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baejax-the-great · 1 year ago

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[First, I was rereading "Agua Caliente" and I remembered a song that played a lot in my childhood (and I had kind of forgotten) bc the lyrics somehow matched the Patrochilles dynamic in this fic. This is kind of funny bc I would never in my life associate sertanejo (it's a type of country music, I think? Idk I've never heard country, but the aesthetic is kind of similar. Anyway, it's pretty popular here) with shipping an ancient Greek couple in modern AU, but ok. And I went to listen to this song again and now I'm listening to it on a loop, so thanks for that.]

Now the real question! It's perhaps a strange question, but do you plan what you write? Like, before you write, do you have the whole structured idea in mind? I could have sworn it was like that reading the fics, but then some notes on Ao3 and certain things you say on Tumblr started to make me reflect that maybe you don't plan as much as I thought… in that case, how do you manage to connect everything so well without looking like something was left out/without prior planning??? It's magic, technique, luck or actually do you plan?

Sorry if the question is a bit "???" but I'm REALLY thinking about this! I used to write fics years ago and I was in the "won't plan" group and as expected the fics came out obviously unplanned (but that was ok with me bc it was just to pass the time and I didn't expect it to be an engaging story or anything), and here's why this ask exists: it's precisely bc I was in the “won't plan” group that I'm really intrigued by the possibility of you NOT planning bc it just doesn't seem that way reading your fics...

The short answer is that I do plan what I write, but probably not enough.

I rarely start writing a fic with an entire idea. Often it's just a vibe. But I won't start posting a fic until I know exactly what the conflict is and how it will be resolved.

This was easy in ATG, for example, because I'd already written the resolution before I even decided to write the fic. Structuring it by Patroclus's age also helped, because I could make an outline with the stuff that needed to happen and then jam stuff I wanted to happen around it. That "Stuff" could be really specific--obviously Pat had to graduate school and Achilles had to go to the Olympics on specific years, and it was also like, this section should have them fighting. This section should have them getting along, but Achilles is hiding this big lie so there should be a weird tension.

In Sunset, it took me longer to figure out the conflict/resolution. Sure, I knew that Achilles was going to cry on a Chicago street corner and get naked in Pat's kitchen, but why was he there? How did he get there? I had already written Achilles settling in to Pat's place and the scene where he gets into the lake before I decided on Aphrodite being the key to explain this whole thing. Then I knew Pat had to die. But a lot of the stuff that happened in the middle was sort of on a whim (particularly Achilles getting on the wrong L train-that was definitely just an impulse I had while finishing that chapter). Tecmessa's chapter was also a later addition, and a deeply self-indulgent one, hah.

Agua was the least planned of these three, and in some ways it was because the idea was a lot simpler. After three years, Achilles runs into Patroclus again and they reconcile in some way. I knew exactly how Patroclus would feel about the whole thing (relieved, guilty, upset, wounded, hopeful, upset about feeling hopeful). My original plan was just to set up Achilles in his shop and his new life doing his best and have him run into Patroclus at the beach, and eventually they'd go to the desert. I wrote parts of their meeting first, and then I started writing the beginning and ended up scrapping most of that. I realized I was going to have to do a lot more writing for poor Achilles. My lack of planning here did cause some difficulties--I had like three versions of that date he went on with Pat with different endings. One involved Pat in the hospital, lmao. Zag and Meg coming to stay with Achilles were kind of whims, and I had meant to have Hypnos show up for "his turn" and have Achilles send him home because no, these were not team-building exercises, but then I forgot 😩.

The reason that I need to know the conflict/resolution at the start is because I do think all the scenes in a fic should relate to it in some way, either by building up the conflict or setting the groundwork for a resolution. Even for the impulsive scenes I add just for fun, I think about how they can do this. For example, Achilles getting lost on the L allowed me to build up Pat's unreasonable anxiety, show that Ajax was also feeling it to some extent, and end in Pat saying "fuck it" and just giving in to making out with his hot, ancient boyfriend. It was also something that happened to a friend who was visiting me from out of the country and didn't have a working cell phone. That moment of watching him through the window of the L as it slowly pulled away is just etched in my memory.

In Agua Caliente, almost anything could relate to the resolution, because the resolution was "Achilles having a life," thus it didn't require as much planning. Zagreus's apartment getting flooded (something that happened to me in grad school) showed Achilles attempting to be flexible with some success while allowing himself to become closer to Zagreus, which led to a point of connection with his kids. It also made it easier to explain why Achilles was doing Zag's delivery that day when he ran into Pat. There were only a couple things that truly needed to happen in AC for the fic to make sense, and that was a resolution with Achilles' kids and then with Patroclus, of course.

I do get loose threads sometimes, side conflicts or things that didn't end up going anywhere, and those things tend to annoy me until I figure out a way to resolve them or make them otherwise relevant. Or I don't. Or sometimes I realize I need to add something/someone into the fic, and it would have been smoother if I'd added it in an earlier chapter so it didn't seem like a convenient thing I'd just thought of to solve a problem. That's always annoying to me. But whatever. It's fanfic. That's the risk of posting while you write.

#actually now that I'm thinking about the L thing #did Julia suggest it?#I think I talked to her a lot about this part of the fic #either way it was a late addition #also looked up sertanejo music and reddit recommended the song o soberano #I speak zero portuguese beyond obrigado #but it had 'sober' in the title which felt fitting #I also broke my own rule with WitD #I don't actually know exactly how I'll resolve this atm #though I woke up with some ideas #anyway this is rambly #I once drew a truly shitty diagram of my process #if you have more specific questions I can try to answer #def should have had coffee before writing this

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habitual-creatures · 4 months ago

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Hey mystery guest,, When I come over I was wondering if you can teach me how to sew? :3

I've never learned,,, 😔

- 💜 anon

Oh,that'dbeinteresting... IcanteachyouPortugeseifyouwant.

#💜 anon #anonymous asks #???#ask response #answered asks #( ooc > )#he's gonna keep talking to you lmao #he doesn't care if you tell him to fuck off #also. no i don't speak Portuguese. this is just a random IC offer

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stcnefruit · 11 months ago

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— open starter.

status - open to all, but pls read my rules and mobile about (pinned post) first before interacting. don't like my starters. muse - vasti inaiê souza gonçalves, sculptor, potter and printmaker. bisexual, uses she/her pronouns. human, thirty. tag linked in source. wanted opposites (in order of priority) - m/nb/f, 30+. mocs (muns/muses of color) preferred. wanted connections - literal strangers, an ex, fellow artist, someone they haven't seen since sixth grade, as long as they're a little richer than vasti is (and not related) go literally batshit plot - they're on their way to personally deliver one of their commissions but they haven't slept well in over 48 hours (they've slept enough to not get pulled over, they can drive) and really should have hired a truck or sent it through the post but hey they've done it before and the client is right across town (or city, cough) so it shouldn't be too bad right? they'll make it except you just kind of yk. rear-ended them at the stoplight and their shit's in the trunk bc it couldn't fit in the back seat and now you might have just fucked shit up if that packing wrap isn't as good as it's marketed to be. potential meet cute with insurance problems and career threatening happenings basically, what could be better than that

— she hears it before she feels it, the way the body of the car lurches underneath her at the street corner. the rattling in the back is too loud for her to ignore, and she's already doing inventory on what she has with her. registration papers, house keys, studio keys, that flat tire kit she's never had to use in her life and hopes she won't have to now, the delivery— oh God, fuck, the delivery. in the trunk. surrounded by a shit ton of bubble wrap and cling film and whatever the fuck else she wrapped it in at 3am two days ago and placed it in its box, but last she checked no flat tire makes that kind of sound like the kind where there's a bit too much metal and you know in your gut you'll need to call your insurance company. both of them, in her case, if the vehicle in her rearview mirror is giving anything to go by. que se lixe isso, this is not a good day. her blood pressure was not made for this. neither was her neck, for that matter, but she doubts there was enough speed behind the impact to cause any whiplash worth worrying about. she unlocks her phone as she steps out, car door slamming closed behind her, insurance already on speed dial. as a precaution she takes a few photos of the other car's license plate, now neatly tucked (along with the front bumper) just barely under her chassis—she is not paying for this shit if she doesn't have to, especially if the driver in question has enough money to be driving a car like that right into her sedan and especially if they might have just jeopardized her commission. three months, hundreds of hours, possibly damaged in her trunk because it's the one day she didn't have her morning coffee and decided to put it there instead of the backseat, bubble wrap or no bubble wrap. yeah, she'll milk every last penny from that payout while she's at it. might as well be pissed for a reason. 'hey,' she says, coming up to the window as it rolls down, 'i'm sorry, this is going to sound so completely fucking obvious and i know this and you know this but i think you just rear-ended me? and there's something in my trunk that i really need to get out and check on before this day goes any further to shit than it already has so if you could please try and back the fuck up, it would be much appreciated. juro o túmulo da minha mãe.' her mother is alive, thank you very much, but it's not like they need to know that in english or portuguese. // @indiestarter

#* open starters.#( * starters - vasti. )#( * threads - vasti. )#indie rp #indie oc rp #indie bi rp #independent rp #indie starter #open starter #( * so like. funny thing when it's OOC/my main i like censor everything. but at this point i've been on Tumblr so long that the #| asterisks are basically me and my hyperfixation and aesthetic choice than anything else bc IC????? no asterisks babe we are writing #| this sh*t out [see. exactly what i mean look at the starter and then look at this. smh]#| anyway say hi to Vasti!!!!!!! treat her nicely she's been rotting my brain for the past week and a half but whatever you do #| this is not good shipping practice for your artwork do not follow this advice tho in her defense she's running on low sleep #| and zero coffee. i also speak no Portuguese whatsoever i get all of this off the net so if it's wrong i'm sorry. i'll fix it sksksksk #| tldr; it's here i got off my ass and wrote a medium length starter after years of not RPing everybody cheer. do not feel pressured #| to match the length this happened bc i am a fic/book writer first and foremost i don't do short unless i'm replying rip )

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somedaytakethetime · 2 years ago

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So... @studysimsx.. I have something for you 😶👉🏻👈🏻 I have something for anyone else that might want to read it too, of course. Prompt: Slowburn, a little angsty, childhood friends to total fools in love Nicolò Zaniolo thingie was requested and.. well... 😶😶.. here it is. I hope you enjoy it, I gave it my best shot and hopefully that's okay 😭 Rating: totally family friend. There's a few curse words in there, and a few kisses at the end. Only the absolute faintest mention of a broken nose and a potential broken hand. But it's all very Catholic, I promise 😂 IT'S ALSO ALL VERY VERY WORDY AND I'M SORRY I CAN'T WRITE SHORT STUFF

Also little side note: a somewhat recurring part of the plot is the reader, aka all of you that might find this, being from another country. I'm portuguese so, being foreign is part of my identity and I like the cuteness that can arise from teaching someone parts of my language and have them teach me theirs 🥺

You meet as children. Your family has just relocated to Italy, your father found a better job and you've all been packed up and uprooted with him. You're excited and scared, you're so young and you don't speak this different language that you hear all around you once you arrive at your new home. You have no clue how to communicate with anyone around, you're in a class full of children that sound so strange to your ears, you miss home. One the first day you break down in tears in the middle of class and you can't understand if the children are mocking you or trying to help you. That's when you meet him. He's in your class too. The boy with the kind eyes. That's how you think of him once you see him. He's smiling softly as he takes your hand. You can't understand a word he says but he's being so gentle and calming that you stop crying. The teacher tries her best to communicate with you too, she's soothing and pretty. She's your favourite teacher immediately, that's something that will always remain in your head. The boy sits down beside you and holds your hand through the whole class, nodding and smiling encouragingly whenever you try really hard to say the same things they say. He's your favourite too in that moment. And that's something that will remain for many years to come, but you're yet unware of it.

"Nicolò" he smiles softly and points to himself, waits and expects you to give your name too. You say it, soft and slow, and point to yourself just like he did. He has trouble saying your name, just like you have saying his. He's clumsy with it, fumbles it a little but his smile doesn't falter at all, he's not embarrassed to make a mistake. You're new to him, everything about you is new to him, just like he is to you. But you're scared and overwhelmed, he isn't. He doesn't scare easily, doesn't feel overwhelmed, he has a confidence you have never seen before and it impresses you. You want to be like that. So you follow his guidance, which he offers freely and gladly. He sits next to you for every class, holds your hand when your voice shakes and tears sting in your eyes after you feel like you fumbled this new language and embarrassement burns inside you. "Calmati" he says so softly. You have no clue what it means yet but it has a softening effect on your shame and nerves. You remember how he's not embarrassed to make mistakes, he laughs it off when he fumbles words too. And this is his language. Yet, he's fumbling words. You wonder if he's doing it on purpose, to help you feel better, but you think that's silly. He would never do that, he barely knows you, why would he make himself look foolish just to help you feel better? But still.. it lingers. You slowly learn as the weeks go by, slowly start to feel better about this new language, feel less ashamed of not understanding it. Other children befriend you, the girls are all so sweet and kind, they help you so much, but the boy keeps by your side. You like him the best still. You'll always like him the best, you know it in your heart.

What you didn't know is that he's somewhat of a big deal. Well, not really, not quite. But his father is. You don't quite understand anything at that age but his father is someone that people know. You hear the children make a bit of a fuss when he comes to some afterschool activities one time. You feel shy around him when Nico introduces you to them, feel shy around his mother too, she's very pretty. They're nice to you, they say some things you don't understand, they speak too fast but whatever they said makes Nico's face turn pink and he looks sour and huffs at his parents. They just laugh and ruffle his hair. You don't get to spend much time with him but you discover something. He's really good with his feet. A game somehow starts with all the boys and he's good. You don't care too deeply about football, or any sport for that matter, but even you can tell he's good. Your father says so too, "That boy is going to be good, he has a spark.", and your father is always right so you accept his opinion as your own. You watch Nico play with the other boys, watch him laugh when he slips and gets up, watch him celebrate and keep going even when they try to hold him back. And you hope your father is right. You can't explain it, you don't understand it, but you're so fond of this boy. He's been so kind to you. So encouraging, so supportive. He didn't have to be, but he is. And you want to pay that kindness back, you have nothing to give, but you wish that one day you'll manage to repay his kindness. You close your eyes and you wish so hard that he'll be good and his dreams will come true, whatever they may be. And in a more quiet thought, you wish that he won't leave you behind when he does.

The years feel like they drag on. Yet, your parents keep saying they're rushing by. You grow and grow, get better and better, you start to feel like you're home now. Your parents are happy, your siblings are happy. And you start to feel happy too. You make friends, the words get easier, you keep pushing forward. It gets easier and easier, things change and get better. But your friendship with Nicolò doesn't change. Even when you land in different classes, he's still your best friend. No matter how many years pass by both of you, he's still the one that you want beside you. He's still the one you spend the most time with outside of school. It's still his voice that you hear in your head, every time you're nervous or embarrassed or scared, "Calmati". It became your mantra when you understood what it meant. You still hear it in his childlike voice even though his voice is deeper now. When you close your eyes in moments of stress you still feel his hand holding yours firmly as he said it. And when you open them he's there. He's always there. And you're always with him too. You've followed him to games when you could over the years, you still do the best you can to support him. Show up on your own when your parents can't accompany you and your friends don't want to go. You're there for him, because he was there for you. That very first day when you cried. He was there. And you promised yourself you'd repay the kindness. As the years pass there's something.. something that you never quite allowed yourself to understand before. Nico gets rather handsome. He always was the sweet boy with the kind eyes, but he starts to become.. something. You don't know what. But it makes your heart flutter a little. It makes you feel warmer around him. Teenaged hormones aren't much help in trying to figure it out. Because they make it worse. The need to spend time with him starts to become.. more annoying. Especially because he's hormonal now too. And the other girls can see that he's handsome. "Don't tell me that you're jealous now? Come on, you'll always be my special girl. We're best friends, remember?" he always says with that smirk, that teasing smirk. The cruel smirk, you call it. The cruel smirk that makes your heart flutter and makes you huff and insult him softly because he doesn't get it. He still goes off with other girls. So you can't explain it to him either. Because he wouldn't get it.

Your first boyfriend causes a strain on things. Nicolò is pissed. He can't stand that guy, absolutely despises him. He knows he's going to break your heart and he already wants to crack his face before he even has the chance for it. He knows he's been going around a bit, but he likes girls and the girls like him. It's not that deep to him. He's not in love. He can't be because… you wouldn't understand. He can't tell you, it would be pointless. He knows you're best friends. He gets it. This is it. He accepts that. But he doesn't accept that you're dating who he likes to think of as his biggest rival. He's fuming when you tell him. You don't talk for weeks after that. He can't even bear to look at you. Especially not when you're with him. In this time he knows he does more wrongs than he does rights. He's not proud of himself at all, but he's doing what he needs to to make it hurt less. Because it hurts. He'd been imagining that you could be by each other's sides forever and things seem different now. That guy is a pebble in his shoe constantly. Even after you try to make things better between you. He tries to be polite and collected but it's so hard. Nico will always think of that as the lowest point of your lives, he's miserable. And he knows you are too. He can see it in your eyes. You look sad all the time. Especially when that idiot starts to turn. Like he knew he would. He ends up dumping you for another girl. You're heartbroken. Nico finds out from a girl that knows her. And he's definitely not proud of what he does that afternoon. But it had to be done. He ends up at your house, you're in total tatters, and he comforts you. He pushes your questions aside in favour of holding you while you cry over a broken heart. He thinks he might have a broken hand but he knows for a fact that idiot definitely has a broken nose so it makes up for it. He lies and tells you he got in a tiff during practice and they all had a brawl. You don't find out that he beat up your ex boyfriend for at least a few years and by the time you find out there's no point in scolding him for it. All he does is laugh anyway, "What did you expect me to do? He broke my favourite girl's heart. I don't allow anyone to do that to my best friend." the cruel smirk is back by then. So is the way your heart flutters around him.

Nearing adulthood changes everything. He's been on the rise this whole time. But everything changes when he starts to make it to big clubs. They don't treat him the way he deserves, there's so much anger and heartbreak during these years. He feels like no matter how hard he tries, he keeps being told he's not good enough to be really big. As big as he deserves to be. As big as you hoped and wished he would be all those years ago. You stick by him, keep him company, keep going to every game. You become his support, his comfort. You get invested in this game now, truly invested. He teaches you things and you start to make sense of it all. You start to get even better than he is at understanding the tactical side, but he's gifted he doesn't need to understand the deep logic, he just needs to do it. Always says with a teasing laugh "I don't care about logic, my feet just go and I follow. That's all that needs to happen.". And it does. He tries harder and harder to prove himself. Overworks himself. Falls in and out of heartbreak, and you're the one that holds his hand now. "Calmati", you're the one that tells him now. It gets both harder and easier for you. You've finally understood what the fluttering feeling is. But you're rational now. You understand you're only best friends. As long as you can stay that way, that's all you need. "You won't ever leave me, will you, Nicolò? You promise?" and he always gives you a smile, that same smile that he gave you on the first day, "Never. I will never ever leave you. We're best friends, remember? I promise it'll always be that way no matter what happens.". And you believe him. Even as he gets in a few messy relationships. Even as his personality starts to shift and become.. different. Even as he finally makes it and starts to get really big and you can tell it's clearly getting to his head. He keeps promising the same, and you try so hard to believe him. But the more time passes, the less you start to believe it. He's not the same he was. Louder, flashier, more arrogant at times. He does things you don't think that little boy you met all those years ago would do, he says things that don't feel right coming from his voice. You start to fear you're losing him. The less time you spend together, the more he leaves you to go out with other people, louder and flashier people, the more scared you get that he'll leave. And it's starting to wear on you. You keep trying to stand by your promise, to give back that kindness he gave you, but it's so hard when he barely feels the same now. Even when you go to the games, so much louder and brighter than they ever were before, he pays attention to others before he notices you. Hurts like hell. He wouldn't undertand why. You feel… forgotten. And one night, when he breaks that promise, it all crashes down.

You were going to have a night in together to watch that film you've been wanting to so much. You cooked dinner, his favourite, and you had everything ready. And time keeps ticking by. The food gets cold. He doesn't reply to your texts. He doesn't answer your calls. You eat alone and mope until you feel like moping no more. In a moment of wildness you get dressed. Put on that one outfit that you love and feel amazing in. Because.. Nico complimented you once in this. You watch yourself in the mirror and you can see it happening all over again. His eyes darkening as he looked you up and down, the way he paused and his body froze in place. He took so long appraising you and then his voice sound.. rough.. when he said "You look amazing in that.." the look he gave you after.. it still makes your blood rush in your veins. You shake yourself out of that thought, you take a deep breath, maybe tonight someone else can make your blood rush in your veins. You're tired of feeling pathetic. He doesn't like you, you tell yourself as you put your shoes on and walk out of the door with your purse in hand. You don't even know where you're going but your senses drive you to this club. You've been here before. A few times with Nico, when he took you with his other friends too. You wouldn't say it's the best place ever, but it's definitely a nice place, nicer than many other dingy spots you've been to in your teens when you were sneaking out at night with your friends. The bodyguard at the entrance smiles at you and he eyes you a little. Normally you'd feel uncomfortable, you still are a little, but he's not unattractive and for once you're allowing yourself to feel empowered by the fact someone openly finds you attractive. You've had flings, a boyfriend or two, you've have your own exploration while Nico was going around burning through the female population near you like a wildfire, but.. it wasn't it. You know why. You finally understand your heart. You're finally open about it. And maybe tonight you're ready to forget it for good.

A hand touches your waist and it startles you a little. It's so warm and firm.. you think you've felt this touch before. But that's insanity. You swivel around quickly to yell at however is putting hands on you without permission and come face to face with Nicolò. He's just as surprised as you are if his eyebrows raising to the ceiling are any indication. "What the hell are you doing here!?" comes out of his mouth harshly and you just roll your eyes "Having fun after someone ditched me without giving me an explanation.", you're beyond annoyed and you don't care if you're harsh, he deserves harsh. You watch realisation sink in his features "Holy shit, that was tonight!?" and you can't even fake it. You shake him off, roll your eyes, "Fuck off, Nico. You know damn well that was tonight. I have texted you, called you, did everything and you ignored me. Just leave me alone.". The look of offence on his face almost makes you laugh but you don't stick around, you grab your purse and just walk away from him. He follows you "My phone is at home, it's not working well. Where do you think you're going!? Why the hell are you even here dressed like that?!", it stops you in your tracks. You turn around so fast he nearly slams into you, "Dressed. Like. What. Go on, Nicolò, dressed like what? Tell me what I'm dressed like. I'm curious." he looks apologetic, "No, no. No. That's not what I mean. I mean that you're just.. you're too hot to be walking around like that in this place, the guys will hit on you!" he sounds like a whining child. Looks like he's about to throw a tantrum too. And you laugh in his face. A humourless laugh. A bitter laugh. "Oh? The guys will hit on me? And that's not allowed? I'm not allowed to be found attractive by men now?" "Not by random men like the ones at this club.." "Funny because you had no trouble coming over to me and place your hand on my waist like you know me yet the other men here, none of whom have approached me may I add, are all sleazy and not good enough for me." his eyes darken but you don't stop, "Fuck off, Nico. I don't give a shit what you think at all. Maybe I want to be attractive to other men. Maybe I want them to hit on me. I'm attractive and I'm allowed to flirt with random men, even go home with them, if that's what I please." "You're definitely not." there's anger in his voice, and you get angry back, "Yes. I. Am. You ditched me tonight, you keep ditching me constantly actually, give me a lousy excuse as to why you're ignoring me too. Listen to me: you don't own me, I'm not your dog. Go back to your little friends, Nicolò, and stop bothering me. You've ruined my night enough, just leave me alone." you walk away from him, rush past people to get outside. You're fuming. But so is he.

"What the hell do you mean by that? Why are you talking to me like this?! You've never talked what way before!" you're so angry you want to smack him with your purse, "You have also never ditched me this way before! Remember all those stupid promises of never leaving me behind, Nicolò? Remember those? Guess what you've been doing lately!? Guess??" "I'm not leaving you behind! I'm having fun with friends, am I not allowed that anymore!?" you laugh bitterly again "By all means be my guest, Nico! I barely see you these days, you leave me on read constantly, you don't even answer my calls after matches that I can't attend when I want to talk to you to see how you're doing but by all means act like I'm constantly hogging your time! When was the last time we've spend time together? In person. When was that?" his face drops, he's counting the days.. weeks… a month or more.. you've been growing further and further apart. He can't say anything, just straightens up and masks his shame with indifference. And it pisses you off. He's putting the mask on. Like he does for cameras. Like he does to lie to people. He's never done it with you. It shatters your heart and you can't take it. You promised and he promised and together you promised.. and now he leaves you this way..

You look at him, "Are you not going to say anything? Not even a single word?" you can barely mask the hurt, your accent comes out and gets thicker, when you're upset it always does, you'll never be Italian, you'll never belong.. no matter how hard you try to fit in, you'll never be one of them.. it used to hurt you, but Nico accepted you, made you feel like you fit in. Made you feel like you're part of this place. You used to have a place here. In his life. This used to be home. You're not sure it is anymore. You take a deep breath, try to gather yourself so you get your regular accent back, the one they all know as your best approximation to Italian, but you fail. You sound very much yourself. Like you did as a child. Memories of all the years spend with him, laughing together, teaching each other words, speaking to him in your language flood you, they make your heart ache, the longer you stand there looking at him, silent and stoic, the more it hurts. You nod slowly, "Alright. I get it. It's over. I'm done trying to hold on. I hope you have a good life. Good luck in your future, and thank you for the friendship over the years." you don't pause to look at how he reacts to the others. You just walk away. And he watches you, taking slow steps, then quick steps as you get more and more upset. Watches you disappear and he feels his stomach dropping.

'What are you doing.. no.. what have you done, Nicolò..' he paces outside, curses and kicks at nothing, feels angry, hurt, broken. He just broke your heart. He could see it. Your eyes got cloudy, you couldn't look at him, your voice shook and you sounded so.. you. The accent was back. His favourite sound. He leans against the wall, closes his eyes and let's himself sink into the memories. Flashes of spending years by your side. Always holding your hand, hearing your voice get more and more confident as you spoke his language, your beautiful smile, the delightful sound of your laugh, your comforting embrace, the soothing sound of your voice… all those memories when you thought him words in your native tongue. All the memories of tender touches, being so close to you.. all the times he nearly kissed you. He wanted to so badly over the years. He's been pining for you for so long. Got entangled with so many girls just to feel any different. And he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. He was taken by you the very first time he saw you. He just couldn't help it. You looked so small, so frightened, so shy. He wanted to hold your hand. He still wants to hold your hand. He always does. He wants to hold your hand as he takes his last breath. He needs that. He can't let you go. Because he doesn't know how to be if he doesn't have you around. You're the one constant he's had in his life. You stuck with him. You believed even when others faultered. And he's let you down. He hurt you. He feels like the biggest asshole on the planet. He's allowed the fame and the glory to get to him, he let it happen. He broke the promise he made to you. He has to fix this, he can't lose you this easily. His friends snap him out of his thoughts, but he just tells them he has to leave, shrugs them off and rushes to his car. It can't be too late. He needs to make amends, he needs to ask for forgiveness, he'll do anything to have you back. You can't leave him, how is he supposed to exist if you're not around?

You're not expecting anyone to knock on the door, you don't want anyone around, but you still pull yourself from the couch and head to the door. Your heart is in tatters, you probably are too. You've been sobbing since you left him, cried the whole way home and could barely see while driving, it's a miracle that you're in one piece, you've been rumpled on the couch since you arrived. There's a hope.. a silly little thing, small and weak like a baby bird. It flutters it's wings in your heart. You hope it's him. You miss him already. You don't know what to do without him, he's always been around to hold your hand. You're.. dependent on each other. You've been dependent on him since he held your hand all those years ago. You feel cold thinking he'll never do it again. You shake as you reach for the handle, the door feels so much heavier than it's ever felt when you pull it open. And he doesn't even let you think, he pushes past you into your house and sounds so hurt when he says "How can you say that? How can you say all of that and leave me like that? How can you do this to me? How can you not even give me a chance?", he registers your red nose, tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes, you sniffle meakly and just say softly "What am I supposed to do? Sit around like an idiot waiting until you notice me again one day? I've given you chance after chance, I can't keep getting this hurt.." he's by your side immediately, takes your hand off the handle and pushes the door closed, holds your other hand, "I'm so so sorry. I'm a dick, I know I am, I've been so wrong for what I've done. I shouldn't have pushed you away like this, I'm truly sorry. You mean so much to me, please don't think you don't." "How am I supposed to believe that? We've barely seen each other.. you didn't even remember tonight.. lied about the phone... I just miss you Nico. You were my best friend.. I thought we'd always be the same.. but you've changed.. and.. it's feels like I no longer have a place in your life.." tears gather in his eyes. It's not the first time you've seen him cry but this time it feels different. He's deeply hurt. Because he regrets how he's treated you, sounds clumsy and soft, "No, no. No. Don't say that. No past tense. Don't say it like that. We are. Present. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I've made you feel this way. Don't say you don't have a place in my life anymore… I- you-.. look at me" his eyes are shiny, they're.. for the first time in your whole life, you see it. He's truly looking at you. The way you look at him when he's not looking. He sees you. Like you see him. Like you've seen him for over a decade now. He- "How can you say that you no longer have a place in my life.. when you're all I have a place for? You're everything to me. My support, my company, my best friend, my everything, my.." he gets even closer to you, takes a deep breath, "my love." neither knows who moves first, but it doesn't matter. You're moving together. Clinging to each other. Kissing like it's the first kiss of your lives. You melt in his arms and he holds you tightly, kisses you deeper, moves from desperate to soft and slow. Kisses you until he feels you breathless and then pulls away, rests his forehead on yours, eyes closed, voice so so tender "You're my love. I've been in love with you for years now. I can finally say it, I've hid it for too long. And you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of what I've done. But my feelings are true. I love you"

You look at him. Time stops. You're a child again. He's sitting beside you. His hand holds yours tightly, soothingly, his voice is soft and gentle "Calmati". His smile is radiant and you feel your heart flutter. You feel like this boy you just met is going to be the love of your life, you want him to be. The boy with the kind eyes. You're looking at him now, a grown man who makes mistakes and acts like a child from time to time. His eyes open and meet yours, his smile is unsure. He's insecure. Afraid you'll turn him down. But how could you? He's the boy with the kind eyes. He's the boy that held your hand when you were scared. The boy that helped your pronunciation get better over the years. The boy that got injured fighting for you when someone hurt you deeply. The boy that's made your heart flutter every single day for years now. He's foolish at times, teasing at others, proud and nearly arrogant when his confidence gets too high. He's flawed. But he's human. And he's always been kind. He's yours. "I love you." you can't help the hiccup and the flood of tears that bubble up from you after you say it. Your accent is the thickest it's ever been in years. He smiles so brightly before he nearly crushes you to his chest. Muffled into his shirt your voice, in your language, comes out and declares your love for him again. And a million other things you can't express in Italian right now. But he laughs, happy and giddy, excited and so so in love. "Those have always been my favourite sounds, you know?" he looks down at you, looks so deeply into your eyes, "I love you. I've loved you for years. I'll love you forever. I promise that from the heart.". And the boy with the kind eyes, after all, loves you back.

#@ Italy: please don't come for me if you guys wouldn't say that like that.. i barely speak my language much less others 😭#i'm using portuguese logic for that one sorry in advance #also.. i hope you'll like this dear! i wrote this one for you! i don't know your name or nickname but this one if yours 🥺#hopefully there isn't a ton of spelling errors #i could see the images so clearly that i just had to write it #adventures in a clown's dreams #that's the tag i have on the blog for other stuff i've written..#don't snoop.. there's a bunch of nasty nasty on there 😭#football imagine

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queenoftsage · 28 days ago

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The only interesting thing I have gone through...

in my boring AF job was the phone calls I took yesterday [all in Portuguese. Granted... The lady was pissed AF and with all her entity given right.], and the one I took today in Hmong.

Of course, both times I had to get the translation services team on deck with me to complete the calls.

Those are the only times I am wide awake during my job. lol. When something interesting happens and I don't have to listen to a million iterations of the Spanish language, or one or two randomly lost English speaking customers... Oh sorry we call them 'MeMbErS' ... bitch.. they're customers. STFU.

Also, I haven't taken English calls in a while. I feel I am forgetting the way to answer those. XD

But yeah, those were the only two phone calls in the entire time I've been in this shitty job where I was like. *gasp* OOOOOOOOOOoh listen to this language I don't speak, it's amazing! People talk! in other languages! And I'm here all stupid only speaking Spanish and English. tsk.

#Random #Or Not So Random #Headspace Talk #Thoughts #Languages #Hmong #Portuguese #Two amazing languages... I don't speak. But had a great time listening to and taking calls with interpreter and all.#... Another funny thing... UHC has been so inundated with phone calls this month... obviously.#they really did say we will make offshore agents take all the Spanish calls. I can't stay on those calls with those agents because they -#don't have access to the U.S. accounts that belong to Spanish speakers so I've had to act as interpreter for a few of them. It's...-#annoying... What is up with UHC not hiring Spanish agents? My company's Spanish agents have to act as translators too. Who's going to pay -#us more!? ........ *crickets* ...... yeah I thought so. sheesh. It's also annoying to have to explain to people I don't work for UHC. I -#work for a company that provides service for all the enemies. Aka- Most Insurance companies that specialize in medical. So yeah all the -#assholes in one. *shrugs*#We 'kindly' as the peoples put it provide good services that are useful to people. Right... That's why I've had a ton of them ask why -#their benefits were lowered this year. Sometimes when they people have UHC [which most do... I feel like 'asking them #'YOU CHOSE THIS COMPANY TO BE YOUR PROVIDERS... what did you think was going to happen? Do you not watch the news? I thought most of you-#normies DID. psssh...#anyway... I think I ranted more in the tags than I did in the actual post... lololol... go figure. I had a lot to say today.#I shall disappear for eternity now. *cackles*

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normal-thoughts-official · 1 year ago

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So apparently some Swiss company found out that Brazilian blood has more immunoglobulin (which is used in some medications made by pharma companies) than European blood, and now international pharma companies are lobbying to change Brazilian law to allow them to use our blood as a resource

There is no current evidence that those things are related, but it just so happens that at the same time there is also another law being discussed that would get rid of "bureaucracy" when it comes to ethics analyses of trials on humans. It would also remove the right, which all brazilians currently have, to access to the medication resulting from the trials they participated in

Both sources are in Portuguese because both news have been recently broke by a Brazilian investigative news agency, but if you don't speak it, you can always use automatic translation

I know there's a lot of fucked up shit happening in the world right now, but please pay attention to medical rights in Brasil right now. Especially if you're European, because virtually every company related to this is from your continent and plans to benefit you above all

ETA: using blood as a resource for these medications is not new; however, current law in brasil only allows that use to come from donated blood (because it comes from the plasma and apparently not all of it is used in blood transfusion; I'm not a doctor so I'm not clear on the details but that's the gist of it) and to be processed and used by Hemobrás, the State-owned company that handles this type of medical technology. The new law would allow for private companies to buy our blood from blood banks for their use. It is worth noting that at least one company has already explicitly stated that they won't be making the resulting medication available in the Brazilian market, so, essentially, they will be taking blood Brazilians donated to help other Brazilians and using it to treat immunocompromised Europeans, to the detriment of immunocompromised Brazilians that need the medicine. In the process, they will be making it harder for our State-owned company to use that same blood, forcing us to import from them and therefore making the medication more expensive. They also want to make it possible for Brazilians to sell their own blood - a deeply ethically questionable practice that is discouraged by the WHO and that has led to HIV outbreaks in Brasil in the past

#i hate it here i hate it here i HATE IT HERE im sick of this shit #social justice #geopolitics #latin america #brasil #brazil #social issues #latine shit

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damondays · 2 years ago

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Anyway this is a bit of a shot in the dark, but if anyone is going to Primavera in Porto to see Blur and have room for one more to keep some company pls @ me ✋🤠

I might be seeing them alone and it's the only band I'm really going for (tho could be interested in Bleachers and Halsey? Idk). I'm not going to Porto and probably not the festival alone, but it would be nice to hang with others who are seeing Blur 🙃 like queueing and such

#blur #blur band #I will have people who are keeping track of me so it's not a advertisement for being kidnapped thank you v much #I also don't speak a word of Portuguese but its ok if you're not fluent in English #it's my first festival so I'm lost lmao

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bat-the-misfit · 2 years ago

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idc where you are from and what level you're at if you speak Brazilian Portuguese you're automatically adorable in my view as a native speaker

#this gringo came with his small daughter asking me for directions #i have no idea where they're from but the way he spoke was so cute #if you're insecure your accent is ugly know that FOR ME it's not #learning other languages is very difficult (i know from experience) so people who speak more than one language are really smart!!#if anyone mocks the way you speak know that they probably don't speak a second language so you're smarter than them ;)#judging by their appearance they seemed arab but you never know they might not been raised in that region #also he was kinda handsome BUT no gringos for me sorry 😂 i prefer brazilian dudes one million times ✌ no offense gringues #it's just that i NEED to say when i think a man is handsome otherwise i'll die #i see a handsome man i'm like HANDSOME to the whole world #it was a cute situation lol #his daughter only knew how to say “obrigada” but she was the cutest #i almost forgot i hate children bc of her #learn portuguese come to brazil ✌#“woah Bat you really had to mention this meme didn't you? 😑” COME TO BRAZIL OR BRAZIL WILL COME TO YOU

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magicalmanhattanproject · 1 year ago

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Okay, so with Quackity Studios tweeting about adding new people and the need for tolerance and patience with people who don't speak English, let's just take a second and have a chat about what that's gonna look like.

First: you will hear things or read things on the translator that hurt or offend you.

This is inevitable. Do not immediately post about it. What you need tolerance for is hearing things that hurt or offend you and what you need patience for is figuring out of malicious intent was present or if this is a hill worth dying on right now.

As an example, we're pretty sure at this point that Korean is gonna be the next language added. The second person pronoun in Korean sounds a lot like the n-word in English. The n-word in English, if you're not aware, is like the single most offensive slur we have. It's not something that you want to hear unexpectedly. But also, if we get Koreans, they're gonna be using the word for "you" and English speakers are gonna have to be able to tolerate that.

On the other side of things, Korean has a complex system of honorifics and addressing someone without an honorific would be considered very forward and intimate at least if not very rude. None of the QSMP languages have honorifics though and only French really retains formality* so no one else is going to address them with honorifics unless they specifically explain it to people and walk them through it. That will probably be weird and uncomfortable for them and they're going to have to be able to tolerate that.

*Spanish and Portuguese do technically have formal vs informal but it's disappearing quickly in both of them.

These natural cultural clashes and pain points are going to be harder to overcome since we also know that at least some of these creators won't speak English at all so they can't just switch to English to helpfully explain things to us easily in a way we understand. We're going to have to deal.

So here's the thing: just because there can be cultural miscommunications and mistranslations, that doesn't mean that people can't also be assholes. How do you distinguish between the two?

Step One: Assume good faith. Assume that everyone in a given encounter is trying to communicate respectfully and compassionately and that a failure to do so can be overcome

Step Two: Don't get involved. Especially not in Twitch Chat. Two or more people trying to communicate through a language barrier does not get easier when they're also trying to wrangle hostile viewers.

Step Three: Are you sure you heard what you thought you heard or saw what you thought you saw? Did the translator fuck up? Is it a word that just coincidentally happens to sound like another word? If this is the case, the streamers can ask for clarification or use another tool and get it cleared up. Keep watching and see if they do.

Step Four: If they did say what you thought they said, are the streamers handling it? We had a thing a while back where Bad called some friends, including Bagi and Etoiles, uncultured because they didn't get a reference he was making and Etoiles was like "bro I'm French" and Bad apologized. That should have been the end of it, but I had to see people arguing about it for weeks. The problem was solved in 10 seconds.

Step Five: If the person is doubling down, are you sure this is something you can fix by yelling about it on Twitter or Tumblr? Would it be better to let people who actually know them talk to them behind the scenes? Pierre made a few missteps in the beginning of the server, Quackity said they had a chat, Pierre hasn't misstepped since. It's just easier to sort things out in private, one on one conversation than yelling at someone in public.

In short: it's fine to take note of behavior in case patterns start to emerge in it, but yelling on social media about how so and so is the worst person possible is not constructive.

#sorrelposting #qsmp

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mister-001 · 4 months ago

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POISON

content: Yandere Platonic Batfamily x Neglected Reader

sinopse — you were neglected from a young age, you could no longer take all this neglect and the looks they gave you, as if you were an insect next to them, your option was to run away, and so you did, but on the way, you meet a certain clown, one who charts your path, you might think that's how it ends, but you're very wrong, you can't defy your family, and look who came to haunt you, I mean, look who came to take you home.

Warning: mentions of violence, murder, mentions of torture, violence, mentions of drugs, Reader is a girl, manipulation, violence against minors, torture, Cigarette use, negligence, joker being the joker, Yandere behavior, defined gender, blood.

chapters: 02

A/N: Firstly, you can call me Shin or Lay, feel free, sorry for the defined gender, I feel more comfortable writing for the female gender, but don't worry, I will write for other genders too, I'm just trying to feel comfortable first, I ask you to be patient with me, I can't be very active, I have a life to prioritize, health first, English is not my first language, Portuguese is, I'm using the translator, so if there is an error you already know Who to blame, I'm writing because I like writing, so don't rush me, sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, drink water and take care of yourselves, Take care little lamb...

Enjoy it while you can...

You can't run away forever little bird...

eyes were glued to the tomb in front, the tombstone well cared for and clean, a sigh came out of the little girl's mouth, more tears filled her eyes, even though she had this stoic expression, it didn't stop her from crying, until the stronger ones cry...

A hand was placed on the little girl's shoulder and she looked at the person, the middle aged man looked at her with pity, she had lost her mother so early, poor girl, at such a young age, already lost someone, the man smiled softly and nodded towards the car

The girl always had the curiosity of meeting her father, of course, her mother always said that he was a rich playboy who wouldn't have time for her, but even so, as harsh as those words sounded, the little girl knew that this was a lesson, a fact, and it seems that her mother was right, as always...

Bruce considers himself to be at least a somewhat decent person

I mean, he may not be what people call perfect, but he tries to be decent, behind that expression, there is someone who was much happier before...

Well, when a little girl arrived at Wayne Manor, he tried to do what he could to calm down first, yes, it's not the first time he's had a child, but this time is different, this little girl, is his, she contains the same blood, she is not adopted, she is really his daughter

He tried at first, but then why didn't he try later?

Because he let her slip out of his hands

He should have been there for her

He wanted to have been there for her, but the city needed him

But she also needs it, you know?...

Once again being ignored in this mansion, the dark halls that haunt you, stopping when you saw your older brother, Dick, he looked at you and just walked past you as if you didn't exist, you felt another piece of your heart break, with a sigh you walked again

Once again heading to the dark halls of the mansion

You were playing with dolls in your room, and looked at the door when you heard footsteps, your brother, Jason, walked by irritably, once again, it was always like this

You just went back to playing alone, with yourself and your silence...

It's like they say, silence is a person's best friend...

Footsteps are heard as a little girl walks through the halls once again, heading to the kitchen while looking for Alfred, she clutched the Batman plush and stopped in a room, she was going to knock on the door, but someone had already opened the door.

The little girl looked at her brother, Tim, and tried to speak, but he simply closed the bedroom door, leaving her standing in front of the door while looking at the wooden door in front of her.

With a sigh she turned and went back to looking for Alfred.

The little girl was helping Alfred and lost the Batman plush, while looking, the girl saw two girls talking and laughing, they were her sisters, Barbara and Cassandra, she likes to call them Barb and Cass, but when she went to talk to them girls, they just walked past her, Cass was kind enough to pet her head, but still, they completely ignored her existence

Again...

You were next to Damien as you clung to his jacket in the morning, a boy decided that you were the best option to bully, but Damien didn't like it very much and now the boy was on the floor bleeding, his nose was definitely broken. , he was crying in pain while Damien was looking on with disgust and disdain

You..., well you were scared, you hate seeing people bleeding, it makes you sick, you just wanted your stuffed animal back...

Startled when Damien finally looked at you with that serious expression, you quickly released the sleeve of his jacket and looked into his eyes

_ "you are weak, you will never be a Wayne, that must be why your mother died, because you weren't strong enough to save her, you can't even protect yourself alone, who guarantees that you can protect someone, I'm the most new, and I still know more than you, for once, be useful and grow "

You froze, as if time was standing still, with your eyes wide in surprise, you looked at the ground and nodded slowly as you closed your eyes to keep the tears away, it hurt, it hurt a lot, it hurt more than the scars you have from that day, the day your mother died, the day you were sent to a dark place...

Damien just walked past you and stopped in the hallway, leaving you alone, with just your tears...

You were in your room crying, tears rolled down your cheeks, holding onto the only thing you had, your Batman plush, you wanted Batman to save you just like he saves Ghotam...

You were too distracted to notice that someone entered your room, footsteps came closer to you and you felt arms around you, with a start you looked at the person, only to see Alfred

Without saying anything you allowed yourself to cry more as you clung to him.

Alfred caressed your back gently as he sighed softly, he just wishes someone in this mansion could see how brilliant you are, how amazing you are, if only there was something he could do...

LOOKING at the Tombstone, everything was silent, the silence was deafening

Yes, you ran away, and I'm not saying it in a metaphor, I'm saying you actually ran away from the mansion, well, I wouldn't consider running away, because I'm pretty sure walking out the front door and no one stops you isn't considered running away, but which is a consideration for those who have never had one...

Now here you were, in front of your late mother's tombstone, the only one who taught you and gave you affection when you needed her most, no one can replace your mother, no one at all, you would get blood on your own hands if necessary, for She, you destroy the world...

Walking through the dark streets of Gotham was you, as you held your Batman plush close, you couldn't stop feeling that feeling of someone following you, well you were right but the worst part is being right about wrong feelings...

That's why you looked back, and didn't see anyone, but when you looked ahead, your heart felt like it was going to leave you, trying to calm your breathing you dared to look at his face, the smile that doesn't fool anyone, the clothes, the hair...

You weren't mistaken

You wish you were mistaken

But this was really him...

With an amused smile in front of him was none other than someone with his own macabre thoughts...

_ "Well, well, if we don't have a little clown, alone... I don't need to introduce myself, you must know me, but I have education and I'm going to introduce myself anyway, I'm the... Joker...

Batman will like the little gift, well, if he can have his little friends, I can also have a little clown with me, don't you agree?, of course you agree, come on, little clown, let's introduce you to Gotham City..."

You looked at the man in front of you with fear, your brain was screaming at you to run, but your legs seemed glued to the ground, frozen, paralyzed...

panic settled in your body when you felt arms lifting you, you tried to fight, you tried to make him let go of you, but you shivered when you felt something come into contact with your skin, of course you knew how to put one and one together, you grew with your Mom, so you obviously know that he injected something into you, injected something into your neck...

You felt tired and stopped fighting, your eyelids slowly closed as you tried to keep them open, but it wasn't enough and you fell into a deep sleep, a dreamless sleep...

A broken heart will never be broken again if the pieces are already too small, but who said you can't step on the pieces...

BRUCE felt something was wrong, a bad feeling, he double checked his kids and found every one of them, but the more he looked, the more he felt something was wrong, so he went to look at the cameras in the batcave, wrong move ...

Looking at the cameras, he finally figured out what was wrong, his daughter, his little daughter came out, she ran away, he felt panic rising inside him, and he heard a noise behind him, and when he looked he saw Jason looking at the recording of the video. security camera with a death glare, before Bruce nodded as Jason quickly turned and went to warn the others...

That's why now they were all in the Batcave, looking at the security cameras, Tim blamed himself for not being able to stop this, he made so many plans, because he can't make a plan in case this happened, now she was lost, in the darkness of Gotham City, a dark place...

But they will find you, no matter what it takes

They will burn down Gotham if necessary

It looks like it won't rain water from the sky, but rather blood...

A/N: hello little lamb, I hope you liked it, it wasn't my idea, I was inspired by an account that had this great idea, sorry for any grammar or spelling errors, and sorry again for the defined gender, remember to take care of yourself, little one little lamb, bye bye, take care...

Signed: 𝙇𝙖𝙮...

Autor : @trashpanda0000 @dhanyasri @marsmabe @caged-birdies-blog @vanessa-boo

#yandere platonic #yandere batfam #yandere platonic batfamily x reader #yandere x reader #Platonic Jogar x Child Reader #dc universe #yandere batman #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake #yandere cassandra cain #yandere stephanie brown #yandere dick grayson #yandere damian wayne #platonic relationships #child reader #neglect #Neglected Child Reader #platonic love

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