#Am I the only one who’s feeling like this?

[pucksandpower]

The One Left Behind

Max Verstappen x Lewis Hamilton’s ex!Reader

Summary: your first love was a seven-time world champion with a chip on his shoulder who would stop at nothing to finally get that eighth … even at the expense of you. Your second (and last) love is a five-time world champion with racing in his blood who proves, once and for all, that he would give it all up for you without even being asked … and regret absolutely nothing

Based on this request

The rain taps softly against the glass walls of the penthouse. The lights of Monaco shimmer beyond the windows, reflections dancing across the polished floor like scattered stars.

You sit cross-legged on the oversized couch, Lewis sprawled beside you, his legs stretched out, an arm slung casually over the backrest. He’s scrolling through his phone, something about sector times and telemetry, but his attention isn���t fully there. Not tonight.

“Lewis,” you say, gently nudging his side with your foot.

“Hmm?” He doesn’t look up.

You nudge him harder, and this time he glances your way, a half-smile tugging at his lips. “What’s up?”

“I need you to focus for, like, five minutes.”

“I am focusing,” he says, holding up his phone as evidence. “Race prep.”

“On me, Lewis.”

That gets his attention. He sets the phone down on the coffee table, screen still glowing with data, and leans back, giving you his full, undivided gaze. “Alright, I’m all yours. What’s on your mind?”

You hesitate for a moment, fingers curling into the soft fabric of your sweater. The words are there, sitting heavy on your tongue, but saying them feels like stepping off the edge of something solid. Still, you’ve been together for almost six years. If you can’t have this conversation with him now, when can you?

“I’ve been thinking,” you start, your voice steady but quiet, “about us. About the future.”

Lewis tilts his head, curiosity flickering across his face. “What about it?”

You take a deep breath. “I want to get married, Lewis. I want to have a family. With you.”

His expression shifts, not into shock or annoyance, but something harder to read. He doesn’t respond right away, which only makes the silence stretch uncomfortably between you.

“I know the timing’s not perfect,” you add quickly, trying to fill the gap. “I know you’re in the middle of-”

“The most important season of my career?” He finishes for you, a wry smile softening his tone.

“Yeah, that.”

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Babe, it’s not that I don’t want those things with you. I do. You know I do.”

“Do I?” The question slips out before you can stop it, and you see the flicker of surprise in his eyes.

“Of course you do,” he says, his voice low, almost defensive. “Six years. That’s not nothing.”

“I know it’s not nothing. But sometimes it feels like we’re stuck in the same place. Like we’re … waiting for something that never comes.”

Lewis scrubs a hand down his face, the faintest hint of frustration breaking through his calm demeanor. “It’s not that simple, love. You know how much this season means to me. Winning an eighth title, it’s history. Legacy. Everything I’ve worked for my whole life.”

“And what about after that?” You press, leaning closer. “What happens when you get it? Then what?”

His eyes search yours, and for a moment, he looks almost … unsure. It’s a rare thing, seeing Lewis Hamilton unsure of anything.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I’ve never really thought about it. Not in detail.”

“Well, maybe you should,” you say, your voice soft but firm. “Because I have. And I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with just being … your girlfriend forever.”

Lewis winces at the word, like it stings. “That’s not what you are to me. You’re everything. You know that.”

“Then prove it.”

He leans back again, running both hands through his hair as he exhales sharply. “God, you don’t make this easy, do you?”

“It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be real.”

For a long moment, he just looks at you, his dark eyes searching your face like he’s trying to solve some impossible puzzle. Then, slowly, he nods.

“Okay,” he says, his voice steady now, resolute. “When I win this season — when I get that eighth title — I’ll retire.”

Your breath catches. “What?”

“You heard me,” he says, a small, almost mischievous smile playing on his lips. “I’ll retire. I’ll hang up my helmet, put a ring on your finger, and we’ll start trying for that family you’ve been dreaming about.”

You stare at him, equal parts stunned and skeptical. “You’re serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Lewis, you can’t just say that to shut me up.”

“I’m not trying to shut you up,” he says, reaching for your hand. His fingers are warm, steady, and when he looks at you now, there’s no hesitation, no uncertainty. “I’m saying it because I mean it. When I win, it’ll be the perfect ending. The perfect time to step away. And then it’s just us. No races, no travel, no distractions. Just you and me.”

“And a baby,” you add, because if you’re going to dream, you might as well dream big.

He chuckles, the sound warm and rich, and pulls you closer until you’re half in his lap. “And a baby,” he agrees.

It feels like a promise, one sealed with the way he presses a kiss to your forehead, his arms wrapping around you like they’re anchoring you to him.

But somewhere, deep down, a small, cautious voice whispers: what if he doesn’t win?

***

The suite is silent except for the faint hum of the minibar fridge and the muffled sounds of celebration filtering in from somewhere outside. It’s as if the entire world is rejoicing, but here, in the confines of this hotel room, everything feels like it’s crumbling.

Lewis hasn’t said a word since you got back. He walked in, dropped his helmet bag by the door, and slumped onto the edge of the bed, still in his team gear. His shoulders are hunched, his head bowed, his hands clasped tightly between his knees.

You stand a few feet away, arms crossed over your chest, unsure whether to approach him or leave him to his thoughts. The weight in the room is unbearable, pressing down on your chest until it’s hard to breathe.

“Lewis,” you say softly, testing the waters.

He doesn’t move.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Nothing. Not even a flicker of acknowledgment.

You take a tentative step closer. “I know it hurts-”

“Don’t,” he says sharply, cutting you off. His voice is hoarse, raw from the screams and protests he let out over the radio hours ago. He still hasn’t looked up.

You flinch but press on, refusing to let the conversation die. “I’m just trying to help.”

“There’s nothing to help,” he snaps, finally lifting his head. His eyes are bloodshot, his expression a mix of devastation and barely restrained fury. “It’s done. Over. What’s there to say?”

Your heart twists at the sight of him like this — so broken, so unlike the unshakable man you’ve always known. “I just thought-”

“Don’t you get it?” He interrupts, his voice rising. He stands abruptly, towering over you, his frustration bubbling over. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to sit here and dissect how it all fell apart. I want to forget.”

You step back, your own emotions starting to fray at the edges. “You can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. You need to face it.”

“And what good would that do?” He shoots back, pacing the room now like a caged animal. “Would it give me my title? My win? Would it change the fact that I got robbed tonight?”

His words hang heavy in the air, and for a moment, neither of you speaks.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly.

“Yeah,” he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. “Me too.”

The silence stretches again, but this time it’s different. More fragile. You can feel it cracking under the weight of what you need to say next.

“Lewis,” you begin, your voice barely above a whisper. “About what we talked about. Before …”

He stops pacing, turning to look at you with a frown. “What?”

“A few weeks ago,” you clarify, taking a shaky breath. “You said when you won, you’d retire. That we’d start … building a life together.”

His jaw tightens, the muscle ticking as he stares at you.

“I know you didn’t win,” you continue hesitantly, “but does that really change anything? Can’t we still-”

“Don’t,” he says sharply, holding up a hand. His expression is hard now, a stark contrast to the vulnerability he showed earlier. “Don’t do this right now.”

“Why not?” You ask, frustration creeping into your tone. “Because it’s not convenient? Because it’s easier to bury yourself in racing than deal with what’s happening between us?”

“That’s not fair,” he snaps, his voice rising again.

“Isn’t it?” You challenge, taking a step closer. “You made me a promise. And now, what? You’re just going to pretend it didn’t happen because things didn’t go your way?”

He shakes his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. “You don’t get it. You’ve never understood. Racing isn’t just something I do — it’s who I am. Walking away now, without that eighth championship … I can’t. I won’t.”

Your chest tightens, and you feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “So what about me? What about us? Do we just stay on pause forever while you chase this thing that might never happen?”

His face twists with something you can’t quite place — anger, regret, maybe both. “This isn’t just about you,” he says, his voice dangerously low. “I’ve given everything to this sport. Everything. And I’m not quitting until I finish what I started.”

“So I’m just supposed to wait?” You ask, your voice cracking. “How long, Lewis? Another year? Two? Five? When is it going to be enough?”

“I don’t know!” He shouts, the words bursting out of him like a dam breaking. “I don’t know, alright?”

The room falls silent again, the weight of his outburst settling over both of you.

“I can’t do this,” he mutters after a moment, shaking his head. “Not right now.”

Before you can say another word, he grabs his jacket from the back of a chair and heads for the door.

“Lewis, wait,” you plead, your voice trembling. “Don’t walk away from this. From me.”

He pauses, his hand on the doorknob, but he doesn’t turn around. “I just need some air,” he says, his tone clipped.

And then he’s gone, the door slamming shut behind him with a finality that makes you flinch.

You stand there for a moment, frozen, staring at the door as if willing him to come back. But the only sound is the muffled celebration outside, a cruel reminder of everything that’s been lost tonight.

Finally, your legs give out, and you sink onto the edge of the bed, burying your face in your hands as the tears come. They’re hot and relentless, spilling down your cheeks as sobs wrack your body.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. None of it. You were supposed to be celebrating together, planning your future, looking ahead to the life you’d been dreaming of for so long.

But instead, it feels like everything is slipping through your fingers, and no matter how hard you try to hold on, it’s all crumbling around you.

You don’t know how long you sit there, crying into the silence, but when the tears finally stop, you’re left with an emptiness that feels even worse.

And for the first time in six years, you wonder if maybe Lewis Hamilton isn’t the man you thought he was. Or maybe he is, and that’s the problem.

***

One Year Later

The glass facade of the clinic looms above you, pristine and intimidating. Every time you glance at the sign — Centre de Fertilité de Monaco written in bold looping letters — your stomach churns. You’ve been standing outside for almost fifteen minutes, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, arms crossed tightly against the chill in the air.

The city is alive around you, luxury cars humming down the streets, the faint sound of waves crashing against the marina in the distance. But you feel like you’re in a bubble, trapped in your own swirling thoughts.

This is what you want. You’ve thought about it a hundred times, planned every detail, read every article, and filled out every form. And yet, your feet refuse to move.

“Just go inside,” you whisper to yourself, though the words feel hollow.

You take a step toward the door, but your hand falters just shy of the handle.

“Y/N?”

The voice is familiar, low and slightly accented, and it stops you in your tracks. You turn to see Max Verstappen standing a few feet away, a look of surprise etched across his face. He’s dressed casually in a hoodie and jeans, but there’s no mistaking him.

“Max,” you breathe, startled.

He takes a step closer, his brows knitting together. “What are you doing here?”

You glance at the clinic sign and then back at him, your heart hammering in your chest. “It’s, uh … personal.”

Max’s eyes narrow slightly, curiosity and concern mingling in his expression. “Personal enough that you’re standing outside looking like you’re about to throw up?”

Your face heats, and you instinctively wrap your arms around yourself, as if that could shield you from his gaze. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” He pauses, studying you. Then his eyes flicker to the sign again, and something seems to click. “Wait … are you-”

“Yes,” you blurt, cutting him off. There’s no point in pretending now. “I’m here to get artificially inseminated.”

Max blinks, clearly not expecting that answer. “Oh.”

You look away, embarrassed. “It’s not a big deal. Lots of women do it.”

“Without anyone here to support you?” He asks, his tone soft but pointed.

You shrug, your voice defensive. “It’s my decision.”

Max doesn’t respond right away, and when you finally look back at him, he’s frowning. “Why?”

The question catches you off guard. “Why what?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want a baby,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“And you can’t … I don’t know, meet someone?”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Right, because it’s that easy.”

Max shifts awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re serious about this?”

“Yes, Max,” you snap, your patience wearing thin. “I’ve been serious about this for a long time. Just because my relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean I should have to give up on what I want.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he says quietly, “So you and Lewis really broke up.”

You nod, swallowing hard. The mention of Lewis still feels like a punch to the gut, even after all this time. “Yeah. A while ago.”

Max hesitates, his hands shoved into his pockets. “And now you’re just … what? Picking a random donor from a catalog and hoping for the best?”

The words sting, and you glare at him. “It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” He presses, his voice still calm but insistent. “You deserve more than that. You deserve more than a child fathered by some random man you only know as lines of descriptions on paper.”

That’s the moment you break. The tears you’ve been holding back for weeks, maybe even months, come flooding out. You cover your face with your hands, trying to stifle the sobs, but it’s no use.

“Hey,” Max says quickly, stepping closer. “Hey, don’t-”

But you can’t stop. It’s all too much — Lewis, the clinic, the choices you’ve had to make on your own.

“I just want-” you choke out, but the words dissolve into another sob.

“Come here,” Max says softly, wrapping an arm around your back and gently tugging you closer. You collapse against him, your face buried in his shoulder as the tears keep coming.

He doesn’t say anything at first, just holds you, his hand moving in slow, soothing circles over your back. His hoodie smells faintly of cologne and something clean, like fresh laundry.

After a while, your sobs start to quiet, and you manage to pull back, wiping at your face. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed.

“Don’t be,” Max says, his voice low. He tilts his head, his blue eyes soft but serious. “You’re clearly not in the right state of mind to be making life-changing decisions.”

You open your mouth to argue, but he cuts you off.

“Look,” he says, “I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this. I’m saying maybe today isn’t the day. You’re upset. And I don’t think you should do something this big while you’re feeling like this.”

You hesitate, his words sinking in.

“My apartment is just around the corner,” he continues. “Why don’t we go there? We can talk, or not talk. Whatever you want. But at least give yourself a little time to think.”

You hesitate, glancing back at the clinic. The weight of the decision presses heavily on you, but so does the thought of going through with it now, like this.

“Okay,” you whisper finally.

Max nods, a small, reassuring smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Come on.”

He keeps his hand on your back as he guides you down the street, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you don’t feel entirely alone.

***

Max’s apartment is modern, sleek, and surprisingly warm. The large windows overlook the Monaco skyline, the twinkling lights of the city reflecting off the sea in the distance. You sit on the plush gray couch, clutching a mug of tea Max handed you just moments ago. The ceramic is warm in your hands, grounding you as the weight of everything presses down on your chest.

Max settles in the armchair across from you, his long legs stretched out, one elbow resting on the armrest as he watches you carefully. He hasn’t said much since you got here, and you’re grateful for it. But now, with the tea steeping between your fingers and his steady gaze on you, you feel the urge to fill the silence.

“I don’t even know where to start,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

Max shrugs lightly, a faint, reassuring smile tugging at his lips. “Start anywhere.”

You exhale shakily, staring into the dark liquid in your mug. “Lewis and I were together for six years. Six years of my life … and for a long time, I thought we wanted the same things.”

Max’s brows knit together, but he stays quiet, letting you continue.

“I thought we were building something together,” you say, your voice thick with emotion. “I wanted to get married. I wanted kids. He said he did, too. But there was always something in the way — another season, another championship, another goal. And I kept waiting because I believed in him, in us.”

Your voice cracks, and you take a sip of the tea, letting the warmth soothe your throat. Max leans forward slightly, his blue eyes fixed on you with an intensity that’s both comforting and unnerving.

“And then last year …” You pause, trying to steady your voice. “He promised me that if he won his eighth title, he’d retire. That we’d finally start the life we talked about. And I believed him. I really believed him.”

Max’s jaw tightens, his knuckles pressing against his chin as he listens.

“But he didn’t win,” you continue, the memory still fresh, still raw. “And instead of keeping his promise, he said he couldn’t walk away. Not without that eighth.”

“Unbelievable,” Max mutters under his breath, shaking his head.

You glance at him, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. “I thought maybe I could wait. Maybe I could put my dreams on hold for him a little longer. But it wasn’t just about the title — it was about him always choosing racing over me, over us.”

Max leans back in his chair, his expression unreadable. “So you broke up.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” you say, your voice trembling. “I couldn’t keep waiting for someone who would never choose me.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and unspoken. You’ve said them to yourself before, in the quiet of your bedroom, in the midst of sleepless nights, but saying them out loud now feels different. More final.

“And now you’re here,” Max says after a moment, gesturing faintly toward the direction of the clinic outside the windows.

You nod, tears pricking at your eyes again. “I still want a family. I’ve always wanted that. And after everything with Lewis, I realized I can’t keep putting my life on hold for someone else. If I want a baby, I have to make it happen myself.”

Max stares at you, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I get it,” he says finally. “I do. But … I don’t know. It just feels wrong. Like, you shouldn’t have to do this alone.”

“I don’t have a choice,” you say, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “Not everyone gets a happy ending. Some of us just have to make do with what we have.”

He shakes his head, leaning forward again. “That’s not what I mean. I mean someone like you shouldn’t have to settle for this. You’re smart, beautiful, caring. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Hell, if it were me-”

He stops abruptly, his face coloring slightly as if realizing what he’s about to say.

“If it were you, what?” You ask, your voice softer now, curious.

He exhales, running a hand through his hair. “If it were me, I wouldn’t have made you wait. I wouldn’t have let you go, period. I would’ve dropped everything the second I got out of the car in Abu Dhabi.”

His words hit you like a punch to the gut — not because they hurt, but because they’re so unexpected, so honest.

“You don’t mean that,” you say quietly, though your heart betrays you, fluttering in your chest.

Max’s gaze is unwavering. “I do. You deserve someone who sees you as their priority, not as something they’ll get to when it’s convenient. If I had someone like you …” He trails off, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t need anything else.”

The room falls silent, and you don’t know what to say. Your hands tighten around the mug, and you feel your cheeks flush under his intense stare.

“I’m sorry,” he says after a moment, leaning back. “That probably crossed a line.”

“No,” you say quickly, surprising even yourself. “It’s … nice to hear. I guess I just don’t believe it.”

“Why not?” He asks, his brows furrowing.

“Because if that were true, Lewis wouldn’t have left,” you admit, your voice breaking. “If I were really worth all that, he wouldn’t have walked away.”

Max shakes his head vehemently, leaning forward again. “That’s not on you. That’s on him. He couldn’t see what he had. That’s his loss, not yours.”

You blink back tears, his words cutting through the doubt and self-blame you’ve been carrying for so long.

“Look,” Max says softly, his voice gentle now. “You’re not alone in this, okay? I know it feels like it, but you’re not. And whatever you decide to do, just … don’t rush into it because you think you have to. You’ve got time, and you’ve got people who care about you.”

The sincerity in his voice almost breaks you all over again. You nod, unable to speak, and Max offers you a small, reassuring smile.

“Finish your tea,” he says, standing up and heading toward the kitchen. “I’ll grab us something stronger. Tea’s good for a talk, but this feels like a whiskey kind of conversation.”

You laugh softly, the sound surprising you. For the first time in a long time, the weight on your chest feels just a little bit lighter.

***

The first time you showed up at Max’s apartment unannounced, it was a particularly bad day. The ache in your chest had been unbearable, the quiet of your own place suffocating. You hadn’t even thought twice before texting him: You home?

His response came within seconds. Always. Door’s open.

You found him lounging on the couch, his two bengals sprawled out lazily beside him. When he saw you, he didn’t ask questions. He just stood, grabbed two Red Bulls from the fridge, and let you curl up on the floor to play with Jimmy and Sassy while he sat nearby, chatting about nothing in particular until the knot in your chest loosened.

It became a ritual after that. On the days when life felt too heavy, you’d make your way to Max’s. Sometimes you’d talk, sometimes you wouldn’t. But more often than not, you’d end up on the floor with the cats while Max watched with quiet amusement.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Jimmy pounces on the feather toy you’re dragging across the rug, his sleek body moving with a precision that reminds you of Max on the track. Sassy, the more aloof of the two, lounges nearby, watching her brother with disdain until she decides to join in.

You’re lying on your back now, laughing as the two cats leap over you, chasing the toy you’re holding above your head. It’s the first time you’ve laughed all day, maybe all week, and it feels good.

“Careful, Jimmy,” Max calls from the couch, his voice warm with affection. “She’s not a scratching post.”

You tilt your head to look at him, still holding the toy above you. He’s sitting sideways, one arm slung over the back of the couch, a faint smile playing on his lips.

“Jimmy would never hurt me,” you say, grinning as the cat lands lightly on your stomach before darting off again.

“Don’t let him fool you,” Max warns, shaking his head. “He’s a menace.”

“He’s perfect,” you counter, turning your attention back to the cats.

Max chuckles softly, but he doesn’t respond. You’re too distracted by Sassy’s sudden burst of energy to notice the way his gaze lingers on you, the way his smile fades into something softer, something deeper.

After a while, you sit up, your hair slightly disheveled and your cheeks flushed from laughing. Jimmy jumps into your lap, purring contentedly as you stroke his fur.

When you look up, Max is staring at you.

“What?” You ask, your brow furrowing.

He doesn’t answer right away. His eyes are warm, almost tender, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the room.

“Nothing,” he says finally, his voice quieter than usual. “You’re just … happy. I like seeing you like this.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you glance away, suddenly self-conscious. “It’s the cats,” you say lightly, trying to brush it off. “They’re good for my mental health.”

“It’s not just the cats,” Max says, and there’s something in his tone that makes you look at him again.

He’s leaning forward slightly now, his elbows resting on his knees, his gaze locked on yours. You feel your breath catch, the air in the room shifting, thickening.

“Max …” you start, but you don’t know how to finish the sentence.

“You don’t see it, do you?” He says softly, his voice almost reverent.

“See what?” You ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

“How incredible you are.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and unshakable. You stare at him, your heart pounding so loudly you’re sure he can hear it.

“Max, I …”

Before you can finish, he’s on the floor in front of you, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off him. He reaches out, his fingers brushing lightly against your cheek, and you don’t pull away.

“You’re amazing,” he says, his eyes searching yours. “You’re strong, and kind, and funny, and … God, Y/N, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

Your breath catches, and for a moment, you forget how to speak.

“Max,” you say finally, your voice trembling. “This … this is a bad idea.”

“Why?” He asks, his hand still resting against your cheek.

“Because I don’t want to ruin this,” you admit, your eyes filling with tears. “You’ve been my rock these past few months. I don’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t,” he says firmly. “I promise you, you won’t. But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”

You’re silent, your heart warring with your head. But when he leans in, his lips brushing softly against yours, all your doubts fade away.

The kiss is gentle at first, hesitant, as if he’s afraid you might pull away. But when you don’t, he deepens it, his hand sliding into your hair as he pours everything he’s been holding back into the kiss.

When you finally pull apart, you’re both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.

“Wow,” you whisper, your voice shaky.

Max chuckles softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “Yeah. Wow.”

You stare at him, your mind racing. This wasn’t what you expected when you came here tonight, but now that it’s happened, you can’t bring yourself to regret it.

“Max,” you say softly, your voice filled with uncertainty.

“It’s okay,” he says, cutting you off. “We’ll figure this out, whatever it is. I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. I promise.”

And to your surprise, despite the broken promises still shattered beneath your feet, you really do believe him.

***

The bedroom is bathed in the soft golden glow of the evening lights spilling through the windows. The Monaco skyline twinkles faintly in the distance, but you’re not paying attention to it. You’re wrapped up in Max’s arms, his warmth seeping into you as his fingers draw lazy patterns on your back.

You’re lying on your side, your head resting against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. His free hand brushes through your hair, the motion slow and soothing. Every so often, he leans down to press a kiss to the top of your head or your temple, murmuring something sweet against your skin.

“You’re quiet tonight,” he says, his voice low and gentle.

“I’m just … content,” you reply, tilting your head to look up at him. “This is nice.”

He smiles down at you, his blue eyes soft with affection. “Yeah, it is.”

His fingers trail up to your jaw, tilting your face up so he can kiss you. It’s slow and deliberate, the kind of kiss that makes your toes curl and sends warmth blooming in your chest.

When he pulls back, his lips linger near yours, his breath fanning against your skin. “You know, I could get used to this,” he says, a playful lilt in his voice.

“You mean you’re not used to it already?” You tease, nudging him lightly.

“I mean forever,” he says, and the sincerity in his tone makes your heart skip a beat.

You smile, your fingers idly tracing the lines of his collarbone. “Forever sounds nice.”

The silence that follows is comfortable, filled with the soft sounds of your breathing and the occasional distant hum of the city below.

After a moment, you glance up at him, your heart beating a little faster. “Max?”

“Hmm?” He hums, his fingers still trailing along your back.

“Have you ever thought about … kids?” You ask hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He stills for a moment, his hand pausing mid-motion before he shifts slightly to look down at you. “Kids?”

“Yeah,” you say, suddenly nervous. “Like, have you ever thought about having them?”

He doesn’t answer right away, his brows furrowing slightly as if considering your question. Then, to your surprise, he lets out a soft laugh.

“Honestly?” He says, his lips quirking into a small smile. “I’ve thought about it pretty much daily since I met you.”

Your eyes widen, and you push yourself up onto your elbow to look at him more closely. “Seriously?”

He chuckles, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t thinking about it before. But now? With you? I think about it all the time.”

“Max,” you whisper, your heart swelling at his words.

“I know it sounds crazy,” he continues, his hand sliding up to cup your cheek. “We haven’t been together that long, but … I don’t know. When you know, you know, right?”

You nod, unable to speak, your throat tight with emotion.

“And I know,” he says softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “You’re it for me, Y/N. There’s no one else. There’s never going to be anyone else.”

Tears sting at your eyes, and you laugh softly, leaning into his touch. “You’re really something, Max Verstappen.”

“I mean it,” he says, his voice steady and sure. “So … what do you think? Would you want to have a baby with me?”

You stare at him, your heart pounding in your chest. The question is so outlandish, so unexpected, and yet it feels right.

“You’re serious?” You ask, your voice trembling.

“Dead serious,” he says, a grin tugging at his lips. “You’re going to be an amazing mom. I can already see it.”

You laugh, covering your face with your hands as the weight of his words sinks in. “This is insane.”

“Maybe,” he says, pulling your hands away from your face. “But it feels right, doesn’t it?”

You look at him, at the way his eyes shine with hope and love, and you know he’s right.

“It does,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

He beams, his grin so wide it’s almost boyish. “So … is that a yes?”

You laugh, leaning down to kiss him. “Yes, Max. Let’s have a baby.”

He kisses you back, his arms wrapping around you as he pulls you closer. The kiss is different this time — deeper, more urgent, filled with the promise of what’s to come.

When you pull back, you’re both grinning like fools, your foreheads pressed together as you laugh softly.

“This is happening,” he says, his voice filled with awe.

“It is,” you reply, your heart swelling with joy.

“And just so you know,” he adds, his hands sliding down to rest on your hips. “I’m not leaving this bed until we make it happen.”

You laugh, swatting at his chest. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously in love with you,” he counters, flipping you onto your back as his lips find yours again.

The night stretches on for what feels like forever, filled with laughter, whispered promises, and the kind of love that feels like forever.

***

The moment you see the two pink lines on the test, your heart stops. For a second, you don’t breathe, don’t blink, don’t move. Then, a rush of emotions crashes over you all at once — joy, disbelief, terror, excitement. You sit on the edge of the tub in your bathroom, staring at the test in your shaking hands, trying to make sense of it.

“Max,” you whisper to yourself, and the thought of him steadies you.

He’s in the kitchen when you step out, his back to you as he busies himself with something at the stove. The faint smell of eggs and toast fills the air, but you can barely focus on it. Your hand tightens around the test in your pocket.

“Morning,” he says when he hears your footsteps, glancing over his shoulder with a soft smile. “Hungry? I made breakfast.”

You don’t answer, your feet rooted to the floor.

“Y/N?” He says, turning fully to face you now. “Everything okay?”

You nod, though you’re pretty sure you don’t look convincing. Your chest feels tight, and suddenly, you don’t know how to say the words.

“Hey,” he says softly, stepping closer. “What’s wrong?”

His hands find yours, grounding you in the way only he can. You take a deep breath and pull the test out of your pocket, holding it up between you.

Max stares at it for a moment, his eyes wide.

“Is that-”

“Yeah,” you say quickly, your voice trembling. “It’s positive.”

For a second, he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. Then, a slow, disbelieving grin spreads across his face.

“We’re having a baby?” He asks, his voice almost a whisper.

You nod, your own tears welling up as you watch his expression shift from shock to pure, unfiltered joy.

“We’re having a baby,” you repeat, the words finally sinking in.

Max lets out a breathless laugh, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground. “Oh my God, Y/N, we’re having a baby!”

You laugh through your tears, clinging to him as he spins you around. When he finally sets you down, his hands frame your face, his eyes searching yours.

“Are you okay? How do you feel? Do you need anything? Oh my God, we need to call the doctor, right? That’s what we do next?”

“Max,” you say, cutting him off with a laugh. “I’m okay. We’ll figure it all out.”

“Okay,” he says, nodding quickly. “Okay. But, wow … we’re having a baby.”

The way he says it, like he can’t quite believe it, makes your heart swell.

From that moment on, Max is all in.

***

Max surprises you at every turn. Where you once thought the worlds of racing and family couldn’t coexist, he proves you wrong with every thoughtful gesture, every sacrifice, every time he puts you first.

At first, you hesitate to bring it up. You know how important racing is to him, how much of his life has been dedicated to it. You don’t want to be a distraction, don’t want to pull him away from something he loves.

But Max is quick to shut down any of those thoughts.

“You and this baby come first,” he says one night, his hand resting gently on your still-flat stomach. “Always.”

You blink at him, your throat tight. “You don’t have to say that, Max. I know how much racing means to you.”

“And I know how much you mean to me,” he counters, his voice firm. “This doesn’t have to be one or the other. We’ll make it work. I promise.”

And he does.

***

You don’t feel ready to travel yet, and Max doesn’t push you. He understands when you tell him you’re not ready to face the paddock, to face him. It’s still too raw, too soon. Max doesn’t question it.

“It’s okay,” he says, kissing your forehead. “You don’t need to explain. You do what’s best for you. I’ll come to you.”

And he does.

Even in the middle of the season, when his schedule is packed and his commitments are endless, Max never misses a single appointment. He’s always there, whether it’s for the early check-ups or the first ultrasound.

“Can you believe that’s our baby?” He whispers during the first scan, his voice filled with awe as he watches the tiny flicker of the heartbeat on the monitor.

You can’t answer, your own emotions overwhelming you. Instead, you squeeze his hand, and he leans over to press a kiss to your temple.

***

The weeks pass, and soon it’s time for the big ultrasound — the one where you’ll finally learn the baby’s gender. Max is in São Paulo for the Brazilian Grand Prix, and you’ve convinced yourself he won’t make it back in time.

“It’s okay,” you tell him over the phone the night before. “You’ve got a race to focus on. I’ll record everything for you.”

“Y/N,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I’m not missing this.”

“But-”

“I’ll be there,” he promises. “Trust me.”

True to his word, Max walks into the clinic the next afternoon, still in his favorite set of sweats for traveling, his hair slightly disheveled from the flight.

“Max,” you say, standing up from your chair in the waiting room, your heart swelling at the sight of him. “You made it.”

“Of course I did,” he says, pulling you into his arms. “I told you I would.”

The ultrasound room is quiet, save for the soft hum of the machine and the occasional click of the technician’s keyboard. You’re lying on the examination table, Max sitting beside you, holding your hand tightly.

“Are you ready to find out?” The technician asks, her eyes crinkling with a warm smile.

You glance at Max, and he nods, his excitement barely contained.

“Let’s do it,” you say.

The technician moves the wand across your stomach, and a moment later, the screen lights up with the image of your baby.

“Congratulations,” she says, her smile widening. “It’s a girl.”

A girl.

Max lets out a laugh, his hand flying to cover his mouth as he stares at the screen. “A girl,” he repeats, his voice filled with wonder. “We’re having a girl.”

You laugh through your tears, your heart full to bursting. Max leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, your nose, your lips.

“Thank you,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

“For what?” You ask, your own voice shaky.

“For this. For her. For everything,” he says, his eyes shining as he looks at you.

You don’t have the words to respond, so you just squeeze his hand, your heart so full it feels like it might burst.

And in that moment, you realize: Max was right. Racing and family don’t have to be at odds. They can coexist, as long as you have someone who’s willing to make it work. And Max? He’s more than willing. He’s all in. Always.

***

It’s been a long start to the season, and the 2024 championship is already shaping up to be a nail-biter. The RB20 is much more unwieldy than its predecessor, the points gap narrowing with a DNF in Australia. The pressure is on, and you know it. Max knows it too.

But despite everything — the late nights, the media frenzy, the endless travel — he never wavers in his commitment to you and the baby. Even as the world watches him fight for the title, Max’s focus always returns home.

As your due date approaches, the Japan Grand Prix weekend looms closer on the calendar. Suzuka is pivotal, everyone says. The kind of race that could determine the championship. The team is counting on Max to deliver.

But Max doesn’t seem fazed by any of it when you bring it up one evening in bed, your hand resting on your swollen belly while his fingers gently trace circles over the skin.

“You know Suzuka’s right around the corner,” you say hesitantly, watching his expression.

“Hmm,” he hums, his eyes focused on your stomach, his lips quirking into a small smile when he feels a kick.

“Max.”

He glances up at you, his gaze softening. “What’s wrong?”

You hesitate, unsure how to phrase it. “I just … I know it’s an important race. And my due date is so close. What if-”

“I’m not going to Japan,” he says firmly, cutting you off before you can spiral.

You blink at him, startled. “What?”

“I’ve already told Christian and Helmut. They’re putting Liam in the car for the weekend.”

“Max,” you whisper, your heart swelling. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I did,” he says, his voice steady. “This is our daughter we’re talking about. There’s no way I’m missing her arrival, not for any race, not for anything.”

Tears sting at your eyes, and you blink them back quickly. “But the championship-”

“Doesn’t matter as much as this,” he interrupts again, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Y/N, I love racing, but you and our baby? You’re everything. You’re my world. If I have to miss a race, so be it.”

You stare at him, your throat tight, and you can’t stop the tears this time. “I love you,” you whisper, leaning in to kiss him.

His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “I love you too. More than anything.”

***

When the weekend of the Japanese Grand Prix arrives, you’re still pregnant, and Max is at your side, refusing to let you lift a finger.

The race plays out on the television in the background while Max spends most of the day doting on you. He rubs your feet, makes you tea, and checks on the hospital bag for the millionth time, making sure everything is in order.

“Max, sit down,” you say, laughing softly as you watch him double-check the contents of the bag again.

“I just want to make sure we’re ready,” he says, zipping it up and placing it neatly by the door.

“We’re ready,” you assure him, patting the space next to you on the couch.

He finally sits, pulling you close and resting his hand on your belly. “You’re sure she’s not coming today?”

“She’s not on your schedule, Verstappen,” you tease, and he laughs, leaning in to kiss your temple.

***

But she does come.

Two days later, in the early hours of the morning, the first contraction wakes you. At first, you’re too groggy to register what’s happening, but when the second one hits, you gasp, clutching at the sheets.

“Max,” you manage to get out, shaking his shoulder.

He bolts upright, his eyes wide and alert. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I think … I think it’s time,” you say, your voice trembling.

Max is on his feet in an instant, grabbing the hospital bag and helping you out of bed with remarkable calmness for someone who was sound asleep just seconds ago.

“You okay?” He asks, his arm around your waist as he guides you to the car.

You nod, though your breaths are shallow. “Yeah. Just … hurry.”

***

The hours in the delivery room pass in a blur of pain and anticipation. Max never leaves your side, his hand gripping yours tightly through every contraction, his voice steady and reassuring as he encourages you.

“You’re amazing,” he says, brushing the hair from your sweaty forehead. “You’ve got this. Just a little more, liefje. You’re so strong.”

When the moment finally comes, and the sound of your daughter’s first cries fills the room, both of you dissolve into tears.

“She’s here,” Max whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “She’s really here.”

The nurse places the tiny, wriggling bundle in your arms, and you look down at her, overwhelmed by a love so powerful it takes your breath away. Max leans over your shoulder, his face close to hers, his tears falling freely now.

“She’s perfect,” he says, his voice breaking.

You glance up at him, your heart swelling as you see the pure adoration on his face. “She looks like you.”

“She looks like us,” he corrects, his fingers gently tracing the curve of her cheek.

***

When the nurse takes her to be weighed and cleaned up, Max stands frozen for a moment, watching her with wide eyes. Then, when they bring her back, he hesitates.

“You want to hold her?” You ask, smiling through your exhaustion.

He looks at you like you’ve just handed him the most precious thing in the world. “Can I?”

“Of course,” you say, carefully passing her to him.

Max cradles her in his arms, his movements slow and deliberate, his eyes never leaving her face. He looks utterly awestruck, his tears still streaming down his cheeks as he rocks her gently.

“Hi, little one,” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “I’m your papa. And I already love you more than anything.”

Your heart clenches as you watch him, the way he holds her like she’s the most fragile, most important thing in the world.

“You okay?” You ask softly, reaching out to touch his arm.

He nods, but when he looks at you, his expression is serious. “Y/N,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “If you or she ever said the word, I’d stop. I’d walk away from racing tomorrow and never look back.”

“Max-”

“I mean it,” he says, cutting you off gently. “I don’t need any of it. All I need is right here.”

Tears spill down your cheeks as you reach for his hand, your fingers lacing through his. “You don’t have to stop, Max. I don’t want you to. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” he says, his gaze dropping back to your daughter. “You and her — you’re everything.”

The three of you stay like that for a long time, wrapped up in each other and the overwhelming love that fills the room.

And as you watch Max rock your daughter, his eyes shining with tears and joy, you realize that this is it — this is the life you always dreamed of.

***

The Australian Grand Prix marks the beginning of the 2025 season, and the paddock is alive with its usual chaos: reporters shouting questions, cameras flashing, and engineers rushing to and from garages. But for you, it feels like an entirely different world as you step onto the paddock with your daughter perched on your hip.

She’s bundled in a tiny Red Bull jacket Max had custom-made, her baby blue eyes wide as she takes in the flurry of activity around her. She giggles as a gust of wind tousles her fine blonde curls, and you can’t help but smile, brushing them back into place.

“Are you sure about this?” You ask Max, who stands beside you, his hand resting lightly on your lower back.

He glances at you, his expression soft but resolute. “You’re my family. I want everyone to know.”

Your chest tightens, equal parts touched and nervous. “It’s just … people are going to talk.”

“Let them,” Max says simply, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. Then he shifts his attention to your daughter, gently tickling her chin. “Aren’t they, prinsesje? Let them say what they want.”

Her delighted squeal pulls a laugh from him, and for a moment, your nerves melt away.

But the attention is immediate. As soon as you cross into the paddock, a ripple of recognition sweeps through the crowd. Photographers pause, their lenses snapping up. Team personnel do double takes. Whispers spread like wildfire.

You’re prepared for it — at least, as much as you can be. What you’re not prepared for is running into Lewis.

You spot him before he sees you, standing just outside the Ferrari hospitality area in conversation with Fred Vasseur. Your stomach twists as you consider turning around, but before you can move, Lewis glances up.

He freezes.

His gaze locks on you, then drops to the baby in your arms, and his expression shifts from shock to something darker. He mutters something to Fred and strides toward you, his movements purposeful and tense.

“Y/N,” he says, stopping a few feet away. His eyes flicker to Max, who hasn’t left your side, and then back to you. “What … what’s this?”

You take a steadying breath. “Hello, Lewis.”

He ignores the pleasantries, his attention fixed on the child in your arms. “Is that your-” He stops, his jaw tightening. “Is that his?”

Max steps forward slightly, his hand now firm on your back. “Yes,” he says evenly, his voice calm but unyielding. “She is ours.”

Lewis’s eyes narrow, his gaze darting between you and Max. “How long has this been going on?”

“Lewis, I don’t think-”

“How long?” He snaps, his tone sharper now.

You glance at Max, who gives you a reassuring nod. Turning back to Lewis, you say, “A little over two and a half years.”

Lewis exhales sharply, shaking his head as if trying to process the information. “Two and a half years. So, what? You moved on that fast?”

“Don’t do that,” you say quietly, your grip tightening on your daughter. “It wasn’t fast. You know that.”

“Do I?” His voice is bitter, his expression unreadable. “Because from where I’m standing, it sure looks like you didn’t waste any time replacing me.”

Max stiffens beside you, but you place a hand on his arm, silently urging him to let you handle it.

“I didn’t replace you,” you say, your voice trembling despite your best efforts. “I moved on. There’s a difference.”

His gaze softens for a moment, flickering with something like hurt. But then he looks at Max again, and the hardness returns. “With him?”

“Yes,” you say firmly, your chin lifting.

Lewis laughs bitterly, running a hand over his face. “Unbelievable.”

“Lewis,” Max interjects, his tone measured but with an edge of steel. “This isn’t about you. It’s about her. And our daughter.”

“Your daughter,” Lewis repeats, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Right. And you think this is going to work? Bringing her into this circus?”

Max’s jaw tightens, but he stays calm. “It’s already working. She’s happy. We’re happy.”

Lewis scoffs, his eyes narrowing. “You think this is happiness? Dragging a baby into this environment? Do you even understand what kind of life you’re giving her?”

You step forward before Max can respond, your voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill. “Don’t you dare judge me. You don’t get to do that. Not after everything.”

Lewis falters, his anger giving way to a flicker of guilt. “I’m not trying to-”

“Yes, you are,” you interrupt. “I get it, okay? You’re hurt. But you don’t get to stand there and act like you know what’s best for me or my family. Not anymore.”

There’s a long, tense silence. Finally, Lewis looks away, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I just … I didn’t think it would end like this,” he mutters.

Neither did you. But you don’t say it. Instead, you adjust your daughter in your arms, her tiny fingers clutching at your jacket, grounding you.

“It’s not about how it ended,” you say softly. “It’s about how we move forward.”

Lewis looks at you, and for a moment, you see the man you loved — the man who promised you a future he could never give. His eyes drop to your daughter, and his expression shifts, softening in a way that makes your heart ache.

“She’s beautiful,” he says quietly, almost reluctantly.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

Max steps closer, his hand finding yours and squeezing gently. “We should go,” he says, his voice low but kind.

You nod, giving Lewis one last look before turning away.

***

In the Red Bull motorhome, you sink into a chair, your emotions crashing over you. Max kneels in front of you, his hands resting on your knees as he studies your face.

“You okay?” He asks, his voice gentle.

You nod, though tears blur your vision. “It’s just … hard. Seeing him. The way he looked at me.”

Max leans forward, pressing his forehead to yours. “You don’t owe him anything. Not your guilt, not your sadness. Nothing. You’re here with me now, with our daughter. That’s all that matters.”

His words soothe you, and you reach up to cup his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek. “I love you,” you whisper.

“I love you too,” he says, his voice unwavering. Then he glances at your daughter, who’s dozing peacefully in her stroller. “And I love her more than anything.”

You smile through your tears, your heart swelling with gratitude and love. No matter what challenges lie ahead, you know you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

***

Nine Months Later

The final race of the 2025 season is a sea of chaos and celebration. The Yas Marina Circuit glows under the floodlights, the air electric with cheers as Max steps onto the top of the podium for the fifth time in his career. Champagne sprays from the bottles, glistening under the lights, but Max barely seems to notice.

His eyes search through the crowd, scanning the blur of faces until they land on you. There you are, cradling your daughter in your arms, her little Red Bull ear protectors sitting snugly over her head. She’s clapping her hands in that uncoordinated, infant-like way that makes his chest ache with love. And you — God, you. Your smile is soft but radiant, tears glinting in your eyes as you look up at him.

Max feels his heart tighten, his grip on the champagne bottle slackening. He’s been chasing dreams for as long as he can remember — titles, wins, perfection on the track. But now, looking at you and the life you’ve built together, he knows none of it compares to what he has waiting for him off the podium.

He knows what he has to do.

As the podium ceremony winds down, Max fumbles at the inside pocket of his race suit. His fingers brush over the small velvet box he’s carried with him for weeks, waiting for the right moment. This is it. There’s no better time.

Lando Norris, standing to Max’s right after clinching second place, notices his movement and raises a brow. “What are you up to?”

Max doesn’t answer, too focused on what’s coming next. His fingers close around the box, and his pulse quickens.

He steps forward, champagne still dripping from his suit, and motions to the crowd below. “Can we … can someone help her up here?” He calls, his voice cracking slightly with emotion.

You blink, confused, as several Red Bull mechanics glance at each other before moving to you. One of them gestures toward the podium. “Come on,” he says, grinning. “You’re part of this moment.”

“What? No, I-” you stammer, clutching your daughter closer. “I’m fine here-”

“Y/N,” Max says from above, his voice carrying across the noise. His tone is warm but insistent. “Please. Come up.”

Your heart races as you glance around, overwhelmed by the attention, but the mechanics are already helping guide you to the platform. Before you know it, you’re being hoisted onto the podium, your feet landing on the cool metal as you steady yourself.

Max steps toward you, his eyes locked on yours. His gaze is tender, but there’s a flicker of nerves there, too. The crowd’s roar dulls in your ears as he takes a deep breath, his focus entirely on you.

“Y/N,” he begins, his voice trembling slightly. He drops to one knee, the champagne bottle rolling away unnoticed. In his hand is the small velvet box, now open to reveal a sparkling diamond ring.

The crowd erupts.

Your breath catches.

“Y/N,” Max says again, louder this time, his blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I once thought winning a championship would be the best moment of my life. But then I saw you. Holding our daughter, looking at me like that, and I realized the best thing I’ve ever done has nothing to do with racing. It’s us. It’s you. It’s her.”

Tears blur your vision, your hand covering your mouth as you stare down at him.

“I love you,” he continues, his voice cracking. “I love you more than anything in this world. You’ve given me everything I never knew I needed. You’re my family, Y/N, and I don’t want to wait another second to make it official.”

He swallows hard, his hands shaking as he holds the ring toward you. “Will you marry me?”

For a moment, everything seems to stop. The crowd, the cameras, the other drivers — it all fades away. All you can see is Max, his face open and vulnerable in a way you’ve rarely seen. The man who’s always so composed under pressure, the fierce competitor, is looking at you with nothing but love and hope.

“Yes,” you whisper, your voice breaking. Then, louder. “Yes, Max. Yes!”

The crowd explodes into cheers as Max lets out a breathless laugh, his face lighting up in relief and joy. He stands quickly, wrapping one arm around your waist while slipping the ring onto your finger with the other. It fits perfectly.

Before you can say anything else, Max cups your face and kisses you, his lips warm and urgent against yours. The kiss is met with an even louder roar from the crowd, but all you can focus on is him — the way his hands tremble slightly, the way he pulls you closer as if afraid to let go.

Your daughter giggles in your arms, and Max pulls back just enough to glance down at her. He grins, brushing a thumb over her cheek. “What do you think, prinsesje? Did Papa do okay?”

She babbles something incomprehensible, and the three of you laugh.

***

Later, in the quiet of his driver’s room, the chaos of the podium ceremony behind you, Max pulls you into his lap as you sit together on the small sofa. Your daughter sleeps soundly in her stroller nearby, her tiny chest rising and falling in rhythm.

Max toys with the ring on your finger, his expression thoughtful. “You know,” he says, his voice soft, “I’ve won a lot of things in my life. But this … this is my greatest victory.”

You smile, resting your forehead against his. “You’re pretty good at making me cry today, Verstappen.”

He chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth. “Get used to it. I plan on spending the rest of my life making you cry happy tears.”

You hum, leaning into his touch. “Good. Because I plan on spending the rest of my life loving you.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead, his arms tightening around you. “Deal.”

And in that moment, with Max holding you close and your daughter sleeping nearby, you realize that this — this is your podium. Your victory. Your forever.

***

The night is impossibly quiet for Abu Dhabi, the hum of the city dulled by the floor-to-ceiling windows of the penthouse suite. The celebrations are over, the crowds dispersed, and now it’s just the three of you. Your daughter sleeps soundly in her cot near the foot of the bed, her tiny face relaxed in peaceful dreams.

You’re wrapped up in Max’s arms, the weight of the day finally catching up with both of you. His chest is warm against your back, his heartbeat steady as his fingers lazily trace patterns on your arm. The ring on your finger catches the faint glow of the bedside lamp, a small, perfect reminder of the life-changing moment you shared hours ago.

“You’re quiet,” you murmur, shifting slightly to glance up at him.

Max’s gaze is soft, his blue eyes fixed on you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters. “Just thinking,” he says, his voice low and a little hoarse from the day’s shouting and champagne sprays.

“About?”

He pauses, his fingers stilling on your skin. You can feel the hesitation in him, the way his body tenses ever so slightly. It’s not like Max to be unsure — he’s always been decisive, charging into life with the same fearless determination he has on the track.

“Max?” You press gently, turning fully to face him now. “What’s on your mind?”

He exhales a long breath, running a hand through his messy hair. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” he starts, his accent curling warmly around the words. “But after today … I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?”

His hand moves to yours, thumb brushing over the ring he gave you just hours earlier. He stares at it for a moment before meeting your gaze, his eyes clear and steady.

“I’m going to retire,” he says softly.

The words hit you like a jolt. For a second, you’re sure you misheard him. “Retire?” You repeat, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nods, his expression unwavering. “Yeah. I’m done.”

“Max,” you say, your brow furrowing. “You just won your fifth title. You’re at the peak of your career. Why would you …”

He shifts slightly, sitting up so he can look at you more directly. “Because I don’t need it anymore,” he says simply. “I’ve achieved everything I ever wanted in racing. More than I ever thought I could. But now …” He pauses, his gaze flicking briefly to the cot where your daughter sleeps. “Now I have something I want more.”

Your chest tightens, emotions swirling in a chaotic mess you can’t quite untangle. “Are you sure? I mean, Max, this is huge. Racing has been your entire life.”

“I know,” he says, his voice calm but firm. “And I’ll always love it. But I don’t want to spend the next ten or fifteen years chasing something I don’t need, not when it means missing out on moments with you. With her.” He nods toward your daughter, his face softening.

You sit there in stunned silence, trying to process what he’s saying. “But what about the team? And your fans? You love the thrill of it, the competition-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off gently, reaching for your hand again. “I love you more. I love our family more. And I don’t want to be the kind of dad who’s always gone, always distracted. I’ve seen what that does. I don’t want that for her.”

His words hit you square in the chest, a wave of emotion crashing over you. Tears prick at your eyes as you search his face, looking for any sign of doubt or hesitation. But all you see is love and certainty.

“You’re really serious about this,” you say softly, your voice trembling.

He nods. “I’ve thought about it for months. After last season, I told myself I’d give it one more year. One more title. And then I’d walk away. Today, seeing you and her in the crowd, knowing everything we’ve built together … it made me realize I’m ready.”

You reach up to cup his face, your thumb brushing over the stubble on his jaw. “Max … I don’t even know what to say.”

“Say you’re okay with it,” he says, a small, teasing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Say you’ll let me stay home and annoy you every day.”

A laugh escapes you, watery but real. “I think I can handle that.”

He leans forward, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Good. Because this is what I want, Y/N. You, her, our life together. That’s enough for me. More than enough.”

For a while, you just sit there in the quiet, wrapped up in each other. Your mind is still racing, but your heart feels full, overflowing with love for the man beside you.

“So,” you say after a moment, your voice lighter, “what’s the plan? Are you going to call Christian in the middle of the night and drop this bombshell on him?”

Max chuckles, the sound vibrating against your skin. “I’ll give him a day or two to recover from the title celebrations first. Then I’ll tell him.”

“And how do you think he’s going to take it?”

“Oh, he’ll try to talk me out of it,” Max says, rolling his eyes. “He’ll tell me I’m too young, that I’ve got years left in me, that I can win even more. But I’ve already made up my mind.”

You smile, resting your head against his chest. “He’s going to miss you. They all will.”

“I’ll miss them too,” he admits. “But this isn’t goodbye forever. I’ll still be around — just not on the grid.”

“And me?” You ask, your voice teasing. “What if I’m not ready to have you home all the time?”

Max grins, his hand sliding around your waist to pull you closer. “Too late. You’re stuck with me now.”

As the night stretches on, the weight of the day starts to fade, replaced by a quiet sense of peace. Max lies back against the pillows, pulling you with him until you’re nestled against his side.

“You know,” he murmurs, his voice drowsy but warm, “I used to think racing was everything. That I’d be lost without it.”

“And now?” You ask, your fingers tracing lazy circles on his chest.

“Now I know it was just a part of me. A big part, yeah, but not the most important one. Not anymore.” He pauses, his hand brushing over your hair. “You and her … you’re my everything now.”

Tears sting your eyes again, but this time they’re tears of joy. “Max,” you whisper, your voice catching. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he says, his words a soft promise against your skin.

And as you drift off to sleep, wrapped in his arms, you know that no matter what the future holds, you’ll face it together.

***

The room buzzes with an electric energy, the kind that only the FIA Prize Giving Ceremony can create. It’s a night to honor champions, to toast to a season of victories, and to revel in the highs of motorsport. The crowd is a mix of drivers, team principals, engineers, and journalists, all dressed to the nines. You’re seated in the front row, a place reserved for the most important people in the room.

Max is on stage, holding his freshly polished World Championship trophy, the applause still roaring from the moment his name was called. His tuxedo fits him like a glove, and there’s a boyish grin on his face that makes him look impossibly proud — and a little nervous.

In your lap, your daughter wiggles, her tiny hands clutching at the hem of your sparkling gown. She’s too young to understand what’s happening, but the excitement of the room has her wide-eyed and curious. You adjust her slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as you watch Max step up to the microphone.

“Wow,” Max begins, his voice carrying over the hushed murmurs of the crowd. “What a year. What a … career.”

There’s a ripple of surprise at his choice of words. You feel it too, a sharp intake of breath as he pauses. He hasn’t told anyone outside of your family and a select few about his decision yet, and it hits you that this is the moment.

“I want to start by saying thank you,” Max continues, his accent thick with emotion. “To everyone who made this season possible. To my team at Red Bull — Christian, Helmut, GP, the engineers, the mechanics — every single person who has been part of this journey. We did this together. Five championships in the last five years … it still feels surreal.”

The room breaks into another round of applause, but Max raises a hand to quiet them.

“But tonight isn’t just about this trophy or this season,” he says, his voice steady despite the emotion creeping into it. “It’s about something bigger. About knowing when it’s time to close one chapter and start another.”

Your heart races, and you tighten your hold on your daughter as Max’s words hang in the air.

“When I was a kid, all I ever wanted was to race,” Max says, his gaze sweeping over the crowd. “I grew up at circuits, watching my dad, dreaming of being in Formula 1. And for the last decade, this sport has been my whole life. It’s given me everything. It’s taught me more than I ever imagined — about hard work, about resilience, about pushing beyond what you think is possible.”

He pauses, his eyes flicking down to where you’re sitting. The faintest smile plays on his lips as your gazes meet, and you see the love and certainty there.

“But these past two years,” he continues, his voice softening, “I learned something else. That as much as I love this sport, there’s something I love more. Someone I love more.”

The murmurs in the crowd grow louder, heads turning to you. You feel your cheeks flush, but you keep your focus on Max, your heart pounding.

“Last season, I became a father,” Max says, his tone warming with pride. “And it changed everything. It changed the way I see the world, the way I see myself, and the way I think about my future. I realized that as much as I love racing, I don’t want to miss the little moments … the things that really matter.”

The room falls completely silent, everyone hanging on his every word.

“So,” Max says, his voice unwavering now, “tonight, as I accept this trophy, I also want to announce that this was my last season in Formula 1.”

Gasps ripple through the crowd, followed by stunned silence. Your daughter squirms in your arms, oblivious to the magnitude of what’s just been said.

Max smiles faintly, taking in the shocked faces in the room. “I know it might seem sudden,” he says, “but this is something I’ve thought about for a long time. I’ve achieved everything I could have dreamed of in this sport. I’ve worked with the best team in the world, competed against the best drivers in the world, and I leave with no regrets. But now, it’s time for me to focus on the next chapter of my life. On my family.”

He glances down at you again, and this time his gaze lingers. “Y/N, you and our daughter … you’re my everything. You’ve given me a reason to look beyond the racetrack, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.”

Your vision blurs with tears, and you can’t help but smile up at him. The crowd erupts into applause, some people rising to their feet in admiration and respect.

After a moment, Max raises a hand again, signaling for quiet. “I want to thank the fans,” he says, his voice growing steadier. “You’ve been with me through every win, every loss, every crazy overtake and late-breaking move. You’ve pushed me to be better every single day. And while I won’t be on the grid next season, I’ll always be part of this sport. It’s in my blood, and it always will be.”

The applause grows even louder this time, the room filling with a wave of emotion and admiration. You clap along, your daughter bouncing slightly in your arms at the sound.

When Max steps down from the stage, he comes straight to you. The cameras follow his every move, the flashes almost blinding as he crouches in front of you.

“You okay?” He asks, his voice low enough that only you can hear.

You nod, your throat too tight with emotion to speak.

He reaches for your daughter, lifting her into his arms with ease. She giggles, grabbing at the shiny lapel of his tuxedo, and Max laughs softly, the sound breaking through the tension in the room.

“We did it,” he says, his eyes locking with yours.

You lean forward, pressing your forehead against his. “We did,” you whisper back.

***

The rest of the night is a blur of congratulations, handshakes, and emotional farewells. But through it all, Max stays by your side, his arm around your waist or his hand in yours.

As the event winds down, you find yourselves back in the car, your daughter sleeping peacefully in her car seat. The city lights blur past the windows, and Max leans back against the seat, exhaling deeply.

“That went better than I thought,” he says, his voice tinged with relief.

“You were incredible,” you tell him, resting your head on his shoulder.

He glances down at you, his expression soft. “Are you happy?”

You smile, lacing your fingers with his. “More than I ever thought I could be.”

And as the car carries you through the quiet streets, you realize that this is just the beginning of a new adventure — the one Max always knew was waiting for him.

***

Two Years Later

Lewis doesn’t plan to be on this street. He’s never liked taking the busy Monaco thoroughfares, even after all these years of calling the principality home. But a morning run had turned into aimless wandering, and now he’s here, jogging along the promenade, music blasting in his ears, trying to clear his head.

The past two years since Max retired have been strange. No fierce wheel-to-wheel battles with Verstappen, no reminders on the track of the rivalry that defined his career for so long. And yet, Max still lingers in his thoughts — like an echo, a shadow, a specter. Every headline about the Verstappens pops up in his feed: Max is spotted at home with his family. Max is thriving in retirement.

But it’s not Max that Lewis thinks about most. It’s you. It’s always been you.

Lewis slows his pace as he nears the bakery that used to be your favorite. He has no idea if you still come here, or if Monaco even feels like home to you anymore. He shakes his head, chastising himself for thinking like this. You’re gone. You’ve been gone.

But then, he hears it. A child’s voice, high-pitched and sweet, chattering happily. He instinctively looks over, and his feet stop moving altogether.

There you are.

You’re walking hand-in-hand with Max. Max, who looks completely at peace, a little older but no less recognizable. Beside him, a little girl. She’s animated as she talks to him, her tiny hand curled securely around his. And then, there’s the stroller. A navy blue, high-tech design Lewis recognizes from catalogs. Inside is a baby boy, fast asleep, his chubby face serene as he snoozes against the soft fabric.

Lewis feels the air leave his lungs.

You don’t see him. You’re busy talking to Max, laughing at something he says. You’re dressed casually, a flowy sundress swaying around your knees, sunglasses perched on your nose. Your free hand rests on the stroller handle, the gesture almost instinctive. The sight of you like this — effortless, happy, and surrounded by a family — sends a sharp pang through Lewis’ chest.

It’s everything he could’ve had. Everything he pushed away.

His feet are rooted to the spot. He should turn around, jog in the other direction, forget he ever saw you. But he can’t. He watches, transfixed, as your daughter stops mid-sentence to look up at you. “Mama,” she says brightly, tugging Max’s hand. “Can I have a croissant?”

Max chuckles. “You already had one,” he tells her, his voice gentle.

“But they’re so good!” She says, throwing her head back dramatically.

Lewis can’t stop staring. The little girl is Max’s spitting image, but there’s something about her smile, the way her nose scrunches, that reminds him of you.

And then, she notices him.

Your daughter’s bright eyes land on Lewis, and she grins like she’s just seen a new friend. “Hello!” She says, waving enthusiastically with her free hand.

You glance up, confused at first, following her gaze. Lewis freezes.

But it’s not him you’re looking at. It’s a man unloading bags from his car in front of him, and you nod politely before turning back to Max and your daughter.

Lewis exhales shakily, a mix of relief and a pang of disappointment. He steps back, half-hidden by the awning of a nearby café, watching as you and Max resume walking.

The little girl waves once more, still beaming, before Max gently nudges her along. “Come on, prinsesje,” he says. “Let’s not keep your brother waiting for his nap to be over.”

Lewis stays there, unmoving, as you all walk away. He watches the way Max leans toward you, saying something that makes you laugh again. He watches the way your daughter skips a little ahead, still clutching Max’s hand, her voice bubbling with excitement as she points to a pigeon fluttering by. And he watches you look down at the stroller, adjusting the blanket over the baby boy who sleeps so peacefully, oblivious to everything around him.

It’s a picture-perfect scene. A life filled with love and joy, one that Lewis now realizes — painfully, completely — he could have been part of.

The memories flood in uninvited.

The nights spent on this same Monaco promenade with you, your hand slipping into his as you admired the lights reflecting off the water. The quiet mornings when you’d sit at the kitchen counter, sipping coffee and talking about what life might look like after racing. The promises he made and didn’t keep.

He thinks about the last time he saw you, about the anger and hurt in your eyes, about the way he walked out that night because he couldn’t bring himself to say the words you needed to hear. And now, here you are — walking down this same street with someone who isn’t afraid to put you first.

Lewis sinks onto a nearby bench, running a hand over his face. His chest feels tight, his breathing shallow. He thinks he’s moved on, that he’s made peace with the choices he’s made. But seeing you, seeing your family — it’s a wound he didn’t even realize was still open.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, staring at the spot where you disappeared from view. Minutes? Hours? Long enough for his playlist to loop back to the beginning.

A group of tourists wanders past, laughing and snapping photos of the marina. Lewis doesn’t look up. He stays on the bench, shoulders slumped, the weight of what he’s lost pressing down on him.

By the time he makes it back to his apartment, the sun is setting over Monaco, casting the city in hues of orange and gold. He heads straight for the balcony, leaning heavily on the railing as he stares out at the water.

It should be a beautiful view, but tonight it feels empty.

For years, racing has been his everything. It’s been his escape, his purpose, his identity. But now, for the first time, he wonders if it was worth it.

Because no trophy, no title, no amount of glory could fill the space you once inhabited.

And for the first time, Lewis feels like the one who’s been left behind.

[the-cats-noodles]

Everytime I see this, everytime, someone brings up marriage as an exception and I can't help but think, really?

I get it, promises are important (to death do us part, which is in and of itself an unrealistic standard but whatever i dont have time to talk abt that) but I feel like people forget that marriage for love is relatively recent? The point of marriage being to join households and pass on property is much older (and the origin of the whole "only death can make us separate" bc property and inheritance) like, the reason people stayed together was bc of duty not love and that was a very different environment than the one now (which is good) but it still means we're talking about a standard that is unrealistic in our current environment (not to mention the insane amount of murder over not being able to get divorced in the past, like it's a very good thing we can end marriages now)

There's nothing wrong with marrying someone and wanting to stay with them forever (we chose to do this for love and that was good actually), but can we stop pretending this idea is universal?

Making a promise is all well and good, but people change and their promises do too.

Like, yes you keep growing as you get older and yes you might grow closer with your partner (and that's perfectly normal and okay) BUT you might also grow apart and that is ALSO PERFECTLY OKAY

Saying that marriage is something to exclude from the idea of decentering permanence is kinda ignoring all the people who really shouldn't be staying together but "have" to (for the kids, reputation, etc) and anybody involved definitely feels that dynamic shift...

Just, yeah "keep your promises" but also know that breaking them is a part of life and its much better for both parties if you break a promise instead of wither away trying to uphold it for some perceived sense of duty or obligation to people whose opinions literally DO NOT matter

(If you wanna be with one person forever? great! If they don't agree bc they don't love you anymore? Oh well, tough luck, I guarantee you'll be better off letting them go then forcing them to stay in a legal contract, which is what marriage becomes when you don't feel love for the other party anymore)

Also I get most people don't want to force someone to stay in a situation that makes them miserable, at least I really hope they don't, but when (as a society) we place more importance on the whole 'till death do us part' bit and less on the 'I love you and want to show it' (or even say the only way to show it is to hold onto that person forever) then it kinda forces people into this idea of "having" to stay

And look, counseling is great, it can work wonders, but it is NOT a miracle worker. It can't fix everything and it doesn't have to bc A LOT of marriages aren't broken they're just fizzling out

Am I making any sense? Who knows, but I was raised in a community where ending a marriage or relationship was worse than cheating bc "marriages are work"

They are, but you also retire from work when it becomes a strain and you can't do it anymore. You can quit a job if it doesn't fit. I'm not saying marriage is a job, but I am saying that if we expect marriage to involve work we can expect it to reach the point where people just DONT WANT TO DO THAT ANYMORE and that's okay

I'm begging: please stop insisting marriage is different from other relationships in this regard bc it isn't. It's sweet and a wonderful experience but it's still just a love between two people and we can't expect that to be magically enough to stop the natural progression all relationships go through.

You lose friends over time but some stay around. You lose family over time (like, no contact in this case not necessarily through death) but some stay around. You lose lovers and partners over time but some stay around. And that's okay, u just don't see how the last one is somehow expected to have more weight.

(Which I believe was op's point? That they're all temporary and that's a good thing actually)

Like everything is temporary, it's just sometimes that temporary lines up with our lives bc we ourselves are temporary beings, and it's okay if it does and it's okay if it doesn't.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[bunnis-monsters]

YANDERE FLUFF

A/N: another kofi comm

In the cold, snowy mountains where no regular mortal could reach, you were currently curled up by the fireplace with your nose buried in a good book.

Normally, being so deep in these mountains would mean you were either lost or close to death. For you, though?

“My love!”

Your eye twitched as the door to your room swung open, arms wrapping around your soft frame before you could react.

“I missed you so much, I’m back so don’t worry! You won’t be lonely anymore!”

Kisses were left along your neck, a pair of fangs brushing against your sensitive skin.

“Not now, I’m still recovering after your last feeding.”

The man huffed, but retracted his fangs and nuzzled against your neck instead.

The only reason you were able to survive in such a hazardous and brutal environment was because the person that had brought you there was a creature of the night.

“I am a vampire, you know. It’s not like I want to hurt you, my darling, but I need sustenance like any other living being.”

Technically, he wasn’t alive. He moved, walked, and could talk, but his heart no longer beats and his name was on a gravestone in the courtyard.

Adrian had never been lucky. Although born into royalty, he was the son of the king’s mistress and had been persecuted by his siblings who all wanted the throne. To them, he was no sibling. All Adrian could ever be was a rival.

To thin out the pool of potential rivals, he was poisoned and tossed into the slums outside of the kingdom. Adrian lay there dying, wanting only to seek revenge against those who had him killed.

A vampire was passing by, and turned him.

Adrian slaughtered his family, being satisfied with his revenge and taking his seat on the throne…

But after years and years of ruling his kingdom all on his own… things became dull. Any lovers or friends he made slipped between his fingers as time went on, and he found himself all alone in the abandoned kingdom.

For centuries, he wandered there alone… until you moved into a small home nearby.

It was a bit embarrassing, Adrian fell for you quickly. You resembled the beauty standard from his time. A thick, plump frame, soft features, and the prettiest smile he had ever seen.

Taking you away to stay with him in his castle was easy. Preparing it to be safe for human life once again was the hard part.

Now, you spent a lot of time lounging around and reading books from his vast collection of novels from the library down the hall. He often left for days on end, returning with bags full of food and gifts for you to enjoy.

“Love, I’ve brought you those candies you’re so fond of.”

You perked up at his words, marking the page you had been reading with a bookmark before standing up. “Really?”

Adrian smirked, settling down on the couch and patting his lap. “You know the drill.”

Unfortunately, you did.

With a sigh, you pulled your cardigan tight around you and climbed into his lap, perching yourself on his leg as he let out a satisfied purr. “That’s my good girl… you want your treat, don’t you?”

He caressed your cheek, melting at the way it squished under his fingers. You were so damn soft, he was whipped for you!

“Oh, my precious one…” he cooed, feeding you a piece of candy before nuzzling his face against your head. “You’re just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen… my angel…”

He proceeded to cover your cheeks and neck in kisses, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you in close.

His body was cold to the touch, and there had never been an ounce of comfort or warmth when you curled up in his arms. Well… maybe not warmth, but if you didn’t feel at least a smidge of comfort, then why did you lean into him?

“Reading all day again, hmm? You must be bored, I’m sorry. I’ve brought home some new games and a few movies for you to watch…”

A kiss was pressed into your temple. “How I adore you… if only I could give you the world, my love. You deserve it and so much more…”

Despite the never ending hunger and desperate need to sink his fangs into your neck, Adrian was the most gentle and careful man in existence.

Every time his hand made contact with your flesh, he treated you like glass that could shatter with the slightest bit of pressure.

Perhaps he did love you, in his own way.

So as he doted on you and cooed softly, you leaned forward and pecked his cheek.

“Next time you go out, you should bring home some more blankets.”

His cheeks flushed at the kiss, and his grip tightened around you. With a lovesick look, he nodded.

“Anything for you, my love.”

Kofi and Patreon members got to see this and many other fics early! Consider supporting me there if you’d like early and exclusive content ^^

——————

YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @avalordream @atransmuter @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @enchantedsylveon @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @hammerhead96 @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko @soapybabyboop @sandramalikstyles-blog @anonymouskiwi @pedropascalbabygirl @flamefoxx @an-ever-angry-bi @bath1lda @ilyanadelarosa @iswearimnotadrugdealer @whysageee @yumikomoon @rainejiang @lostsomewhereinthegarden

[bliegmeister]

"Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend. The rest of us know that though we can have erotic love and friendship for the same person yet in some ways nothing is less like a Friendship than a love-affair. Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest. Above all, Eros (while it lasts) is necessarily between two only. But two, far from being the necessary number for Friendship, is not even the best. And the reason for this is important. ... In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away." - CS Lewis

-----

I love a good romance, and I don't judge people by their ships, but it feels like two characters lose a lot of their personality and relationship when they're suddenly shipped together, at least to me.

Not every character needs to be in a romantic relationship reblog if you agree

[purplereina11]

The Perfect Shot Series You experience a few firsts with Alexia

Word count: 8.8K

Warnings: Sex, there is a warning in this so you can know when to stop reading if you're not wanting to read it

You and Alexia had been dating for a number of weeks now, your mind cast back to your honesty on the beach nearly three weeks ago now and Alexia had changed one ounce with you, she was still the same kind caring thoughtful person you’d come to be very comfortable around. Tonight she’d invited you to one of Barcelona’s away games on the rare time Badalona weren’t playing, you flew in a mere hour from there away win, your team mates interests were all were peaked that you were catching a plane to Madrid instead of travelling back with them.

The sun hung high in the sky, casting a warm golden hue across the sprawling football stadium. The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the anticipation of the team and fans, a sea of faces buzzing with excitement. You adjusted the strap from your bag, feeling the weight of it against your chest, but today it felt lighter, almost buoyant as you set your bag down at your feet. This evening Real Madrid were taking on Barcelona at home, which was not the advantage it sounded like and should be since they were against such a strong team. One you’d learned they’d never beat in there history.

Today would be the first time you watched Alexia play in person, you’d obviously seen her play on TV before. Your eyes went down the team sheet posted on Instagram, seeing Alexia’s name sat proudly as Captain. Your thoughts danced back to the dates with Alexia, the spark of her laughter still echoing in your mind , your heart raced at the thought of seeing her in this way, she’d always been Alexia with you, but this evening she’d be the great award warning best in the world Alexia Putellas. You could still feel the warmth of her kiss lingering on your lips, a very sweet reminder of the moments.

Your head rose as you chewed your gum looking around you, as the teams took to the pitch, your eyes swept the field, searching for her. There she was, a striking figure in her team’s colours, hair pulled back tightly, determination etched across her face. The sight sent a jolt through you, a mix of admiration and something deeper. You recalled the way she had smiled at one of her teammates, that quick flash of vulnerability beneath her confident exterior. 

You tried to follow the action but your gaze kept straying back to Alexia, her every movement commanding attention, your gaze lowered to your phone a text message from Carla

Am I loosing it, or are you here?

Before you could reply, a sudden cheer from the crowd erupted, pulling your attention back to the game. The opposing team surged forward, and you instinctively raised your phone, capturing the moment. Click. A brilliant shot of Alexia intercepting the ball, her fierce concentration shining through. You couldn’t help but smile.

I’m here

You finally replied, you sat up in your seat looking for Carla who was already looking right at you, you shared a little wave and a text promise to see her at half time if only briefly.

But as the game unfolded, a tension thickened in the air. You could see it in Alexia’s posture, a flicker of frustration as the opposing team pushed harder, their tactics growing more aggressive. The referee’s whistle pierced the air, and Alexia turned, her expression fierce. She shouted, her voice cutting through the air, you could hear her from where you sat at the back over the crowd. The crowd echoed her sentiment, a wave of discontent rolling across the stands. 

You lowered your eyes momentarily, heart racing at the sight of her passion. It was intoxicating, watching her fight for every inch on the field. You couldn’t help the joy and pride you felt when Barcelona scored from a corner, from your position it looked like Patri stole Alexia’s goal shot on the line, your head turned to the big screen for the replay as it was celebrated. Alexia’s shot was going wide so you forgave Patri began smiling and clapped along with the fans around you.

As the first half come to its end, she was walking across the field towards the locker room, she said something to Carla.

“Carla” She called, when they were walking in step she asked, “Do you know if Y/N is here?”

She nodded smiling, “Back left corner, near the man with the big flag”

You turned your head back from the highlights being shown to the field, she caught your gaze, and for a heartbeat, the chaos of the fans around you faded. She flashed you a sly smile, a flicker of recognition that sent warmth flooding through you before moving out of view. It was subtle but it was there. She knew you’d came after playfully telling her you wouldn’t make any promises when she asked if you’d come when she handed you a ticket for the game when you last saw her.

You smiled as your phone lit up Alexia must of barely sat down in the locker room when she text

Remind me to get you a Barca shirt

Can you put Batlle’s name on the back?

Behave

You bit your lip at the slight show of dominance from Alexia, you were becoming increasingly suggestive and flirtatious with each other, the sexual tension was building but neither of you had made the first move to invite the other into there home. Your dynamic was quite evenly balanced you were trying to explain that to Carla one evening over drinks when she finally asked about the pair of you and you felt you could share.

Yes La Reina

The second half was a little less stressful Barcelona dominated in ways they always did, you hadn’t sat down much like the fans around you, the chances were coming in waves after waves, you smiled clapping as Alexia scored 2 minutes into the stoppage time. You shook your head as she ran in your direction the unbridled joy on her face involuntarily causing your lips to smile also, she looked directly into your soul as she celebrated, she fired a kiss off waved and jogged away again.

It wasn’t long after the full time whistle went you found yourself collecting your bag you wrapped the Barca flag you were supporting more around yourself, the cold chill of the air settling around you. You were collected by Carla and taken into an area marked as authorised personal only, you were in full conversation with a smile on your face, “You have to get the tattoo Y/N ever since I’ve known you, you mention it at least once a week.

“You want a tattoo?” Your head rose as an arm came around your neck, Carla’s mouth dropped at the way you both looked at each other, both your eyes sparkling, you simply nodded, “I’ll go with you”

“You would?” You asked enjoying the feeling of being slotted under Alexia’s arm, she nodded, “Well.. ok”

“Book the appointment”

You had literally been back in Barcelona 4 hours when Alexia rang you that she was outside, she’d booked you an appointment to get your tattoo with the artist you’d been in contact with, it was a whirlwind 20 minutes until you found yourself outside the shop.

"Alexia, I must confess, my heart is racing at the thought of getting this tattoo," you say, your voice trembling slightly as you share your vulnerability. The anticipation looms large, and the reality of the moment begins to settle in. Her gaze softens, and she responds with a warm smile that radiates understanding

"Don't worry, I've got you," Alexia reassures you, her hand gently squeezing your shoulder. "Remember, I'll be right here the whole time." 

You nod, grateful for her presence. As you both enter the tattoo parlour, the buzz of needles and faint rock music fills the air. The scent of antiseptic mingles with incense, creating an oddly comforting atmosphere.

"First timer?" the artist asks, noticing your nervous energy.

"Is it that obvious?" you chuckle, trying to mask your anxiety.

Alexia pipes up, “She’s braver than she looks. I've seen her eat pineapple on pizza."

You playfully roll your eyes at her joke, already feeling more at ease. As you settle into the chair, Alexia takes your hand, her thumb tracing soothing circles on your palm. You’d noticed over the last few meetings Alexia had got more comfortable in placing a hand in yours or on your lower back. She’d even tapped your arse on one occasion as she instructed you to walk through a door first, you both new you were bound to cross that line of intimacy sooner rather than later one of you just needed to invite the other over. One of you just needed to make that first move.

"So, have you decided on the final design?" Alexia asks, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

You pull out your phone, fingers fumbling slightly as you scroll through your gallery. "I think so. What do you think of this one?" you ask, showing her the song lyrics you've been obsessing over for months, that really resonated with you.

Alexia's eyes widen, a look of genuine admiration spreading across her face. "It's completely you," she breathes, leaning in closer to examine the font for the quote you showed her. "Is that someone’s handwriting?"

You shook your head swallowing, “No just like cursive”

“Long story short I survived” Alexia smiled knowing the song because her sister was obsessed with it at one point, “It’s perfect, you should go for it”

Her enthusiasm is contagious, and you feel a surge of excitement replacing your nervousness. The tattoo artist nods approvingly as you show him the design.

"Nice choice," he says, preparing his equipment. "Where are we putting this?"

You hesitate for a moment, then pull up your shirt slightly to reveal your ribcage. "Right here," you say, your fingertips grazing the spot adjacent to your breast.

Alexia's eyes follow your movement, and you notice a faint blush creeping up her cheeks. She clears her throat and says, "That's, um, that's a great spot. I’ll be." she pointed aimlessly behind her to the wall of tattoo options clearly a little flustered you looked at yourself in the mirror and noticed it was obvious you were without a bra and she got a little flash of the side of your breast.

As the tattoo artist begins to stencil the design onto your skin, you can't help but notice Alexia's lingering gaze. She's trying to be subtle, but her eyes keep darting back to the exposed skin of your ribcage. Or the area painfully close. You feel a little thrill at her obvious interest.

"So, um, how long have you wanted this tattoo?" Alexia asks, clearly trying to distract herself her eyes not coming off the wall.

You smile, enjoying her flustered state. "Oh, for a while now. But I never had the courage until now."

"Why now?" she asks, her eyes meeting yours.

You hold her gaze, feeling suddenly bold. "I guess I just needed the right person to give me that final push."

Alexia's breath catches, and for a moment, the air between you feels electric. The tattoo artist clears his throat, breaking the spell.

"Alright, so i’m going to step out whilst you get yourself ready, I’m going to need you remove your shirt and sit with your chest pressed against the back of this chair, is that ok?” He asked, with a smile you nodded as he left, even he eyed Alexia her face practically pressed up against the wall on his way past. You bit your lip at the thrill of excitement when you removed your shirt and you were bare Alexia a matter of steps away, you did as you were told, “All ready?”

“Yeah”

He came back in with a gentle smile, in the mirror in front of you, you see Alexia turn to look over her shoulder and her throat bounced. “I drew that flower we spoke about”

You looked to the artist, “Can I see?” You bit your lip when he grabbed the stencil and got a little smile, it was just what you wanted before you landed on the quote.

“Why don’t you see how you find getting this one then we’ll see about the other?” you nodded

You can't help but smirk at Alexia's flustered reaction as she moved nearer changing the wall she was staring at. As the tattoo artist begins to prep the gun, you decide to have a little fun with the situation.

"Hey Alexia," you call out, your voice playful, "Why don't you come hold my hand? I might need some moral support." Your arms resting over the back of the chair you turned one hand over in a visual request.

She turns back to you, her cheeks still tinged pink. "Oh, um, sure," she stammers, making her way back to your side, her eyes darting, but you caught the glance to your chest.

As she takes your hand, you feel a spark of electricity between you. The tattoo artist begins his work, and you wince slightly at the first prick of the needle.

"You okay?" Alexia asks, concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah, just... distract me?" you request, squeezing her hand.

Alexia nods, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "So, tell me about this flower tattoo you're considering. Is it going somewhere... interesting?" she asks, her gaze briefly flickering down to your exposed skin.

You can't help but grin at her playful tone. "Wouldn't you like to know?" you tease back, enjoying this flirtatious banter. The sting of the needle becomes a distant sensation as you focus on Alexia's face.

"Maybe I would," she replies, her voice low and husky. Her thumb traces lazy circles on your palm, sending shivers up your arm.

The tattoo artist clears his throat, reminding you both of his presence. "So, uh, how do you two know each other?" he asks, clearly picking up on the tension between you.

You and Alexia exchange a look, both suppressing smiles. 

"Oh, we're... friends," you say, your tone playful.

"Mmhmm, friends," Alexia echoes, giving your hand a little squeeze. "Who happens to spend an awful lot of time together."

The tattoo artist chuckles. "Right, 'friends.' Got it."

As he continues working on your tattoo, you find yourself getting lost in conversation with Alexia. She tells you funny stories about her day at work, describes a new recipe she wants to try, and asks your opinion on a book she's reading. Before you know it, the sting of the needle has faded into the background and you were done

"Alright, we're all done" the artist announces. "Want to take a look?"

You nod eagerly, you took your hand back from Alexia and without a care your arm came over your chest as you stood you more than certain Alexia got an unintentional eye full by the intense shade of red she went. You got a smile on your face as you admired it in the mirror, “Oh I love it, thank you so much, it’s just what I wanted.”

The artist smiled widely, the best part of his job was seeing his customers happy faces at the end, “So..We doing the flower?” he asked with a wide smile

You hesitate for a moment, glancing at Alexia. Her eyes are wide with anticipation, a mix of curiosity and something else you can't quite place flickering across her face. You feel a surge of boldness, fuelled by the adrenaline of your first tattoo and the electric tension between you two.

"You know what? Let's do it," you declare, surprising even yourself, feeling emboldened by the rush of endorphins from your first tattoo.

The artist grins, clearly excited by your enthusiasm. "Alright! Where are we putting this one?"

You bite your lip, considering. Your eyes lock with Alexia's as you make your decision, and suddenly you’re feeling daring. "How about... here?" you suggest, trailing your fingers along the crease where the top of your leg met your most intimate area

Alexia's breath hitches audibly, and you can't help but smirk at her reaction.You notice her pupils dilate slightly. The artist, oblivious to the charged atmosphere, nods approvingly.

"Great choice," the artist says, preparing his equipment once again. "This one might be a bit more sensitive, just to warn you."

You nod, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and nerves. As you collect your discarded top, you can't help but notice Alexia fidgeting, her eyes darting between you and the floor.

"It'll look great there. I'll need you to lower your jeans a bit to access the area."

You hook your thumbs into your waistband, hesitating for just a moment before slowly sliding your jeans down a few inches. The movement exposes a tantalising peak of your underwear. You catch Alexia's gaze following the motion, her eyes widening slightly.

"Is this okay?" you ask innocently, looking directly at Alexia rather than the artist.

She swallows hard, her voice a bit hoarse as she replies, "Y-yeah, that's... that's perfect."

The artist begins preparing the area, and you lie back on the chair, hyper-aware of Alexia's presence beside you. Her eyes keep darting between your face and the exposed black panties you were sporting her fingers fidgeting nervously. You can practically feel the tension radiating off her. With her cheeks flushed, you decide to push things a little further.

"So, Alexia," you say casually as the artist begins to work on the placement of the stencil, “What do you think about flower tattoos?"

She startles slightly at being addressed, her cheeks flushing. "Oh, um, I think they're beautiful. Especially in... certain places."

You raise an eyebrow, enjoying her flustered state. "Oh? And what places might those be?"

The artist chuckles quietly, clearly amused by your banter. Alexia opens her mouth to respond, then closes it again, seemingly at a loss for words.

"You know," you continue, wincing slightly as the needle hits a sensitive spot, "I might need you to hold my hand again. This one's a bit more... sensitive."

Alexia nods eagerly, wordlessly taking your hand in hers. Her palm is slightly sweaty, betraying her nervousness. As the artist begins, you let out a small gasp at the sensation.

"You okay?" Alexia asks, her voice filled with concern.

"Yeah," you breathe, squeezing her hand. "It's just... intense."

The artist works diligently, and you try to focus on Alexia's face to distract yourself from the discomfort. Her eyes meet yours, and suddenly the air feels thick with unspoken tension.

"So," you say, your voice low, "what do you think of my choice of placement?”

Alexia's eyes flicker down to where the artist is working, then quickly back up to your face. She licks her lips nervously before responding.

"I think it's...," she says, her voice husky. “Incredibly sexy."

Your breath catches at her words, the intensity of her gaze making your skin tingle. The artist continues his work, oblivious to the charged atmosphere between you two at the top of the bed.

"Yeah?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm glad you approve."

Alexia's thumb traces slow circles on your palm, sending goosebumps up your arm. You can't help but imagine those fingers exploring other parts of your body.

"You know," you continue, wincing slightly as the needle hits a particularly sensitive spot, "I might need some extra distraction for this one. Any ideas?"

Alexia's eyes darken with desire. She leans in closer, her lips just inches from your ear. "I might have a few ideas," she whispers, her warm breath sending shivers down your spine.

You turn your head slightly, your noses almost touching. "Care to share?" you murmur, your heart racing.

Alexia's gaze flicks down to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes. The tension between you is palpable, electric. She opens her mouth to respond when suddenly, the tattoo artist speaks, reminding you both of his presence. "Almost done here," he says, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Alexia pulls back slightly, but her eyes remain locked on yours. "Maybe I'll show you later," she says, her voice low and full of promise.

You feel a rush of anticipation at her words. The sting of the needle barely registers as you lose yourself in Alexia's gaze. 

"All done," the artist announces, breaking the spell. "Want to take a look?"

As the artist steps back, a sense of exhilaration washes over you. You sit up slowly, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and nerves. With a gentle nod, you climb off the bed heading to the mirror, your breath catching in your throat as you take in the sight of your new tattoo. 

“Oh my gosh, it’s beautiful!” you exclaim, your eyes widening with joy. The intricate design of the flower, capturing the essence of what you wanted perfectly. You can’t help but smile, feeling a rush of pride and satisfaction at the stunning artwork now adorning your skin.

The artist beams, clearly pleased with his work. “I’m glad you like it! You were a fantastic canvas,” he says, cleaning up his station.

You look up at Alexia in the mirror, who’s watching you with a look of admiration and something deeper—something electric. Her eyes sparkle with excitement, and you can see the warmth radiating from her before you felt it when she stood incredibly close behind you.

“See? I told you it would be worth it,” she says, her voice filled with genuine happiness for you, her breathe tickling your ear. You can’t help but notice how her gaze lingers on your tattoo, tracing the lines with her eyes as if trying to memorise every detail.

“Thank you for being here,” you say softly, your heart swelling with gratitude. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Alexia’s cheeks flush slightly, and she brushes a stray hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t have missed it your first time. I’m proud of you.” 

As the moments stretch, you feel a familiar flutter in your chest. It’s a mix of exhilaration from the tattoo and the undeniable connection that has been building between you two. You take a step closer back into to her, your arse pressing into her groin, feeling the heat radiate off your skin where the tattoo now rests.

“Maybe,” you suggest playfully, “you could kiss them better.. at some point”

Her eyes widen, a mixture of surprise and intrigue dancing across her features. “Oh?” she asks, her tone teasing yet curious.

Your heart races as the implications of your words settle in. The air between you thickens with unspoken possibilities, and for a fleeting moment, you wanted to just have her here. 

Her gaze holds yours, the tension palpable as a charged silence envelops you. There’s a flicker of something in her eyes, a spark that ignites a longing within you. 

“Maybe we can make that happen sooner rather than later,” she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

The tattoo artist’s voice breaks through the moment as he gathers his supplies. “Just make sure to keep the area clean and moisturised for the next few weeks,” he instructs. 

You nod, still caught in the whirlwind of emotions swirling between you and Alexia. She clears her throat moving away as you raise your jeans back up around your waist. As you leave the studio, hand in hand, the world feels different now—full of potential and uncharted territories waiting to be explored. 

With each step you take outside into the sunlight, the tattoo feels like a new chapter in your life, one that you’re eager to share with Alexia. The journey ahead seems thrilling, and you can’t help but feel that this is just the beginning of something beautiful—something that transcends friendship and flirts with the edges of intimacy. 

As you walk side by side, laughter and playful banter fill the air, but beneath it all lies a current of unspoken desires, waiting for the perfect moment to emerge. And in that moment, you realise that this tattoo isn’t just about ink on skin; it’s a symbol of courage, connection, and the promise of more adventures to come.

++++

As you settled into the comfort of your home getting home from the Badalona home match, your eyes were glued to the screen, after turning it on to watch Barcelona, you tuned in on the hour mark shocked to see the score line. You began witnessing Barcelona’s unfortunate struggle against Levante. The match marked a disheartening milestone, as it was the team's first defeat in an astonishing 46 Liga games. Amidst the unfolding drama on the field, your thoughts were consumed with concern for Alexia, whose fate seemed intertwined with the outcome of the match.

In that moment, as the game unfolded, the tension in the air was palpable in your home so you couldn’t imagine what it was like for the players involved and in the stadium. The vibrant colours of Barcelona's jerseys, once a symbol of triumph, now seemed muted against the backdrop of their unexpected defeat. Each passing minute felt like an eternity as you watched the players battle for every inch, their determination evident, yet the elusive victory slipped further away when Levante scored a second in the 94th minute. The scoreline reflected not just a loss, but also the weight of expectations that come with being a top-tier team.

Your thoughts drifted to Alexia, whose presence brought you joy and inspiration, a player known for her tenacity and skill, an embodiment of the spirit that Barcelona fans cherish. The worry you felt for her stemmed for the emotional toll such a loss could take on her. You could see her on the field, giving it her all, and the thought of her disappointment mingled with your own.

As the final whistle blew, signalling the end of the game, a wave of melancholy washed over you. The cheers of the opposing fans echoed in stark contrast to your own feelings of dismay. In that moment of reflection, you realised that this defeat was not just about the game; it was a reminder of the highs and lows that come with sports and the deep connections you forge with players in them.

You tried to find a solace in the thought that even the greatest teams face adversity, and that this moment, though painful, would eventually lead to growth and resilience. As you pondered the implications of the game, your concern for Alexia transformed into a desire to support her, knowing that true strength is often revealed in the face of setbacks. But it was well told how when Alexia suffered a defeat she went into herself, so you found yourself in shock when little over an hour later, Alexia’s name was lightening up your phone.

“Hi” You spoke softly, she didn’t speak right away, but you wished she hadn’t when you heard the sadness in her voice

“Hola”

You didn’t know what to say, how could you even begin to comfort her after the evening she’d had. The silence stretches between us, heavy with unspoken emotions. You could almost feel Alexia's disappointment through the phone, her usually vibrant energy subdued."Alexia," You breathe, your heart aching at the pain in her voice. "I... I'm sorry about the match," I finally manage, wincing at how inadequate the words sound.

There's a long pause, and you could feel her struggling to find the words. Alexia sighs, a soft, broken sound that tugs at my heart. When she finally speaks, her voice is barely above a whisper. "I just... I don't understand what happened out there. We were so close."

I close my eyes, wishing I could reach through the phone and hold her. "You played your heart out, Alexia. Everyone could see that."

"Did we?" There's a bitter edge to her words now. "Maybe we didn't fight hard enough. Maybe we got complacent. But it wasn't enough," she says, her voice cracking. "We let everyone down. I let everyone down."

"No," You said firmly, surprising yourself with the intensity in your tone. "You didn't let anyone down. This is just one game, one moment. It doesn't define you or the team."

You hear a soft sniffle and a shaky breath on the other end of the line, and my heart clenches."But it feels like it does," Alexia whispers. "We were undefeated for so long. And now..."

"And now you have a chance to show everyone how you bounce back," you say gently. "That's what makes a true champion, Alexia. Not never falling, but how you rise after you do."

“Everyone expected us to keep winning."

You take a deep breath, choosing your words carefully. "Expectations can be a heavy burden, Alexia. But remember, you're human. The team is human. Perfection isn't sustainable, and that's okay."

There's a long pause, and for a moment you worry you've said the wrong thing. But then you hear a soft chuckle, barely audible but unmistakably there.

"When did you get so wise?" Alexia asks, a hint of her usual playfulness creeping back into her voice.

You feel a smile tugging at my lips. "I learned from the best."

Another pause, but this one feels lighter somehow. "Can i come over?" Alexia says softly.

“Of course” you both ended the call and you were waiting with anticipation with the Alexia you would be met with, usually her smile was ever present. But as you opened the door, that smile wasn’t there.

You open the door, and your heart sinks as you take in Alexia's appearance. Her usual radiant smile is nowhere to be seen, replaced by a weariness that seems to weigh down her entire being. Her eyes, usually sparkling with life, are red-rimmed and puffy, evidence of the tears she's shed.

"Hey," you say softly, stepping aside to let her in. She moves past you, her shoulders slumped, and you can almost feel the heaviness of her disappointment in the air.

Alexia stands in the middle of your living room, looking lost and vulnerable. Without a word, you close the distance between you and wrap your arms around her. She stiffens for a moment, then melts into your embrace, burying her face in your shoulder.

You hold Alexia tightly, feeling her body slump slightly as she finally lets her guard down. Her breath comes in shaky gasps against your neck. You don't say anything, knowing that sometimes silence is the most comforting sound.

After a few minutes, Alexia pulls back slightly, her eyes meeting yours. There's a raw vulnerability in her gaze that makes your heart ache. "I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice hoarse. "I didn't mean dump on you like this."

You shake your head, reaching up to gently wipe a thumb over her cheek. "Don't apologise. You're allowed to feel this, Alexia. It's okay to be upset."

She nods, taking a deep breath. "I just... I don’t normally reach out after bad games like this, i prefer to be alone but i knew you’d make me feel better”

You feel a warmth bloom in your chest at her words, touched by her trust in you. your heart swells with a mixture of pride and tenderness at your words "I'm glad you came," you say softly, leading her to the couch. "Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather just... be?"

Alexia sinks into the cushions, her eyes distant. "I don't know," she admits. "It's all just... jumbled up in my head."

Her body language still tense. You sit beside her, close enough to offer comfort but giving her space if she needs it. "That's okay. We can just sit here if you want."

She nods, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. You watch her, noticing the tension in her jaw, the slight tremor in her hands as she runs a hand through her hair, a gesture you've come to recognise as a sign of her frustration without thinking, you reach out and take her hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Alexia's eyes flutter open, and she looks at you with a mix of gratitude and something else you can't quite place. She squeezes your hand back, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips, she closes the distance and closes her lips around yours, “Thank you” she whispers, her voice barely audible, your eyes lingered in yours.

As Alexia's lips meet yours again, you feel a surge of warmth and tenderness. The kiss is soft, hesitant at first, as if she's seeking comfort and reassurance. You respond gently, letting her set the pace, your hand coming up to cup her cheek.

The kiss deepens, and you can taste the salt of her earlier tears. There's a desperation in the way she clings to you now, as if you're an anchor in the storm of her emotions. Your fingers thread through her hair, and you pull her closer, trying to convey without words that you're here for her, that she's safe.

When you finally break apart, both slightly breathless, Alexia rests her forehead against yours. Her eyes are closed, but her expression seems more peaceful now. "I needed that," she whispers, her breath warm against your lips.

You brush your thumb across her cheek, “You don’t have to stop there” you spoke your words laced with hints of what you wanted if she wanted to also.

Alexia's eyes lift, meeting yours with a mix of vulnerability and growing desire. Her lips part slightly, and you feel her breath quicken. "Are you sure?" she asks softly, her voice husky.

In response, you move to straddle her lap leaning in and capture her lips again, this time with more intensity. Alexia responds immediately, her hands sliding up your thighs to grip your hips. The kiss deepens, becoming more passionate as the emotional tension of the evening transforms into something else entirely.

You press yourself closer, your hands holding her face. This time, the kiss is different. There's a hunger behind it, a need that goes beyond comfort, “I want you.” Alexia gasps between kisses. She breaks the kiss, her lips trailing along your jaw and down your neck. You shiver at the sensation, a soft gasp escaping your lips.

“Take me” your hand rests on the back of her neck as her lips find your bare collarbone kissing over to the other on, your hips moving instinctively against her.

"Bedroom?" Alexia murmurs against your skin, her voice low and filled with want.

You nod, unable to form words as desire floods your senses. You stand up, pulling Alexia up with you. Your lips find hers again as you stumble towards the bedroom, hands roaming and clothes being shed along the way.

By the time you reach the bed, you're both down to your underwear, once inside, Alexia pulls you close again, her kisses more urgent now. Her hands roam your body, leaving trails of heat in their wake.

Your fingers trace the lines of her toned abdomen, marvelling at the softness of her skin. Alexia shivers under your touch, her eyes dark with want. Alexia backs you towards the bed, she gently pushes you onto the mattress, her eyes dark with want as she takes in the sight of you. She crawls over you, her body pressing against yours in all the right places.

Alexia's eyes sparkle with desire in the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the balcony doors. "Are you sure?" She whispers, her voice barely audible over the distant sounds of the city coming alive for the evening.

Your lips curve into a gentle smile. "I've never been more certain of anything," you murmur, her fingers now tracing the line of your thigh.

You reach up to cup her face, you pull it to you, capturing her lips with yours. The kiss starts slow, it’s tender at first, a delicate exploration, but quickly deepens as the passion between you re-ignites. Her hands tangle in your hair as she pulls you closer, the warmth of her body against yours making you dizzy with desire. Her weight on top of you feels right, like she belongs there.

You run your hands along her sides, feeling the soft curve of her waist, the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body. Alexia's lips leave yours, trailing kisses down your neck, each one sending sparks of pleasure through your body. You gasp as she finds a particularly sensitive spot, your fingers digging into her back.

"You're beautiful," Alexia murmurs against your skin, her breath warm and tickling on your collarbone. Her words make your heart swell, and you pull her back up to kiss her deeply, pouring all your emotions into it. 

Her hands explore your body, tracing every curve, every dip. Like she wants to memorise every inch of you. Alexia's fingers dance across your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The world outside fades away until there's nothing but the two of you, lost in each other's embrace in your bedroom.

Your hands fumble with the clasp her bra, eager to see more of her. Alexia chuckles softly, her laugh like music to your ears. She sits up, between your legs, and slowly reaches back to unclasp the last piece of clothing she had on you bare for all to see, maintaining eye contact with you the entire time. You watch, mesmerised, as she reveals more of herself to you.

Alexia's bra soon joins the clothes on the floor, and you marvel at her as your hands explore her body bumping over each of her breasts. Her lips trace a path down your neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. You arch into her touch, craving more.

“You’re so fucking sexy” she whispers again against your skin, her breath warm and enticing.

Your fingers tangle in her hair as she continues her journey downward, pausing to lavish attention on your breasts, paying special extended attention to each. A soft moan escapes your lips, and you feel her smile against your skin.

The world narrows even more to just the two of you, the sounds of Barcelona fading away. All that matters is Alexia's touch, her lips, her skin against yours. Time seems to slow as you lose yourself in the sensations she's creating.

Your hands roam her back, tracing the curve of her spine, pulling her closer. Your breath catches in your throat. The moonlight caresses her skin, painting her in silver and shadow. She shivers under your touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment.

“Touch me,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “I need you”

Alexia leans down, capturing your lips once more. The kiss is deeper now, more urgent. Your hands roam her back, feeling the play of muscles rippling beneath her skin as she moves against you. The weight of her, the warmth of her body pressed against yours, it's intoxicating. Your head went back as all four of her fingers ran down your intimate area, you got a little smile as your mouth opened, she was just where you wanted her to be.

“Why have I never noticed how big your hands are before?” You mused as her movements were methodical and slow up and down, up and down she was giving you a little bit of a taste of what was to come she didn’t dip inside your folds tantalising caressing the outside.

You roll, gently flipping your positions. Now you're the one looking down at Alexia, her hair fanned out on the pillow, her eyes dark with desire at the sudden movement of you taking control.

You hover above Alexia, drinking in the sight of her. Her chest rises and falls with each breath, her skin flushed with desire glowing in the moonlight. You lean down, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead, then her cheek, then the corner of her mouth. She whimpers softly, her hands coming up to grip your waist. 

"Please," she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper.

You smile, trailing kisses down her neck, “You teased me” Savouring the taste of her skin. Your hands explore her body, memorising every inch. You want to know every inch of her, to worship her the way she deserves. “Shall I tease you?” Her quiet gasps and sighs of pleasure encourage you, spurring you on

Alexia arches into your touch as you lavish attention on her breasts. Her fingers tangle in yours when you held her hand. The sounds she makes, soft moans and gasps, are the most beautiful music you've ever heard as your free hand goes down tantalising down her body you bump over her pubic bone then pull it back up. “Mi amor, por favour”

Your lips continue their journey down Alexia's body, trailing kisses across her stomach. Her skin quivers beneath your touch, goosebumps rising in the wake of your caresses. You pause at her hip, looking up to meet her gaze. Her eyes are heavy-lidded with desire, her lips parted as she pants softly. You knew exactly what you were doing.

"Is this okay?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Alexia nods, her fingers tightening around yours. “Si,” she breathes. “Por favor, don't stop."

Encouraged by her words, you continue your exploration, you let go of her hand as you settle between her legs. Your hands caress her thighs as you settle between them, placing soft kisses along the inside of her leg finding all her sensitive spots. Alexia's breath hitches as you near her centre, her hips lifting slightly off the bed in anticipation. Bucking slightly at the contact, a soft moan escaping her lips.

The first taste of her is intoxicating. You take your time, savouring every moment, every taste, every sound she makes. Your tongue traces patterns on her sensitive flesh, alternating between gentle licks and more focused attention. Alexia's fingers tighten in your hair, guiding you where she needs you most. Her soft moans grow louder, more insistent, as you bring her closer to the edge. 

You look up, wanting to see her face as pleasure washes over her. Alexia's head is thrown back, her eyes closed, lips parted as she pants. She's never looked more beautiful than in this moment of abandon.

"Look at me," you whisper, your breath hot against her most sensitive areas.

Alexia's eyes open, meeting yours. The connection is electric, intimate in a way that takes your breath away. You hold her gaze as you redouble your efforts, watching as the pleasure builds within her.

Her hips begin to move in rhythm with your movements, her breathing growing more ragged. 

"Oh god," she gasps, her fingers tightening in your hair, you enjoying the slight tugging, you slide your hands under her thighs, holding her close as you worship her with your lips and tongue.

You look up, watching her face as pleasure washes over her. Her head is thrown back, exposing the elegant line of her throat. Her lips are parted, soft moans escaping with each breath. The sight of her lost in ecstasy is breathtaking.

You increase your efforts, your tongue moving faster, more insistently. Alexia's thighs begin to tremble, her back arching off the bed. You can feel her getting close, her body tensing beneath you. You slide one hand up her body to caress her breast, feeling her nipple harden under your palm, your hand found her neck gently forcing her to hold eye contact.

Her hips rocking against your mouth, you increase the pressure and speed of your tongue, wanting to bring her to the heights of pleasure. Her moans grow louder, more desperate, as she nears her climax

You lavish attention there, circling and flicking your tongue in a steady rhythm. You can feel her getting close, teetering on the edge of ecstasy.

Alexia's body tenses, you moves your hand from her neck, as her back arching off the bed as waves of pleasure crash over her. Her thighs clamp around your head as she cries out your name, her fingers tightening against your hand on her breast as she rides out her climax. You continue your gentle work, drawing out her orgasm for as long as possible.

As her tremors subside, you place soft kisses on her inner thighs, her hips, her stomach, slowly making your way back up her body. Alexia's eyes are closed, her chest heaving as she catches her breath, a sheen of sweat glistening on her skin in the moonlight. When you reach her face, you pepper her cheeks with light kisses, tasting the salt of her sweat on her flushed skin.

Alexia's eyes flutter open, meeting yours, dark and hazy with lingering pleasure the look she gives you is filled with such tenderness and love that it makes your heart skip a beat. A slow, satisfied smile spreads across her lips as she pulls you down for a deep, languid kiss. You can feel the rapid beating of her heart against your chest as she holds you close.

“Your turn” she whispers

A shiver of anticipation runs through you at Alexia's words. Her hands are already moving, caressing your sides as she rolls you onto your back. She hovers above you, her hair falling around her face like a curtain, creating an intimate cocoon just for the two of you.

A mischievous glint in her eye. She leans down, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss that leaves you breathless.

Her hands roam your body, tracing patterns on your skin that make you shiver with delight. She breaks the kiss, trailing her lips along your jawline and down your neck. You tilt your head, giving her better access, a soft moan escaping your lips as she uses her tongue.

"I want to make you feel as amazing as you made me feel," Alexia murmurs against your skin. Her words send a flush of warmth through your body, making your heart swell with excitement and anticipation.

Her touch is electric, igniting every nerve ending as she explores your body. She takes her time, savouring every inch of you, her fingers and lips leaving trails of fire in their wake. You arch into her touch, craving more, your body humming with desire.

Alexia's mouth finds your breast, her tongue swirling around your nipple as her hand caresses the other. You gasp, your fingers tangling in Alexia's silky hair, holding her close as waves of pleasure wash over you. The sensation is exquisite, pleasure radiating through your body her talented mouth and hands work in tandem, drawing soft gasps and moans from your lips. She alternates between gentle caresses and more insistent touches, building your arousal higher and higher.

Her free hand trails down your stomach, tracing circles on your skin. Your muscles quiver beneath her touch, anticipation building as her fingers move lower. When she finally reaches your centre, you gasp, your hips bucking involuntarily when she touched what she teased earlier.

Alexia looks up at you, her eyes dark with desire. “You like that?” she asks, her voice husky as her fingers move in magic circles holding the most intense eye contact.

"Yes," you breathe, barely able to form words. "Please, don't stop."

She smiles, a glint in her eye. She stops.

She got the most seductive smirk on her lips watching you a laboured breathing mess anticipation making it impossible for you to calm. She held your chin in her hand, “Please”

“Do you want it?” She asked, you bit your lip nodding, using her thumb to pull it from your teeth before nibbling it herself gently tugging at it before kissing the sting before lowering her head to trail kisses down your body. Her tongue traces patterns on your inner thighs, teasing you, building your anticipation as she settles between your thighs this time, her warm breath teasing your sensitive skin. She looks up at you, her eyes dark with desire, seeking permission. You nod, unable to form words.

The first touch of her tongue against you makes you cry out, your hips lifting off the bed. Alexia's hands grip your thighs, holding you steady as she explores you with her lips and tongue. She takes her time, learning what makes you gasp and moan, what makes your body tremble.

Alexia's tongue moves in slow, deliberate circles, with exquisite skill, alternating between long, slow strokes and quick flicks that send jolts of pleasure through your body. Your hands grip the sheets, your head thrown back as waves of sensation wash over you.

Her hands caress your thighs, occasionally dipping lower to tease your entrance. The dual sensations make your head spin, every nerve ending alight with pleasure.

The dual stimulation is almost too much to bear. Your hips move of their own accord, seeking more contact, more friction. Alexia's free hand splays across your stomach, holding you down gently as she works you closer and closer to the edge. "Alexia," you gasp, your voice breathy and desperate. "Oh shit, Alexia..."

She hums in response, the vibration adding another layer to the pleasure building within you. Your thighs begin to tremble, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps.

You look down, meeting Alexia's gaze. The sight of her between your legs, her eyes dark with desire, sends a fresh wave of arousal through you. You reach down, running your fingers through her hair, gently tugging trying to hold on or dear life.

She responds eagerly, increasing the pressure and speed of her tongue. Your breath comes in short gasps now, your hips moving in rhythm with her. Working together towards the ultimate ending. The tension builds within you, a coiling spring ready to release.

Alexia slips two fingers inside you, the added stimulation pushes you closer to the edge. You’re so close you feel the need to tell her, “I’m so close” you gasp, your voice trembling with need.

Alexia redoubles her efforts, her tongue moving faster, more insistently against you. Her fingers curl inside you, finding that perfect spot that makes you see stars. The dual sensations are overwhelming, pleasure building to an almost unbearable intensity. Threatening to send you spiralling towards your peak.

Your back arches off the bed, your thighs trembling as you teeter on the edge of ecstasy. Your fingers moving to tightening on the sheets pulling at them as the pleasure builds to an almost unbearable intensity.

Alexia's free hand slides up your body to caress your breast, her thumb brushing over your nipple. The added stimulation is the final push you need.

"Fuck! Alexia!" you cry out as your orgasm crashes over you. Waves of ecstasy roll through your body, making you tremble and shake. “Yes” you cry out, Alexia doesn't let up, drawing out your pleasure for as long as possible until you gently push her away, oversensitive.

She kisses her way back up your body as you come down from your high, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. When she reaches your face, you pull her in for a deep kiss, tasting yourself on her lips.

Alexia settles beside you, her arm draped across your waist as she nuzzles into your neck, as you both catch your breath. Your breathing slowly returns to normal as you bask in the afterglow, feeling utterly content and sated.

The moonlight bathes the room in a soft glow, casting gentle shadows across her face.

You turn your head to look at her, marvelling at how beautiful she looks with her tousled hair and flushed cheeks, her eyes bright with contentment.

"That was..." you trail off, unable to find words adequate enough to describe the experience.

"Amazing," Alexia finishes for you, a soft smile playing on her lips. She reaches up to brush a strand of hair from your face, her touch tender and loving. She leans in to kiss you gently, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.

"You're amazing," you murmur against her mouth.

Your legs tangling together beneath the sheets, savouring the feeling of skin against skin her arm draping over your waist, “What was the score again?” You laugh gently “This wasn’t a booty call by the way” You blink, “That doesn’t mean i didn’t want to, I would never say no to you, but i want you to know i called you tonight because i wanted to see you, i had a shit game and the only thing i knew would make it better was you”

You pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I didn’t think it was” you gently moved your fingers over her head massaging as she held her face in your neck her soft breathe warming the spot, the breathing soon changed and you knew she’d fallen asleep the emotion and excursions of the day catching up with her.

It took you longer to feel tired, just basking in the feeling of having her close in your bed this way, you careful to not wake her dragged the sheets up over you both, put both arms around her kissed her head closed your eyes and actively tried to get some sleep yourself.

[drdemonprince]

Imagine a world where we looked at having sex the same way we do going out dancing or grabbing dinner.

Some people really enjoy visiting dance clubs or restaurants, include their partners in these activities, and make them a cornerstone of their social calendar; other folks are quite indifferent, and can take or leave them. Some people might only like engaging in these activities when they are completely alone, and others among us have highly specific preferences for the ways we might participate in them, if at all.

We don’t tend to assume a person’s life is incomplete if they have never been to a rave, and if a new buddy recommends we take an invigorating walk instead of grabbing an order of tibs and injera, we probably don’t bat an eye. If a romantic partner doesn’t share our passion for darkwave it might cause us problems, but we could just as easily call up a buddy with a Boy Harsher shirt and still have a good time.

Most of us recognize there’s potential for trauma surrounding body movement and food, but we don’t consider a person fundamentally broken if their parents forced them to eat vegetables or take a ballet class. We’ll consider it wrong that their feelings weren’t respected, and understand if they never want to join us for Black Swan and cheese fondue.

We don’t clutch our pearls if a child finds out that people twerk or drink wine. Even when forms of these activities are firmly for adults-only, it’s evident to all of us that they can be openly discussed, that no one is harmed by acknowledging their existence. These parts of regular life are not seen as magical, or assumed to be always beneficial or always negative for a person. Sometimes you eat an incredible burger. Sometimes you trip over your feet and briefly look like an ass. Neither defines your life or brings you to ruin.

And in the bold, sex neutral world that I am proposing, we’d have much the same attitudes toward intimacy. If we could view sex neutrally, we wouldn’t necessarily consider it a deal-breaker if a romantic partner enjoyed floggings and we preferred Tantric massage. A person who eschewed all sex or only had sex alone would be a bit of a private type, not a fundamentally different or lacking type of being. If a person was forty-five years old when they made their sexual debut, we’d treat them like someone who found a new hobby later in life, not like they were carrying some major social defect.

When sex was used as a tool of abuse or exploitation, we’d focus a lot more on the facts of the mistreatment, rather than the lurid details of the sex. We wouldn’t treat sex as radioactive, imbuing all it ever touched with a kind of sinister energy. And because we wouldn’t have to push back against such a demonized view of sex, we wouldn’t have to claim that sex was some life-changing, sacred activity that possessed a special ability to cement marriages or alter bodies, either.

Sex would just be a blasé thing, like going to the grocery store, getting a foot massage, taking a shit, or rolling a joint: highly pleasurable to some, completely squicky and uncomfortable to others, varying in its importance over the course of our lifespan, and never fundamentally good nor evil, just a regular part of human life.

We could think dispassionately about sex if this were the case, not viewing gay men in puppy hoods as predators simply for existing in the open air, or penalizing librarians for giving kids resources about their own bodies. We could acknowledge, without flipping out, that fetuses masturbate in the womb, children sometimes tie their dolls up in proto-fetishistic ways, and teenagers have sex with one another.

We would not consider it pathological if a young person had no interest in any of this, or if any person enjoyed sex in ‘unusual’ ways — they’d be no more strange to us than a lover of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

And if a child were sexually exploited, or an adult person coerced into sexual activity, sex neutrality would allow us to look to the power and access that made such an awful violation possible. We’d see the problem was that a child had no one but their parent to rely upon, and nowhere else to go when that parent blocked them from seeing friends, restricted their access to food, or used them for personal gratification. Rather than being blinded by our aversion to sex, we’d be able to name all three controlling behaviors as equally wrong, all potentially fraught and traumatic.

I wrote all about sex neutrality and how it helps us to better understand issues of consent, abuse, and desire. You can read it for free (or have it narrated to you by the Substack app) at drdevonprice.substack.com

[noosayog]

Sitting at the bar, alone, is far from Atsumu’s ideal Friday night. 

But Bokuto’s busy, Shoyo has a date, and Omi, well… he didn’t even bother to make an excuse. Some friends they are, especially when he’s going through a breakup. 

It does get better, minorly, when you, a pretty stranger, decide to sit in the stool directly to his left. Never mind that the bar is full and the seat next to his is the only free spot.

You’re pretty, dressed in something casual, yet memorable. He’s content to simply sit beside you, fantasizing scenarios in which he charmingly and successfully gets you to join him for a drink and dinner soon, when he hears you. 

“So how’s your night going?” 

“Uh.”

You giggle lightly. He feels his face flush a shade deeper. 

“Articulate, aren’t you?” 

Atsumu chokes out an awkward chuckle. “I’m usually better than this.” 

“Yeah?” You lean further in, propping your chin on your hand. 

“Yeah.” 

A moment of silence. Your smile drops. Oh, you’re definitely about to turn to your left and try your luck with the other guy sitting on that side. 

“Um-” 

“Ok, whatever,” you say. “I’m just gonna come out and ask. Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Uh, no. I’m actually going through a-”

You hold a hand up. “I don’t really wanna hear details. So you’re single? Not seeing someone? Not trying to see someone?” 

“No.” 

“Cool. Wanna make out with me? No strings attached, of course.” 

“Uh?”

“You’re not really doing too hot convincing me that your normal is better than this. Make out.” You gesture, lips puckered. “With me. Just looking for a little fun tonight, you know?” 

Yes, he does want to make out with the pretty girl sitting next to him, so charming, he thinks he might’ve fallen in love. But instead, what he says is- 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean it’s not really my things to hook up with someone right when I meet them and I’m going through a fresh breakup…” 

You sit back up, swiveling your stool so you’re facing the bar now. “No worries. I don’t wanna pressure someone who’s not down. Have a good night then.” 

You turn back to your book, which he didn’t even notice was there. A sip of your drink, knife to the conversation. 

Atsumu probably spends a good while racking his head for a way to restart the connection when he hears you order another drink. He keeps his head down, discreetly eavesdropping as you flirt with the bartender. 

The bartender rests both arms on the bar to lean closer to you, clearly bewitched. Not that Atsumu doesn’t understand but doesn’t this guy have a job to do? He makes a mental note to write a bad google review later. 

“So…” the bartender croons, “I heard your proposition for Blondie over there.” 

Excuse him? He’s sitting right here still! 

“If he’s not interested-”

“Who said I’m not!” 

Both sets of eyes whip toward him. 

“Bro, we both heard you say-” 

“Okay, so can’t a guy make a mistake?” He turns to you, voice accusatory. “Guys say things when we’re nervous. I’m nervous, okay? I’ve never been asked to make out with some like you,” he gestures up and down. “I am so interested in making out with you.” 

You blink once, twice, before turning to the bartender. “I think I’m done drinking for the night.” 

You turn toward him. 

“Put my drinks on blondie’s tab. He’s closing out now.” 

Atsumu hardly remembers throwing a couple of bills on the table before you grab his hand, trailing after your tinkling laughter. 

–

“- and that’s how I met your mother.” 

“Bullshit!” 

“No way she asked you, of all people, at that bar to make out with you.” 

”Seems kinda farfetched, Atsumu…” 

The MSBY team is gathered in your living room, your one year old son babbling on Atsumu’s lap. 

“Hey! No swear words around my son.” 

His teammates roll their eyes. 

“You’re so full of it. No way that story-”

“What are you guys talking about?” You enter the room with a handful of beers. 

“How you and Atsumu met.” 

“Oh, you mean how I asked him to make out with me?” 

“No fucking shot!” 

“Language!”

[trashsuit]

Fuck y'all, I'm answering all of these right here, right now (if you want me to elaborate, put it in my asks)

1. River (I go by my middle name online)

2. 17, turning 18 in a few months

3. June 9 2007

4. Gemini

5. Light purple

6. 3 and 82

7. Yes, 3 cats. A calico (I think) named Millie, a light brown tortie named Marley, and a dark brown tortie named Mischief

8. Pennsylvania

9. 5'4

10. 9

11. Idk, 5-10 if I had to guess

12. I can't remember any of my dreams

13. Uh, I have talents in most of the arts, I think. I act, I sing, I play piano and guitar, and I draw and paint

14. I don't think so

15. Changes every week. Right now? Maybe Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown

16. I don't really watch many movies, but probably Wicked

17. I'm aroace, but I'd love to live with a good friend who doesn't mind stuff like hugs and cuddles

18. Absolutely not

19. Even if I wasn't aroace, no

20. No

21. I got brain surgery when I was a few months old, but nothing since then

22. Not yet :3

23. Uh, does the actor who played The Wizard when I saw Wicked on Broadway count?

24. I prefer showers for actually cleaning myself, but I love a nice, relaxing bath

25. All of the above

26. No

27. Probably not, but I'd like to be the kind of celebrity who's only known by theatre kids and just about no one else

28. I listen to a lot of musical theatre and indie pop

29. No

30. 2, not counting stuffed animals

31. Yearner or free faller with one leg over my long stuffed animal

32. Medium, I think

33. Pillsbury strawberry cream cheese mini bagels that my school serves

34. No

35. No, but I want to

36. Skedaddle

37. Ass is one of my favorite insults

38. No clue, I usually take a lot of naps

39. Yes, across the top of my head

40. Yes I think, but his friend just tried to wingman for him, like, twice, then I was left alone

41. It depends on the lie and who I'm lying to

42. Fuck no, I don't realize people are hurting me until I'm bleeding out.

43. Yeah, I've learned through my acting class

44. I don't think so, but I've also never really left the area I grew up in enough to notice

45. I like doing a southern drawl

46. Idk what the personality types are and I don't feel like checking rn

47. By far my prom dress from last year. Most of my clothes are thrifted or from Walmart

48. Yes

49. What?

50. Right

51. Yes

52. My mom makes really good potato pancakes

53. Idk what it was called, but I had it in Japan. It was some meatballs with veggies and a really good sauce. Here's a picture (it's the stuff by the eggs)

54. Definitely messy

55. You freak/y'all freaks

56. Either fuck or freak, tbh

57. 10-15 minutes most days (if that)

58. I don't think so

59. Suck

60. Yes

61. Yes

62. I'm alright, but I'm improving with the help of a teacher

63. Probably my best friend leaving me. She's the reason I've stuck around this long, idk what I would do without her

64. Yeah

65. I genuinely can't think of one

66. I like my hair nice and short

67. *sings the 50 states song*

68. Art or history (my favorite class I take is actually theatre, but I don't think it counts)

69. It feels like it depends on the day and who I'm around

70. No

71. Almost everything, if I'm being honest (except for acting, alone or in front of a crowd)

72. Not really

73. Not really, I don't even correct people on my pronouns (I probably should tho)

74. I don't think I am

75. I don't think so, usually if I say something, I genuinely believe it, so if I did, it wasn't intentional

76. No and I don't wanna be

77. Like one sip of wine and I thought it was disgusting

78. No

79. I'm aroace, so no one

80. I have both of my earlobes pierced once and nothing else

81. Yeah

82. Not very, I'm faster on my phone than on an actual keyboard tho

83. In short bursts, like 7 mph, but I can't run a mile, I have to walk

84. Naturally, dark brown, but right now it's blue with streaks of purple

85. Hazel

86. Bactrim and possibly the sticky stuff in bandaids (I think it's latex)

87. I've tried and failed multiple times

88. My dad's a truck driver

89. It's alright, I mostly like it for theatre stuff

90. Id have to think. I'm easily annoyed or frustrated, but it takes a lot to piss me off

91. Yeah, though I kinda regret choosing such a common name. I know, like, 6 other people with my name

92. No

93. Idk, probably just a happy, healthy kid if I ever had one. I don't really care about its sex

94. Seeing the good in people

95. How trusting I am and how I try to see the good in people (that's how I keep getting hurt)

96. I kept going through baby name sites and for some reason, I really liked this one

97. No

98. Yeah, from ear to ear on top of my head

99. All of the above

100. The walls are a very light purple, but you'll find every color in there

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

[krazycat6167]

Say No

(written for @keferon’s Apocalyptic Ponyo AU. A bit of Jazz and Prowl set after most of the events of the au. Enjoy!)

-.-.-.-

Prowl watches from the sidelines as Jazz goes through yet another interview. He can’t shake the feeling that there is something off with Jazz. That there is something that isn’t right. 

Oh sure, Jazz looks happy, but Prowl doesn’t trust it. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t trust it though, so he’s scrutinizing Jazz and his behavior to try and figure it out. 

The other orca mer is smiling, talking as animated as he usually does (though notably trying to be polite by staying in one general area), using his hands as he speaks. Those are normal Jazz things to do, even if he seems a bit…more Jazz-y? He’s using a bit more inflection, slightly more exaggerated movements, a smidge extra charm behind the smile. The effect is entertaining, sure, but-.

But…he is…being entertaining. He is here, in an interview, answering questions both benign and personal, and he is putting on a show. 

Prowl’s gaze flicks around the room. Multiple cameras, stage lights, a dazzled audience. 

The interviewer, masterfully directing Jazz through the narrative with light and heavy topics and making sure to end on a high note. 

Jazz, big movements, big personality, put on display like a thing to be marveled at. 

A large grin that had been bothering Prowl the whole time because it is wrong. And now he knows it’s because it is fake. 

When the interview ends and Jazz swims offstage, Prowl takes his arm and leads him away. Away from the crowds, the lights, the cameras. Just away. From everything. Anyone who even thinks of approaching the two as they leave take one look at Prowl's hard expression and become too scared to even try. 

“While I enjoy swimming with you,” Jazz says when they are properly away from everyone, “is there a reason we left so quick?”

“You were uncomfortable.” Prowl answers. 

“Is that so?” Jazz says, amused. 

Prowl stops and turns to Jazz, stopping the other mer cold with a hard stare. “Yes, you were. You were putting on a show like it was still an obligation you owed for living somewhere when in reality you don’t owe anyone anything of yourself that you don’t want to give.”

The fact that Jazz looks shocked by this makes Prowl’s heart clench painfully. 

Prowl takes both of Jazz’s large hands in his. “I’m sorry,” he says while giving his hands a reassuring squeeze, “that I didn’t see it sooner. You did so many interviews and I didn’t see how similar they were to that tank until now.”

“Wha- hey, no,” Jazz brings their hands closer to his chest. “don’t apologize for this when it wasn’t even your fault. They asked to hear my story and-“

“And you could’ve told them no.” Prowl interrupts. “You don’t have to do these things anymore. You can say no. You can leave off you want. You aren’t confined to a small space anymore with no escape and no privacy. You can say no.”

“I- I can say no.” Jazz whispers like it’s revelation straight from the vents below. “I can leave.”

“You don’t have to do things you don’t want.”

Jazz floats there, clutching Prowls hands to his chest like they’re a lifeline, as his gaze drifts down in thought. “What I want…”

Slowly, Jazz looks up at Prowl. “I want you to show me that Crystal Reef you were talking about.”

Prowl smiles. “This way then.”

-.-.-.-

Two of the things Jazz loves about Mer society are the pouches that he can carry stuff—his stuff—in and the phones. After years of seeing humans use them (filming him, taking pictures of him), he now has one of his very own. An underwater phone, a fish phone, a fone (“It’s funny Prowler, trust me.”). It’s awesome!

Not very awesome right this second though. 

It’s vibrating, meaning someone is calling him. The screen only shows a frequency instead of a name, meaning it’s someone he doesn’t know. 

He sees Prowl look at him curiously from where he’s been sunbathing next to him as Jazz answers.

“Hello?”

“Hello! I am Undertow, a reporter with The Tuning Trident. Is this Jazz?”

Jazz sits up. “Yeah, I’m Jazz.”

“Excellent!” Undertow says, chipper. “We have been working on an article covering your story and the trials you went through. We here at The Tuning Trident are dedicated to bringing our readers the most accurate information that we can provide and we were wondering if you could come over sometime within the next few days to answer a few questions we have about your experience.”

Jazz freezes. He…doesn’t really want to talk about it with reporters anymore. He’ll just have to politely turn them down. 

Jazz opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. His throat is suddenly dry. He swallows his trepidation and tries again. “Uh…”

Is that it? Is that all he can bring himself to say that isn’t a fake and enthusiastic agreement?

The reporter on the phone starts talking again. “Of course, if coming in is an inconvenience, we can have a small team come to you to conduct the interview. We are very flexible here, so whatever may be best for you, we can certainly work with!”

That was even worse! He didn’t want nosy strangers coming to his favorite spots!

But he still can’t say no. 

His gaze flicks to Prowl, desperately and silently pleading for help. 

Prowl sits up and holds his hand open to Jazz. Jazz gives him the phone. 

“I regret to inform you,” Prowl says with no regret or remorse, “that Jazz won’t be doing any interviews for the time being.”

“It’ll just be a quick thing.” Undertow promises in a small tinny voice that Jazz can still hear. “Only a couple of questions to clarify a few facts.”

“No.”

“I- but- who is this? Who are you to speak for Jazz?”

“His manager.” Prowl's tone turns cold. “He is not available for an interview at this time.”

“Why not?”

“Jazz has his reasons and he doesn’t owe them to you. Good day.”

“Wait, if you could just tell us-“

“No.” Prowl hangs up. “The nerve of some Mer, it’s like they forgot that you're an apex- urk!”

Jazz hugs him, eyes shut tight, tucking his head into Prowl’s shoulder, and squeezes. “Thank you.” He whispers, voice wobbly. 

Prowl returns the hug, using one hand to cradle Jazz’s head. “Of course. You deserve some peace.”

“I tried.” Jazz says to Prowl’s shoulder. “I wanted to say no. I tried but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get that one word out and I tried.”

“I know.” Prowl pats Jazz’s head through his beanie. “It’s okay. You keep trying. And until you are able, I can say no for you whenever you need.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

[ginnsbaker]

All Of Your Pieces (16 - A Heart to Break)

Chapter Summary: This was cold, deliberate. Wanda wasn’t avoiding you, not exactly. She was around, always there at team meetings, in training sessions, and the common areas. But she never acknowledged you. When she did look at you—on those rare occasions—it wasn’t to meet your eyes. It was to look through you, as if you weren’t even there.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader Chapter word count: 3k+ | Chapter Tags: Angst

A/N: I'd like thank all of you again for following this series. Getting asks or feedback for this story is always the highlight of my week, especially how busy I am with school. Hope you like more angst :) P.S. @justagaynerdsblog it's not what you think. It's not THAT kind of triangle, it's just two idiots in love and being stupid // More author's notes here.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Wanda started dating Vision right away.

Much to your chagrin.

Not that you had any right to feel that way. You’d practically shoved her toward him, hadn’t you? Painting Vision as the perfect choice, the logical choice, the safe choice. You could almost laugh at how quickly they’d made it official. 

Well, almost.

Every time you saw them together, that laugh stuck somewhere in your throat. The compound wasn’t exactly big enough to avoid them. You saw them everywhere—Vision holding open a door for her, Wanda tilting her head back to laugh at something he said. It was all perfectly polite—just like you’d told her it would be. 

You told yourself it was fine. You had no right to feel jealous, no right to feel the knife that twisted in your chest every time Wanda smiled at him the way you wanted her to smile at you—how she used to smile at you.

Still, it grated.

You didn’t realize how much until the team dinner that Friday.

The dining room was rampageous, everyone laughing and talking over each other in a way that only happened when Tony was footing the bill and the drinks were flowing freely. Wanda sat next to Vision, their chairs too close, their hands brushing often enough to make your jaw clench every five minutes.

You’d taken a seat at the far end of the table, two spots down from Sam, who was loudly recounting some mission story that had Natasha rolling her eyes. You weren’t really listening. Your attention kept drifting to the other end of the table, where Wanda was leaning in to whisper something to Vision, her lips curving into a soft smile at his response.

You looked down at your plate, stabbing a piece of grilled chicken a little harder than necessary.

“Having fun there?”

You glanced up, startled, to find Sam smirking at you, his arms crossed like he’d been watching for a while.

“What?” you asked, your brain still catching up.

“You’re murdering your dinner,” he nodded toward your plate, “What’d that chicken ever do to you?”

You looked down and realized your fork was practically embedded in what used to be a respectable dinner. Now, it was just a mushy lump, draining what was left of your appetite. You loosened your grip and mumbled, “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Sure you are,” Sam said with a wink, his grin widening before he went back to the group discussion.

At the other end of the table, Vision said something that made Wanda laugh. It wasn’t one of those fake ones (you could honestly tell) she gave when she felt like she had to. Against your better judgment, you risked a glance. Wanda’s eyes were bright, her head tipped slightly toward him, looking positively smitten. Vision said something else, and she laughed again, this time quieter, her hand brushing her hair back behind her ear.

“God, this is pathetic,” you muttered to yourself, barely audible.

“What’s pathetic?”

Natasha this time. For someone trying to keep their head down, you were doing a terrible job. 

“Nothing,” you mumbled quickly, hoping she'd let it go. 

Of course, she didn’t. “You’re sulking like a teenager, and it’s making everyone uncomfortable. Come on,” she said.

Before you could make your defense she was already on her feet, nodding for you to follow. You hesitated for a fraction, then pushed your chair back, grateful for the excuse to leave. You could feel Wanda’s gaze on you as you stepped away from the table, Natasha leading the way out.

By the time you reached the balcony, you were ready to empty the meager contents of your stomach. You hadn’t been eating well lately, and it was starting to take a toll on your training regimen. You’ve been skipping workouts more often this week, and Natasha had been noticing that too.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked, though there’s no pressure in her tone of voice.

“Nope,” you replied, short and to the point.

Natasha shrugged, unbothered. “Suit yourself.” 

She shifted to one side of the balcony, pulling a cigarette from her back pocket and lighting it with the kind of flair that made you wonder if she smoked to think or just to piss people off.  She inhaled deeply, held it, exhaled away from you in a long, steady stream. 

You leaned against the railing, your fingers curling around the cold metal, trying to focus on the night sky rather than the conversation you knew was coming. Natasha never forced anything, but she didn’t let things go either. Not when she thought there was something worth digging into.

“This… push and pull with Wanda. It’s exhausting to watch, honestly,” she started.

You scoffed, almost exaggerating it. “I don’t know what you’re—”

“You were friends, real friends, and now you can’t even be in the same room without turning into this.”

“Into what?” you asked.

“Like a zombie, Y/N. And Wanda—or maybe Vision—is the brain you want to eat. You’re not yourself. What happened?”

“That’s ridiculous.” You bristled, looking away. “Nothing happened, okay?”

“Right. Because ‘nothing’ turns people into brooding messes who barely eat, barely train,” she countered.

You kept quiet. Natasha had no business knowing about this. If your face gave you away this evening, you were just going to have to fake it until you make it.

“Something happened, didn’t it?” Natasha said, not even bothering to disguise the accusation. “Between you two. Because this? This isn’t just awkward. It’s worse. My guess? You broke your own damn heart.”

“I don’t have—”

“A heart to break?” she cut in, rolling her eyes so hard you could practically hear them scrape against her skull. “Stop it. The more you deny it, the more it owns you. That’s how it works.”

You frowned, trying to parse where she was going with this.

“There’s a way to handle it,” she continued, exhaling smoke as if it carried some of her frustration with it. “You move on, Y/N. But, clearly, you’re doing it wrong.”

“You’re the expert now?”

“I’m saying I’ve been there,” Natasha said, taking another drag of her cigarette. “You’re stuck because you haven’t accepted the decision you made. And it’s eating you alive.”

“How do you know that I—”

“Oh, come on. Everyone knows Wanda’s been obsessed with you since she joined the team,” she said with a faint smirk. “And now she’s with Vision. It doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots. You chose something—or someone—and now you’re second-guessing yourself.”

What she said settled over you like a suffocating blanket. Natasha was right. It was the ‘what if?’ that’s been haunting you since you denied your feelings for Wanda—rather impulsively if you were being truly honest. 

“Do you… Do you think I made the right choice?”

“As much as I’d love to hand you the answer on a silver platter, I don’t have it,” Natasha said, brushing ash from the tip of her cigarette. “Only time will tell, I guess. But I will say this: you made your choice for a reason. Trust yourself on that, at least.”

Natasha pushed off the wall, brushing her hands against her pants. “Better get back inside before she comes looking for you.”

“She won’t.”

Natasha let out a dry, skeptical hum before heading back inside. You’d thought she’d dragged you out here to convince you to get Wanda back. But this was harder to swallow.

Trust yourself. 

As if it were that simple.

—

The fallout with Wanda this time was different. Different from all the other times you tried to jumpstart some version of a friendship or a co-working relationship and failed. It wasn’t the wary distance you’d both kept when she first arrived at the compound, when trust was something neither of you could afford to give. This was worse.

This was cold, deliberate. Wanda wasn’t avoiding you, not exactly. She was around, always there at team meetings, in training sessions, and the common areas. But she never acknowledged you. When she did look at you—on those rare occasions—it wasn’t to meet your eyes. It was to look through you, as if you weren’t even there.

She was always with Vision now. Rarely did you see her without him by her side. The team had started referring to them as Wanda and Vision, like they were one entity. It wasn’t, “Ask Wanda,” or, “Ask Vision.” It was, “Ask Wanda and Vision.” As if they’d merged into one seamless, perfect unit. When Vision wasn’t around, the questions still fell to Wanda, as if she spoke for him. When Wanda wasn’t around, Vision became her proxy. The separation between them had dissolved in everyone’s minds, and you hated it. Not because they didn’t deserve to be happy—no, you’d told yourself you wanted that for her. You just hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to watch it unfold right in front of you.

You told yourself you’d get used to it, that it was just a phase, but it wasn’t. It was more like a drawn-out misery you couldn’t escape. You missed her. You missed the easy banter you’d started to build before everything fell apart. You missed the way her sharp wit challenged you, the way she’d smirk when she knew she’d gotten under your skin just enough to make you react. You found yourself wondering if she still trained, if she was keeping up with the progress she’d been so proud of.

And sometimes, when you were alone in your room, you wouldn’t even turn up the music. You’d sit there in the quiet, waiting, straining to hear anything from her side of the wall. Sometimes, if you were lucky, you’d hear her playing the guitar—something she’d started doing more often in recent weeks. Most nights, though, it wasn’t the guitar you heard. It was Vision. Wanda’s voice rarely reached you, but when it did, it was laughter. Laughter that you didn’t cause, that wasn’t yours to hear anymore.

The worst of it came when they started leaving together. Late at night, when the compound had quieted down and most of the team had gone to bed, you’d hear the faint sound of their footsteps, see them heading toward the exit. You told yourself they were just walking, just talking, but you weren’t naïve. You knew what couples did late at night.

And they were a couple now.

—

You considered going back to your apartment in the city. It wasn’t far—just a few miles—but the missions were rolling in again, and timing was everything. It was easier to stay at the compound, to be ready for whatever disaster came next. Besides, throwing yourself into work was better than sitting alone in an empty apartment with your thoughts circling Wanda and Vision like vultures.

Missions came and went, and luckily, you weren’t paired with Wanda or Vision. Someone else was always available, someone else always volunteered. It was a small mercy you clung to as you poured yourself into the work. You kept yourself busy. Busier than usual. You took on every assignment thrown your way, volunteering for extra shifts, running double-time during debriefs. 

But the work didn’t just distract you—it became a way to punish yourself. You didn’t take unnecessary risks; you took reckless ones. If the odds were stacked, you went in headfirst.  It wasn’t that you wanted to get hurt—at least, not consciously—but somehow, the pain on the outside felt like the only thing that could dull the pain within.

And the wounds came. Small ones at first—a sprained wrist, a shallow cut above your brow. Then larger ones. A nasty gash along your arm during an ambush. Against protocol, you never went to the in-house medical team. You handled it yourself—bandaging wounds in your room, stitching yourself up with clenched teeth, biting down on a scrap of fabric to muffle the sounds of pain.

It was only a matter of time before your luck ran out.

—

The bullet grazed your side during a narrow escape, tearing through your jacket and slicing into your skin with brutal efficiency. You barely had time to think about it in the heat of the moment, too focused on getting out alive. But by the time you returned to the compound, the adrenaline had worn off, leaving nothing but the sharp, unrelenting pain and the blood—hot and stick— seeping through your fingers as you clutched your side.

Turning a corner, you nearly collided with Wanda, who was coming back from the gym. She was still in her workout gear, a towel slung over her shoulder, her hair pulled back, a light sheen of sweat on her skin. Her eyes darted up to meet yours, and for the first time in weeks, she didn’t look away immediately.

You managed a small nod and tacked on a weak smile for good measure. She returned the nod but the smile didn’t come. She moved to step past you, and you thought that would be the end of it.

But then you faltered—just a split-second wince as the pain surged, a grimace you couldn’t quite hide. Her steps slowed, her head turning slightly. Her eyes landed on your hand, pressed against your side, and then on the dark red stain spreading through your shirt.

“Wait,” she said sharply.  

“It’s fine,” you muttered, trudging along, trying to walk straight even though your side burned like hell.

Without a word, she turned back and then unwound the towel she had draped around her shoulders, stepping closer and pressing it firmly against your side. You jerked back at the pressure but didn’t stop her. Her hand stayed steady, though her expression betrayed none of what she might’ve been thinking. It wasn’t anger, or at least not just anger. 

“I’m calling the medic,” Wanda said.

“No,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “It’s just a graze. I don’t need the medics.”

Wanda merely glared at your wound, though you could see the tightness in her jaw, the way her lips pressed into a thin line.

“You’re bleeding through a towel,” she said flatly.

“I just need the first-aid kit,” you mumbled, glancing toward the storage room. “That’s all.”

She didn’t look at you as she asked, “Where is it?”

“Why?” you asked cautiously.

“So we can patch you up.”

We.

Did she mean you and her? Or was this some prelude to Vision walking into the hallway and the couple patching you up together? You didn’t ask, though the thought burned in the back of your mind.

“It’s just right there,” you finally said, pointing weakly toward the door a few feet away.

She didn’t move right away. Her hands stayed where they were, pressing the towel firmly against your side, applying just enough pressure to slow the bleeding but not enough to stop your brain from wondering why the hell she was doing this. Wanda had made it pretty clear she wanted nothing to do with you. A wound like this wasn’t life-threatening at all. But she was treating it like you were on death’s doorstep, making it more difficult for you to ignore the flutter of feelings you’d been working so hard to bury.

After what felt like too long, Wanda stood, releasing her grip on the towel. “I’ll get it,” she said simply. You stayed where you were, slumped against the wall. The absence of her hands left you trembling slightly, and for the first time, you really felt the weight of exhaustion pulling at you, the weakness from blood loss settling in.

Fine. Maybe you’d lost more blood than you’d let on. Maybe being stubborn about not calling the medic wasn’t your brightest move. Still, you’d had worse. This didn’t even rank in your top five.

Wanda returned a moment later, but instead of handing you the first-aid kit, she surprised you by crouching beside you and looping your arm over her shoulder. Without a word, she guided you to the storage room, half-carrying you with surprising strength. Once inside, she maneuvered you to sit on a low bench against the wall, then turned away to open a cabinet. When she crouched back down in front of you, first-aid kit in hand, she didn’t so much as glance in your direction. She snapped the lid open and laid out the supplies.

“You don’t have to do this, Wanda,” you whispered, your voice scratchy and weak, which annoyed you more than the actual wound. You were starting to feel a little loopy, unsure if this was really happening or just a dream—if you were dead somewhere else or still lost in sleep in your bed. If it were the former, you thought, it was certainly a good way to go. It made you smile without realizing it, which only seemed to make Wanda more alarmed.

Now moving with a bit more urgency, she grabbed a bottle of antiseptic and a piece of gauze, pouring the liquid onto it before pressing it against your wound unceremoniously. You hissed, waking you up a little, your hand gripping the edge of the chair as the pain flared. She didn’t acknowledge the sound, her attention fixed on cleaning the blood away.

“Stay still,” she warned after you’ve shied away too far.

When she pulled out a needle and thread, your stomach sank like a stone in dark water. “Stitches?” you muttered, though it barely qualified as a question—more of a sigh, defeated before the fight even started.

“It’s deep enough,” she reasoned, her tone leaving no room for argument. 

The first stab of the needle lit up your nerves, a white-hot jolt that ripped through your side. You sucked in air through clenched teeth, fists balled tight at your sides.

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered under your breath.

“Stop moving,” she said, her voice maddeningly calm.

You didn’t stop moving, not entirely, but you managed to keep your whimpers to a minimum as the needle went in again. And again. At some point, the pain dulled—not because it got easier, but because it started to blur, your skin either numbing or your brain deciding it had enough.

When she tied off the last one, she grabbed the bandages, wrapping them around your torso.  The bandage had to loop around your waist, and for that, she leaned in, her arms slipping behind you. She was so near that you could almost count the freckles scattered across her nose. The proximity made you hyper-aware of yourself—how you reeked of blood, smoke, and sweat, and how there was nowhere to hide from it.

And then it was over. She finished without ceremony, knotting the bandage with quick fingers before standing and turning away. For a moment, she hovered by the cabinet, her back to you, her shoulders stiff.

“Don’t make me do this again,” she murmured so quietly that you couldn’t quite decipher the emotion behind it.

Her words should’ve felt like an admonition, but instead, they landed like a plea. You weren’t sure if she was talking about the stitches or something much more complicated. And as you watched the way her shoulders sagged slightly, the way her head dipped like the fight had drained out of her, it hit you—this wasn’t easy for her either. None of it was.

“Wanda…” Her name came out too soft, like you didn’t really want her to hear it. Like you weren’t sure what you were going to say next.

“Get some rest,” she murmured, the words almost tender—

But final.

[dashiellqvverty]

my thoughts on Conclave are like. I have never been religious and know very little about the catholic church and how it Works, but this movie clearly has Something To Say about women in the church and I thought it was very compelling and effective. like, through framing and dialogue we are told that women are absolutely vital to the workings of the conclave and should have a more central role, and then are further told that most fit man to lead the church, the one who the conclave is moved by their faith to elect, is not only a man who respects and appreciates and embraces women, but a man who essentially physically contains womanhood inside of himself, for lack of better phrasing

[satocidal]

𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭“Smile for the Camera!” - Suguru Geto

Synopsis: one night really does change all - where you meet a hefty porn director Suguru and in the process of misunderstandings, you end up in his office, in the cutest maid suit.

— word count: 4.5k (i am sorry i just dk how to stop and how to start)

— a/n: this had been in my wip for so long lmao - it feels a little rushed to me but i'm also a bit rusty since it's been a while so yes lol @indiewritesxoxo you'd asked for a tag so😭hope you do like

— warnings: MDNI!!Fem Reader!! slightly manipulative! suguru, i tried to make him as gentle as i could; dumbification(?); camera; soft!dom geto; very botched representation of the porn industry; i have nothing against porn actors; masturbation; dressing up; Suguru is bisexual here, so is Satoru; reader has fem clothing; leashes and stuff; humiliation; praise kink: oral (fem rec)

The two men sat pretty and sprawled, Suguru Geto, head director of the freefuckforall website, along with Satoru Gojo, the website's longest running and most loyal actor.

“The industry is getting boring,” Satoru rolled his head, eyes closed, words directed towards his best friend who sat across from him on the couch.

Suguru only smirked, eyes stuck and watching every moving slide with lucrative detail - “I’ve been telling you, start filming sex with men, you already have it - just film it, more money, more opportunity,”

Satoru only giggled to himself - the boyish nature somehow suiting his towering self, "you know i have a different sort of fanbase - full of perverts who like seeing me fill up a cunt,"

He popped in his mouth the last of his grapes, eyes hazy as he looked at Suguru, “besides, what for? To fulfill your wretched fantasies? You already act as half a cuck anyways,” 

Suguru snorted along, shutting his laptop then and getting up to stretch, “a. develop a new fanbase then, those who'd like watching you get your ass stuffed, b. someone has to edit and direct, no? Lest you want people to see all the clips where you lie all fucked out - which would fall in common with your new style if you try it,”

The story was so fresh in both their heads - that one time Satoru had been reduced from his cocky self to a pleading and begging mess as the girl rode him - it took a lot of convincing (read: sex and treats) from Satoru before Suguru agreed to keep his ego intact.

Satoru just pouted, reaching over to grab Suguru’s share of snacks - having finished his own, “that was one time - and that girl was such an amateur, just started going at it suddenly,” 

“And the might Satoru, the amazing porn star couldn’t take it,” Suguru teased, his voice a low drawl, “but eh, it’s true, i don’t have fun filming the same shit over and over myself - it’s all repetitive,”

“Any new projects then?” Satoru asked, popping a grape in his mouth, Suguru grinned and shook his head - “not for you, but...I’ve got this new chick, she’s cute,” 

Satory raised a brow now, “cute like…date cute or cute like new fuck and more bucks?”

“Both,” Suguru grinned, “met her last night, at a party - seemed a little slow at first, she was awfully innocent,” he laughed, and Satoru did too.

“So the corruption kind huh,” 

They laughed again.

“I called her for a meeting today, said she had a dream for modelling, wanted a breakthrough in the industry - well, not this industry but..yeah,”

Satoru smirked, “you lied? How’d ya’ get her to agree?”

But Satoru knew all too well how Suguru got girls to agree, especially your kind - a few smiles, a few drinks, a little back story about himself and a little attention sprinkled, as gentle as he could be, Satoru really couldn’t remember any girl who had denied him a second date.

“Didn’t lie or nothin’...just told her i’m a director, we shoot a bit…unorthodox but it is what it is and makes good money, she couldn’t see an issue there,” he laughed.

Satoru did too - it wasn’t a lie, nor the truth.

“When’s she coming?”

Suguru checked his watch, smirked, “15 minutes, better get going then,” he grabbed his phone and laptop, ready to reach his office.

“And when would she really come?” Satoru egged on, with a grin. “Well they usually get wet by the time the camera begins anyway so…” Suguru grinned as he stepped out of the lounge and towards his office, where you were already seated.

-

The buzz felt alive, it made him feel alive.

Another wink to some girl he’d been gazing at - another sleazy line whispered in the ear of a boy who’d been grinding against him all night, none would accompany him to his mansion, he revelled in that itself.

Suguru focused on a waving hand - Shoko’s, he smiled softly at her, striding over to her, “yes ma’am?” he grinned, watching her down her drink.

“Wanna meet someone?” she said simply - a little flicker of a smile on her face. “Like a date?” he asked, before following her regardless, he knew better than to question.

And that’s where he saw you, a sight, he deemed you instantly.

A mini skirt you’d on, and a little top - just a tease - clearly out of your zone as you sipped on your-whatever-drink, eyes instead, drinking into the crowd, obviously searching for Shoko.

“Her?” Suguru asked, leaning down to Shoko’s ear, “sure?” 

A hint of worry seeped into his voice - girls like you often proved to be tough to work with, a little silly, always nervous around his work space and huge cry-babies.

Shoko grinned in response - she’d been tasked weeks ago to find Suguru a new girl for his pieces, a new face, some new energy to spice things up.

What he hadn’t expected was that she’d find someone so…inexperienced with his workspace, clearly.

Well, of course Suguru could tell who was and wasn’t - the director in him was keen, very keen — he saw money shots before one could even consider one.

And just like that, introduced to Suguru Geto you were, a nervous smile, yours and a smirk, his.

-

One drink, three and then a total of five, the bartender merely glanced up as he passed suguru’s bill to him, you sat beside him, all giggly now.

“How much do i…?” you slurred - a grin on your face, Suguru chuckled, “don’t worry darlin’ - got ya’ covered,”

You smiled wide at that, “you’re so nice - at first i was scared of you,” you confessed innocently, promptly, making his grin almost wolfish now.

“Tell me,” he nudged, hand leading you through the crowd so gently, to a secluded spot in the club, to the couch, “what did you think, hm?” 

His voice was smooth, his touch smoother - comforting and yet, you’d felt on the edge the entire night.

And yet, Suguru had nothing but sweet all night, not a single touch that went wrong, not a single gaze that was lifted wrong - just a long ear offered as you spoke and spoke, about work and life, obviously you'd needed this little escape.

Shoko has been gone ever since she introduced you to this gentleman.

“I thought…I thought…” you slowly had your eyes meet his, a flicker of confusion in them now, “i’m still thinking, what do you…do?” you asked - rightfully so - even if you did jump the conversation all too sudden for his taste.

Something he'd been avoiding all night, respite the true intentions of this meeting.

However, You’d bared your days and nights already - a huge mouth that you had, all under the drink of course, otherwise, the sober you was biting your lip beside him so hard that he was afraid you’d bleed.

And all you’d learned about him was that he was named Suguru Geto, and his friend was Shoko, all details shared by Shoko.

Suguru smiled, considering how much to share, “I’m a director,” he mused, watching your eyes widen, “yeah? I always wanted to become a model,” your tone was almost excited,  “what kinda’ director?” you asked next, he shrugged casually.

“Here and there, ya’know?”

You shook your head in a no, he smiled softly and slowly helped you out of the club, it was getting late anyways.

-

You both stood outside, his car was right there in the parking.

“Rather have me drive you home doll? Or do I get you an uber? Whatever makes you feel better but…” his words trailed off as your fingers tugged at him partially from the cold and partially from the many people lined outside the club, “...i think it’s better i drop you, yeah?”

And so, that’s what he did - civic duty? Maybe; Did he find you adorable and wanted to hear you talk more? Definitely.

As you climbed in his car, he hummed - mind unsure but he didn't want to let the shtick drop just yet, “you asked what kinda’ director, yeah?”

You nodded in your seat, as he fixed your seat belt, hands brushing against your plush skin, you licked your lips at the contact, he did too.

“Well, it is a bit…unorthodox,” he said, lips pursed, debating if it was okay - if he wanted to drag you in, “how desperate are you, to be in the industry doll?”

He asked softly, as the car revved, somehow you felt your cheeks heating up, “uhm…it’s like…a dream, i - well, not very ambitious but…if a chance,” you stammered out, he couldn’t help but chuckle, deepening the warmth you felt.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said as he nodded to the directions you gave him for your house, “why don’t you drop by at my office tomorrow hm? You can come, see the work and all, and if you are interested, why not? Shoko will have you filled in with the details, yeah?”

You could only nod, after all, this gentleman wouldn’t be an issue, right?

-

A deep breath inhaled, a lot of regret exhaled.

You flinched every time you heard footsteps approaching, you recoiled every time a moan sounded out from one of the adjacent rooms.

You were officially in a porn-making-building-or-whatever-those-are, wearing the shortest, sluttiest outfit you ever had on - the little maid suit that Shoko had handed you right as you left the house.

“Don’t peek, it’s a surprise,” she’d reminded, and you just complied - like an idiot.

Because now, seated in this dingy office that you were, posters of porn-actresses and actors, you were sure you’d seen some of them a couple of times yourself - until, your eyes panned to the logo of the website in the corner of one of them.

Officially in the office of the biggest porn website - all because a stranger asked you to.

The previous night was fresh in your eyes - well, not really, but the regret was.

What were you even thinking? Letting a random man drive you? Coming to meet him? Talking to him about your work and life?

Perhaps, nothing.

What were you thinking when the said man actually walked into his office? With his busy footsteps and a gaze that meant business now, last night you’d thought everything else - with his charming face and laptop which would essentially also hold your file in a while?

Nothing, you really couldn’t fathom a single thought to be exact.

“Ms….l/n, is it?” he read from his sheet - pretense - yours was the only appointment he’d scheduled for that day, cancelling all others. He didn’t bother eyeing you properly, but he knew well, about how enticing you did look.

He smiled, the same smile, more twisted now, “why hello, nice seeing your pretty self again,” he said with a grin, you could only nod.

You let a small silence etch between the two of you, unacceptable, Suguru opened his laptop promptly.

“How was the ride over? All comfortable? My…” he said in almost disdain, “you haven’t even been offered water? How long have you been-”

“-why didn’t you tell me it is all this?”

The disgust was so evident in your voice, he almost felt bad.

Almost.

He hummed, “I did mention it is unorthodox…”

“How dare you assume i’m into all this - what the fuck?” you muttered, ashamed by just entertaining the thought of you being a pornstar.

“Assume what? That you would want to work in the porn industry?” he smirked, all business now, “you really can’t tell with people and then,” he rolled the cuffs of his shirt’s sleeves now, “the innocent ones like you are often the biggest whores,”

He seemed amused, you seemed tense.

You huffed, “fucking whatever - i don’t…i’m not the kind of girl… and - and this dress? Goodness it is so…” a scowl on your face finished the rest.

Suguru couldn’t blame you.

Geto shrugged, a hand raised, gesturing to the door, “very well then, you can always walk out, i understand, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea…” 

All bluff, the confidence, the flair, all bluff - he wanted you, ever since last night.

You got up, right on cue, all bluff as well, you wanted to play the gamble.

“It’s a shame…” Suguru mumbled, “shame indeed,” you did too.

His eyes narrowed as you turned, eyes dipping then to take an appreciative glance at your ass, “tell you what?” He took a deep breath.

It felt desperate, it was.

“Let me take your profiles, yeah? You’ll get it for free - by a professional of course, just compensation for all the trouble,” he shot you a smile, you gulped.

“I…i’m not sure…it was - last night, just a lot of babbling, i don’t think i’m cut for…you know? And then this outfit also…”

You weren’t sure how a smile appeared on your lips so easily when you’d been pissed the moment you realised what he’d called you for, but it did.

He shrugged again, “just some pictures doll - and who doesn’t like dressing up, yeah? I’ve got plenty more for you to choose from,” he licked his lips, eyes boring into you, you could only nod.

-

“Tilt your pretty face a little to the right, please,” you gulped, still in that maid outfit - which was now being used to its full potential, the top was half open, you were on a steel chair that felt so cold against your flushed skin, and sitting right under the spotlight - while the director sat behind his camera, not rolling, nothing, just making assessments now.

Your profiles had been done half an hour ago, the photos had been sent too, it was a little job for Suguru, you were so compliant after all, following every instruction to the dot.

Which is why it had been harder for him to resist this.

After the pictures you were served drinks again, all hefty smiles and silly conversations - about porn of course. He told you everything, how he’d shot this shot, how long the process goes, how sweet you look, and how cute you are.

“Why don’t you just show me off once again, yeah? Just…so I can see, take inspiration?”

And ever the generous that you were, ever the charming as he was, somehow, you once again found yourself at a loss for no.

Which was how you’d ended up finally, in this position.

“Press your breasts together please…i want to…ah yes,” he murmured as you did what he asked for, albeit with a gulp, it felt so weird.

In front of a camera, his gaze on your every move, and he sounded so professional, dressed well too. And then there was you, just a built in thong with that dress, the top had a sheer torso, your side boob seemed so tantalising to him.

Your nipples had hardened just as well, it was just so cute, matched with your nervousness.

-

Your top lay now open - still on, after all Suguru wouldn’t ask you to do anything out of your comfort zone, right? On the monitor suguru only watched you fidget with your fingers on your thighs, smoothening the hem of the short dress as if it would help - provide some modesty.

Top open, thighs spread - a sheen of sweat from the small humid room and face hotter than ever - hair messy and eyes now dazed, Suguru had halted with his instructions for the moment, and you -? 

You continued staring at his fingers, thoughts ran rogue - you wondered if he’d ever been on camera himself, if he’d used those skilled hands for something other than recording, if he was anything close to as long and thick as his fingers - you looked away.

shameless.

The room went quieter then, just a slight buzz, Suguru stared at his screen with eyes furrowed, “hm..i don’t know, it’s not working out very well,” he said - tone regretful, your face jocked to the side. “What? …why?” 

Suguru wanted to coo at your simplicity - so bothered, he then got up, “you were correct, it’s not for girls like you,”

Such an insult it seemed, an unknowing pout fell on your lips, you got up too, your shorter frame moving slowly towards Suguru, the skirt was so short and given the humidity, it clung to your curves perfectly now - “can i…” you licked your lips, see? 

You wanted to ask that simply but refrained, too shy of his disappointment and too prude to watch yourself.

And thus the secret of the fact that Suguru was recording nothing of you displaying yourself so shamelessly remained all but a secret.

“I’ll…oh, i’ll do whatever you ask,” you ended up muttering - exactly how he wanted to have you.

“You can’t…” he just muttered, not even trying anymore, just a small smirk as he stared at you - all aware of that raging boner in his pants, hidden only because of the dark, all aware that just a glance down would show your pretty tits, all so aware.

“I can,” you said determined this time, “it’s only for your inspiration…right? And if they do come out good…it might help somewhere,” you licked your lips, now he touched you, your cheek - his hands felt warm, sweaty.

Oh but it would help somewhere indeed.

“You sure doll? Wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,”

It felt patronizing, the smile - the eyes, he knew you  wouldn’t say no, he knew exactly how he’d sprawl you.

“So well…” he sighed deeply and then looked you up and down, “take the blouse off actually, please, go in back to the seat,” he spoke smoothly.

And you did just that.

You sat there - breasts, soft peaks - your gasps softer still, all exposed to his skillful eyes, “atta girl,” he murmured, smiling now - finally.

“Play with yourself - don’t be shy okay? Forget i’m here…”

You licked your lips…play…?

If you’d have told Shoko yesterday that you would be found half naked in the office of a man you’d found about 12 hours ago, she’d laugh in your face.

And so you began, hands cupping your tits, fingers sinking into the pliant flesh, they felt so full now - your face scrunched in focus as you tried to make it appear as sexy as possible.

“Perfect, jus’ like that…” suguru encouraged, a gulp of his own drawn - the camera finally began shooting, he couldn’t help himself after all.

your hands  - all over the swell of your breasts, slender fingers kneading and squeezing the flesh, you massaged them, slowly drawing circles around your nipples. 

“Pinch them,” he ushered from front of you, moving the camera closer now, moving towards you - he could tell with your hesitation, you were still nervous.

Your eyes remained stuck on him, so wide as he moved closer to capture your hardened nipples - “so cute,” he mumbled as you flicked them, “you play with your tits often doll?”

“N–no i…well,” you looked away shyly - only so long, Suguru had his fingers grip your jaw quickly, forcing you to look into the camera.

“Rule no. 1: always face the camera,” you nodded, he patted your cheek with a slight smirk, “go on, maybe imagine me…mm’hmm, imagine i was squeeziin’ those pretty tits, yes…”

He smiled - almost proud as you finally closed your eyes, a soft inhale as your back arched, chest obscenely jutting out - same ministrations, much hotter.

And just when you moaned - he paused the recording, “ok enough of this, get up.”

Swift you moved - feeling the shyness coat you again, he himself placed the camera down momentarily - jogging back to his table to grab you a new fabric, bright pink - shorter, skimpier.

“Wear this now, like it better than the last one?” it was small playboy bunny suit, the little bunny ears gave it away - and the tail of course.

“If it is okay by you, of course…you’re already doing so good,” he drawled and then without a word - his own hands latched t your boobs, pressing them softly - feeling them, “mmhmm, so pretty,” you gasped as he pinched your left nipple.

He continued fondling your boobs - as you stumbled a little, his practiced hand held you tight as he switched between your two boobs perfectly - teasing just so perfectly.

And when he did pull away, his fingers had you so sore - you could practically beg.

“Ready to change?” he added with a small smile - chuckling to himself as your eyes cast him a desperate look - exactly as they all did.

He handed you the costume, eyeing you expectantly, and you looked around - for the changing room.

“Uh…here?” your voice was squeakier than you’d have preferred, he laughed, “well don’t be silly,” he booped your nose then, “it’s a small office for me - of course, no changing room.”

So whatever else remained of your little shame, you pulled that down just as swiftly as you pulled the maid-skirt off, aware of just how Suguru stared.

And he did so with utmost detail, he took not of just how your slick clung to the gusset of the built in panties - of how cute you looked, trying to hide yourself, of pretty your entire body was, of how stiff his pants felt and of how he wanted to absolutely eat you up from how adorable you looked.

And he made a mental note of definitely not posting that recording anywhere.

The bodice of the suit was flattering to say the least - the pesky heart cut out for the breasts barely contained anything, and Suguru made you give him a twirl too, only to watch the little tail bounce on the curve of your ass.

“Now…i want you to get on the floor, all okay?” he asked - not caring any longer, “get down and spread your legs f’me,”

The camera was up once again, capturing every detail, the shiny suit and the way you sprawled out.

“I want you to touch yourself - forget that i’m here or we’re recording, okay? Play with that lil’ cunt for me - please?” he added the please with a little pout - as if it would solve the issue at hand.

“T- touch myself?” you echoed, eyeing him now, “isn’t that…oh it’s…”

“Too much? I get it,” suguru was quick to file in - so easy to make you think otherwise, “as i said…you’re not cut for this,”

You sighed - not wanting to prove him right and closed your eyes, “uh…okay but…fuck, okay,” you caved in, suguru wanted to kiss you deeply to comfort you instantly, to tell you that he would be the only one who got to fuck his fist while watching this recording.

But he didn’t, at the moment at least.

Thus you began again, this time your fingers on your clothed sex, rubbing slow - deliberate circles, eyes closed and mind focusing, the camera was set, Suguru simply sat aside and rubbed his own bulge, muttering little praises for you every minute.

Five minutes in and the shiny pink fabric of the bunny suit had ridden up, exposing a tantalizing glimpse of your inner thighs. Suguru felt his mouth go dry at the sight, his heart pounding in his chest.

"That's it, sweetheart," he encouraged, his voice a low, intimate murmur. "Now, I want you to start rubbing yourself faster through the fabric. Slowly, teasingly. Pretend it's my hand touching you, stroking you, making you feel good."

It was a stretch, using his name to get you off - but he knew it wouldn’t fail, never did.

Suguru watched as your hand moved between your legs repeatedly, fingers brushing faster over the front of the bunny suit. He could see the fabric beginning to dampen, to darken as your arousal grew. The sight made his cock throb, straining against the confines of his pants.

"That's my good girl," he praised, his voice a low, approving rumble. "Keep rubbing yourself, doll. Imagine it's my fingers teasing your pussy, my thumb circling your clit. I want to see you get yourself nice and wet for me."

He watched, enraptured as the camera continued recording, as your fingers moved more deliberately now, rubbing yourself more firmly through the damp fabric. 

Your breathing grew heavier, chest rising and falling more rapidly as you lost yourself in the sensation.

"Fuck, you look so sexy like that," Suguru growled, his own hand moving faster to palm his aching cock through his pants. "Don't stop, baby. Keep touching yourself, keep teasing yourself for me. I want to see you get so fucking wet, so ready for me."

Suguru watched, transfixed, as your fingers moved, your hips beginning to rock against your  own touch. 

You dared not to look into the camera - or at suguru, “go on, get yourself to cum for me doll,” he called out - eyeing the way your fingers moved more frantically - eyeing the way your breath was more ragged.

But as the minutes ticked by, Suguru began to sense something was off. 

Your touches - more frantic; breathing - more labored,and  yet the telltale signs of an impending orgasm were nowhere to be seen. Your cheeks were flush with exertion and frustration, brows furrowed as you gritted your teeth.

And just like that, Suguru's patience began to wear thin. 

He had expected you to pick up easily - but obviously, your shyness just got the better of you.

Because here you were, struggling, failing to deliver the intense, authentic performance he craved. Irritation flashed in his purple eyes as he watched you, his grip tightening on the camera mic.

"Fuck, y/n," he called, his voice a low, annoyed rumble. "What's taking so long? You should be done by now doll, not just... come on- don’t toy with yourself halfheartedly."

He watched as you tried to pick up the pace, her fingers moving at a frenzied speed, the wet spot on your bunny suit growing larger, darker. But still, no release came. Suguru clenched his jaw, his cock twitching - begging to be the help you desperately craved.

"Dammit, you're not trying hard enough," he snapped, his patience finally snapping. 

With a harsh curse, Suguru ripped off his headphones and stormed out from behind the camera. He marched over to where you sat, panting and flushed, her fingers still moving weakly between her thighs.

"Enough," he barked, grabbing your wrist and yanking your hand away. "Get your fingers out of there. I'm going to show you how it's done- can’t manage nothing without me, huh?"

You looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and a flicker of shame grappling back at you -  But there was also a glimmer of excitement, of anticipation, at the thought of Suguru finally taking control.

And as promised Suguru didn't waste any time. He dropped to his knees in front of you, pushing your legs further apart, exposing the soaked crotch of the bunny suit to his hungry gaze. Without hesitation, he leaned in and pressed his mouth against the damp fabric, his tongue laving over your clothed slit.

"Ohhh!" you gasped out loud, your back arching off the floor at the sudden, intense sensation - fingers moving to grip his hair.

Suguru was quick still, to move the crotch of your suit aside - tongue lapping on your slick folds.

Suguru groaned against her, “shit, been thinkin’ bout’ this cunt since last night,” the vibrations of his voice did none but to add to the incredible stimulation. He could taste your arousal through the thin   drenched fabric anyways, but what fun would that be ? he could smell the heady scent of your desire. It spurred him on, making him lick and suck at your clit harder, more insistently.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he muttered, his words muffled against her pussy. "I bet you're just aching to come, aren't you, baby? Desperate for release? See…told ya’ you’re perfect for this,"

He punctuated his words with a hard suck on your clit, making you cry out, your fingers scrabbling for purchase on the smooth studio floor. Suguru could feel your thighs beginning to tremble, your hips starting to buck against his mouth as he ate you out with wild abandon.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his voice a low, approving growl. "Let go. Come for me. I want to feel you fucking explode in my mouth. Want you on record as you lose yourself."

He sealed his lips around your clit and sucked hard, his tongue flicking rapidly over the sensitive nub. 

At the same time, he pushed a finger under the crotch of the bunny suit, rubbing your bare, slick folds, stroking your inner walls.

"Ahhh! Oh god, Suguru!" you choked, your voice echoing off the studio walls. Your body went rigid, muscles locking up as the intense pleasure crested over you. 

Suguru groaned in satisfaction, feeling your juices gushing against his finger, soaking the bunny suit even more. He lapped at you greedily, not letting a single drop of your juices go to waste.

For a minute, neither spoke - as he allowed you to catch your breath - “well, that would make…one hell of a video,” he finally muttered, picking you up along side him, “you okay doll?” he confirmed once, smiling when you nodded.

He sat you down on his chair now - behind the camera as he paused the recording again, “i won’t post it, i just…well, it’s shady but you did say you …i mean,”

You hadn’t known him long - but it felt cute to see him fumble, “it’s okay - i…i liked it,” you said shyly and he grinned - “what will you do with it then?” you asked quietly as he handed you water.

“later use of course…” he chuckled, “you want a copy?” he laughed again when you nodded.

“Say…ready for round two…without that badboy?” he referred to his camera - “with handcuffs and chains maybe?”

You could only giggle at his suggestive eye brow raise.

All of this work is original and entirely my own—please refrain from copying or reposting.

Likes and Reblogs highly appreciated!

[81pastrys]

Their Mechanic

Summary— Lando has a mechanic, but when she isn’t available her ditsy brother’s work needs fixing.

Warnings— bad flirting

A/n— I have more parts (that need revision)

Series parts: 1 / ?

I walk into work, pull my shades up, and see the cars ready for work. My dad sees me and throws the keys at me. “Norris wants you to work on his car today.” He said. “He’s out back waiting. Be on time.”

I usually am on time. I gave myself a treat last night and went drinking. I roll my eyes and set my keys down along with my coffee. I walk out the back before changing and see my MVC. “Back so soon?” I ask.

“Well, you didn’t work on my baby last time.” He smiled. “When you don’t work on her, something ends up wrong.”

“Sounds about right.” I shrug. He popped the hood, and I leaned in. “What was supposed to be fixed?”

“One of the pistons.” He said, leaning on a wall and crossing his arms. I look in the car more and realize I haven’t changed.

“Let me change, and I’ll look in more detail,” I mention tossing his keys back. I go to my locker, swap shirts, and throw my sunglasses in the locker before locking it. I walk back out with a rag and stuff it halfway into my cargo pants. “Mind if I ask who ‘fixed’ it last?” I ask, throwing my hair in a messy pony.

“Ahh, your brother.” He smiled at me. “Seems the genes are only strong in you.”

“He’s ditsy sometimes,” I mention. “Gotta ask for me or my dad.”

“Yeah, I learned that the hard way.” He laughed.

“She can be yours in about an hour,” I say, finalizing my exam of the car. “Did you want a drink?”

“I would’ve never thought you’d be interested in me like that.” He asked jokingly, taken aback.

“I mean a water No-wins.” I joke back, smiling.

“It’s three now, can’t call me that.” He corrected, heading towards the lobby.

I work on his car and return to the lobby, grabbing a clipboard, marking things off, and handing it back to my mom to calculate. “Discount it; he was just here last week, Ma,” I say.

“Discounted prices aren’t going to get you laid.” She mumbled. I slap her arm and laugh. She knows my suppressed feelings for the man.

“Out of all of his options, he’d never.” I joke back with her. Lando realized we were talking about him and joined the conversation.

“Talking about me Trouble?” He asked while ripping the tag off the key ring.

“Calculating the price for the work I do so well.” I smile and give him a wink.

“You know my friends need a good mechanic.” He said. “Care to tend to them for me?”

“Tell them to ask for me, or they’ll get ditsy work.” I laugh, and it’s my mom’s turn to slap my arm. “What? He’s better at oil changes and inspection checks.”

“He’s your brother.” She said. I roll my eyes and wish Lando farewell

Lmk what you think 😊

[notlongtolove]

suddenly, here it is

it’s sunday. his rest day. he used to protest—murmuring something about loving the sight of you when he woke up—but three sundays in, waking to coffee in your hand and the cat curled against your hip, he’d had nothing left to argue with.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)

genre: fluff

content: reader and spencer spending a sunday morning together with their lovely little boy (cat), domestic fluff and bliss

word count: 1.8k

note: entry for the lovely @gold-onthe-inside's 1k event aaa congrats pookie! finally some fluff to get you through the drought. angst flood incoming. weee also mugi makes a reappearance. a line: His voice is unbearably soft, the telltale sign of Sleepy Spencer slipping in. It’s pure warmth, all gooey and loose.

I waited so long for love and suddenly, here it is standing in the garden, hands full of heirlooms hot from the sun. Soon we’ll make a supper of them. Salted slabs between slices of bread. Your beard silvers. My hips ripen. The mail piles up. - joy sullivan

You wake to warm breaths against your neck as Spencer sleeps heavy behind you, pressed against your form. It’s sweet, in theory. In practice, the warmth that emanates from him makes it unbearable. You last maybe two seconds before you’re peeling yourself away, kicking off the covers with a sigh. Spencer stirs, hand twitching against the sheets before settling again. 

It’s Sunday. His rest day. Something you enforced, because watching him drag himself out of bed before dawn every day had started to feel like a crime. He used to protest—murmuring something about loving the sight of you when he woke up—but three Sundays in, waking to coffee in your hand and the cat curled against your hip, he’d had nothing left to argue with.

You slip into the kitchen to set the kettle on and Mugi meows at you from his perch. It takes a bit of wrangling to scoop him into your arms, but he settles soon enough, purring in your arms. Coffee and cat in tow, you make your way back to the bedroom, where Spencer has reached an arm out toward your side of the bed in an unconscious attempt to hold on to the last bits of your presence. 

Released from your arms, Mugi instinctively jumps onto the bed. He stretches once before padding over to Spencer, curling into the space where his face is pressed into his arm. Spencer hums in his sleep, content. 

Mugi shifts only a millimetre as you slide back under the covers. Just enough to prove a point. Little menace. Your boyfriend might be an early bird, but you’re a night owl through and through—the three-hour screen time report from last night would agree. The only reason you’re even upright right now is love. Love for him, love for caffeine before 10 am, though you’re more than happy to let Spencer believe the former. Besides, this way, you get to regulate his sugar intake at least one day a week. A small but meaningful victory, considering the sheer amount of sugar he insists on pouring into his coffee.

You’re pretty sure he’s caught on—the slight pause after his first sip consistently gives him away—but he’s too much of a sap to call you out on it. S’perfect, baby, murmured against your cheek, warm and easy, before he goes in for another (reluctant) sip.

His hand fumbles blindly across the sheets in search of you, landing a little too close to Mugi’s face. The cat swats at him in protest, but Spencer simply redirects, hand sliding across the mattress until he finds your hip. He sighs, satisfied. You smile. 

You have a theory. A hypothesis, if you will. Elementary, perhaps, but Spencer once explained that a theory is any well-substantiated explanation for a phenomenon, supported by a significant body of evidence from observation and experimentation. So, you believe this stands as a theory too. 

And you have a theory that Spencer Reid is touchy.

Gasps from the crowd. The hypochondriac? The germaphobe? The man who once rattled off a statistic about how handshakes transfer more germs than kisses? 

Touch-starved? Impossible. 

But as his girlfriend, you see what no one else does. Or more specifically, feel. Hips pressed together as you stand at the sink, toothbrushes clinking against porcelain, eyes meeting in the mirror as you giggle through foamy mouths. In bed, where your legs drape over his as he reads from your Kindle—an indulgence he initially abhorred but tolerated for the sake of convenience. One hand balances the device, the other, absentminded, traces the curve of your thigh. 

Because, as your theory suggests, Spencer Reid needs to be touching you at all times.

And right now, the evidence is overwhelmingly in your favour. 

You start small. A simple shift, moving your hip from his hand and crossing your legs. Even in sleep, Spencer adjusts instinctively, lifting his hand to accommodate your movement. It hovers as he waits. When you don’t return to him, you catch the quietest little grumble escape his throat.

He doesn’t say anything. But under the sheets, his leg inches forward until his shin nudges against your ankle.

You bite back a grin.

A few minutes pass. You roll onto your side, pretending to check your phone, and like clockwork, Spencer shifts too. This time, with a sigh through his nose like he’s accepting some great burden. Blindly following your warmth, his arm drapes over your waist before you can stop him.

Alright. Upping the stakes.

You scoop Mugi into your arms, shifting again, knees tucking to your chest entirely as you cradle the cat against you. Mugi lets out a long, slow yawn but ultimately settles, eyes already slipping shut. Spencer, however, is not as easily appeased. One eye cracks open, heavy-lidded and suspicious, before he closes it again.

“I know what you’re doing,” he murmurs sluggishly. 

You blink down at him. “I’m not doing anything,” you say, all innocently. “I’m simply showing our son some love.”

“Yes. And he looks really appreciative of it.”

Mugi lets out a soft meow—more out of obligation than anything—before blinking at Spencer with the deadpan stare of a cat who is completely unbothered.

“You’re being mean,” Spencer mumbles. His voice is unbearably soft, the telltale sign of Sleepy Spencer slipping in. It’s pure warmth, all gooey and loose.

You hum, shifting just enough to let his fingers brush against your thigh. An unspoken truce.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right, just like how you have no idea why my coffee tastes like it’s sweetened with a single grain of sugar?” 

“Mhm. Exactly like that.” 

Spencer exhales, something between fond and exasperated, before shifting closer, fluffing the covers as he moves. The slight disruption is all Mugi needs as he takes that as his cue to leave, hopping off the bed with a soft thump before padding back to his perch without so much as a glance back.

You gasp, scandalised. “Now look what you did. You chased him off. You’re a horrible dad—”

Before you can get another word out, Spencer’s fingers curl around your wrist, tugging you forward with a slow, deliberate pull until you’re nose to nose.

“I know, I know. I’m horrible, aren’t I?” His voice is still drowsy, edged with sleep—It’s truly gooey warmth in every syllable. “Imagine wanting to cuddle my girlfriend first thing in the morning. What kind of monster does that?”

You try to huff sternly, but the effect is somewhat ruined by the way his thumb brushes absently against your neck, slow and steady. “It took two whole tuna crunchies to get him off the cat condo. I hope you’re satisfied with yourself."

Spencer makes a noise of deep consideration before burying his face into the curve of your shoulder, sighing deeply. “Mm. Forgive me, but I am very satisfied with having to settle for you instead.” His legs tangle with yours beneath the sheets, warmth blooming everywhere your skin meets. His hand splays against your back, fingers tracing slow, absentminded patterns. 

You sigh, long-suffering but half-hearted, making no effort to pull away. “I suppose I can allow that.”

“Allow that?” Spencer pulls back just enough to level you with a sleepy smirk. “Is that how we’re playing it now? I suppose I’ll allow it if Hotch needs me in today, I do have some case files to finish up—”

“You wouldn’t dare!” you gasp, immediately swatting at him, half-faking an attempt to sit up.

Spencer barely budges, catching your wrist with ridiculous ease and tugging you right back down. “I’d never abandon you or our son on a Sunday,” he chuckles. A quiet nod to the rule you’d cemented ages ago—that Sundays belonged to the three of you—and only the three of you. “As much as he apparently hates us.”

You roll your eyes, tilting your head toward the open bedroom door, where Mugi now sits perched on the couch, tail flicking in slow, deliberate disinterest. “He loves us, and you know it,” you argue, rubbing slow circles into Spencer’s forearm where you previously smacked him lightly. “He’s just in his teenage angst phase right now.”

“Aren’t you, Mugi?” you call, voice dripping with mock offence.

Mugi blinks at you. Then, in the most deliberate display of apathy, turns his entire body away, facing the wall instead.

Spencer snorts, shaking his head into your shoulder. “Yeah. He’s definitely real fond of us.”

You laugh, tipping your head back against the pillow, and Spencer takes the opening immediately, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your collarbone.

“Instead of wrangling an already clearly reluctant cat, we could just stay like this, cuddling all day, if you want,” he murmurs, lips still pressed against your skin. 

“Tempting,” you admit, stretching just enough to press a kiss to his jaw where your lips drag against the rough edge of stubble. “But I think I’d like some coffee first,” you say, already reaching over to your nightstand where the coffee has no doubt, gone cold. 

Before you even move an inch, Spencer shifts, pressing more of his weight into you, arms tightening around your frame, effectively pinning you beneath him. “Mm. No. Bad idea," he murmurs, muffled against your shoulder. “If I let you up, you’ll abandon me for at least five minutes, and I don’t think I can handle that kind of heartbreak right now.”

You laugh, squirming, but he’s relentless.

“Spencer.”

“Nope.”

He begins launching a full-scale attack—kisses pressed everywhere but your lips. Quick, fleeting, feather-light. A kiss to your cheek, your nose, your eyelid. There’s no real pattern, all soft and scattered and insistent, and by the time he gets to your temple, you’re giggling, hopelessly resigned to your fate.

“Are you done now?” you manage between laughs, breathless, as he plants another to the corner of your jaw. 

“Never.” His lips graze the shell of your ear. “Could do this all day if you’d let me. Would do this all day—”

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?” you cut in, fingers sliding up the nape of his neck, settling there with gentle intent.

“Hm, never heard that one before.”

“Shocking,” you quip, fingers threading into his curls, tugging just enough so he leans down, nose nudging against yours before he presses a kiss to your lips—

“Ow!”

Mugi, wide awake, has apparently decided that now, after an entire morning of pretending you both don’t exist—is the perfect time to show affection, rubbing himself insistently against Spencer’s forearm. He meows, triumphant, before padding around in a deliberate little circle and curling up—right between your pillows.

You giggle, nudging Spencer lightly. “You think we have room for one more?”

Your boyfriend groans in response, dramatically flopping onto his back. “What an ass,” he huffs, wholly unamused. 

You’re already reaching over to scratch behind Mugi’s ears, delighted to have your little boy back to his affectionate self, even if it’s only for a fleeting moment. “Oh, come on, you love him.”

Spencer exhales, resigned. “I suppose I’ll allow it.”

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ hi if you're here! thank you so much for reading! likes, comments or reblogs are very much appreciated!

ᯓ★ song recs if you feel like it: falling in love by cigarettes after sex when you know by neck deep (my attempt at converting everyone into a neck deep fan)

[nosyrobin]

Nerdy Tactics

————————

Yandere!Batboys Highschool AU

Prologue | I.Riding Pays | II. The Gray Side | IV. Lucky Artistic Charm

Previous… on the Yandere!Batboys

You jolted up to see a boy with neat fringe hair cut, and nerdish glasses. He looked at you with softness, his hand lifting up to wave at you. You swore you could see a small bit of blush on his pale cheeks. There stood the Wayne brother of this class.

Tim Drake.

Present time. Time: 8:10 am. Date: Wednesday , 7th, 20XX.

You stared at Tim in shock before you looked away from him. The boy frowns as he sits next to you, “Hey… Y/N? Is something wrong?” He quizzes as he places his hand again onto your shoulder.

You tensed up as memories blared into your brain.

Blood, blood all over his hands as he grabs you along with a small brown skinned boy who stranded by him.

“We had to do this for you… they aren’t perfect like we are for you.” The voice says, echoing in your head. The last thing you felt was something inserted into your neck.

You snapped out of your thoughts when Tim kept calling your name. You looked at him, flashes of his dark cold face of that switched with his concerned soft one. You started to breathe heavily, you felt as time was going slow. He reached his hand lifts off of your should and goes towards you.

Your mind kept switching to him dragging you across the floor. How his younger brother was just coldly staring at you.

Before Tim could touch you, you slapped his hand from your face with wide eyes and narrowed brows. The boy moves back, pulling his hand to his chest. Shock written on his face as you started to calm down from him moving back.

“S..sorry.” You said softly, chuckling it off. How weak and embarrassing can you get. Showing that the accident was getting to you. “Guess I’m not feeling that well after all.”

Tim’s eyes soften as he nods, “I see. Well, I’m glad you’re back in school now. I’ve been worried that you may had it be homeschooled.” You nodded, really wishing he would be quiet. You looked forward at the teacher who was showing the programs of coding. Tim continued talking, looking at your side profile with soft dilated eyes.

“And if you did, you wouldn’t be safe either ways.”

“What?” You turn back to him who was looking forward like you. Tim looks back at you with a raised brow. “Hm? What’s wrong?” “Did… did you say something?” You felt yourself get nervous now. You swore you heard what you heard.

“I didn’t say anything? Are you sure you’re okay?” Tim says worried, a frowns appeared on his face. “Wow, you weren’t really joking about not being okay still..”

“Yeah…” you gazed onto his face, studying him to see if he’s hiding anything. You point to the glasses on his face.

“What’s up with the glasses? You never wore them before?” You said with a raised brow. That seem to make Tim’s face burst red, he messed with the glasses a bit before looking at you with a wide smile.

“Well with programming classes and coding a lot in robotics, my eyes started to get a little weak. So I had to get checked out and yeah.” He says as he stares at you with a soft stare.

Raising a brow, you looked at him confused. Tim always had 20/20 vision. He told you himself, he never needed glasses…

“But didn’t you always use to—”

“MX. [LASTNAME] & MR. DRAKE!”

You and Tim jolted at the teacher’s loud voice as the coding character has finished the programming. Classmates turned at you with either annoyance or confusion.

“Stop talking. Pay attention or I’m writing you both up.” With a stern look, the teacher turns back to the board. Leaving you with your hand in your hair and a confused face.

What the fuck was happening?

Tim could see you breaking down a little beside him, only moving his eyes to glance at you. His eyes started to darken.. he remembered.

“[name], what’s your type?” A girl with pigtails said, she looked at Jason. This was all in middle school. “My type is Jason! He got this bad boy vibe about him.” She giggles behind her hand. “You’re so lucky to have Jason by you.. I would die the second they say hi to me..” you awkwardly chuckled, “I don’t know what my type is.. I’m not really into dating.” You rubbed your arm. The girl gives you a raised brow, “No way you don’t have a type! You have to have a type at least…”

“Okay okay.. fine. I guess I like nerdy guys? Like Andrew Garfield spider man wise.. yknow? He looked hot with the glasses on.” The girl’s eyes widen as she shook you hard. “Omg yesss!!! I agree as well!!”

You and the girl walked away from where you were standing by the swing sets, not knowing a certain boy with a fringe heard what you said.

“So they like nerdy guys….” Tim looks down before a dark smile itched across his face.

“Okay.”

After class ended, you got from your seat ignoring the calls of Tim fumbling to get his notebooks and bag. You didn’t think a certain Wednesday would be like this when coming back from a few days.

Next class is Art, ah yes the peacefulness of creating the art inside of your mind and into the world. You smiled a genuine smile as you went to the 2nd floor of the school and into the class.

Sitting down, you let out a fresh breath of air.

Nothing can go wron—

“Hello, [last name].”

And it can.

When you turned to your left, there sat the worse of them all.

Damian Wayne.

Taglist: @roryroro @elect1z @lil-isha @no-bishes @darkfaethedestroyer @nightblanc @cxcilla @winter-world @cim0nnin @yl90 @enjisthings @gwyneveire @ashleeytrx @nightwinglover101 @exactlynumberonekryptonite @caffeinatedvigilantewriter @red-phantom-0 @iriseros00 @zenyyyluvyuu @xen-blank @obsessedwithromance @loafersrs @devils-blackrose @not-herexo @nyxisdark @chiarasworldd @apelepikozume @bookwarm0-0 @daffy-the-duck @holyfishbailiffpeanut @kaylp-godly @cheriecelestial @helloitsmeeeeeee @khalinda-ev @vodkaredbullsblog @another-one-writer @tenswife @that-creepy-girl-000 @childofman12 @1jieka @d1nne @alishii @tsuniio @melvin333 @lillian-morningstar @gentlemonstersworld @skullyz1 @eosfung @hearts4mica @sukaretto-n @mxvoid26

[biowho]

If I can be honest for a second, the ending of the Dragon Age series in such a disrespectful and rushed way does not make me excited whatsoever for ME5