#Also...that Nigheye mention! Yes he's still alive! More on that the next chapter tho

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]

New? Read here! Then here!

Chapter 9: Hurricane Katrina? More Like Hurricane Tortilla!

Wish I were thriving in this whole situation by now but it’s been two weeks of dorming and I want my mommy to make my lunches. But I’m just droning on and counting down the days until I can go home.

-Thursday, Hero class-

“...And since Iida-kun isn’t going to be in the Sports Festival” sensei turned toward me “You may sit out of this activity.”

“Can I go to the dorms?”

“No”

“Can I go to the nurse?”

Sensei sighed stressfully “Sure, but you’re not allowed to leave campus!”

I start to hover myself and my school bag “Yay! Later bitches!” I cried out weakly before leaving to the nurses office. I’ve been meaning to go to the nurse but I’ve just been so swamped with all my school work that I hardly have the time!

“Oh? What brings you to my office Iwata?” asked Nurse Eri when I walked in.

I set myself down and sighed “Honestly, I feel like I’ve been ran over by a bulldozer.”

“Come take a seat here” she points at an empty cot “Have you been sleeping enough? Drinking enough water? Diet changes?”

I think about it as she was taking my temperature “Oh jeez, I haven’t been doing any of those things, my diet has defiantly changed.”

She checks my eyes “You are showing signs of fatigue, hmm” she gets up to get something out of her files “Okay, when was your last depressive episode?”

“Uhhhh, not sure” I wasn’t sure since I’m also losing track of the days “a week ago?”

She scribbled something on her clipboard “Okay...When was the last migraine?”

“Never had a migraine” That I did know, but why that question?

“Good to hear....mood swings?”

“None”

“..Rate your quality of sleep 1-5, 5 being the best.”

“A 2.75, I don’t sleep more than 5 hours a night in a weekday” I added because I know they’d want an elaboration “On weekends I try to sleep more but at best I get 6 hours. Occasionally I get a nap.”

“Is this your dorm sleep schedule?” she asked looking up from her writing.

“Yes, at home I get more sleep.”

She puts her pen into her coat pocket “I have to say that, without going into other parts of this sheet, but it seems like you’re experiencing burn-out.”

I watch her get the head sensors “Burn-out?”

“It happens to everyone but it’s dangerous for telekinesis users” she said flipping on the machine “Instead of dampering your powers, it enhances them at a deadly rate.” The machine starts to blip “It looks like you aren’t in the danger zone yet, thankfully. What’s the biggest stress factor now that you’re away from home?”

I sneered “More like, what isn’t a stress factor!” I paused a moment to think of a serious answer “I’d say the workload. Being in two programs is double the homework and I barely get them done in time. Second would be the whole cooking myself food for the day, AND BEFORE YOU SAY JUST EAT SCHOOL FOOD, I’m picky.”

Eri sighed and put her clipboard down “Look, I’m probably not supposed to say this, but that’s what I was afraid of.” She made sure nobody was in the doorway “You’re the first student in this school that’s doing dual program enrollment and they don’t know how to adjust for your needs.”

That was unexpected “What do you mean?”

“The school is just winging it with your education, BUT with this apparent stress ailment with your quirk, we can lessen your workload and other parts of your daily routine” She explained “They have too.”

“Is it because of my mom?” I asked seeing how that’s usually the case.

“In a way, she was the first telekinesis user to attend this school and her needs alone had the school district change the way they do accommodations” They reached for the clip board “And that’s on top of being a donor and credible alumni, the school bends to her will when she isn’t happy with something. She cares so much about youth in hero education because of her experience.” A smile spread on her face “You know, your mom solved a case that involved my abuser when I was a child. If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be under heavy security and not realize my purpose or go to hero school. She paid for my schooling actually! So I’m incredibly thankful for her, wish she’d let us publicly praise her but she declines. There isn’t enough words or gifts in the world that can express how gracious I am, so the best I can do is serve others like she’d serve them.”

“I didn’t know she did all that for you” I was moved by her words “Did you think that you’d be treating her children?”

She stopped her scribbling “No, I always thought you’d lead different lives. But I guess even she didn’t know that it was going to be like this.”

Leaning back into the cot to rest my head “Mind if I just nap here?”

“You may, I’ll make sure you wake up when school lets out.”

I drift to sleep, but it wasn’t a peaceful sleep. Somehow I got this very vivid nightmare of fire everywhere and this tall figure grabbing me by the neck, chanting ‘We could’ve ruled this place together!’ and every-time was more distorted. The deranged eyes froze me and gasping for air, but then a sound like a gunshot rang out that woke me up. I sat up quickly and checked myself to make sure I was okay and that I just had a nightmare. By then it was after school, so I just left. The whole walk to the dorm had me thinking if I seen that thing in my nightmare. One would remember something so terrifying! Or maybe it’s a prediction and I’m gonna get hit with deja vu later?

“Hey, what do you want for dinner?” ask Beizu as I entered the room “It’s my turn to cook.”

“Oh uhhh hamburg steak?” I answered, taking off my uniform “I believe we have enough meat for everyone.”

“That might actually work” he said, getting up from his bed “What are you going to do?”

I give a sigh “Do homework and try to sleep early for once.”

Beizu left the room and I was left alone with my mountain of work. Upon finishing the easy stuff, I glanced over to the calendar... oh shit, my birthday is this weekend! How could I forget my own birthday?! I’m turning 17. No plans or (lets be real) time to do anything to celebrate. Wack! Wonder what my mom did on that day her 3rd year? It’s a good hour until dinner, I have time to do a little snooping. Beizu did say the cube had improvements done, so here it goes!

The room changes into her candy colored aesthetic, and on a bean bag chair was a young Mr Hitoshi and Mom.

“Mmm Hitoshi~” she softly moaned, eyes closed “I wish you could stay longer.”

“It’s almost lights out” He said checking his phone “I’m sure it won’t be a problem if I’m a little late. I’m getting “tutored” by the prettiest and smartest girl in school~”

“Shut up!” Mom playfully hits him “You flatter me too much.”

“It’s true, don’t blame me that I compliment you every chance I get” He holds her tighter “Everyone wants a piece of you but I feel so blessed that I have the entire world that’s you.”

She turns red and nuzzles herself into his chest “If you say so, I love you.”

“You’re amazing kitty~”

Her expression changed to disappointed “Hitoshi, can you just call me by my name?”

“Hm? You don’t like kitty?” he asked, looking down at his chest 

“It’s not that I don’t like it, I just prefer if you’d call me Ita” she looked back at him “Please?”

“Or do you prefer I call you my baby~”

She crinkled her nose “No, just Ita.”

“Aw but I want to call you something special, how about... Love~”

“Ita”

“Babe~”

“Ita”

“My cheeto puff~”

“Creative, but just call me Ita”

“I GOT IT! How about, My world~”

She had enough and just teleported him away. Leaving her slumped on the bean bag chair, she fixed herself so she was sitting properly on it, looking up.

She exhaled “What am I doing?” she said to herself “I wish you’d love me Tenya, I’d be so happy” she closed her eyes “If only I would cross the line and just get the rejection part over with.”

The hologram fizzled out and I was left with those emotions. Mom wasn’t happy with Mr Hitoshi, so why stick it out? I wanted to tell her that my dad does love her and to leave Hitoshi, as if I don’t know the outcome already. She was like me, lost and wanted to get things over with to get to the good part. Wish I had people wanting a piece of me like that, then I’d know who’s interested.

-Fast forward to Summer break-

I’ma keep it real chief, nothing interesting happens because it’s just me suffering for weeks at a time and wondering how I’m not collapsing out of exhaustion. Birthday sucked, sports festival was just quirk olympics, I finally figured out how to use most weaponry and Beizu improved the device so now it has pause and fast forward buttons.

But it’s June, I’m just chillin’ until I have to start training for the showcase. We’re hosting a summer bash and I’m on snack duty! 

“How the hell did my mom navigate around here in the heat?!” I whined, wiping the sweat off my face “And why is the nearest market on the other side of downtown?!”

“Stop your whining! I thought you wanted to go out” Beizu barked at me “Because you wanted to get things ahead of time.”

“Don’t mock me, I know what I said” I groaned as we crossed the street “Come to think of it, I haven’t been here since that one time I was with Gon in drag. Never really got to see everything here.”

“Oh yea huh? That felt like it was last year” he chuckled “but if you can bear the heat a little more, we can look around.”

We visited the candy store aunty Mimi won’t stop raving about. Then to the organic body store my mom gets all of her skin care from. Some other stores that were fairly new but for the most part, from what my mom recalls, most of the downtown area is the same from when she was at UA. We even dropped in the cafe that my parents had their ‘first date’ at...whatever that means.

“I expected this place to be more packed” Beizu pointed at the wall near the register “they pride themselves to be your mom’s favorite and that your dad loves the berry tart from here. They have their pictures up there for crying out loud!”

“I dunno, maybe it’s a slow day today?” I sipped my iced latte “It’s like, 2pm. Pretty sure everyone would be wanting lunch, not cafe sweets.”

Beizu shrugged as he took a sip of his drink “That makes sense...wonder what your parents meant by ‘first date’.”

I chortle “It’s probably something dumb like they so happened to be here at the same time and just hung out” I thought about it more “Or maybe my dad invited her to some coffee just to get to know her better? He did say he liked her way before she realized her feelings.”

“Then would this be a date?” Beizu joked.

“Depends, are you going to ghost me after graduation and later confess your undying love to me on a beach years from now?” I rolled my eyes and laughed “I’m joking, you wouldn’t hold back something like that, not for that long.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, like, you know what you want and you go for it. If you liked somebody, you’d tell them and not get all flustered. If you wanted something done, you’d do it yourself.” I look at him “You don’t overthink your actions or words, I admire that about you. Wish I could be as confident but I’m just a functioning mess.”

“Iwa, I don’t think you’re a mess” Beizu reassured me “You’re wicked talented and never give up on anything! I could never do dual enrollment, let alone be in A class hero and intel!” He put his hand on mine “And, for what it’s worth, you’re an amazing friend. I can’t think of anyone in the world that could compare, who’d go along with my ideas or go through life’s firsts.”

I look at our hands and turned mine to hold his “If you put it like that, then we’re a team” I squeezed his hand slightly “can’t break a pair if they’re like us.”

He looked away quickly “Hold up, I’m blushing” he cleared his throat “That was cute, what the fuck Iwa.”

“That good? Damn, I should write that one down” I took out my phone to write that down “swear I’m not even trying to be suave!”

“What would you say if you were being suave?” asked Beizu, still coming down from his blushing.

“Well, I guess I would do one of these” I prop my head up with my other hand on the table “Oye amor~ besitos for my one and only, then hit them with one of these.” I brought their hand up to my face for a kiss “Then say, Lets save the intimate kiss for behind closed doors~ I can’t have everyone looking at you when I express my love onto you~”

Beizu was frozen in place, redder than ever “That’s lethal Iwa!” He fanned himself “I feel like I read smut past my bedtime, where did you pick up on that?”

“My mom baby talks to my dad when she wants a kiss” I recall from my youth “He says he doesn’t like the baby talk but he blushes like crazy and gives into temptation to kiss her. Basically my mom takes control with the romantic shit, my dad tries and my mom just goes along with it.”

“I learned that my dad took the lead with the romantic stuff” Beizu added “The device showed the times he’d be tired but still give affection to my mom. He’s such a kiss ass to her” he laughed “Did everything for her around the house, basically a house husband when mom had to go to work on his off days. He even built that swing set in the backyard of my house!” his tone changed “He knew I was in my mom’s tummy before he died, prepped the house and everything even though I was months away from being born. Watching him fix up my room made me feel like he really wanted me and excited to be a dad.” He looked at me “I can only hope that if I become a dad, I’ll experience that same level of excitement.”

“Whatchu mean if you become a dad?!” I hyped “You will be a dad! Of course you will! I can already see them kids with pink hair and twisty bodies running around with toy tools and shit, yelling that they gonna fix things just like daddy.”

Beizu smiled again “You really think so? Will you be there with me?”

“Duh, them kids need friends! I’ll bring my kids and they’ll be friends just like we were” I fantasied, still holding his hand “Can you imagine all those mixed quirks? Our partners are going to hate us for being so chaotic natured! OH imagine if one of our kids marry and making us legally family? How crazy would that be?!”

“I do like the sound of that” Beizu shifted his gaze “Dang this place is starting to get packed!”

I turn around to see the line going out the door “Oh shit, we should zoot then” I got up and felt Beizu’s hand gripping mine “Hmm?”

“Can we hold hands the rest of the way to the market?”

I didn’t think much of this “Sure, but you carry the basket when we get there.”

“Deal” he agreed happily as we left the cafe.

We didn’t take long at the market, I always keep my focus when food shopping. Mom always liked taking me food shopping because I don’t ask for things and remind her to get things like rice and eggs. For being very chaotic natured, grocery shopping is the one thing that I refuse to fuck up! Lili gets distracted and lost in the freezer section, Tensei fights to push the cart and Hanaka will either throw a fit to sit with the food in the cart or will beg for things...after a while, it was just me and mom going food shopping because it was stress free. Thank God that I stuck to those good habits because Beizu is someone that doesn’t check brands before buying something. Wonder if this is how dad feels when things aren’t orderly? Wait, that gives me an idea!

Back at the dorms, I borrow the device and head to Gon’s dorm.

“Iida-kun?! What brings you to my dorm?”

“Gon, I need to borrow your room for like, 20 minutes” I asked up front “I need to check something.”

Gon crossed his arms “Well what’s in it for me?”

“I’ll give you this bag of hot cheetos and Ingenium endorsed canned orange juice” I held out the offer.

“Take as much time as you need!” Gon was wide eyed and took the offer “I’ll be in the commons room, snacking.”

I close the door and lock it, and just in case, I pulled the drapes and stuffed a blanket under the door. I had to see what my dad did when he was denying feelings for my mom. After a few weird moments that I glimpsed into, I finally ran into a scene that made me question things. The date was near the end of the term their 3rd year...

“...I was just wondering if you’d like to come to the carnival?” asked Ita

“...yea let me just get my shoes-” responded Tenya, reaching for their shoes

“Cool! I got my little squad of you, Mimi, Jin, Hitoshi ready to go and-”

“Wait, it’s not just us?”

“Well, no, I wanted to go as a group so I can have one last high school memory with yall before I leave to take my exam in 2 days”

“Then I won’t go if Shinso is going too”

“Why? What’s wrong?” she got suspicious “you’ve been distant lately, did something happen?”

“It’s just that” he tightened his fists “you’ve been hiding things from me like you don’t trust me! How can you call me your friend, chosen family, if you don’t tell me everything?!”

“What are you talking about?!”

“About you and Shinso moving in together!” he raised his voice “do you not trust me with that?”

Now that was some hot tea! Dad raising his voice?! He never got that loud with us, no matter how rowdy we got.

“Well, then maybe we shouldn’t be friends!” he exploded whatever he had pent up.

“Tenya what are you-”

“Put some respect on my name! Last name to address me Palma-san!” he loomed over her with anger in his eyes, clearly not himself.

“Let’s talk this out, please tell me what’s wrong” she pleaded “this isn’t like you and I’m scared, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to be said here!” he turned to finish packing “leave or I’ll throw you out.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong!”

“You’ve always been the disobedient one” he picked her up, opened his door and tossed her out like rag doll before slamming his door closed.

I gasped at the sight of my dad having the audacity to not only yell at my mom but to physically throw her out of the room and slam the door. It made my blood boil in anger, how dare he hurt the one person that loved him?! Over her moving in with Mr Hitoshi?! He could’ve easily confessed to her and solved everything! Why did mom forgive this and still married him? If I were mom, I’d fight back and never talk to him again. The hologram fizzled away and that calmed me down to remember that my dad isn’t like that anymore. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t show anger, this was a bad memory that changed the way he treated my mom. I guess even dad had some traumas under that seemingly perfect image. I put everything back the room was before I left.

“Iida-kun! Where are you going?” asked Kage-san “Come join us for game night!”

“Yea! We could use someone to even out the teams” said Gon, sweating over the hot cheetos “Please? You can bring your friend too.”

“I, uhhh, have to go to my dorm for the day” I held up my phone to go along with my excuse “Class rep has summoned me for kitchen duty.”

They waved me off without further questions, which was relieving because I didn’t want to explain why I was there or what I saw. I ran to my dorm to tell Beizu what I found.

“BEI HOLY FUCK!”

He sat up from his bed “What? What did you see?!”

I explained what I saw “...like, I don’t get it! Mom unknowingly wound up a love triangle where my dad and mom clearly loved each other and better for each other. And my mom didn’t like Mr Hitoshi all that much but still went as far as living with him after graduation!”

“That is quite the drama that your dad started” Beizu pulled up his phone “But check this out, in your dad’s file, about 3 days after that date you saw” He held out his phone to show me “Your dad got into a fist fight during school hours with Mr Hitoshi. And the tea about that is that the school pardoned it because this was their first offense and graduation was a few days away to really have an affect.”

I look intensely at the proof “No way! Dad threw the first punch too?! This was serious business, but why couldn’t anyone say anything?!”

“Maybe it was different times” Beizu locked his phone “They were in this war with that villain group. Your mom probably didn’t want to get in your dad’s way, he did have an image to maintain for his family, and she was just a foreigner. There wasn’t time to admit the truth and she just went with Mr Hitoshi as something more realistic?”

“But this is my mom, she’d never settle!” I flop on the bed “You’d never hide things from me, right?”

“Never” He laid next to me.

“You’d point things out if I’m being dumb right?”

He rested his head on my chest “Of course!”

“Good, just making sure” I put my hand on his head “I’d hate to repeat what my parents did.”

“That won’t happen, I promise” Beizu looked up at me “I’d never leave your side.”

“It’s what I look forward to the most” I smile “a future with you, no matter what happens.”

This little moment calmed me down. Being roommates was the best decision ever!

FAST FORWARD TO THE AGENT DISPLAY....not much happened between, just better mental health and getting my agent license I guess? OH! I got a reduction in workload! If I had training in my agent courses, I don’t have to do hero training unless I feel like I can take on the workload that day. And thats on top of getting weekly homework from the hero course instead of daily work. Thank you mom for being so powerful that the school bends to your will without saying anything!

“Hey you killed it out there Iwa!” cried out the class rep as I took off my visor in the changing room “The spectators were in awe of that little flight trick.”

“Not gonna lie, thought I was gonna fuck it up” I wiped the sweat off me “I’ve been holding in a nasty fart the whole time.”

“Ew should I leave?” She gagged as she back away from me.

“Naw, I farted in the wing on my way here” I admitted “I strongly suggest not going that way.”

“YO I THINK SOMETHING DIED IN THE WING!” screamed one of our classmates that ran in “How are you guys not throwing up?! The smell is awful!”

The class rep narrowed her eyes at me “You disgust me, I came here to ask you out for some boba but you’re just another fart boy!”

“I DIDN’T WANT TO FART DURING MY DISPLAY!” I stressed my logic “I’m less confident when I fart in front of people.”

“It’s true” Beizu said, walking out of the bathroom “But what do I know, I’m just a fart boy, huh Gee-san?!”

“Both of you are disgusting fart boys with pretty faces!” huffed the class rep “I’m leaving to the stands! Formation time is in 10 minutes!” She walked out and started gagging loudly.

Come the stage part, I didn’t place in the top or anything, but I got my agent number! It’s 88, and that’s what everyone is going address me as when I’m in the field. None of my family came to see me but that’s a given, theres some shit going down in the real world. Mom feels bad for not coming but I told her that it was okay. I know how important these cases are for her to solve, plus it sort of feels like the reality of all children of agents and heroes, of course your parent isn’t always going to be there for school events! But back to me, I get swarmed with questions from agencies about my quirks and my other combat skills. It got me excited for this part of the training, the internship! Mom told me that she had a hard time choosing since basically every agency gave her an offer. Wonder if it’s going to be the same for me?

-Monday after the agent display, Homeroom-

“Okay, I’m passing back your offers” announced sensei after taking roll “No pressure, but I’ll need your decision by Thursday morning. Also don’t feel bad about the amount of offers your other classmates get in comparison” He stopped at my desk and plopped a dictionary thick packet “Think of it as having an easier time choosing.”

“Wow, that’s thiccc with three c’s!” Beizu commented “Gonna crack that thing open at lunch?”

“Yuh, I didn’t know that many agencies were in attendance that day” I said, feeling the weight of the packet “Didn’t think I was that impressive.”

I spent most of my free time that day reading through the offers, but one stuck out to me. Before I went to bed, I saw an offer from the agency Deku works at. They gave me the offer on the basis of “The order of Sir Nighteye”....What the fuck does that mean?! I’m gonna take it but do they have to be that cryptic?!

-Chapter 9, End-

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