at first but immediately felt your eyes flutter.
"Uh," You moaned as you let her suck on your neck. "Mapi, wait."
She pulled away. "Tell me stop if you don't want me to go on." She said before leaning in again to kiss your neck but with more force this time. You knew you should have stopped her but it just felt too damn good. You moaned out when you felt her nibble at a sensitive part of your collarbones. All hesitation melted away and you wrapped your arms around her and let her devour you.
"Hey, I want a turn too." You opened your eyes to see Alexia standing, towering over the two of you. You don't know what came over you but you used your left hand to grab her hand and pull her close to you.
Mapi moved over to sit on your right and to kiss that side of my neck while moving her hands to gently cup your clothed breast as Alexia leaned over you, capturing your lips with hers.
You moaned, tasting the cocktail taste lingering in her tongue as it skillfully entered your mouth. Unlike kissing your ex-boyfriend, you didn't feel like puking yourself. You wanted to kiss Alexia deeper, taste more of her, and have her hands in your body. Her tongue and lips were already against yours but you wanted to be closer. You needed her inside you, craving to be filled by your best friend's fingers.
You yelped as you felt Mapi suddenly squeeze your chest hard with her hand.
"Alexia, don't hog her." She complained.
Alexia broke your kiss. "Not my fault she wants me more," She teased as she went back to kissing you.
You pulled away after a few lip locks, deciding you also wanted a taste of Mapi. You turned your head to her, grabbing her jaw and planting your eager lips on her.
Mapi was rougher. She liked to bite and nibble. Her tongue expertly slithering into your mouth with so much fervor that you were already practically moaning from her kisses. Mapi scooped you up from her side and guided you so you ended up straddling her lap as she kissed you deeply.
You felt her hands slithering under your shirt and then under your bra. You gasped in between her kisses as she took your nipples between her fingers, pinching and twirling them. You couldn't help but grind yourself against her lap as she kissed and fondled you.
"Mapi, now, you're the one being selfish." Alexia complained.
Mapi stopped kissing you. She looked into your eyes with darkened lust before looking at Alexia and nodding. Alexia took you off of Mapi's lap before sitting down on the spot beside her. She emulated Mapi's position, propping you on top of her.
Alexia hurriedly took off your shirt and your bra. She bit her lip as she looked at your breasts. "If I had known you had boobs as cute as this, I would have ravaged you earlier." She said as she looked hungrily at your bare chest.
Before you could roll your eyes or make a snide remark, her mouth captured your right nipple. She alternated between sucking and using her tongue to flick against it. Her other hand started with the other nipple, pinching and flicking before slowly moving down to rub your core from the outside.
You just wanted so badly for her to rip off your shorts and undies but Alexia just kept teasing you by rubbing on the outside, alternating from grazing your core to running her hands along your inner thigh.
You broke our kiss. "Ale, Ale, I want it inside, please."
Alexia looked smug. "I thought you didn't want us to pleasure you, huh?"
You groaned as you felt her draw painstakingly slow circles around your core. "Quit it. I want it now."
"Then you'll get it."
Alexia kissed you briefly before making you stand up so she could take off your bottoms. The two looked like hungry animals with the way they stared at you undress, ready to pounce and devour every bit of flesh on you. It left you shivering and wanting them more.
Alexia gestured for you to sit down on her lap, facing the opposite direction. You followed suit, turning to have your back facing her before sitting on her lap. She grabbed your breasts, moving your body closer to her torso before parting your legs. You felt exposed this way. You were spread open for Alexia to touch and Mapi to watch.
You couldn't see Alexia but you could hear her curse under her breath as her hands made its way from your inner thigh to your dripping wet core.
"Cariño, look how wet you are for us." She said as she slowly rubbed your clit. Mapi licked her lips as she watched Alexia tease her fingers around your entrance, feeling all the folds and contours of your core.
You moaned as you felt the tips of Alexia's fingers draw wide circles around your entire core, purposefully avoiding your clit. You tried to grind against her for more but her other hand was holding your hip steady.
Mapi excused herself to go to the next room and before you could ask why, Alexia's fingers found their way to your throbbing clit and began rubbing it in circles. You moaned out.
You were wriggling quite a bit due to the sudden bouts of pressure going through your body but Alexia was able to hold you steady with her hands. "Oh, our little slut likes getting her clit played with?" Alexia teased, suddenly upping the dirty talk which just made you feel more turned on.
You ignored her teasing and continued to focus on the way her hands touched you. "Alexia, please," You moaned. "I want you."
"Mmm," She hummed as if to think. "I'll do it if you admit you're a slut for me."
You knitted your eyebrows together. "Alexia..."
"Say it."
"Fuck," You closed your eyes shut as you felt her fingers graze against the sensitive spot of your clit. Alexia had felt you react to it and decided to tease you by playfully flicking her fingers up and down the sensitive spot. "Alexia, I'm your slut."
"Good girl." Alexia spared no time before inserting two fingers in your cunt. Given her limited position, she was mostly curling her fingers instead of thrusting in and out which just made you moan out louder each time she grazed and hit against the most sensitive areas.
"You sound so good, cariño." Alexia grunted in your ear. "I think you're wet enough to take another."
Without much time to process her statement, she inserted a third finger inside you, eliciting a loud gasp. You gyrated your hips against Alexia's hand as she continued to fuck you. The three fingers inside you were stretching you out so much and yet it felt so satisfying feeling so full like that.
You were just about to reach orgasm when Mapi re-entered the room. "My turn, Alexia." She ordered.
Alexia removed her fingers from inside you abruptly. You groaned and were about to complain. But, when you opened your eyes, you saw that Mapi has now stripped completely except for a black sports bra and a strap-on wrapped around her waist with a black harness. She had her dyed blonde hair tied up in a sleek bun, showing just how serious she was about this.
"I knew you had it with you." Alexia responded with a chuckle. "That's why I stretched her out nice and good for you. Consider it a thank you for letting me play with her cute little pussy first."
Mapi chuckled as she positioned herself in front of you. "Did Alexia make you feel good, princesa?"
You bit your lip and nodded as you watched her put lube on to the translucent silicone member attached to her.
"Well, if Alexia made you feel good, I'll make you feel better." She said with a playful tone
Alexia, who was still underneath you, chuckled at the statement but held your thighs steadily apart for Mapi, spreading them apart to make sure you were completely exposed.
Mapi slowly positioned her hips to align the silicone member in front of your cunt. Alexia took one of her hands off your leg and continued to rub your clit. You felt incredibly exposed as you moaned out, feeling your cunt grow wetter.
Mapi slowly entered. You gasped as she slowly thrusted the entire length inside, gaping you wide open. Alexia kept rubbing your core to help you take Mapi's entire length better.
"Fuck, look at that pretty pussy stretch wide around my dick." Mapi commented before tucking her lower lip between her teeth.
After a few precautionary thrusts, Mapi increased her pace. She thrust in and out of, daring to thrust out the entire length up to the head before slamming back inside of you. Alexia was still rubbing you steadily while kissing your neck and playing with your breast.
You felt overstimulated in all your parts with Mapi filling you up entirely, Alexia touching you everywhere else and the warmth of both their bodies pressed against you.
"I-I'm almost there." You said in between shaky moans. "Ale, Mapi, faster please."
The two didn't hesitate and obeyed immediately. You felt the warmth fill your entirety. Your arms, legs and even your torso began shaking with an orgasm threatening to erupt. You were moaning out so loud that you were sure you were getting a strongly worded notice from the landlord about complaints from the neighbors the next day
"Mapi!" You moaned as Mapi slammed her entirety into you.
With a few more intense thrusts, you were completely unraveled. Ripples of pleasure passed through your body as you unraveled into an orgasm.
Your best friends helped ride out your orgasm before fully stopping. Mapi pulled out before grabbing your face and kissing you sloppily as you both tried to catch your breaths.
"Woah." It was all you could say.
You scooted off of Alexia's lap and rested on the space beside her, melting into a puddle of pleasure and exhaustion.
"Uh, Mapi, why did you have to wear her out?" Alexia complained. "I wasn't done with her yet."
Mapi smiled smugly. "Look at her. How can I resist? You try lusting over her for years."
"Estúpida, we're on the same boat." Alexia smacked Mapi's arm. "I wanted her for just as long."
Alexia leaned in closer to you, planting gentle kisses on your cheek before whispering. "Are you all rested up? Cause it's my turn to take the spotlight."
"I don't know if I can take it." You responded honestly, still catching your breath.
"You can take it, I promise." Alexia responded as she kneeled in front of you, grabbing your feet to place on the sofa on either side of you so that you were once again exposed to her.
"Alexia, wait, I'm still raw." You whimpered
Alexia groaned. "I'll be gentle, I promise."
Mapi, who was standing as she removed the harness, rolled her eyes. "No, she won't."
"No, I promise, cariño. I'll be good." Alexia said as she moved closer to you. She leaned her head into your cunt, giving it a gentle smooch. You gasped quietly at the gentle touch.
She gave your cunt another peck before taking it inside her mouth and using her tongue to lick the slickness of your core. You moaned as you felt the flat of Alexia's tongue clean the surface of your cunt.
"Uh, Alexia." You moaned as you felt her tongue play along the folds. "Suck on me, please."
Alexia obeyed and placed a suction around your clit. She sucked and you nearly jolted out of your position. "Fuck! That's good."
Alexia looked smug as she continued to eat you out. You were moaning and grunting, focused on your pleasure until Mapi grabbed your face and proceeded to kiss you.
You moaned sloppily into her mouth as she liplocked with you as you were getting eaten out by your other best friend. You moaned against Mapi's mouth when you felt the tip of Alexia's tongue play against the small part of your clit. You moved your hips towards her and parted your lips to breathe which didn't stop Mapi from taking that as an opportunity to stick her tongue in your mouth.
You were breathless and overstimulated. You felt like the two were overcompensating for the lost pleasure they could have had if it weren't due to you being tied down to the anchor that was your ex for all these years.
You continued to gyrate your hips as Alexia kept a firm suction of your core with her mouth, still kissing Mapi deeply. You moaned loudly against Mapi's mouth when you felt the climax building. At that point, Alexia removed her face from your cunt and promptly replaced it with her hand rubbing against your and the two fingers of the other hand swiftly placed inside you, curling against your sensitive part.
You couldn't even process what happened next. You turned into a concentration of mindless pleasure that eventually exploded into a shaking orgasm.
"Woah, Mapi." Alexia exclaimed with her fingers still pumping in and out of you. You fluttered your eyes open to see Alexia smiling playfully at Mapi. "She's squirting."
You looked down and as if on cue, you squirted again. You groaned as Alexia fingered you a few more times before fully pulling out. "I never would have guessed you're a squirter." She commented.
"I guessed it." Mapi responded.
Alexia just rolled her eyes. "That doesn't matter. I made her squirt without any of your help." She retorted.
"Please, she was only cumming after I already fucked her. That orgasm was merely an aftershock." Mapi answered. "I think I won."
Alexia exhaled exasperatedly. She turned towards you. "Go on and tell Mapi I won this time."
You paused as you tried to catch your breath, darting your eyes from one best friend to the other. Alexia was good with her hands and mouth. She loved to hit particular spots that just elicited the loudest and most embarrassing noises you have ever made. On the other hand, Mapi truly fucked yoy brains out with her strap. It was rough and indulgent which you never would have thought was the type of sex you would go insane for.
You hummed. "No winners."
Alexia and Mapi exclaimed in protest loudly. You hushed the two immediately. "No winners yet. I think I need another round to get to decide who wins."
They both smiled.
"Good," Alexia said. "I can go all night until you decide I win."
"I can go all night even after you decide I win." Mapi retorted. You shook your head and chuckled at them. It was going to be a long and sleepless night.
a/n: sorry this was completely unedited! i hope u guys still liked it! pls be nice <3 requests are open (but slow and not guaranteed lol)
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso fic#alexia putellas fic#alexia putellas x y/n#alexia putellas fanfic#alexia putellas smut#alexia putellas x reader#mapi león x reader#mapi leon x reader#mapi león fanfic#mapi leon fanfic#mapi leon fics#mapi leon x y/n#woso smut#dividers by cafekitsune
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roronoa zoro; 21,051 words (not including epilogue), fluff and angst, ENEMIES!!! to lovers, the slowest of slow burns, canon-normal violence, on-page description of injury, excessive use of flashbacks, some banter, healing from trauma, baroque works!reader to strawhat!reader, no "y/n", emotionally constipated!zoro, hurt and comfort, angst with a happy ending; (epilogue tags will be posted separately)
summary: in which neither you nor zoro are the children you remember each other to be.
update: new chapters will be posted on @shouyuus!!!
a/n: IT'S FINALLY HERE!!! i honestly cannot believe i actually finished writing this lmfao. but anyway, this post will act as a table of contents/masterlist of sorts, and i will update links to the separate chapters as they go up. chapters will be posted every few days (but they are all done! except for the epilogue LOL). i've tagged everyone who has req-ed to be tagged in this series so far on this prologue post, but if you wish to be tagged for the upcoming chapters and you're not already on this fics specific taglist, please comment below to be added! and without further ado -- here we go!
TABLE OF CONTENTS ━
prologue: someone, somewhere
chapter one: a shadow of the past
chapter two: tell no tales
chapter three: sleep of the living, dreams of the dead
chapter four: another life
chapter five: true love's kiss
epilogue: la petite mort (nsfw)
prologue: someone, somewhere
He remembers you most as a child, in halcyon images and gold-limned flashes of his own childhood memories, the edges blurring watercolor soft, but the center (always you) carved in knife-sharp relief.
You were one of the few children that lived in Shimotsuki Village who hadn’t come from the doujou — one of the few children he knew that (at least to the best of his knowledge) had a thing called family. A mother to braid your hair, a father to chase the darkness away, a warm bed and a kitchen that always smelled of freshly made rice. And perhaps it was jealousy, or some other more complicated emotion that had been then too big to name with one single word, but he’d never gone out of his way to befriend you like the other kids from the doujou did — fascinated as they were by your soft hands and round cheeks and the bright, glittering array of homemade sweets you’d bring with you once every couple of weeks.
He’d learn later on that it was because Shimotsuki-sensei had saved your father’s life at some point in time; the story now lost to the annals of legend and withering memory, but back then, he’d only assumed it was the natural way of things. Of waking up for kata practice and then settling in for lunch, and then maybe, if it was to be a good day, you, with your basket of sweets and your blue-bell laughter.
And perhaps this is why, years later, when he meets you again in a dark, nameless village tavern, he doesn’t recognize you — not at first. Because you’d looked so different. Gone was the roundness in your cheeks, or the natural star-bright light in your eyes. Gone, too, were the bright braids that your hair had always been set in — he remembers so clearly, watching the other boys from the doujou jab their fingers into the rings of your pinned up braids, pulling down just to hear you squeak. He hadn’t said anything then, stupidly thinking him above it all, watching as you tried to jerk away, but laughing when the boys finally relented with half-hearted apologies.
You always threatened to take their sweets away; you never did, in the end.
But there, then, in that tiny tavern, you’d been thin, your hair dark as an oil spill, loose and inky as it cascades over your shoulders, your eyes lightless as the windows to an abandoned house — the hollowness made all the more visceral by the light he knew once inhabited them. The way loneliness is always more potent when coming back to it, the second time around.
He wanders up to the bar, slates you a glance before rapping his knuckles on the worn wood to catch the bartender’s attention.
“I’ll have beer and a refill of whatever the lady’s having.”
You shift slightly, shoulders hunching towards your ears.
“Thanks, but no thanks,” you say, shifting to shield your face from his gaze.
Zoro cocks his head, tossing a few Berry towards the bartender as they set down a stein of beer and a champagne flute to replace the one in front of you.
“Can’t a guy buy a girl a drink?” Zoro asks, rolling his shoulders as he reaches out for his beer. You eye him warily.
“Not for a guy that’s been tracking me for three weeks straight.”
Zoro hums, thumb poised on the hilt of his swords.
“We just happened to be going in the same direction.”
You reach out to run a forefinger along the rim of the thin champagne flute before swirling it once by the base. You watch the bubbles fizzle before leaning in to take a dainty sip.
“And they say chivalry is dead…” you murmur, almost too softly for him to hear. Zoro scoffs, allowing himself a twinge of a smirk before his mouth falls flat.
“You let me track you for three whole weeks.”
There’s no question in his words, only a harsh, accusatory certainty.
You lick your lips, leaning back in your stool, tugging your glass of champagne with you.
“Maybe I wanted the company.”
“Or maybe… you wanted me to follow you here.”
Every muscle in his body is tense, drawn taut as a tightrope, coiled tight as a spring.
You sigh, twisting a single lock of your hair around a finger, examining the ends as if looking for split hairs.
Then, quick as a flash, you’re at each other’s throats — him with a sword poised at your jugular, you with a knife pressed against his stomach.
“One move —” you warn, digging the knife slightly further into his skin. Distinctly, Zoro feels the pressure slice through his thick linen shirt, the cool kiss of the blade against his abdomen. And he’s killed enough by now to know that you’ve picked a major artery — one that would hurt, and take minutes for him bleed out. Just long enough for him to suffer, but not enough to get help.
The edge of his mouth ticks upward — not bad.
It’s then, in the infinitesimal flicker of your eyes meeting his, that he realizes who you are.
He nearly topples back, jerking away slightly with the revelation. Your eyes go wide, jolted by his sudden movement. But he’s quick enough to evade the sharp jab of your knife and a second later, you’re on either ends of the tavern, drawn blades and bared teeth.
“Y-you!” the word rips from Zoro like an unripe scab, thick and hard and still bloody underneath.
You lick your lips, eyes narrowing to slits beneath your long, lanky hair.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell you don’t.”
“Oi! No fighting in the bar!” the barkeep’s voice is gruff and loud, and for a second, Zoro wonders if you’ll listen. The next, the sharp clang of metal on metal stuns him backwards a few steps as you wrest your knives from between two of his katanas, snarling.
“If you’re so much of a gentleman — let’s take this outside.”
“Ladies first,” Zoro spits out as he whips both swords through the air before sheathing them. He makes a show of holding the tavern door for you as you stalk out in front of him, your hackles raised, your knives jutting out from your belt like so many pairs of sharpened claws.
“What do you want?” you ask, as soon as you’re both out of the bar and standing in the moonlit street outside, the wharf to your left, the strip of small, rundown taverns to your right.
The air twangs with the metallic smell of fish and the thick, oppressive sweetness of rotting wood.
“An explanation,” Zoro says, crossing his arms and planting his feet.
“I don’t owe you anything.”
Zoro nods, “Sure. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know.”
You lick your lips, glaring at him for a second longer before turning and marching down the rickety boardwalk. A moment later, Zoro levels himself with you as you round a corner onto a small stretch of beach, pillowed against a backdrop of sharp, unrelenting rocks, the tips bleached white by the round, silver moon.
“There was a beach just like this,” you say, stepping onto the tide-soaked sand, leaning down to pick up a fragment of a broken seashell, washed ashore by an errant wave.
It takes Zoro a second to realize you’re talking about Shimotsuki village, and the tiny little beach on the other side of the dense, cedar wood.
“Yeah. A bunch of us used to play there — see who can throw rocks out the furthest.”
“You were always the best at that,” you say, your voice softer than he’d heard all night.
“Yeah, well…” Zoro shrugs, leaning down to pick up a piece of rock, weighing it in his palm a few times before whipping his arm back to snap it into the gentle, shushing waves. You both watch as the rock skids out over the water before plunking into the sea, “Guess I’ve always been kind of a show-off.”
The sound of your laughter sends summertime sparklers racing up his spine.
The quiet pools between you like spilt blood, rank and dripping.
“So. You go by Ms. Double Nines now, I heard,” Zoro says, in a flagging attempt to be casual as he turns to glance at you, both his hands resting on the hilt of his swords.
You stand next to him, your eyes focused on a point far out on the horizon, still as statue.
“What’s it to you?”
Zoro sighs, looking down. In the pale, cool moonlight, his earrings glint like baring teeth.
“What happened?”
You suck in a breath.
"Life happened,” you say, turning back towards him with a steely glint in your eyes. Zoro stiffens, his grip tightening on his swords as he sizes you up. He does the mental calculations — you’re just far enough for him to defend against an attack, but close enough where if things were to go south entirely, he’d have a hard time getting back to safety.
You grin, seemingly noticing his rough internal calculations.
“Do yourself a favor, Roronoa — and don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know the answers to,” you say, flicking out one of your blades and tossing it up into the air, only to catch it around your finger, swinging it round and round, the sharp edge of the blade nicking the air just shy of your cheekbone.
“Who said I didn’t want to know?” Zoro presses, bracing himself for a fight.
You chuckle, the sound harsh and mirthless.
“If you’d wanted to fight me properly, you wouldn’t have waited till I got you onto this stretch of deserted beach.”
“Maybe I just wanted a quiet place to kill you.”
“Or maybe…” your voice is so low Zoro almost doesn’t catch the stomach-wrenching longing in your words, “I just wanted a quiet place to die.”
The sharp shink of blades being drawn is heart-rendingly familiar, but the bone-rattling clash of metal on metal still shakes him to the roots of his teeth. Zoro grunts as he parries a blow from either side, before crossing his swords to catch your assault down the center.
You’re fast, he’ll give you that, your body smaller and quicker. You slip through the shadows with the comfort of a person who knows nothing but and he can’t help wondering at the life you’ve led that had pushed you to this point.
To having a mark on your back, a bounty on your head.
You’re a good fighter — this much, he acknowledges. But good isn’t usually good enough to best him. This much, he also knows. Yet somehow, you’re keeping up, somehow, you’re pushing him back, forcing him to retreat one step and then another. It’s not until you duck beneath one of his pin-wheeling blades and force yourself into a knife’s-breath of his space that he realizes — it isn’t that you’re good, it’s that you’re reckless.
Reckless with your own body in a way that makes him stumble back at the realization. Reckless, in the way you charge forward and thrust your body into spaces where he’d easily be able to slip a blade between your ribs — and later, when he’s wiping his swords clean of your oxidizing blood, he’d wonder why he didn’t.
Still, there’s something terrifying in the way you barely flinch when he knicks your arm, drawing a dark line of blood through your clothes, or how you jerk yourself forward when the tip of his sword catches your stomach, almost as if daring him to impale you in one fell swoop.
“You — you used to be… someone else,” he says, panting as he steadies himself against a sharp jut of moonlit rocks. Behind you, the ocean churns, dark and foaming as it throws itself onto the jagged reefs.
You lick your lips, wiping a smear of blood from your cheek. Your chest heaves with the exertion, but there’s a pale, flickering ache behind your eyes that sets Zoro’s whole body on edge.
He shivers as you grin, savage and unrecognizable as the tiny girl with mochi-round cheeks who had once upon a time offered him sweets in a hand-woven basket.
“Yeah? Well — so did you.”
TAGLIST: @brairslair @msheds0519 @yunabelless @lynndt-chocolate @lostonthrillerbark @stunies @tsumu-senpai @phroggii @ssailormoonnn @breathinginyoursmoke @guridoodles @kyllium @naomihatake @itoshiexx @mythicallystupid @mars-mizuko @astroniii @crispynutella @enhastolemyheart @fanficwriter101 @jamesbparker @dira333 @weirdowithaphone @ink-perfect
#one piece#one piece x reader#x reader#opla#opla x reader#roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro x reader#one piece live action#one piece scenarios#opla zoro#roronoa zoro x you#one piece netflix#opla zoro x reader#one piece live action x you#one piece live action x reader#roronoa zoro fluff#one piece angst#roronoa zoro imagines#roronoa zoro scenarios
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i love you. it's ruining my life. (MV33)
✰ max verstappen x popstar!ex!reader ✰
summary: you and max have been broken up for four years now, going no contact for the entirety of those years. never bothering to contact eachother but he invites you to one of his races one day after the last show of your tour, who were you to say no?
genre: angst (im sorry)
wc: 3k
a/n: AHHH, THIS WAS WAS A DOOZY!!!!! i loved writing this (i mostly just like hurting myself more than anything). kind of dark themes tho, ooc max bc he vvv loving and would never cheat on his lover. thank you so much for 100 followers btw!!!!!! i wrote this as a 100 follower special :3 thank you so much for my supporting my short journey as a tumblr writer, you guys inspire me to write even more for you guys. can you imagine that's it's been a week of writing and i've already gained 100 followers?? i love you guys so much.
warnings: mentions of existing relationship with kelly, cheating
"thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up. another fortnight lost in america." - taylor swift, 'fortnight'
isn't it ironic that careers can really separate you from what truly made you, you? being a popstar, touring for months on end, surrounding yourself with new people, new opportunities, made it hard for you to reconnect with the people that helped you from day one.
it wasn't like you cut them off, or stopped talking to them. you tried. you really tried, but sometimes life goes on and people forgive and forget. your old life before you started your career was slowly being etched away and replaced with new pieces.
and maybe that was a bad thing.
"on stage in 2 minutes," a voice snapped you out of your trance, you looked up. you looked amazing in your sparkly dress, it was the last leg of your tour and you were touring in europe.
you had been offered to attend a formula one race this weekend after all of your shows had been concluded, you've been thinking about it, but you're not sure you want to go. one of the people from said past was in attendance and you're not sure if you wanted to immerse yourself in that again.
you didn't think about it for long though, you were due for a show and a show was what you're going to give.
it wasn't long until the weekend, friday to be exact and you had accepted the offer of being on the formula one paddock, you knew that a certain ex-boyfriend was going to be there, racing on the track and you were invited personally by him, which was why you were so skeptical to go.
POPSTAR Y/N BREAKS UP WITH F1 DRIVER MAX VERSTAPPEN.
you remembered the headlines, you remembered what you let go of but seeing someone you still loved after your break up almost four years ago stung a little bit.
you couldn't blame him though, you were the one to break things off all those years ago. it wasn't because you had a terrible relationship with him, but it was more because you both didn't have time for eachother and you could see it in his face everytime you came home to monaco after a long show.
"i miss you, when can you finally stay and actually stay awhile?" max's face looked pitiful and you could only look down at your feet, you felt guilty. you wanted this career, he pushed you for this career but sometimes you wished that you could split yourself in two to cater to both his needs and yours.
you look back up at him, locking eyes with his stormy blue eyes, "i don't know maxie, maybe next month? i don't really have a schedule for next month, i can stay in monaco with you for awhile—"
"you said that last month, when are you actually going to be free schatje?"
"max, i can't give you a definite timeline—"
"what's the point of me being in a relationship with you when i can barely see you?"
it hurt to hear those words come out of his mouth.
maybe that's when you finally realized that he deserved someone normal, someone who wasn't a famous singer and could actually spend time and be there for him.
but here you were, amidst the paddock with a singular security guard because you didn't think you needed more than one, considering security around the paddock was tight in of itself.
the red bull's garage had been nice to you, offering you anything you possibly could need while being on a grand prix, you had politely declined any type of special treatment though, wanting to feel like a person for once in your life.
you wouldn't say your job is the hardest in the world, never. doing what you loved while meeting all of your fans was going to be the highlight of your day, but sometimes the job came with crazy fans that would invade your privacy for selfish reasons, and it made you a tiny bit stressed.
you remember starting out from the netherlands, starring in small gigs before getting signed to a mega corporation in america, which was when you moved. you slowly lost contact with your friends, but you were sure they were proud of you although you weren't proud that you lost contact with them.
you knew that if you contacted them that it would be awkward, there was just no way they would even remember you, right?
you were walking about aimlessly around the paddock, it was free practice day which meant that after the allotted time of the free practice, drivers were free to roam around the paddock however they wanted. you were scared on what you had to face today.
you told yourself to just keep calm, take whatever you got this weekend and just react like a sane person.
saturday came and went, you attended the paddock to watch the qualifying session, of course, max came out on top. was it even a surprise to you? you knew he was the best of the best, you never expected less of him, even after all these years.
sunday was here and maybe it was the anxiety, but you felt like throwing up when you saw max approach you.
"y/n, it's good to see you."
god, those eye-smiles. you could never get tired of them.
"hi max, congrats on starting out pole for this weekend," you told him as you shook hands with him, he was all smiles.
it felt good to see him happy.
"how has the paddock been treating you?" max asked, gesturing all around him, "have you tried the food? it's really good."
you nod as you let go of his hand, clasping it with your other hand, a nervous habit, "yeah, the food's good. how have you been? i haven't talked to you in awhile," a nervous laugh bubbled up from your throat, you were nervous to see him, maybe it was those damn butterflies in your stomach that you couldn't get rid of when he looked at you with those blue eyes of his.
"i know, you've been quite busy right?" max laughed at you, he felt silly conversing with his ex-girlfriend like this, like they didn't have a past.
you could only nod and smile back at him, shoulders tense, "yeah, touring's been eventful. it's the last leg of the tour so i decided to come, thank you for the invite by the way, i really appreciate—"
"max, who's this?" a voice came from behind you, quite condescending if you did say so yourself, cutting you off, you turned your head around to see his girlfriend and his girlfriend's child coming into view, walking towards max and wrapping max with her arm as a possessive embrace.
max kissed her cheek, and that hurt. you didn't want to know why, but you knew. he spoke up afterwards, "this is y/n, she's a singer. i wanted her to come because she had a show here, thought the timing was quite convenient for her. y/n, this is my girlfriend, kelly piquet. she's a model."
you extended your hand as a form of hello before introducing yourself, "hello, i'm y/n—"
"yeah, i know who you are," kelly cut you off again, you were quite taken aback by the hostility, your hand left hanging but then again, max was talking to one of his ex-girlfriends. you thought you would react the same way, so you didn't take it too much to heart. her face was something you'd describe as an angry, possessive tiger, brows furrowed, frown on full display.
"i didn't mean to take time away from your boyfriend. i was just having a little chat pre-race," you tried to give her a smile while returning your hand back to your side, but kelly was adamant about standing her ground.
little penelope was looking at you like she had stars in her eyes, you smiled at her. as if it was a sign of whether she should speak up, she starting speaking to you directly, "hi, i really love your songs. do you think you can stay in the red bull garage and we can take pictures together?"
you giggle and bend down to her level and pat her head, "hi little p, of course we can take pictures together— that's if your mother lets me," you acknowledged that this little girl was no ordinary little girl and was your ex-boyfriend's girlfriend's child.
"can we all talk in private please?" kelly excused the three of them away before you could even give her a response but you understood her. standing back up before walking off deeper into the paddock.
MAX'S POV
"i don't understand why you would invite her!" kelly was pacing around the motorhome, here we were fifteen minutes before race start and here my girlfriend was still yelling over something that happened two hours ago.
"kelly, i just thought it was a good idea. i wanted to invite her because i know p was such a big fan of hers—"
"she's your ex for god's sake, max!" kelly yelled out yet again, "why would i ever approve of her coming to one of your races? let alone be near to p??" her pacing was more feverish now, like she was scared.
i could only sigh, honestly i wasn't too worried about this problem at the moment. the only thing on my mind was the race and only the race.
"look, can we talk about this when i've finished with my race? i really need to focus and you keeping me locked up in here isn't going to help with it," i stood up from my seat, i didn't want to hear anything else come out of her mouth other than a 'okay' and letting me walk out of here.
"don't you think our relationship is at stake here—?"
"if you don't let me go out into the garage, then we're nothing kelly," i say with finality, i wasn't going to let her ruin a race, "i told you, we will solve and talk about this issue later, but you chose to lock me up in here. there will be nothing to salvage if you don't let me do my job."
kelly wordlessly stepped out of the way of the door and let me go, thankfully just with enough time where i could run down and get into the garage, getting me in racing gear.
thankfully the red bull mechanics and officials were understanding enough to let me rush and get inside of my car, getting into the chasis just at the right moment where we would need to drive out.
it was going to be a fine race for me. i knew it. i had enough confidence in myself to know whether i could win a race, and this was one of them.
"and that's p1 max, great race," gp was in my ear, i was proud of myself for winning, but kelly was gnawing the back of my mind. although, the first face i saw when i got out of the car was y/n's.
it felt like my heart stopped beating, i thought i got rid of those stupid butterflies ages ago, but nothing ever beat seeing her smile after i finished a race. she looked so beautiful, so ethereal but i washed those thoughts out of my head.
i had a girlfriend.
i can't run up and hug her because she's my ex. i have a loving relationship in front of me. what was i thinking?
kelly was nowhere to be found in the celebratory pit, i thought that maybe she was still too angry to face me at the moment. it stung a little bit, but she'll get over it. i'm sure.
the night moves on fast, and somehow i found myself still in the garage fixing a few things with the sim, most of the mechanics and staff were long gone. with kelly nowhere to be found. sometimes i felt bad, for still harboring feelings for an ex that left me four years ago.
my relationship with her felt so different with kelly's...
she was like fresh air you would breathe after exiting a club in the middle of the night, the smoke that clouded the air dissipating almost instantly after that fresh air hit your lungs. somehow, even four years later i still find her in little things i do everyday.
against my better judgement, i picked up my phone and i gave her a call.
"hello?"
i breathed out a sigh of relief when i realized she hadn't changed her phone number yet.
"it's me," were the words that left my lips, "you wanna come celebrate with me tonight?" i was picking on my jeans, i didn't want her to say no. i just wanted to spend a little time with her.
"what about your girlfriend? isn't she going to be even more upset with you—"
"can we not talk about her right now?" i closed my eyes and leaned back against the chair i was sitting on, hearing her voice again after a long time just... it felt right.
"max..."
"don't... just don't. i know what you're gonna say and i know it's wrong but i just... i can't do this today. i just won today and the first face i saw was yours, she didn't bother to show up. you can't tell me how to feel, y/n," i rubbed my temples, "meet me in the lobby of my hotel tonight. i just wanna see you."
"if i say okay, will this be a one-time thing?" y/n asked, i could hear the soft rustles of her moving things around, she was probably already in her hotel, resting from her tour when i had called.
"better yet, just drop the address of where you're staying. i'll come to you."
the first thing max did when he saw you was crash his lips into yours, you wanted to push him away, be the better person and tell him that he has a girlfriend but your arms couldn't do it.
your lips disconnected after awhile, he was breathing heavy, face flushed, hands all over you, "i've missed you."
you hum a response, you could barely get out a response when you feel his lips on yours again, this was wrong. all the alarms in your body were telling you to push him off, to yell at him, to reprimand him for basically cheating on his girlfriend.
but you didn't.
and maybe that made you a bad person, but at the moment you didn't care. you just wanted to feel him once more.
you woke up the next morning, cuddled up against max, both of you bare and indecent. he hadn't left yet, maybe he didn't want to leave.
the reality of last night crashed down onto you as you realized what you've done.
"max?"
"yes, schatje?"
the little nickname he gave you never went away. he used to call you that all the time but the feelings that came with it was no longer endearment but horror.
"you need to get back to your girlfriend, i don't think i can do this," you unwrap yourself from his grasps and sit up, back facing him, tears filling your eyes.
"woah, woah. schatje—"
"please, max. i feel like shit. you have a girlfriend and i just slept with you. last night was a mistake," you breathed out and hugged your knees close to your chest. you felt his hand on your back.
"y/n, what are you saying—" you cut him off before he could say anything else.
"i can't give you what you want max. we can't be together anymore. our story ended four years ago, please don't make this mistake. you're going to regret it," you quickly got up and away from his close proximity and got dressed.
you didn't know how to face him anymore.
"can we please talk about it at least? you can't lie and say that you don't feel the same way i do," max's voice came from behind you, you were pacing around the room, you were stressed. he was sitting there, shirtless with his pants on now.
"i do max! and that's the worst part because i knew you're in a relationship but i still let this happen. i am a horrible person. i love you and it's slowly ruining my life. i should've known better!" you turn around to face him, your face red, tears streaming down your face.
max could only sigh and raked a hand through his hair, "schatje..."
"we can't be together max, you know it. i can never give you what she gives you. she can be with you almost all the time max, you threw that all away for me? for someone who can't give you time of day?!" you sob into your hands.
you felt arms wrapping around you as you sob into his embrace.
MAX VERSTAPPEN BREAKS UP WITH GIRLFRIEND KELLY PIQUET ONLY AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF BEING TOGETHER.
you scroll past that headline as you got ready for your appearance to promote your new album, it came out two days ago and you were to debut the new songs on jimmy kimmel.
the tortured poets department.
you hadn't talked to max ever since that night, ever since he tenderly kissed your forehead and told you it was going to be okay and that he would figure it out. he had been blowing up your phone, asking to meet but you didn't have it in your heart to meet him after destroying his relationship like that.
that was two months ago.
you were due on stage in around an hour and that's where you would sing your heart out, leaving whatever pieces of your old self behind when you slept with max for the final time.
"i love you, it's ruining my life. i touched you for only a fortnight."
hello! thank u for reading this fic hehe, hope u guys enjoyed it. thank you again for 100 followers!!!!
#Spotify#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x yn#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fic recs#max verstappen oneshot#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#formula one#formula 1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader
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mechanic ex-boyfriend simon riley
notes & warnings: the used pictures are only for aesthetic purposes, reader is not physically described in this. AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI this is an 18+ only blog. a significant age gap between simon & reader is implied but the actual number is never mentioned. if i missed anything please lmk:)
this is a completely unedited little something i wrote at 4am
reader who never fell out of love mechanic ex-boyfriend simon
you still recommend your ex-boyfriend’s garage to your friends (especially any vulnerable women) because despite your failed relationship, you’ve never met someone as trustworthy and reliable as simon
you and mechanic simon who met when you’d found a used car you wanted to purchase and wanted to have it independently inspected
reader who found this older, ruggedly handsome, stoic and yet professional mechanic who seemed to know his shit. despite the terrifying skull design resting next to his shop’s name, you trusted him immediately
not only did he inspect the car for you, but he also helped bring down its price and performed any necessary repairs at a huge discount (he never told you about this, you eventually figured it out on your own)
despite the obvious crush, he was very reluctant to pursue anything with you. not only were you his client and trusted him not to make things weird, but you were also so much younger and he felt like an old dog who was beyond learning any new tricks
you should’ve taken his warning from the beginning as he had predicted the downfall of your relationship before it’d even began
reader whose car has been acting weird for the past couple of months so you begrudgingly take it to simon’s shop
you’d actually tried taking it to some new garage in town, but had a feeling you were being lied to and overcharged when the sleazy mechanic barely spent an hour on it and said it was back like new
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who doesn’t even need 5 minutes to tell you it’s on its last leg. despite his stoic demeanor, he’s actually concerned by how you’ve been driving such a vehicle in such an unsafe state
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who starts asking till he finds a car within your budget. one he inspects himself to make sure his baby not anymore doesn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere because of faulty brakes
the fucker was ready to buy it himself, but knew you’d never accept his money (especially not after the harsh parting words you’d left each other with during your last fight)
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who’ll never love anyone more than you, but still isn’t willing to repair the broken bond between you two
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who still uses o’keeffe’s working hands cream every day cause you used to always rub it on his hands, swearing his calloused skin would soon feel like a baby’s butt (and of course you were right). he tries to mimic the way you’d gently work it into his damaged skin as the only thing he had left from you now were memories
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who never really tries to move on from you despite his apprentice’s attempts to set him up with multiple people (what’s the point of you for something he’s already found)
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who went through the army and came out even more damaged after a stint in prison. he believes nothing good will come out of such a sweet thing so full of life being chained to a grumpy old man like him
mechanic ex-boyfriend simon who despite thinking all of that can’t accept the thought of you being with someone other than him
WHEW the is the first time i've written in YEARS (and i probably won't write anything for another good 5 years fjkdsw). hope you enjoyed this as much as i did!! this au idea has been rotting my brain for the past few days and i just had to let it out. feel free to dm me, leave a comment or send an ask about this au. dividers made by @anitalenia ✨
#mechanic ex-bf!simon#simon riley x reader#simon riley#ghost x reader#ghost#ghost x you#cod imagine#cod x reader#cod#call of duty x reader#call of duty#modern warfare#modern warefare ii#simon riley imagine#ghost imagine#ghost mw2#sam's cod fics
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Crestfallen - Part 3
Author’s Note: I made up a lot of sicknesses/random things that have never been mentioned throughout the actual ACOTAR series! The breaks in text are going back and forth between the two rooms.
Overall Summary: Although you were born in the Day Court, you've been living in the Night Court for a century. You're close with the inner circle but what will happen when a new healer is brought into the picture?
Part 3 Summary: Clara has been found out, but what has she done to you?
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: talks of injuries
"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean." Clara said softly, a small confused smile on her lips.
"When I asked you to help her, you said "I didn't do this one." What does that mean." Nesta snarled at the young healer.
Mor seemed deep in thought, Azriel and Cassian were equally confused, and Nesta seemed ready to pounce.
"Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing her say that." Mor spoke up.
"You better tell us what's up right now." Cassian growled.
At this point, Clara's smile faultered. She looked around for a way out but noticed the four of them had her surrounded and they wouldn't stop until they knew the truth. She may be evil but she wasn't dumb.
"It wasn't even that bad." The healer confessed.
"What have you done?" Azriel questioned, his voice deadly calm.
------
Madja had seen cases like yours before but never this bad. The cut on your back had traces of venom in it. A rare venom that used the victim's power against them.
She needed to extract every last ounce of it that was in your system but it was trickier than it sounded. If she took too much too fast, it could essentially tear your powers from your very being which would kill you.
"I need you to enter her mind. Once you are in, I will start to remove the poison from her system, you just need to let me know if her mind starts fading." Madja explained to Rhys.
"Are you sure this will work?" Rhys asked.
"Of course I am, boy. Now do as I say." She said quickly.
Rhys tried to enter your mind but all he could see was blinding light. There was no where for him to enter, it was almost as if the light was burning him. He pulled away, never feeling anything like it before.
"I can't get in, her light, it burns me." He explained to the healer.
"Listen to me. It might burn a bit but you will be fine. On the other hand, if we don't fix her right now her light will continue to burn brighter until it has consumed her. Perhaps we could get the shadowsinger in here to help." Madja told Rhys, hoping Azriel's shadows could help.
Rhys immediately spoke to Az through his mind and he appeared within seconds.
"What can I help with?" He rushed out his question.
"I cannot enter her mind, it is too bright, painfully so. Could you somehow use your shadows to help me get through?" Rhys explained the situation.
"I can try." Az responded.
------
Cassian looked towards where Azriel just stood, knowing he went to help you.
"I have no clue what's wrong with Y/N, honest. I swear I didn't think it would go this far." Clara pleaded with the group.
"You better start explaining before I unleash Nesta upon you." Cassian threatened.
Nesta had been eerily still, like a predator hunting her prey. Clara was visibly scared. Her hands were shaking, terrified of what Nesta would do to her.
"Ok listen. I've had a huge crush on Azriel for years now, so when I saw you guys needed another healer I took that as my opportunity." The "healer" explained.
"We've only known you for 2 weeks, how could you have a crush on him for years?" Mor asked.
"Everyone knows Azriel, the mighty shadowsinger, the feared spymaster of the Night Court. Well...when I met him all he wanted to talk about was Y/N. About how much I'd love her personality, how she's so great," Clara went on, "so I was a little jealous of her."
By this point, Mor was dissappointed she didn't believe you. She assumed you were exhausted from your mission and the guilt she felt was awful.
"When she showed up to my shop I got angry that she was back so soon. Rhys wanted me to do a check up on her and all I saw was a tiny cut on her back so I thought she'd be fine and I just wanted her to leave." She continued to explain.
Nesta was fuming by this point. Not only because of what she did to her friend but also because she didn't see through Clara sooner.
"Wait wait wait, all this is happening to Y/N because you're jealous of her? What kind of vile creature are you?" Cassian seathed.
"I didn't mean for any of this to happen-" She began to plead when Azriel appeared in the room again.
------
Rhys re-entered your mind, this time with Azriel's shadows being a protective barrier around him. It was way easier this time but he wasn't sure how long Az could hold it.
"Alright, start." Rhys told Madja.
The healer began her work. Unweaving the venom from your powers, from your soul. She was about halfway through when Rhys called out.
"STOP! I can feel her fading!" Rhys was panting, he was exerting all his energy.
Madja pulled out, confusion taking over.
"This doesn't make sense. It's as if another energy is pulling her powers. Like an untouched ball of energy using up the rest of her." She explained.
"What do we do?" Azriel questioned.
"It needs another energy form to pull from..." She started.
"My shadows." He whispered.
Before anyone could stop him he sent them out to you and that little ball inside of you immediately began to absorb them. He screamed out in pain and Rhys and Madja quickly began to work.
It took only a few moments more for Madja to finish yet it felt like an eternity for the two males. It had been way easier now that Az was distracting whatever it was inside of you. The venom was successfully extracted and the room was eerily quiet. Rhys and Az both fell back, feeling drained from using their powers in such a way.
"Why isn't she waking up?" The shadowsinger whispered, making his way toward you.
"It must have to do with whatever is deep inside her. I need to do a full body work up on her to see what is going on." She spoke and started right away.
Az felt a tear slide down his cheek and quickly brushed it away. The High Lord stayed back to give you space to be checked out but he felt the same as the male next to him, worried and hopeless.
It felt like an eternity when Madja spoke up again.
"There is a substance inside her nose. Almost like a powder but I haven't seen it before. I'll have to take it back with me to break the molecules down. I'm afraid Y/N will have to stay in this state for now." She told the two males.
Azriel's head shot toward Madja at her words.
"Wait, did you say a powder was in her nose?" He muttered.
She just nodded her head in response, holding up the sample she collected. Your words from earlier popped into his head.
"Y/N told me 'she blew some powder in my face which caused everything'." Azriel stated coldly and winnowed away.
------
The shadowsinger appeared in front of Clara, his shadows surrounding her and pinning her against the wall. She shrieked in either pain or fear but he didn't care. You were in danger and he would stop at nothing to help you.
"What did you blow in Y/N's face?" He demanded.
"What?!" She feigned innocence.
Azriel held up the vial of powder close to her face. His shadows squeezed tighter around her frame.
"It's nothing serious," She weezed out, "It's a mix of vamire, spitfire aconite, and root of igranium. All it's supposed to do is heighten the pain/sickness they already have. I had an antidote that I gave her. It's in my bag."
Mor quickly grabbed the bag from the female, searching for both the powder and the antidote. She handed them both to Az.
"And why would you posion her just to give her an antidote?" Cass asked.
"I wanted to impress Azriel." She whimpered looking down.
"What's in the antidote?" Az shouted at her making her flinch.
"A..Adlirin and G..G..Green Gilliflower." She sputtered in terror.
The shadows left along with their master and she fell to the floor.
------
"Both of these are in her system," Az spoke holding the vials, "Vamire, Spitfire Aconite, Root of Igranium, Aldirin, and Green Gilliflower."
Madja's eyes grew wide and a bad feeling shot through both Az and Rhys at her reaction.
"This isn't good." She said, looking over your unconscious form.
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@historygeekqueen @mariahoedt @fr0stf4ll
#acotar#acotar imagine#azriel#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel fluff#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel spymaster#azriel x you#azriel imagine#azriel angst#a court of thorns and roses
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my best friend's brother (is the one for me) - matt sturniolo x reader
where y/n has had a crush on her best friend nick’s brother for years
word count: 1.1k words
“i’m not setting you up with my brother.” nick said as he was unlocking the door to his house.
“oh come onnnn,” i whined walking into the house behind him, “he’s so fine though.”
“i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that actually.” he laughed as matt came out of his room. i stopped for a second or two staring at him. i took in what he was wearing, grey fresh love sweatpants and a tight tank top. his hair all over the place, wiping sleep from his eyes.
"what did she say?" he questioned with tiredness in his voice. "nothing, nothing." i quickly replied eyeing nick not to say anything to his brother.
"you do know it's two p.m. right?" nick asked matt seeing the boy still in pajamas and obviously tired.
"and? can't a man sleep in?" he said sarcastically. i couldn't help but laugh as i put the snacks me and nick had just bought in the fridge. "why are you laughing miss ‘sleep until four p.m.’? you can't be saying anything here." matt eyed me making me stop laughing as soon as he spoke.
"hey now, i haven't done that in months. didn't you just do that, let me see, yesterday?" i retorted watching him roll his eyes at my comment.
i've been friends with the triplets since high school and moved out to l.a. around the same time as them. we became closer with the move, all of us looking for houses and making sure whatever houses we found weren't too far from each other.
i've had a crush on matt since we first met. only recently have i realized it's way more than a crush. i find myself craving him and his presence. we've always had more of a flirty friendship, which didn't help any of my feelings towards him. his nicknames for me bordering pet names, sweetheart, princess, baby.
“whatever you say, princess.”
“of course we can get food, sweetheart.”
“I don’t want to not live by you, baby.”
of course i never believed he ever meant anything by it, but they still made my stomach flutter and my heart skip a beat. the way he said it so casually but yet so lovingly never failed to have me in my head wondering if he really meant what he said.
"what'd you guys get me?" chris asked the second he walked up and saw the bags, no "how are you guys" or "how was the trip".
"nothing. you said you didn't want anything. all four times we asked you." nick said after grabbing one of the drinks we had just bought. i grabbed the pepsi i knew he wanted, along with some of his usual snacks and threw them to him.
"see at least y/n loves me." chris said to nick and then stuck his tongue out at him.
"did you get me anything?" matt asked walking over to me, not stopping til he was right behind me. my breath hitched as he put his hand on my waist.
"yeah, a root beer and the food you texted me about." i replied as calmly as i could, secretly hoping he wouldn't leave his spot to grab them.
"thank you, baby." he whispered into my ear before he pulled away to go find everything, his hand trailing my lower back as he walked away.
he knew what he was doing. there was no way he didn't. i know he feels the way my body shifts into him, the way my breathing gets heavier, the effect only he seems to have on me.
“what are we watching tonight?” i asked while walking over to put my drink on the coffee table, and then grabbing my blanket from the basket.
“what about retribution?” matt suggested sitting in his usual spot on the couch next to me.
“you only wanna watch that for liam neeson.” i told him, grabbing the remote to put on something that wasn’t a liam neeson movie.
“yeah, but he’s just so good.” matt emphasized, moving his arms around trying to make a point.
“what about the crow?” i asked everyone, only to be met with groans from everyone.
“yeah for the thousandth time? no thanks.” chris said, rolling his eyes and throwing popcorn at me.
“yeah and it’s my turn to choose a movie tonight so i don’t see the problem here..” i told him while going to amazon prime and searching up the movie.
as the movie got to my favorite scene, i moved closer to matt to lay on his shoulder. as i was moving he pulled his arm up for me to be closer. as the movie got more gruesome, i felt him hiding in my hair so he didn’t have to watch.
“something funny?” matt asked once he felt me laughing.
“yeah, you. you do this every time at this exact part too.” i looked up at him still laughing a bit, only to find him already looking at me. i put my head back down onto his chest to hide the blush creeping onto my cheeks, directing my attention back to my favorite movie.
“i don’t know why you like this movie so much, it’s weird.” nick complained, obviously intrigued in the movie though.
i roll my eyes, “is that why you’re still watching?”
as the movie went on and i got more tired, i moved down into matt’s lap and put my feet up on the couch. once i was comfortable, i felt matt start to shift around underneath me.
“can you stop moving around, you’re bothering me.” i almost yelled at him, while trying to stay comfortable.
“sorry sweetheart.” he said, moving his hand to my hair, slightly massaging my head. after a couple minutes of that, i was starting to fall asleep. i woke up to him adjusting himself, yet again. this time he got up and started walking towards the bathroom.
“where are you going?” i whined, missing the comfort of him.
“nowhere, just the bathroom.” he said quietly, before rushing off to the bathroom. i moved into his spot, trying to keep what was left of the warmth before he got up. i squint my eyes in confusion, wondering why he rushed off so quickly. but i decided to ignore it and got up and went to the kitchen to grab something to drink. i heard something behind me when i closed the fridge, i turned and saw a disheveled matt behind me.
“you okay?” i questioned once i took in the sight in front of me.
“all good, sweetheart.” he answered, with a familiar look in his eye that made my knees weak.
“you wanna grab me another drink while we’re here?” he asked, still staring at me.“oh yeah, sure,” i turn back to the fridge to grab whatever was in there for him. as i handed it to him i couldn’t help but watch him take the can, the way his fingers wrapped around it had my mind going places it shouldn’t be going.
especially not about my best friend’s brother.
tag list:
@beersangel @whoseyouare @wh0schl0
#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine
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