#Also what is with Tate I'm sure he has got a crush on her

[just2bubbly]

I'm reading the book 'Where The Crawdads Sing' after much persuasion from people around. And well it's a great book so far into this and first it's helped me get out of the reader's block. But onto the book—

It has such a enticing start- nothing more appealing than murder to get a reader hooked on your book 🤌✨ but other than that it's sad over all: how Ma leaves Kya in her 'fake alligator heels' is just gut wrenching and the six year old innocent girl hoping that she would come back for how can a mother abandon her offspring? And how that's not the end of sadness and loneliness in her life- her siblings leave her and I don't feel much for the elder ones with whom she had no connect but Jodie who told her that 'she would understand why he did this when she is older' and I fail to understand why leaving a child with an abusive parent is anything understandable.

What is more depressing that Kya continues to hope that Ma will come back and she turns 7 and there is no one to wish her. She doing makeshift with her father to just have sort of connection with human beings is so unimaginable. Her dad being so cruel to her that he has no regards for her well being speaks volumes. Only for him to show some speck of humanity by taking her fishing, to a diner and just smiling. It's going to make me cry- the short glimpses of childhood are so heartbreaking to read. Only for me to feel sadder when he doesn't return- perhaps lost to death. Now Kya is forced to grow up and look past her creative needs to focus on how to bring food on the table is disturbing

[crazyk-imagine]

Breakfast and Shocking News

Pairing: Theo Raeken x Pack member!reader

Characters: Theo Raeken, Pack member!reader, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Scott McCall, Liam Dunbar, Malia Tate (Hale), Lydia Martin, Derek Hale, Peter Hale

Warnings: Fluff, post show, Theo is probably ooc, cute pack moment, Isaac should have been in season 6a/b and the movie so I brought him back, I got lost in tw fanfic tiktoks and now I'm back on tw

Word Count: 918

Is this the start of a series like my gym one for Triple Frontier? Maybe, we'll see.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You make another bowl of pancake batter, making sure to make more than you did last time. God, that was a mess.

You had to calm down three of them and Stiles should know better than to throw a fit in front of everyone. He's older than them for god's sake.

You shake your head and scoop more batter into the second pan you have going.

Footsteps entering the kitchen alarm you but enough to make you worry.

"Hey," he pecks your cheek.

"Someone else could be up, you know."

"I already checked." He taps his ears.

"Really?" You stare the chimera with a deadpan expression.

"Yeah, really," he says sarcastically, smirking at you afterwards.

"You're not cute."

"Oh, I think you're wrong. I'm," he wraps his arms around your waist. "Adorable and as your adorable boyfriend, it's my duty to tell you that," he pecks your neck, the spot underneath your ear. "Your pancakes are close to burning."

Your eyes widen. "Oh, crap." You remove yourself from his grasp and remove the pancakes from the pans. "Go sit down. You can get started on breakfast before everyone else wakes up."

"As long as you eat with me." He turns off the stove, pulling you with him.

"But I-"

He sits down, pulling you down beside him. He prepares your plate before making his own. "Eat." His free arm wraps around your back, his hand landing on your hip, keeping you close.

"Sometimes I wonder how you were ever a bad guy," you comment, cutting up your pancake.

"Stiles says the same thing but more sarcastically."

"It'd be alarming if he didn't use sarcasm." You look for your glass and realize you didn't get something to drink for either of you. "Do you want milk or juice?" You look in the fridge.

"I'm not Liam."

You purse your lips. "Just because he's younger and doesn't like coffee, doesn't make him a child."

He gives you a look.

"Don't be mean. He's a nice guy."

You reach for a mug in the cabinet.

"He has a crush on you."

"He does not."

"He follows you around like a puppy."

"He says I'm like an older sister to him."

"So, he doesn't get his ass kicked."

"You got punched by him at least three times."

Theo scoffs. "Did he tell you that?"

"Everyone has."

He shakes his head, stabbing his fork into his food. "I let him."

"Sure, you did." You place the mugs beside the plates and sit back down. "I'd still call you to kick somebody's ass for me," you tell him, wanting him to feel better.

"Yeah?"

You nod, "of course I would. Also, not to mention how hot you look when you shifted."

"You think I'm hot?" He turns to you.

You pause in your bite, slowly swallowing. "No?"

"You do. You think I'm hot."

You scoff, pushing him away. "I didn't say that."

"You said I'm hot," he repeats to tease you.

"No," you whine when he leans in.

"What did I just walk into?"

You both freeze, slowly turning to face the human of the pack. "Hey, Stiles."

"Don't "hey Stiles" me." He points between the two of you. "What's a- what's going on here?"

"We're having breakfast."

"You're looking a little close for people having breakfast."

"What's it to you?" Asks Theo.

"Something you want to tell your friendly neighborhood FBI Agent?"

You two glance at one another and shrug. "No."

He nods and ventures over to the coffee maker. "I don't buy it."

Some of the other pack members wander into the kitchen.

"Did Stiles find out?"

"Little bit," you tell her, pinching your fingers together, leaving a bit of space between your thumb and index finger.

"I don't get it."

"He's about to figure it out," Liam tells the were-coyote.

"Oh."

"Wait- you guys know they're dating?!" Stiles screeches.

"Uh," Malia, Liam, and Brett make the same noise.

"No?" Scott chimes in.

"Oh, please. It was painfully obvious from the start."

"How did you get in?" The true alpha asks Peter.

"When I got here," Derek adds.

"When did you get in?" Stiles asks.

"A few minutes ago."

"Is everyone here?" Malia asks.

"Now, we are," Lydia interrupts.

"Great. How many of you knew these two were dating?"

Everyone raises their hands, except for Liam.

"Okay, I'm not the only one."

"I was the one who got them together."

"Oh, great so everyone knew before me."

"Guess so," you shrug.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We knew you'd judge."

He scoffs, "I wouldn’t-"

"I asked you a hypothetical question and asked how you would feel if I was dating someone from the pack."

"Uh huh... and?"

"You said rip the band aid off and I said Theo. You told me to put the band aid back on and pretended I didn’t say anything after that."

"And your point is?"

"You didn’t want to accept it therefore I didn't actually tell you."

"I can- I can accept it."

"You can't," Isaac pats his shoulder before pushing him out of the way.

"When did you get into town?"

"This morning."

"Hence the big batch for breakfast," you answer.

"You knew he was coming?"

"Of course, I did. I picked him up."

"I did," Theo corrects you.

"It was a team effort, sweetheart." You pat his knee.

"Ew. Please, I'm trying to enjoy my coffee."

"Like you need something else to get you all jittery," you tell the human.

He sarcastically laughs in return.

-

Taglist

@kmc1989

[acesofspadess]

Endless Love 2

a/n: make sure you read part 1 before this part or it might not make any sense.

summary: Being on The Voice had become a quick dream of yours, and now that you were finally here... lets just say you were in for a crazy ride.

The Battle Rounds

Being on team Niall was something surreal. You truly couldn't believe where you were. You facetimed Harry as soon as you got home.

“I'm so proud of you B, besides you've been crushing on Niall since i met you.”

“Oh shut up.” 

“Wear protection!”

He got hung up on after that one. 

Going into the studio everyday and being with your new family was so much fun. You, Gina, and Riley Tate, became the closest. They become like little siblings and what made it all the more true was the incessant teasing.

 “It can’t be that obvious.” you told them sitting on your couch one night after rehearsals. “It's not but we’re your best friends now so it's obvious to us.” Riley pointed out. You groaned, throwing your head back. “I just want things to stay fair, you know. Like I won't say anything until he stops making decisions.” they looked at you like you had grown three heads. “That's a long time Bleu.” 

“It's only fair, and maybe the feelings will go away by then.”

The solo zoom calls filled with laughter and jokes definitely did not help the underlying feelings. You had been partnered with Kala. Her voice was amazing and it definitely made you nervous. You walked into the room hand in hand with Kala and you saw Niall's back and silently screamed. He was just beautiful. When he heard you both walk in he let out a little cheer and came to give you guys hugs. “I love how you've come in as a duo.” he teased, holding his own hand as we were.

When you got to your stand and looked back up Niall was already looking at you and slowly moved his eyes over your face before focusing again. “How was home?” he asked you. You went back home for your older sister Indigo’s  birthday who now lives in Dublin but you stopped by your hometown while you were there. 

“It was great. Indi had the family watch my episode.” you shook your head in remembrance. “Yeah how's Mullingar treatin’ you now?” you shrugged teasingly. “No murals yet.” you teased him as he laughed at the memory of his mural.

—

“What do we think about the tune?” NIall asked you Kala turned towards each others with smiles. “Its so good.” you both shared simultaneously. “I feel like across the board we’ve got good story tellers,” you both agreed with a soft ‘yeah’, “but you two do it very well; and this song is just a no-brainer to me.”

When you finished your first run through Niall laughed excitedly, “Oh ive picked the right song here.” You and Kala turned towards each others and held hands excitedly. He gave you guys some tips before you sang again.

What i love about Bleu… she has a really soft voice and then also, can belt. She flicks a switch and its like a completely different person

“Thank you my friends.” Niall said as swallowed you in a hug when rehearsal was over. “Thank you. Thank you for the song and the partner.” you spoke softly as you were very close.

—----

The moment was finally here. You and Kala ran towards each other from different sides of the stage and grasped eachothers hands sharing a good luck. You heard Niall laugh and you smiled softly. “This battle begins now.”

The lights went down and as the first keys of ‘Skinny Love’ played you took a deep breath raising the mic to your lips.

Come on, skinny love, just last the year

You got immediate cheers when you finished your first line

Pour a little salt, we were never here

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

Tell my love to wreck it all

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

Right at the moment, this order's tall

And I told you to be patient

And I told you to be fine

And I told you to be balanced

And I told you to be kind

And in the morning, I'll be with you

But it will be a different kind

'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets

And you'll be owning all the fines

Who will love you?

Who will fight?

And who will fall far behind?

Come on skinny love

You held onto the last note longer than Kala and saw Niall shake his head in amazement 

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my

As you and Kala finished the last note you immediately hugged each other as the audience screamed around you. When you looked towards the judges you saw Kelly and Niall standing up and you smiled widely. “Yes! C’mon!” Niall cheered, “Well done.”

Kelly blew out a deep breath causing you and Kala to laugh. “Bleu your tone -wow!- the roundness of it, the depth of it, the story teller in it. You have a really special gift. And Kala, Niall blocked me, i didnt even have a chance to be with you. I love your voice, it broke my heart. It was so beautifully sung and for some reason Kala, i was gravitating towards the sweet angelic vibe. I actually loved both of your ‘blinds’ songs to, youve both just got great taste in music too. And knowing how to navigate a singing competion these are smart songs.”

“I know.” Niall said taking it personal, making everyone laugh. “Your voices are magical together, which sucks cause then you have to pick.” you and Kala looked at each other with smiles. “I think either one of you could be in the finale, you're both fantastic.” you both thanked her as chance spoke up.

“You guys are making great choices, in terms of dynamics and where to go big. Like Kala, you had a little bit more control, pitch wise everything was perfect. Bleu there were parts where you were a bit shaky, but thaat was what to me gave you the edge. It felt like a cool performance, it was fire. I feel like either one of could win this whole thing. I would hate to be in your position.” hhe finished off directing to Niall, who nodded solemnly. You and Kala then turned to Blake.

“This is about as evenly matched as we can get here. I mean Bleu, where'd you learn to sing like that? Who are your heroes? Ive never heard a voice like yours in my life.” everyone laughed as Kala spoke into the mic, “shes best friends with Harry Styles.” you laughed even more and so did everyone else as it was now common knowledge. “As Kala said definitely Harry, but i really like Adele and in all seriousness Niall, they were the first songs i mastered, and definitely my favourites.”

“Never heard of them.” kelly joked, “I didn't even hear what she said.” Everyone laughed and you loved that Nialls was the loudest. “She said Niall and Adele.” Kelly said for you. 

“You dont sound like either of them. You just have this whole different thing happening and you know, i'm the wise old man here -maybe not wise- but im the old man here and man Bleu, the thought of your voice on a record doing all of those crackly things you do, i just think because of that, i would go with Bleu.”

You thanked him as Carson stepped on stage and spoke to Niall. “Alright Niall, youve got final decision.”

“Ive had sleepless nights leading up to this decision, not gonna lie.” Niall confessed, “I put you two together and shot myself straigh in the foot. The two of you have been unbelievable to work with and you can tell a story and tell it well, that is why this decision is the hardest. I'm getting a bit emotional actually.” he took a deep breath in before continuing,  “Bleu your tone is just phenomenal and the fact that you can speak like a quite mouse and then come out and have that big, bold, roundness that Chance said and that shakiness that adds to the character. Kala, from day one your commitment to this has been amazing and you know who you are as an artist. I've got a really,really, really tough decision and im hoping someone helps me out here.” he spoke to his judges, “i swear to God this has been sleepless, i didnt sleep a wink last night because of this. Its because ive been on a show like this and i know exactly how it feels to stand there and now that your future is at the hands of someone else.” 

You truly felt bad for Niall as you could see his inner turmoil shining through his eyes. The crowd cheered for him and you hoped it calmed him down a bit. “Niall tough one for you. Who is the winner of this battle?”

Niall pursed his lips and closed his eyes. He rubbed his palms against his legs as he spoke. “The winner,” he said almost sadly, “of this battle is Bleu.” he said looking at you and you knew the look of shock was written on your face before the sting of tears made themselves present. You turned to Kala and hugged her as she told you not to cry. 

You met Niall at the bottom of the stairs and he hugged you tightly. “You did amazing love.” you smiled at him with a shy ‘thank you’ and walked down the stairs.

nbcthevoice

nbcthevoice Bleu takes the win at tonights Battle Rounds

User i hope she wins

User her and niall make my heart happy

user niall looked so sad 🥺

——————

Niall Taglist

@walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @justmeinatree

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

[yesimwriting]

Gloria already raising her eyebrows at Billy and Stu picking Y/n up is me 💀 and them calling Y/n so much over the weekend does make it seem like they care too much, but Gloria isn't positive since 1. She barely knows them and 2. She probably thinks she's being too analytical since she's gotta know they have girlfriends. She probably figures that it's very unlikely that they would try anything if they have girlfriends.

Part of me is like honey, don't u think it's a little weird how much they called? 😭 Don't u think it's weird how they offered you a ride when they knew Gloria could just drive you? But I also understand why she isn't thinking anything of it bc of her concussion and she probably just figures that their just being protective friends. Y/n saw how worried they were in the hospital, it makes sense for her to view them as being overprotective friends since she knows them pretty well.

Them calling Y/n so much and them harassing the receptionist to try to see her at the hospital gives off those protective and caring vibes, so I can't even fault Y/n for brushing it off. Y/n thinks she almost got murdered, so them going out of their way to make sure she gets to school safe fits how Y/n views them. Billy and Stu are constantly teetering on that line of wanting more, but not wanting to scare Y/n off. Y/n's not stupid, it only takes one wrong move to ruin everything.

Also the fact that Billy baby really thought about killing me in ch 1 for 'keeping secrets' ✋ BOY I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST THINK THAT. You and Stu gave me a concussion, your lucky I haven't just decided to makeout with Ray 🙄 keep trying to make me jealous with Sid and Tate and I'm bringing Ray home to meet mom pronto. Side note - Y/n BETTER brush them teeth and use listerine mouthwash after hurling. I know that breath gotta be lowkey musty after that 😭😭

THIS MADE ME SO EXCITED, I TOLD MYSELF THAT I COULD ANSWER THIS ASK AS A REWARD BETWEEN CLASSES AND HOMEWORK LOL (also just an announcement that i really want to finish part 4 today, but i have three assignments due in one class bc my professor is actually insane)

Yes!! Gloria knows! Everything! honestly, we know the real reason Stu and Billy are dating Tatum and Sidney, and that it's all about their big murder plans, but having girlfriends really does make them look less threatening! definitely a plus, especially since Gloria hates the ida of Y/n dating, especially now that Y/n's the same age she was when she got pregnant.

I know Y/n isn't being the smartest rn 😭 (especially considering that she's so smart sometimes!! good head on her shoulders, she just doesn't listen to it when it comes to BIlly and Stu 💀) part of it is her sheltered background when it comes to guys, but most of it is wishful thinking. Billy and Stu are her first good friends in awhile, and yeah, she has Sid and Tatum, but it's different with them. They're doting in a way that she's never experienced, and maybe she's starting to develop a bit of a crush that she will never consciously admit to (which we're about to start seeing in chapter 4!!) and so she smooths everything over, especially because Billy and Stu have a response for everything.

Also I love how you worded the part of them teetering on the line of wanting more, but not wanting to scare Y/n off!! They're manipulative as hell (we know this!!), so that definitely gives them some leeway, and they're taking advantage of the fact that Y/n's in a fragile state. In fact, they want to push her into an even more fragile state (Ghostface might be popping up soon...he's been a little quiet...just saying), because that makes getting what they want easy. After all, it's hard to feel weird about a friend holding your hand and coddling you while a murderer is after you.

ALSO YOUR COMMENTARY AT THE END HAS ME IN TEARS, billy switched up so fast!! i think his mommy issues make him feel betrayed SUPER easily,, so all it takes is one little thing for him to be like wow🙄 i see how you really feel (good thing he's not as impulsive as Stu) but on the bright side!! he only considered killing you for like two seconds, but then decided that he'd likely regret it in the long term!! cute boyfriend material <3 LMAO

honestly maybe Y/n should go off and make them jealous, they're super fake giving her a concussion like that! and during the school year!! acting like people don't have class and homework and grades 🙄

[jkbabiey]

𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑 ⤇ 𝙹𝙹𝙺

Words: 4.7K

Genre: angst; fluff; it's a sad ending y'all

Synopsis: “I'm in love with you and it scares me to death."

Song Rec: 2 kids - Taemin ; to die for - Sam Smith ; r u ok - Tate McRae ; Emotional bruises - Madison Beer ; Selfish - Madison Beer ; i love you - Billie Eilish ; when the party's over - Billie Eilish

Oh, he was so perfect! So freaking flawless you couldn’t take your eyes off him for a second!

You had just got to Hoseok’s party with Yuta, but it seemed, to Jungkook, like he had been staring at you for hours. You hadn’t spared him a look yet, and if he hadn’t stood up from his seat on the couch to greet you, you probably wouldn’t have even known he was there too. You were too busy looking at your boyfriend, all wide-eyed and agape lips, to notice his presence behind you. But then Yuta’s eyes hardened as he crossed eyes with your best friend, and you, of course, noticed his change of behaviour and looked over your shoulder.

“Oh! Hi Kook!” you squealed and immediately threw your arms around his neck. Jungkook quickly enveloped your waist in his muscular arms, lifting you from the floor. “God, I missed you so much these last days! Where have you been?” you asked against the skin of his neck. And Jungkook smiled, discretely taking a sniff from your hair.

“I’ve been where I always am. You’re the one who disappeared,” he said, humorously - but not so much, because he actually meant to throw that in your face, but he wouldn’t stand the idea of making you feel bad over anything, ever.

“Oh God, blame Yuta here!” you said, raising your eyebrows and chuckling softly as he let you back on the floor. “Yuta, this is Jungkook, my best friend.” You presented him, and he held out his hand in Yuta’s direction, out of pure courtesy.

“Hey man,” Yuta muttered and shook his hand, a bit too boldly for Jungkook’s liking. Jungkook smiled at the guy - a very small and not-genuine smile. Any other time, you would have noticed how fake his smile was, but right now, your eyes were on Yuta. None of your attention was aimed at Jungkook.

Before Jungkook noticed, you two were already too immersed in how amazing these last days - without him - had been, he turned around and walked out of the toxic, smoke-ish and noisy environment that had taken over Hoseok’s whole place, betting his ass that you wouldn't notice his absence until the end of the night.

His hands were buried in his pockets and his head hung low. He was praying not to bump into Jin, Taehyung or any other of his closest friends that had also attended the party. His lips were currently being intensely wounded by his front teeth. His eyes stung and he didn’t know why. Then he got to his car, sitting down and letting go a deep breath that he didn’t know he was holding in. Then the tears he also hadn’t noticed to be sheltering in his eyes started to run down his cheeks.

He didn't quite know why he was crying. The only thing he knew was that you were taken. You were completely smitten to some other guy, that wasn’t him and that bothered him in measures he couldn’t have imagined. You were absolutely smitten to someone, who wasn't him.

He had lost his chance. That's why he was crying.

He was a goner.

You were standing there, messy hair, deep dark circles, bare face, large grey sweatpants- that seemed oddly familiar to him, but he decided to ignore that - and a black sweatshirt, in front of him, asking to come in. He stepped away and you came in. Not wasting any time after he closed the door, you grabbed his neck and buried your face on it. He felt the wet patches you were leaving in his thin dark green t-shirt. He held you tight against his body and you sobbed fully. Your cries only intensified when he placed one of his big hands on your head and took his soft lips to your forehead, pecking it.

Then he picked you up, your legs around his waist and your face, still buried in his neck. He took you to his living room, taking a chair and placing it in front of his warm fireplace. He sat on it, you on his lap, holding onto his shoulders. There was nothing better than this spot to calm you down on a cold day. He knew it but he doubted Yuta made any idea of it.

“Have you ever been afraid of losing the love of your life?”

His heart shattered. He could hear it shatter, like a very fragile glass piece. Yuta was the love of your life. What had he to do with that, why were you even here, if your problem was with Yuta?

“You and Yuta argued?”

You hummed, a bit hesitant - the reason unknown to him. He didn’t say anything else. He couldn’t. It was not his place. You just needed a friendly lap to seat on, a couple of warm arms to hold you and a gentle voice to tell you it was alright.

“It’s alright... It’s alright baby...”

That’s exactly what he did.

“This is Soojin, my girlfriend.”

Your eyes widened and a small, surprised smile played on your lips. He hesitated for your answer.

“Hi!” after greeting the beautiful girl that stood next to him holding his hand tight, you moved forward to briefly hug her. “Jungkook, never mentioned you before!”.

Snarky.

Soojin looked at Jungkook, her shy eyes now displayed a small discreet amount of anger.

“Oh... This is pretty recent. That’s why,” Soojin blurted, a nervous laugh erupting right away.

Soojin was a girl he had met about a month ago and she was amazing. Incredibly breathtaking and Jungkook couldn’t adore her more. His crush on you had been long forgotten - or at least he thought it had.

Jungkook thought the dinner was delicious, but still, when you asked what he thought of the dinner he answered ‘it’s good, but yesterday Soojin made some amazing bibimbap, I should have asked her to do it for tonight instead’. And you smiled bitterly and him. No one else noticed the bitterness in your smile, but he did.

Why was he acting this way? Because since he and his new girlfriend got in your apartment, you had established this dumb discreet competition between you and Soojin, making passive-aggressive comments and the poor girl beside him was so notoriously uncomfortable, he felt sorry for bringing her here.

“Soojin, maybe you should visit my hairdresser”

“I know you probably don’t understand since you’ve never been to college, but I’ve been so happy with my grades recently”

“How have you managed to attract someone like Jungkook, I mean... You know what I mean, right?”

So when the dinner was over, he pulled you away by the arm, bringing you to the kitchen and leaving Yuta and Soojin on the balcony, enjoying the view and hopefully sparing Soojin some minutes of your annoyingly mean comments.

“Why are you being such a bitch to Soojin?” he asked, hands on his hips and his eyes raging.

“I’m not,” you furrowed your eyebrows and he laughed ironically.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N.”

“You had never mentioned her before. Who do you think I am, for you to present me some temporary fling you’re having. I’m more important than that! If you want to present me to someone, I want her to be at least stable. Not someone you’ve been dating for 2 weeks!”

“What has time to do with it? I like her, I think she’s worthy enough for you to meet her!”

“C’mon, look at her. She sports the slutty look.” you deadpanned and Jungkook’s eyes widened.

“You’re going too far! Look at Yuta! He’s the typical high school fuckboy!” he whisper-screamed. “You have no moral to talk about Soojin like that!”

“Oh, now he’s defending her!” you ironized and he rubbed his forehead, trying to look for just a little bit more patience. “You didn’t even tell me she was coming! And plus, I don’t have to mandatorily like her!”

“I don’t like Yuta and you don’t hear me talking to him like he's trash, right?”

“Yeah, that’s because he’s not trash, but we can’t say the same for Soojin, can we?”

That was enough. He turned his back on you, going to the balcony in quick steps and grabbing Soojin’s hand in his. He dragged her across your apartment as you stared at him piercingly.

“Babe, what’s going on?” Soojin asked, completely adrift.

“We’re leaving.”

“I haven’t said goodbye yet, kook”

“You don’t need to, we’re not coming back anyway,” he stated as his eyes locked on yours.

Jungkook really didn’t plan on coming back but Soojin broke up with him about a month later, claiming that he was in love with someone else and not bothering to explain further. Needless to say, Jungkook had never been as bewildered and nauseated in his life. He had argued with you, his best friend, to protect Soojin’s dignity, and she dared to say he didn’t love her?!

The only one he could think of to help him figure out what the heck Soojin was referring to with such barbarities, was you. You were the most intelligent and astute person Jungkook had ever met. He was sure you were the only one who could possible help him.

When he showed up at your door, you opened it. No sign of shock or surprise evident on your face in seeing him after your huge argument, because you both knew you two would never be able to stay mad a each other for too long. A month of not talking was a new record.

When he blurted out the reason Soojin had used to break up with him, after sitting down next to you on your couch, your mouth fell agape and your eyes widened.

“What?” you exclaimed as Jungkook shook his head, showing his bewilderment.

“That’s what I said!” he exclaimed back and you looked at the floor, completely confused by what your best friend was telling you. The boy had almost finished his 7-year friendship to defend his new girlfriend. How could she even question his feelings?!

“She’s probably just overthinking something... Maybe she saw you hugging another girl... Or maybe a text on your phone...”

“I didn’t text anyone other than her! Not even you!” he screeched and you scratched your ear, trying to think of some logical reason behind the sudden breakup.

“... Probably, it’s really her overthinking something... Girls do that! I do that, all the time!” you looked at him doubtfully, as he stared back in the same way. “SHE’S INSECURE!” you shouted as the sudden realization, that seemed to be the most logical out of every single theory you had already come up with, came to your mind.

Jungkook widened his eyes, straightening his back as your speculation didn’t seem as automatically disposable as all the others that had come to his mind.

“That’s it!” you continued. “Probably, she’s in one of those times where she doubts every single thing in her body, and she thinks she’s not enough for you! I feel that way too often!”

Jungkook’s expression got serious as he heard the last portion of your speech. “You do?”

It took you a moment to understand what he was asking, but as you saw the worry behind his eyes you quickly figured the context of the question. “Oh... Yeah, I guess it’s pretty normal...”

“You shouldn’t feel that way, you’re pretty amazing...”

You smiled shyly and sent him a sweet gaze, as he quickly returned it. “With Yuta, it’s pretty hard not to doubt me at times. Have you seen the guy? Seems like he came straight out a freaking novel...” you chuckled playfully and Jungkook pushed your shoulder with his.

“And so do you.” And there was Jungkook in his natural element.

“Jungkook! Stop flirting!” you screeched, shyly as your cheeks turned into a dark shade of pink. Jungkook laughed, cringing internally at how cute he found you in that exact moment. He embraced your shoulders in his muscular arms, and you finally looked into his eyes. His face was awfully close and you could feel his breath on your face as a soft smile lingered on his lips.

“Missed you,” he whispered so that only the two of you could hear it, even though no one else was around.

“Missed you,” you whispered back, leaning your forehead to his.

Soojin had taken him back.

She had her reasons to break up with him in the first place, but she couldn’t deny the guy a second chance as he stood by her door, a bouquet of red roses, that you had recommended, in his hand, puppy eyes and pouted lips.

You had found out in the worst of ways.

Crying your heart out, you stood in the elevator, waiting for it to finally come to your destination, your best friend’s apartment floor. When it did, you got out of it, your face smudged with your -supposedly, waterproof - mascara. You knocked and were received by Soojin, in all her beauty, messy hair and no make-up features, wearing Jungkook’s shirt. She was probably busy with something else. She still managed to look extremely gorgeous, and there were you, looking like you had just been run over by a bus.

“Y/N! Are you alright! That’s dumb, of course not! Do you want to come in? Wait a second, I’ll go call Jungkook,” she stated with a genuine expression of worry on her face and a hand on your shoulder.

“No! No, leave it. I’m fine!” you said, grabbing her hand before she could go and call Jungkook. “I’ll just go home. Sorry for interrupting you two!” you smiled, even with your smudged make-up face. “Don’t worry, I’ll just call him later!”

And so you turned your back on her, as you felt her worried look on your back.

“Oh! And I’m sorry about how I treated you last time...” You turned back to her, sending an apologetic smile her way.

“Don’t worry about that...” she muttered and smiled back.

It was obvious why Jungkook liked her so much.

“What happened yesterday?!” Jungkook shouted as soon as you opened the door, exactly 7:54 AM and the guy was already standing by your door.

“You didn’t tell me you and Soojin were back together...”

“Not what I asked,” he said back, impatient.

“I wasn’t answering you either,” you mocked and he sent you an annoyed look. “Don’t worry about last night. I’m fine now.”

“I just want to know what happened. Not even worried...” he said and you laughed at how sarcastic he could be at times.

“Yuta and I broke up,” you said and Jungkook’s eyes widened. “He cheated. A drunk night out.”

“Son of a bitch...” he muttered and you quickly enveloped his face with your hands, bringing his eyes to yours.

“I’m fine, really. No need to get mad” you chuckled a bit. Jungkook stared at you for a while, before holding your hands and kissing both of them.

“You deserve so much better. Please don’t settle for someone like him.”

“I won’t,” you smiled and he smiled back.

He spent the rest of the day with you. Both laying on the sofa, holding onto each other, and watching movies, with a huge bowl of the sweetest popcorn you could have managed.

“I’m 25...” you muttered out of nowhere and Jungkook hummed back, his face snuggled by the side of your neck, his arms around your waist and his chest against your back.

“And?”

“I want to get married someday and now I don't have a boyfriend,” you muttered once again.

“Were you really planning on marrying that piece of shit?”

“I didn’t know he was a piece of shit.”

“You don’t need to get married now. You’re still young. You’ll find a great guy, who knows how to truly value you as the woman you are,” he said, before softly kissing the skin of your neck, where his cheek was previously resting on.

"Soojin’s a lucky girl,” you said, smiling, after few silent moments.

She really was a lucky girl.

A few years later

“Would you marry me?”

Your eyes widened, quickly averting to your best friend, kneeled down in front of his 3-year girlfriend. He was glowing. A wide perfectly white smile played on his lips as he stared up at Soojin with eyes that shone brighter than ever. She was speechless - very much like you. Her hands covered her mouth and her eyes were starting to get wet with tears. The answer that followed was obvious.

“Yes!”

There it was. She threw her arms around Jungkook’s neck, as he stood up and enveloped her slim waist in his embrace. She was crying already and he chuckled lightly at the emotional mess his girlfriend was.

You weren't expecting this. But you should have. Jungkook hadn't talked to you about this or left you any clue about it, but still, he was 28 years old. You could see the shine of his eyes getting brighter each time he looked at her, every passing day. They were in love and their relationship was stronger each day.

Your whole group of friends manifested their happiness. Jimin had tears in his eyes from how happy he was seeing that the youngest of the group was finally settling down for life. Namjoon clapped his hands, smirking proudly at the youngest. You could swear you’d seen Jin, that stood next to Namjoon also clapping his hands, winking to his friend when their eyes crossed. Yeri whistled loudly along with Taehyung, while Irene laughed at her friends’ foolishness.

Mingyu, quite unaware of the mess the living room held, kept his eyes secured on you, smiling. When you caught his gaze, you sent him a tiny smile back - the first since the heartfelt proposal. You averted your eyes back to the couple holding each other in the middle of the room and when they parted their embrace, Jungkook’s eyes locked on yours. You weren’t smiling as he expected you to be. You didn’t even seem to be happy for him. He smiled anyway, and you, in all your effort, winked playfully at him, as you turned your back on him. You grabbed a cup of champagne and walked towards the balcony, being interrupted by the male hand that suddenly grabbed your waist.

“We’re next,” you heard Mingyu whisper in your ear. You looked back, grabbing his hand and lightly squeezing it.

“You bet,” you answered playfully and smiled brightly at him.

Mingyu was your boyfriend. You had been dating him for 2 years now and he was great. Jungkook had presented him to you at a home party. You still remember complaining to him about having to watch him and Soojin being all couply while you still spent the night laying in bed and watching romances. The week after your complaints he took you to a party and introduced you to this really nice and good-looking guy, which happened to be his friend, named Mingyu. Mingyu was a few months older than you and he had just started to work as a lawyer. He was already introduced to your family and they all loved him, dismissing your sister's daily comments that claimed her disappointment because she thought you 'would end u with your Jungkook'.

When Mingyu let go of you to go hang out with the rest of your friends, you reached the balcony, closing the door behind you, leaning on the glass balcony and gazing at the amazing view your friend Irene had got when she bought this new apartment with Jin, her boyfriend. Your hair, being wildly swept by the wind, was a mess, but you could care less. Your eyes were teary, you didn't really know why though. Something about Jungkook getting married left a huge ball of emotions sitting on your chest. What bothered you is that even knowing Soojin was an amazing girl and Jungkook would be happy with her, you weren't particularly happy with the news. You knew this could as well turn you into a very shitty best friend, and that's why you thought you wouldn't really be able to talk to Jungkook without catching a breath of fresh air first. Without noticing the tears you had been previously sheltering in your eyes, were now running down your cheeks.

You sobbed and quickly wiped the tears away when you heard the balcony doors opening and closing again. It was Jungkook, you knew it when you felt the warm presence you'd gotten used to after 9 years.

"Hey," he muttered.

You didn't answer, afraid your voice would fail you and just kept staring forwards, feeling Jungkook's gaze on you. You knew he knew you had been crying. He was a master when it came to figuring it out.

"So... you're getting married now hum?" you commented, once your vocal cords seemed stable enough.

"Right," he answered, and you looked at your side, not bothering to hide your puffy eyes. "What do you think of that?" he asked you and you looked down at your hands.

"You know... If you're happy, I'm happy," you said and he chuckled.

"Of course," Jungkook mimicked your actions, looking down as well. You two stayed quiet for some time, as the starry night sky shined down on you.

"You look amazing tonight, by the way," he remarked. "Didn't get the chance to te-"

"You didn't tell me you were going to propose," you interrupted him, looking back at him. There wasn't a shy smile on your lips or a polite gaze on your eyes. All Jungkook could see in your expression was hurt.

"I don't have to tell you every little thing going on in my life," he answered, putting up his defensive side.

"This is not little! This is marriage," you exclaimed and stared at him. He stared down and stayed quiet.

"Mingyu told me he's going to propose too," he announced and you widened your eyes. Not that you hadn't thought about it. Mingyu had commented a lot of times he wanted to make you his wife and build a family with you. But still, it was big news for you.

"I'm sure you weren't supposed to tell me that."

"Are you going to say yes?" he asked and stared at you.

You stared back at him and for once in that night, your eyes met for more than a minute. There was a silent plead present in his eyes that you couldn't really figure out. He sighed and got closer to you, your arms rubbing against each other. You lay your head down on his shoulder and he shortly kissed your forehead.

"Y/n..." he whispered, and you hummed back, still not answering his previous question. "I can... go back. If you... want me to."

"If you love her, then you should marry her," you answered right away, not wanting to hold your best friend back from marrying the girl he loves.

He kept quiet and so did you.

"Are you going to say yes?" he repeated his previous question and you shot your head up, looking straight in his eyes.

"You know... I've always thought of you as the love of my life."

Jungkook's eyes widened as you chuckled. That's when it came to him. That night, you were afraid of losing him, not Yuta.

"I've always been told I should marry the love of my life. But I don't think I can marry you now that you're already married," you stated playfully, but Jungkook's stare was serious. "Mingyu is amazing, really. I worship him. But how do I know if I love him enough to marry him?" you asked, looking up to find Jungkook already staring at you, a mix of different emotions present in his eyes. "How did you know you loved Soojin enough to marry her?" you asked again and Jungkook looked down.

"Well... I like her almost as much as I love you," he whispered loud enough for only you to listen. "And I think that's a whole lot."

"Do you love her, though?" you asked, absolutely perplexed at his answer.

He smiled lightly and sighted.

"You just don't get it, do you?" he whispered.

He stood up straight, turning his back on you and walking back towards the door.

"Why don't you just tell me then?" you said a bit louder than you had talked the whole night.

He looked back at you, over his shoulder, his hand already on the door handle. He chuckled lowly, what sounded like a sarcastic chuckle, before turning back to you and taking two steps forward. Somehow, his expression had changed and you weren't sure how to read it now. He was bitter.

"You want me to tell you? I just proposed and you have the guts to get sad because I'm marrying Soojin??

"I'm not s-"

"Shut up! Just... Shut up." he begged ironically and you stood quiet, he sighed angrily and looked to his left, avoiding looking at you.

"Maybe you should step away... At least for a while."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Jungkook you're getting married. I can't miss that. I won't miss that!"

"Exactly!" he screamed suddenly and walked quickly towards you. He had never been this angry in front of you and it scared you that you were the reason for his anger. His face was inches away from yours and you could feel his quick breath fanning over your lips. "I'm getting married to Soojin but all I can think about is if I should have proposed to you!" he whispered in your face and you could see his eyes watering, very much like you could feel yours do the same. “You know why I proposed so suddenly? Because Mingyu told me he was going to propose to you and I didn’t want to be the only one feeling miserable!”

"J-Jungkook..." you sighed and Jungkook let his tears fall, furrowing his eyebrows in pure anguish, as he nestled his face on your neck, crying silently. He enveloped your body in his arms and you quickly did the same.

"I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I-I'm in love with you and it scares me to death," he sobbed and your grip on him tightened.

"It's alright... I'm right here..."

You two stayed in that same position for a while, until he calmed down and his sobs stopped.

"What do I do now?" he asked, still laying his head on your chest.

"You do whatever makes you happy," you answered and he kissed your neck, and action that, from him, was already usual.

"Hubby! Can we go home?" Soojin opened the balcony's door, chuckling at the new nickname. Jungkook quickly stepped back and wiped the stray tears on his cheeks away. Sensing your stare on him, he sent you a tiny smile.

Soojin caught your gaze from behind Jungkook's shoulder and sent you a smile, which you retributed.

"Yes babe, let's go..." Jungkook answered after a while. He looked at you, the deepest look in his eyes that you had ever seen. He cupped your cheek as you two heard Soojin walking back inside, to say her goodbyes. “I’ll go now.”

“Please, don’t do this. If you don’t want to marry her, you don’t have to.”

“What do you want?”

You didn’t answer, opting to roll your arms tightly around his neck, as he held your waist, bringing your body impossibly closer to his.

“I love you, Jungkook,” you whispered. “, but this is a decision you have to make.”

And he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to break all the promises he had made to Soojin this past three years. He wasn’t ready to admit that all she was was a way to get to you. He wasn’t ready to admit that at some point in his life he had become a worthless and selfish jerk and that his life had been diminished to you. He wasn’t ready to break every single ethical moral and principle that he had been trying to live by all his life. This decision didn’t come to him, and only him. It came to you, to Soojin, to Mingyu and to everyone surrounding the four of you. It wasn’t his right to break his friends’ hearts and he wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it.

“I’m sorry.”

And he walked away.

[thefaultinourdefault-blog]

When People are Temporary

Growing up, I never knew my dad, and my mom was in college when she had me, so she was often preoccupied. I spent most of my time being raised by my Grandma, Aunt, and my older cousin, Drake, (who was like a big brother figure to me). When I did spend time with my mom though, it was hardly ever just her. There was always another man with her, and the same man never stuck around for long. When I was little I thought that was the way that things were supposed to be. My goal in life should be to find a man.

At the time that I started my second kindergarten, I moved in with my Grandma permanently and she got custody. I didn't understand the situation at the time.

Starting in the first grade, every year I would try to find a boy to have a "crush on". I missed my mom. I didn't understand my mom, and yet I still wanted to be like her. I still wanted her approval. So at the age of seven I decided that my worth was measured in what boys thought of me.

That year my older-brother cousin Drake passed away in a car accident. I had never felt more alone.

In the second grade we moved to a new house (well okay, it was a mobile home), and I now had neighbors around my age. We'll refer to them as Tate and his older sister Lana. I always thought that Lana was pretty and it was cool that someone two years older than me wanted to be my friend. Eventually, however, Lana grew out of me and so I spent most of my time hanging out with only Tate. Since it was abnormal for boys and girls to be friends back then, I decided that I must have a crush on him. Lana and my friends from school would tease us and say that we were dating, and I went along with it because it made me feel cool. But eventually Tate and I stopped talking and hanging out too.

In music class, my teacher told us all that we were too young to understand feelings and crushes. She was right of course, second grade is far to young for crushes to have mattered as much as they did, but ironically, it was in her music class that I discovered my first ever real crush. We'll call her Cecily and we were seat buddies. We'd kick each other under our chairs and giggle, and we even rode the same bus. We would also eat lunch together and over lunch she once told me that she had a crush on a kid named Peter. (He was a kid in our class who seriously believed that he was truly spiderman, hence my decision to call him Peter.) I thought spiderman was cool, so I agreed "me too". And I enjoyed the fact that we were able to find over having the same "crush". But eventually, Cecily told me that she had to move to a different state. We sat together on the bus, even though it wasn't our assigned seats, and cried her whole way home.

In the third grade, a disease spread around my school. We called it Bieber Fever, and I was not immune. I thought that the way he dressed was really cool, so when I got to buy new shoes, I asked for the kind that Justin Bieber would wear. I idolized him like a big brother and since I didn't know my dad, I pretended that I was Justin Bieber's long lost sister. (Lots of girls in school wanted to be my friend after that.) Most girls kissed pictures of him in magazines, but I was always different.

I felt really alone in the third grade. Some good things were happening, my other cousin Astrid had just moved to my school and I was thrilled. I also made some new friends, but after losing Drake, having Cecily move away, and on top of it having my mom move away to a different state with my new-born baby sister, Maria; I felt abandoned and easily replaceable. I realized that people are sometimes only temporary, and that terrified me. That's a lot to feel for a 9 year old, so my grandma put me in counseling. It didn't help, but I pretended that it did.

And then suddenly Tate found his way back into my friend-circle and people started calling us boyfriend and girlfriend. I liked the sound of it. It sounded a lot less temporary. The boyfriend-girlfriend thing lasted two years before Tate broke up with me because I was "fat and ugly". Little kids can be assholes. But anyways, it didn't matter because by now I was doing school online so it was easier to avoid him. And even more importantly, that whole "uncontrollable butterflies" feeling that some girls were starting to talk about, was something that I never felt about Tate or any of my crushes.

Then I learned that Tate and Lana were moving to Florida, and not much later I got a knock on my front door. Lana had stopped by to say goodbye, much to my surprise. I felt nervous for reasons that I couldn't put my finger on. She was even older now, and prettier too. And then, she complimented me on something so stupid. She looked down at my golden Justin Bieber inspired sneakers and said something like "the way you tie your shoes is so pretty. I can never get my laces to look that nice" And then for the first time, over something so random and stupid, I felt the uncontrollable butterflies. (And yes, I now realize the irony of the whole "I like your shoelaces" Tumblr code for lesbians. The universe was foreshadowing hardcore.)

My new feelings terrified me. I was supposed to get butterflies in my stomach for boys, not girls. This was before I really knew what gay or lesbian even was, and I felt so abnormal and wrong. I silently cried myself to sleep that night and prayed to God that he would make sure that I grew up to like boys. Only boys. The next morning I woke up and pretended like nothing had ever happened. I never told anyone about my feelings, I was ashamed of them, and so I willed myself to forget that there was the possibility that I might be different.

This chapter of my journal was originally part of an open-letter that I wrote to my mom. My mom is one of the only people I know of in my family that supports gay rights, and my Grandma is pretty against that type of thing. My mom was supposed to come to my state this weekend so I could see her for the first time in months, and I had planned on coming out to her. However, once again, (like she has many times throughout my childhood for school plays and basketball games) she cancelled last minute. And now, my perfect coming out moment has been taken away from me. Not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed.

So for today's exit ticket, I'd just like to know if any of you feel like how I do now? Have you ever felt like the perfect coming out moment will never come?

Singing Off,

~R