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shadlad24 · 4 years

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More Funny Little Moments #1: Season 1, Episodes 1-12

So, I decided to do this post after all. Halp. LOL Because I apparently LOVE giving myself a bunch of unnecessary work, I decided to choose two to three extra moments, per episode! SUPER halp! X’D Anyway, these are moments that didn’t make the cut for my FFLM series because: my sense of humor is a little weird, they were gonna be too much work (LOL/Siiigh), I like to highlight patterns, and I don’t like a lot of repetition. [Links to each FFLM along the bottom of the post. :)]

Let’s start with something I originally agreed with other fans on but have since changed my mind. A lot of people didn’t like this part of “Chariots of War” because it seems so ludicrous that Xena would forget her chakram anywhere. Well, let me tell you! This lady has left her weapons behind most episodes thus far. I didn’t note it every time here (and especially didn’t bother with her whip) because that’d really overrun the post buuuuut… You’ll see. XD

1.01 Sins of the Past

Xena’s shift being so much dirtier than the little boy’s clothes though she’s high up off the ground, and he lives in smoked-out rubble.

Yup. Xena forgot her sword (and later, her main saddlebag) at her mother’s tavern. Pft.

Sorry these were kinda lame, but I didn’t want to re-use any more of the original fifteen points I made about this episode... Ah well. Moving on! (heh)

1.02 Chariots of War

Xena loses her sword after the chariot crash, taking up and discarding Sphaerus’s but walking off without her own. (See her front and back and both of Argo’s sides.)

Gabrielle chewing Xena out, Xena being bummed about it, and Argo being surprised. X’D

1.03 Dreamworker

This got me good. Gabrielle does Xena’s war cry so well here that I really thought it was Xena for a few seconds. Realizing it was GabbyWabs only made me chuckle more because she apparently can’t do it when it really counts in “The Greater Good.”

Argo NOT being on Team Gabrielle. XD (Their feud is a little funny to me.)

1.04 Cradle of Hope

Xena tossing aside her sword after killing Nemos. Extras even dance and celebrate right on top of it! Wut thuh?

I decided to avoid mentioning Hope in the FFLM because Xena’s quote here is more ironic than comedic, and Gabrielle’s little face is just so sad, but I didn’t want to let it pass by entirely unremarked upon. At least GW gets to show off her oracle skills again? :’)

1.05 The Path Not Taken

So, Xena and Gabrielle walk into a bar… Heh. No, but really, they enter this tavern for the first time ever, yet the bartender not only knows what they want, he knows that they’re coming and has their drinks waiting for them too. All Xena has to do is knock on the counter and nod to get her fire-breath alcohol/oil, and Gabrielle barely has the word “cider” out of her mouth before the guy hands it to her. Xena, like me, is duly amazed.

Lucy, through Xena, making another timely anti-peanut statement. I just didn’t want to do the same thing twice back-to-back in the FFLM. X)

1.06 The Reckoning

Gabrielle thinking along the same lines Xena and I did about this poor excuse for a judge.

Me not being well-versed in ancient Greek heroes and picturing the fool who Draco killed so handily in the first episode. heh

1.07 The Titans

I’ll let Xena explain this one. …Mostly. I can’t believe Gabrielle not only sassed the Titans such that she unashamedly put Xena and Phyleus in danger too, but also kinda got this (admittedly awful) town demolished and didn’t lift a finger to actually help anyone in the temple. Tsk tsk. XP

So… Hyperion here can smash homes and businesses that were probably well-built and reinforced and all, but he can’t get his hand out of a stocks-cuff that was made in a single evening with scraps from those destroyed buildings. He also, inexplicably, has no use of his left hand or the power-breath that he used to knock Gabrielle over. Okie. XD

1.08 Prometheus

Is this really a thing? I was giggling quite a bit in disbelief that severed windpipes can heal. Like, perforated is one thing; completely bisected? Yeah, I don’t think so.

Gabrielle being incredulous upon learning that Xena has other friends, realizing what the warrior princess means, and then wondering if that could be her one day.

1.09 Death in Chains

Gabrielle enjoying watching Xena kill someone for the first time, then quickly realizing that fact. Whoops.

I found this moment really odd and then kind of hilarious. This poor dying old woman begs for water and goes ignored not only by the hospice workers, but also Talus and Gabrielle. Then Talus decides to be helpful. Gabrielle goes to the woman and lets her talk a lot (undoubtedly drying her mouth and throat even more), hears that Xena might be in danger, and then just… leaves. Talus goes with her, not having gotten water from the well after all. What a couple of jerks! XD

1.10 Hooves & Harlots

I really don’t know why Gabrielle kept making this face as Terreis died, but it tickled my funny bone too. So, I provided alternate subs to go with it. [Did you notice how she kind of cringes when Terreis tries to hold her hand and then just lets the Amazon flop once she’s died, flinging her hand aside like, “Ew, get it off me!”? What was that all about? X”) Hm… maybe she has an aversion to dying people, and that’s why she abandoned the old lady last episode?]

Gabrielle being a smart aleck, just like me, because Phantes’s complaint here is so ludicrous. But then you see the close-up of little hoofies in cuffs too, and, if you’re anything like me too, kinda just topple over laughing. The poor actual horse they did this to, though, man! What even?

Gosh, this episode was chockfull of hilarity, eh? Why did this happen? Gabby, take it away!

1.11 The Black Wolf

I laughed at this too. But now I wonder. Is Xerxes related to Caesar and/or connected to Rome or something? Because Xena does this twice around them too. In “When in Rome,” she jokes that the two guards lost playing tag with her, and in “A Good Day” she informs Pompey that if there were more guards hiding around their meeting space, then she would have had more helmets. heh Oh, Xenie. I think I know why Gabrielle’s turning out to be such a little punk ...or vice versa? Is Gabrielle actually a bit of a bad influence on Xena? XP

So, this fight just struck me as really odd. Xena passes her sword to Flora though she (Xena) needs to battle the big boss of the episode, and… actually, is totally right. The king throws a single wide-ass punch, waits while Xena kicks the guy behind her a few times, lets himself get kicked in the face a couple of times, and then comes at her with a little piece of chain, presumably from the restraints that were intended to keep Flora in place during her execution. Sir, you have a sword! A giant sword, right there on your hip! What are you doing? Then, when Xena kicks him a final time and sends him flying, his (supposed-to-be) metal armor is no match for the splintered wood of the axe she broke earlier. …Okie. XD XD XD *gif below*

Xena once again leaves her chakram somewhere. …And I am now imagining this being part of Gabrielle’s maid duties: the poor kid has to go find Xena’s weapons each night and bring them back to her. I’m especially imaging the fluffball hilariously, adorably struggling to get the chakram out of things like this wall, as she did with Xena’s sword in the tree stump in “Dreamworker,” but more parallel to the floor. Cuuuute! XD

This plus this

*pic + GIF below*:

1.12 Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

This scene too really made me wonder, though amused as well. Why is Gabrielle so surprised that the only city nearby, that they were headed to, is the one they find? Is she really being that loud? Is Xena goofing around with the bootlaces question? Why startle Gabrielle and then yank her into enemy territory screaming, when what you want is quiet? What’s with the trapdoor-spider soldiers? Xena’s pose throwing the chakram. XD Gabrielle mostly featherlight dance-y moves through the battlefield. XD XD XD Why is it that when Xena tells Gabrielle to stick right behind her, Gabrielle disappears? And what was with the bucket-sitting soldier? Gabrielle is like, “Oh; no, thank you!” when she sees him and turns tail. Then Xena ...follows her. “We’re goin’ this way! Now we’re goin’ that way!” But they still end up dead-ahead from where they burst out of the bushes. XD That was ridiculous and nonsensical, and I’m very confused but had lots of fun. heheheh *gif below* [ETA: Darn! The original file was too big, so I had to remake the GIF and cut quite a few things out. :( Sorry]

Xena’s outta-nowhere crusade to emasculate Deiphobus coming full-circle. What was that all about?

Welp, I hope you had as much fun as I originally and then later did. Not so much in the middle with the collage-and-GIF-making and editing and redoing, but; y’know. XD Wouldn’t trade it for …Hm… Nevermind. LOL

If you missed any of the FFLMs, then please click on the corresponding number-links below. :D

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12

#xwp #xena #xena warrior princess #gabrielle #xena and gabrielle #fflm #funny #comedy #season 1 #forgetful #magic #shenanigans #argo #chakram #sword

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religioused · 3 years

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You Are Not Cursed

Pride Church Service 2021

by Gary Simpson

Hebrew Scripture Reading: (CEV)

Genesis 3:8-15 Late in the afternoon a breeze began to blow, and the man and woman heard the LORD God walking in the garden. They were frightened and hid behind some trees.

9 The LORD called out to the man and asked, "Where are you?" The man answered, "I was naked, and when I heard you walking through the garden, I was frightened and hid!"

11 "How did you know you were naked?" God asked. "Did you eat any fruit from that tree in the middle of the garden?"

"It was the woman you put here with me," the man said. "She gave me some of the fruit, and I ate it." The LORD God then asked the woman, "What have you done?" "The snake tricked me," she answered. "And I ate some of that fruit."

14 So the LORD God said to the snake: "Because of what you have done, you will be the only animal to suffer this curse— For as long as you live, you will crawl on your stomach and eat dirt. You and this woman will hate each other; your descendants and hers will always be enemies. One of hers will strike you on the head, and you will strike him on the heel."

Opening Prayer:

Companion God, today, we accept the clothes you make for us after each mistake. And we seek to wear them with pride in being the people that you created. Amen.

Reflection:

Today, I am wearing orange, because orange is the color used to Represent people who went to residential schools for indigenous children in Canada. In today’s service, we are weeding a few elements regarding the Kamloops, British Columbia residential school in with the service.

J.P. Fokkelman wrote the chapter on Genesis in The Literary Guide to the Bible. Fokkelman notes that there is a poetical form in the story of humanity’s fall.(1) I have heard theologians take the position that poetry in the Bible should not be taken literally. The Companion Bible takes the position that this passage is literal history that uses figures of speech for emphasis.(2) When I see poetry in a passage, I try to dig a little deeper than a literal interpretation, because the Biblical author might be trying to make a much deeper point, a point that will resonate even louder in the heart. Today, we can get out the excavation equipment and dig a little deeper.

There are different ways to view the story of Adam and Eve sinning. There is a Christian understanding, which most of us are familiar with, a Rabbinic Jewish understanding, and a Gnostic understanding. As Christians, we have generally seen the narrative in our Genesis reading as the fall of humanity. The fall seems to be the dominant understanding in Christianity.(3) While Rabbinic Judaism tends to see this Genesis narrative as an event that changed humanity, Rabbinic Judaism does not see this story as the fall of humanity. Sin moves from being present outside of humanity to something that is also present inside humanity. Judaism tends to see humanity as now subject to death, but not as “damned or totally separated from the divine.”(4) The Gnostics tend to see the story of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit as a “coming of age" story.(5) Because Gnostic interpretations could be the topic of a lecture, I will not get into them. I tend to see this as a coming-of-age story, with multiple shades of meaning.

John Gill, the 16th Century theologian and “prolific author,” wrote commentaries covering the entire Bible.(6) In Gill's Exposition the observation is made that Adam and Eve must have known that they were naked, but now they found themselves feeling shame at their own nakedness.(7) Shame, remorse, guilt, and fear were previously “strangers” to Adam and Eve.(8) As a result of Adam and Eve's mistake, the descendants of the Eve are wounded, but have the hope that there will be a “definitive victory over evil.”(9) I believe God tries to restore the inherent worth and dignity of the couple. “God gives Adam and Eve the loincloth . . . for their dignity.”(10)

“God makes the first move to counter sin.”(11) God walks in the garden. Some Bible commentators believe that God is a spirit, so God was not literally walking through the garden. One of my Bible commentaries describes God as “walking in a visible form – not running hastily, as one impelled by the influence of angry feelings” and says God was “uttering the well-known tones of kindness.”(12) Commentator Matthew Henry sees significance in the time of day that God came walking through the garden. God did not walk during the hot part of the day, because God was not angry with Adam and Eve. God did not come at night, when Adam and Eve's fears would have been much higher. God walked through the garden during the cool part of the day.(13)

In the order of events, God’s first question is not about the mistake of eating the forbidden fruit of the tree; it is about shame. God asks, "How did you know you were naked?" That question is followed by the question, "Did you eat any fruit from that tree . . .?” I picture God asking, “How do you know you are naked?” Following a long silence, during which Adam and Eve are too afraid to respond, God asks the second question. “Did you eat from that tree?”

Perhaps, there is importance of the order of the questions God asked Adam and Eve how they knew they were naked, how they knew they were shameful and deserved to feel shame, debilitating shame. Then God asks, “Did you eat from that tree?” God’s first concern seems to me to be more related to who told Adam and Eve that they were naked, who told them that they should be ashamed than it is to the fact that they disobeyed God.

Adam’s defense for disobeying God is blaming Eve. And Eve blames the snake. Contributors to The Abingdon Bible Commentary observe, “The snake is not even allowed to make a defense, for his guilt is too obvious.”(14)

Contributors to the Christian Community Bible make this point. “God curses the serpent but not humankind.”(15) Other animals are not cursed. Only the snake is cursed.(16) The ground is cursed by God, but humans are not cursed.(17) This is an important point. Humanity is not cursed. Those going through a coming-of-age experience are not cursed. LGBT+ people are not cursed. Emphasizing this point: You are not cursed.

There is a cool story of a crow and a fox. The fox was hungry and was hoping that the crow would come down from a tree, so the fox could dine on crow. The crow would not come down from the top of the tree. Using a religious appeal, the fox tried to convince the crow. He points out that in the Talmud, an ancient Jewish commentary, the lion and the lamb lie down together, and that the fox and the lamb will lie together.(18)

Then the sounds of hunting dogs could be heard. The fox got scared. The crow pointed out that the fox had no reason to be afraid, because the fox is a Talmud scholar and knows what Isaiah said. The fox replies that he knows what Isaiah said, but the dogs don’t, as he slinks into the bushes to hide.

Those foxes who cite the Bible, book, chapter, and verse, to condemn those who are coming of age and to especially condemn LGBT+ people find the hunting dogs of guilt and shame come after them, because they have not tasted much of the love of God.

Thousands of years later, God still “seeks out those were hiding among the trees in shame, who have patched together clothing of their own making, who are afraid of God.” God is the garden of our lives wanting to “restore relationship.” God is not in the distant heavenly, “arms folded.” God is present, asking, ‘Where are you?’(19) And the voice is a quiet, calm, concerned voice, not a voice of anger.

Lama Rod Owens is a Buddhist teacher, a lama. Owens wrote the book Love and Rage: the Path of Liberation Through Anger. He gave the April 2021 Boswell Lecture at Pacific School of Religion. He said, "Conditional love is an act of psychological and spiritual terrorism."(20) I agree with him. God is not a psychological terrorist and God is not a spiritual terrorist. God’s love is unconditional and eternal. You can never outrun, outlive, outlast, or out hide God’s love by living in the closet. Gods' love cannot be shamed away or scared away by fig leaves.

I want to speak directly to people of Indigenous heritage and then I will conclude. Saying the last week to ten days was painful is an understatement. Words cannot begin to describe the news regarding the Kamloops residential school. Those who shamed, degraded, and dehumanized you are in the wrong. You are not in the wrong, and you were never in the wrong.

In the midst of pain, degradation, and shame felt First Nation, Inuit, and Métis people, God walks through the garden and asks, “who told you you were naked?“ And God restores dignity and worth.

God surveys your coming of age mistakes, moves to help you feel shameless and then God speaks words of condemnation to those who made you feel shame, to those who made you feel defective and worthless. But God does not curse you. You are not cursed. The Kingdom of God is a shame-free place. You are not cursed. You are loved, not cursed. Hallelujah! Amen. Now go. Live in Pride.

Prayers of the People:

At the end of each prayer, we say together: God of shameless faith, we thank You for burying our shame.

One: For those who found coming of age frightening and shameful, we ask that godly pride replace shame.