#Also the formatting isn't a complete nightmare and I am LIVIIIIIING

[slusheeduck]

The Way You Keep Me Guessing: Coco Teacher!AU

@im-fairly-whitty and I are co-authoring this fic for the monster that is the Coco teacher!AU!!

(AU started by @scribblrhob, with inspiration from @upperstories, @hyucktor and SO SO MANY OTHERS AND IT’S A MAGICAL EXPERIENCE FOR ALL.)

Warning: I got creative with formatting and POV in this chapter, so I have no idea how it reads to someone who’s not me. Hopefully you enjoy!!

[Part 1: Unexpected Responsibility] [Part 2: La Directora] [Part 3: Skipping Class] [Part 4: An Unannounced Visit] [Part 5: The Roommate][Part 6: Día de Muertos (Pt. 1)] [Part 6: Día de Muertos (Pt. 2)]

Part 7: A Birthday Livestream

               The tweet goes out late on the 29th. Even so, by 6:45 a.m. the next day, the stream is packed. The cheery little “Stream will start soon!” sign is up, and the chat is already lighting up with thoughts about what the surprise stream’s going to be.

Littlebear119: I bet they’re releasing a new album!

veramaj: then héctor wouldn’t be surprised tho

Littlebear119: Truuuuuueee.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Do…you guys not know what day it is?

veramaj: what?

Littlebear119: It’s Sunday?

hectorriveraseyelashes: omg you guys don’t know lmao. Preciosooooos.

               The chat quickly devolves into “CRUUUUUZ” and “NESTO HI NESTO <3” as the stream switches on. The screen’s fairly dark, but Ernesto’s face is just visible as he whispers to the camera.

               “Hola, Cruzcitos. So I know a lot of you were upset that Héctor couldn’t be there with us on Día de Muertos.”

               There’s a general burst of agreement from the chat.

               “I know, I know.  So, since we couldn’t spend the day with you, I figured you all could spend the day with us.”

               There are several crying-face emojis and “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”s in the chat.

               “And today’s no ordinary day. I’m sure some of you know it’s my amigo Héctor’s birthday today. So, Cruzcitos, we need to start the day off properly.” He switched the camera to face forward as he slowly opened the door. Beneath a heap of blankets, a gangly leg hung off the bed and a lanky arm was slung over a pillow. “Mira mira, here’s our Sleeping Beauty now,” Ernesto whispers as he creeps into the room. “And there’s only one way to wake someone up on their birthday.”

               The chat goes quiet as Ernesto sucks in a deep breath. He pauses when Héctor shifts beneath the blankets. Then, once he goes still…

                                       “ESTAS SON LAS MAÑANITAS                                        QUE CANTABA EL REY DAVID…”

               Héctor flies up off the bed as Ernesto belts “Las Mañanitas” as loud as he can, and immediately a pillow is thrown toward the camera.

               “Tú maldito hijo d—!!”

               “There are children watching this, Héctor!”

               “It is seven in the morning, tú pin—”

               “Cruzcitos, cover your ears!” A sweatshirt collides against the camera; both Ernesto and the chat are dying.

Littlebear119: OMGGGGGGG

musiica-vida: lmao

p0c0l0c0: I CAN’T BREATH OH MY GOD

veramaj: pobre hector but rip cruz

               The camera jostles as a thud that sounds suspiciously like a shoe hitting a wall rings out, and it quickly turns as Ernesto runs out and shuts the door. He switches the camera back to face him, a big grin still on his face.

               “So our Héctor might not be much of a morning person. But our celebration of Héctor’s birthday is just starting; come back around eleven for the next stream.” Ernesto ends the stream with his trademark wink and smile.

Littlebear119: Aw, boo, I can’t come to the next one :’(

p0c0l0c0: Don’t worry someone’ll record it.

hectorriveraseyelashes: I hope poor Héctor gets to sleep a little bit more.

~

               The next stream starts promptly at eleven. Another chorus of “HI NESTO!!!” and “CRUUUUZ” fills the chat, but Ernesto looks none-too-pleased. He lets out a sigh before sending a withering look to the camera.

               “So Cruzcitos, tell me this. What do you think is the best way to spend your birthday?”

               The chat rings in their answers.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Backstage passes to one of your shows.

hectorriveraseyelashes: And getting to pet Héctor’s hair for an hour.

veramaj: a nice dinner with my bf

musiica-vida: UM SORRY WHAT @hectorriveraseyelashes

hectorriveraseyelashes: You heard me.

Cruzita41: I would party ALL DAY!!!

               Ernesto nods at the answers that pour in (He does a double-take at one of them, and the chat is generally certain it’s hectorriveraseyelashes that earned it.), then huffs and shakes his head.

               “See, you all have good ideas on how to spend your birthdays. But Héctor…my friend Héctor decides that the best way to spend his birthday—”

               He turns the camera around, and the punchline of his joke is lost in the chat’s reaction.

musiica-vida: GLASSES?????

Cruzita41: GLASSES!!!!!

veramaj: since when does hector wear glasses?????

p0c0l0c0: GLASSES

musiica-vida: @HÉCTOR PLZ WEAR YOUR GLASSES ALL THE TIME

(hectorriveraseyelashes merely posts several crying faces and prayer hands)

               Héctor is tucked up on the sofa, green pen in hand and thick-framed glasses on his nose as he goes through several papers. Ernesto snorts as the reactions come in.

               “Héctor, look up.”

               Héctor sighs, but does in fact look up. “What?” he asks exasperatedly. (hectorriveraseyelashes floods the chat with various heart, crying, and prayer emojis)

               “Apparently you should wear your glasses more often.”

               “No.”

               (The disappointment in the chat is almost audible.)

               Ernesto sighs. “Sorry, Cruzcitos, but as you can see, Héctor Rivera is a tough man to sway. He won’t wear his glasses, and he spends his birthday grading papers.”

               “Well, they need to be graded by Monday. Do you have to shove that in my face? It’s hard enough reading these kids’ writing without a phone in my face.”

badnugg: omg profe héctor is actually youtube famous

musiica-vida: HE’S YOUR TEACHER??

badnugg: lol yeah

p0c0l0c0: IS HE A GOOD TEACHER???

hectorriveraseyelashes: IS HE HOT WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT MUSIC??

Littlebear119: I’m back!

Littlebear119: WAIT IS HÉCTOR WEARING GLASSES

veramaj: lol u missed a lot bear

               “Hey, Héctor, I think one of your students…” Ernesto trails off as the sound of a door opening comes from a distance. Héctor immediately perks up and smiles off screen.

               “Morning, chamaco. We’re going out for breakfast once I’m finished with these papers.”

musiica-vida: CHAMACO!!!!

p0c0l0c0: HI CHAMACO!!!

 Littlebear119: Who’s Chamaco?

hectorriveraseyelashes: It’s baby Héctor.

Cruzita41: Aww, did he just wake up? Buenos días, chamaco!!

Littlebear119: BABY HÉCTOR??

veramaj: it’s his nephew.

musiica-vida: Preeeetty sure he’s his kid. They look like exactly alike.

hectorriveraseyelashes: They definitely don’t. Also he calls Héctor Tío so checkmate.

Littlebear119: OH!!! HE’S SO CUTE!!!

               “The chat thinks you’re cute, Miguel,” Ernesto says as Miguel walks on-screen. Miguel sends him a surprised look and a shrug.

               “Thanks?”

               “Oyé, what did I say about filming Miguel?” Héctor asks, voice slightly sharp.

               “The kid has his own channel, it’s not like you’re hiding him,” Ernesto brushes off, then focuses the camera on Miguel. “So, Miguel, do you know what day it is?”

               “Uh, Sunday?”

               “Okay, but do you know the date?”

               Miguel presses his lips together, then looks down at Héctor for help. Héctor’s head falls back as he sighs.

               “It’s my birthday. Ernesto’s making it into a…thing.”

               Miguel’s eyes widen. “It’s your birthday?! Why didn’t you say anything?”

               “Because Héctor hates having fun,” Ernesto cuts in. “So Miguel, what do you want to wish your Tío Héctor on this very special day? He’s twenty-seven, you know.”

               Miguel blinks. “Oh. That’s how old you are?”

               Héctor returns to grading. “How old did you think I was?”

               “Super old. Like thirty-five.”

               The snort Héctor lets out is deemed pure and good by the chat.

               “Thirty-five?! Ay, Díos mio, then how old do you think Ernesto is?”

               “Anyway, Cruzcitos,” Ernesto says before Miguel can hazard a guess. “What are some of your wishes for Héctor’s twenty-seventh year on this earth?”

Cruzita41: I hope he has a wonderful year!!

p0c0l0c0: I hope he doesn’t join the 27 club :(

veramaj: what’s that?

Littlebear119: I hope you guys really make it big!! Being a teacher looks so boring

p0c0l0c0: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club

p0c0l0c0: Did the link work?

Littlebear119: OH NO :’(

veramaj: HÉCTOR PLEASE DON’T JOIN THAT CLUB

(hectorriveraseyelashes’ wish for Héctor is reported as inappropriate by several members.)

p0c0l0c0: Lashes plz

               “Aw, qué amable! Well, we are trying our best to get more gigs and…”

               Ernesto’s words are ignored, viewers instead focused on Miguel as he climbs onto the arm of the sofa and peeks down at what Héctor’s grading. Several heart emojis flood the chat as they talk too quietly to be heard over Ernesto’s talking. Héctor asks something, Miguel pulls a face, and Héctor laughs as he pulls off his glasses (much to the disappointment of the chat.)

               “All right, all right, I won’t let you starve, chamaco. I’ll bring these with me.” As he stuffs his papers into his backpack, he sends the camera with a withering look. “And if you bring out that—” The chat doesn’t miss the quick glance toward Miguel. “--darn phone while we’re out, Ernesto, I’m throwing it right into the street.”

               “And then you’re paying for it.” The camera switches back to Ernesto, where he gives a dramatic sigh. “Looks like that’s all for now, Cruzcitos.” He glances up as Héctor and Miguel’s voices trail off and a door shuts. He smiles, then adds in a whisper, “Come back around two. We’ll be having another stream then.”

               The screen goes black, and the chat is all abuzz.

Littlebear119: Héctor really doesn’t seem like he wants to do these streams…

p0c0l0c0: It’s part of an act they do. Héctor’s all smiles on whenever he’s on Chamaco’s channel.

Littlebear119: CHAMACO HAS A CHANNEL???

p0c0l0c0: YES AND IT’S THE SWEETEST THING.

p0c0l0c0: My heart grows three times bigger whenever I get a notification from him.

veramaj: yeah héctor’s definitely just playing.

Littlebear119: I hope he is.

hectorriveraseyelashes: I don’t care if he is. I’ll take any excuse to see that man’s beautiful face.

musiica-vida: WE KNOW, LASHES.

~

               The next stream starts without so much as a word from Ernesto. The chat goes quiet as the camera focuses on Héctor and Miguel. Both have their guitars in their lap, and Héctor picks out a simple tune.

               “Okay, no looking. See if you can play what I just did.”

               Miguel starts to pluck out the same tune, but he groans as he messes up a note. “It’s so hard!”

               “I know it’s hard, that’s why we’re practicing. You gotta train those ears just as much as your fingers, chamaco.” He plays the tune again. “All right, una vez más. I bet you’ll get it this time.”

querida9512: Can Héctor Rivera please be my dad?

p0c0l0c0: This is SO CUTE, I can’t handle it. Gracias, Nesto.

Littlebear119: Does Héctor know Ernesto’s filming?

veramaj: probably.

musiica-vida: It doesn’t seem like it, but I’m sure he doesn’t mind.

               A knock sounds out. Héctor doesn’t look up.

               “It’s open! All right, chamaco, play it one more time.” He turns and grins from his place on the floor as a woman pops her head in. “You’re just in time, diosa, Miguel’s just learned a song by ear.”

               The chat is a STREAM of activity.

querida9512: IS THAT THE POCO LOCO LADY???

hectorriveraseyelashes: Um, I am the Poco Loco lady.

Littlebear119: Diosa’s such a pretty name!

badnugg: wait, dire imelda?

querida9512: YOU KNOW HER????

badnugg: I think she’s the directora of my school…

badnugg: omg

badnugg: téodora was right about her and profe héctor

veramaj: she’s so pretty, she can’t work at a school

p0c0l0c0: Héctor works at a school.

veramaj: but she’s actually PRETTY.

p0c0l0c0: ARE YOU SAYING HÉCTOR ISN’T???

hectorriveraseyelashes: The rule in this stream is that we love and respect Héctor Rivera’s beautiful face.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Can we block @veramaj?

veramaj: omg u guys chill out

               Diosa smiles fondly as Miguel picks out the tune, correctly this time. (The chat is full of praise for him.) “Perfecto, Miguel. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you remembered that our reservations are at—” She glances up midway through the sentence, then freezes as her eyes lock onto the camera. She quickly pops her head out and slams the door shut.

               Héctor jumps at the slam, then glances down at Miguel before setting his guitar aside to get to his feet. “Imelda? Imelda!” he calls as he heads to the door and steps outside.

               Miguel’s brow furrows, but he looks up at the camera with a shrug. The camera moves slowly to the door, and the barest bits of conversation can be heard through it.

               “Why didn’t you warn me? I would have texted you.”

               “Warn you about what?”

               “That your roommate was filming.”

               “What? No, he wasn’t.”  

               “Did you not see the way he was holding his phone?”

               “He just does that sometimes.”

               “Well, why don’t you go and ask him?”

               “He wasn’t filming! He knows he has to ask before filming if Miguel’s in the room.”

               “He doesn’t have to ask with you?”

               “It’s different. This is what we make part of our living off of. I’m used to it by now.”

               There was an irritated huff. “I can’t help you there. But you’d better be taking care of that little boy.”

               “I am, Imelda.”

               A thrill goes through the chat as Héctor’s voice, quiet as it is, goes sharp, though everyone quickly quiets as they hear his sigh.

               “I’m sorry. It’s…been a long day. Would you believe I woke up at seven?”

               There’s murmuring outside, but it’s too quiet to be picked up by the mic. What is picked up is the creak of a doorknob and a bitten-off word from Ernesto before the screen quickly goes black.

p0c0l0c0: So…he didn’t ask permission?

Littlebear119: I thought it was off.

dlcswaifu: I’m sure it’s fine. Cruz probably thought Héctor knew.

veramaj: i hope so. i don’t want them to fight.

~

               There’s no announcement when the next stream is, so everyone is pleasantly surprised when they get a notification that Ernesto y Héctor is streaming an hour later. The first thing everyone sees is…

p0c0l0c0: CHAMACO!!!!

Cruzita41: CHAMACOOOOOO

Littlebear119: AAAAA it’s Miguelito!!!!

veramaj: omg look at that precious face.

               Miguel’s brow furrows as he tries to figure out how to best hold the phone, but he grins at everyone’s greetings. “Hola! Cruz let me take over the livestream for a little bit!”

Littlebear119: OH MY GOODNESS HOW PRECIOUS!!!

veramaj: we’ve been blessed today

querida9512: I mean we already knew November 30 was a holy day.

musiica-vida: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

p0c0l0c0: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

veramaj: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

dlcswaifu: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

hectorriveraseyelashes: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS SHUT UP

hectorriveraseyelashes: Of course I’ll be good. My future step-son doesn’t need to know how thirsty I am for his tío.

               Miguel’s eyes dart down to the chat, reading the responses before frowning slightly. “Um, I don’t think you can drink my tío.”

               The chat collectively dies.

Littlebear119: So how are you doing, Miguel????

Cruzita41: We saw your practice earlier, you’re so good!!

dlcswaifu: Where’s Cruz???

               Miguel grins brightly as he catches the praise among the questions, then settles back in his seat. “I’m fine. Tío Héctor said that he and Cruz needed to talk for a bit, so Cruz set me up here so I could talk with you all!”

               There’s one comment from quetzalcoatl-kun about how they came for Cruz and not some stupid kid, but it’s quickly drowned out by the wild enthusiasm from other Cruzcitos over how they get to talk to Chamaco.

 musiica-vida: So big fandom question, are you Héctor’s kid or his nephew?

               “Actually, we’re primos! My abuelita is his tía,” Miguel chirps.

dlcswaifu: So do you live with him?

               “I do for now.”

dlcswaifu: Why?

               Miguel opens his mouth, but closes it and swallows hard without answering. The chat is quick to flood him with other questions.

p0c0l0c0: Is your tío a good teacher?

querida9512: You’re a fan of Cruz, too, right? What’s it like living with your YouTube idol?

hectorriveraseyelashes: On a scale of 1-10 how willing would you be to have me be your new tía?

veramaj: have u been to any of their concerts yet?

hectorriveraseyelashes: There hasn’t been a concert with both of them since Chamaco came around.

musiica-vida: Not that we mind! It’s so sweet to see Héctor taking care of his primo <3

veramaj: he could have gone to one before he lived with héctor

Littlebear119: What’s your favorite subject in school, Miguel?

querida9512: And when’s the next update on your channel?

               “Espera, espera, this is a lot!” Miguel laughs, discomfort gone as he scrolls up through the chat. “Tío Héctor’s a really good teacher, even though he keeps making me do boring things like scales. I used to watch Cruz’s videos to figure out how to play better, but now I can just ask him!” He scrolls a little more. “I really like math. Is that weird? Oh! And P.E.! I’m definitely the fastest on my class’s fútbol team.” He shrugs. “And I don’t really know about updates, I—” He stops suddenly, glancing up as a sharp voice comes from somewhere, just loud enough to be picked up over the mic. “I, uh…” He glances back at the phone. “One second.”

               He sets the phone down, livestream still going on. A creaking door is picked up over the mic, and the two voices are a little clearer. Nearly every viewer turns up their volume to max to catch what’s being said.

               “You’re absolutely sure you weren’t filming?”

               “Honestly, Héctor, it’s not like I can do it by accident. You’ve gotten so paranoid since bringing in the kid.”

               “I’m his godfather. I’m supposed to be.” A frustrated sigh. “Look, I’m done, okay? I don’t want anymore filming today. Just let me enjoy my birthday in peace.”

               “We wouldn’t have to do this if you’d come to the Día de Muertos show, you know.”

               “But you couldn’t even ask me before you burst in at seven a.m.?”

               “It wouldn’t have been funny if you knew. And it’s gotten us a stable audience all day.” There’s a beat of silence, then a long sigh. “Look, I’m sorry you’re bothered. I thought you’d be more game for this. Guess I was wrong.”

               “It’s…it’s fine. Just no more filming Miguel unless I know.”

               “I didn’t.”

               “I know, but you might. And if I find that damned iPhone around him I swear…”

               Miguel gives a little gasp, and quick footsteps come back toward the phone before he’s back onscreen.

               “Gotta go! I’ll see you all around!” he says, then quickly ends the livestream.

Littlebear119: So Héctor really didn’t know…

musiica-vida: Did…Ernesto lie to him?

dlcswaifu: He probably didn’t know he was filming.

querida9512: But he just said that he couldn’t do it by accident.

dlcswaifu: I’ve done a lot of dumb things by accident without knowing I could. He’ll probably delete the footage once he realizes.

veramaj: i think it’s scripted. cruz’s done drama things in the past; maybe the views are down.

musiica-vida: Ooh, that’s a good point. I think you’re right.

dlcswaifu: Nothing gets views like a fight and a kid.

Littlebear119: :/ I dunno. I feel weird about this stream.

~

               The last livestream comes late that afternoon. Once again, there’s no notice before the notification goes off on everyone’s phone, and everyone who can manages to pile in to the chat as quickly as possible.

               There’s a general air of confusion as they get a very nice shot of the kitchen.

               “Is it recording now?” Héctor asks off-screen.

               “I can’t see. Is there a red circle?” comes Miguel’s voice. The camera tilts, shifting the view to the ceiling. “Yeah, it’s recording, but you’ve got the wrong camera on.”

               “How do I change it?”

               “You see that camera button? Just tap it.”

               “Just tap—” The camera abruptly switches to selfie-mode, and Héctor’s obviously startled by it. “Ah! Okay! Okay, there we go. Hola!”

               The chat is FULL of heart emojis and !!!!!!!!!!!!!’s.

p0c0l0c0: FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, HÉCTOR!!!!

musiica-vida: FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!!!!

Littlebear119: FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!! <3 <3 <3

(Needless to say, the chat is flooded with “FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS”es.)

Héctor looks caught off-guard by the response, then laughs. “Gracias, gracias! I’m, ah, I’m not really good with this whole livestreaming thing, but I wanted to thank you all for such wonderful wishes!”

musiica-vida: IT’S NOTHING WE LOVE YOU HÉCTOR <3 <3 <3

hectorriveraseyelashes: That blazer tho…

Littlebear119: We all hope you had a wonderful day!!!!

               “That’s, ah, that’s really all I have to say. I actually have to leave in…” He glances off-camera. “Now. But I wanted to let you all know that I appreciate your…” He trails off as the chat bursts to life again.

hectorriveraseyelashes: GLASSES.

p0c0l0c0: YES PLEASE WEAR YOUR GLASSES.

p0c0l0c0: JUST FOR A SECOND.

musiica-vida: HÉCTOR PLZ. DO IT FOR US.

hectorriveraseyelashes: GLASSESSSSS…

               He sighs as he looks over the chat. “Diosa, look at this.”

               The woman from earlier (“IMELDA!!!” as musiica-vida pointed out), just peeked over Héctor’s shoulder to look at the chat, then tilted her head up with a smirk.

               “See? It’s not just me who thinks you should be able to see.”

               “I can see just fine.”

               “It took you three times to hit the record button,” Miguel pipes up from off-screen.

               “Here.” Imelda looks down as something that sound suspiciously like a glasses case opens, and she holds up the glasses. “You should at least do it for your fans. And for me.”

               Héctor rolls his eyes, but smiles a bit as he leans down slightly so Imelda can slip them on. “Only if you wear your hair down on your birthday.”

               “Deal.” She smiles at him as he stands up straight and pats his cheek. “Muy guapo, cariño.”

               He shakes his head, then looks back at the camera. The chat has devolved into a mess of “SO CUUUUUTE!!!” and “SÍÍÍ MUY GUAPO” and more sparkle emojis and hearts than could be counted. (Save for hectorriveraseyelashes, who floods the chat with crying emojis.)

               “Well, that’s it for today. We really do appreciate your guys’ support, and thanks again for being part of one of the most memorable birthday’s I’ve ever had.” He gives a little wave with his free hand. “Adíos!”

               The video ends, and the chat is beside itself with delight—all the drama from the last stream completely forgotten.

Littlebear119: They’re all so cute I just can’t.

musiica-vida: I KNOOOWWW

hectorriveraseyelashes: I don’t know if I want to KILL Diosa or BE Diosa.

p0c0l0c0: Please choose “be”

hectorriveraseyelashes: FINE.

hectorriveraseyelashes: For now.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Those glasses, tho

dlcswaifu: I’M A CRUZ FANGRIL AND I LOVE THOSE GLASSES???

hectorriveraseyelashes: I found God in those glasses tonight.

badnugg: omg i can’t wait for school tomorrow.

hectorriveraseyelashes: #jealous

veramaj: i’m just so glad that everything’s all right. i knew it couldn’t be a real fight. cruz is way too nice for that.  

As always, thank you so, so much for reading! Wit’s got the next installment, so be sure to check over her way in the next week or so! Also we have tons of headcanons we’re ready to scream about at any given moment, so don’t be shy and come talk to us!

 Also, if you like my screaming-in-written-form and want to indulge my caffeine addiction, feel free to buy me a coffee (or not, of course.)

Thanks once again, and we’ll see you around!