#Amelia’s rambles | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

monmelia · 1 month ago

Text

Monmelia Analysis Part 1: Challenge, Timing & Soulmates (20x03)

Fourteen years ago, my love for shipping began with Brittany and Santana from Glee. They were my first ship—foundational to my experience as a closeted teenager—and while they might not have been perfect, they were everything I needed at the time.

Now, in my thirties and confident in my sexual identity, I didn’t expect to feel that invested in a ship again. I’ve enjoyed seeing other wlw couples on screen, but none ever stirred the same level of attachment—until Monica and Amelia from Grey’s Anatomy (Monmelia) came along. Their dynamic brings me back to those early days of following every hint of a storyline. Watching them, I find myself excited by the possibility of watching a meaningful, slow-burn romance unfold.

I love writing, and I love analysing, so I figured while Monmelia are still in their early stages, it’s a good time to start up an analysis blog of my own. Back in my Brittana fandom days, I used to love reading stuff like this, soaking up all the content I could get and living off the mere breadcrumbs the writers gave us. This feels no different. I plan on writing a blog per episode (where they feature) and just giving my potentially delusional but hopefully insightful thoughts on all of their interactions/scenes etc. But like I said, I love analysing, so if there’s anything I miss that you want me to analyse, just ask! I’m excited to go on their journey with them, so if you’re reading along too, enjoy, and hopefully the writers are kind to us!

So taking it back to the start of Monmelia, all my feelings and observations are below.

As a long-running character on the show it makes sense to start with Amelia. She seems to be a controversial character amongst the wider Grey’s fandom, but having binged all of her Private Practice backstory and really getting to understand her, she’s undoubtedly one of my favourites. She’s loyal to her loved ones, resilient to the core, super caring and incredibly misunderstood. Her history with love has been pretty tumultuous, and I, like many others, just want to see her settle down and find her person.

“I have fallen in love so many times in my life, and it feels like a roller coaster. It feels thrilling and consuming and sickening and desperate, and this did not feel like that. This... I think I felt seen? I felt known. And, I didn't fall in love... I kind of slid into it, like two puzzle pieces that just kind of fit.” - Amelia Shepherd (18x20)

Taking Amelia’s own analysis on her love life into consideration, it’s safe to say her relationships have always been somewhat chaotic. Despite best intentions, the relationships haven’t provided the grounding stability she so desperately needs. At the point when Amelia makes this observation she is talking about her relationship experiences prior to Kai Barley. Relationships that were fuelled by passion and urgency, often amplified by her own emotional struggles and history of addiction, which brought both intensity and instability into her romantic life.

Amelia’s reflection on her relationship with Kai highlights a different kind of connection—one based on mutual understanding, acceptance, and emotional safety. She highlights the feeling of being “seen” , indicating a love that acknowledges her as a whole person, flaws included. It suggests a level of emotional intimacy and stability she hadn’t experienced before, where she feels accepted rather than overwhelmed. The metaphor of “sliding into” love, like “two puzzle pieces that just kind of fit,” captures a sense of natural compatibility, a relationship that feels right without force or drama. A kind of love that is comforting, subtle, and enduring, contrasting with her prior experiences that were more about immediate intensity.

We of course know that this relationship with Kai didn’t work out for Amelia in the long term, but I think it’s important to discuss, as it shows Amelia’s growth in her concept of love. Instead of chasing exhilarating but destabilising relationships, she finds herself pursuing a love that feels effortless and affirming—a connection that brings peace, mutual respect, and a sense of belonging, rather than an overwhelming rush of passion. However unfortunate it is that it didn’t work out, it still feels like a turning point in Amelia’s personal journey with love.

Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of Amelia’s relationship with Kai, and I feel Kai led Amelia on and that Amelia looks at the relationship through rose tinted glasses when making that statement, but my own personal feelings aside I want to look at the relationship focusing solely on Amelia’s part in it. Because although Amelia describes it as a love that doesn’t make her feel desperate, we see her exhibiting needy behaviour towards the end of the relationship when Kai is moving to London. As soon as the move is announced, Amelia’s sole focus is on finding a solution to help Kai stay, without taking Kai’s desires into consideration.

“From the minute I told you about London, which is the biggest career opportunity of my life, you have made it about you. There were no words of encouragement or congratulations. No acknowledgement of how hard I worked for this.” - Kai Bartley (19x15)

And listen, I get it. It’s not that Amelia is being intentionally selfish, it’s that she’s so crippled by her deep fear of abandonment, an issue that has shaped her relationships and reactions throughout her life. For Amelia, the prospect of losing someone important triggers a defensive, almost desperate response to hold on tightly—a reaction that often leads her to prioritise her own emotional needs over her partner’s happiness and success. And again, it’s not that she doesn’t care about Kai’s success, but the abandonment is at the forefront of her brain, and so all she can think about is providing solutions to prevent that from happening.

Another layer to this dynamic is Amelia’s tendency to seek validation and stability through her relationships. She craves reassurance that her partner will stay, particularly after facing so much upheaval and loss in her life. This leads her to focus on her need for closeness, security, and continuity in the relationship rather than allowing space for Kai’s achievements and aspirations to be celebrated. Her behaviour in this situation highlights a recurring struggle to balance her own needs with those of her partner—a theme we’ve seen in her past relationships as well.

I guess my overriding point here is that I don’t think Amelia has met a partner that has been a true equal for her yet. It’s been more about how they’ve made Amelia feel, and less about how Amelia has added value to their life. She frequently looks to her partner to provide validation, security and love instead of doing the inner work necessary to cultivate this herself. She becomes attached quickly, often without considering her partner’s needs or how she can contribute positively to the relationship.

For instance, with Owen, Amelia’s trauma and issues around motherhood led her to rely on him for emotional support, but she struggled to communicate openly, which hindered any real connection. Her fear of vulnerability meant that instead of showing up for Owen in the way he needed, she frequently pulled away, avoiding conversations about her trauma, motherhood, and her real needs.

Similarly, with Link, Amelia found someone steady and reliable, and she leaned on him during a time when she was navigating pregnancy and the uncertainties of motherhood. Yet when the relationship demanded a deeper level of self-awareness and mutual support, Amelia’s insecurities resurfaced, leading her to withdraw. She questioned whether she wanted the stability and family structure Link offered, revealing her ambivalence and a lack of personal clarity. Rather than growing with Link, Amelia leaned on him as a source of comfort and stability without fully committing to the relationship or working through her underlying issues.

And then with Kai, whom Amelia felt “seen” and “known” by, her attachment quickly became about what Kai could do for her emotionally, providing her with a sense of affirmation. When Kai’s career goals and reluctance about parenthood clashed with Amelia’s desires, her initial reaction was to convince them to stay rather than supporting Kai’s achievements or seeing things from their perspective.

And this dynamic illustrates a common theme for Amelia: she seeks out relationships as a means of avoiding loneliness, filling emotional gaps, or validating her self-worth. The result is often an imbalance where her needs take precedence, leaving little room for her partners’ needs or her own personal growth.

For the record, I love Amelia, and I’m absolutely not saying she’s the problem in all of her relationships. Believe me I could talk at length about the various failings from her previous significant others, but this blog is focusing on Amelia and Monica, and so I think it’s important to reflect on where she’s at when Monica comes into the picture.

Because what I want for Amelia more than anything, is to see her confront her traumas and insecurities independently and build her self-worth from within rather than relying on a partner to provide this for her. I want her to do the work so she doesn’t need to be dependent on others to feel whole. And then I want her to find a lasting, healthy love who challenges her and embraces her flaws, and loves her for exactly who she is. And I want her to do that for them in return, and to show up for her partner in ways I know she’s so capable of (because duh, she’s so damn loyal and caring and loving), because her own insecurities will no longer be in the way.

And this is exactly what I think Monica is going to be for her. And it’s the reason why I love them so much and why I plan to analyse every little moment, because call me delulu, but I’m so sure the arc is setting them up for this dynamic. I’m sure that Monica is going to be Amelia’s end game, and she’s going to enrich Amelia’s life in ways we can’t even imagine right now (and vice versa).

And I’m sure of this, because we’ve already seen snippets of this, because at the time of writing this they’ve just aired 21x05 which was so pivotal to their story IMO, but this is an ep by ep blog so more on that later.

But in essence, we already saw growth from Amelia in changing her concept of love during her relationship with Kai, but with Monica I feel we’re going to see even more growth in terms of a truly balanced partnership due to the fact Amelia is going to shift the emphasis of finding fulfilment via someone else.

Because when we meet Monica in 20x03, Amelia is already working towards being in that space. She light-heartedly tells Meredith that she’s got a cat because she’s given up on finding a human soulmate. This is important because it shows that since her fairly recent breakup with Kai, Amelia has opted to do something for herself that will meet her emotional needs, outside of a romantic relationship. It would be easy for Amelia to seek happiness from a meaningless rebound or jump into another relationship, but instead she decides to heal and directs her energy on doing something for herself.

The other important factor of that scene is the timing. And timing is something I feel will be discussed a lot in this blog. Just as Amelia is talking about giving up on her human soulmate, we get our first proper introduction to Monica as she beeps her horn at Amelia. In the context of the scene, she beeps because Amelia has taken her parking spot, but I can’t help but think that this is foreshadowing. As viewers we see Monica beep loudly right after Amelia’s statement of giving up on love, as if to say “Don’t give up yet, I’m right here!”. When someone honks their horn at you, it’s often startling and unexpected, much like Amelia’s romance (or crush for now) with Monica is. I don’t think Amelia is planning on finding love. She’s healing, seemingly working on herself and has declared she’s given up.

It’s apt (but also always the way it happens because there’s no better time for a relationship than when you’re hyper focused on yourself) that Monica would come in at this time. Nothing can convince me that the timing of Amelia announcing she’s given up on her soulmate coinciding with Monica’s first scene isn’t significant.

I could further deep this by analysing the fact Monica is distracted on her phone. She’s not paying attention until Amelia takes her spot. She only notices the spot becomes free when Amelia takes it, and then she gets all mad at her. It could possibly foreshadow the wider dynamic of Monica being too distracted by her divorce to pursue anything with Amelia, and perhaps like with the parking spot situation, Amelia will have to do something to get her attention (not necessarily intentional) and prompt Monica to realise her feelings and make her notice. It would be an interesting future parallel if this plays out. Of course this is all just speculation and we have no idea where the writers are going to go with this. And do I think the writers put this much attention to detail into callbacks and parallels? No. But I definitely think there’s a lot of intentional set up between these two. The soulmate line at the very least. And Amelia stealing Monica's parking spot like she's about to steal her heart.

Then we get to the scene in the hospital and both Monia and Amelia are surprised to find they’re working together after the earlier parking incident. Amelia is visibly embarrassed and it shows in her demeanour, and there’s clear tension in the air, but they put it aside to care of their patient. Monica immediately challenges Amelia, she talks over her during the consult and it clearly catches Amelia off guard and causes her some frustration. Monica is new to the hospital, so it could be that she’s trying to establish her authority. It sets a precedent of tension for them in their first few scenes, but more importantly it sets a precedent of Monica challenging and pushing Amelia further than she’s used to being pushed.

We see this dynamic explored further when they’re discussing surgical options for their patient. Amelia immediately dismisses Monica’s idea and Monica retorts by telling her to take a minute to think about it. Though Amelia is initially defensive to the suggestion, and Monica is seemingly unfazed by Amelia’s admission that she’s the Chief of Neurosurgery (plus the fact she doesn’t know Amelia), we can surmise that Monica is instantly confident in Amelia’s surgical abilities. She’s confident enough to challenge her and push her boundaries, and she knows she can get more out of Amelia. When we translate that to a future romantic relationship, it’s a good dynamic to have, and I think Amelia would really benefit from a partner who isn’t afraid to challenge her and push her to go deeper than she’s used to going.

When Amelia is reluctant, Monica notes that impatience must be her thing. From the minute I heard this I assumed it was going to have deeper meaning to their arc, and knowing what we know now about Monica going through a divorce and not being ready for a serious relationship, I’m sure this is going to be significant for them. My initial thoughts at this point are that it’s going to be a slow burn and Monica isn’t going to be ready for a relationship for some time. They’ll undoubtedly grow closer, and Amelia is going to inevitably feel some impatience waiting for the relationship to progress. Perhaps she’ll even move on herself. I feel like this comment from Monica will for sure be a future parallel in which Amelia just needs to be patient to get her girl.

Amelia later confides in Richard that she is being pushed by the new peds surgeon to consider an alternative option that has more risks. Could that be foreshadowing Monica pushing Amelia to consider alternative options to love with more risks? Because with soulmate love, of course comes more risk of being hurt. He also notably points out that Monica is a boundary pusher, and draws comparison between her and Amelia. This has to be symbolic and perhaps a sign that both of them are going to push boundaries and open up new depths in each other.

Monica’s pushing works and Amelia figures out an alternative option. Yay for cute girlfriend knowing her full potential.

“Finally!” Amelia says as Monica and Blue enter the room.

“You do know we were waiting for you, right?” Monica flirts playfully responds.

The delusional deep thinker in me wants to say that this could be another potential foreshadow into their arc. Because although we know Monica isn’t going to be initially ready for a relationship with Amelia, it could be that the dynamic switches and in true Grey’s style, Monica will realise she’s ready just as Amelia has either started to move on (albeit casually) or maybe she’s just decided to stay single and focus on herself (which tbh would be huge growth for her), Basically, by the time Monica comes around, maybe Amelia just isn’t going to be available anymore (whether that be emotionally or physically). So when they finally get it together, it could be that they both had to do an element of waiting but in different ways. So for Amelia it’s like “Finally!” since she made the first move, but maybe it’s actually Amelia who delays them actually being together, hence Monica’s “You do know we were waiting for you.” But again, this is all just speculation. It could just be that the scenes are what they are at face value and there’s no deeper meaning. But I definitely think all this talk around patience and taking time has to mean something. There’s too many references to it.

The whole episode centres on Monica influencing Amelia to take time and have patience, and the success that follows when she does that, so it’s interesting to think how this could apply to a romantic relationship between them. It’s even more pivotal given their dynamic, and the obstacles between them on both sides (Monica’s divorce and Amelia’s own issues she needs to work on).

Time is clearly going to be of the essence for them, and I kind of hope that if they do go down the route of Amelia holding them up getting together that it’s because she’s decided to work on herself as opposed to her moving on with someone else, because that would be the ultimate growth for her. For her to have Monica finally want to date her but for her to be strong enough to say no until she’s ready and healthy in her own self, just like how Monica waits to date Amelia until she's ready and had dealt with the issues that came with her divorce. That would be symbolic of the message in this episode around patience and timing and how taking the alternative longer route can lead to the more successful ending, so I hope that’s what this episode was foreshadowing.

If Monica and Amelia could translate the way they work together, communicate and find solutions as effectively as they do in surgery to a romantic relationship, I’m telling you, they’d be a dream team!

“I’m thinking you’re much more effective when you take your time.”- Monica Beltram (20x03)

Could that quote from Monica be in relation to the context of the episode with Amelia finding an alternative option to the surgical procedure? Yes. But the deep thinker in me wants to believe it foreshadows Amelia either a) Taking her time in waiting for Monica to come around by being her supportive friend during her divorce in the meantime, b) Taking the time to work on herself before pursuing a relationship with Monica, just like Monica has done with her by not jumping into anything.

Or it could be both?

Or neither.

Even the lighter scenes in this episode feel meaningful. Whether it be the bashful back and forth of “go ahead” when they reach for the same scrub brush, the persistent challenge from Monica or the lingering glances during surgery, there’s a clear set up of underlying tension right from the start with these two.

After a successful surgery, they’re told they make a great team, and Monica glances at Amelia. Before Amelia can fully acknowledge this, she hears the door slam and Monica has left. Perhaps a metaphorical sign of things to come with Monica not being ready to embrace everything between them?

But I can’t help but agree that Monica and Amelia are a great team, and as you can probably tell by my ramblings, I think that their dynamic at work could absolutely extend to a romantic relationship.

And I’m optimistic enough to say I think this could be the relationship that Amelia needs. But also, one that Monica needs. And I’m excited to find out more about Monica as a character. But ultimately I think it will be a relationship that is going to equally push them both to grow. A relationship that’s all about challenge and timing and patience, but most importantly, about soulmates.

So Amelia, I hope you haven’t given up on finding your human soulmate. Because Monica is right there!

I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings, I try and make it as cohesive as possible I swear. I’ve already started writing up my thoughts on 20x04 so I hope you stick around for that, and for whatever else the Monmelia journey brings!

#monmelia #amelia shepherd #monica beltran #monmelia analysis #monmelia thoughts #thoughts #analysis #ramblings #wlw #grey's anatomy #grey's abc

17 notes · View notes