#Amazon is no longer supportive of queer rights

[jeannereames]

Please buy DANCING directly from Riptide

First, I actually get (a little) more money...and so do they. They're a queer publishing house.

But now, given Amazon's new position on LGBTQA+, I actively don't want to give any money to Bezos. For why, see below. Amazon has taken over print-on-demand, so you can no longer buy a physical book from Riptide. BUT you *can* get it from B&N!

Please go there for a hardcopy.

[psychic-refugee]

I loved MOA, I’ve watched it twice and it’s definitely a great rewatch. Probably going into my list of comfort films to watch again and again.

It definitely deserves its #1 Spot on Amazon Video.

I’m going to wait to give a full on review so people have more time to watch it and it’s less spoilery.  

I do want to address one thing that I don’t think is a fair criticism, at all.

I’ve seen several posts where they’re unhappy that the main character isn’t a lesbian. Someone even went as far to call it “lesbian erasure” and others are calling Megan Park/the movie lesphobic.

On one hand, I understand that there aren’t enough good representation movies for lesbians or the LGBTQ+ community, and it can be frustrating when something looks promising or if you had certain hopes, but it turns out a different way.

On the other hand, come on, BFFR and fuck off.

No one ever said it was a lesbian rom com. It’s a rom com with a character who is very young and in her limited experience had thought she was a lesbian, and then finds someone who makes her question that specific title.

Chad has ALWAYS been part of the synopsis and cast list. He was always framed as the romantic interest.

Other people's sexuality is not dependent upon your hopes and wishes, both real and fictional.

I think people are so chronically online and obsessed with labels that they forget that no one has met everyone they’re ever going to meet, ESPECIALLY NOT AT 18. Elliott had only ever been attracted to women up until she meets Chad. She’s also from a very small town, is itching to live in the big city of Toronto, and is about to attend the University of Toronto.

There is a chance she still would have figured out she was also attracted to men when the dating pool got much larger for her.

Is it “heterosexual erasure” if the opposite happens and someone goes off to Uni to discover they are attracted to the same sex? Or is it just part of some people’s journey?

I, personally, think it’s a great message that you’re a) not stuck with a title or specific sexuality and b) it doesn’t have to be this traumatic, existential crisis. I loved how she talked it out with her friend, Ro, and it was like, “oh shit (surprised)…tell me more (intrigued and supportive).”

Please notice how Ro and Ruthie (Maddie Zeigler) don’t question Elliott’s sexuality or try to make her feel bad about it, they just accept her as friends should.

Again, personally, I’m glad to see a queer story that doesn’t have queer trauma.

I hope everyone’s sexual, or lack thereof, journey is as easy going.

I also feel like the people who are mad that she fell in love with a man when “the right one came along,” and are calling it lesbian erasure, completely stopped paying any real attention to the movie.

Elliott NEVER calls herself straight. She NEVER indicates she no longer is attracted to women because she found Chad.

Her attraction to Chad is in addition to her general attraction to women. It’s very clear through the dialogue that she is very much into women, and that never stops.

Spoiler but not relevant to furthering the plot and it’s towards the end of the movie:

…

Older Elliott references having a current girlfriend in the future. Timestamp: 1:13:30

She doesn’t mention any other male significant other.

It could very well be that Chad is a one off, but still very important, valid, and REAL love in Elliott's life.

At no point does Elliott’s attraction to Chad diminish her attraction to women.

Fine, be frustrated in the general lack of lesbian specific movies.

But don’t call Megan Park lesphobic for not making a character SHE CREATED lesbian when Elliott was never meant to be lesbian to begin with.

[seraphsfire]

Life situation & kitty update! Help me stay in Seattle instead of being forced to go to wyoming

Hello! I was able to make rent this month, but so far I cannot make rent for next month.

Ko-fi has been holding donations since paypal has been flagging them as "income" so that no longer works.

If you would like to help me out using paypal, the link is HERE. I will look into other venmo and cashapp. you can also reach out for a commission! If you donated via paypal and would like me to draw you a little something in thanks, please let me know!

I also put together an AMAZON WISH LIST , most is things for the kitties or food and some non-essentials / self care things for the hell of it that are things i haven't been able to buy myself for a while. Other than rent, kitty supplies and food are what I spend most $ on.

More on what I'm facing and what my kitties need:

about the kitties:

My sweet kitty Jade, needs a steroidal shot for her dermatitis. She should have gotten another one on the 25th, but I had no money to take her to the vet and she started ripping her fur out and made big, golf-ball sized spots completely bald on her armpit and chest :'( We put her on benadryl, moisturized her, and gave her a little jacket thing to help but I can tell she's really uncomfortable and really needs a vet visit to get that. it's $80 just to visit my vet and i'm sure the shot could be anywhere from 10-40 dollars, I really don't know. She's not in danger of pulling huge chunks of fur out thanks to the little jacket but she's really not happy and it makes me so sad.

About my situation (kind of long, sorry):

My Parents (mostly my mom; it's very hard to get responses from my dad) gave me rent money for September, but then made it clear that she will no longer help me financially under any circumstance if I want to "choose" to live in Seattle, then I'm essentially on my own. She doesn't want to give me money because she doesn't want ours to be a "transactional-based relationship" (after spending my entire childhood having them pressure me to move out on my own)

My dad is convinced that since Seattle is a city, it is very unsafe (and too full of Democrats) and that we would be safer living in their small town of Pavilion, Wyoming--which is literally just like, a few very spaced out neighborhoods. The nearest actual town is a 30 minute drive, and it's not very big either, and I don't drive. I would be snowed in *with them* for 4+ MONTHS every year, and every summer unable to leave the house for weeks because of the heat.

My dad has told my sister and I that if we choose to live right next to them, where they could have complete control over our lives, they would even buy us a house--but because we're not doing that, they refuse to support us in the life we've chosen for ourselves. They do not see the cruelty in this and think we are being nonsensical staying somewhere like Seattle which is "dangerous" and they do not like that it is full of non-republicans. I came out as queer in 2016, something which they have never spoken about since. I would likely be the only (out) queer person for MILES, and I don't feel like being the guinea pig for whether the anti-gay people there are the kind who ignore you or the kind who will hatecrime/kill you (:

Since I'd be at zero in my bank account in wyoming, they would have complete control over what I eat (not fun since I have a messed up digestion), clothes I buy, where I go, and how I behave just like they did when I was a child, or they'll start taking things away hoping that "tough love" will work. (it just made me mentally ill lol)

If I start a job in a week and a half I might be okay, but if I can't start until after that I won't have enough for October rent. I have one interview coming up but the future is still very up in the air.

[ben-j-erickson]

RWRB: Thoughts on the movie

SO a while back, i let the entire internet(like 2 people) know my thoughts on the RWRB trailer. i watched the movie last night. and i have so many, SO SO many thoughts about it. Buckle in kiddos, this is gonna be one long fucking post.

In honor of Mr. Alex Claremont-Diaz and his endless lists, here are some lists including but not limited to what i liked and what i didn't like.

What i liked:

Uma Thurman. Slayed as per usual. I did think they could've done more with her bc she's so much more mom-president in the books. Still, though, Uma Thurman is always amazing and it's amazing to see her.

The way they did the texts and calls? Phenomenal! Did they technically only do that once? yes but we ignore that for a minute

The way that they addressed being queer and the coming-out experience. Everyone deserves to be able to figure out their sexuality/gender in their own time and to be able to tell the world at their time and pace. And they made sure to put that in the movie. [Quick tangent: two of the biggest queer projects of the year(so far), Heartstopper and RWRB both have themes about coming out and how it should be. ]

The sex scenes were actually not bad. The "let's make love" scene never happened in the book and their first time having sex together was way more low-key in the book but I liked that gay intimacy was shown in a very unflinching sort of way. The book certainly doesn't shy away from-for lack of a better word- smut and I'm glad that the movie took a less fade-to-black approach. (and yes, reader, it did make me want to get dicked down. No, I will not elaborate, take from that what you will)

Phillip. I never thought that I'd say this but Phillip in his little 2hr condensed form is actually really accurate. he pisses me off and he's condescending and a real prick. good job writers

Okay. That's some stuff i liked. Apologies readers, my dislike list might be longer than my like list but its coming from a place of love, I promise

What I didn't like:

June. WHERE WAS JUNE???? i get that its a 2-ish hr amazon movie but still. You're gonna have Nora(more on her in just a sec) but not June?? June was a very big part of the book who is a big support for Alex and is just generally cool. Making Alex an only child did not feel right y'all.

If you're gonna have Nora in the movie or like combine Nora and June or whatever the writers/directors/producers had in mind, then DO IT RIGHT. Nora in the books is firmly queer and cool and like probably austistic and a hacker(?). She's got her own sideplot with the whole Richards leak(again, more on that later). She helps Alex come to terms with his bisexuality. And you're just gonna make her a little side character that gives Alex advice and is maybe working on the Claremont campaign. like c'mon. Nora and June are Alex's support system, they're the people he relies on, the people who have seen him before being first-son and after becoming first-son.

Speaking of Alex being the first son, i wasn't happy that they sort of just glossed over Alex's insecurities. we get a little of them in the emails but part of what makes Alex so relatable is that he is confident and he is smart and he does want to help people but he also understands and feels the difference between himself and Henry. Henry is white and British and privileged and has a myriad of insecurities too but Henry will never understand being judged solely on your skin. On being compared to someone else but understanding the double-standards that come along with it. i honestly don't know if i put it correctly but that is why i loved alex so much.

FUCKING MIGUEL RAMOS. WHO MADE THAT FUCKING DECISION????? first off, for those who have yet to read the book, Miguel Ramos is not in the book. Rafael Luna is. Liam is. Both men are very important for Alex(and Henry)'s story. Liam is a key component in Alex's journey in bisexuality. Rafael Luna's involvement in the Richards Campaign is also very important plot-wise. Luna is also one of the guys who Alex realises he thought was hot btw.

The Richards Campaign!?!?!?!! felt very non-important. like i just don't really feel the need to root for the Claremont Campaign or root against the Richards Campaign when they sort of take a backseat. in the book the Richards campaign is the one to leak the emails and its a more malicious strike against the Claremont Campaign vs a jealous reporter who the Alex hooked up with once leaking the story.

WHILE we're on the emails, i know that you can only fit so much in here but COME ON MAN. the emails are sort of the foundation of Henry and Alex's romance. they text(AFTER ALEX GIVES HENRY HIS NUMBER BTW) and then they email each other and its so gay/bi and so happy and so romantic and the quotes man the FUCKING quotes and i didn't get that and can you tell that the emails mean a lot to me

the "history,huh?" moment did not feel as impactful to me. fight me on that , i don't care.

Bea. Said it before, not how i pictured. But boy did they really reduce Bea. Mind you, she's got a very big role in Henry's life an they do try but the powder princess stuff is kind of important.

Princess Catherine. Where is she? Who knows? Again, cut for time but my gosh people, she's the reason Queen Mary turns around on Henry and Alex.

Speaking of Queen Mary, they switched her around for a king?!?!?! LISTEN i get not wanting to make real-world comparisons yadayadayada but Stephen Fry?!?!?! im so sorry that man is too nice for you to try to convince me that he's a racist and homophobic ruler.

Alex's parents. They're together, i guess? minor thing so that's why its here idk.

SO that was a lot of complaints and some good stuff.

You may be thinking "THANK GOODNESS, it's over"

WRONG.

I have more thoughts, dear reader.

Look, was it a perfect adaptation? no. adaptations rarely are.

Was it a good movie? yes. it was.

This movie made my little gay POC heart very VERY happy. it made me happy to see something that I treasure be put out into the world in a movie that I will be watching over and over and over. I'm obviously not pleased with the multiple liberties they took but I'm taking what I can. We need more queer everything out in the world. More queer books, more queer movies, more queer photography, more queer tv shows, more queer museum exhibits, you name it. Given the current state of the world and attitudes about queer people, it is essential to make and consume queer media in all its forms. Queer media makes sure that everyone knows that we're here and queer and we're not going anywhere. This is an important story to tell. And it doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to tell OUR stories.

Henry, Alex (and also Nick Nelson and Charlie Spring) have made me want a love like theirs. A love that is genuine and real and honest and full of hope. A love who understands me and who I understand. To quote Dr. Taylor Alison Swift: "A love that was really something, not just the idea of something."

[hazelcephalopod]

Some thoughts on Carnival Row (spoilers both seasons)-

- this show feels like a remake of a late 90’s to early aughts cartoon but with a gritty adult vibe. I say this with affection.

-I think if this was maybe a movie or maybe they had just gone a slightly different direction this would have really taken off. Even as is though it think it’s vastly underrated, like it has problems -oh boy does it-, but the steampunk-ish early 20th century vibe plus fantasy set in an entirely new world is cool. Just the vibes, they are great. (Ps it could actually be gaslight punk or something).

- I really hope the “New Dawn” revolutionary group from the Pact might be good guys? Like not perfect, but I’d like the communists to maybe make some lasting good change on the world? I’m probably putting my clown make up on with that a little. On the other hand I am deeply pessimistic they are going to also be the villains. I hope I’m wrong, I hope they are a nuanced faction which does offer support but maybe is doing some fucked up stuff too, which just pales in comparison to the rest of the world atm.

- I wish the Fae were more like, visibly on screen queer and poly instead of just minor lip service to back up the mostly obscure world building for that. The poly part I get is slightly more… a sign of some progress in that even talking about it as a good thing is a positive. But this could be more queer. (I got a whole thing about how it seems like Amazon especially doesn’t like mlm on screen but that does extend to queer people as a whole).

- there is a fuck ton of worldbuilding and I’m sad we won’t be able to see much more of it. I think it could be really neat.

Ok so, plot opinions time.

- I enjoy Imogen and Agreaus but they really are just in a different show, I’m hopeful their involvement with the New Dawn is going to lead to them being used to support the Row and the Fae in the Burgue. Tbf I’m not really annoyed by them just off doing whatever, I just think it’s kinda funny, but it is a show.

- plot point 2. Flying into the Burgue State dinner was… a choice. A very dangerous and likely deadly one. The core “show them what is happening to us and how we are suffering” is good but like… these people are just inches from, uhhh, mass murder -well, more of it? Dahlia deciding she *had* to be the one to go was odd to me, because it seemed like a death mission right? The power play of showing up to that dinner, when they aren’t even supposed to be able to leave the Row, well that’s a threat and like I said solutions in the Burgue are, um, very death oriented at the moment. Which, I thought maybe Dahlia might be smart enough to try a “how about you do that and I will coordinate from here (and hopefully you die because I hate you)” to Vin. But, nope she went herself with a handful of others most of whom died -though I think it wasn’t at the dinner, I need to rewatch. The woman with Bas Dubh (is that black death? It’s not translated for me, but it’s pretty much just Irish yea? I don’t recall the meaning of “bas” If any [edit yea it’s Black Death]) anyway she was shot. So. Idk if the garnering sympathy worked. Personally I think maybe a gathering of both common people and some of the politicians would have been most ideal. But I know the point was stopping Philo, bringing us too-

- Philo, really dude? You hid you half fae status your entire life -because the discrimination is so bad in the Burgue- and now it’s “oh now that I’ve revealed that, I can totally uh, convince all these violent bigots to listen to me -someone they no longer see as a person- that their leader is, illegitimate and murder-y?” What? Again, the solutions are very murder oriented and idk, doubt they will listen. Maybe I’m being the asshole pessimist here idk, but I just don’t think that’s how a systems like that works.

- counterpoint to the general murderous political environment in the Burgue. Primarily from seeing some of the Burgue owner class being like “this whole confining our workforce with a police state is really hurting our bottom line” was something. I hope, but doubt, it will be explored more. For instance, some of them should be plotting a coup. B/c when the government begins to threaten their bottom line many companies will decide “how get rid of this?” And choose “overthrow the whole government, consequences be damned”.

- I think it’s was a Pact (feudalist) dignitary or soldier who shot the woman with Bas Dubh, which could indicate that they are in fact the worse guys in that conflict and the New Dawn could be primarily helpful later on.

[stormiepassions]

Open Letter to the Good Omens Fandom

Fellow Good Omens Fans,

The past few weeks, maybe even a month or longer really, things have been tense. There is a lot of drama going on within the fandom and I thought it was time for me to say something. 

What on the Almighty’s green earth is happening here?

When I first found the Fandom, it was after I saw Good Omens on Amazon Prime. I saw an Angel and a Demon completely mess everything up (”Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent.”) but still save the world from Armageddon. I saw an Angel and Demon who were friends, even if their respected sides were not and I saw them love one another (”To the World”). I also a kid deciding that his life, family, and friends were more important than power. I saw a witch who decided to break free from her familial expectations and burn the second book of prophecies. I fell in love with all of them and I found the most amazing group of people who loved this tale too, everyone was open and loving and welcoming writers and artists and readers and musicians... Queer friendly and cheered one another on. It was awesome. 

I slowly became brave myself and decided to take a stab at writing fan fiction and frankly reading that story now make my eyes hurt, it was bad. But again, there were cheerleaders out there who rooted for my writing and I have never felt so much support in my life. 

Then, things started to change. I think I was subconsciously effected by the shift because I stopped spending a lot of time in the Facebook groups and I never really got into Twitter until recently. My favorite writers and artists were no longer active in the groups. One of the most supportive writers (and beta) was kicked out of a group. Writers who weren’t the Select Few were getting less and less readers and support. Artists who also weren’t the Select Few were getting less support and love. Whispers started about bullying and blacklisting writers.

 Now I am, as someone who loves Good Omens and these characters, is stressed about everything that has been happening. It is difficult to write when you hear about “Two Pies” and if you’re going to be next in someone saying you’re copying them. It’s horrible to see this amazing group of artists and writers fight for Power... The Select Few can destroy a new, inexperienced writer or artist; just the fact that they only interact with one another’s fics and art creates a line of Us and them. Gatekeeping is a term that I just recently learned but it fits the bill on what is happening within the Fandom.

It hurts my heart. 

The only person who should have any say within this Fandom is Neil Gaiman. (Terry is no longer with us but if he were, he too would be right next to Neil) Us writers and artists should be grateful that Neil likes that we create. We could love a tale that the Original Writer would try to shut us down for creating fan fiction but instead we have the lovely Mr. Gaiman. If you want to be technical, we’re stealing from him his characters to tell stories that we want to tell and put them into situations that, perhaps, Neil wouldn’t want them in. But he lets us and supports us. 

I don’t want to walk away from this Fandom. It has helped me make it through my own issues with Depression and ADHD, survive Covid, stay a float when things got hard. I have made a few friends that I can’t imagine not talking to on a regular bases because of this Fandom. It gets so hard with the power struggles and the cattiness and watching people want to stay on top just as much as they want to keep people down. 

It hurts my head.

I plan to continue to write, at least my most recent WIP and I plan to continue to read whoever’s fics and look at whoever’s art. I enjoy them, kudos them, might write a comment if I have time and then read some more. But something has to give, this Fandom is going to destroy itself because of people sense of Self importance. We should love and support one another. Enjoy the gift that we have in Good Omens and Neil. The Select Few are not Gatekeepers if we don’t let them be Gatekeepers. 

Everything Hurts.

Lets build each other up. No one else will do it for us. 

Much love to you all.

Stormie

[eldritch-bf]

Blame Atlas Save Atlas by Angelo Lytle: Review

Spoiler Free!

Link to the self-published book. Support an indie author! Who is also on tumblr @/angelolytle.

Summary on Amazon:

A missing voice. A missing mother. Who will be taken next?

There's something in the woods, and four years ago, it took Trinity Warren's voice. All she wants is to speak again, yet her search has led to a dead end. That's when she discovers the Students' Aid Alliance, run by fellow college students Isaac and Noah. Maybe this is the spark of hope she needs—if she can convince them to help her.

A cynical skeptic, Isaac refuses to believe Trinity's story. But when Noah's mother disappears, a midnight search leads Isaac and Noah to an unsettling discovery in the woods. Isaac, Trinity, and Noah must come together to find the truth—and reclaim what they've lost.

Review Below The Cut

Praise:

Story is written in present tense, which is unusual but not disagreeable. It has the benefit of putting you right in the POV character's shoes and makes you feel like everything is actually happening right now, instead of being told what happened (past tense).

I love first person. I know its "preferable" or whatever to write in third person limited but *blows raspberry*.

The novel is fairly lighthearted. Yes, there are stakes and bad things happen but all in all in its fun and enjoyable and has a background hum of hope and optimism. Its rare I finish I book and don't feel like dying afterwards.

We get to switch different character POVs each chapter which I obviously love, since my wip has different POV characters.

This book made me laugh many times.

It didn't make me literally cry but it made me want to cry. It's very heartwarming and somewhat ouchy at parts.

Canon queer characters. And this isn't even because of an empty, rehearsed "xyz is good because it has xyz rep" sentiment. I love explicit queer representation as a queer person especially from a queer author. I also liked the variety of queer experiences shown in the story.

I am consistently charmed by unique page breaks; in this case instead of an asterisk or simply the enter key, there is a simplistic doodle of pine trees and stars.

There's a vine reference in here that I busted a gut laughing over instead of cringing as occasionally happens with out of date internet memes, but its a classic vine.

Criticism:

Don't ask me to tell you the word count but the book feels closer to a novella than a full-length novel, which means my main complaint is that it isn't longer, which is actually a compliment I guess.

I really am trying to find something to criticize simply from one aspiring author to published author, for improvement purposes.

So, maybe there could be more scene setting. There wasn't a terrible amount of describing the scenes but honestly who's to say you have to spend ten pages describing a bedroom or the woods when most of us are going to imagine our own bedroom or our local woods regardless.

Honesty, this book was great. I've been recommending it to friends to get them to buy and read it. I think we are all desperate for a fun and quick queer story.

[mel-image-making]

Brochure

The brochure is the last thing I worked on since it was going to take a lot longer than the other assets.  For the way of folding it, I decided to make a trifold brochure but horizontal, because I wanted the person looking at ti to see the whole thing at once when checking, rather than small individual parts.  I first sketched on a piece of paper to figure out what would go where:

After figuring out the structure, I started brainstorming on who would be part of the festival. I wanted to use real names of BIPOC artists that do things related to decolonialisation. 

In this sketch I wrote down the names of the bands/collectives/people that I would like to have in the festival, and also assigned time slots that were realistic.

Talks:

- Nina Gualinga:  is an Ecuadorian environmental and indigenous rights activist. She is part of the Kichwa-speaking community and has spent most of her life advocating for better environmental protection of the Ecuadorian Amazon and the inhabitant wildlife as well as the people who are dependent on this environment.

- Tori Tsui: is a Bristol-based intersectional climate justice activist and organiser, speaker, writer and mental health advocate from Hong Kong and New Zealand.

- Pania Newton:  is a New Zealand lawyer and activist for Māori land rights; she is a member of the Ngāpuhi, Waikato, Ngāti Mahuta and Ngāti Maniapoto tribes.In 2016, Newton alongside her five cousins, and other supporters, formed the group Save Our Unique Landscape (SOUL) to protest the development of land at Ihumātao in south Auckland.

- Lyla June:  Lyla June Johnston is an Indigenous public speaker, artist, scholar and community organizer of Diné (Navajo), Tsétsêhéstâhese (Cheyenne) and European lineages from Taos, New Mexico.Her messages focus on Indigenous rights, supporting youth, traditional land stewardship practices and healing inter-generational and inter-cultural trauma.

Music:

- Katchafire: Katchafire are an all Maori New Zealand roots reggae band from Hamilton, New Zealand.

- Sam Manzanza & Afrobeat: Sam Manzanza has performed his infectious brand of authentic African music to audiences all over the globe. His knowledge of traditional rhythms is honed by years spent with the national ballet of Zaire ( DR Congo ) under Ray Lema.Sam is the man who popularised traditional and modern Africa music in New Zealand.

- Hannah Fang: Chinese/Kiwi violinist

Poetry:

- Selina MArsh: Dr Selina Tusitala Marsh is an Auckland-based Pacific poet and scholar of Samoan, Tuvaluan, English, Scottish and French descent.

- Tusiata Avia: is of Samoan and Palagi descent. Born and raised in Christchurch, she has spent the last decade travelling the globe. In 2004 she published her first collection of poetry, Wild Dogs Under My Skirt (Wellington: VUP). She is also a performance poet.

Dance:

- Afriky: an afro dance and drums performance group. Camila and her team have facilitated workshops and performances at multiple festivals and events throughout New Zealand.

- Mudra Dance Company: Mudra Dance Company is the premiere Indian Classical Dance Company of New Zealand. Led by the dance luminary Vivek Kinra, this company uses the dance style of Bharata-Natyam as the mode of expression to create a spectacle of rhythm, colour, music and motion.

Theatre:

- Hawaiki TŪ presents 'TAURITE' a special performance in collaboration with Tāmaki Makaurau Kapa Haka Group, Te Manu Huia.

- The Eternal Queers: A fictional story of four real-life rainbow activists set in an afterlife - in 2079 to be exact - is the idea behind what's believed to be Aotearoa's first all Queer People Of Colour play. It's the second play by Black Afro-Caribbean lesbian playwright Estelle Chout.

Art:

- Ahua Collective: Āhua Collective is a new platform committed to empowering QTBIPOC (Queer, Trans, Black/Indigenous/People of Colour) artists and decolonising our creative future.

[dresupi]

I failed.

I think this will be the hardest truth I ever have to admit about myself. 

I danced for 16 years, never did anything with the knowledge, in fact, I’m fat now. Not that weight has any bearing on health or dancing ability, but for me, it’s because I stopped moving. I started hurting all the time and so I stopped moving.

I got really good at playing flute/piccolo, I played for eight years, again, never did anything with it. My flute’s in the closet with rotted-out finger pads and I have arthritis flareups in my fingers that would keep me from playing anyway even if my flute was in mint condition.

I tried to finish college. I failed. At three degrees, I failed. I never finished. I even went back as an adult after I’d had kids and tried again. Failed again. Not at my classes, mind you.  I got good grades, I just couldn’t keep going. Not when it was going to cost me more than what I could potentially make, and there was no guarantee that I could use the degree anyway.

I failed at being an actress. I just never had the courage to go audition. I couldn’t take the rejection, so I just never tried.

I tried to be a blogger for a little while. Back when I was still lying to myself about everything and anything.  I failed at that too. Probably because of the lying. I might be okay at it now if I tried.

I tried to be a self-published author, made a little money, but failed at marketing, and utterly, failed at being a successful self-published author.

And then I stopped writing altogether and failed at being an author. (For a little bit, I started back up writing fanworks, so I’m no longer failing at being an author, just at being one who gets paid)

I’m a bisexual woman, and I lied to myself about it for years. YEARS. I finally admitted my sexuality after I’d gotten married.  My husband knows and supports me. My online/pocket friends know and support me. But I will never come out to my extended family or anyone who knows me in person.  It’s safer that way. But at the same time, it makes me feel I’ve failed at being queer. Who am I to give anyone advice when I’m closeted for life?  Or at least until the people who I know will use it against me aren’t around any longer? It makes me feel cowardly at most times. There are only a few instances where I feel as if I’m doing the right thing with respect to that part of my identity.

I have failed at pretty much everything I’ve ever done in my life.

But I am not a failure.

My failings are not my raison d’etre. My successes aren’t either. I don’t exist to fail or succeed. I simply exist.

It’s hard for me to say that. Because failing, in and of itself, feels like a hammer on my head, nailing me down into the hardwood of defeat. And the more times the hammer hits, the harder it becomes to pry myself out of the hole and try again.

But that’s the myth they feed us, isn’t it? If you don’t succeed, keep trying until you do. Or until you die. Just keep getting back up and trying again until something sticks or you keel over. No matter what, though, keep running through that machine. Start the cycle and build up your confidence.  Never mind that you’ve got the weight of all your past failings weighing down on you and the memory of what it was like not to succeed just pushing you into the mud. Just keep on going until you reach a point where you can lie to yourself and tell yourself that this is it. This is the big one. It’s going to work this time, you know it.  And then you can just tumble over on the other side and fall into the pits of despair after having failed again.  And again. And again.

Why? Why am I sitting around lamenting that I’m not making Jeff Bezos richer by writing a best-selling werewolf pack/romance and selling it like crazy on Amazon? Why am I beating myself up over choosing to not finish my degree because it was going to cost me more money than I’d ever make using it?  Why am I deriding myself, day after day, because of brain chemistry that keeps me from being able to get out and go, go, go?  (come to think of it, the self-derision is probably due to that funky brain chem as well) Why am I doing this to myself?

I don’t know. It makes no logical sense. Other than, I’ve been brainwashed into thinking that this proletariat nightmare is the norm and what I should strive for every single day.

Because truthfully, my success or failure, neither matters.  They don’t. It’s literally whether or not I can make some rich person richer or not. Seriously. That’s all it is. True, I’d be more financially stable if I succeeded. But is that what I truly want? Financial stability would be amazing, but what about the cost in this climate?

Do I want to never see my husband and kids? To have to work myself into the ground just to afford something that society says I need to have in order to be happy? Why can’t I just be happy now? Why do I feel like I’m perpetually waiting for something better to happen so I can finally live up to my imaginary potential that I lofted up for myself so very long ago when I was asked for the first time:

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I sure as fuck didn’t want to be a failure.

And I’m not.

I don’t know what I am. I’ll have to get back to you on that. But I know I am not a failure. 

I simply failed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S, please don’t message me with ideas for becoming a success. Every question in this piece was rhetorical and requires no response from you. This was a therapeutic essay of sorts that makes me feel like I have a teeny modicum of control over my careening rollercoaster of a life. 

[awko-orange-potato]

LGBT Representation During the 1960-80s

Homosexuality has a history of being a taboo in the United States, but from the 1960s to the 1980s, more widespread awareness of homosexual prevalence in the country led to massive panic. Many attest the increased awareness of homosexuality in the United States to the popular published works of American biologist, Alfred Kinsey, in which revealed there were at least 20 million gay men and women in the United States at the time (Schiller & Rosenburg, 1985). Prior to The Kinsey Reports, which were published not long after the conclusion of WWII, there was more of a common perception that homosexuals were only a small handful of the population (Schiller & Rosenburg, 1985). The reports revealed to everyone that their previous perceptions about the world were incorrect, so naturally many people started to panic. Not only did the start of the Cold War bring widespread fear to the United States over nuclear missile strikes and the spread of communism, but it also brought an increased fear of homosexuals.

During the Cold War, “homosexuals were cast as a serious threat to the moral health and security of the United States by both politicians and journalists” (Hall, 2013, 1110). Homosexuality became associated with communism because many conservative politicians at the time, like infamous Senator Joseph McCarthy, used the rhetoric publicly as a tool to fit their political agendas (Schiller & Rosenburg, 1985). The media perpetuated this trend by broadcasting many of these instances of homosexuality, and because at this time many homosexuals did not have a voice, they were being falsely represented and often demonized. This widespread panic surrounding homosexuals during the Cold War, became known as the “Pink Scare,” an homage to the “Red Scare,”  the phrase in which described the increased fear of communism in America at the time (Hall, 2013, 1110). Because of the Pink Scare, many gay men and women lost their jobs and livelihoods, especially homosexuals in the military in which were often dishonorably discharged, received no veteran benefits, and were no longer allowed to reassume their positions (Schiller & Rosenburg, 1985). However, in spite of these issues, groups began to form amongst the people affected by them, and as time moved forward, more and more people began to join these groups either because they felt it was a way to be represented, or simply just to support the cause. Gay rights activists argued against the idea that homosexuals were a threat to national security and even used patriotic ideas in order to appeal to the rest of the population. This became a frequent strategy during the early 1960s, in which many advocacy groups invoked the rhetoric that anti-gay discrimination is “against American ideals” (Hall, 2013, 1112).

As a result of gay advocacy groups becoming more popular, how many gay people viewed themselves changed. Many homosexuals started to believe that the issues that they faced in regards to their homosexuality was not their fault, an idea in which they were made to believe for so long, but that it was fault of  “the social attitudes of the people around them” (Schiller & Rosenburg, 1985). The common ways in which grassroots organizers portrayed themselves started to evolve. Following the Stonewall Riot of June, 28, 1969, many activists and organizations embraced Revolutionary Politics and more radical rhetoric, rather than continuing with their patriotic-centered approaches (Hall, 2013, 1114). By this time, queer media outlets were continuing to increase in popularity, therefore increasing representation for the LGBT community. Queer media outlets were able to publicize the falsities presented by more mainstream outlets, and specifically tackle the common rhetoric of homosexuality being a mental illness in which many psychologists of the period claimed (Gross, 2002, 25). With further representation and advocacy on gay issues, homosexuals and other queer people started to “think of themselves as a political force and not just an oppressed minority” (Gross, 2002, 29). From the 1960s up until the early 70s, increased awareness of homosexuality was commonplace, and a lot of progress was made in order to abolish the frequent inaccurate views of the masses. However, the sexual revolution and the beginning spread of the AIDS virus proved to complicate this progress in many ways, arguably for better or for worse.

In the United States during the 1970s and 80s, there were a lot of media outlets which framed sexual infections to be the “consequence” of the sexual revolution (Gross, 2002, 94). Consequently, because one of the first people in the U.S. to be discovered with the AIDS virus was a gay man, it became common to associate the virus with homosexuals. At the start of the AIDS epidemic, many started to call the virus, “G.R.I.D.,” meaning “Gay Related Immune Deficiency,” which then became casually known as the “gay plague,” (Gross, 2002, 95). Because of the rhetoric associating gay people with the AIDS virus, it was viewed as a “gay issue,” and therefore the mainstream media chose not to publish much about it when it began (Gross, 2002, 95-96). That proved to be very damaging for the population as a whole, because many people who did not identify as homosexual were under the impression that they could not get the virus, which was not the case. “What society judged was not the severity of the disease but the social acceptability of those affected with it,” (Gross, 2002, 97). In part due to the societal, governmental, medical, and legislative failures of the United States at the rise of the AIDS epidemic, the amount of AIDS deaths went from approximately 500,000 in 1987 to 1 million in just two years (France, 2012). A lot of human rights issues began to arise during this time because of how gay people were treated in the country due to the arising illness. Advocacy groups began to form and gain more backing in response to issues such as overpriced AIDS medication, crippling side effects to medications due to improper testing, hospitals turning patients away completely, and much more (France, 2012). One of the most famous organizations that arose during the time of the AIDS crisis was called “ACT UP,” which stood for “AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power.” ACT UP, along with many other organizations of its time, made strides for gay rights in the United States (France, 2012). Because of the organizations advocating for these issues, more progress was made for gay rights than almost ever before. Public protests forced much of the population to acknowledge that people were dying in masses from the AIDS virus and it would not stop until they did something about it (France, 2012). Public protests and sit-ins at press briefings also proved to push the government to remain accountable for the issues surrounding the AIDS epidemic because they were highly publicized. It seemed that simply because homosexuals were dying, that was when the general population began to look at them as more human. However, unfortunately millions of lives were lost in the time it took for much of the country and the world to wake up to the idea that this was an event which needed to be taken seriously. In the movie, “How to Survive a Plague,” a man inflicted with the AIDS virus brought up the important notion of, “what does a decent society do with people that hurt themselves because they’re human, who smoke too much, who eat too much, who drive carelessly, who don’t have safe sex? I think the answer to that is a decent society does not put people out to pasture and let them die because they’ve done a human thing.” A lot of organizations formed at the time of the AIDS crisis simply wanted to convey that sentiment to the rest of the country.

Works Cited

Before Stonewall: the Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community. (1985). Kanopy. Retrieved September 2021, from https://temple.kanopy.com/video/stonewall.

Gross, L. P. (2002). Up from invisibility: Lesbians, gay men, and the media in America. Columbia University Press.

Hall, S. (2013). Americanism, Un-Americanism, and the Gay Rights Movement. Journal of American Studies, 47(4), 1109–1130. https://doi.org/10.1017/s002187581300145x

How to Survive a Plague. (2012). Amazon. Retrieved September 2021, from https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.5aa9f74b-8bff-7782-0d22-0822e7f6abcc?autoplay=1&ref_=atv_cf_strg_wb.

[klhiers]

Author Bio

K.L. “Kat” Hiers is an embalmer, restorative artist, and queer writer. Licensed in both funeral directing and funeral service, they worked in the death industry for nearly a decade. Their first love was always telling stories, and they have been writing for over twenty years, penning their very first book at just eight years old. Publishers generally do not accept manuscripts in Hello Kitty notebooks, however, but they never gave up.

Following the success of their first novel, Cold Hard Cash, they now enjoy writing professionally, focusing on spinning tales of sultry passion, exotic worlds, and emotional journeys. They love attending horror movie conventions and indulging in cosplay of their favorite characters. They live in Zebulon, NC, with their husband and their children, some of whom have paws and a few that only pretend to because they think it’s cute.

FAQ

1. Where can I find your books?

You can purchase all of them through Amazon here!

2. How long have you been writing?

I’ve been writing for over twenty-five years, both original works and fan fiction. I’ve always wanted to be an author, and this is a dream come true for me.

3. Do you still write fan fiction?

Nope. I will always have a great love for fan fiction and support it 100% (including filing off serial numbers for mainstream publication as I have), but I will not write it again. Moving forward, I’m only focusing on my own original works.

4. But, but, but whyyyy?

There are a lot of reasons, but the big one is that fandom is no longer a healthy space for me. I’m happy to lurk, but I’m not going to actively engage in or create any new content for fandom.

5. Do you still have a copy of (insert fan fic name)?

With a few exceptions that are posted on my Patreon for public viewing and what’s left on my AO3 page, I no longer have copies of any of my old fan fiction.

6. Favorite OTP’s?

Reno/Rufus (FF7), Gordlock (Harvey Bullock x Jim Gordon), Coldflash (Captain Cold x The Flash), Hannigram (Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham), Drowley (Dean Winchester x Crowley), and Memmy (Me x Your Mom).

7. Current Fandom Obsession?

Lurking in old ship circles. Nothing’s really got hooks in me right now. OFMD did but oof. Nope. Bye. XD

[grandhotelabyss]

I see it's necessary, tiresome as it is, to go through this slowly given the level of tendentious oversimplification offered above. I think it was Nabokov who sagely said that artists should only get involved in politics if we need to protect ourselves from politics. So I will begin by saying I don’t care about Dr. Seuss, I don’t care if the controllers of an author’s estate make decisions about which of the author’s works to publish, I don’t care if various people involved in children’s education and entertainment judge certain works to no longer be fit for children. I didn’t care one bit about any of this, which until yesterday was mindless outrage bait for the right-wing side of the culture war, who, if they really are right-wingers, should have hated Seuss to begin with.

I care now because increasingly monopolistic retailers are taking it upon themselves to decide what physical media can and cannot be sold by selective and often subjective ideological criteria. I’m perfectly sure What I Saw at the Zoo or whatever it’s called indulges in deplorable racist caricature. What am I not sure about, then? Let me offer an instance. I've introduced it before, but I think I have a lot of new readers anyway, so this will be fresh to some of you.

In 1997, Samuel R. Delany wrote an epistolary essay, collected as “Letter to Q-----” in his volume About Writing, where he explains to his interlocutor his view of Toni Morrison’s classic first novel, The Bluest Eye. Delany explains that the underlying logic of Morrison’s narrative is inherently oppressive because, in the guise of a polemic against racist beauty standards, it is also a tract against the mixing of the races, and that he, moreover, as the father of a mixed-race daughter, finds it a socially corrupting novel. He goes so far as to compare Morrison’s novel to Birth of a Nation. Now this is one person’s interpretation, though a very learned one; I am sure it could be countered. I am also sure that if The Bluest Eye really is what Delany says it is, then there is an argument to be made that it should not be offered for sale on eBay or, perhaps, Amazon. Do you trust the executives that run these companies to make that decision? I don’t—no more than I trust religious and feminist crusaders against pornography, who often make persuasive points about the exploitative character of the sex industry, to be able to tell Ulysses from a recorded assault.

Now that we’re on this uncomfortable topic, let’s consider Delany himself. Delany has written fiction (I haven’t read it) that would be illegal in some countries, and has expressed support for organizations that defend pederasty, and perhaps worse than pederasty, for what I trust are earnest political commitments to fighting the ways that state suppression has, in his view, harmed queer youth. I too distrust the state, but I also think that to defend “man-boy love” as such is a severe swerve much too far in the direction of a freedom that becomes another’s enthrallment. If these facts were more widely known, would Delany’s books remain for sale on eBay and Amazon? Do you trust executives, moved by social-media pressure campaigns or political organizations, to make these decisions? 

Do you not see that events could switch the corporations’ political loyalties in a second? That another 9/11 could have Edward Said books banned from what are increasingly the only places you can buy books at all because his views “aid terrorists” if we allow this precedent? That this deadly weapon you hand them will not always be wielded in the favor of your tastes or interests or beliefs? 

[keiyokoi]

Reflection “Essay” #2

Hey everyone! I just wanted to take some time this week and talk about something that I think is extremely important, so buckle up, because this piece is kind of long.

Activism is something we encounter in our everyday lives, whether it be in social media, the news, or something ordinary like laptop stickers.  Most recently, Black Lives Matter was under the spotlight (as it should) in the wake of America’s track record of police brutality and George Floyd’s death.  Unfortunately, the movement that was fueled by public outcry and outstanding shows of allyship in the early summer months has largely vanished.  

The voices of many celebrities and influencers on platforms Instagram and Twitter have gone silent, moving on as the news turned away from BLM protests despite the thousands of people that continued to rally around the country and the world.  As we wrap up election season and move into December, what the US is focused on now is the soon-to-be former POTUS and other political news.  (My point is that the world of media has largely deemed BLM “no longer relevant” despite the ongoing struggle BIPOC folxs continue to face even after thousands of protests nation AND worldwide.)

To all the people who posted black squares with the hashtags #BlackoutTuesday and #BlackLivesMatter, where are you now?  Where is the support, the public outcry that had been so loud in June?  Why do civil rights only matter when they’re relevant in the media, when you can score easy clout from it?  

I’m sure most of them had their hearts in the right place, but the fact remains true that they fell victim to ‘ally theater’, a term that Anderson and Accomando credit Princess Harmony Rodrigez for coining.  The two authors go on to say, “The concern here is about activists who focus on performing an identity for an audience of disadvantaged folk rather than doing the hard and often unseen work of social change.” (P 713) and “To get out of the surface-level ally theater loop, white people need to challenge other whites about racism—even when no one else is watching.” (P 714) in their article The Pitfalls of Ally Performance.  

That’s where many people fail the first step of being an ally; they mistakenly believe that for a month of sparse posts concerning awareness, they gain the privilege of being an ally.  They forget that allyship is a title that needs to be earned.  It’s not enough to play activist for a month and then move on with your life—to be an ally, you must continue to be an activist, even if that’s something as simple as shopping at BIPOC small-owned businesses instead of Amazon.  (Here’s a little help for those of you who don’t know where to start: 42 Black-owned beauty brands to shop at instead of Sephora, and 108 Black-owned businesses you can check out.)  You have to acknowledge the hard work of POC the exact same way you praise white celebrities and influencers for being ‘woke’.  A fantastic example is Harry Styles.  

For the 2019 Met Gala, Styles showed up to the red carpet in heels and a sheer black Gucci blouse.  This made fans go nuts; they praised him for being a camp icon but glossed over equally stunning outfits like Billy Porter’s golden, winged ensemble (who was carried in on a litter!!! by SIX MEN!!!) or Lena Waithe’s suit.  This year fans ran to social media again, this time to gush over the photo spread of him in a dress, thanking Styles for ending toxic masculinity (yes this was a Tweet I read with my own two eyes), congratulating him on defying gender norms, and completely forgetting about others who did it before him.  

Male and AMAB (assigned male at birth) non-binary stars like Billy Porter, Jared Leto, Ezra Miller, and JVN are only a handful who’ve appeared in public in dresses and/or skirts before, making it unfair for people to heap gratuitous praise onto Styles’s photoshoot.  I’m not trying to bash him or anything and I think that cover was gorgeous, but you can’t be an ally while you idolize Harry Styles for wearing a dress but ignore POC/queer folx who did too.

Now, the second topic I wanted to address: a second helping of fake allyship, this time in the corporate realm.  

I love June, but it’s also a mentally exhausting month queer individuals who are sick and tired of fake allyship.  Cisgenderists crawl out of the woodwork to whine about ‘straight pride’ as if they don’t have enough of it, influencers capitalize on Pride’s popularity to promote their brand, and large corporations break out the rainbow merch to make a pretty penny off the same people marginalize the other eleven months of the year.  

June is for people like me to celebrate our identities together, whether it be at a public Pride event or in the privacy of our own homes.  It is not for big businesses to slap rainbows on their merchandise and boast false claims of LGBTQ+ support when corporations like Walmart and Starbucks have done nothing at all to support the message or the mission of Pride.  

Building an Abolitionist and Trans Queer Movement With Everything We’ve Got by Bassichis, Lee, and Spade writes “transgender and gender-non-conforming people are repeatedly abandoned and marginalized in the agendas and priorities of our “lead” organizations” (P743) and I couldn’t agree more.  The fact of the matter is that under this capitalist regime, queer individuals are just another tool for the privledged elite to take advantage of.

Mega corporations claim to be on our side for a month, playing at queer allyship with rainbow beer cans and happy ads that feature more rainbows and scripted proclamations of LGBTQ+ support, but disappear just as quickly come July.  

Certain celebrities tweet during Pride, garnering the applause of the public and cause people across social media to ‘stan’ celebrities that post “Happy Pride!” just for the shallow allyship it grants them.  And it’s so normalized for public figures to post all month long about Pride, and suddenly stop in July that we don’t question it.

Donald Trump occasionally preaches about his support of the queer community (which we all know is a joke) and how he’s “the first president to openly support the LGBT community” despite the fact that he gutted LGBTQ+ legislation and his terrible track record concerning queer folx.  If he really was a queer ally then why, as Bassichis, Lee, and Spade say, is there “ no inheritance, no health benefits from employers, no legal immigration status, and no state protection of our relationship to our children.”?  

That’s why I want to put the spotlight on a game called The Last of Us: Part II.  It’s a post-apocalyptic survival horror game so it’s the last place you’d expect to find LGBTQ+ representation, but the main character is a lesbian who has a (Jewish) girlfriend and has an Asian (not white!!) transman, along with another character I strongly believe is aromantic and/or asexual.  Their character arcs tie into the story well despite many fans calling out the game developers for pandering to the queer community, and the exhilaration I felt when I saw myself (mostly) represented in a character (who was voiced by an Asian transman!) is unparalleled.   

They didn’t have to include any LGBTQ+ content or accurate representation, could have left the main character’s sexuality presumably heterosexual, but they went where most bestselling games don’t, because they’re genuine allies.  They brought in voice actors who were Black, Asian, and Latinx to voice characters who were Black, Asian, and Latinx.  

That’s what we need more of, not trendsetting celebrities and people who say trans rights just to feel better about themselves.  

[luninosity]

Look what’s available again as of today!

It’s the second Kitten & Witch story - and it’s 20% off at JMS Books, which makes it only $2.39!

If you’ve read the first one and liked it (or even if you haven’t read the first one - I think you can pick up Colin & David’s story fairly easily here), perhaps you’d like this one too!

Contains a feline shapeshifter and his white witch boyfriend, moving in together, a literal house on fire, magical sex, ALL the hurt/comfort, and finally saying “I love you.”

Buy at JMS Books here! Or at Amazon here! Or at BN here!

(If you’ve already bought the Less Than Three version, from my previous publisher, this one is...probably 99% the same? Very slightly longer and with some sentence tweaking, but substantially the same...though you want to pick up the re-release in any case and support a small queer press, right? in preparation for the third and final Colin & David story? :D :D )

[cryptidfuckery]

If you're a cis cosplayer looking to get a binder, literally the only way you could take away resources from trans people in need is by entering trans-specific giveaways or entering yourself into a community run binder fund/trans resource outreach. Like op said, by buying binder from companies (especially trans/queer run companies), you are supporting the people who both provide and need them.

Binding has changed a lot in the past 10 years. I remember when our only options were underworks, shitty unsafe Amazon finds, and maybe a few self run businesses that were hard to find and even harder to access (cost, time, and still potentially unsafe methods of construction). It's been AMAZING seeing the advances in safe binding technology and construction. It's been AMAZING seeing the knowledge of how to safely bind permeate through the community. But 10 years ago it was a different story.

10 years ago I remember the community circulating any and all possible binding options (safe and unsafe) because that's all we had. Options that weren't made for us, but that we worked with anyway. I remember seeing MANY binder giveaway posts, and the discourse of cis cosplayers entering them. Back then, yes, taking away the supplies from both community outreach and the companies providing them directly impacted the availability of accessing a binder, because there was limited supply for both.

Now? You can find aforable binders that not only are safe, but give you options on styles, lengths, even colors! If you told me 10 years ago that I could actually get a fucking miku binder from a brand name (this is just a funny example i don't know if any binder companies are actually doing this lmao), and on top of that I got to choose the length, binding technology, AND the fabric wasn't awful to wear? That there are binders in every skin color? That now we have binders that aren't sold as medical equipment, or worse, awfully constructed and dangerous? I probably would have cried at the thought that we got this far in such a short time.

If you are not trans but interested in binding for WHATEVER reason, the best thing you can do is fund the people providing this service for trans people and donating to outreach programs that help trans people get the equipment they need.

Safe binding is extremely important, and I am testament to that! When I was a teenager, I stupidly wore my binder (underworks at the time if I remeber correctly) 13 hours straight one day for a cosplay meetup, then again at school the next day. No breaks. I knew better. Because of this, I have recurring back pain on the right side of my spine because of a muscle injury from improper binding. Because of this I'm no longer able to bind for more than a few hours at MOST, and even then that old injury acts up.

And please understand this: I GOT OFF EASY. YOU CAN GET MUCH WORSE INJURIES FROM IMPROPER AND UNSAFE BINDING. But because of my stupid decision over those two days, I can no longer comfortably bind, even with the best binders out there.

Unsafe binding is NEVER worth it. Using unsafe binders is NEVER worth it. Taking a risk with your health and safety is NEVER worth the lasting consequences that can come from it.

In short, if you are not trans but are looking to bind: buy your binders from reputable sources, bind safely, and support the trans community that brought you these amazing products!!

i think the existence of those amazon binders specifically for cosplayers & butches is Bad, actually. they're usually unsafe and low-quality, from literally everything i've heard. if you're a cis woman & a cosplayer and/or butch and you want a binder, just buy from like underworks or spectrum or whatever. it's fine

you're not "taking resources", you're funding and therefore increasing demand for safely-made chest binders + also making it more normal and therefore easier for closeted transmascs to get them. just don't enter those free giveaway things specifically for trans ppl, and it's all good. there's no downsides

[booksandtea]

Other Words for Smoke by Sarah Maria Griffin Genre: Fantasy | Horror | New Adult Length: 336 pages Published on 2nd April 2019 by Titan Books Purchase*: Amazon | Wordery | Blackwells *these are affiliate links Sarah Maria Griffin: Instagram | Twitter | Goodreads Received for free from publisher in exchange for an honest review + bought 2 copies myself

Synopsis: The house at the end of the lane burned down, and Rita Frost and her teenage ward, Bevan, were never seen again. The townspeople never learned what happened. Only Mae and her brother Rossa know the truth; they spent two summers with Rita and Bevan, two of the strangest summers of their lives… Because nothing in that house was as it seemed: a cat who was more than a cat, and a dark power called Sweet James that lurked behind the wallpaper, enthralling Bevan with whispers of neon magic and escape. And in the summer heat, Mae became equally as enthralled with Bevan. Desperately in the grips of first love, she’d give the other girl anything. A dangerous offer when all that Sweet James desired was a taste of new flesh…

Screams into the endless void about how this brilliant book with a theme of obsession is my current obsession. I first finished reading it on a Saturday night in March, I started re-reading it again the next morning.

I am not okay.

I love this book. [hi look at me being a mess on twitter 32 times]

I first heard about Other Words for Smoke when I attended an Waterstones Q+A Event of Sarah Maria Griffin and Christina Henry. Hearing these two talk was so much fun and I knew I’d have to read some of Sarah’s work because she had me awe-struck ok.

I reached out that night to Lydia about a review copy of OWFS and the rest is history. I’m history. I’m dead.

It’s like returning home, there’s a comfort I find in this book. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it.

OWFS follows twins, Rossa and Mae, as they spend two summers with their Great-Aunt Rita, her teen ward Bevan, and a larger than life cat Bobby. In a house that is strange than meets the eye with a Sweet James, an owl living in the walls demanding his hunger be quenched.

There are two main sections to the book; the first Summer where the twins are 14 and get sent to avoid family disrupt. And the second Summer when the twins are 17 and return to Rita’s to escape their family divorce, older and more prepared to face the different type of horror that Rita’s house holds.

“How strange was this mutual, silent agreement that maybe something was badly wrong in Rita’s house, that they’d seen something awful there that they couldn’t quite name, but  somehow they felt more able to manage that wrong than their parents.”

There are also some inbetween chapters which give us background development and the history of Rita, Audrey, Bobby,  and James. As well as some key scenes from the twins in their years between the two summers.

(Its in this part that there is forced outing which I wasn’t a fan of, but its addressed and I’m happy with how Mae stood up for herself)

Rita is the best authority figure I’ve read about. She’s both motherly and caring but also a power to be fearer. She nurtures Mae’s exploration with magic and tarot reading, she helps shape Rossa into a more confident being.

“…if this thing was evil, then he was good, and he must be able to overcome it. He just had to find the courage – he knew it was in their somewhere, but he couldn’t grasp it.”

Rossa is the character I struggle most to talk about as realistically, I think I’m most like him. Or I would be in that house, faced with that danger and horror. I can’t see me ever being brave, I can see me struggle to keep a float, wanting to keep my sister safe, but not having the courage to face it. And feeling a bit of an outsider to the others in the house who’ve all formed a strong bond.

I think he is at his strongest when he’s not at ends with Mae. The two together have a great dynamic together in the book and I lived for the two supporting each other through the toughest times, and their sibling banter.

“A troupe of sunflowers, standing tall and there – there suddenly like a jewel on the lawn, Bevan sprawled out under the sun on a tartan blanket, her flat stomach to the sky. Her legs a hundred miles of tan.

Oh no.”

Bevan’s blonde hair and “her unfair, impossible legs” help Mae develop the strongest and ever-consuming of crush’s. Mae’s chapters were honestly my favourite to read because SMG has nailed down that First Crush obsession, how it engulfs your every fibre, and you want to do everything to leave a good impression – even allow them to pierce your ears, which terrifies you.

Bobby is a good soul whilst Mae battles with all these feelings engulfing her. He is larger than life, and more than what he seems. But his secret is something earned when the twins are ready and it takes Rossa a little longer to be welcomed into the coven.

“Love is the realest thing, Mae. The world around you will become realer the more you feel it. Doesn’t music sound better already? Isn’t there more meaning? There’s a reasons you had that song on loop. It’s deepened.”

Bevan is also a storm. Mae knows this, accepts it, and both loves and fears her. Bevan is ready to set the world on fire with her anger, confidence, and naivety. Her misplaced trust in Sweet James for a share of his power and “affection” is the moving force of the plot for OWFS.

You can’t read this book and not pick up on how Sweet James is a representation of toxic relationships. He manipulates and controls Bevan to cause harm to others, and later hopes she can set him free from his chains. He is nothing to be desired.

I found it very therapeutic to be able to reflect on how abusive he is as an outsider, whilst reading about how enticed and dependant Bevan is on him and his power. How broken she is when he’s stolen away. It really is terrifying.

“…and you thought you understood all the way that he could scare you, bargain with you.”

But I wouldn’t have wanted their relationship to have been portrayed any differently as they really hooked you in. To be honest, all the characters do in this book.

The only character I haven’t spoken about yet is the queer and forever young Audrey. Her path is one we are introduced too in the second half of the book mostly. Her role is so very important, not only because it contextualises the story with the Magdalene laundries, but also she’s very interwoven with Rita and the separate paths they are both on to be hopefully be together.

I really could talk about my love for this book all day, in fact in real time I have. But honestly this is the perfect blend of fantasy and horror which I’ve been highly recommending to everyone who will listen.

I’m almost done with my second reread (I had to limit myself) and I will be annotating Beth’s copy later on. I also have my another copy going around my USA friends who’re annotating it for me.

Like I said this is pretty much my life right now.

This review probably isn’t good enough. I don’t do my intense feelings enough justice. I don’t do Sarah’s amazing writing justice.

Please read this book. Also, message me when you do.

“You lonesome?” she asked absently. “Are you? replied the cat.”

5 stars / 5 stars

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Review: Other Words For Smoke by @griffski | #Gifted @lydiagittins @TitanBooks Other Words for Smoke by Sarah Maria Griffin Genre: Fantasy | Horror | New Adult Length: 336 pages…