#Also you'll hate me
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It is over now? (chapter 12)
(I can't write a relevant summary without spoiling but the chapter is great, I swear)
#mctwinkles#landoscar fanfic#Landoscar#I'm sorry#I swear you're going to love it#Also you'll hate me#But I'm fine#Please don't hate me#IION fic
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They are all silly
(Goji hanging out with his bros again!)
Is from this video:
#godzilla#godzilla x kong: the new empire#rodan#anguirus#the boys are back at it again!#i seriously need to draw rodan and angy more#cos i love them#they deserve love and attention too#anyway they are finally hanging out#and RODAN RAMSAY IS BACK TOOO#WOHOOOOO!!#also if you look at the comic really carefully#anguirus is me#i am anguirus#i love turkey too#you'll see that Rodans hate is... evolving#haha#do not repost#my art
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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Can we get more of the murder drone x rain world au?
ok
#ive been working on artfight refs and also so i can have the plot in a comprehensible fashion#as much as i love bulletpoints theyre too scattered to work#yeah the yellow lizard is just from the original sketch i really didnt feel like changing anything#and just used it for the ref#its so fanficy and cringe and whatever but we all know what a very unwise woman once said#jcj has a design but no name nor ref. do you even know how little cool words begin with j#and then theres a c inbetween. what the hell am i supposed to do with that#probably misinterpreted some rain world lore for this but i dont care its headcanon now bite me#art#murder drones#rain world#i should probably give this like a special tag if im gonna keep posting about it#will i? no#god i hate character design so much#doll and tessa also have design sketches but you'll have to find me in the right places for those until im satisfied enough to make a ref#oh my god i forgot the lower back spike things on n im gonna do nothing about it except get mad at myself
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I started reading beastars so now HE's reading beastars .wait
THEY'RE reading beastars
#nobody gets a prize for correctly guessing which character yakumo relates to most#when the anime first came out and everybody hopped on the hype train#i scratched my chin thoughtfully and wondered.... would i like this? it seems like i would like this. should i watch it?#and all my friends around me said 'nah you'll probably hate it. it's really sad'#so i trusted them and ignored beastars the whole time. until now. when i saw the entire series at my LOCAL LIBRARY!!!!#so of course the curiosity wins out and i start reading it and i REALLY LIKE IT?? WTF WERE MY FRIENDS ON ABOUT?#this is sad yes but most of the time it's FUNNY? and also ANIMALS R COOL? bruh. i can't trust my friends' opinions of me anymore#anyway. due to the nature of my current nuca fixation timing. i kept thinking of it while reading#drawing parallels that may only exist in my mind LOL#i can imagine yaku being a freak over legoshi and his quest to become strong but not falling to his instincts and etc.etc.#yakugaru having a manga reading session in either o their bedrooms... lying on the floor engrossed in beastly tales...#these two would absolutely have a debate about which chara is most similar to eiden#to yaku it is obvs haru but i feel like garu would see eiden in a less.... prey sort of way#or maybe they'd agree on the haru comparison!! but yaku might hesitate to voice the 'mr eiden... has to be protected...' thoughts#and garu would proudly proclaim how eiden and haru share traits like bravery/outgoingness/super cool and go-getter/wise and worldly???#i kept staring down louis like.... you're some mix of dante and edmond... and something else....#UGH i like all the characters... they all have their charms.... they are all such creatures#honestly yahya the entire time was just relatable content and after seeing the way he lived out the rest of his life *chef's kiss* GOALS#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival garu
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What are you proud of?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 03 / Ep. 06
Bonus:
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#pdribs#userjjessi#userrain#*cajedit#*gif#wheezing at my own gifset i fuckinglkhsflkhsfl hate these guys#these arguments are so childish so i think its really great that they literally pull rank on each other both times#'just because we grew up together' 'you're only three years older'#why are they sooooooooooooo stupid. and funny.#its the being inseparable while growing up in a gang that did this to them i think. lmao#also. boys. why dont both of you listen to too young by nat king cole and then maybe you'll calm down#anyway shoutout to user nikkotinamide AGAIN for advising in translations and making me sure i could parallel the word 'brat' here#literally obsessed with it and the implications in both scenes/conversations#the first with ai di essentially saying chen yi is a kid to cdy and the second with chen yi being like 'what do you know about love/s*x'#me in both scenarios: :) ......>:) but then the rest of the scene paralleled TOO with ai di teasing chen yi about his. :)#and getting slammed into the wall for it hjsdkhfdj THEYRE SOOOOOOO FUNNY. GODDD
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And at the rate things are going, I fear I am not any way inclined at all! *Laugh track*
#Friedrich ii#frederick ii#frederick the great#Old Fritz#Prussia#prussian history#18th century#House of Hohenzollern#As Habsburg defense lawyer i am obligated to hate this mans guts and ig i do but what can i say. Iconic quote.#Oh fritzy youre lucky you dont know what they did to you! And everyone like you! In the name of you legacy! Travesty 🔻🩷#Also thinking about when my professor briefly mentioned Fritz and that he was gay and some MORON with his gf snickered#Like f**k off!! You think its funny! You're not in secondary school anymore he's more of a man than you'll ever be!#And if you think being gay is an affront to his masculinity then he's still more of a woman than youll ever get!#And i say all of it as a Habsburg Defender! And yes i thanked my professor for not leaving that bit of his story out after class#Unrelated but is this me coming out as Aroace with Shit Luck. Perhaps 🤡 lowkey feel being aroace is the new gay iykyk isolation babeyyyy
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Trying to think of a funny and charming way to say, "I'm still alive but my chronic illness is still kicking my ass in turbo mode, so looking at a screen for more than an hour at a time really hurts! I also had the worst gender dysphoria I've had in YEARS for a few months, so it made playing a woman on the internet pretty impossible, but that seems to have calmed down and I'm comfortable with myself again. I miss you guys. I want to come back. I want to feel better enough to come back. I will try to be around here and there, because I like doing this, but I'm very tired and sick. Thank you for understanding."
But I can't, so I'll just give everyone kisses and invite you all to a nice nap in my comfy bed 😤
#nyxrambles#I hate being a downer!#But also I can't deny that I'm still not feeling up to posting :(#The good news is that I started Tears of the Kingdom! It's a good game!#And I'm in physical therapy! It's exhausting!#If you're a chronic screen user please for the love of god stretch once in awhile or you'll end up like me--#Hot but decrepit at the tender age of [redacted] 😌🙏#Anyway the migraine is setting in so it's time to go take an ibuprofen and chill~
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me, looking at the most toxic, awful, horrendously unhealthy fictional relationship in the world: why can't i have what they have? :(
#remind me of how easily you could kill me then say i won't die until you let me#you insult me and I'll insult you and we'll both know each other so unfathomably well that every word is a finely tuned blade#we'll kiss and you'll draw blood and I'll think of you every time i feel the bite mark#in every universe we find each other and we hate each other and we want each other more than we can say through words#tell the world i'm yours while i glower with reverent loathing#every conversation we have is poison#we twist and distort each other until there's nothing left but two shattered halves of a one way mirror#I'll hold you tightly like you're the only thing that matters#we'll slowly settle into a sort of rancid dependent domesticity#and set out to ruin each other until even those jagged shards turn to dust#(apologies reader of these tags#the “you” i'm referencing isn't referring to you personally#or you generally#i'm just cooking up more motivation to write sdhdjshdj)#(oh! also- please note the use of FICTIONAL#this is all just imagination loll)#why yes this is about#toxic old man yaoi#however did u guess#also just general#toxic yaoi#toxic yuri#but ykkkk#I watched one too many animatics#billford#hahahaaa who said thatttt not meeee hahaaaa#they ruined me#oh also-#pureshadow
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there should've been at least a full view of Fíli's body in the funeral scene
"Fíli you didn't deserve any of this" we all say in unison
#you already know how much i hate the way the hobbit movies are not canon-accurate at all#but what my boy Fili did to deserve such erasure... not even Mahal knows#not only he's the “least important Durin” in the movies somehow?? like he's literally the heir?? hello???#(Thorin's the king and we have that -ugh- Kíli subplot... nothing for Fíli)#we didn't even get a full body view like the rest of the departed. why.#but tbh I hate the funeral scene in general in the movies (the whole change w/ the Elvenking's character) so yeah#this is just the cherry on top#before anyone comes for my head for anything I've said: the movies are great movies BUT most definitely not good the hobbit adaptations#never in a million years will I ever say “if you don't feel like reading the book just watch the movie and I'll tell you the rest :)”#because literally no YOU'll be telling me the rest 😭#but also never in a million years will I ever say “please for the love of everything holy do NOT ever watch those terrible halfling films”#the hobbit#fili and kili#fili durin#kili durin#the hobbit thorin#thorin oakenshield#the hobbit movies
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I've always said that working in healthcare makes seeing people post about it on Tumblr kind of torturous, but these last several days have been truly trying.
#is the system completely fucked? yeah dudes#does most of tumblr also have zero idea how insurance works in the US? yeah dude#do they ever let that stop them from speaking with unearned authority on the subject#no dude#never#working on pharmacy for years has made me hate our system more than i thought possible#but goddamn some of you dont know shit about dick but you'll never let that stop you
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I'M SO OBSESSED WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY, THEY ARE MADE FOR MEEEEEE, GIVE ME HEAVEN'S SECRET 3!!!!!!
#romance club#heaven's secret#rc malbonte#malbonte#SOMETHING SOMETHING NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES SHE CANNOT HATE HIM#HE'S ALWAYS DOING INSANE SHIT FOR HIS GOOD AND NOT CARING ABOUT THE WORLD BUT ALSO PRIORITIZING THE //ONLY// PERSON HE LOVES#LIKE I WILL PUT THE ENTIRE WORLD AT RISKY BUT YOU'LL BE OK#I WILL NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO U#HE'S SO?????? HE MAKES ME GO FERAL
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the thing about birthday depression is that birthdays are. fundamentally. the #1 day to be happy that you're alive. Which is hard to do yourself if you're not actually happy to be alive and also the people around you can't win because if they forget (or don't acknowledge it) that feels like evidence that nobody else is happy you're alive either but if they DO try to celebrate it makes you feel guilty for not matching the vibe
#sad! but oh well there are other days (364.3 of them)#there's also the fact for me personally that my birthday is in may which is one of the busiest times in the academic year#and meant i always got shafted in school because there was some of kind of extracurricular event or exams on or around it#one year my chorus concert and my brother's football awards dinner were both on my birthday#and you'll never guess which one our parents went to!#also i straight up did not have friends until i was in high school so I stopped having parties after kindergarten#but that's not what we're talking about right now#like. i hate it. it makes me want to appropriate jehovah's witness culture.
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it's just that unfortunately, i do enjoy an occasional spooky-leaning story, or listening to someone play a horror game in the background, or listen to terrible cave diving deaths, and this means that youtube likes to go "oh horror fan? horror fan i see? here are a bunch of horror video, with scary horror thumbnail! your favorite" and boy howdy. many of it is fine but some of it is so so not what I like to see, visually, with my eyes, at the midnight hours during which I do most of my youtube browsing. or any time of day
#distorted faces tend to get me the worst i just fucking hate faces#Con stop yapping#also stoppppppppp recommending me videos abt ''zoochosis'' or whatever game it's not scary thumbnail but it's annoying#stop showing me that giraffe it looks so stupid in an annoying way#boooo you'll never be The Thing
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is it fair to call people like this "hack writers" if the only way they find a relationship interesting is when it involves pedophilia, incest, cannibalism or necrophilia?
#context: this was in response to a quote about cannibalism in a romantic context#note: this is purely in a writing perspective.#i find the value in romantic cannibalism because it is a interesting metaphor in general#but maybe look at irl examples of cannibalism and you'll realize that it is WAY more complicated#(ex. families in different cultures eating parts of a dead family member to connect them together; even after death)#(or the written historical accounts of slave-owners cannibalizing their slaves & the subsequent trauma for black people related to it)#cannibalism as a metaphor should never be restrained to only romance or love#do you recognize how interesting it can be to use cannibalism as a metaphor for hate? or for literally anything else?#it can be used as a metaphor for control; power; possession; abuse or destroying someone at their very core#im sure it can be used for both simultaneously but i think its limiting to perceive it as 100% romantic#also it limits the discussions of real life cannibalism; both modern and historical#+ is it really impossible to think of a “forbidden relationship” without these 4 subjects?#but the persons' bio starts w/ them being into winc3st (the one who wrote that) so i dont think they give a shit#(sorry for the fuck-ton of tags. it always bothered me as someone who does writing analysis sometimes & get fixated on culture and history)#[just me yapping]#ok to rb#proships dni#tw pedophila mention#tw incest mention#tw necrophillia#racism tw#tw cannibalism#<- these definitely apply here#[discourse talk]
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