#Also sorry if this comes off as rude but I'm pissed off and crashing out currently

[jcs-singular-slut-strand]

I think chengxian would've become canon if jc was a yandere and not a tsundere

this is sending me and it isn't even funny 💀💀

I partially agree with you, I do think that would work, but I also think that because Jiang Cheng is "tsundere" or whatever that that's what makes chengxian chengxian. If that makes sense? That's part of the dynamic.

And tbh, I don't really give a shit if it's canon or not. I don't really plan on ever finishing the books (I'm a third of the way through the 4th book and it's lowkey hellish) and I never rewatch the last episode of the untamed so I make up my own ending

The only way chengxian is becoming canon is if someone just fucking took out l*n w*ngji... which is very tempting...

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

Alastor glances at Vox out of the corner of his eye. The media demon is turned so he can glare at Carmilla sitting in the back seat.

Alastor winces as the thrumming of static from his partner gets even louder. It's not painful at all, but it does present a bit of a distraction when he's trying to drive all three of them back to the hotel.

Carmilla finally notices Vox's seething when she looks up from the weapon she's fiddling with. “What?”

“‘What’? ‘WHAT’?!” Vox explodes, “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?” He punctuates his outburst with a shockwave of electricity and static.

Alastor winces again as it washes around him. Vox must really be angry if he's losing control of his waves like this. Lately he's been more calm and collected compared to when Alastor first met him.

The static starts to consume everything now.

Alastor sighs and pulls over to the curb so he doesn't crash the car. He also turns around in his seat to look at Carmilla.

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “I had a job to do.”

“A job that required you to demolish nine blocks of the West side of the city?!”

She shrugs. “Civilian casualties. Comes with the job. It's not like it was that bad.”

Vox fires a beam of electricity at her that she dodges gracefully. She shoots him a glare in response.

“Well I'm sorry,” Camilla retorts, “but my credibility as a contract killer was on the line!”

Vox twitches. “Your credibility? What about the credibility of Alastor's hotel?!” Vox gestures to Alastor, who's doing everything in his power to keep the smile on his face. “Your little stunt made my partner look like a fucking joke!”

The demoness scoffs, “A joke? Jokes are supposed to be funny. All I did was make you look sad and pathetic.”

Alastor stiffens.

“Like an orphan.”

His eyes turn to radio dials.

“Whose parents abandoned them.”

The static around him crackles in the air.

“Ay, now I've bummed myself out.”

Alastor takes a deep breath and exhales. He can't get angry. Carmilla’s involvement is just a trial run. He brushes a stray curl out of his face.

“Do you have any alcohol in here?” Carmilla starts rooting around in the compartments.

Vox snarls and turns to face forward again. He's reaching the end of his rope. “Can’t you at least try to take this seriously?”

“I’ll try. But try not to get your boxers in a bind, Mister Checkerboard.”

Vox snaps his head around to burn a hole into Carmilla's face again. “Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?”

“Whatever pisses you off more.”

Vox's eye starts to twitch again. He turns to face Alastor. “Al, I'm going to kill her.”

Alastor runs a hand over Vox's shoulder soothingly as his partner starts muttering profanities underneath his breath.

“That was very rude of you, Carmilla.”

“‘Uncool’?” Vox interjects. “After that disaster, there's no way anybody will want to stay at the hotel!” He jabs a finger at Carmilla. “All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!”

Carmilla looks between them. “Does that mean I won't have a free room anymore?”

Vox shoots her an incredulous look.

Alastor shrugs off his coat with what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Hey, Vox, it's going to be okay. Just because we ran into one problem doesn't mean it's all over. Try to relax, darling. I'm sure we'll accomplish our goal soon enough!” He places his hand over Vox's.

Vox calms down at his touch and sends him a soft smile. “Alright, if you say so.”

This is so unhinged and ridiculous /pos

[twistedwonderworm]

HELLO! I noticed ur matchups are still open! I was wondering if I could put myself forward!

(1) Miya! (She/her)

(2) I’m a little bit of an introvert but a massive extrovert when with close friends, I’m a hopeless romantic too! I love going on walks in the rain or foggy weather just to be alone sometimes! I also sleep a lot- I used to get mad at everything really easily but now I try and calm myself down before going further in a situation like that! I usually tend to care more about other peoples well being than my own because I feel it’s not as important as keeping other safe! I’m around 5’3 people often are quick to judge me based off my height when I could probably beat them up if I had the chance- idk if this counts but my love language is physical affection!

(3) I usually dislike it when some is just flat out rude towards someone for no reason! And I especially don’t like it when people pry into other’s social or at home life and judge them based off that rather than as a person! Oh and I really hate people who think they’re SO much better than everyone just because they’re popular or something! It really gets on my nerves

(4) Hmm out of everyone I’d probably say Rook and Crowley! Idk they just kinda pisses me off ^^

(5) Nope I wouldn’t mind!

Thanks ♥️

Sorry that this is so late. I've been very busy, but I hope you like this match up!!

I'm matching you up withhhhh

The forest Fae, Trey Clover!!!!

I think Trey would be the perfect match for you. Though like you, he has a tendency to care for others rather than himself, but that just means that you can both help take care of each other. I can totally see him making you a little snack or something when you wake up too. And as a forest fae, rain doesn't bother him as much as someone else from his dorm (looking at you fire elemental Riddle).

Also Trey is not strictly an introvert or an extrovert. He's very good with people and willing to hang around those that he's close too, but sometimes he still needs to take a step back to help deal with the stress he has to face as a vice housewarden and as pretty much the mom of the dorm. He also doesn't get angry very easily and is rather good at calming people down.

♣️♣️♣️♣️♣️

"I'm very happy you invited me out tonight," Trey said, a small smile gracing his face as he walked alongside Miya. He enjoyed hanging out with her, and today was a practically stressfully day. Ace had crashed into the dorm building while trying to show off again, breaking his wings once again. Trey swords he'd be a master healer by the time he graduates due to how many times he had to heal Ace's wings.

"I'm happy you agreed to come out," Miya answered holding the umbrella carefully. It was raining tonight and it seemed no one else wanted to get caught in it so they were the only ones wandering about. It was very peaceful. Trey was keeping his stride slow. With his long, deer like legs, he normally walked very fast, but he wanted to make sure she would easily keep up with him.

"It's very relaxing to walk with someone you care about," Trey said softly, droplets of water hanging off of his antlers.

"You care about me?" The human asked, caught off guard by his statement. The fae just laughed and took her friend hand, a gentleness in his golden eyes.

"I thought that much was obvious."

[diaco1968]

Sidechicks

Oikawa Toru x f!Reader

Warnings! Nsfw/smut, bj, unprotected, a little bit of choking and hair pulling, but mostly manipulation and angst!

Note: Oikawa is a mean manipulative player in this and reader sadly gets attached to him. And I just had to get this idea out of my head >_<

"You what?"

It was probably the first time you saw concern in his face. Even if it was just a tiny fleeting moment. Was it concern or was it something else?

"You heard me."

Your voice was as stern as you had planned but you just couldn't bring yourself to close the door in his face. As much of a jerk as he was, you had missed seeing him. He was indeed a nice catch. If anyone could actually hold on to him.

"I did, I was just giving you a chance to try and not sound so dumb."

"Excuse you?"

He took the moment of hesitation to slip inside through the door way as if he was actually invited and insisted to go in.

"Who goes back to their ex!"

He exclaimed exaggerating as he looked around the room, almost same as he had left it months ago. Much cleaner though. What he really meant was 'who leaves ME to go back to their ex' but of course eventhough his pride was striked he was not dumb enough to not know he was on thin ice here.

"Well someone who might've made a mistak in leaving him in the first place, Oikawa."

Ouch not off to a good start so far.

"Whatever happened to Toru?..."

"Same thing that happened to I promise I'll call you this time sweetheart."

He didn't know exactly what you were referring to, only 'when'. But he was glad you reminded him of what your personal pet name was, cause as usual he had forgotten. But... were you perhaps just trying to get on his nerve by saying you'd go back to your ex? Cause if you did and he actually fell for it... he would be even more pissed.

"I know... I'm so sorry! I was just hit by some heavy work load and tight schedule, deadlines... I wanted to call so many times but something always popped up... if you only knew how much I've been thinking of you."

Whatever your plan was, you were not going to win this. He was the player here. And lying was fair game for his side bitches.

"... right."

You rolled your eyes but the deep sorry tone of his voice got to you, making you subconsciously close the door behind him anyway. You knew he couldn't have meant it. You knew. But you also knew this was just a game. And even though you were hurting, you couldn't help but want to pretend he was being truthful. Thst he actually cared about you like you had come to care about him...Just for a moment or two.

"You don't believe me?"

His sharp eyes had noticed the fresh flowers on the kitchen counter. You were moving on, this was not a drill.

"That I've been thinking about you every moment of every day,"

"I um-..."

He had turned around and was in your personal space with 2 long steps before you knew it, staring into your eyes with deadly eyecontact as he grabbed your hand and pulled it up to his lips as he leaned down, placing a warm open mouthed kiss on your knuckles that had you reddening immediately.

"These beutiful elegant hands,"

When he came back up he had already his fingers hooked under your chin, tilting your face up to him.

"Your beautiful (e/c) eyes,"

His thumb ran over your cheek as his long fingers moved to rest on your neck, creeping to the back of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

"Your delicate skin,"

His voice dropped ever so slowly that you almost didn't notice as his eyes moved down your face stopping at your lips, his own parting as his tongue sweeped over his bottom lip before he captured it between his teeth, pupils going wide like a cat staring at his favourite toy.

"Those delicious, soft lips..."

He was whispering on your lips now and you were so flustered by the compliments the little touches and the hot breath in your face that you couldn't take it anymore as you closed the distance between you two and crashed your lips onto his.

'Got you now.'

He was not at all suprised by this outcome but he let out a soft hum and slwoly wrapped his arm around your waist, his other hand slipping into your hair and cupping the back of your head to hold you in place as he moulded your lips together hungrily. His tongue swiping at your lips and you denied his entrance with a tiny moan.

Now one thing you probably didn't understand was that he was indeed hungry for this kiss, but not quite the way you wanted him to be. He had definitely thought about you and all he mentionded and desired you accordingly, but right before he had decided to change his way and come pay you a visit cause he was in the area and had nothing else to do. As in, just about 15 minutes ago. He did think about your elegant hands, desperately grabbing onto him. Your beautiful eyes, glazed over and looking up at him dripping with need.

Your delicate skin as it reddened under his hands.

And your soft abused lips, wrapping around his cock.

He had indeed thought about those, and had shivered in delight.

But that was all this was. You were a good fuck. One of his carefully picked out side bitches. But just because you were his side bitch didn't mean you were allowed to move on from him. He owned you. What the fuck were you thinking? Annoying.

His fingers tightened in your hair harshly positioning your head so you were craning your neck up towards him, lips parting and he rudely took his chance to push his tongue into your mouth, and his other hand placed heavily over your hip pulling you against himself.

Your hands shot up against his chest to try and steady yourself, feeling as if you were drowning in his scent and his heat, his touches, every where.

You hummed softly, hands moving down his torso, over his abdomen and to his button, tugging and pulling at it till it was undond and loosely hanging on his hips making him hum back to you in approval.

His hand moved from your neck to grab your jaw and firmly press your lips together one last time before he let go and press down on your shoulders. Complying he made you bend down and kneel in front of him, pressing your face to his still covered crotch giving you time to nuzzle onto his clothed dick as you looked up at him through your lashes.

"Fuck sweetheart, the things you do to me with those eyes..."

'Makes me want to fuck you raw right now'

You batted your lashes at him as you pulled down his underwear, his cock springing free. You grabbed onto it, fingers wrapping around the base as you licked it up to the head, leaving a kiss at the tip before sucking him in your mouth slowly, a little at a time.

He was watching you so intensely as his fingers raked through your hair, gently gathering the strands out of your face while you reached the back of your throat and swallowed around the head trying to get used to the length in your mouth.

"And you're always such a good girl for me~ you deserve much better than that lousy bastard."

He hissed looking down at you with half lidded eyes, wrapping all the strands he was previously so gently collecting, tightly around his fist, using it to pull your mouth off of his cock before slamming you back onto it and setting a rough rhythm of you slurping around his shaft trying to suck him off faster as he fucked your throat, watching your eyes tear up as you tried to suppress your gag reflex.You hated it. He knew. But you never protested. He knew that too.

"Such a pretty little thing you are, hmm, sucking me off so so good, ngh, god you're so amazing..."

Little praises and groans rolled off his lips as he watched you whimper before pulling you away completely this time, grabbing his dick with his other hand.

"That's enough sweetheart. Now let me take care of you."

"Toru..."

As he lowered you back on the couch, standing between your legs and pulling your clothes off slowly, your hesitation was visible in your eyes.

"Yes, baby? Oh my god I missed hearing you say my name like that..."

"I just... maybe we shouldn't... I mean..."

Your voice was understandably hoarse and your eyes were still watery. He placed his lips over your bare ankle as he gently moved your legs over his shoulders. Your tense posture was making him have no other choice but to throw in his ultimate lowest card.

"Am I going too fast for you, baby? I'm sorry... it's just..."

"What's wrong Toru?"

You watched him curiosity pouring in and mixing with the worry in your eyes.

"I love you so much I find it hard to hold back... but it's okay... I know I can be pushy, I'll stop..."

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened in shock watching his face for confirmation of what he just said. He looked genuine. Ignoring your common sense completely, And as your heart swelled with happiness to your horror he was already pulling away. Your reached out and grabbed his collar pulling him back to you.

"No! Fuck are you... a-are you serious?"

He blinked a few times in confusion before pouting a little.

"What do you mean? Of course I am."

"I l-love you too!"

He smiled and cupped your cheek.

"I know, sweetheart. I know. you don't have to go through with this to show me."

This time he went to remove your legs from his shoulders but you pulled him closer again.

"No, no! I want to... I... uh... I need you Toru~"

His eyes darted from your eyes to your lips a few times opening his mouth to say something but unable to find the words and closed it again.

"Fuck... you have me wrapped around your finger, don't you?"

He smiled as you giggled and nestled between your legs, thumb slowly rubbing your clit through your soaked through panties, making you jerk with a quiet moan. If only you knew what narcissistic pleasure he was hiding behind his seemingly innocent smile. He fed off of the fact that you thought you were in charge while you were just a puppet in his games.

His fingers slipped past the hem and gathered up your running moisture, smearing it back onto your entrance before pushing it back in with his fingers.

You whined and gripped his forearm, melting under his intense gaze as his fingers found their way deep inside you the discomfort slowly replaced by sharp jolts of pleasure as he kept grinding them against your sweet spot, switching between thrusting them or just keeping them inside as far as they'd go and bending them around. As soon as you started clenching around them he pulled them out though, causing a protesting whine.

"No baby girl, not without me."

You felt his tip rub between your folds a few time before he slipped it right in unceremoniously making you gasp and arch your back. He was quick to press you back down into the couch with his body as he layed it over yours, cupping your cheek.

"Sorry, love... my bad. I just can't wait to feel your hot pussy wrap around my dick. So fucking wet for me."

You nodded unable to form proper words with the depth of his thrusts trying to force you to accomodate to his size, as his thumb was running over your lips, pulling it out before letting it pop back in place.

"Oh but you don't need to forgive me. I know you like it like that."

You looked up at him gulping.

"You fucking love it when I go wild with you. You love me when I'm a fucking animal."

His hand wrapped around your neck as his hips snapped up into you, silencing your loud moan.

"You just love being manhandled like this. Such a naughty dirty girl. Hm?"

He started pounding into you, his hand on your throat preventing you from bouncing away from him so you were taking in the full force of his thrusts, only able to mewl and whimper. And sure enough it wasn't long before your eyes were rolling back inside your head from the pleasure.

"You are mine, baby, aren't you?"

He let go of your neck letting you breathe as he slowed to help you come down from your high. Gently laying back over your body running his fingers through your hair.

"Only mine. You know that loser isn't for you... he'll just won't know how to treat you right... he'll screw up again."

It did run through your hazy mind why he was bringing up your ex now but you were too caught up for the moment so you ignored it.

"Do you love me, baby?"

You nodded your head as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"And you're only mine, aren't you?"

"Yes Toru, only yours."

'That's right little bitch-chan.'

With a fist full of your hair he tilted your head up, exposing your neck to him as his hips started pivoting into you again, deep slow thrusts mixed with his pelvis rubbing against your throbbing clit. He started nibbling and sucking roughly on your neck but with all the other stimulation that was going on you really didn't care as you came a second time, scratching down his back.

He hated it. He hated it when you left marks on him. But it was strangely arousing to him this time.

'One last trophy.'

He had to pull away from you and pull out quickly only to spill his load over your belly only seconds after. He lazily stroked his shaft over your panting sweaty body a few more times before cleaning and tucking himself back in his pants.

"Wow... stay put, love, I got you."

The gentleman he was, he came back with some warm wet tissues, cleaning you up before picking you and taking you to your bed.

"Do you have any idea?"

"What?..."

You looked up at him questioningly as you lay there catching your breath.

'Do you have any idea how easy you are?'

"Do you have any idea how amazing you are? I love you so much."

He smiled kissing you in the top of your head making you smile with a blush but before you could reply his phone buzzed and he glanced at the text before pulling away from you.

"Sorry, I need to take this, sweetheart."

He dialed a number and walked out of the room, leaving you to your own mess of thoughts.

In reality he didn't call anyone, he just left the room to take a breath and think of a plan how to slip out not to be too suspicious. All that was left of his plan was a grand exit. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

He came back in the room a few minuted later already dressed back up neatly, ready to go. Seeing your pout he smiled and cupped your cheek.

"I'll be in touch this time."

"... you said that last time..."

"You know what? I left my number on the table. How about you call me instead then?"

You perked up grinning and stood up to hug him and give him a goodbye kiss. Which he returned before saying goodbye and leaving.

The sound of the door shutting had you remembering the last times and you sat there in silence for a long time before you remembered that you didn't tell him that you loved him back.

Sure enough there was a neatly folded paper on the coffee table next to the couch, you grabbed and unfolded it once finding the number, not wasting a second to dial it.

With the phone between your ear and your shoulder you unfolded the paper one last time.

'We are over, sweetheart. XOXO'

"The number you are trying to reach, does not exist-..."

"Fucking asshole...."

You crumbled the paper in your hand as angry tears started to pool in your eyes, grabbing and staring at your phone screen and the message the operator kept repeating.

Words could not describe how used and how dumb you felt. But your clenching heart and quivering lips could. You wanted to disappear into thin air as the realisation hit you like a train. He was playing you and you sat there doing everything he wanted you to, while he was probably laughing at you the whole time.

You were a good fuck to him. That was all you would ever be. No less but never more either.

The screen had shut off as your phone hung up automatically and in the reflection you could see the dark hickeys running all over the length of your neck.

Of course... it was Toru's parting gift. After all, no one was allowed to move on from him.

The screen turned on as the phone vibrated in your hands with a notification.

'Hey, I hope you liked the flowers. Thanks for giving me a second chance. I swear I'll make it up to you. Are you free tomorrow dinner? I'll come after you :D '

"You fucking asshole!!!"

[rizahawkais]

I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [later but still the same night clearly] Jimmy: Turn your location on, I need my jacket back Janis: fuck off, no you don't Jimmy: I wouldn't be chatting to you if I didn't Janis: it can wait Jimmy: it's freezing Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: so cold you need two jackets now Jimmy: unless you're offering to hug it out Janis: as much as I want you to suffer Janis: has your sister not put a key through for you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: are you gonna tell me where you are or what? Janis: I'd rather come to you Jimmy: go on then Janis: Where are you then Jimmy: [sends his location but lbr he's just walking] Janis: alright Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should go to the 24 hour tescos Janis: kill some time Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: what do you need? Janis: nothing, you idiot Janis: it's a tip Janis: 24 hour gyms are better but you'll need a membership usually Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll funnel my hard earned tips into that next time my dad decides to be a massive knobhead Janis: some of them ain't that pricey, one near the CG actually Jimmy: alright rich girl, I'm gonna stop you there Janis: it's like a fiver a month Janis: one pack of cigarettes less, not even Jimmy: you're not my real girlfriend, no need to have a chat about how I spend and save Janis: I'm giving you solutions Jimmy: give me my jacket Jimmy: nowt else Janis: free speech, init Janis: you dickhead Jimmy: you told me to stop talking to you a bit ago Janis: so Jimmy: so now you've got loads to say? Janis: I've always had plenty to say Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah Janis: sums your contribution up Jimmy: leave it out Janis: make me Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: death's already having a go standing here Janis: you wish Janis: actually so dramatic Jimmy: 💀😍💀 Janis: cute Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want a place to stay Jimmy: do you have any decent ideas? Janis: go to mine, I ain't gonna be there Janis: no one will be up Jimmy: Mia might Jimmy: evil never sleeps Janis: I don't think she's actually a rapist, like Janis: you'll be safe Jimmy: you're alright Janis: alright Janis: you got a shed Janis: sleep in that Jimmy: 😂 Janis: what Jimmy: just trying to picture your posh garden summer house, rich girl Jimmy: hang on Janis: yeah Janis: you've got no clue Jimmy: weren't searching for any Janis: then stop chatting shit Jimmy: why? Jimmy: you won't Janis: I've got enough people assuming things wrong Janis: I don't need you Janis: and I ain't assumed shit about you Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: you're such a fucking Janis: just shut up, I'm nearly there Jimmy: nah, go on Jimmy: say how you really feel Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: plenty on the tip of your tongue so you reckon Janis: so you can sit there and chat shit back Janis: yeah, no thanks Jimmy: it ain't shit just 'cause it ain't what you want me to say back Janis: nah, it's shit by your own admittance Janis: literally just said it Jimmy: now you're listening Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I've been listening Janis: what do you want Jimmy: when? Janis: when haven't I Janis: what are you talking about, go on Jimmy: don't end it like that, I'm not getting cheated on again Janis: I ain't doing anything tonight Jimmy: not what I asked or said Janis: fine Janis: I'll just look like the dick then yeah Jimmy: put it on me Jimmy: I'm too #highkey or whatever Janis: how is that better Janis: genuinely Jimmy: how is it better for me or how is it better for you? what's your question? Janis: for you Jimmy: how is it better than going through that shit again? Really? Janis: whether I cheat on you or dump you for being too nice, you're getting the same reaction regardless Janis: you wanna be the one who cheats but then I lose Janis: we've fucked it, best is we do it amicably and then we both lose, there's no way for us to both win and why should I let you Jimmy: I don't care about winning Janis: I can't promise you any outcome where they leave you alone Janis: that's the whole reason we were doing this Jimmy: I haven't lost my memory, like Janis: well I don't know what you want from me Jimmy: I got that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: just Janis: yeah Jimmy: leave it Jimmy: as you said, we've fucked it, we've gotta carry on Janis: we'll have to stop it eventually Jimmy: weren't planning on marrying you, Jodie Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you'll have to deal eventually, is what I'm saying Janis: we will, whatever Jimmy: we'll do a fake break up when we've planned it out, not when what you say goes 'cause you're fuming Janis: excuse you no Janis: it was you who fucking said it Jimmy: I said I don't want this Jimmy: I don't Janis: well you'll have to deal won't you Janis: decide what you want less Jimmy: you're so Janis: yeah, you hate mee Janis: whatever Jimmy: your ultimate kink that Janis: if it was I'd want you around Jimmy: who's walking to who? Janis: oh my god Janis: I don't need you freezing to death Janis: or getting lost, again Jimmy: stop pissing about then Jimmy: come here Janis: you've got some fucking nerve Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you aren't funny Jimmy: not tonight Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Janis: unnecessary Jimmy: I carry cash, it's you who don't Janis: see where trying to pay me gets you Janis: [showing up and throwing that jacket at him] Jimmy: [put your jacket on boy and shut your mouth] Janis: ['anything else?' not looking at him] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her and almost doing a cry cos that's the life you're living] Janis: ['are you sure-' not finishing that 'cos so many possibilities] Jimmy: [just gotta shake your head cos you're not sure about anything are you, big part of the problem here] Janis: [nods like yeah, 'look, we don't need to be mates but I ain't got any interest in hating you, alright? pointless so just, you know'] Jimmy: [take two of trying to give her a bottle, be less of a dick this time boy] Janis: [takes it 'cos as close to a peace offering as we're getting rn and does cheers motion as she takes a swig] Jimmy: [sitting on this random curb so casually I always had to do that if I was out playing] Janis: [sitting down too a little ways away] Jimmy: [having a moment with himself like don't cry, Katie Fitch style] Janis: [when you gently go for the jacket pocket and get out 🚬 and light it for him] Jimmy: [when you shouldn't look at her cos that's so nice - too nice lbr- but you do look at her cos she's right there and you can't not] Janis: [when you look back and lean in but then you gotta lean back like no 'cos you think that's not what he wants and you're trying to be a friend not friend and ugh] Jimmy: [trying not to look 💔 like this isn't your own fault, gdi Jimothy] Janis: ['it's okay' when you just want to be comforting even though it really isn't and you're like why did I say that] Jimmy: [when you laugh cos no its not but it's also not funny and that ain't helpful so well done, oh these two] Janis: [kicks him like you know what I mean, shh, this is weird we both know it 'okay, well, I'm sorry your dad's a dick, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi but it's too soft to really be that and we all know it 'he ain't sorry, why should you be?'] Janis: ['cos I'm dead nice, obviously' 😏 but shrugging like] Jimmy: [lols more genuinely] Janis: ['charming' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [putting an arm around her cos she's literally in a t-shirt now like don't die babe] Janis: [the nip situation would be outta control lmao fold your arms girl] Jimmy: [at least pretend that's not a thing boy, least you can do] Janis: ['It ain't a summer house, it's a barn but it is somewhere you can crash, it's converted, there's sofas and shit' 'cos not giving up] Jimmy: [gives her his oh we're still on this kinda look but also not mad cos when does anyone give this much of a fuck about him] Janis: ['Please'] Jimmy: ['Bus takes an age if it's even running early as I need to be on shift. It ain't gonna work' but she said please so obvs you're thinking about it and looking at her like] Janis: [pouting but actually so on the low 'cos you know that's fair and he probably doesn't want one of cali or the older sibs driving him so] Jimmy: ['help me get into mine if you've gotta do owt' cos lbr it wouldn't be hard there's probably a bathroom window open and a drainpipe/roof situation and such a #mood cos she's such an athlete so] Janis: 'I dunno, guardog is pretty fierce' ] Jimmy: [a real lol 'if you ain't up for the challenge, you ain't' gets up like well bye then but is 😏 and pulls her up on her feet too a literal second later anyway] Janis: [a faux-offended face like how dare you 'cos 'Course I am!' but then grins like let's go] Jimmy: [shrugs the jacket off and gives it to her like your turn babe cos they share everything it's facts 'here, you're gonna make me fall to my death if you don't cover up' because just can't ignore the nip situation like a gentleman can you lad] Janis: ['Knew the jacket was a blatant coverup but wouldn't have necessarily guessed you wanted me to break and enter for you' shakes head like honestly tut-tut but still not mad, even when she hits him like oi it ain't my fault I had to go dramatically stand in the rain 'I reckon I'll go in, find the keys then let you in the door, all offense meant to your... prowess' 😉] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well gotta keep you guessing and it's so flirty SOS but then pulls the hood up over her head playfully, messing her hair up, like oi don't be rude and so much 😏 goodbye] Janis: ['stop flirting with me' but we all know that means don't ever stop] Jimmy: ['or what?' literally eye fucking rn calm down] Janis: ['you know what'] Jimmy: [be more up in her everything at this moment jfc I can't with you sir don't do this to me] Janis: ['just, if it's gonna be-' when you can't do words] Jimmy: ['I just-' cos same but boy you gotta communicate I s2g I hate you] Janis: ['we don't have to do this tonight, now, yeah? none of it, like, there's time'] Jimmy: [when you can breathe because she really let you off the hook there so you gently drag her off towards your house like come on] Janis: [get it lads] Jimmy: [break in of the century, but we know it's gonna play out how she said cos lbr he's not pulling his weight here] Jimmy: [like he'd try and go up the drainpipe and slip and she'd be like um no boy down you get] Janis: [god bless boy, when you just in the doorway afterwards like all 👍?] Jimmy: [gotta love a sleepy Twix before she goes cray though cos heard 'em way to cockblock this bonding moment pup] Janis: [don't give 'em away traitor pup shh Jimmy: [giving her treats like behave thank you] Janis: [all whispering obvs 'cos not drunk af this time 'you should get another key cut he don't know about'] Jimmy: [when you can't hide how good of an idea you think that is cos tell your face and you were already impressed by her break in antics and we're dangerously close to 😍] Janis: [when you ain't even smug just smiling like a nerd 'cos you already know his dad ain't shit] Jimmy: [just in the kitchen from when you had to bribe Twix opening the fridge with a flourish like see anything you like cos will literally give her anything so she won't leave yet] Janis: [say by some miracle there's a slice of pizza left so she grabs that] Jimmy: [He's just making tea cos northern] Janis: [sneaking peeks honey] Jimmy: [he ain't asked her if she wants one he's just doing it, bit rude when you don't know if she likes tea never mind how] Janis: ['milk, 2 sugars' 😏] Jimmy: [does a OTT dramatic gasp like a nerd cos we gonna say they take their tea the same for the feels '#twinning, Gracie will be delighted'] Janis: [does a little lol, 'yeah, 'specially 'cos she don't drink a tea unless it promises to fix her skin and her love life for her, and tastes like shit, like'] Jimmy: [just grinning 'No dairy, like ever, OMG, I know' crossing his heart with an eye roll before carrying the tea to the lounge] Janis: [getting comfy on the sofa like bitch you were leaving lmao your resolve 'you should just give her full fat, she'd never notice, honestly'] Jimmy: [laughs evilly but quietly cos don't wake peeps up and mimes writing it down but then you know he's also getting comfy closer to her than he needs to be as per] Janis: ['puts hands up like soz 'you're off the clock, I remember'] Jimmy: [mimes looking at his watch and sighs dramatically like only for a bit but ain't that devvo cos got his bae back] Janis: ['should've put this in a to-go, like'] Jimmy: [nudges her like where do you are like I ain't even got #aesthetic mugs for insta 'pay up and you can have it prepped or served any way you want'] Janis: ['hot' 😂] Jimmy: [sips tea like he's doing a temp check and 👍] Janis: [just looks at him like nerd alert] Jimmy: [gets up, gets a pack of biscuits and throws them at her but gently cos again shh please boy] Janis: ['#whenbaespoilsyou'] Jimmy: [blows a kiss at her cos nerd] Janis: [catch it 'cos sporty] Jimmy: ['such an athlete, babe'] Janis: [stretching back like 'you know it'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her body cos that top is cropped af before you even move thank you bye] Janis: [always hitting with a 'what?' but being 😏 'cos you know] Jimmy: [always giving it back like you don't know exactly what you're doing okay then] Janis: [just come casual tension but you're about it] Jimmy: [nearly spilling that tea actually cos all your attention is on the bae, the fucking eye contact forever damn] Janis: [sipping with purpose beech] Jimmy: [when your phone goes off to break the unbearable tension for a sec but it's just the fans as usual so you can look together and get even closer to her like look] Janis: ['can't break their hearts just yet, like, they ain't ready'] Jimmy: ['none of the lads must've caught your party mood from a decent enough angle or that'd be up doing it for us'] Janis: [🙄 and pushes him like shut up] Jimmy: ['its alright I've had more breakups and make ups than I've had girlfriends, must be something about me 😏'] Janis: [lols 'you reckon'] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like don't lol at my misfortune but is clearly also amused 'try and fake some sympathy, girl, damn'] Janis: [clutches her heart dramatically] Jimmy: [shakes his head like she's such a dickhead but smiling cos she's also a cute nerd] Janis: ['this-' gestures to the tea '-ain't strong enough to swap war stories, boy'] Jimmy: ['subtle move, pisshead' gestures toward the kitchen 'go on and raid Ian's supply but his broken heart'll be on your head, like'] Janis: [gets up and shrugs 'least I didn't break his windows'] Jimmy: [shrugs back like fair point] Janis: [picks a bottle that's fairly full but not completely 'cos least obvious and she's not actually that arsed but takes a swig walking back in] Jimmy: [control your heart eyes and swooning boy we all know its a #mood] Janis: [offers the bottle to him but doesn't sit, 'it'll help you sleep, early start and everything'] Jimmy: [takes it and takes a bigger swig than her because everything's a challenge and passes it back] Janis: [raises her brows at him but obviously can never back down from a challenge] Jimmy: ['coming in?' meaning work tomorrow obvs] Janis: [when you act like you're thinking about it for much longer than you actually are 'probably, be a bit of a bad review if I'm not dying to see you the morning after, like'] Jimmy: ['could be incapable of walking, your nan got a zimmer you can borrow for a bit?'] Janis: [when you have to snort 'cos you have to hold in a louder laugh more] Jimmy: ['take that as a nah, fit is she? Gotta get it from somewhere, eh?'] Janis: ['She's only 62, so yeah, could probably take you on' 😏] Jimmy: ['bring her in for a cuppa, I'll earn a decent tip, no bother' 😉] Janis: ['ugh, you and your type'] Jimmy: ['paying customers, yeah, really turn me on when they hand me them couple of extra euros they do'] Janis: ['you're in the wrong job then' and shakes her head 'cos thinking 'bout Rio, shade] Jimmy: ['in it for the art form though, obvs' thinking about that hipster latte foam] Janis: [''course, Pete's artistry is limited to bass only, like' Jimmy: ['I can't live if I can't express myself creatively, the need lends itself to being more than a one trick pony, so burdened me' gets Pete's page up and is having a scroll and showing her things cos he weren't at the party obvs] Janis: [😏 'You are SO in love with him'] Jimmy: ['pick your own jaw off the floor and it might hit harder, mate'] Janis: ['please, I play it SO cool'] Jimmy: ['where and when?'] Janis: ['I'm pretty sure he don't know I exist so check and mate, mate'] Jimmy: ['Don't take your hand off that piece yet, Jill, 'cause here's me calling bollocks. He's mentioned you to me'] Janis: ['OMG, what did he say?!' in a scary good Grace impression, but quieter please; 'also you better not have told him my name's Jill, even worse than my actual'] Jimmy: [in a accurate Pete impression 'that girl's so... dude, your girl's really...' back to Jim voice 'wouldn't you LOVE to know, Juliet' shows her his phone where that's her name cos fave of the nicknames duh] Janis: [when you're loling at the impression but lowkey 😍 at the nickname 'cos it's shamelessly cute] Jimmy: ['I wanna be the face of that band but I ain't got the voice. You?'] Janis: [shakes head and pulls face like god no 'my mother's already tried to make us a racially ambiguous version of the Nolans, but she obviously ain't pushy enough, where's Joe Jackson when you need him, eh?'] Jimmy: [lols like that's us fucked then 'starving artist and muse it is then, baby' snaps a pic of her to make the point] Janis: [when you try and get the phone outta his hands 'cos never enough playfighting] Jimmy: [when of course you end up on top of her on the sofa like well now this is a moment RIP] Janis: [when you just go for it 'cos you can't not but then you pull back like fuck] Jimmy: [when you then have to go for it cos you didn't wanna stop and that's all you're thinking about] Janis: [back at it again on this sofa] Jimmy: [so into it, god only knows how we're stopping them rn] Janis: [Twix run bitch run] Jimmy: [barking cos are they playing or are they fighting OH PUP DO NOT WAKE THIS FAM] Janis: [well that's that ruined thanks babe, getting up so fast like 'I'll go'] Jimmy: [when you want her to stay but Bobby appears like oh hey did anyone order an even bigger cockblock so you have to be in big brother mode cos he's always lowkey scared/upset by life in general] Janis: [when you stay long enough to not freak him like who was that but then you peace so he can deal in private] Jimmy: [I hope she's got the jacket again so she don't freeze to death] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is he back to bed and her in the doghouse, like Jimmy: 🐶🔪🔪 say goodbye to your little mate 💔 Janis: harsh Janis: poor bobby Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: [sends a pic of Twix like a ransom photo but the newspaper be in her mouth cos nerds] Janis: 😱 Janis: I'll give you whatever you want Jimmy: anything I want? Janis: That's what I said Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby and Twix both asleep on him like okay she's safe] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [saying that he misses her and flirting on the socials so that I can] Janis: Smart thinking Janis: keep up appearances, make it look like it ain't a hostage situation Jimmy: not thick, northern Janis: like I said, impressed Jimmy: don't you wanna save your flirting for the feeds? Janis: This isn't flirting Jimmy: Nah? Janis: Nah Janis: I can do much much better than fake me Janis: obviously Jimmy: more #goals than this?! gotta call bollocks Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 Janis: sure, as far as everyone knows, we're the it couple of the moment Jimmy: 💘 Janis: as long as all dogs and children are safe Janis: let you get a few hours, like Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: you said anything I want Janis: Well have you decided Jimmy: I'm thinking Jimmy: stick around Janis: alright Janis: I'm still walking anyway Jimmy: where to? Janis: my nan and granddads Janis: cba to go home Jimmy: you could always walk back Jimmy: know your way in Janis: look like you've got your hands full Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: can't be giving it out like you don't wanna climb through my bedroom window, girl Jimmy: balcony or nah Janis: better change names with me, boy Janis: rose by any other name and all that Jimmy: suits you better, can't help that Janis: hmm Janis: gotta think of a name for you Janis: you don't own nicknames, like Jimmy: what are you on about? it's the name your parents gave you weren't it? Janis: 😏 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: charming you are 💕 Janis: not our story Janis: cinderella would be hard to pull off, even now you've left the north Jimmy: if it could happen anywhere, it'd be the CG Jimmy: picking the ugliest out of your sister's squad though, not easy Jimmy: Mia's 🥇 duh but then who? Jimmy: might be the tall one, might be her 💀 clone Janis: 🤔 Janis: my votes for BFG Janis: 💀💀 twin too hard, the disparity is great for comedic effect Jimmy: where's your #tallgirlsolidarity babe? OMG Janis: fine, go be friends with a leprechaun Jimmy: such a friend kink you Jimmy: trying to get me invited to a sleepover or what? Janis: not at my house, thanks Janis: if you have an orgy with them we're no longer besties Jimmy: I told you before, if I wanted that it would've already happened Janis: Gross Janis: they have to have some boundaries Janis: obvs all go to the bathroom together to have a vom sesh but you know Jimmy: it's like a cult Jimmy: if they don't all fuck and they're only doing the death pact bit 💔 Janis: there's no way the 💀 ones can exert the energy and the rest wouldn't wanna get their kit off 'cos they'd get fat-shamed so Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: their nails an' all that's a 🌈🚫 Jimmy: be like 🔪🔪 Janis: 🤢 Janis: too far Jimmy: soz my dear Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, be my mate again Jimmy: pretty please with 🍒s on Janis: you mean it Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you doing that behind your back like you're lying Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: come find out Jimmy: can't give up all my secrets to you Janis: I shouldn't Janis: might wake your dad up next time Jimmy: nowt wakes him Jimmy: garage walls are thicker than his head Janis: should do you a favour and not accept that challenge, shouldn't I Jimmy: I get it, was just a fluke and you can't break in again, yeah? Janis: please Janis: not my first rodeo Janis: and you made it so easy Jimmy: sounds fake, babe Janis: 😡 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah, you just want me to come back so you can be so impressed again Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: meant to be giving me what I want Janis: only the once Janis: not good for life, use it wisely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sooooooo Janis: am I coming or what Jimmy: do you wanna come or do you just want me to use that to make you so it's gone? Janis: 😑 Janis: hadn't thought it through that much, tbh Janis: it's your wish, I ain't interfering Jimmy: if I want you to come and keep that in my back pocket for later is that 1 favour or 2? Janis: Hmm Janis: alright Janis: I'll come and I still owe you Jimmy: should I unlock the door or let you show off? Janis: Probably just let me in Janis: I don't need it and I've got visions of the kid seeing me and 😱💀👻 now so Jimmy: and I don't need to be spending my tips getting him therapy Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: so considerate you Janis: you know Janis: and you're welcome Jimmy: might not be the shittiest mate to have Janis: 👂 Janis: sorry, can you repeat that Jimmy: I could Jimmy: but will I Janis: awh come on 😏 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: I don't hate the idea, do I Janis: you're not a total idiot so Janis: 'course you don;t Jimmy: Stop complimenting me Jimmy: I'm gonna reckon your phone got snatched off you in a bit Jimmy: 🔪💀👻 Janis: Was just a means to compliment myself more, don't worry Jimmy: alright, fuck that, this is deffo you Janis: mhmm Janis: [does extra ass socials like people need to know she's going back] Janis: who else but your fake gf Jimmy: 💕😍💘 Jimmy: [replies that are as extra but we know there's realness underneath] Jimmy: [OMG the fire sexts can be born this day! cos remember when] Janis: [yasss] Janis: did you really just Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: you reckon you're the only one with impressive skills? Janis: obviously not Janis: do you want everyone on your dick more though 'cos Jimmy: they ain't gonna leave me alone Jimmy: that dream's 💀💀💀 Janis: 💔 Janis: not to victim blame you but Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: and you Jimmy: can't help it if you're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had, can I? Janis: Yeah I'm so inspiring Janis: a muse, you could say Jimmy: a 🥇 muse baby Jimmy: get it right Jimmy: and send that tweet Janis: [does] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: Come out and 🚬? Jimmy: [does but let's say he hasn't put his hoodie back on yet cos was being snuggled a bit ago so we can fully appreciate the white tee moment] Janis: [you appreciate that girl, sat on his front step like hey] Jimmy: [Getting on there as well cos always gotta sit so close 5ever] Janis: [for warmth this time sure, when it's not been that long so you don't know if you're meant to pretend the makeout didn't happen but you can't anyway so] Jimmy: [and so you can share a smoke cos god forbid you just don't have your own you coupley bastards] Janis: [sharing is caring boo] Jimmy: [it means he smokes less so i'm about it as I am about their comfortable silences] Janis: [honestly, not even hello] Jimmy: [living for it, picture him on his phone cos peeps are losing it over their posts, but with her so not being an antisocial dick] Janis: [just loling and taking the piss how they do 'so, how often are you sexting to be that good?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos we both know he ain't done it for ages but ain't gonna say that 'like a 6 that were'] Janis: [nods, 'don't wanna give 'em everything right away, like'] Jimmy: ['they can't handle what we've already shown 'em, if I was going for it with a full 10 I'd kill your nan and we both know she's healthier than your horse'] Janis: [pushes him 'stop slagging my nan and imaginary horse, so rude'] Jimmy: ['I'm complimenting your nan and ain't about to stop, well in, me. You're only here 'cause she was asleep, like'] Janis: [PAHs, 'you ain't met her, boy; trust, you won't be getting no tips'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted 😏 but we're all amused af] Janis: [truly 'cos we all know what happened that time Tess showed lmao] Jimmy: [when you lowkey snuggling the bae tho cos its cold but also you want to] Janis: [rubbing his arms like he did] Jimmy: [just giving her heart eyes casually] Janis: ['wanna go in?' 'cos you're so concerned u caring hoe] Jimmy: [when you're #conflicted because you're alone out here and there's nobody cockblocking you but it's not comfortable so of course you ask her if she wants to cos always a question answered with a question] Janis: [just looking at his lips in response shameless] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her before you've even closed the door behind you cos also shameless] Janis: [get it kids] Jimmy: [use that front door to your advantage when you finally shut it but shh] Janis: [seriously shh even though you obvs don't wanna] Jimmy: [when you think you hear something so you stop for long enough to move, get back in that living room kids] Janis: [ah trusty sofa hello] Jimmy: [the mems on this sofa already, speaking of get on his lap girl cos that's a thing always and has to start somewhere] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [at least if you wanna be kissing constantly it'll keep you quiet cos we know he ain't usually living that life, we see you, mr no chill] Janis: ['You're a good kisser' 'cos you ain't told him that before now obvs] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling genuinely cos nobody's told you that before and you weren't expecting it and so cute so even though you should say it back cos true you're just like 🙊] Janis: [kiss that smile] Jimmy: [get your hands in her hair boy cos you love being soft] Janis: [when you're just enjoying how all this feels] Jimmy: [you can tell she's into it so just touching and soft kisses everywhere cos there's so much bare skin to play with thanks to this outfit you can just take your time] Janis: [when you're trying so hard to keep quiet 'cos it's obvs not been like this before in any sense] Jimmy: [gotta give the nips some attention cos they've been the centre of attention all night lbr so soz girl for making quietness even harder for you but not that soz] Janis: [when all the squirming she's doing gonna feel real good for you boy] Jimmy: [everybody winning rn] Janis: ['fuck!' 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [and now everything's a little less soft because all the encouragement you need to go harder at what you're doing] Janis: [when you're just moving your hands down from around his neck 'til they're making their way under his waistband] Jimmy: [his turn to say fuck quietly but with feeling] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [kiss that smug face boy so you shhh] Janis: [putting your finger to his lips like shh but you loling 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: [deciding to make this touching mutual so the struggle to be quiet is too, little do you know yet lad she's a pro at keeping things hush unlike you] Janis: [can't quiet your face though even if you are trying to hide it like] Jimmy: [his turn to be like 😏] Janis: [going harder like shut up] Jimmy: [going harder cos she is and everything's a competition forever] Janis: [tryna move away 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [use your strength soft boy I believe in you] Janis: ['boy'] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I simply must] Janis: [making eye contact and giving the LOOK to end all as you move back but closer] Jimmy: [keeping that eye contact going as you try not to be killed by the look and her everything atm] Janis: ['I've wanted to do this properly for so long' point out the obvious and not really that long but I'll allow it highkey ass] Jimmy: ['how long?' cos validate this high key needy boy] Janis: ['Since we started fake doing this, I told you, you're a good kisser'] Jimmy: ['I can top that, girl, I picked you 'cause I wanted to find out if you were' cos where's the lie] Janis: [pouts like she's fuming she's lost 'could probably call that false pretenses, you know' 😏] Jimmy: [the pouty lip bite 5eva bye cos gotta shut her up obvs haha] Janis: [#intoit Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [when your phones are still blatantly going off and you're ignoring that shit] Jimmy: [priorities kids sod looking at your phone when you can be looking at the bae] Janis: [real better than the faaaaake] Jimmy: [you know it] Janis: [is she staying or going after like] Jimmy: [I vote she should stay then she can come to work with him when he opens up cos what a #mood the CG alone together for a bit] Janis: [wid it, no running hoe] Jimmy: [he ain't letting her leg it]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: ? Janis: Save you the details, want to brain my sister as per Janis: but I need to ask you for a huge favour on her behalf Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: hang on, let 'em play for a sec Jimmy: ... Jimmy: alright, go on Janis: 😑 Janis: don't you start Janis: well she's got a date that she doesn't want to go on, but is gonna 'cos it'll piss Mia off/potentially show her up Janis: aware this is like a bad, really bad, teen drama-edy but hold on Janis: but like she really doesn't want to go 'cos she's her and he sounds like a twat tbf so she wants to double-date it Janis: which, undeniably, would piss Mia off more so bonus if we can deal being around her Janis: we don't have to stay ages, do it for the 'gram and bounce, old skool Jimmy: 1. I was only taking the piss out of her, calm down Jimmy: 2. this is bollocks but I heard you at piss Mia off Jimmy: 3. where & when? Janis: 1. this is how she's got me rn soz like tread carefully boy 🐍 Janis: 2. I know Janis: 3. [Place and time] Janis: Don't worry, I'm paying if he don't offer, he's some posh kid Mia wants on/has been on, apparently Jimmy: I dunno where that place is but it sounds fancy as shit Jimmy: outfit crisis like Janis: Am I gonna have to talk you down in the changing room too, like Janis: well I've been instructed to look 🔥 so she's either #over you or trusts you to bring it, which is rude Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: calm me down in there if you wanna Jimmy: that'd be hot Jimmy: I always look 🔥 & this whole town knows it babe 👌 Janis: Might make shopping bearable, give you that Janis: 😏 Don't disagree Jimmy: let's go shopping then Janis: Easily persuaded, you 😂 Jimmy: you don't wanna? sounds fake Janis: Didn't say that Janis: Called you easy, little bit Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Awh baby Janis: so mean to you Jimmy: 😭 me Jimmy: enjoy your lattes everyone, nowt to see Janis: Such a 💔 mental image Janis: hope Pete is there to comfort you Janis: that's a sexy one Jimmy: your shout for 💔 'cause your boyfriend ain't in today Janis: Nooooooo Janis: won't bother coming in now Janis: what's the point Jimmy: I knew that's why you weren't rushing Jimmy: obvious you Janis: You know Janis: 'til I get his number, gotta keep you sweet Jimmy: keep me sweet enough I'll give you it Janis: How sweet is that then? Jimmy: I'd have to find where the manager's left everyone's contact details Jimmy: least a few sugars Janis: 😏 keep it in mind Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: let me know Janis: bit mad you couldn't even pretend you're having a torrid affair with him but still like ya Jimmy: bit mad you want me to instead of being jealous but still like you too Jimmy: suppose Janis: I can be jealous Janis: jealous and aroused Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll keep it in mind Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: what are you up to actually Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: what are you doing? Jimmy: other than plotting Gracie's murder Janis: Literally that's all I've got done today thanks to her 😑 Janis: one minute I'm helping her find outfits, the next she's telling me to fuck off basically Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: must be catching Jimmy: Cass is in a right strop Janis: Cass no, don't let the side down Janis: you know why or just 'cos? Jimmy: the prospect of family dinner ain't got none of us full of the joys Jimmy: but I reckon she's mostly bored Jimmy: she ain't done nowt this hol really 'cause I'm always working & leaving her to look after Bobs Janis: Yeah, makes sense Janis: You Dad needs to find a proper childminder, like Jimmy: she used to be out with her mates loads before Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: can't be the dickhead arranging playdates for a 12 year old Janis: Well, Grace did say she'd babysit for you as thanks Janis: so if she met Bobs and he wasn't completely terrified of her Janis: Cass could go out for a bit, do her own thing Jimmy: that'd be decent Janis: I could also go round there, more reg like, take him and Twix out to the park Janis: even if it's like an hour, better than nothing, right? Janis: not like your Dad is there to nope it so Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: actually Jimmy: You're just Janis: It's no big, you're the one actually working Jimmy: yeah but they ain't your siblings Jimmy: only your 🐶 Janis: Yeah but you know, they're alright, as are you Janis: it's only for the rest of the hols anyways Jimmy: steady on, gonna make me fall in love with you Janis: 😏 idiot Jimmy: I put a spare key out so you can go whenever you want Jimmy: Cass has lost 'bout 4 since we've been here Jimmy: reckon she only does it to piss my dad off Janis: Feel it Janis: he deserves it Jimmy: probably in the bin or summat Jimmy: find 'em all under her pillow Janis: making a statement necklace Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she does usually wear it round, well spotted Janis: I 👀 all Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: I better stop making eyes at the customers then Janis: How else you gon' get tips Jimmy: #where'sthejealousy? Jimmy: get yourself a girlfriend who don't give a shit, lads Janis: what you want me to be jealous for so bad? Jimmy: I'm just pissing about, Janet Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Likely story Jimmy: I miss you, there's one Janis: I miss you too Janis: and if you've been flirting with any old ladies Imma flip shit okay Jimmy: let's say I have 'cause I wanna see you fuck shit up at the CG Jimmy: & just see you Jimmy: so 👵💕 Janis: 😡😡😡 Janis: catch these hands deidra you old hussy Janis: get your own man Jimmy: have a heart babe he died in WWII Janis: probs look just like him Janis: least the dementia telling her so Jimmy: it's 'cause I'm so 💪 Jimmy: & got all them medals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇🥇 Janis: for being a prize dickhead, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Janis: don't act all devvo with me now, playing hero all afternoon Jimmy: come see me I'm so bored Janis: Have you saved up a break or nah Janis: real jealousy over them 🚬s Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & I finish soon Jimmy: we can go shopping Janis: Yeah? Janis: Okay then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: maybe I'll find something to cheer Cass up while we're there Janis: You're so nice Jimmy: nah, she's a good kid Jimmy: didn't ask for nowt of this Janis: Yeah Janis: none of yous did Janis: so you're still nice Jimmy: more my fault than hers that we moved Jimmy: wedding crashing & baby daddy drama, remember? 🙄 Jimmy: to hear my dad tell it like Janis: Yeah but that's like Janis: not actual is it Jimmy: don't stop him Jimmy: he'd have to take some blame then Janis: Heaven forbid Janis: My parents always act like they're blaming themselves but they just do it so people disagree Janis: dead sly Jimmy: sounds like when all your sister's mates say how much weight they've put on so the others will rush to say nah Jimmy: you ain't Tammy you're gorg babes! Janis: Literally 🙄 Janis: I hate that shit Janis: but I'm up myself for at least owning it and not forcing everyone into the pantomime okay Jimmy: I always wanna be like maybe don't order a croissant then, babes, but #tips so Janis: 😂 Janis: You're such a dick Janis: I love it, never change Jimmy: least your sister never eats owt Jimmy: even Mia orders shit to stare at Janis: they're all idiots Janis: just in different ways Jimmy: yeah, I got that Jimmy: probably spent more time with 'em these hols than you've ever had to Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: half of 'em are named after countries or colours Jimmy: ?? Janis: Basic from birth Janis: destined to be each other's shitty friend Jimmy: my dad did me that one decent shout Jimmy: tah, Ian Janis: 😂 Janis: Your name suits you Jimmy: hang on, what's yours again? Jimmy: gimme a sec & I can return the compliment Jimmy: Juliet, yeah? Very real Janis: Ha ha 🖕 Janis: It's an old woman's name so you should love it Jimmy: I knew I liked you for SOME reason Jimmy: there it is Janis: Your perviness never letting you down freak Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: so romantic, babe Janis: That ain't why you're with me Jimmy: yeah it is, last of the greats, remember? Jimmy: twitter agreed Janis: How could I forget Janis: sent me my first nude awh 💕 Jimmy: did you want it then though? Janis: You were hot, wasn't gonna say no Janis: that fake sext was 🔥 Jimmy: I'm an artistic Jimmy: boy Janis: Yep, totally focused on your talent, boy Jimmy: I wanted to impress you Jimmy: for real Janis: 😊 Janis: Well, you did Janis: for real Jimmy: alright, good Janis: You know EVERY bitch was thirsting after you then why wouldn't I? Jimmy: I've told you before, you ain't like 'em Jimmy: & you could kiss me how you did & just walk away Jimmy: so Janis: Sorry to disappoint but you looked good Janis: and it was funny Janis: and you actually did it Janis: so Jimmy: I always look good, am funny & accept challenges Janis: Go out with me then Jimmy: I'll think 'bout it Jimmy: remind me who you are Janis: 💔 Janis: so harsh Jimmy: you want me to be kind, baby? Janis: yes Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: I'll be so kind Janis: 😍 Janis: Am I mean Jimmy: not to me Jimmy: I dunno how you're chatting to everyone else Janis: oh, exactly like this Janis: my technique Jimmy: nah then, you're 👌 Janis: 😏 Good good Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: why? Janis: Grace reckons I'm basically Hitler Stalin and Pol Pot in one Janis: if she knew who the last two were Jimmy: she's friends with Mia her judgement's for shit Janis: True Jimmy: do you reckon you're mean to her? Janis: No Janis: Unless I intend to Janis: she just overreacts Jimmy was timed out 4 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 4 days ago Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: Yeah, you're right Janis: only doing this to piss off Mia Jimmy: #same Jimmy: & for the free babysitting 👌 Janis: 👍 too right Janis: cash that in whenever Janis: she thinks Bobby is cute Janis: hopefully a good thing, not a 🚩 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I know I ain't interested girl but you can the bar a bit higher Jimmy: aim* Janis: Under 13 is honestly not a #mood babes Jimmy: more about the over 50s but go on, like Janis: 😂 different strokes, I guess Janis: how non-shamey was that Jimmy: decent use of the word strokes Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: 🙇 Janis: I try Janis: 'til I get grey hair how else am I keeping you interested Jimmy: get to the hair salon, rich girl Janis: 😏 get a Brazilian blowout whilst I'm there Jimmy: I can't even fake 👍 Jimmy: stop Janis: I'm surprised you know what that is Janis: 100% sit with my sister and co and bitch about me, confirmed Jimmy: I don't but the threat was clear Janis: You're cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Jimmy: but I like you Jimmy: & what the fuck is it then? Janis: not 100% what is Brazilian about it but Gracie comes out looking like a show pony Jimmy: not very beachy or hot weather appropriate but alright Jimmy: but not alright, nah Jimmy: don't Janis: it takes hours Janis: fat chance Janis: can think of better things to do Jimmy: if you ever can't, call me Jimmy: I can think of loads Janis: Good to know Janis: knew there was a reason I was dating you, like Jimmy: #formybrain Janis: Yep Janis: first thing I noticed 'bout you Jimmy: I get that a lot Jimmy: not right now though Jimmy: I'm so tired Janis: 😔 Janis: not a store room you can nap in Jimmy: ☕ shop, mate Jimmy: easy fix Janis: 🤢 Janis: you're gonna need to go 🚬 'fore you kiss me then Jimmy: demanding you Jimmy: but yeah it is 🤢 Janis: You're somehow just finding out? Okay Jimmy: piss off Janis: Just sayin' don't go spreading that around, you're meant to know exactly how demanding I am by now, Christ Janis: not that frigid Jimmy: I'm just saying piss off Janis: ? okay Jimmy: you're Janis: hello? Janis: 😴? Jimmy: I'm alive, no tah to you Jimmy: gimme more mental images of how demanding you are & finish the job like Janis: Ahh 😏 Janis: Nah, leave you wondering and hanging on Janis: bitch like that Jimmy: why I hate you so much Janis: I know Janis: Makes it more fun Jimmy: what happened to wanting me to be kind? Jimmy: fickle you Janis: 🤷 Janis: trying to keep you awake and on your toes, boy Janis: manager can thank me Jimmy: I'd rather do it Jimmy: Unless you're 😍 for him now too Jimmy: love a man of mystery, yeah Janis: 😂 yeah, you're too familiar now Janis: gotta go Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what the fuck are we gonna do on this double date? Jimmy: never done one Janis: Me either, oddly enough Janis: I hope she'd have picked someone else if it was a keys in the middle situation Janis: but maybe not, omg Janis: she's conned us Jimmy: Mia would pop up from behind a plant or summat Jimmy: lunge for you Jimmy: in a sexy/threatening way Janis: 😬 Janis: we gotta cancel rn immediately Jimmy: #cancelher Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Babe don't let her get me Jimmy: not gonna 💪 Jimmy: such a hero like that Janis: I won't let Grace wifeswap you Janis: not until I've 👀 this dickhead anyway Jimmy: tah Jimmy: like I said, them brazilian hair bollocks are doing nowt for me Jimmy: she'd end up disappointed Janis: 💔 Janis: don't need her pity so nah, not happening Jimmy: I'd have to hit up that look but don't touch girl for tips Jimmy: can't remember her name so Jimmy: just the weak ankles Janis: who Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: who's this lad then? big spender but what else? Janis: 🤷 Janis: Goes to a School Mia wishes but too thick that even money can't, appaz Janis: not white, I think she said Janis: ego Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: this is gonna be a right laugh, isn't it? Janis: You ain't gotta ride him Janis: we'll have a drink and go Janis: might be enough of a dick that is a laugh tho so Jimmy: if I have to watch your sister try I know that's a laugh Jimmy: seen it before Jimmy: her flirting is 🥇 Janis: 🙄 Don't remind me Jimmy: show 'em how it's done babe Jimmy: fancy places always have hot waiters Janis: Livin' for the dramatics always, you Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: #artist Jimmy: gotta suffer for that 🎨 Janis: use your 😥 to paint out that pain Jimmy: use my 😭 Janis: No half-measures Janis: I know, babe Jimmy: pete ain't here, you're gonna be off fucking the waiting staff Jimmy: I mean Jimmy: just 💔 Janis: Well we're all devestated about Pete, first of all Janis: where is he, what does he do with his free time Janis: so many unanswered questions Jimmy: he's in a band 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna drunk dial Barry, see if we can't hug it out Janis: OH BITCH Janis: really withholding that info from me weren't ya Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 100% the bassist Jimmy: he is yeah Jimmy: I've been on his insta 'cause that loved up like Janis: So hot Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: Even though I'm mad you're tryna keep him all to yourself Janis: dickhead Jimmy: first come first serve, Janet Jimmy: I saw him way before you Janis: Yeah but I really SEE him, you know? Janis: we've got a connection Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Groupie mode activated Janis: bet they're SO good Jimmy: [sends his like soundcloud or whatever people use idk 'cause obvs linked to the insta] Jimmy: 👍👍👍👍👍 Janis: Come thru, you stalker Jimmy: told you 😍😍😍 Jimmy: step your game up, Judy Janis: in stalking or being your actual bae Janis: #therealquestionsnogirlshouldhavetoask Jimmy: you don't have to ask it Jimmy: bit nosy you Jimmy: #stillnotadecentstalkerthough Janis: Not allowed to ask questions now Janis: that's your bit not mine anyways Jimmy: #stayinyourlane Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: I'll stay home then 👌 Jimmy: nah you won't Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know you've already left Janis: I could probably find Gracie Janis: follow the sobs Jimmy: go on Jimmy: if that's what you want Janis: shut up Janis: be nice Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Janis: No, just love me Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want you, how's that? Janis: Works for me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't had no ☕ so we can make it work Janis: You should've Janis: not that mad really Jimmy: got a sudden rush on Jimmy: no time Jimmy: fuck you Pete Janis: Ugh Janis: fuck off people Jimmy: still had time to scroll though Jimmy: Pete's got a bird I reckon 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so mad 'bout it Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: Why are you trying to hurt me so bad Jimmy: 'cause I feel it too, babe Janis: I feel like all my dreams are dead Janis: crying on this bus Jimmy: tweet that at him Jimmy: he can use it for a lyric Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: hi, we've not properly met but 💔 Jimmy: he'd love it Janis: Enough to chuck the gf orrr Janis: I ain't bothering otherwise Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: Awh, thanks babes 😘 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: love you 💕 Janis: love you too 💕 Janis: such a good friend Jimmy: back in the #friendzone Jimmy: I get it, you've seen an in with your true love, get on it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #wheresthejealousy? Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍 Jimmy: who am I fighting though? Pete ain't in Janis: Take it out on me for now Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Not saying you gotta remind me who's name to say but you know Janis: can't hurt, babe Jimmy: like I said, stay in your lane Jimmy: that's my shout Janis: 😂 Janis: Good thing you're #unforgettable Jimmy: are you hungry 'cause I am Janis: oh baby 🤤 Janis: but nah Janis: could eat Jimmy: nah you have to really want it Jimmy: the food here ain't worth a maybe Jimmy: starving or don't bother Janis: watch you eat then Janis: #creeper Jimmy: sexy Janis: Believe it Janis: watch you sleep later Jimmy: this is why you're last of the great romantics, love Janis: you're so 🍀 Jimmy: hang on, let me tweet it Jimmy: let the fans know Janis: gotta make the most of the ban lift Jimmy: that better not be a challenge, girl Janis: such a slag Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Jus' sayin' Janis: save a lil something just for me, yeah? 💔 Jimmy: there's the jealousy Jimmy: we found it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: it's all for you, girl Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: you on your way to make me? Jimmy: 'cause til then nah Janis: Such a talker Janis: never take a break, you Jimmy: you love it though Janis: You reckon? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: all 'bout the noises you Janis: 😳 Janis: Don't be chatting that when you ain't here to back it up Jimmy: I will when you get here Jimmy: so come on Janis: can't blame me for being slow Janis: I ain't running and I ain't the driver so Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell whoever is to get a move on Jimmy: #medicalemergency Janis: Sadly not our bus driver bestie Janis: he'd understand Janis: be gutted it's me not you but you know Jimmy: he liked you too Jimmy: I'm just 🥇 after the latest ride Janis: thanks for the pep talk, babe Janis: so supportive Jimmy: I know Jimmy: & always ready with a challenge Janis: I reckon I know what you're thinking Jimmy: ? Jimmy: go on Janis: Doesn't take a genius to work out you want me to go for your title 🥇 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: save it for when our #1 fan is there though Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're actually in love with him Janis: 💔 Jimmy: he's a bit young for me Jimmy: but a decent Barry rebound I reckon Janis: Giving blowies for lifts, told ya Janis: with how cheap bus is, bit shaming but okay, have a nice life Jimmy: cheap for you, rich girl Jimmy: you gonna throw money 'round on this date, show this lad up? Janis: 😏😂 Janis: I don't know if I'm allowed to Janis: gonna need her to clarify what her actual plan here is Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you do what she tells you now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: you wanna re-write that sentence then? Janis: If the goal is to piss off Mia, idk if that'll help us achieve said goal Janis: there Janis: pedantic Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Gonna be that couple are we Janis: having a row and making the other people wanna die Jimmy: Are we? Janis: keep 🙄 and we'll see Jimmy: keep telling me what to do & we'll see Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not 😍 for that Janis: noted Jimmy: unless it's like shhh go to sleep Jimmy: or summat Janis: You don't need to be told sleepyhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but nah I'm fighting it 💪🏆 Janis: sure you wanna go shopping and not snoozing? Jimmy: don't you wanna go? Janis: happy just to see you, darling Janis: seriously, whatever Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cass' potential mood upswing depends on it so Jimmy: we gotta Janis: Oh duh, forgot already Janis: your fault for being distracting Janis: 👍 Jimmy: haven't even been on twitter Jimmy: sort yourself out, Jenna Janis: Fine Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: I'll get back to work then Janis: *is ignoring you shh* Jimmy: ☕☕🍪🥐☕ Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: Such a pervert Jimmy: I'm so busy I can't reply soz Jimmy: 👴💋 Janis: Hate you so much Jimmy: I hate you too, babe Janis: 😏 you ain't even funny Jimmy: I am Jimmy: you're good at faking but not that good Janis: Fine, give you that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: if that's all you're gonna gimme, guess I'll take it Janis: Let your old biddy customers tell you how handsome you are Jimmy: they are Jimmy: can barely hear my phone going Janis: must be being polite today too Janis: working for those tips Jimmy: they're polite so I don't have to be Jimmy: #blessed Janis: dickhead Jimmy: & you love it Janis: nice to know you're not a total arselick, yeah Janis: couldn't even fake date that Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: I'll pass on to my manager that he's out of the running Janis: I assume he's the chubby guy, mid 30s Janis: who I've literally seen once Jimmy: yeah, that's the one Janis: Thought so Janis: was already out of the running Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: gutted mate Jimmy: he'll be crying in the back when he realises Janis: Shoulda thought've that before he shouted at my mans in front of customers Janis: poor Pete Jimmy: that's why he's really off Jimmy: can't bear to show his face like Janis: So mad Jimmy: he'll write a decent song 'bout it Jimmy: be alright Janis: gf will console him Janis: I'll make an anon complaint about the manager like the unsung hero I am Jimmy: coming up 🌹s Jimmy: top one, pete Jimmy: proud of him Janis: you can't be proud of him he's older than you Jimmy: how's that work? Janis: you're a child Janis: he's a manly man Janis: that's how that works Jimmy: piss off am I or is he Jimmy: sounds faker than you've ever Janis: 😂 Janis: deal with it, boy Jimmy: deal with me Jimmy: girl Jimmy: I'm a better man than any Jimmy: including your true love Janis: Hot Jimmy: it will be when I prove it Janis: I was joking but now I'm Jimmy: I'll show you I'm not Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: Just Janis: you're killing me here Jimmy: I'll make it better Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: lowkey ages Janis: feels it Janis: still going 'round the houses here Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext like he did way back when] Jimmy: I reckon you should have something to read Jimmy: & think about Janis: I Janis: have you ever thought of doing that as a living Janis: you could Janis: way easier than slinging coffees probably Jimmy: maybe now I've got such a top muse Jimmy: you really inspire me Jimmy: [sends another one 'cause extra] Janis: Actually dead Janis: I did warn you Janis: Fuck Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: it backfired, I was trying to keep you going til I can do everything I wrote down Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Everything, yeah? Jimmy: that was the plan but it's too late now Jimmy: gotta call Barry & see if he'll be my date to the funeral Jimmy: look so good in black he'll have to say yeah Janis: You're so mean Janis: don't talk about him right now Jimmy: what do you wanna talk about? Janis: You Janis: and me Jimmy: go on Janis: It's stupid how much I miss you when you ain't around Janis: touching you and kissing you Janis: all of it Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I want you so much Jimmy: all the time Jimmy: I don't feel stupid Jimmy: I feel Janis: I feel it too Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: 'cause it's good Jimmy: you're Janis: yeah? Jimmy: you make me feel really good, you know Janis: good Janis: that's what i wanna do Jimmy: anything else? Janis: i mean Janis: lots of things can fall under what makes you feel good so Janis: not really Jimmy: chat to me 'bout them Jimmy: drown out these customers for me Jimmy was timed out 30 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 26 hours ago Janis: All I can think about is how badly I wanna be alone with you in a changing room right now Jimmy: I'm thinking of places we can be alone here too, don't worry Jimmy: resourceful like that Janis: Man of many talents Jimmy: there's more privacy in this place than you'd think Jimmy: especially when your man Pete the only other smoker ain't here Janis: Why you been holding out on me Jimmy: blame your boyfriend, he's always on shift Jimmy: & I only just found out the disabled toilet gets so little use it's used as a cleaning supply cupboard Jimmy: must have better taste in coffee Janis: I intend to, add it to my list of grievances with him Janis: Clearly Janis: interesting Jimmy: you're gonna be over the character limit on these tweets, babe Jimmy: get typing Jimmy: the customer toilets are well nicer than ours, write an anon complaint 'bout that tah Janis: Got a lot to say Janis: you gonna let be vent to you? Jimmy: like I'm always saying, so chatty you Jimmy: but I've also said you can say what you want, loads of times so Jimmy: keep up, Jill Janis: You've also called me a horny mute enough times to give a bitch a complex so Janis: challenging that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 poor lass Jimmy: challenge accepted, if you're frustrated enough to need to vent, take 'em out on me Janis: 💔💔💔 so mean Janis: it is your fault, like Jimmy: it is Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: use your boyfriend Janis: Jesus Janis: I Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I want you to Janis: How are you so Janis: it's rude Jimmy: I've missed you Jimmy: is the answer Janis: I wish you didn't have to work all the time Janis: but it's good that you do or you'd be sick of the sight of me if I could see you as much as I want Jimmy: nah I wouldn't Jimmy: you're 🥇 remember Janis: You're gonna fuck me at School, yeah? Janis: I can't handle being around you all day and not at least kissing you Jimmy: if we have to be there then I have to Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah? Jimmy: we'll find somewhere Janis: Loads of the lads chat like they have, probably bullshit for the most part but gotta be doable Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: I told you before, I'll get in trouble for you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: I really like you Janis: you're fun Jimmy: you Jimmy: but I won't spread it 'bout & ruin your 💪 rep Janis: Cheers 👍 Janis: my rep is so important, obvs Janis: so many friends and fans, so little time Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: just make time for me & it's alright Janis: you're the only one I want Jimmy: make me believe it when you get here Janis: you're gonna have no choice but to Janis: trust Jimmy: such a romantic Janis: don't take the piss, boy Janis: #medicalemergency remember Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: I already told you, you make me feel so good Jimmy: it's that's not #romance I don't want it Janis: Good Janis: don't be dumping me for some lovey-dovey bitch yet Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: too many grandmas to choose from Jimmy: I need time Janis: take your time Janis: as much as you need Janis: then some Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: wish you weren't right now Jimmy: REALLY need that break Janis: we're 5 minutes now Janis: unless any more of your faves decide to chat on their way off Jimmy: unless they wanna fall out with me Jimmy: better not Janis: 😂 let it be known Janis: oi sandra, better get a wriggle on Jimmy: Doris, leave it out Jimmy: put 'em all on blast Janis: must really like me 😏 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: must do Janis: 'cos you know I ain't gonna tip you as good Janis: how the rich stay rich Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: oh rich girl! 💔 bit rude but I can't say I'm surprised Jimmy: there's the real tip Jimmy: spend wisely Jimmy: you gonna need all your wealth to flex on this double date Janis: Obviously Janis: can't have him 💪 all over us Janis: clearly insufferable enough without that Jimmy: you gonna meet me 'round the back then? since you're slumming Jimmy: or you wanna flex on some 👵👴 too first? Janis: You know I gotta 👀 the competition Jimmy: doesn't exist, baby Jimmy: so just check me out & let's go Janis: that's right, tell me what I wanna hear Jimmy: I'd rather give you what you need but if you're 5 minutes away I guess we can talk a bit Janis: I know, such a hardship for me too Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: take that out on Doris & Bill 🥊 Janis: No, you Janis: I'm not the one who acts inappropriate with oldies Jimmy: only got your word for that Janis: 😑 Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [more time passes than is usual] Janis: I'm getting off the bus Janis: you alright? Jimmy: rare appearance from your spurned love interest Jimmy: gonna make this more fun Janis: Which one? Jimmy: what did you call him, a chubby 30 year old? Jimmy: time to put on a show, girl Jimmy: let's see how 'down with the kids' he really wants to be Janis: I believe I was generous and gave him mid-30s Janis: which is when we find out he's 26 and the receding hairline is genetic, thanks Janis: chose a time to give a shit 🙄 but down for the challenge, obviously 🥇 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell me what I wanna hear, babe Jimmy: NEED to hear, like Janis: I'm outside Jimmy: come in then Jimmy: say hello Janis: No more talking, yeah Jimmy: I'm not refusing you Jimmy: not when you chat like that Jimmy: come inside Janis: Coming Jimmy: [really extra kiss as a hello obviously but not sorry everyone cos its hot af] Janis: Well Janis: he's not looking yeah Janis: you go first Jimmy: alright Jimmy: one sec Janis: Try and be less obvious, babe Jimmy: me? you Janis: I don't know what you're talking about Jimmy: hang on, I'll show you Jimmy: exactly what you did Janis: You can't Janis: show me anymore here Jimmy: [does 'cause challenge accepted this is why you're gonna get in trouble lad] Janis: Come on, Jimmy Janis: you need a smoke, yeah Janis: really bad Jimmy: desperately Jimmy: how did you know? Janis: Me too Janis: amongst other things Jimmy: [lights her 🚬 up but in a really sexy way thank you cos SEXUAL TENSION BITCH gotta make 'em wait longer cos I'm rude] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: no but Jimmy: ? Janis: You know what Janis: don't play innocent Jimmy: don't you Jimmy: come here Jimmy: get what you want Janis: [Does] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you take direction really well Jimmy: I thought it was only when you were faking Janis: Only when it's what I want Janis: but sure, we can pretend it was your idea, babe Jimmy: I don't want to pretend Jimmy: not right now Janis: Then get what you do want Jimmy: [does & it's everything he said he was gonna do in those hot sexts so damn] Janis: [After when she's got kicked out and he's getting fired, is ignoring] Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what happened Jimmy: he's #overit Jimmy: & sacking me Jimmy: now Janis: what Janis: nah Jimmy: put your ear to the door Jimmy: not gonna get a glowing reference when I show up to work for the competition Jimmy: bit rude Janis: obviously I've gone Janis: can you not like beg for another chance Jimmy: why? Jimmy: not my fucking dad, am I? Janis: Alright but Janis: it didn't need to happen, it was stupid Janis: I won't come in again, feel free to throw this all out Jimmy: neither will I Jimmy: hanging up my apron Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: only Pete's gonna be 💔💔💔 Janis: for getting you sacked, obviously Jimmy: you didn't Jimmy: I did everything he saw Jimmy: & we can use this Jimmy: not quite romeo & juliet levels but the fans will still be 'bout it Janis: Be serious Jimmy: I am Jimmy: think of a good # Janis: Think of how you're gonna deal with your Dad Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: school starts soon anyway Jimmy: I'll take less shifts at the next place Jimmy: & we sorted Cass' problem without having to buy her owt 👍 Janis: That's something Jimmy: it's decent so don't worry Jimmy: my dad'll lose his rag, gimme a smack, I'll do it better & that's that job done too Janis: you don't have to pretend it ain't a problem Janis: one you could do without Jimmy: it ain't yours Jimmy: you don't have to take it on Jimmy: 🤞 we give each other enough bruises to call off family dinner Jimmy: get out of that too Janis: it's fucked Jimmy: just make it look good for the audience Jimmy: I love you so much I risked it all Jimmy: that sorta bollocks Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Sure Jimmy: I'll handle my dad's tantrums Jimmy: not the 1st or last Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: come get the dog for me before he gets back? Janis: Okay Janis: am I bringing her back or starting a new life Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: I'm just hoping if you show up Cass'll forget about wanting front row & go with Jimmy: little lad's a given Janis: right Janis: do my best to be convincing Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: get pics to show how much you love me for getting the sack for you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what you wanna do fucking mope? Jimmy: get it together & do your bit Janis: piss off Jimmy: I literally just told you I don't care if I get in trouble for you Jimmy: so what's your issue? Janis: I care, dickhead Jimmy: then like I said, do your bit Jimmy: don't make it weird Janis: I am and I ain't Janis: God Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: & say summat Janis: What do you want me to say Janis: I already did and you ain't listening Jimmy: I heard you, Jasmine Jimmy: but nowt matters Jimmy: it's just a job & it ain't mine now Janis: Fine Janis: shut up, I'm trying to put my shoes on Jimmy: you can't multitask any more? Jimmy: too 💔💔 'bout Pete Jimmy: you can go see him when you miss him, it's alright Janis: 😑 Janis: Jealous Janis: I didn't get sacked, I'm not changing my regular for you Jimmy: get him to make your smoothies Jimmy: let me know whose are better Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll try and remember Jimmy: calling his efforts forgettable before you've tasted 'em Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you would think that Janis: you would think that Janis: ego Jimmy: you said it Jimmy: poor lad Janis: I repeat Janis: 😑 Janis: you know I meant Imma be too busy now you're out the way Jimmy: you mean you're gonna be too busy with me Janis: you reckon Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you said you didn't want me to work as much Jimmy: now I ain't Jimmy: nowt but time for you 💕 Janis: so I planned it, yeah Jimmy: should've Jimmy: but just a happy accident like my birth Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Miss you too Janis: No need now Janis: all that free time Jimmy: see, it's good news Janis: you ain't seen your Dad yet so Jimmy: I know how that's playing out Janis: he's literally going to kill me Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'd never let him Janis: even if you lie why it happened, he's gonna know Janis: or go down there and ask, even worse Jimmy: I'll say it was my other girlfriend Janis: maybe Janis: father son bonding moment Jimmy: shame you don't look more like twins I could drop Grace in it Jimmy: the manager has only seen you like twice though Jimmy: maybe Janis: Twice is enough Janis: gotta have seen her more and it's an insult to reckon even in passing you're making that mistake Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I can feel you making that face for real Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: Me? Janis: You be nice to me Jimmy: I am Jimmy: gonna protect you from my dickhead dad 💪 Janis: Shouldn't have to Jimmy: we saying this is all my fault now Jimmy: is that the story? Janis: No Janis: you don't listen Janis: it's mine, idiot Jimmy: you don't listen Jimmy: I told you, it's not Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: am I coming over right now or what Janis: yeah, I am Jimmy: It don't make you less of a diickhead Jimmy: you're still chatting shit Jimmy: stop Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's why you like me Janis: Mhmm Janis: not 'cos I'm fucked in the head or nothing Jimmy: piss off Janis: nah Jimmy: for fuck's sake Jimmy: just come over Janis: I am Jimmy: don't have to bring your 😍 but gutted 'bout the lack of enthusiasm Janis: What YOU chatting Janis: always 😍 to see Twix Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: she feels it Janis: I know Janis: chat all the time Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: she'll be so 💔 I can walk her now Janis: Guard your shoes Janis: heads up Jimmy: tah Jimmy: can't afford to buy more 'cause of 🐶💔 Janis: don't Janis: feel bad enough, fuck's sake Jimmy: you Jimmy: I can't keep telling you it's not your fault Janis: then don't Janis: but literally would not have happened if I weren't there so Jimmy: I want you more than I want that shitty job, alright? Jimmy: so stop Janis: alright Janis: you can get another one easy Janis: yeah Jimmy: you've tasted my smoothies, you tell me Janis: that sounds weirdly filthy 😂 Jimmy: not an answer though Jimmy: I get it, you were faking liking 'em Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shh Janis: you know you're good Jimmy: I know it's hot when you say it Janis: really? you've not been deterred by manager simon or whatever the fuck literally staring open-mouthed like Jimmy: no Jimmy: & if that's your way of dumping me, bit rude Jimmy: coulda done it before he sacked me Janis: told you Janis: all part of my plan to get pete alone Janis: and single-handedly bring CG down, naturally Jimmy: should just go to one of his gigs Jimmy: you know there ain't nobody there but the band Janis: so bitter Janis: art about it, babe Jimmy: I will Jimmy: tah Janis: #muse 'til the end Janis: welcome Jimmy: really gonna miss you when you're Pete's groupie Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I prefer band wife Janis: but gotta start somewhere Janis: it's been real Jimmy: Barry come back Jimmy: the coast's clear & all is forgiven Janis: 😏 Janis: just don't let him impregnate you Jimmy: yeah one baby is enough Jimmy: really should've grabbed it from the CG before I left Janis: put a hat and apron on it it's your replacement sorted Jimmy: taught her everything she knows Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: a girl is it Jimmy: Barry only wants daughters he can warn blokes off of, he's that kinda dad Janis: creepy Janis: you 💕 him Jimmy: he's a decent rebound Jimmy: had the practice Janis: accidental or intentional shade Janis: either way fuck you Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: calling my inexperienced Jimmy: nah Jimmy: calling him very experienced at being dumped and picking up dumpees Janis: Hmm Janis: ok Jimmy: & you aren't inexperienced anymore Jimmy: Pete will be 😍😍😍 Janis: no need to toot your own horn that hard either Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: do it for me then Janis: Pervert Janis: after that glowing review you ain't getting from CG, yeah Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: is that your word of the day? Jimmy: really getting full use Janis: if you wanna stop being one Janis: lemme know Jimmy: any time you wanna shut up, go on Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: [bit] Janis: here Janis: bring out the dog/relevant kids Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: idk Janis: hope it's not the worst it could be Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't forget the pics, yeah Janis: I won't Jimmy: alright Janis: call me if you need Jimmy: dramatic Jimmy: call me if YOU need Jimmy: the kids are on one Janis: how is that dramatic Jimmy: I already said, I can handle my dad's tantrums Janis: well excuse me for caring Jimmy: just don't bring 'em back til I let you know Jimmy: if you care so much Janis: I won't Janis: I'm not stupid Jimmy: just me Jimmy: I got that Janis: No Jimmy: what? Janis: You aren't, alright Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you've been calling me an idiot non stop Janis: because I feel like one Janis: don't act like that doesn't make sense Jimmy: it makes sense that you're a dickhead Jimmy: come inside for a sec Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: just gimme one second Jimmy: & then you can go Janis: give me two Jimmy: alright Janis: [has to kiss him first do doesn't say it] Jimmy: [kisses her back really hard 'cause same & holds her 'cause comfort needed bitch] Janis: [Hugs for longer than should like bitch leave] Jimmy: you gotta go Jimmy: I can hear Twix losing it outside Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Janis: [kisses some more then leaves fr] Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: I just need to leave then you can bring 'em back Janis: okay Janis: go to mine? Jimmy: who's there? Janis: Us, currently but by the time you get there we won't Janis: wait for me in the barn Jimmy: okay Janis: do you need anything i can get on my way back Jimmy: just bring yourself Janis: okay Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: nowt I just Jimmy: tah for looking after 'em Janis: 'course Janis: no problem Jimmy: I don't have to give Cass a smack too, do I? Janis: Nah Janis: she was chatting to me when Bobby couldn't hear but she weren't letting on to him so Jimmy: I've text her so she knows Dad ain't murdered me Jimmy: not that there's a rug or owt missing, just me Janis: 👍 Janis: good Janis: gutted not to go true crime detective on it but Jimmy: you'd solve it too fast for it to be a laugh anyway Jimmy: too many clues Janis: true Janis: bit embarrassing, really Jimmy: can you get 🚬 actually? this pack is so light Jimmy: & get the kids 🍬 to soften the blow of not having my company for a bit Janis: my bad Janis: done and done Janis: not getting your Dad nothing Jimmy: he'll be 💔 Jimmy: needs a 🤕 Janis: nope Janis: stick a plaster on it and good luck Jimmy: brutal you Janis: He started it Jimmy: nah, I did Jimmy: losing me job Janis: so? not an excuse Janis: not like he's gotta retrain someone is it Jimmy: he don't need one Jimmy: any will do Janis: hate him Jimmy: #same Jimmy: not a couple brag for them 'gram but decent we've got that much in common Janis: obviously, soz Janis: your da, you actually have to deal with him Jimmy: I try not to Jimmy: got enough on Jimmy: don't let yours see me, yeah Janis: I won't Janis: promise Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I promise not to get blood on you Jimmy: maybe Janis: Jimmy Janis: how bad is it then Jimmy: nowt serious Jimmy: it's happened before so it does the next time, like Janis: I'll fix it Jimmy: I know Jimmy: feel better already me Janis: you will Janis: you know you can stay as long as you need to Jimmy: just not as long as I want Jimmy: Cass'd be fuming Janis: and you'd miss 'em Janis: come on Jimmy: let's move 'em in Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: living with a 6 year old going on toddler & 12 year old going on 22 Janis: Obviously Janis: save the teen pregnancy which has frankly been overdone in this fam so Janis: plenty of empty rooms if you can stand the cunts Jimmy: shame you can't bring Twix though that'd be helpful Janis: I know Janis: poor bitch Jimmy: anyone you know that doesn't have cats by the million? Janis: 'course Janis: my grandparents would take her Janis: can sort anything I can Jimmy: I wish you could Jimmy: for real Jimmy: It's all Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: Yeah Janis: I know Jimmy: I don't want 'em to see me but I don't wanna just leave 'em with him Jimmy: ever Jimmy: that's not Janis: It's Janis: total catch 22 Janis: he wouldn't do anything like that to them though, yeah? Janis: not saying he's winning dad of the year in the meantime but Jimmy: but Cass is gonna be mad enough to say anything Jimmy: & Bobby's gonna be so scared Jimmy: when are they not Janis: what can we do, seriously Janis: is it gonna be worse if you go home with them Janis: like assumedly Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: I just can't go back there right now Janis: You don't have to Janis: ask Cass to be extra nice to Bobby Janis: keep it together 'til you can go back Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's not fucking fair on her though Jimmy: nowt of it Jimmy: some hol this has been Janis: it ain't on you either Janis: that's on him though Janis: it can't even begin to be fair 'til he sorts his shit so Janis: she's old enough to know that Jimmy: I'm not 12 Jimmy: & it weren't like this for me when I was Jimmy: bad but not Janis: Shit's changed and that's out of your control Janis: the more you 'front like it ain't the more you put yourself in the firing line when it's meant to be him Jimmy: it's changed them so much & I Jimmy: someone's gotta take the hit for that Jimmy: he won't Janis: I get it Janis: like, not making it about me but I seriously do Janis: but they won't thank you for it, they'd rather you were at least a little bit fucking alright, you know Janis: they need you like that Jimmy: I'll be alright Jimmy: you're coming to fix me up Janis: Yeah Janis: we will work it out Jimmy: It's good that I met you Jimmy: best thing about being here Jimmy: only decent one maybe Janis: Competition ain't tough but Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the free medical attention coming my way has really elevated this whole girlfriend thing up one Jimmy: full shade to my ex for not coming through when she had her time Janis: Just don't start getting beat up for the attention, yeah Jimmy: with this face? Jimmy: it's my money maker, the rest of living ain't free, sweetheart Jimmy: good thing I don't have to work tomorrow, not looking pretty right now, sorry ladies Janis: You're so Janis: #sorrydorisyoumean Janis: better tell her you've moved so she can follow so you know it's real Jimmy: Pete's gonna have a 9-5 cleaning tables when the mass exodus happens Jimmy: sorry mate Jimmy: give him loads of time to work on his songs though Janis: all the 💔 will help him Janis: make him miss you even more but that's life, baby Jimmy: do you reckon Grace & her mates will believe I'm just on a really long break out back? Janis: 😂 Janis: would if you hadn't been dramatic on the 'gram Janis: their real hunting ground Jimmy: speak of 😈 Mia just liked it Janis: she's so bloody creepy Jimmy: did you see her latest selfie 💀 Jimmy: [sends it] Janis: 🦆 Jimmy: sorta impressive that your sister can find bollocks to comment Jimmy: that isn't like Jimmy: you look like death Janis: #tooreal for any of them Janis: especially Gracie Jimmy: at least her last selfie was alright Jimmy: I could chat shit on that if I had to Janis: go marry her then Jimmy: told you, you don't look alike enough Jimmy: can't be showing up like oops wrong one Janis: 😂 Janis: she would lock me in a cupboard she's got no shame Jimmy: insight into your childhood there? Jimmy: Harry Potter got nowt on you Janis: Yeah right Janis: too early for that shit Jimmy: it don't feel early to me Jimmy: this has been the longest fucking day Janis: You wanna hear my sad childhood stories then Janis: cheer you right up Jimmy: I'm out 🚬 Jimmy: gotta do summat Janis: Mysterious Jimmy: is it? Janis: What are you doing? Jimmy: walking Jimmy: 'cause you live in the middle of nowhere for some reason Janis: tell me about it Jimmy: have you dropped 'em off yet? Janis: in shop, picking their sweets Jimmy: soz Jimmy: you'll be ages Jimmy: it'll feel like a long day by then Janis: yeah Janis: realising Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: you can't Janis: you're a patient Jimmy: I'm bleeding but not to death Jimmy: plenty I can still do 💪 Janis: Shh, save your strength Janis: hard for me too, I know you're gonna look even hotter and it's just Jimmy: fuck your childhood stories, I'm learning shit here Janis: 😳 shut up that's a thing Jimmy: I'll shut up if you keep talking Jimmy: tell me again how hot I am Janis: you know you are Janis: you need me to tell you Jimmy: yeah Janis: I think you're probably the best-looking person I've ever seen in person Janis: people don't just look like that Jimmy: that's bollocks 'cause you look Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: beautiful, alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: I could look at you forever Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: I'll start when you get here Jimmy: you're gonna look at me 😒 when I tell you Janis: tell me what Jimmy: I think I took a wrong turn Jimmy: I don't know where the fuck I am Janis: oh babe Janis: I'll find you Janis: now going yours, finally Jimmy: 🍀 all looks the same Janis: Gonna have to track you Janis: be THAT girl just 'cos you're a liability Jimmy: we can say that's the reason, yeah Janis: Please Janis: if I want you I don't even need to whistle Jimmy: if you want me to piss off you don't have to unclip my lead either Jimmy: just say Janis: I don't Janis: but you can, if you want Jimmy: why would I be lost in the general direction of your house if I wanted that Janis: Just saying Janis: you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: shut up Janis: I just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: I just need you right now Jimmy: so Janis: you've got me then Jimmy: I want you too, you know Jimmy: It ain't just that I got nowhere to go Jimmy: I'd break into the CG before going somewhere I don't want Janis: You don't have to say it Janis: I was just being stupid Jimmy: You aren't Jimmy: & I want to Jimmy: just listen to me Janis: I am Jimmy: yeah we say that Janis: Tell me Janis: whatever you wanna Jimmy: I've never said owt I don't want Janis: Okay Janis: I believe you Janis: sometimes I forget what was fake and what's real Janis: it's all Janis: muddled in my head Jimmy: ask me Jimmy: whenever you wanna Janis: alright Janis: how come you're so sure though Jimmy: you saying I chat shit? bit rude Janis: No I mean Janis: how do you know what I mean and don't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: this could all be bollocks Janis: that don't bother you then Jimmy: you can't fake everything Jimmy: when you're with me I know how you feel Janis: Good Janis: I'm not trying to hide it Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: everyone hides shit Jimmy: & chats it Janis: not you though, yeah? Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's loads of shit I haven't said but I'm not lying Jimmy: just not going that far back Janis: that's fine by me Janis: 'cos same Jimmy: don't worry then Jimmy: you know me better than anyone else Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: here anyway Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: I'm not going back so it counts Janis: oh right Janis: 👌 gotcha Janis: my fam would probably like to disagree but no one knows me either so Jimmy: sound more 💔 that you can't get rid of me, girl Jimmy: you should be happy, bit rude Janis: shh Janis: i'm glad i met you too Janis: it's just shit 'cos you don't wanna be here Janis: can't be selfish about it and buzzin', like Jimmy: I don't wanna be there either, not really Jimmy: I don't wanna be Jimmy: any of it Janis: yeah Jimmy: how do your parents get to decide for you how shit your life's gonna be & that's just Jimmy: how it is Janis: they just do Janis: must be in the fineprint for getting to be alive Janis: not arsed, too arsed, whatever, fucks you regardless Jimmy: I'm never having kids Jimmy: good thing I left that one in the CG Janis: same Janis: 'cos what kind of psycho wants the guilt, inversely Janis: like yeah, here's this kid I'm programmed to love no matter what and ahtever the fuck I do, they're gonna turn out fucked or hate me or Janis: nah Jimmy: guilt's good for my 🎨 but I'll be dried up by then Janis: so past it Janis: midlife crisis baby Janis: least women can't do that Jimmy: I feel like a dad of two already Jimmy: who fucking asked me Jimmy: & there's the dog Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Start paying the mortgage and you're fully a single parent Jimmy: with this CV? Jimmy: bollocks to it Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: thank fuck no one needs me Jimmy: let's just go out Jimmy: do summat other people in our year do Janis: cool Janis: puke on me and you're dead, idc how hot you are or how bad your injuries already might be Jimmy: you're the pisshead Jimmy: I can handle myself Janis: fuck off Janis: you chat shit on that, that's your thing Jimmy: what? Janis: You always say I'm drunk Janis: when I ain't Jimmy: I say it when you are Janis: 🙄😒 Janis: agree to disagree Jimmy: I like you when you're drunk Jimmy: & you're a cheap date so 👍 Janis: 😬 Janis: wanna be more creepy Jimmy: piss off you know what I mean Jimmy: you're less of a dickhead Jimmy: it's fun Jimmy: you like me more when you're drunk Janis: do I? Janis: better go get drunk then Jimmy: you have to wait for me or it ain't #goals Jimmy: & my injuries aren't gonna fix themselves yet Janis: you just hoping i got a uniform Jimmy: now I am Jimmy: but no clothes is also fine Jimmy: I'm easy-going like that Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos this is nhs service and you'll get what you're given and be thankful, boy Jimmy: I'll be very thankful Jimmy: you'll see Janis: don't be so Janis: we're meant to be going out Jimmy: we can be #fashionably late Janis: it's selfish but i want you so bad right now Jimmy: no complaints if that's what you're being selfish about Jimmy: actually is a #medicalemergency this time Jimmy: You need to make me feel better Janis: I'm going to forreal Janis: then I'll make you forget about everything that ain't feeling good and me Jimmy: It'll be a challenge Jimmy: it hurts, for real Janis: I know Janis: what's the actual damage you haven't said Jimmy: keeping it a surprise now 'cause you're so into it Jimmy: be a turn on for you Janis: don't make me sound like a psycho Janis: I don't like that you're hurt Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'm not being serious, baby Janis: don't try and sweet talk me now it'll 100% work and I'll be fuming Jimmy: be nice to me Jimmy: I wanna be nice to you Janis: it's my turn, if we're keeping score Jimmy: we're not Jimmy: for tonight we're just Jimmy: doing whatever we want Janis: then let me Janis: you need to relax, seriously Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'm agreeing 'cause I'm in pain not 'cause you're right Janis: 'course Janis: we can say that's the reason Jimmy: it's the reason Jimmy: don't be stealing my lines Janis: 😂 Janis: but they're so effective Janis: not annoying at all, yeah? Jimmy: THAT I do agree with Janis: Nerd Jimmy: bit rude Janis: it's easier than being as nice as I wanna Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'll shut up & make it so easy for you Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: that is nice Jimmy: I know Janis: fuck it, tell you when we're drunk Jimmy: you really can't tell me now? Jimmy: any of it Janis: I can tell you plenty you'd rather hear Jimmy: yeah? Janis: I'm gonna make you regret wanting to go out, that's how good it'll be Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: like I said, whatever we want Jimmy: if it's that good, I'll stay Janis: nah, we will Janis: plenty of ways to have a nice time Jimmy: alright, challenge accepted Jimmy: it'll gimme an excuse for why I'm covered in blood that's not my dad's a bellend Jimmy: #thecraic Janis: 😏 and you DON'T wanna encourage my psycho behaviour, sure Jimmy: do you wanna encourage me in cross dressing? 'cause unless you want me to wear your clothes I'm gonna look like a horror flick Janis: 🤔 Janis: no doubt it ain't really crossdressing with my wardrobe Janis: sad times, babes Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you're a girl, how many times we talking 'bout this Janis: glad you can tell Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: do me a solid and spread that around Jimmy: get on twitter with your nudes & save me the job Janis: not all as #cocky as you boy Jimmy: you've got every reason to be Jimmy: more Janis: it's different Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: not a serious suggestion Jimmy: not that much of an idiot Janis: you aren't shut up Janis: besides, not taking 🔥 nudes from the roadside for you or tiwtter am Janis: *I Jimmy: you could Jimmy: but don't get arrested Jimmy: can't use all my savings for bail Janis: exactly, too many #risks taken for one day Jimmy: or just the right amount Jimmy: so far Janis: shame Jimmy: that the manager caught us, I know Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the interruption was well rude Janis: yeah Janis: it was Janis: you were Jimmy: he could've let us finish if he was gonna sack me anyway Jimmy: but to be continued I suppose Janis: so spiteful Janis: what did i ever do to you simon Jimmy: you were so close Jimmy: he had to know that Jimmy: give us a minute, lad Janis: don't oversell it Jimmy: don't misremember it Janis: give me some credit Janis: 2 minutes, like Jimmy: I'd have given you loads more Jimmy: didn't wanna stop Janis: Babe Jimmy: ? Janis: you know Jimmy: say it anyway Janis: i'm so Janis: i just need to find you Jimmy: I need you to find me Jimmy: so go on Janis: I'm trying, what do you think I'm doing Jimmy: how do I know Jimmy: not tracking you Janis: 🙄 Janis: yes, i've decided to stop off for a quickie with pete first Janis: hold up Jimmy: distracted easy you Jimmy: also a heartbreaker Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: who's fault is that? Jimmy: mine & Pete's Jimmy: letting you Janis: if you had any idea how little interest i have in anyone else right now Janis: sad, really Jimmy: I don't feel sad Jimmy: neither do you Janis: not right now Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it not ever? Janis: don't Janis: don't be falling for anyone else yet Janis: i'm not ready Jimmy: you think I have any interest in anyone else myself? Jimmy: I just want you Janis: that's what i'm saying, keep it like that for a while yeah Jimmy: it is like that Jimmy: where do you think your competition is coming from? Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: shh Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: you're Jimmy: there's loads of reasons I really like you Jimmy: even if you did get me sacked Janis: bastard 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the flashbacks alone are worth it Janis: i wasn't even Janis: it was all you Jimmy: you were Jimmy: you always are Jimmy: you reckon I was taking the piss out of you for being inexperienced before but you've known what you were doing since I met you Jimmy: you're just Janis: It's not like I'd done nothing it's just Janis: learning what you like Janis: what makes you cum Jimmy: & you're a fast learner Janis: 🙄 Janis: i'm not gonna tell you you're a good teacher Jimmy: either that or I'm a slag Jimmy: easy to turn on & get off Jimmy: either way is fine Janis: don't tell me if it's that Janis: live in ignorance Jimmy: my ex would tell you it's not Janis: some girls are just lazy Janis: expect it to be Jimmy: I didn't make it very easy for her Jimmy: in her defense Jimmy: any of it Jimmy: not just Janis: don't need to say Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: I don't wanna fuck this up Jimmy: I'm not ready for that Janis: told you Janis: me either Jimmy: so don't let me Jimmy: I'm a dickhead but I really like you Jimmy: alright Janis: I know both of those things Janis: don't worry Jimmy: keep 'em in mind for a bit Janis: do my best Janis: you will be so distracting though Jimmy: not saying sorry Jimmy: where the fuck am I though? Jimmy: sorry 'bout that Janis: I am taking all possible missteps, find you eventually Jimmy: I have a headache but if you take that to mean that I don't want you to touch me when you do get to me, I'm dumping you Janis: please don't pass out seriously Janis: putting jokes of how dramatic you are aside 'cos I mean it Jimmy: I won't, I mean it, been here before Jimmy: physically but not geographically Janis: Baby Janis: can I kill him Janis: lil bit Jimmy: only if we do it together Jimmy: there's shit I wanna know from him first Janis: #couplegoals Janis: i get it Jimmy: it'll look worse than it is Jimmy: don't be weird about it Janis: I won't, I'm not inexperienced with blood thanks Jimmy: just Jimmy: I know you care Jimmy: but I'm alright Janis: I won't push it Janis: understood Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry Jimmy: why? Janis: for being weird Jimmy: name a day you weren't Jimmy: it's my top thing about you Janis: you must be weird too then Jimmy: do you think I am? Janis: well this feels like a trick question Jimmy: it's a yeah or nah one Janis: nah, such a normie, you Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: a deeper cut than the one on my face Janis: I like you, that's all that matters Jimmy: you gonna show me how much when you find me Janis: try and stop me Jimmy: I'd rather not Jimmy: you said you'd help me relax if I let you Janis: I meant it Janis: doesn't mean self-control isn't gonna be hard for me Janis: but you need gentle Jimmy: you know I hate self control Jimmy: especially yours Janis: take it up with my manager Jimmy: Twix'll be sleeping Jimmy: had a hard day Janis: you too Janis: gotta get you like 😴 Jimmy: what are you on about? It's been great Jimmy: just thinking about earlier at the CG makes me so Janis: so what Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know Janis: so tell me Jimmy: you want me to tell you how turned on I am Jimmy: that I ache for you to come back & finish what we started Jimmy: & I can't breathe 'cause it feels like forever since you touched me Jimmy: but I can still feel it too Jimmy: every time I go there in my head Jimmy: I'm back in the moment & I just Janis: I think I Janis: holy shit Janis: I don't know what I think my head is Janis: you're all I can think about Janis: all the time Janis: and that's so much better than anything else I had to think on before because you're Jimmy: it's the same for me Jimmy: that blowjob you gave me, your first one, was my best one Jimmy: that shouldn't be a sentence I'm saying Jimmy: like you shouldn't be all I think about & want Janis: I can't be sorry Janis: I want to be your best everything Janis: I want you to want me Jimmy: then you've got what you want Janis: swear Jimmy: there's enough blood here for it Janis: good thing I do live middle of nowhere Janis: what would the neighbours say Jimmy: I saw some 🐮s and they were #shook Janis: #haters Jimmy: probably reckoned they were in the abattoir Jimmy: soz ladies Janis: usually the boys that Janis: only need the one Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: teaching me loads today Janis: return the favour Janis: said i'm not gonna say it but Jimmy: there's nowt I can teach you Jimmy: you're Jimmy: just take your row of medals & don't be too smug bout it Janis: okay then let me beat my own record Jimmy: any time Jimmy: anywhere Janis: I need to, I can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: tell me what's going on in your head Janis: I didn't think it'd feel that good, just giving but it was so Janis: I don't know why people complain I'd do that all day Janis: you looked so Jimmy: if you could see how you're making me look now Janis: I'm jealous of the 🐮s honestly Janis: you really are gorgeous and I felt so Jimmy: every time I reckon I can't want you more you chat things that prove me wrong Janis: I can't wait to see you Janis: not 'cos you're lost and bloody and defenseless and I'm a predator like that Jimmy: you kissed me like you were fucking off forever Jimmy: so I need to fix that Janis: well Janis: I planned to but I have the willpower and actual self-control of a fucking crackhead when it comes to you, apparently Jimmy: did you? Janis: bit ott not like gonna-jump-off-a-cliff forever but Janis: i felt really bad Janis: feel Janis: but you said it ain't my fault and i'm chosing to believe that Jimmy: fuck all of that but the last bit Jimmy: stay Jimmy: not wherever the fuck nowhere but Janis: with you Janis: i wanna Jimmy: then just do it Janis: okay Jimmy: you scared me, don't do that Janis: i didn't mean to Jimmy: you can take the dog but my dad would probably notice the others are missing eventually Jimmy: it's just a shit plan Janis: what about you Janis: can i take you Jimmy: where are we going? Janis: supposed to say it doesn't matter because i don't know Janis: anywhere Jimmy: I'd say it don't but I'd rather not come back here Jimmy: the cows are a bit Janis: bovine Jimmy: I don't know what the fuck that means Jimmy: but if it's weird not in the good way my girlfriend is, then yeah Janis: just means like a cow, tbh, like when someone's dead slow and unmoving, bit thick Janis: Mia 'cos she's puking up her brain cells at this point Jimmy: & that girl who follows her round the most Janis: big one? Jimmy: the other 💀 one Janis: ahh, yeah Janis: fucking herd Janis: gracie is just a stupid duckling that imprinted and thinks she's a cow whilst she's waddling after 'em like Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Pete could write a #sick song 'bout that Jimmy: hit him up Janis: ha Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: got shit on my shoe, gotta get the first tweet in Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: good luck getting signal Janis: i reckon i know where you are, work on how you're gonna chat him up for tix so i can sit her front row for the drag of the century tah Jimmy: #willthemiseryeverrelent? Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: maybe we should see a show for real Jimmy: could be a laugh Janis: Yeah Janis: why not Janis: just remember you promised Jimmy: work on our heckles Jimmy: just don't get too jealous of my 😍😍 when they ain't aimed at you Jimmy: what did I promise? Janis: exactly that motherfucker 😒 Janis: no indie bands for you if this is how you're gonna be Jimmy: threesome or nowt, I hear you Janis: with your taste? nowt Jimmy: you love Pete Jimmy: what you chatting Janis: He's the only exception, I've told you many times Janis: special 💕 Jimmy: & I've only got eyes for you & him Jimmy: Barry when I'm wasted Janis: mhmm Janis: likely story, slag Jimmy: keep wounding me Jimmy: near death Jimmy: can't go on Janis: go find a girl with quirky coloured hair to cry on Jimmy: these cows are gonna eat me when I hit the ground so unlikely Jimmy: but a boy can dream Janis: 🖕 they're herbivores, you dickhead Janis: how you like your women too, I'm sure Jimmy: give a shit what they eat Jimmy: cows or girls Jimmy: both are eyeing me all the time Jimmy: like they wanna make something happen Janis: genuinely hate you Janis: so much i'm not walking to the end of this lane, come here if you're not a loitering murderer i'm looking at rn Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: there's the romantic I fell for Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: baby, take a step for me Jimmy: go on Janis: don't baby me Janis: you said you'd be nice Janis: 😠 Jimmy: alright, Janis take a step for me Jimmy: please Janis: [Does, a tiny one] Jimmy: [walks the rest of the way up to her & kisses her 'cause well that's just how he do] Janis: [casually covered in his blood, hot, touches where the split is gently and licks her finger after] Janis: let's go clean you up Jimmy: just Jimmy: [has to kiss her again harder cos wouldn't we all] Janis: yeah Janis: now let me be good and fix this Jimmy: You already are Jimmy: let me have Jimmy: [more kisses cos where is the chill on any given day] Janis: I want more Janis: but I don't wanna hurt you Jimmy: you won't Janis: [is kissing his neck 'cos safer] Jimmy: [enjoy his reaction cows 'cos we know he's living for it] Janis: [so many little kisses] Janis: is it just there or are there any bruises I need to miss too Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: which sounds like a line to make you find out but I don't Janis: I'll be careful then Janis: check you thoroughly later, obviously Jimmy: it's a blur now Jimmy: like it didn't happen but obviously Janis: Yeah Janis: you don't have to think about it right now, if you don't want Jimmy: & I feel like I've been walking to find you for half the day Janis: I promise it weren't that long Janis: middle of nowhere and lost though you are Jimmy: I'm just saying I don't know what's my dad & what's how unfit I am Janis: It's alright, can work it out together Janis: and go slow now I've ascertained you aren't bleeding out Jimmy: can we stay here for a bit Jimmy: not ages just Janis: if you've got over your moophobia Janis: 'course Jimmy: you'll protect me Janis: yes baby Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause we all know that was multi-layered chat thank you] Janis: sit down though Janis: [puts her jacket down 'cos remember when yes you do it wasn't that long ago] Jimmy: [sits but pulls her into his lap 'cause obviously] Jimmy: alright Janis: am now Janis: you? Jimmy: am now Jimmy: [is just touching her hair so gently 'cause fave like soz for the state of his hands probably babe] Janis: [motions that he should lift his arms so she can take his top off him carefully 'cos already bloody and uses it to wipe away the blood that has dried around his eyes] Jimmy: [does & tries not to visibly wince cos hard & northern but actually a soft boy so] Janis: [gives him neck and shoulder massages when she's done, as she's putting his top back on Janis: there Janis: might not have got lost if you could see better Jimmy: I'll use that excuse, tah Janis: allow it Janis: and i ain't telling Jimmy: me either Jimmy: twitter don't need to know everything Jimmy: bit of blasphemy Janis: alright Janis: no God in your house, you've told me Jimmy: I'll let the world know what a good nurse you are though Janis: Not letting just anyone bleed on me, you know Jimmy: sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: don't be Jimmy: there's so much Jimmy: [touches her face where some is but like not in a way he technically needs to after a sec 'cos I just have to bye] Janis: just looks it, head injuries always do Janis: you don't need stitches or nowt, I wouldn't be sat here if you did Janis: even if it's Janis: nice Jimmy: if I did I woulda had 'em first time Jimmy: do I need to be worried you're like an expert on head injuries for some reason Janis: 🔪🐰 Janis: told ya Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: you're fucking cute Janis: do that again yeah Jimmy: you don't get to call me cute sitting there looking like that Jimmy: you're Jimmy: being really cute Janis: [makes a dorky face which she means to be ugly but come on] Janis: what about now? Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause can't like he gonna say some extra shit if I don't] Janis: [touches his lips after] Janis: i'm glad you don't have a fat lip Janis: it'd be really hard not to kiss you Janis: i might die Jimmy: I still would Jimmy: that hero 💪 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: but next time I'll tell him Janis: aim lower, right Janis: [points finger gun at his heart] Jimmy: that's your shot not his Jimmy: so be careful Janis: [crosses self, does scout's honour etc] Jimmy: [does a lil lol cos she a cute nerd] Janis: that might be one of my favourite noises you make Jimmy: don't commit yet Janis: i didn't Janis: sensible, me Jimmy: how sensible? Jimmy: you gonna stop me if I Jimmy: [is touching her in some saucy manner excuse you sir] Janis: very sensible Janis: be an idiot to stop you when Jimmy: when? Janis: when I missed you so much Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & moving down her whole body, moving clothes out of his way as best he can 'cause missed her too obvs] Jimmy: what about now? Janis: [casually gripping onto his t-shirt really hard 'cos doesn't wanna hurt him but damn] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm meant to be Jimmy: I said, it's alright Jimmy: [carries on 'cause he's that dickhead] Janis: oh fuck Janis: don't start this somewhere we can't finish it again Jimmy: the cows aren't gonna tell us to stop Janis: so you trust 'em now do you Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: [kisses her on the mouth before we know what's gonna happen oh boy] Janis: just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Jimmy: I told you, you won't Jimmy: trust yourself Jimmy: [starts from the top 'cause there & back at it again at Krispy Kreme] Janis: [starts unbuttoning him 'cos impatient] Jimmy: [likewise with whatever she's wearing 'cause he didn't ask like a phone sex line for once so idk] Janis: I want you so bad you know Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but still like that you told me Janis: feel it some more Jimmy: [does] Janis: Shit Janis: That's so Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I Janis: Please don't stop Jimmy: not now I've started, you know that Janis: yeah but promise Janis: I like it when you promise Jimmy: on what? a cow Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: [says that he promises out loud] Janis: [kisses him 'cos back at it again with nothing but ily to say] Jimmy: [lowkey drops his phone & don't even notice 'cause hot] Janis: [Hit 'em with an after 'cos] Jimmy: is it weird that we always type instead of just talking? Janis: probably but Janis: not like we do it when we're alone Janis: and not in public Jimmy: we're alone now Jimmy: are you counting the cows? Janis: yeah, they're people too, they don't need to hear me going all out Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: they heard everything Janis: shh Janis: never happened Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's not 'cause Jimmy: you Janis: what? Janis: are you concussed? Janis: look at me Jimmy: you don't type it 'cause you can't delete what you chat before it comes out your mouth, do you? Jimmy: that's not the reason Janis: does it matter Jimmy: depends what the answer is Janis: then I won't answer Jimmy: that is an answer Jimmy: I'm not stupid Janis: no it isn't Janis: you can't assume that it's in favour of your bias just 'cos Jimmy: if you don't wanna tell me it's 'cause you think the answer is one I don't wanna hear Jimmy: & I know what I don't wanna hear Jimmy: so Janis: I don't wanna answer 'cos you said it mattered so either way Jimmy: self control yeah Jimmy: just edit it a bit Jimmy: I get it Janis: what you being like this for Jimmy: is it real or not? Jimmy: that's why it matters Janis: why would I fake fuck you Janis: what would be the point of that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: you wouldn't but Jimmy: anything else you say to me Jimmy: are you just hitting delete on whatever you wanna say Jimmy: I'm just asking Janis: are you Janis: 'cos you seem to be more ready for this conversation than I am Jimmy: I asked you, don't turn it round on me 'cause you don't wanna tell me I'm right Janis: You aren't right Janis: can we go now Jimmy: I suppose Janis: what's the point in asking if you don't believe me anyway Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: didn't have to Jimmy: I didn't mean to Janis: whatever Janis: come on Jimmy: [stops her 'cause boy you gotta fix this excuse you] Jimmy: not like this Janis: you said you ain't got nowhere else to go and i said you don't owe me nothing Jimmy: I'd rather stay here if that's what you reckon me going with you is Jimmy: whatever I've said Janis: don't be dramatic just Jimmy: It's not Jimmy: I care about you, alright Jimmy: that's why I asked Jimmy: & 'cause I trust you & that's not nowt to me Jimmy: it's bigger than like any of the rest of the bollocks of knowing someone Janis: alright Janis: just 'cos I hold back some things doesn't mean I'm lying or whatever you think it means Janis: we're not going that far back, you said, not everything has to be said for the shit that is to matter, does it Jimmy: loads of people have kept loads of shit from me & if you're gonna be another one then I just wanna know first this time that you are Jimmy: but nah I don't need your life story Janis: Well what do you need Janis: 'cos if you're gonna hold it against me when I tell you something later you wanted to know now then Jimmy: I'm not trying to be that dickhead Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: he's never not in my head Jimmy: my dad Jimmy: & that fucks things up sometimes, I know Jimmy: but me, I don't want to Janis: I know Janis: however much I don't know about the whole situation there, I know that Janis: I'm not holding that against you, am I Jimmy: you can Jimmy: I hurt you, you can hurt me Janis: I don't want to Janis: and you didn't Jimmy: a bit Janis: just shut up yeah Jimmy: just let me say sorry first Jimmy: 'cause I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: alright Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he's shit with words & so that's a better sorry] Janis: it's just been a shit day, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: but that's not an excuse Jimmy: I don't wanna do that Janis: can be Janis: it's valid Jimmy: I like you too much for that bollocks Jimmy: it's valid that I'm a dickhead & you can hate me a bit Jimmy: nowt else Janis: well I don't alright so stop Jimmy: [takes her hand & holds it] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [drops hand 'cos not over it fully] Janis: can you just Janis: learn how to time this shit better Jimmy: It's not like there's a plan Janis: well this is the second time you've done this basically directly after so Janis: probably think about getting one Jimmy: I Jimmy: how else can I say I'm sorry? Janis: you can't Janis: just warning you, mood killer Jimmy: bollocks can't I Jimmy: come on Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: just wait like five minutes next time, yeah Jimmy: I'm not planning a next time Janis: fine Janis: [starts walking] Janis: keep up Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: are you serious Jimmy: like you said, it's been a shit day Janis: thanks a fucking lot Jimmy: I'm doing you a favor girl Jimmy: the mood's dead Janis: who asked you to Janis: and fuck you Jimmy: you're asking me Jimmy: I can actually read, like Janis: where Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fuck off Janis: where Janis: I didn't Jimmy: get between the lines Janis: oh, all the stuff I didn't say, yeah? Janis: that's all you're concerned with now Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: no Jimmy: you've said enough to be going on with Jimmy: I made it too weird, it's not on you anyway Janis: Jesus Christ Janis: seriously Janis: just stop, come on Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: what are you doing here? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: & I'm just Janis: What do you mean what am I doing here? Janis: we're Janis: I'm your girlfriend Janis: and not such a shitty fucking person I wanna see you go back to your Dad so he can make your day worse what the actual fuck Janis: how is that not on me, that you'd rather Jimmy: I want you to want me to stay 'cause you do Jimmy: not 'cause he's a fucking dick Jimmy: but now you don't Jimmy: 'cause I'm as much of a dick Janis: how many times and ways can I tell you I do Janis: and you ain't Janis: this is a ridiculous conversation Jimmy: [this boy is lowkey about to cry my soft son] Jimmy: I don't know what to do Jimmy: [sits] Janis: [sits with] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm sorry Janis: can't we just agree to forget about it Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos v sad] Janis: Tell me what to do for you, babe Jimmy: don't leave Jimmy: I'm sorry I fucked it up but don't Janis: I ain't Janis: it's alright Janis: I mean it Janis: nothing that ain't fixable Jimmy: so let me know how to fix it Janis: just don't go home Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I don't know why I said that Jimmy: proof that I'm not censoring myself I suppose Janis: I know you aren't Janis: you don't have to, I know I Janis: probably overreact to shit sometimes Jimmy: [actually lols again cos same bitch] Jimmy: me too Jimmy: you said, thank fuck nobody was relying on you or whatever when I was talking about Bobby & Cass before Jimmy: I'm not trying to be a burden of bollocks for you today Jimmy: that's it Janis: [lols with] Janis: You aren't Janis: I was just trying to show I knew I had it easier in that respect Janis: I think Jimmy: I've fucked your day up from getting sacked onward Jimmy: you don't need it Janis: well I want it so deal with it Jimmy: [looks at her with love bitch] Janis: [makes stupid face again like 'what' 'cos cannot deal] Jimmy: [kisses her cos likewise can't deal & will say highkey shit] Janis: Are you ready now? Jimmy: [kisses her again cos cheeky like that] Jimmy: am now Jimmy: are you ready to get drunk with some other dickheads? Janis: as long as one of 'em is you Jimmy: top dickhead me Jimmy: king of Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: we need to sort ourselves out first we look mad Janis: bit halloween for april maybe Jimmy: only a bit Jimmy: [takes a quick pic of her so she can see how much blood is on her] Janis: Well, if I didn't love myself before Janis: 😍 Jimmy: I like it but Jimmy: I'm weird Janis: you're embracing it now, yeah Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: for right now Janis: gonna lose it's sting as an insult but Janis: I like it Jimmy: I'll think of a new one Jimmy: it's alright Janis: your creativity knows no bounds, babe Jimmy: gotta stay #goals Jimmy: & keep my muse in a job Jimmy: one of us needs to be working Janis: a suitably #richgirl 'job' Janis: one notch above calling myself an 'influencer' still, thank God Jimmy: if I draw you an artsy nude so you can keep your actual of twitter, will you love me madly again? Janis: perhaps Janis: if you're gonna make me look like an old man then no Jimmy: 👌 it'll be my masterpiece Jimmy: no wrinkles just blood, 'cause your #kink Janis: you like it too shut up Jimmy: could be from Mia's severed head Jimmy: everybody'd like it then Janis: Hot Janis: I'd really love you forever then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: consider it done Janis: [Gets up and puts out a hand to pull him up] Jimmy: [takes her hand 'cause he WANNA HOLD IT] Janis: I promised to patch you up Janis: and give you a blowjob, actually so Janis: get a wriggle on Jimmy: you could've got out of that Jimmy: I didn't remember Janis: 💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: I wouldn't forget it once it happened Jimmy: that's the real 💔 Janis: I won't feel sorry for you, boy Janis: the cheek, not to remember everything I say Janis: how un #goals of you Jimmy: you distracted me with a lot of #goals shit you did right here Jimmy: in my defense Janis: I don't know if we're allowing it Janis: I'll consult the girls Jimmy: baby Jimmy: please Janis: You know that actually works on me Janis: how shaming Jimmy: [whispers it in her ear too 'cause he's a dickhead] Jimmy: how do you feel now instead? Janis: I really cannot go down on you right here Janis: I draw the line so stop please Jimmy: [sexy little earlobe moment 'cause he's a shit] Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Um, no you don't Janis: [Pulls him back and kisses him] Jimmy: make your mind up, girl Jimmy: stopping or starting Janis: Your fault Jimmy: I was making you feel no shame Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: Hmm 😑 Janis: you're very Jimmy: do I wanna know Janis: you know you wanna know everything Jimmy: but we should go before it gets properly dark Janis: why, you scared Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: but I do remember you saying you wanted to see me when you were blowing me so Jimmy: not using all my battery on the torch Jimmy: don't like you that much Janis: 😏 Janis: suddenly he remembers Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: the kiss brought it back to me Janis: not gonna have you claiming amnesia from this Janis: calling bullshit right now Jimmy: 😂 Janis: can't be throwing out that many cliches Janis: even these morons will cotton on Jimmy: me? cliched Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 😶 Jimmy: if they made a flick on my life dickhead's be saying that don't happen Jimmy: #original Janis: send the screenplay in to my little brother then Janis: I'll check it out some time Jimmy: I'll get on that now I got all this free time Janis: man of leisure Jimmy: gonna have to do my homework Jimmy: no excuses Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: ew Janis: i'm not doing it with you Jimmy: come over & we'll say we're doing it Jimmy: 😏😏 Janis: that's more like it, nerd Jimmy: you're a nerd Janis: I am not Janis: 👊🍱💰 Jimmy: [playfully shoves her] Jimmy: the fact you reckon that's the kind of lunch I'm taking Jimmy: sort it out, rich girl Janis: [shoulder barges back but gentle 'cos careful girl] Janis: I was very limited by emojis Janis: and did not stalk you, so Janis: I'll ask Gracie Jimmy: you coulda done 🍕🍞🍟🧀 you weirdo Jimmy: even 🥗 Janis: yeah right 😂 Jimmy: what you laughing for? Jimmy: you coulda even done 🍽 Jimmy: you fucked up, nerd Janis: you don't eat salads Janis: you rude bitch Jimmy: I don't eat whatever the fuck emoji you went with Jimmy: [does a hair ruffle like he's Tess in the past & she's Fraze but he's a pisstaking fool] Janis: it was a box i was aiming for lunch box Janis: 😡 Janis: [does face] Jimmy: [lols again cos she cute] Janis: Don't think you can cute your way outta this Jimmy: what if I'm hot? Janis: wouldn't that be the dream Janis: c'est la vie, nerd Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: I'm in so much pain now Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [kisses him but pulls on his pouty lip] Jimmy: 😳 Janis: So cute Jimmy: [kisses her cos she's cute & hot & the dream bye] Janis: Okay Janis: you're hot too Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: now we've established that, come on Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍