#And I don't have a car. So I can't watch it in theatres again

[starscreamingg]

Honestly transformers one deserves a medal for being the first transformers. Thing. In like five years to make me actually like and want to see bumblebee

[starrynights-sunnyskies]

as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (9/-)

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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.

or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous

fic: see my masterlist 🤍

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yourusername: last week ☀️ Liked by bff2, sofie.svava, albaps9 and 983 others

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marisabel_rguez I miss you. liked by yourusername ↳ bff2 And we miss you!! liked by yourusername ↳ marisabel_rguez 😊 ↳ yourusername I miss you more. ↳ marisabel_rguez ☺️

alexiaputellas Missing you. ↳ yourusername alright, copycat 🖤 ↳ alexiaputellas But I do!!! ↳ yourusername 😘

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tagged: alexiaputellas, jennihermoso marisabel_rguez: Family and friends 🤩 Liked by alexiaputellas, yourusername, sofiajakobsson and 12,499 others

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jennihermoso Puta, am I not family too? 🤪

alexiaputellas ❤️

yourusername oh my god, i love you sm 🥺 ↳ jennihermoso I know they're stealing the show for you, but that's including me, right? ↳ yourusername always 🤍

albaps9 hey now, not so fast, you have to put a ring on it first before we're family 🤣 ↳ bff1 good to know you're at least consistent with your rules ↳ albaps9 oh hey, it's our deranged cousin again

username1 FAMILY????? ↳ username2 yeah, misa, explain pls 🧐 ↳ username3 you don't think they... ↳ username4 😲

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tagged: marisabel_rguez alexiaputellas: Familia 🌼 Liked by yourusername, christenpress, bff1 and 49,987 others

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username1 extended family? 💍👀

yourusername brb making this my lockscreen wtf 😭

jennihermoso Team 😎

marisabel_rguez 😊 ↳ alexiaputellas 🤩

albaps9 never thought i'd see the day ↳ yourusername 🙄

username2 sisters in law....when? 👉👈

sefutbolfem Equipo 🇪🇸 ↳ yourusername be gone 😡 liked by 273 otheres

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Groupchat

you this idiota accidentally bought us tickets for the newest paw patrol film

bff2 This is exactly what I meant with zero braincells

bff3 You say accidentally but you can't convince me jajaja

bff1 race to the rescue! 🐶🚓

bff2 Wait, please tell me you're not still watching it...

you 😶

you wellllll, we're watching until our actual film starts and we can go into that theatre so PLS keep me company until then bc she's fully invested in the film now

bff1 ryder and his team of pups will come and save the day!! 🚓

bff2 Oh god 😂😫

bff3 At least I know my baby would have a good time being babysat by you two!

you aw i can't wait until that day 🥺

bff1 that's exactly why we're practising now! trying to sus out what's a nice movie to put on for them, ya know? so hurry up and make us PAWsome aunties

bff2 😂

bff3 You might not have to wait long! ☺️

you ○○○

bff1 ○○○

bff2 ○○○

you WHAT DO YOU MEAN

bff2 Uhhhh WHAT??

bff3 Surprise? 😅

you WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAN?!!!!!

bff2 ARE YOU SERIOUS 😭😱

bff3 Yup... baby coming soon 😊❤️

bff1 we're going to be aunties? 😢

bff3 I hope so! But please don't fight over who gets godmother rights 😇

bff2 Congratulations you two!!!!!!!! 😭😘❤️

bff1 okay, but it will be me, right?

bff1 kidding, congratulations OMGGGGGGGGG 😍😍😍😍

bff2 Can we come over tonight to properly congratulate you? ❤️

bff2 Also, is Y/N still here? 😅

bff1 she's crying and our popcorn is all over the floor 🤣

you omg i'm so happy for you two im overwhelmed om im soo sorry liuu screw this film im coming over right now wtf why did you drop a bomb like that through TEXTSS im nOT OKAY !!!!!!

bff1 heck no you aren't, i paid already 😡

bff1 ○○○

bff1 sigh she won, we're in the car.

you SEE YOU SOON. I LOVE YOU.

you SO MUCH!

you 😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖

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yourusername: city trip with olga 👯‍♀️ Liked by alexiaputellas, leahwilliamsonn, leilaouahabi and 3,113 others

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alexiaputellas Have fun and keep each other safe, por favor. Miss you 😘

bff1 remember to look right-left-right when crossing the street!!! ↳ albaps9 i second that. pls don't die in london bc after brexit, it'll be hell to ship your body back to spain ↳ bff1 how much do you think she'll cost to ship or do you think we should just let them keep her ↳ marisabel_rguez She has a heart of gold, so a lot of money, but can you girls maybe not talk about her dying? 😅

bff1 yeah because the wag life must be SO exhausting 😬

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Text Messages

you hey chula, i have a question. m 💌 Yes, I'd carry you around if you were a severed head. We've gone over this. 😆 you sweet! but i can't decide on something. can i send you a photo? m 💌 Princesa, I swear to god, if it's another one of those photos that'll drive me insane, I'll choke you. you oh you i wasn't going to but i now might m 💌 Noted...but okay, send me. you black or red? m 💌 YN... I swear 👀 you black or red? 😠 you sent a photo open ▼

m 💌 Oh phew they're just dresses jajaja m 💌 Hmmm... well you know what I think of you in black, but I'd love you in both 😉 m 💌 Why? What are you up to? you picking my ballon d'or dress for next week! you but ugh misa that doesn't help me m 💌 Ohh right! 😂😅 m 💌 For the record, I'd have said red if you were talking about lingerie. you ○○○ you ○○○ you great minds think alike you sent a photo open ▼

[spicy photo attached, use your imagination, teehee]

m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 YN?!? m 💌 Ale's sat beside me in the bus, dios mio m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 Fuck, you're beautiful. Amor, I love you but please!!!! m 💌 ○○○ you 😇 m 💌 😐 you oh, so are you scared of my sister now? m 💌 No. you of how she'll react when she realises the thoughts you're having about me? you because you are having those, no? m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 I am... you well i've been having thoughts about you too. you all day now m 💌 Go on. Delivered m 💌 Querida? you ○○○ you wait sorry, i have to run! m 💌 Fuck, YN, you're a menace, you know that? 😩 Delivered m 💌 And she's gone 😅 Delivered

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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story

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Direct Messages

marisabel_rguez You went with black? yourusername yep, just for you 😊 yourusername (so you'll have something to fantasise about when the award show gets boring) marisabel_rguez You like doing this to me, don't you? yourusername i thought you did too marisabel_rguez I did, until you kept it going for an entire week in which I couldn't see you... yourusername oh! no! 😱! whatever will you do to me now! 🤭! marisabel_rguez Well, nothing, not anymore. And seeing as I'm currently on the train to Barcelona to stay with you for the weekend, that sounds like a problem for you. yourusername sorry 🥺🥺🥺🥺 marisabel_rguez Too late. yourusername fine. then maybe it will become a problem for you too because i don't think i will stop teasing. how sad for you that nothing will come out of it 💔 marisabel_rguez Always a menace, aren't you? yourusername 😇 marisabel_rguez Never change, my love.

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yourusername: my hero, my big sister. finally, after everything. it was a nervewracking night, but we had a little help from above. Liked by albaps9, alexiaputellas, marisabel_rguez and 12,389 others

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judebellingham Congrats Alexia! And lovely meeting you, YN! liked by 193 others ↳ username1 👀 ↳ username2 eh, please no? 😰

albaps9 ❤️

alexiaputellas I love you.

marisabel_rguez We screamed so loud when she won! ↳ bff3 I'm pretty sure they could have heard us in France if they tried!! ↳ yourusername 🥺 ↳ bff2 Congrats Alexiaaa! ↳ marisabel_rguez Award to the most beautiful girl in the audience went to you btw! 😁 ↳ albaps9 oh oh oh! what award did i get? ↳ yourusername the most annoying girl in the audience 🤣 liked by bff1

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alexiaputellas: All that matters 🖤 (pretend you're on here again 😔) Liked by albaps9, samanthakerr20, tobinheath and 139,319 others

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albaps9 I LOVE YOU 😊

bff2 Yaaaaay, Alexia!!!

janafernandez3 😍

bff1 still my adoptive family ↳ albaps9 ..... fine. but only bc i'm in a good mood today ↳ bff1 oh... are you? 🤭 ↳ albaps9 not like that, dipshit 🤢 ↳ username1 ✨ i don't care, i ship it ✨ ↳ albaps9 🤢 ↳ bff1 🤢

username1 😍😍😍

username2 YES ALEXIA!!!

yourusername t'estimo 🥺

username3 So well deserved 🥺

username4 finally getting the recognition!! 👏

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marisabel_rguez: Proud of you! Liked by yourusername, bff2, leilaouahabi and 19,539 others

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sofie.svava Is it as heavy as it looks? ↳ marisabel_rguez I don't know, she only let me touch it for five seconds, not hold it 😪 ↳ alexiaputellas How are you complaining when my sister is yours to hold as you please? ↳ marisabel_rguez 🤐 ↳ alexiaputellas I thought so! 😜

bff1 togeeeether, foreeeever ↳ albaps9 we're misa, and alexia ↳ yourusername ✨best friends! ✨ ↳ username1 the linda and heather meme? stop 😂 ↳ username2 im living for them taking the piss out of ale and misa 🤣

username3 we've come a looooooong waaaaay

username4 can someone edit this cute picture next to the pk pic 🤣

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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their closed friends story

Direct Message

albaps9 I love how misa has just accepted you're all a package deal yourusername uhhh it's the other way around, if they want me, they get misa too 🥺 liked

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yourusername: house cooling party! saying goodbye in style. thank you for making me feel home on the best and worst days of my life. Liked by bff1, albaps9, marisabel_rguez and 1,893 others

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alexiaputellas It was a fun night 😁

username1 wait, leaving? to where 👀 ↳ username2 Madrid, duh ↳ username1 you think so? ↳ username2 Where else? 😅

bff3 Finally found use again for that karaoke machine again, hm? ↳ yourusername and i'm sure the neighbours loved it too!

bff1 goodbye to my second home. i won't forget you 💔 ↳ bff2 And I'm sure it won't forget you either 🤣

albaps9 HOUSE cooling party? pffff your flat's the size of a shoebox ↳ yourusername WAS. i'm upgrading 😌

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↳ 5h ago: albaps9 added to their story

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yourusername: bye barcelona 🥺 Liked by marialeonn16, bff2, janafernandez3 and 1,893 others

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marialeonn16 Bye tiny laelia, we'll miss you!

alexiaputellas ❤️☹️

bff1 i'm honestly heartbroken and it's not even sarcastic this time ↳ bff2 Sigh, me too 😕 ↳ yourusername no please don't say that. i've already stalled packing my last few things 😔 ↳ bff3 Can we come over? ↳ bff1 yes please, can we? ↳ yourusername please!!! and never forget that my door will always be open for you guys, no matter where i live 😞

username1 but hello madrid? 👀 liked by 21 others

albaps9 still in denial but oh well, little sisters have to spread their wings and leave the nest some day i suppose. going to miss being able to show up at random times for sleepovers with you. ↳ yourusername alba 😔

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Text Messages

Alexia Hey Misa. We spoke about this already, but I just want to say it one last time. I wish you and Y/N all the best together in Madrid, you're part of our family and I love you for how you love her. And I know you know this and will do this, but please take care of our laelia. Please. She's always been our entire world and I'm still a little reluctant letting her go where I cannot be there for her. But I know she has you now, which is the next best thing 😉But truly, I trust you with her. I know we've come a long way when it comes to that, but I speak the truth when I say that I am so grateful that it's you who has her heart. Don't be hard on each other when things get a little difficult in the beginning. You both haven't lived with someone for a while, so it will take some time to adjust to each other, no matter how much you love one another. But if anyone can do it, it's you two. It feels a little silly that I'm hurting so bad, but that kind of also means you're the right person for my sister. Because if you weren't, I wouldn't be hurting that hard, because I'd know she'll come back to us eventually. I'm not so sure that's the case this time. You've got her heart now, and like it or not, I don't think you'll ever get rid of her even if you wanted to jaja. She really loves you, Misa. She's never loved someone so hard. I can see that what you have is forever, even if it's only been a year. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for what you've done for her, the way you love her and did so even when she needed time. Your patience, respect and gentleness with her has earned you our love and respect. I guess I also kind of want to apologise again for what I whispered into your ear all those months ago after the PK. Because you're family. Vale? You are. Never forget.

Misa Hey. Thank you for telling me all of this, and for trusting me to take care of her. I know how close you all are and I actually feel really terrible for plucking her away from you, from her familiarities and her routines and her people. I know it was her own decision and that she really wants this, despite feeling a little torn too. If I could, I would have us live closer to you all. I know how lucky I am with her loving me so much that she wants to make a lot of sacrifices for me, but I also can't help but feel really bad about it. She's starting all over again and that can be scary, but I'm going to make sure that she feels at home and safe and loved over here, I promise you. That she'll settle in quickly and that she will never forget she's my world. That she doesn't feel like she made all those sacrifices in vain. You can trust me that I'll keep to my promise, Alexia. She's my entire world, and I have loved her for longer than I even realised myself. I know it might be a little challenging at first, but after the obstacles we went through together, I know this will only be a small bump. I'll make sure to schedule regular visits to Barcelona, even if our schedules get a little busy. I don't want to come in between the bond she has with you and her friends. I would never want to take that away from her, which is why I feel so guilty that I'm indirectly kind of doing exactly that. I actually wanted to pass up on the place we found and wait with looking for anything until after the world cup, so that she wouldn't already be by herself right away. But she insisted and I have to agree, it's the perfect place for us. I think her friends are planning to stay some weekends with her while we're in Australia, so that does ease my mind. And you're also always welcome to stay and visit us, Alexia. Actually, I'd love if you could come over for a few days during our time off after the world cup. I think she'd really appreciate it. Just keep it a surprise, for now? Anyway, I have to go back to painting the next layer in the living room so all the painting is done when she arrives, jaja! She gave me clear instructions which colours to use and where. She got really serious about it and it made me love her even more. But thank you, Alexia. You mean a lot to me. I will forever cherish you and your sister. I promise you.

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tagged: marisabel_rguez yourusername: one. Liked by marisabel_rguez, begovargas, bff3 and 1,837 others

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salmaparalluelo We KNEW it was the same person!!!! ↳ ona.battle Up top! 🙏

marisabel_rguez Time flies when you're having fun 😱 liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername it sure does! 😊

ingridengen Congratulations, sweetie!

username1 brb sending flowers to my crush if this is the end result

bff1 eyo ❤️

alexiaputellas Happy one year, you two 🌼 liked by marisabel_rguez

janafernandez3 Aaaaah 😭

username3 IS NO ONE SEEING THE TAG ON THE LAST SLIDE?>>> HELLO??? ↳ username4 HOOOOOLY FUCK ↳ username5 😱😱😱 ↳ username6 quick someone screenshot before it's gone again 😅

aitanabonmati 🎉🌼

jennihermoso Congrats, tiny ❤️

albaps9 you can make me feel single all you want today 😘

leilaouahabi 😍

patri8guijarro felicidades!!!

username1 THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED! ↳ username2 only officially, bc im pretty sure we all already knew who sent the flowers lol

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marisabel_rguez: uno. Liked by alexiaputellas, sofie.svava, bff1 and 34,635 others

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yourusername thank you for the flowers, my sweet friend 😘 ↳ marisabel_rguez The couch is yours tonight. liked by alexiaputellas

bff1 what does a card game have to do with yn ↳ yourusername i have no CLUEdo you??

albaps9 😊

username1 HARD LAUNCH?? ↳ username2 HARD LAUNCH!!!! ↳ username3 I COULD CRY AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM ↳ username4 as if we haven't seen them flirt, interact and post secretive pics of each other for over a year 🤭

username5 i love how they're so casual about it lol

username6 Aww yessss congrats 😭

sofie.svava yeeeeeeeehaaaa ❤️

claudiaapina 😍👏

alexiaputellas 😘

jennihermoso Cat's out of the bag!! 😝💖

bff2 Happy one year, lovelies!

mariona8co 😁🎉

marialeonn16 FINALLY

Comments on this post have been limited.

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a/n: choose a flower of your liking, hope it'll cheer you up! 🌼🌻🌷🌺

[jmdbjk]

Praise and worship

I finally figured out the meaning of the Standing Next to You MV!!

But first, did Kookie wax his pits or does he always have that landing strip of hair there?

Anyway, sorry for the immediate digression but you know it is imperative to dissect everything, even pit hair.

Back to the MV...

The opening scenes include this very non-inclusive sign:

Only limos, no sportscars, SUVs, pick up trucks, family sedans or mopeds welcome here. They are keeping the riff-raff out. ONLY LIMOS THEY SAID CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN?

Obviously makes sense when we see this dystopian scene where less than a dozen people are walking around inside some sort of derelict compound. A FORTRESS FOR ONLY THE STRETCH LIMO PREFERRING POPULATION!

Incidentally, stretch limos represent 1 percent of the options available from limo companies in the U.S. (I googled it).

Amazing that they found this many in Budapest.

What was once a sign of affluence has now fallen on hard times... hence the decrepit dystopia pictured above.

Enter our female antagonist. Who does she represent? I'll get to that later...

Our antagonist is antagonizing beautifully throughout but starts off antagonistically in her leather coatdress and 1980's heavy black eyeliner and bobbed hair. After all, the song is a throwback to that era of the late 70's/early 80's. All she is missing is the peach blush in the hollows of her cheeks. Hand me a Maybelline Blooming Colors Blush Palette and I'll fix it.

Then the dark angel makes his appearance. Ah, yes, sweet angel, come closer.

I think he has come down or up from where ever dark angels habitate in order to correct an injustice... the injustice being the duck-billed cups of this atrociously antagonistic dress our antagonist is made to wear:

For real... they couldn't find a better fitting dress? At least grab a roll of toilet paper and stuff those titty cups to fill them out? They are so sad and droopy looking... props to her Maybelline Expert Eyes Turquoise eye shadow though.

I suppose the stacked pancakes... I mean bra cups... could have meant to be an homage to another 80's icon: Madonna and her cone shaped bra... but ... nah... try again. They look like hamburgers. Now I can't unsee it. So, so sad.

We do a lil spin and our protagonist spins himself up into a jewel encrusted, crotch grabbing, finger pointing master of his game.

I think he's here to conduct a worship service.

It's time to be churched:

Stretch limos (because no riff-raff remember?) enter the opening in a temple-of-Petra-like giant wall emblazoned with JK's sacred heart logo. Very symbolic.

In they go to gather for worship. Others sit in theatre seats while Ms. Antagonist sits on the car like a hood ornament.

So... who is she and what's going on here?

No clue. She sits haughtily and antagonistically on her outdated stretch limo, while her little minions sit in the rows watching the object of their desire preaching the holy choreography.

However, Mr. Protagonist is about to really lay down the religion.

But first, gratuitous shot of Kookie prancing in heeled chelsea boots.

Back to religion... the religion of Bangtan dance... one of these is not like the other.

(*covers Hobi-hyung's eyes* Don't look its too painful.)

Did they not monitor this mess?

I don't meant to be disrespectful and I know these guys are some of the best dancers in the industry but next to Jungkook, they look like a herd of elephants. Just sayin'.

Anyway, Protagonist proceeds to become angry at the sloppy choreo and all the limo drivers gather for a gang-brawl in the middle of the church. Probably arguing over the spelling of chauffeur. I couldn't find an urban slang reference for limo, limousine or limo driver. I'm sure some exist but being the innocent thing I am, I don't know what they are.

Mr. Protagonist brings down the wrath and puts the fear of Hobi into his crew:

Then the climax of the whole darn thing: a dance break. Holy communion commences with serious thrusting into crotch grabs (some are enjoying it more than others):

Service concludes and I wonder how many takes before they got one where Kookie didn't bust out laughing with his bunny giggle?

But seriously, the MV does seem to be an homage to an era where Michael Jackson thrilled us with his brilliant music and dancing. Jungkook is continuing to pull us and BTS as a group along, forging new paths for them in the music industry. Like Kookie, I am anxious for them to reunite and get back on that stage together. And like Yoongi, I too believe they will devour the world.

(It's humor, y'all.)

[elphabaoftheopera]

Top 5 musicals from the last 5 years? :3

Hi, thank you so much for asking! I'll always jump at the chance to share my opinions on musical theatre so thank you for the excuse!!

Hadestown

I don't say it lightly when I say that this show is a masterpiece. I was lucky enough to see it on Broadway with Eva and Reeve and also once on tour. It's spectacular.

2. Six

It's not a perfect musical in my opinion but I think it's just so clever and for some reason the title song always makes me cry. "Heart of Stone" is damn near always playing in my car.

3. Come From Away

(technically came out 6 years ago but close enough)- I don't find myself listening to the music very much but watching it on tour was breathtaking. It just gives me hope in the goodness of every day people and was expertly written/staged.

4. Titanique

I am very biased because I saw the original cast in previews when it was still in the basement of Gristedes. I was in the front row Marla Mindelle as Celine Dion gave me a high five when she came out. I laughed so hard I cried. I've always loved the movie Titanic and it was a perfect parody. I'm glad it has continued to be successful. Also, it's the only jukebox musical I like besides Mamma Mia.

5. Schmigadoon! (Season One)

Okay so I know this isn't a "musical" in the traditional sense but HEAR me out. I think the show was across the board so perfect for me. A well crafted narrative, extremely catchy (almost too catchy) music, compelling characters to root for, and it both makes fun of and praises old timey musical theatre. I love golden age stuff and had so much fun picking out the references and themes. Cecily Strong plays a character named MELISSA (my name) who is a know-it-all about musical theatre. I have never ever ever felt more seen. If anyone needs to feel something again, or just kind of touch base with why you love theatre, watch Schmigadoon. I really loved season two as well, but most of this is about season one. Plus you can't go wrong with that cast.

Honorable mention: Beetlejuice (I just need to see it first, hopefully will see it on tour soon). I am also curious to see Kimberly Akimbo and Shucked but don't know enough about them yet to make a fully formed opinion.

What are your favorites from the last five years?

[fourteendaysinaweek]

Questions for people

This is so vague, but the question is kinda ultra specific

But basically, talking to two girls I work with who are neurotypical and was listening to music. It might be relevant to mention that they are the children of Indian immigrants, and I grew up in a house of autistic people in a family that has a very strong connection to music (my grandfather was in a band and is in our state hall of fame). They did not grow up with their dad covering the radio with his hand and shouting "name that tune" every time they were in the car. They also were not choir/theatre kids like me, and I also have formal voice training.

But, all that in mind, they don't... comprehend lyrics? Like, my sisters, mother, father and I can all listen to a song like twice and know most if not all the lyrics. If it's in another language, I can still get the sounds about right. But they can't. I had on Forever and Always by Parachute and offhandedly said the song makes me wanna cry, and they were confused. So i played the song again. They couldn't listen to it. They heard the music. They know words were being said. But they couldn't tell me anything the song was about until I spoke the lyrics to them from memory, which shocked them. They can get maybe the chorus or a verse of a song after a few listens but nothing compared to me.

They've brought it up before, because I forget basic things like what I went into the back to do, but I have an almost encyclopedic memory of music and can name a song and artist after like ten seconds max. They are constantly in awe of my lyric retension— a song was playing and one of them asked what was being said, so I said the lyrics while a different part was playing. And they can't do stuff like that!

Again, I don't know if it's the autism, the fact that music is part of my family life and was therefore a bigger deal as a child, or what, but does anyone else do it??? I think the majority of my friends I'm high school could do it but we were all most likely autistic theatre or choir kids. I would say it is most similar to that "watching Shrek in my head" post but with music. I can "hear songs I my head. Full things. All the lyrics. All the music. With exact timing to the actual song.

I thinks it's also worth noting that I have auditory processing disorder as well (so sometimes lyrics get misheard, but I can still recall them as soon as I try, no matter how long it's been since I've heard/sang the song)

Please tell me your thoughts and experiences, this has been baffling my entire family for weeks.

[mchlgayser]

can u do a jobe bellingham fluff where him n jude have a sister?

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐘 ft the bellingham's brother

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: one normal day at the Bellingham's residence + the chaotic and protective duo + a dramatic oc

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff / ✮

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: none

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: I don't fancy this one sm but I think it's quite good as well lmao let me know what you think

(( my navigations ))

The loud thud interrupted the two, you on the floor with your nose scrunching 'Ouch!' You hiss in pain rubbing your butt in the process to lessen the pain 'What's up with you?' Jobe asked, and you grin at him going in between him and Jude 'Okay so... Mateo asked me out!' Both Jude and Jobe raise a brow at you 'Who's Mateo?' A small wicked smile on your lip as you chuckle 'A guy I'm so crazy in love with..'

Jobe rolled his eyes 'This is the third guy this month, bro?' You hushed him and turn to Jude 'You will give me some money right?' He raises a brow again 'What? No..' You pout and then turn to Jobe 'You will right?' He shakes his head 'No.'

You got up from the couch with a huff 'You both are terrible,' You tread back upstairs to your room to get ready.

The duo stare back at each other with a crazed smile that finds its way up their lips 'Oh this is gonna be so much fun!'

Once you finished getting ready, you get your stuff and your bag before you made your way downstairs once again. The two were still on the couch but something was odd. 'Did you two change your clothes?' Jobe rolled his eyes 'What no? We wear this from the start, what are you on? You gave them both a suspicious look before shrugging 'Whatever, I'm off now, Mateo is on his way!' You went outside to see Mateo just in time and got out of the car, sending you a smile 'Come on, our movie is about to start in thirty minutes!' You get inside his car where he helps you with.

What you didn't know was that a few minutes after you left, Jude's car resounded 'Where you both going anyway?' Your mother questioned looking at the two of them 'Just outing,' She rolled her eyes 'You better not spy on your sister, she can't even have her privacy with you both being protective all the time!' She ranted on, on their way to the mall.

You on the other hand were having a nice time, minus Mateo being on his phone almost all the while 'You want the original popcorn or...?'

'The caramel one please, I'm not on my diet right now.' You giggle and he smile.

Mateo is currently lining up to buy snacks as you waited for him but you cannot help but feel that you were being watched. Not by a pair of eyes but two. You swiftly turn your head around seeing two creeps with a magazine, upside down, the magazine was covering their whole complexions.

You made your way towards them and sigh 'Firstly, you were so obvious for God's sake and secondly who brought a magazine to a cinema?' Jude was the first to stop play pretend and laugh, awkwardly 'It was Jobe's idea.'

'What no! We both planned this!' You glare at the two of them and give them the 'I'm gonna deal with you both later,' once you heard Mateo's voice coming from behind

You rush to him, taking his arms into you, and sough 'We should go now.'

Jobe felt his eyes burning with madness 'I don't like him.' He confessed making Jude laugh 'Come on, let's get inside the theatre room!' Jude freaked out at the idea telling Jobe mindlessly not to but he didn't listen and instead fasten his pace

You place yourself on the seat with Mateo beside you, 'Is this movie good?' You asked him, one hand propped on the hand rest 'Yes, it was the best!' You two began eating popcorn once the movie began commencing oblivious to the fact that your two idiotic brothers is at the back watching every single of the poor guy's moves.

Half through the movie, both parties started to feel very sleepy 'Bro we can't sleep here!' Jobe said, moving even near Mateo to examine him close and he saw that from beside he was playing with his phone typing something away

The plan's working! She fell for me!

You guys owed me 100$!'

Jobe is fuming, is this dude being for real? Betting on you for 100$? Is that your worth? You are not, you worth more than that. He told Jude about what he saw and Jude immediately texted you.

You groan the continuing buzzing sound in your pocket, but still fished it out

Look behind, we've got to talk!'

You turn your head behind, eyes widening at the sight of your two stupid brothers standing at the end of the hall motioning for you to come over, you rolled your eyes exasperatedly and went to them with a sigh 'B.F.F.R'

They pulled you outside making you whine 'That guy is a douche!' You rolled your eyes 'This gotta stop-' Jobe handed you his phone to which you look at closely.

Gasping, you ran down the cinema hall, and a loud slap echoed, and the back of his neck feel fuzzy and hot 'What the fuck?'

'You slap his face using a shoe and scoff 'Is that all I worth to you? 100$' The entire arena was watching, but that didn't stop you, this could be the chance to humiliate him 'You and your friends were betting on me?!' You dramatically scoff, eyes moistening with believable tears as you choke on your words 'You are a liar!' You cries out, the crowd was looking at him and was judging.

Some even started to record the scene and you huff 'You should be shame of yourself!' You said lastly and left the room with a quiet chuckle. Jobe and Jude were outside ready to high-fiving you.

'Serve him right.' You said, leaving the mall with your two brothers and went to Mcdonalds

'What you want?' Your mother asked 'I want the 20 pieces of McNuggets and the Mcflurries!'

You four are inside the car with you and them telling your mother about the whole event as she brutally calls him names. 'Oh Sebastian texted me..'

'Just great!'

[greenfiend]

hi! I was rewatching 2x09 and there's a detail I can't figure out about the very last shot (the one where the camera spins to show us the UD version of the gym from the outside.) Some of the lights from the ball inside are lit, but s4 confirmed it's possible for light sources (or at least their glow) in the UD to 'sync' when turned on in the right side up, even if they were not there or didn't exist in 11/6/83. So far so good, but what about the cars in the parking lot from december (13/15/18th? I can't see the poster) being in the exact same position in the UD?

I took some ss but i'm not sure if you can see the cars that clearly

Ig it could depend on whether the (blue) UD is a snapshot of the right side up or if it's will's headspace here, so idk.

Interesting find here!

I think it's entirely possible that different aspects of the UD are stuck at different times.

When Will vanished, he caused time to be stuck in Nov 6, 1983 (likely at 8:15 just like "Little Boy" the atomic bomb did to time pieces in Hiroshima...)

It seems like when a gate opens- time freezes. And whenever gates open, it seems like it's due to a (metaphorical) nuclear reaction.

When Will vanishes, "nuclear fission" occurs (just like "Little Boy" post about that comparison here). Nuclear fission = splitting (atoms) = releases a large amount of energy (+ toxic nuclear waste) = opens a gate. I talk about that in this post.

When Vecna and the MF target their victims, "nuclear fusion" occurs.

Nuclear fusion = fusing (atoms) together. Vecna/MF "combines" with their victims (they "join" him) = releasing a large amount of energy (no toxic waste!) = opens a gate.

(Credit to @willbyersabyss for this find).

This also occurred with the MF in ST3 during the movie theatre scene. That scene showed the MF "combining" with the rats while Will appears triggered while on a "movie date" with Mike. More "nuclear fusion".

(Credit to @threemanoperation for this find).

This occurs yet AGAIN in ST3 while the MF is again fusing with its victims.

MF fuses with its victims = fireworks go off (release of energy) and time stops (represented as the Ferris Wheel(er) stopping).

So basically, when a gate opens it requires a lot of energy. Nuclear reactions release a lot of energy. And as we know from Hiroshima, a nuclear reaction can essentially "freeze time" by stopping time pieces (like a watch) from functioning. Thus they are using this as a metaphor here.

As for the snowball scene, could it be possible that a gate was opening up at that specific time? Yes it could be. Lets think of the possible narrative reason, the supernatural reason and the symbolic one:

We learn in ST3 that the Russians have been working on opening a gate in Hawkins for a while now.

We don't really see much of Will after he dances with that girl, but we do know from the original script that he looks over (longingly) at Mike.

The Snow Ball... "he likes it cold", feeling forced to dance with a girl... "Every Breath You Take" plays (a song about an abusive stalking ex...) We can make the assumption that Will may have been triggered again at that dance. When I say "triggered" I mean this on two levels: 1. Supernatural stuff arising again. 2. Memories of Will's father resurfacing.

I hope I'm making sense!

And yes... I did do some research on nuclear physics for this theory...

[real-reulbbr-band]

Guys, Bustopher deserves better, so here's what I'd imagine he'd do in the rest of the show if he didn't disappear from existence after his song. (hypothetically)

(Reul totally doesn't have a white rose and mole Bustopher bias.....)

quick clarifications before we start!

Bustopher won't be in his song costume when "old Deuteronomy" happens or for the rest of the show. So, imagine him in a sort of chorus costume in this, like Jennyanydots after the Gumbie Cat number. (like the image below but with more white areas)

But because he's fancy, he would be dressed this way if it were entirely up to me, and I could choose. It would also somewhat lessen the shock factor (at least for me) associated with Grizabella wearing clothing when nearly everyone else is completely naked. Instead of dressing like a huge, stuffy coat with a giant tail, he wears suspenders in my imagination, and the look is still suitable for the remainder of the performance.

Also note that Asparagus and Gus are different characters to me, and that applies here. Sorry if that's bothersome.

ACT 1

"Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer"

He shows back up at the end of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer after the two are caught and everyone's surrounding them; he's still quite shaken, thinking they are Macavity, and so he hides behind Asparagus, who's walking towards the crowd, clearly annoyed at the two. When he does get close enough, Bustopher peeks at the action before stepping away from his fellow tom and huffing, crossing his arms. He collects the "swag bags" (seriously, why are they called that?) off Munkustrap and Alonzo and waddles off stage. Where the actor would then change into the chorus costume.

"Old Deuteronomy"

The Jellicles sing old Deuteronomy, and around midway, Bustopher shows up again, leaning by the oven. He smiles at how enthusiastic everyone is over the arrival of the jellicle leader but isn't too pushy to greet old Deuteronomy himself.

(In my headcanon, the two run into each other outside of the junkyard, often due to Bustopher being "the cat about town" and Old Deuteronomy being known in his poem for sitting in the street on market day.) Bustopher simply greets him with an acknowledging nod and smile as he arrives.

"The Awefull battle of the Pekes & the Pollicles"

He sits at Deuteronomy's side, just behind where Victoria does during the number. Despite being close by, Bustopher isn't as generous as old Deuteronomy is when it comes to the Pekes & Pollicles performance. Not in a cruel sense, but more like he can't help but raise a brow and laugh as everyone keeps messing around. Maybe even sparing old Deuteronomy some telling glances when the Rumpus cat shows up late.

(I skipped the Jellicle Ball because I honestly don't think he'd do anything noteworthy if he were to be one of the dancers or realistically off stage like Old D and Gus.)

ACT 2

"The Moment of happiness"

If we're doing a transitional thing, I think he'd purposefully sit next to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer just to make sure they don't start giggling during the song or messing around with everyone else. He'd probably shush them, though, and gesture for them to sit. Other than that, he'd listen and repeat like everyone else.

"Gus the theatre cat"

I think it would be funny if Bustopher sat next to Skimbleshanks on top of the car boot. Probably to catch up and enjoy the song, but when Skimble inevitably starts falling asleep, Bustopher feels offended on behalf of Gus and Jellylorum and tries to wake him by bapping Skimble's paw or tail. Skimble still falls asleep, however, and Bustopher simply rolls his eyes and enjoys the rest of the song. It's bittersweet at the end of the day, but enjoyable none the less.

"Skimbleshanks the railway cat"

Bustopher's a little cross with Skimble after what happened before but gets over it quite quickly and joins the other elder cats watching on the tire. I think it would be kind of funny if Bustopher wasn't aware they were going to be building a train (because his visits are occasional) and sort of got roped in to holding the umbrella, or better yet, one of the pipes. He's confused and keeps turning to the cat beside him for guidance, but comes to enjoy it. Even when the train breaks down.

"Macavity's appearance"

Macavity appears. Bustopher out. I want him to be the first one to run off too. It could be a nice running joke. But yeah, I think he'd leave before old Deuteronomy even gets kidnapped; he's that scared of the red bastard.

"Magical Mr. Mistoffelees"

Going from Mistoffelees being an eager fan and respecting Bustopher so much as if he were family, I think it would definitely encourage him more if Bustopher was cheering him on along with everyone else. I think it would be nice if he stood next to Jenny here, after she's disappointed about not being selected, Mistoffelees's assistant Bustopher gives her a pat on the paw, and they sit and enjoy the magic and celebrate with everyone once Deut's back.

"Memory"

I think this is the first time Bustopher's seen Grizabella? So you bet he's taking longer to turn around and look her in the eyes. Other than that, that pretty much had the same reaction as every other cat in that scene. Anyway, when Grizabella is welcomed back, I think it would be nice if Bustopher shook her paw instead of just brushing against it. "But Reul, they're cats!! Tugger does hip thrusts and fist pumps. Bustopher can shake paws."

Anyhow, that's all I got for him, but I think with different actors, this process and how he interacts with the jellicles could be very diverse and interesting. I'm all for reimagings, and this post was kind of an excuse to do that or a "what if," especially with a cat as underappreciated as Bustopher, which is no doubt because of his lack of stage time. I think a few more moments with him could really make him more memorable and justify him having a song rather than cutting him and his song completely.

for you: @kirbyssketchbook

[blueink01]

Ch. 2: Immediate Murder Professionals

The Next Day at the Imp City-

The Chapter starts at the I.M.P building that recides in the Imp city in Pride ring. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background.

The scene transitions to a closed door labeled "IMP Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. Inside, Blitzo is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees

"Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here.." He looks at Moxxie.

"Moxxie." Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.

"Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?" Millie leans over the table with her eyes sparkling. "What about a car wash?"

"We're in hell, Mills, no one gives a fuck about clean cars." Yn replies to her idea. Blitzo thinks for a second.

"Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?" Blitzo waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out. Moxxie rolls his eyes.

"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Blitzo wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder.

"Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now." He pushes Moxxie away.

"Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?" Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, Yn snaps a persons neck so that is spins around a few times before falling off, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Everyone is watching the TV, with Loona, Yn, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.

"Ahh, those were the good times." Blitzo smiled.

"I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches." Moxxie said.

"Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!" Blitzo explained.

"People love musicals, sir." Millie added.

"That's true." Yn agreed.

"Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical." He does jazz hands.

"Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?"

"Sir--"

"Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside."

"Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?"

"Wow, Mox. That's fucked up, I thought you were a classy man." Yn said in a flirty tone.

"I-- What?" Mille leans closer to Moxxie in a flity way.

"I thought I knew you." She playfully sticks her tongue out at Moxxie as she blushes and rolls her eyes affectionately.

"I can't believe you, Moxxie!," She tearfully holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it. "After I made you employee of the month!" Yn chuckles while looking at the photo of Moxxie.

"Okay, sir! I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!" Moxxie said.

"I liked it." Millie supporting Blitzo.

"Me too. It was good." Yn added.

"Do not--" He points at Yn and Millie. "Do not agree with him in front of me!"

In the I.M.P. commercial-

"Hi, there! I'm Blitz! The "o" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!" He gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears. Two pictures of Blitzo in different scenarios show while he speaks. The first shows he wearing two top hats through her horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears. The second shows Blitzo wearing an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it.

"Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got F**KED over by someone else?!" The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzo holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!".

"After lovingly killing my wife for f**king the delivery man, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could stick it to that yappy jogger who saw me hiding the body!" The Demon Guy Shares.

Blitzo is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a pentagram while Yn is putting guns and drugs into bags. While Blitzo speaks, his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie run off in surprise. She tosses the grimoire aways as she walks up to the portal.

"Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!" He falls backwards into the portal. The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle vlavs in the background.

"~When you want somebody gone,~" A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.

"~and you don't want to wait too long~" Yn, Moxxie, Blitzo, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzo holds her arms out as Moxxie holds up her rifle, Yn holds a cane sword in a slashing motion while smiling and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The four together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.

"~call the Immediate Murder Professionals!~" Yn, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The four cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying.

"~Hand grenade or cyanide,~" Blitzo is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note and Yn is throwing bags of drugs around the room.

"~We'll make it look like suicide~" Blitzo is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, Yn is cutting someone's limbs off and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.

"~The Immediate Murder Professionals!~" The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzo creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. He is followed by Yn, Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.

"~We do our job so well,~" The four come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves.

"~Because, we come straight out from Hell!~" The I.M.P. trio suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. A female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion/fear.

One bearded man, however, has his head laid back as he sleeps with earbuds in. Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Yn is covering Moxxie's eyes, and Blitzo examines a pair of panties.

"~We'll kill your husband or your wife~" Blitzo stabs someone tied to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression.

"~We'll even let you keep the knife~" A quick sequence then shows the four assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the four are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman looking at her phone from behind.

"~We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession--~" Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.

"AUUUGH!" The boy collapses as Moxie looks on in shock. Yn, Blitzo and Millie turn their eyes to Moxxie in surprise.

"Wow, Mox."

-Time Skip in Hospital-

The boy is wheeled into a hospital operating room on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse

Pink-haired Nurse: "Doctor, he's not responding!"

Blue-haired Nurse: "Cool water, stat!" The pink-haired nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water, doing nothing but leave a large welt on his face.

Blue-haired Nurse: "It didn't do anything!" The boys tongue flops down from his mouth.

Doctor: "Dammit! I'm not losing another one." Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy.

Doctor: "CLEAR!" They all zap the boy and he wakes up with a gasp.

Doctor: "Holy shit! It actually worked." Yn, Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzo is reading a magazine, while Yn and Millie comfort Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard.

Doctor: "He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery." He looks up from clipboard.

Doctor: "Now, what insurance provider do you freaks have?"

"The fuck is insurance?" Yn quickly stands up and punches the doctor through a wall. Outside of the hospital a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, Yn, and Blitzo are holding on for dear life as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzo's foot. Blitzo slams his face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.

"~Kids die for freeeeeee!~"

Back at I.M.P.-

The scene cuts back to the boardroom. Yn, Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has her feet up and is watching a video on her phone of Moxie getting hurt

"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple." Moxxie jesters to Loona.

"Oh, sit on a d*ck, Moxxie." Loona replied still on her phone.

"YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d-- DO YOUR JOB!!" Moxxie yells.

"Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?! She didn't do anything wrooooong~" Blitzo hugs and nuzzles Loona, who snarls at him in response.

"...Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!" Moxxie insulted.

"She's not that bad." Yn said defending Loona.

"What?!" Moxxie yells, looking at Yn shocked while Loona smiles.

Flashback with Loona-

Loona sits at her desk, reading a magazine called "Monthly", Her desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone.

"Hello, I.M.P." Loona answers without even looking up from her magazine.

<Loona, I got stabbed! Call Yn or Mox-> Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation. Next, she is in Blitzo's office.

"Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'." he presents her with a gift.

"Is it a cure for syphilis?" Loona interrupted Blitzo figuring out what was in the present.

"I... Oh..."

"THEN, I DON'T WANT IT!" Loona snatches the present and angrily slams it on the floor.

"UGHHH!" A large swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and swarm Loona up to her neck.

"I'm sorry! It was spiders!" Blitzo is suddenly hiding outside of the office window.

"Goddammit." Yn walks over to Loona with a small box.

"If it's not the cure for syphilis, then don't bother."

"It is the cure." Yn said. She looks at the spiders, her eyes glowed yellow than red scaring the spiders away.

"It is?"

"Yeah." Yn hands her the box and she opens it seeing the cure. She hugs Yn while her tails is waving around.

"Now we can have some fun later~" Yn blushed heavy red at the thought.

Loona is then shown at her desk, watching an online video of Charlie performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow".

"Um, c- excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss.?" Moxxie approaches her with a flyer for "Chub B Gone".

"No."

"Wha-- Why- Why would anyone send me this?"

"C'mon.." She looks up at Moxxie. "You know why."

The next scene shows Loona rummaging through the break room fridge.

"Whoever left the fucking... avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now!" Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. She rips off the lid and drinks the salad.

"Why would you drink on a work night?" Millie questioned.

"I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!" Loona angrily responded back finishing up the salad. Yn and Moxxie enter the room and notices Loona with her box.

"Isn't that my lunch?" Loona drops the box on the floor.

"Y'know what?! I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some-" She kicks the box at Moxxie, knocking her out of the room and surprising Yn and Millie.

"-f**king steam!" She picks up Yn and moves her to the side. Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Loona runs up to a succubus lady passing by on the other side of the street, pushing her baby in a stroller.

Loona kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief. The scene transitions to Loona at her desk, telling Yn and Blitza about a caller.

"Blitz! Yn! That clingy, rich asshole is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! He sounds a little DTF-y." Yn, Blitzo and Moxxie are standing by a water cooler. Blitzo throws his cup of water on the floor.

"Oh, GOD, it was one time! If we hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world." Moxxie stares in stunned silence.

"..You what?"

Flashback in a Bedroom-

Stolas is sleeping naked in bed. He is hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand. Yn puts on her clothes and she cracks her back.

"How can a bird be that thirsty and kinky?" Yn question, she can feel her lower half of the body is sore.

"Got the booook, got the booook! Got this fuckin' heavy book!" Blitzo keep repeating himself.

Blitzo reaches Stolas's balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. Grunting, he attempts to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends both his and the grimoire falling forward off of the balcony. Yn runs towards him and grabs his tail but she too falls off the balcony.

"Fuck!" "Oh- Oh, SHIT!!" Yn and Blitzo lans on the cake that Stolas's wife and her friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them.

"Oof! Sorry, we fucked your husband."

"Sorry for the cake." Blitzo picks up Yn and runs off.

End of Flashback-

"BLIIIITZ! NN!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Yn yelled back as she pinches the bridge of her nose and a hand on her hip.

"WE HEARD YOU ALREA-!" Yn and Blitzo are in his office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie while Yn is sitting as far away from Blitzo as possible knowing that she's gonna hear some fucked up stuff.

"Sooooo, what can we do you for this time, Stolas?" Stolas is shown talking on his phone from a fancy mansion.

"There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists."

"Doesn't it?!" Yn asked.

"Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~"

"Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense." Blitzo replied.

"You know what happens when I'm lonely, Nn and Blitzy?"

"Oh boy... Here it comes..." Yn said as she is leaning back.

"God-f**kin'-dammit." Blitzo pulls his phone away and talks to himself.

"When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that huge **** of yours, ****** Nn's ****** and lick all of your ****, before taking out You're ******, and ***** with more teeth until we're screaming ****** like two FUCKING babies--!" Yn is looking blankly at a wall while clawing her ears out. Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, on his phone Stolas name is listed as "creepy mouth (aka one night stand bird d*ck)" with a call total of 48 seconds. as he hangs up, a knock out noise plays.

He snaps his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, tosses said desk phone away, pulls out a blender, puts the cellphone pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.

"Eat this!" Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture.

"And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?"

"Yeah?" Loona raises her eyebrow as she says.

"Take my car and sh*t off it.." Yn said intensely.

In the Meeting Room-

"Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family." Loona looks up from her phone and briefly smiles, touched by Blitzo's words.

"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!" As Moxxie rants, Loona continues looking at her phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off.

"That is offensive! Without homeless people.." He walks over to window and raises blinds, "I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!" Blitzo puts his face up against the window, cracking the glass, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Money helps. Satan bless." A succubus is on her cellphone and turns away from the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.

"While we're on the subject of "family", can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?" Moxxie looks at Blitza annoyed.

"Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal!" Millie said with hand jesters.

"Overreacting much." Glass shattering noise plays as Moxxie makes a stocked face.

"Excuse me... WHAT?!" He looks at them both.

Flashback-

Moxxie and Millie are preparing dinner in their kitchen

"Honey, can you get me the butter?"

"Sure, sweetie." Millie opens the fridge door and finds Blitzo inside as he hands her the gross, viscous butter.

"Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!" Millie giggles. Moxxie throws the diced carrots into the soup.

"What's funny, honey?"

"Really impressive wordplay."

"WHAT THE--?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?"

Later that evening, shows a building, Inside their Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzo standing on him, looking him right in the eyes.

"Whatcha dreamin' about?"

"I was dreaming my parents were being murdered while Yn is destroying my and Millie's a**es, but now... I'd like to go back to that."

In the next scene, Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts. "~Of all the imps in Hell,~"

"~it's for her that I fell~"

"~It's for him that I fell~"

"~Oh, Millie~" They close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitza outside the window holding a camcorder.

"Are you fucking filming us right now?!"

Flashback Ended-

"Just... stop... doing that!" Moxxie scratch the table.

"I don't see what the issue is! There somethin' you don't want me seein'?" Blitzo shrugs.

"No!" Moxxie's eye twitches in anger.

"You a baby-wenner-hammer?" Yn and Loona snicker at the same time as Blitzo talks.

"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!" Millie lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder.

"Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!"

"I AM CALM!" Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzo.

"Shh-shh-shh. There, there." Millie pats his head.

"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff.." He motions his hands to imply sexual activity, "...you do outside work hours. So, don't... judge me!"

"Oh, I do judge you, ma'am! Quite a lot, actually!"

"Mox, he's our boss!"

"No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive? retarded" Blitzo smudged.

"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?" Blitzo leans towards Moxxie.

"It actually does." Loona then jumps in on the confrontation.

"The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!" She looks away from her phone to glare at Moxxie. Millie slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger.

"No, he's not, you BITCH!" She flips Loona off. Loona growls at Millie.

"This is priceless." Yn leans back in her chair while eating popcorn, enjoying the show.

"Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!"

"Yes, I am!"

"You guys are all f**king a**holes." Yn, Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona's eyes all widen in surprise. They look at Eddie, the boy Moxxie accidentally shot earlier. Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.

"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!"

"Ugh, this company is such a mess!" Moxxie pinches bridge of his nose.

"Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit."

"Nobody was talking about that, Blitz."

"Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?"

"Sure... Let's go with that.." Yn said.

"It's been a literal hell.." He detaches the tubes of the heart monitor, "having to pretend to be paralyzed so you f**ksh*ts wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want death!" He points at Blitzo.

"You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"

"Hey, now! That's not very-" Eddie interrupts Moxxie, intimidating him, "If I wanted to hear from a spineless jacka**, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some sh*t." Millie slams her hand on the table, the other gesturing at Moxxie.

"That's my husband you're talkin' to!"

"That's your husband?!" Moxxie and Millie snarl at Eddie, "I figured you for a sl*t. But, I didn't know you needed d*ck that bad!"

"And You!" He points at Loona.

"What? What about me?"

"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person." Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at her phone.

"Wow. Y'know, kid, you are a huge piece of sh*t." Yn said.

"Yeah. He's kind of a piece of sh*t." Everyone in Union agreed.

Eddie looks at Yn, "Don't do it..." he points at him.

"You-" Loona's eyes widen as she receives a text message.

"Oh, f**k! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all."

"Who?"

Him." Loona points at Eddie.

"Him?" Yn looks At Eddie.

"Me?"

"Yup." Loona responds smugly, without looking up.

"They wanted us to kill an actual child?"

"That's what they're sayin'."

"Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God."

"АHHАННННН!" Before he can shoot Eddie, Yn makes fire slowly climb up Eddie's body, he screams as he's skin is slowly being turned into ash.

Yn lifts her hand making Eddie crashe into the wall, all of his skin gone from his body, he lands on the table while his eyes turn to Xs.

"Damn it, Lovely! I wanted to do that!" He throws his pistol onto the floor.

-Time Skip-

Then blood covers the screen, then reveals Yn, Blitza and Moxxie kicking Eddie's corpse, Millie stabbing him, and Loona recording everything on her phone.

"Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!" Blitzo and Moxxie are shown wearing full hazard gear, dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag.

"So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one f**kin' cares." Blitzo hugs Yn, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona, the latter's phone flying out of his hands.

"Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully." He wraps his tail lovingly around the group. The group all smile as the scene cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says, "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"

"Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at-" Eddie mother is interested by a bag full of Eddie's bloody body bag suddenly falls into her arms.

"OHHH!" Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Yn, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal. Blitzo smiles and waves.

"You're welcome!"

"You're a sh*t mom, ya wh*re!" The four disappear in the portal as it closes.

~Ending with a Cut To Moxxie singing to Millie~

Previous Page: Ch. 1: The Hazbin Hotel

Next Page: Ch. 3: The Murder Family

Beginning: Front Cover

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Welcome to Absolute Zero Day aka What the hell is happening day aka I've never felt this dumb Wednesday.

Wow, I really thought last week I had reached peak levels of "what the hell is happening now" but thank the heavens for a new episode, because just when I thought I was done complaining, this weeks episode showed up to remind me just how crazy I actually am for sticking to this.

Well... this episode was certainly something. Like I suspected last week, we spent a considerable time watching young Ongsa cry. Which is, you know, well...awful. I just can't, I feel nothing, my heart is frozen for this show and no amount of crying will thaw it.

And for whoever is reading this, guess what? We were not done with the time travel. No, no no. If at first you don't succeed, or you think you haven't because you didn't actually stay in the present long enough to confirm that your husband was actually dead before you made the journey to the past to fix what you weren't sure needed fixing, and then in that attempt completely destroying the young version of said husband, so that he could change the future, that, again, you weren't sure needed changing, and then he didn't change anything at all, even though when you went back to your present and are apparently alone, crying in your bed, the past versions date just like they did before. So why you crying? And then somehow just before the accident Adult Ongsa is visited by Ongsa of xmas future to warn him to not attempt to avoid the car accident because if he doesn't then adult Soon actually dies and he will get so sad. So then this adult version of Ongsa wakes up in the body of young Ongsa just before he meets young Soon, so he never goes to the theatre, he never meets young Soon, he just stalked him instead and cried a lot. And since he never met him, then adult Soon never traveled back in time, so the coffee shop lady never met him and Young Soon never talked to him on the balcony, so although Ongsa has now experience 2 different timelines he's the only one who remembers everything. except that NO, both young Soon and coffee shop lady seem to have echoes of the other timeline, and also the old man still has the letter that Adult Soon left with him when he traveled back in time, even though that not really possible, cause the fact that Young Ongsa stopped them from meeting supposedly erased Adult Soon from this timeline, because if they never met, they never spent 10 years together that would coincide with the celebration of their 10th year anniversary which would lead to the accident which led to the first time travel journey which led to this whole show being in my life.

(I just wrote non stop, so if there are mistakes forgive me, but also the fact that it's a confusing mess illustrates my point)

[autisticempathydaemon]

Thank you for the opportunity for a Redacted Match-Up! Your questions were too much fun to answer.

I'm fixed on the reprise of "Way Down Hadestown" from Hadestown. The harmonies of the Fates are addicting to hear.

Enneagram Type 8

I don't think I've ever watched a gargantuan Youtube Video Essay, but I'm not sure that would be my flavor. I use youtube for cute animal videos, music, recipes, and comedy videos.

I didn't have an imaginary childhood friend (at least that I recall), but I was imagining stories from a young age.

To fall asleep, I'm a big fan of the "play out scenes/stories you'd like inside your head" method. It's a lot of fun. I think of it as a form of dreaming, especially now that I only rarely ever remember my dreams.

This one is hard because I quite like my name! Hmmm... I like the name Josephine. I think that's the one I'd pick.

"Comforted by Your Feisty Werewolf Boyfriend" is my favorite audio. I like how Milo is so tender with Sweetheart, encouraging them to open up about their day without having to exchange their independence for his comfort.

Guy. For me personally, I feel like there's nothing special about him, like I don't know who he is. All I know is that he's in love with Honey, and that's great, but it's like there's nothing deeper to him, nothing exciting about him.

I could recite The Princess Bride in my sleep.

I would love to be pals with Avior!

I don't know if this counts, but I start to have to search for words when I get extra tired. I'll just "um" and "uh" myself into oblivion, refusing to settle for a substandard synonym even if I can't think of the word I want.

A gas station and drink combo? Is this a regional thing? lol I'm not sure I understand this one. My favorite drink is hot water but I've never ordered it at a gas station. What should I add to it to make it a combo? Ummm... I also like pretzels! So, hot water and pretzels!?

Lots of showtunes to get hyped up!

Stupid, poorly written, predictable Hallmark-esque, made-for-TV holiday movies. I'm not sure why I like them. They are fun and cute and no matter what, you know exactly what's going to happen.

What else? What else?! I need a banger of a fact to end this incredible survey you've crafted... My favorite animal is the zebra.

Thanks again for the offer for a match-up! If you've read through this and none of the Redacted Bois strike you as a good fit (or for whatever reason- I'm sure these are time-consuming to do!), do not worry at all about skipping this one. No problem at all! Hope you are having a great day/night!

<3

Type Eights are truly some of my favorites types of people. There’s a confidence and strength and determination that comes with an Eight, that I think pairs well and is wonderfully tempered by the easygoing charm of a Type 9w8 like Asher.

That’s why David picked Asher as his Beta and why I think he’d be a lovely match for you. Where you and David and any Eight might think that you’ve got to do everything or it won’t get done right, Asher is a lovely reminder that other people, that he can be depended on and that you don’t need to fix everything alone.

Also, none of the Redacted bois- except for Guy- strike me as musical theatre kids, but Asher is definitely the most open-minded to getting in the car for a road trip and listening to the Ride the Cyclone album in order.

Song:

You take me in your arms/ And suddenly there's sunlight all around me/ Everything bright and warm/ And shining like it never did before/ And for a moment I forget/ Just how dark and cold it gets

I wanted to be original and find a cool, obscure showtune that you definitely didn’t already know, but this one just fits too well! The vulnerability and insecurity and joy of loving and being loved by a boy as sweet, warm, and giving as sunshine- it’s also one of my favorite duets~

Runner-Ups:

David was a thunker as a second, because I think he’s a Six, and Sixes and Eights can have this lovely “us against the world” strength and mentality I really admire. Geordi, who I headcanon as a Type Two, would really benefit from your presence and good influence in his life and would also love to watch your Hallmark movies with you.

Note: I would never skip you 💖

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

[cowshampoo]

I don't know which of my mutuals are comfortable with it but I'm making a post for y'all right now to express my appreciation in a silly way and if you don't like it tell me how I can express it for you otherwise. Let me learn yalls love languages and let me love you.

Anyways here goes. (this got way too long so I'm putting it under the cut)

Mutuals, I am kissing you on the mouth (silly). I'm in love with you. We are going to the grocery/convenience store and buying candy and snacks and stuff. I'm making you dinner. I'm playing with your hair and giving you hugs. We are cuddling under a heated weighted blanket. We are baking cookies. You have eggs and sugar and fuzz in your hair and I pick it out like monkeys do with bugs. I'm giving you a blanket or my hoodie when you're cold. We're both too tired to cook so I'll trim the chicken and chop the veggies and you do the seasoning and the oven. We're trading life stories and getting high. We play with our OCs like dolls and watch cartoons or shitty TV. We sing along to old rock songs and sit in silence. We gush over our cute pets and plants you tell me which fictional character you want to screw the most. We make our own constellations with a bag of old glow-in-the-dark stars we found in the basement. We make stories about those constellations. We're dancing silly whiteboy bad style. We're battling with nerf guns and lightsabers. We put on noise cancelling headphones when the noisy ass cars are dragging down the street. We find the neighbor's outdoor cat (he escaped again) and pet him and take pictures. We're getting drunk and riding the bus home. Hopefully we don't get lost because we can't afford an uber. We go volunteering, maybe at the shelter, and we fantasize about adopting the animals that cling to us the most, or maybe the ones that are scared and hiding from us because we want them to not be scared anymore.

You're a mother struggling to get her stroller out the bus door so I pick up the other end to help you out. You thank me with a smile and I get back on the bus because this isn't my stop but I love you and your kid and your kid's otter stuffie. You're strangers to me.

We get heart-shaped swag glasses from the condom manufacturer's tent at the pride parade festival thing. We trade lipsticks and I do your eyebrows.

We go to an empty movie theatre and talk and dance and get separate popcorn because you always add too much butter.

I give you the yellow skittles because they're your favorite and my least favorite.

We go to a haunted house and you squeeze my hand when you get to scared and I make a joke to make it a little less scary.

I go through old jewelry boxes during spring cleaning and find a bracelet I know you would love. Maybe you don't wear it but you keep it anyways because you know I love you.

There's a hairdye stain on the shower curtain from when we got a little too wild. It won't come out in the wash and I'm glad.

I sew patches on your jacket and you buy me lunch.

You help me pack up my things. There's not enough room in my new apartment for all my stuffed animals. I give you my giant Squirtle because it's your favorite and I know you'll take good care of him.

You break your favorite coffee mug. I don't have real gold but I glue it back together and paint the seams with glitter kintsugi style. It won't hold water anymore so it sits on your desk holding your pens.

We go to the thrift store - I try on a silly hat and learn the hard way that the ribbon on it is held in place by sharp pins. It's cold out and we don't have gloves so I hold your hands and try to warm them up with my own. The bus is late and it's raining and cold so we wait in the 7/11 and hope the bus takes its time.

You're clawing your way out of a rough patch but your room is a disaster so I help you clean it. You're embarrassed by the sheer amount of instant food wrappers and dirty dishes on the floor but I don't mind.

You call me drunk because your date ditched you and you don't feel safe heading home alone. I pick you up with icecream and a movie and we watch it in our pajamas. You don't want to wash the makeup off your face so I bribe you with a fancy face scrub and we treat ourselves well for the night.

We play old videogames we've had for years that are only fun together. We go out stargazing. You're nervous about a date and I help you pick out an outfit and hype you up for it. If your partner doesn't treat you well I threaten to kick their ass even though we both know I'd lose in a fight. I might just do it anyways.

We go to the skatepark and I try to learn to skateboard. It's not going well. We mostly sit at the top of the ramp and talk. I tell you about a game you don't really like but I do and you tell me about a band I don't like but you do and we listen to each other. We disagree on things and we have our own opinions and we're people but we love each other and we talk nice and hanging out is fun.

I text you after months of not talking and we get coffee together. We're still friends and we're still in love.

I tell you that I'm in love with you and you know I mean it. I love you as a sibling, a friend, a stranger, a mentor. I love you and I want you to know that. I love you and I want to do all these things with you. I love you and I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. I love you and I'll love you tomorrow and I'll love you when we're strangers again.

I hope this makes sense. I'm rambling now. I'm trying to remind myself that I'm in love with things.

Remember that you love things, too. I think it helps.

[bitchfitch]

"I think you did a good job. They loved you!" Silas tries to reassure him. The streets are mostly empty this time of night but Silas still barely flicks his eyes over to the balled up vamp under his coat in the seat beside him before returning his full attention to the road ahead.

Chase doesn't respond, just curls tighter on himself under the coat.

"There's always the next audition if they didn't, Bats. There's always a show going in this town and you're something special. If they didn't see that then it'll just be another show runner's gain."

"They offered me the lead," Chase eventually sighs. His voice is tight and low. A mixture of sorrow and old habits to protect it after singing that loud for that long. "Said my voice was perfect for her."

"That's fantastic right?" Silas tried to piece together why that would be an issue. He wasn't someone who regularly went to operas, nor had he had the inclination to research this one before offering to drive Chase to the audition.

"Her." he clarified. The one syllable dripping with venom.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They fall to silence. Another car somewhere in the distance roared through the quiet night.

"Am I overreacting?"

"You know I can't answer that, Chase."

"Yes you can. You can tell me if I'm being a shitty stuck up primadonna for refusing a good role just because it's not the exact one I wanted."

"I don't think that's the issue at hand."

"It is. The reason I'm refusing it doesn't matter. Cross dressing has been part of theater as long as it's existed. I would be far from the first man to tolerate-" he cuts himself off with frustrated groan, not even being able to finish the thought it made his skin crawl.

Silas didn't know what to say. He didn't have the life experiences to even come close to understanding the turmoil his lover was in. He didn't have to to still ache deep in his chest over it.

"Will they let you take a few days to think it over?"

"No. They were auditioning because the lead and her understudy both got arrested and a couple others all bailed on them. The show is tomorrow. I told them no."

"Well then it's settled isn't it? We can look around for other auditions-"

"And they'll turn me down or offer me more girl and child roles. My voice is too fucking high to ever be considered for a man's."

"Don't theatres do gender blind castings all the time? I heard about a Shakespeare-"

"Shakespeare and opera are different. Most roles are cast gender blind. But they aren't register and tone blind. You can't replace a tenor or baritone with a high soprano."

"I... Why not?" Silas asked it as gently as he could, not knowing the lingo well enough to keep up.

"It would be like replacing a guitar with a ukulele." Chase sighs. "It would ruin the entire show if you didn't change everything to work with it."

"Oh... Are there shows with soprano male leads?"

"Yeah. And none of them want a voice that sounds like a girl's."

"I don't think you sound like a girl. I think you sound like you."

"I sound like a girl, and because of that fucking-" he growls to himself again, "That fucking Cunt Ass- That fucking monster- there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I'll always look like this and always sound like this."

Again they fell to silence. Silas wanted to say he quite liked the way Chase looks and sounds. That there was a part of him that was deeply greatful for the tragedy that had befallen Chase all those years ago because it meant they got to meet despite the century that had elapsed between their births. He knew it would do nothing to soothe him, so he kept the sentiment to himself.

"Do you want to go to the lake? I have my razor... It can be like a picnic. Meal under the stars. We can leave the radio on and put the roof down." he offered a distraction instead.

"Can we just go to your place and watch some shit movie until you have to go to bed?"

"Yeah, of course," he put his blinker on despite there being no one around them before making the turn at the next intersection. They'd been going the opposite direction and needed to make a U-turn, but Silas hated U-turns for reasons he couldn't remember. He'd just loop the block. "Would you still like a meal?"

"Why are you offering it so much? New fetish?" Chase prodded as he finally sat up and poked his head out from under the coat. Though he kept it wrapped around himself.

"No. My foster mom just always said the best thing to do for someone hurting was to feed them, and I don't know what else to do for you right now."

"Thanks. But I don't want to think about what kind of monster I am tonight."

"Understood. Do you want to stop at a gas station and get some ice cream then?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to 6/8/2023 (song notes under cut)

spot. link//yt link

Laura Les - Haunted: haunted. by laura les.

Death Grips - Hacker: nothing super unique to say about it other than that it's genuinely just one of the best songs. like probably ever. we know this

Limp Bizkit - Clunk: smiles. it's me. clunk is nowhere near my favorite song on three dollar bill y'all but it's like. the best of the bad songs. it never could have been a single bc it doesn't have the strength and the hook is wimpy as fuck but i have fun with it :) i like the part where fred says clunk a bunch of times and i like the breakdown :) come closer i am normal about this album

Ada Rook - TRU U (Live at ELECTROPUNKz 2023): ah, rook's performance at electropunkz. another thing that i am normal about. i believe i've professed my love for the album this song is from before, so i'll save that ramble, but i had a lot of fun with the live ep here. and tru u is such a fucking banger i love every second of it, from the silly anime sample at the beginning to the little pause in the last chorus where the word "death" intrudes. i've said before: ada rook makes the music that i wish i made. this remains true

Danny Burstein & Jessica Hecht - Do You Love Me?: i've had Theatre on the Brain for the past week or so, which led me to listen to the soundtrack to a show that my high school did (although i didn't work on that show myself, i knew people who did). fiddler on the roof is a good show imo, and while i don't really feel qualified to talk about some of the more complex subject matter of a lot of the play, this song is relatively accessible and also drives me a little crazy. i just can't get over the careful, straight-faced profession of love between two characters who never considered before that their marriage might be anything more than a practical and social necessity. it's a tribute to the fact that sometimes love is unglamorous, sometimes it's really as bland as spending all your time with someone just because they're there and while that might not be the fairy tale we all like to imagine, it doesn't make the love worthless. tevye and golde SAY that it doesn't change a thing, but i don't think we're meant to believe them. it doesn't change their often grim material lives and daily realities, true, but i like to think that knowing there's love between them will make the rest of their days just that tiny bit sweeter. i'm so normal about this

Nirvana - Pennyroyal Tea (Live on MTV Unplugged): links to this post. it's just so crazy to me. we had five or so years of kurt cobain screeching the most agonized poetry the music industry has ever seen, cutting through the bullshit of shiny happy pop music and voicing the blood and death and sickness of an entire generation, and now they're just remembered as that one old band who did the song you hear people playing at guitar center. i command of you. actually really listen to this band, take the time to go through some deep cuts, listen to the weird little eps and bonus tracks and shit. there's so much to uncover. this song came on shuffle at one point and i just was floored by it all once again, so it's here as representative of the sentiment

Cab Calloway - St. James' Infirmary: i've been obsessed with an old betty boop cartoon that features this song, which i put in the youtube playlist. you might have seen a clip from it making some rounds on tumblr, but the full thing is worth a watch. cab calloway was known for his flamboyant performances, but all that energy takes on kind of a dark, unsettling tone when placed in the context of the moderately-fucked-up cartoon. good stuff

Billy Joel - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song): i've never been much of a billy joel fan but i've felt the need to explore more of his stuff after getting into this one. it came on the radio in the car and i was on an easygoing road so i got the chance to really LISTEN to it, y'know. like i've probably heard it in passing a million times, and my dad and i would always make fun of the "heart atTACK ACK ACK ACK ACK" part, but when i really listened to it... it's a damn good song! got that earnest, heart-aching singer-songwriter realness. who knew!

Skee-Lo - I Wish: TWO new todd videos since the last WILT, so you know that shit is making an appearance. i genuinely really love this song, i think it's so fun and creative with an *amazing* sample, i kinda wish skee-lo had gotten a little better than he did. you should follow my nu metal tournament blog, because i'm gonna put a bunch of other non-nu metal polls up when the bracket's done, and skee-lo is gonna make an appearance. i need more skee-lo warriors, basically. that rabbit in a hat thing is bullshit though

Caravan - The Dog, The Dog, He's At It Again: this is a find from charlotte charlottan's "Intro to Prog" playlist that i immediately fell in love with. it's so floaty and lovely, while managing to both gesture towards a wide variety of themes AND be catchy as all hell. it's good song, basically. i know nothing about caravan so that's basically it, but it's even got dog in the title :V

Parkway Drive - Boneyards (Live): it doesn't technically count as a repeat bc this is the live version!!!! i just love this shit so much. relistening to horizons after having not heard it for so long was such a breath of fresh air (this was like 3 months ago and i'm still talking about it lmao). i love the big stupid breakdown so much, boneyards has nearly permanently entered my rotation of songs to imagine myself performing. i also just love to imagine like. picture going to some punk or metal festival around the time horizons came out, and parkway is there, and your buddy is like yooo come on we GOTTA see these guys they fuckin kill live. and you're maybe not really familiar with them but you figure it's worth checking out. and they play this song and you're like damn yeah this is pretty good. and then the fucking breakdown happens!!!!!! i feel like you'd just be standing there and realize wow. i'm going to die in this pit. and that's really the feeling i'm pining for

Scatman John - Scatman's World: now some of you in the crowd may be familiar with our friend the scatman.... i've personally had my eyes opened to a whole slew of scatman hits that i never even knew about thanks to the enthusiasm of local scatman expert violet gec (hi violet!!!!!) and although this particular track is one i already knew of, i expect a lot of you might not know it. go ahead and take a step into scatman's world, baby! it's a beautiful place! and also the song will get stuck in your head despite your inability to mimic the sounds he makes!

underscores - Count of three (You can eat $#@!): i'm a pretty casual underscores fan, i just know songs here and there, but i do really like what i hear. count of three is SUCH an earworm, and i love a good "fuck you" song when it's done correctly. i also just appreciate the quality of the censoring job in the title. it's not perfect but there's effort... a lot of people just pick four random characters but here, $ obviously looks like S, # is similar to H, and so on. these are the kinds of things i think about

Bring Me The Horizon - AmEN!: continuing to ask the question of "what the hell are these guys doing ever and why does it sound good." first of all, we have to address the lil uzi feature. that makes... two? i think it's just two fuckin international pop stars that bmth have collaborated with. i mean, i know uzi is a rapper but considering rap's dominance in the pop sphere and their sheer popularity, i think i'm justified in calling a pop rapper a pop star. it's been said to death, but it's just crazy that these guys have become one of the biggest rock acts around considering where they started. as for the song itself, it's not like... my favorite? but it's cool, it's catchy. i don't find their lyrics nearly as impactful now as i did when 1. i was younger and 2. they wrote about suicide and nihilism and shit all the time. i guess the themes are still dark but it all just kinda washes over me now. i'm just here for the heavy heavy and the big chorus, and that's what i got. so i'm happy :)

Everclear - I Will Buy You A New LIfe: as you may have seen, i had a big sappy emotional moment for a few days at the end of last month, and that had me returning to my roots. post-grunge. a genre with no shortage of lame pop rock relationship tunes, including this one. i even made a playlist of sappy songs, of which this was one. i just like the idea of pledging all these expensive things to someone you love, but doing it as kind of a joke. like the sentiment is real, but you both know that's never gonna happen, because all you really have to offer is yourself. and hopefully that's enough. it's like if two princes by the spin doctors was less fun. i fuck with it mildly

Third Eye Blind - Jumper: that's right folks. not one, but TWO mellow and corny 90s rock tunes. i have nothing to say about this song other than that it's pretty good and, more importantly, you should watch the most recent trainwreckords video (told you we'd get both todd videos in here). i've even conveniently included that very video in the youtube playlist :) DO IT

Kesha - Eat The Acid: i listened to and enjoyed the new kesha album, but this single was definitely the song that stuck in my mind above all the others. it just made such an impression. even in her current era, i don't think i or anyone else expecting... this. it's very psychedelic, and while it doesn't completely deviate from pop by any means, i think it's a pretty bold step for her and i hope it pays dividends. i would be 100% down for more strange experimental kesha, i wanna see where this goes

Tina Turner - What's Love Got to Do with It: tina turner is featured on two WILTS in a row... if only the circumstances weren't so unfortunate. as i'm sure i said last time, she was a fantastic vocalist, and her biggest hit here gave her the space to really holler. i thought it was fitting as well to put this song right next to eat the acid, as both are the returning singles of women finally casting themselves free (or at least attempting to) of the figures that tied them down and abused them in the music industry. What's Love might reek of the 80s, but it's the good 80s. and for the record, i went back and listened to the full album and found a lot to like about it. RIP to a legend, for real

Roxy Radclyffe - YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME: another song whose presence is moreso indicative of a broader listening trend. i've been really interested in this artist's work recently, although i haven't had the opportunity to really dive headfirst in yet. i discovered her through a rym/bandcamp rabbit hole and was fascinated by the quanitity of projects she has running. i would recommend checking out her neocities and poking around, i've found some interesting stuff so far. definitely the kind of thing i think my crowd of oddballs on tumblr dot com could enjoy

[hisxloverx]

𝒱ℴ𝒾𝒹 || helluva boss & hazbin hotel : chapter 0

000|pilot

Ok so a little warning some of the characters in this will be ooc

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3rd person

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The scene opens with a shot of Imp City that slowly zooms in on the I.M.P building. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door

labeled "IMP Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. The light flickers as the camera

zooms in on the door. Inside, Blitzo is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees

Blitzo starts off by saying Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... he looks at Moxxie then says Moxxie.

Moxxie then gives him a wtf look

Blitzo then asks Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Millie who is an employee at the company and is moxxie's wife suggests a car wash to which blitzo says that no one cares about cars being washed as they live in hell.

Blitzo then suggests a billboard to which moxxie shuts down as they don't have money for a billboard to which blitzo replies

Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. He then pushes moxxie and asks them Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

He then turns on the tv to which the tv starts playing a recording of the whole crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do.

Blitzo is then shown whacking a man with a mallet like a whack a mole moxxie is then seen blown away by shooting a shotgun though the mouth of a man that was tied to a chair

Loona swings a man back in forth in her mouth while Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs the video then focuses on Helena who is tearing a man up limb from limb

getting all her anger out  the camera then zooms in on the man's face only for everyone to see that the man's eyes were ripped out

The recording then ends as the setting goes back to the office where the crew is sitting watching the recording while eating popcorn

Blitzo then says that those were the good times to which moxxie replies to how he doesn't need any reminding as blitzo blow almost all of the crew's salary on a add that plays on tv on a channel that nobody watches

Blitzo offended then asks Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie then says that people love musicals to which blitzo says exactly and that they're basically making a musical he then turns to moxxie and asks him if he's trying to ruin his dreams like his dad did

Moxxie then tries to speak but blitzo interrupt's him by saying that all he sees is his dad's ass hole talking to him crushing his dreams

Millie then turns to her husband and asks him if he's trying to crush their bosses dreams to which he stutters Millie then flirtatiously says that she thought she knew him

She then sticks her tongue out playfully at her husband as he blushes and rolls his eyes affectionately

Blitzo then says to moxxie how he can't believe him he then tearfully holds up a employee of the month plaque with a picture of moxxie on it

Blitzo then continues his sentence and says after I made you employee of the month !

Moxxie feeling defeated then says that he's sorry and that commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre and that no one actually likes the jingle's to which Helena agrees and says something about how her favorite musical's don't even have jingle's

To which moxxie looks at her with a thank you look to which she nods to him and goes back to doing what she was doing

Millie then says that she liked the jingle to which moxxie says do not he then points to Millie and continues Do not agree with him in front of me!

The scene then cuts to the commercial of imp blitzo in the commercial starts off by saying his name and saying that the o is silent he then says how he's the founder of I m p as he jesters to the logo as it appears on the screen then disappears

Two pictures of Blitzo in different scenarios show while he speaks. The first shows him wearing two top hats through his horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, 

while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears. The second shows Blitzo wearing an angel costume at a

coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it

Blitzo then asks Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!

The commercial then cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzo holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!"

The demon wearing the Ohio jersey then says that after he lovingly killed his wife for sleeping with a delivery man he was surprised when he found out he ended up in hell after he died because a jogger saw him hiding the body

Blitzo is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a pentagram. While he speaks,

his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie run off in surprise. He tosses the grimoire aways as he walks up to the portal

Blitzo then talks to the camera saying Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive! He then falls backwards into the portal

The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background

♫ When you want somebody gone, ♫

A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up

♫ and you don't want to wait too long ♫

Moxxie, Blitzo, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzo holds his arms out as Moxxie holds up his rifle and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The trio together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P

♫ call the Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The trio cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying

♫ Hand grenade or cyanide, ♫

Blitzo is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note

♫ We'll make it look like suicide ♫

Blitzo is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, and Moxxie is shown strangling someone

♫ The Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzo creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. He is followed by Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal

♫ We do our job so well, ♫

The trio come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves

♫ Because, we come straight out from Hell! ♫

The I.M.P. trio suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. A female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion and/or fear. One bearded man, however, has his head laid back as he sleeps with earbuds in.

Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, and Blitzo examines a pair of panties.

♫ We'll kill your husband or your wife ♫

Blitzo stabs someone toed to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression

♫ We'll even let you keep the knife ♫

A quick sequence then shows the trio assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark,

burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone,

and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the trio are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman looking at her phone from behind

♫ We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession-- ♫

Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.

The boy then shouts AUUUGH!

The boy then collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock. Blitzo and Millie turn their eyes to Moxxie in surprise.

___________________________

The scene then cuts to a hospital operating room where the boy is wheeled in on a hospital bed by a doctor with a pink haired nurse and a blue haired nurse

The pink haired nurse then talks in a masculine voice telling the doctor that the boy is not responding

The blue haired nurse then says to get cool water stat

The pink haired nurse then whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of of water that does nothing but leave a large welt on his face

The blue haired nurse then points out that it didn't do anything

The boys tongue then flops down from his mouth

As the doctor gets frustrated and and says that he's not losing another one Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy

The doctor then yells clear! They then all zap the boy and he then wakes up the boy then gasps and the doctor shocked says Holy shit! It actually worked.

Millie,moxxie and blitzo are then shown waiting outside of the room on chairs blitzo is shown reading a magazine while Millie is comforting her husband who looks absolutely devastated the doctor then walks out of the room with a clip board and says

That the boy is in stable condition but needs surgery he then asks them what insurance provider they have to which blitzo asks what insurance is

The scene then cuts to the imp gang along with the boy on the bed getting thrown out of the window while blitzo,Millie and moxxie all holding on to the bed for dear life

as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzo's foot. Blitzo slams his face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.

A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown.

♫ Kids die for freeeeeee! ♫

___________________________

The scene then cuts back to the boardroom Millie and moxxie are sitting across from Loona who is sitting beside Helena who is showing Loona a video on her phone

Moxxie then says that the incident with the boy being Loona's fault as she is the one who gets the information on the targets

Loona who doesn't look up from Helena's phone says to moxxie to sit on a dick to which he says YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d-- DO YOUR JOB!!

Blitzo then says Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona or Helena okay?!

Blitzo hugs and nuzzles both Loona Helena as they are both sitting together as loona snarls at him in response as Helena just embraces the hug.

Blitzo then says that Loona didn't do anything wrong to which moxxie says that she's awful while saying that Helena is a sweetheart with to much trauma

___________________________

The scene then cuts to a flash back of Loona and Helena at their desks Loona is reading a magazine while Helena at her desk is reading a good girls guide to murder loona's desk phone then rings and she answers

Not looking up from her magazine she says Hello, I.M.P. Millie is heard on the other end of the phone saying to call moxxie and that she got stabbed while Loona suddenly hangs up disinterested

Helena goes to a different room and calls moxxie to tell him what she heard

___________________________

In The second flashback Loona and Helena are in blitzo's office as he gives them both gifts

Blitzo gives loona her gift first saying Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'.

Loona then asks if it's a cut for syphilis to which blitzo says I... Oh... Loona snatches the present and angrily slams it on the floor. And yells THEN, I DON'T WANT IT!

A large swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and swarm Loona up to her neck.

Blitzo suddenly hiding outside of the office window says that he's sorry that it's spiders Loona then shouts goddammit

While after that blitzo give's Helena a gift wrapped up in wrapping paper she opens it and sees it's a vinyl of Taylor swift's 1989 to which she shouts in happiness and hugs her adoptive father in pure happiness

___________________________

In the third flashback Loona is shown at her desk watching a video of Charlie Morningstar performing inside of every demon is a rainbow while Helena is at her desk reading a book while having her 1989 vinyl playing in the background as moxxie walks up to loona's desk

With a flyer that says Chub B Gone he then asks Loona if she just faxed him a add for weight loss to which Loona says no and moxxie asks why anyone would send him this to which Loona says that he knows why

And Helena says that he looks perfectly fine the way he is right now

___________________________

The next flashback starts with Loona rummaging through the break room fridge

Loona then yells that whoever left the avocado salad in the fridge she's taking it because she has a hangover

She then turns around to face Millie with a red box in her hand as she shuts the fridge door with her foot. She rips off the lid and drinks the salad

Millie then asks Loona why she would drink on a work night to which Loona says that she's hungover from the morning

Moxxie then enters the room and notices Loona with his box of avocado salad and asks Isn't that my lunch? To which Loona drops the box on the floor and says that she can't take the assault this morning and that she needs to blow off some steam

She kicks the box at moxxie knocking him out of the room and surprising Millie

Loona then runs out of the break room and out into the street she then screams out in anger

She then runs up to a succubus lady passing by on the other side of the street, pushing her baby in a stroller. Loona then kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief. The scene transitions to Helena at her desk, telling Blitzo about a caller.

___________________________

Helena shouts to blitzo that stolas is on the phone saying Bliiiitzo! That nice, rich owl is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Sounds a little horny.

The scene then cuts to blitzo and moxxie at the water cooler

Blitzo then throw's his cup on the floor and yells Oh, GOD, it was one time! He crosses his arms then says that if he hadn't slept with stolas none of them would have access to the living world to which moxxie asks you what?

___________________________

The scene then cuts to a flashback of Stolas sleeping naked in bed. He is hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand

Blitzo starts to talk to him self in a singing voice about how he has this heavy book

Blitzo then reaches Stolas' balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. Grunting, he then attempts to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends both him and the grimoire falling forward off of the balcony

He then shout oh shit he then  lands on the cake that Stolas' wife stella and her friends were having, splattering pieces of it all over them

Blitzo then says off he turns to Stella then yells Sorry, I fucked your husband. The scene cuts back to Helena at her desk playing Taylor swift she then nicely yells for her adoptive father again to which he quietly shouts that he heard her

___________________________

The scene then cuts to blitzo in his office on the phone talking to stolas as he plays with a bobble head of moxxie

He asks stolas what he can do for him this time stolas is shown on his phone in his fancy mansion he then starts talking to blitzo saying that There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of his associates. And that He's trying to convince people global warming exists!

Blitzo then asks Doesn't it? To which stolas says yes but that more people die if nothing happens about it he then says that it gets lonely in his palace to which blitzo says that it makes sense

Stolas then asks blitzo You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy? Blitzo then pulls his phone away and talks to himself blitzo under his breath saying God-fuckin'-dammit.

Stolas then says When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red {bleeped) of yours... {bleeped) your {bleeped) and lick all of your (bleeped), before taking out your (bleeped), and (bleeped) with more teeth until you're screaming (bleeped) like a FUCKING baby--!

Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, scene pans to his with Stolas name listed as "creepy mouth (aka one night stand bird dick) with a call total of 48

seconds. as he hangs up, a knock out noise plays. He snaps his cellphone in half, smashes it with his desk phone, tosses said desk phone away, pulls out a blender, puts the cellphone pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.

Blitzo then tells loona to eat the blended up phone to which she does blitzo then asks her if she knows the bridge over the freeway to which she says yeah and blitzo says shit off it

___________________________

The flashback ends and blitzo is seen standing in the middle between the two chairs Helena and Loona are on to which blitzo says that Loona and Helena are important and valued members of their family and that they don't get rid of family

Loona is seen looking up from her phone and smiles briefly while Helena is shown with tearful eyes at what her adoptive father just said

To what blitzo said moxxie says that they are not a family and that blitzo is the boss they are the employees and that blitzo treats Loona like a meth addicted homeless woman they let man the phones

As Moxxie rants, Loona continues looking at her phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off

Blitzo then says how that's offensive and that without homeless people he wouldn't have half the joy and laughter he does in his life

Blitzo then puts his face up against the window cracking the glass, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A succubus is on her cellphone and turns away from the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.

Moxxie then starts talking again saying that while their on the subject of "family" if blitzo can please stop finding him and Millie outside of work to which Millie says it's not a big deal and he shouts excuse me what ?

___________________________

The scene cuts to a flashback of Moxxie and Millie preparing dinner in their kitchen

Moxxie asks Millie if she could get the butter to which she says sure she then goes and opens the fridge and finds Blitzo inside as he hands her the gross, viscous butter

Blitzo then says Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled! To which Millie giggles to which moxxie who throws some diced carrots into a soup asks his wife what's so funny

Blitzo then says Really impressive wordplay which moxxie shouts WHAT THE--?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!?!

Later that evening, shows a building, Inside their Moxxie and Millie are asleep in bed. The former is tossing and turning as the sound of a cat purring can be heard. Moxxie opens his eyes and sees Blitzo standing on him, looking him right in the eyes.

Blitzo then asks moxxie Whatcha dreamin' about? To which moxxie replies that he was dreaming of his parents being murdered and how now he would like to go back to that

In the next scene, Moxxie is singing the end of "Oh, Millie", as Millie joins in on some parts.

Moxxie sings ♫ Of all the imps in Hell, it's for her that I fell ♫ and Millie harmonizing sings ♫ It's for him that I fell ♫ and moxxie continues singing ♫ Oh, Millie~ ♫

The couple close their eyes to kiss, but Moxxie notices Blitzo outside the window holding a camcorder.

He then shouts angrily Are you fucking filming us right now?!

_________________________

The flashback ends as the scene cuts back to the board room in the present.

Moxxie then says Just... stop... doing that! To which blitzo shrugs and says that he doesn't see what the issue is then asks if there's something moxxie doesn't want him to see to which moxxie's eye twitches in anger as he shouts NO!

Loona snicker's and Helena looks upset at the same time as blitzo talks to moxxie saying You a baby-wiener-haver? To which moxxie says to his boss that what he says and how he acts is totally INAPPROPRIATE! He yells the last part as he stands up from his chair

Millie lays a hand on her husband's shoulder and says Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!

To which moxxie yells I AM CALM! He then starts whimpering angrily while looking back at blitzo Millie comforting her husband says Shh-shh-shh. There, there.

Blitzo then says Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff ( he makes a sexual gesture with his hands) you do outside work hours. So, don't... judge me! To which moxxie tells his boss that he does judge him a lot

To which Millie says Mox, he's our boss! And blitzo says No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive? He then smiles smugly and says retarded.

To which moxxie asks his boss if insulting him makes him feel better about his sad single life to which blitzo replies that it actually does the camera then zooms out to Loona and Helena

Loona then says The only reason you have a wife she looks up from her phone to glare at moxxie and continues her sentence is because you're easy to manage!

Millie then slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger and says No, he's not, you she then in deeper tone says BITCH! She then flips Loona off

Loona then growls at Millie while Helena grabs one of her hands trying to calm down her adoptive sister

Blitzo then tell Millie to not talk to one of his receptionist's that way and that both of them Helena more then Loona are sensitive Loona then snaps at Millie being reminded of Helena's trauma saying Yes, we are!

The kid from earlier is heard offscreen saying all of you guys except for that traumatized dog are all fucking assholes.

Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie,Loona & Helena's eye all widen in surprise. They look at the kid, Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach

Blitzo then tells the kid to shut up and that he's lucky to even witness this moxxie pinches the bridge of his nose then says Ugh, this company is such a mess!

Blitzo then says Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit. To which Helena confused tilts her head and asks what? To which Loona says Nobody was talking about that!

To which blitzo says Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right? And Helena says that it looks okay and asks if next time she goes shopping she can get a new suit for him to which he nods

The kid then points to blitzo and tells him that it's been literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed so that they wouldn't kill him But, now he wants that. That he wants death he again points to blitzo and tells him

You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones! Moxxie then says how that's not nice then gets cut off by the kid saying If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit.

Which makes Millie slams one hand on the table in anger while on the other hand she points to moxxie and says That's my husband you're talkin' to!

The kid laughs and asks her That's your husband?! Moxxie and Millie then snarl at the kid as he then says I figured you for a slut. But, I didn't know you needed dick that bad he then points to Loona and Helena and says and you two!

To which Loona protectively asks what about us ? The kid then says nothing I don't talk to dogs I'm a cat person to which Loona gives the kid a wide eyed glare she whines at the kid with anger then goes back to looking at her phone and showing Helena cool stuff

Blitzo then says Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit. Everyone in unison softly agree loona's eyes then widen as she receives a text message to which Helena looks at her phone in curiosity Loona then says Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all.

Blitzo then asks who? To which Helena says and points at the kid him! The kid in disbelief asks me? Loona smugly says yup without looking up from her phone blitzo then asks they wanted us to kill an actual child to which Loona says that's what they're saying

Blitzo then says Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God blitzo then draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie, killing him instantly the kid says OWWWW! he then crashes into the wall as he gets shot, covers a spot with blood as he says this, landing on the table while his eyes turn to Xs

Then blood covers the screen, then reveals Blitzo and Moxxie kicking Eddie's corpse, Millie stabbing him, Helena cutting out his vocal cords and eyes and Loona recording everything on her phone

___________________________

Blitzo is then heard voicing over saying Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!

Blitzo and Moxxie are shown wearing full hazard gear, dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag.

Blitzo still voicing over says So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares.

As Blitzo does the voiceover, he hugs Moxxie, Millie, Helena and Loona, the latter's phone flying out of her hands

Blitzo then tells them Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that he then wraps his tail lovingly around the group we handle this going forward respectfully.

___________________________

The group all smile as the scene cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says, "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"

The kid's mother sobbing says that if anyone has seen her son to call her the kids dead body in a body bag then falls into her arms she then terrified shouts OHHH!

The kid's mother and the news reporter look up in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal.

Blitzo then smiles,waves and shouts to them you're welcome!

The trio then disappear into the portal as it closes

[blue-aconite]

Questions for your birthday celebration before I go edit the next Jas and Jake blurb for you to enjoy. Let's pretend Taylor didn't help me pick some of these, okay? Okay.

Five books you wish you could read for the first time again?

Favorite food?

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Besides Glen, who's your celebrity crush?

Who was your first celebrity crush?

Who would win should Sweden and Denmark go to war (yet again)?

Do you love me?

How did you come up with the idea for Let Me Drown?

Why do you insist on breaking my heart with Let Me Drown?

What does it feel like to officially be entering your late twenties?

Now for this banner thingy. I know my entire blog is light blue, but I like dark bottle green for myself and with the quote "you can't save someone by loving them, but you can love them while they save themselves." Love you, Fe!

Shh, I'll pretend I don't know! Love ya! Here's a banner for you <3

The Book Thief. Pride and Prejudice. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. A Game of Thrones.

Sushi. Ramen. Any kind of pasta. Steak. I could go on but we’d be here forever.

Shapeshifting, invisibility and just generally being an enhanced superhuman.

Oh, I’d say Robert Pattinson, Idris Elba and Miles Teller.

Robert Pattinson. I saw Edward Cullen and fell in love. Then I kind of forgot about him until The Batman hit theatre and BAM, he was back in the game!

No one. The countries would wipe each other out and no one would be the winner. (You and I are fleeing to Australia.)

How is that even a question? I love you an insane amount.

I honestly don’t remember exactly how it came to be but I’m pretty sure it was inspired by @writercole’s ‘exile.’ And then I shared this lil thought in the discord:

Bob watched as Hangman opened the door to his truck and helped Zoe into the passenger seat, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. She smiled at him, that sunshine smile she always had when she was a kid and Bob would come home from school and sit with her at the kitchen table.  “He’ll hurt her. It’s what he always does.” Rooster comes up behind him, stopping only when they’re shoulder to shoulder.  “I’m not thrilled it’s Hangman. But I have to trust her. So if she wants to date Hangman, that’s what’s going to happen. And you’ve got a lot of nerve.” Bob keeps his eyes on the couple by the car, watching as Jake gets into the truck and reverses out of the parking lot.  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Rooster snarls, taking a step back. “It means that she told me. About last summer. It means that I know what you did. I know you don’t like Hangman. But right now, he hasn’t hurt her and you have.”

It has obviously grown since that, but I’m pretty sure this is where it all started. Thea wasn’t even Thea at the start but I remember not really vibing with Zoe either. It was just a placeholder.

I don’t know. The angst just comes naturally to me. And if it makes you feel better, I’m breaking my own heart. And I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you’re feeling this way. Your emotional response is the highest praise.

GOOD. I am excited. I don’t know what it will bring but I’m looking forward to them. I don't know why people are so worried!