#And I don't know how to fix it

[hebuiltfive]

WIP Wednesday Sunday!!

I'm beginning to think that my ability to write has somehow been deleted because I haven't written anything substantial since November. And it isn't because I don't have the muse. I literally sit down to write everything in my head but it either comes out messy, or doesn't come out at all. I don't know if I've posted this snippet before. It's from a chapter I finished writing ages ago, but I wanted to post something to see if I could boost my brain into a state of mind of yes, we are still writing this story, now please work. Everything is worth trying, right? Idk, I think I'm overthinking it all. Anywaaaaay! From a (hopefully-not-too-soon-in-the) future WSHSB chapter...:

Scott closed his eyes.

His bruised hand was lifted to rest against the metal of the jet. Where he was standing, close by the engine, the bodywork was still warm. He focussed on that. He commanded his brain to take note of the polished aluminium beneath his bandaged fingers… Virgil would probably have seen the stark white contrast agains the bright blue of the jet’s paint. Questions he had wanted to try and avoid would now be asked in earnest, he was sure, and all that work of calming his heart became pointless.

From the possible threat of Virgil’s worried quieres, the thumping under his ribcage rose back up to the forefront of his mind.

Distractions. He needed more distractions.

Scott worked his way around the jet, mentally noting any scratch or dent he wasn’t sure existed prior to this flight. It was a futile task, he knew. His mind was in no fit state to retain any information, yet he continued anyway. Anything to avoid having to face his brothers.

To face the man who was always by his side, no matter what crazy stunt Scott was about to pull.

To face his best friend.

Virgil.

Always so tranquil.

Always so composed.

Now his brother oozed irritation.

Perhaps it was time to put an end to his delaying tactic. Perhaps it was time to finally face the music.

[glimblshanks]

Actually I'm very tempted to write a one shot of Shaxs trying to help Mariner through her war trauma. Like we know the crews mental health is something he takes very seriously, and he's the only other character in the show that we know for certain has fought on the front lines of a war. It's actually kind of odd to me that they aren't a more common friendship/ mentor pairing

[dreaming-of-spots]

Uuuuugh. I just got off the phone with the trainer Negroni is with, and he more or less flat out told me "I do not think this horse is ever going to be safe, he's not really making any progress." And like. I know Negroni is an insecure, buddy sour, and reactive horse, but idk. I think he'll always be a little hot and spooky but I watched him make leaps and bounds of progress when he was at my barn in Virginia so I don't know if it's the trainer, the environment, what... I'm frustrated and a little upset, and I don't know what to do. Pull him from the program, sure, but I don't have time to work him every single day myself, I commute an hour both ways. I reached out to my trainer in Virginia to see if she has any full training board spots open because he did really well with her, but if she doesn't, idk what to do next.

[athenajbrooks]

I want to chuck my laptop across the room

[the-hipe-exe]

Me and My favourite childhood man ⭐

[kandayuu]

Do you every find yourself being a fucking hypocrite? Bc wow

[kamkairo]

tfw your fuckin huion pen is doing that hover click/drag bullshit but ONLY in drawing programs

[stellarhoxy]

imma be real with you guys i hate capitalism. i hate the things it allows.

I'm no communist by any means, i come from a ex-eastern block country, so i know it doesn't work in practice.

But i think capitalism can't sustain long and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people living paycheck to paycheck unable to afford art. I'm sick of lots of art and creations dying or not even being born JUST BECAUSE it's not financially sustainable.

I hate that we can't have nice things because we can't trust people to not abuse the system to exploit it or cause harm to others.

I hate that we can't trust each other as people anymore. I hate that we're predisposed to love but taught hate...

Society is not meant to be like this....

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

watching this clip again and thinking about girlhood and reflection and time and gender roles. like, i see my 7-year old niece, and it's gut-wrenching to watch her be pushed into the same eldest-daughter patterns of performance and forced perfection that i was as a kid, knowing what waits for her and yet not being able to save her.

[nevertrulyset]

Life is quite difficult.

[sunshineandrosesnoraincamemyway]

A fat quarter can be cut into 20 4inch squares

I need 10-11 4 inch squares of each color I have

Theoretically I could make 2 of this quilt

Of course, I've never made a quilt before and sewing machines hate me. BUT IF IT WORKS.....!

[kakusu-shipping]

Finally decided to jump in AO3′s Mariocest collection, which is really good btw I recommend Priorities Rewritten by Karatecake, easily my favorite one I read all night

Anyway I accidentally ended off on an Angst/Unrequited Love/Dark fic because I apparently cannot read warning tags so now I’m sad and it’s 5am so I have to go to bed sad

[meyerlansky]

i feel like i've been going through the last five years of life on the very bottom of maslow's hierarchy, and like. STRUGGLING to stay on the bottom tier. i can't do intellectual stuff—the kind of stuff i LOVE and am GOOD at—because i'm completely consumed with eking out a living that's barely enough to survive and definitely not enough to live life. i can't deal with deeper shit like gender or my depression or grieving the deaths in my family over the last three years because i'm using all my energy, mental and physical, to just. exist.

[metamercury]

One day i'll go insano style and i'll write starbase rugby.

But I can't go full freak mode right now. I need to get out of academia so I can start spending my energy being a freak again instead of managing several projects at once that i'm the only one who cares about them and the only one pushing them forward. and write my dissertation. which like, and i can't stress this enough, isn't freak material in the least.

well okay i guess it's freak material if you are really into automaticity and cognition and how expectation alters perception with regards to how we read and respond to learned stimuli. But it's not Freak material in regards to like cannibalism and emotional torture. So who cares?

[veneficasum]

idiot dumbass running on too little hours of sleep

[lemon-zesttt]

"Oh, how I love white Christmas (❁´◡`❁)" I say, full of delusion. Sweating my ass off in a country that doesn't even snow