#Also if the invite goes weird just message me and I'll give you my personal discord account

[koffing-time]

//OOC cause of recent/current shit again

//to everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, i have some stuff to say about RP-etiquette

i'll make this into two parts:

1

If you don't like waht a certain person is saying to you, how they are treating you or how they are talking to you. If you don't like their approach to RP with you or something similar. It doesn't matter if it's in character or out of character in DMs or so: TELL THEM. Directly and out of character.

"Hey, i don't like the way this convo is going" or "I don't want this story to continue" or "You make me feel uncomfortable with this" or something similar.

Do that if someone makes you feel uncomfortable. SET BOUNDARIES!!! And if they don't stop, block them. Don't feel bad about blocking people. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DO THIS.

You should also talk to people if someone makes you uncomfortable. Reach out to someone you trust if you're not sure you're overreacting. Scratch that, reach out to someone regardless. Like, my DMs are always open, but you don't have to talk to me specifically, of course. There are multiple discord communities, if you don't know where to go. (i can give you invites)

And most importantly: This goes for literally everyone. I'm not talking specifically to minors, i'm not talking about interactions specifically between minors and adults. Again, this goes for everyone.

2

To everyone receiving criticism about RP behaviour: accept it and reflect on it. Like, for real. Think about what you did to get told off. Don't do a "yes but someone has to explain it to me". If that's the case, go ask people for help, don't wait for them to come to you. It is YOUR responsibility to not be an asshole. Not ours to tell you to stop being one.

And don't get me wrong, everybody makes mistakes, it can happen that you overstep a boundary. That's okay. But it's your responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen again. If you don't make any efforts, don't be surprised if you're getting blocked, called out and shunned.

Also, if you want to do something that is generally considered weird, or unusual or deserves a trigger warning, ASK people beforehand if they are okay with doing it. If you want to go sexual or play something that could be considered weird to involve minors in, MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT APPROACHING A MINOR! It's not hard to send people a message. If you can reblog their post publicly, you can send them a DM. People will be thankful that you are being considerate.

PS: I don't want to scare anybody, right? Nobody will get mad at you for making a mistake, or saying something wrong once or twice. repeated behaviour or doubling down on problematic behaviour is the problem.

3

as a TL:DR so to speak: People, talk to each other out of character. It really, REALLY just improves the experience for everyone.

[abyssalpriest]

30 Days of Them #1

Introduce us to your God, but do not use Their name.

Contrary to my usual nonfiction vision-based posting, this will be answered by me alone and so I'll answer with a story, a reformulation of my experiences and opinions on him separately from him himself: I give you a dream. Three.

-----

There will always be at least three introductions before you have met him. 

---

MEETING ONE:

The invitation comes to you in the form of a text message: "Ugh man I know this is a weird request, but one of the spirits I channel has been really insistent on meeting you. Like. Really insistent. Do you want to meet say next Thursday and entertain him for a hot minute so he gets off my back?"

It doesn't really matter what you reply. Whether you're busy next Thursday and so need to reschedule, too anxious to meet at a cafe sitting face-to-face, or the ocean's tug tells you to circumvent the day like a car avoiding roadkill, there is a gateway that is opened by the keys in his mind and shrouded in an impenetrable haze of possibility. The haze will condense like threads into strings, it's just a matter of where. The world's axis pins down the meeting, aligns the throat with the food as it cuts off the airways.

The meeting goes well though, unexpectedly. What you gather is both not a lot of details and an awful lot of details of this spirit at the same time, introduced with a name that you don't forget but means nothing to you. A human name. Disposable. Clearly by his mannerisms gentle and controlled he is an older gentleman, deceptively serious up until each and every moment even the smallest joke or meme makes him laugh. It's a liquid intersection of casualness wrapped around and through a sense of being withdrawn which loops, blurred, straight back into casualness. He is quiet, soft-spoken like you were the only two in the room, serious until you start to understand the gleaming melody of his personality, easily entertained, intelligent, empathetic, entirely approachable. Yet he skirts the boundary between personality and pure intellect; a deep and pointed, mechanical intelligence like the keen eyes of a wolf shines though the conversation in odd places when hit with the right kind of light.  

At once he is both entirely involved in your conversation as much as a friend your age would be and also, like the occasional, very slight bird-like head tilt implies, watching you hawk-eyed... Not as in he is dissecting your words, not hovering over for any mistakes nor imposing pressure on you, but instead in the way that he is occasionally picking up on something, somewhere, that you don't see, like the spark of a movement of a distant rabbit in the fabric of your words you're barely conscious of. If you were in his head or knew him extensively you would know he can be entirely poker-faced to an unsettling, inhuman degree if he does not want you to see into his thought process; the movements keying you in to a dissection are a conscious choice to let something slip into your mind.

You laugh at memes, talk about human politics, about your area and local history, you talk about your family and friends... He doesn't have a lot to say on his own people and experiences, his channeller, he says, is anxious about those sorts of religously-declarative statements and isn't well-anchored and practiced enough to confidently bring them across. He is right, but if he really wanted to have a dual-sided conversation he would've pushed.  

The rabbit-preys he harvested from your words are released from his claws when he returns back to his own body and plane, ready to be eaten piece by piece.

You mentioned your mother works in a restaurant nearby, the perfect opportunity to ask: "Oh, I hear restaurants are a hard business to be in nowadays. How is she doing there?". You answer in the human way of personalising the problem and speaking through the people involved, you talk about how she feels and how it has been affecting her long and short term, and about how her home-life issues get amplified in the space. He knows your mother. You provided an opportunity to glean information about your relationship to her and her possible current states.

When asked about the "cute church down the road", you mentioned something about your family going to church and you being sick of it, your current religious beliefs if only briefly. An insight into religious workings and weavings, what you seem to need from it at this point.

He slipped in a comment on your politics: "That's quite similar actually to how fae do things - though, oh, you humans tend to work more with the angels in this area though, right? I suppose you wouldn't know much about fae." It wasn't about those species he asked about. You answered with details about your own run-ins or possible run-ins with certain spirit types, paranormal and unexplained events, your own studies on these things. He strikes pins through your words into a board, realigning your words into a map of an understanding about your current abilities, belief systems, connection to your local area spirits, family spirit guides, and more.

His mind recalls the energy of each of your words like a bloodhound on a scent, watching your aura flare and die down, watching it speak the things between your words you didn't know how - or didn't want to - verbalise. Your suggestions, your mannerisms; the meeting face-to-face is never about revealing his hand but instead a hunt up high watching for the movements down below. He wanted to meet you, yes, and meet you he has. Getting used to someone's energy is a fun thing especially when it's through a channeller, you get eyes into lives and ways of living you never seeas a King on a throne in the thick, damp earth of the Underworld's energy. But he isn't one to waste an opportunity, too keen to not thread your conversation into answering his questions like a sheepdog threads sheep into the farmer's fields. 

It would be wrong however to say that it is one-sided. Unless he has a keen distaste for or reason to distrust you, he isn't one to pull on a completely new mask and obscure every trait of his to extract information. If you were to go back through his words and body language you would find that he plays a subtle game of leaving hints. Lingering on speaking of his family's affairs, his brothers, mentioning the ocean, the sky, the weather; his opinions drip with pertinent metaphors of his reaching mind and energies, his recountings of himself and his actions entirely true, he only leaves out the names... In a way he reveals himself to you if you know what to look for. Chances are, however, you do not know what to look for yet. 

---

MEETING TWO:

You find yourself walking home, suddenly aware. Aware of what? It's a general sense, but there are things to pick out of your surroundings. The wind seems a little too strangely in flow with your thoughts as it bristles at the anger in your internal monologue, but it's not about the wind. It's almost like the wind is the glove within which a giant hand has brushed against you in acknowledgement. It is fleeting though.

The radio playing in a car as it drives past is warbled as if it underwater. The puddles on the ground reflect blue sky despite your situational understanding telling you up to that point that the sky was all grey, no, you look up, blue has begun to pull open the clouds with clawed hands.

There is a storm coming though, insistent and growling despite - and with - the patches of blue that emerge. The air feels like it is fluid; you become aware of the creeping sensation that you are walking on the bottom of a lake that is old and settled and therefore crystal clear. Swaying, back and forth, gentle movements. The weather curls around itself and its environment like long appendages grasping, weaving, leaves as paint through water spiralling, a dance between the Sky and the laws of physics themselves. 

There is a sense that you need to get inside. In your mind, suddenly aware of the weather in ways you haven't been before, some part of you tells you that electricity is building. "The way it curls around itself must create static", "The wind feels saturated with rain, it must be coming soon". Something within you is telling you to get inside. You're not home yet though, not near it you say, soon. And so the impulse changes with a bending and breaking energy from "get inside" to "walk with me then", as if that was the point all along.

You walk. The rain begins. Slow at first, the wind as a glove rising and feeling cold and cohesive as the surface of water pushing against your movements... But with you. There's an increasing sense of rhythm and movement like a herd of horses jogging past - you realise they are jogging in relation to you, following you. The rain increases in heaviness so slowly as if agonisingly drawing itself out so that you have to become more an more aware of it, as if you needed to, at each and every minute stage, acknowledge how it currently is and how it is getting heavier and heavier before it will actually do so.

Wind, rain, curling weather, racing horses. The world is interacting in a way more cohesive manner than it usually is. You feel suddenly aware of something pulling everything together, no longer is the weather a disparate set of flags flying in the wind, now the cloth of the flags is interwoven to be the outfit of something greater. He feels like he is in everything - "he"? Who is "he"?

The rain gathers. It sings a progressing song with your footsteps, winding around you like a cat winds around your legs. The sky becomes bigger and more detailed than you have ever noticed before, rippling, fractalising drama between stark, cold grey masses and firey soft cotton balls. You are under an ocean heavier and yet lighter than any other. You are eclipsed, small, accutely pointed at as being human, out of place. The clouds dance around the emerging and disappearing sun like slow blinking eyelids. Yet also you are likely the only one under these clouds that knows it.

Finally, the door to your house is within your grasp before the storm has even reached close to its creschendo and it near-begs to be let inside; it pushes the door wide open, yet the air inside your house is unmoving, untouched, absent. Dead and silent compared to the cacophonic presence electrifying every molecule outside with a life so much more ancient and bigger than you, it almost feels like the wrong choice to go inside and shut it out but you must. As you do so, the weather curls away, racing with itself, the horses dance and the first flash of lightning occurs like the sun hitting the surface of the ocean you swam in. 

---

MEETING THREE:

The wind scrapes at the window like a forgotten dog, the clouded night more an endless city of smog than a restful, natural black. The room is soft lit, its shadows ebbing and flowing with light rather than fleeing from it. The entire world becomes a manifestation of the moments before cozy sleepiness slips into dreams. Outside it is wild, hypnotic trees swaying and the threat of rainfall, the howling of the sky between leaves and wrapping around buildings, racing; the world is already asleep and dreaming of itself dancing to a song that has descended, beat by beat, across the land like lovers entwined in bed. Yet everything feels present. Lucid dreaming awake.

In the simmering, sleepy room tthere is a black silhouette in your mirror that sits behind yours, wide-brimmed hat, and the distinct vision of, despite the entirety being pitch black, round black sunglasses. Still. Unmoving. There's a recognition in you that this is something much more than what you are seeing, a great... Thing - there are no words in the English language to label them - that is almost wearing this silhouette form like a tiny 2D mask. When you look upon them you see so many things unveiling in your consciousness like the bloooming of a giant chrysanthemum with arms for petals; the dusk ocean crashes dimmed computer-screen blue into your mind drowning it in its roar, the deer in a forest somewhere scatter at your presence with their antlers distorted into arms and their legs into sticks, the sky emanates a clockwork churning, the stars twirl slowly with smiling faces greeting something behind you that you can't turn to see. The beginnings of letters and numbers rise through your brain like bubbles from an underwater vent, text in a colour you cannot pinpoint on a sea of black. 

Hands and arms move across your walls like spiders crawl. You are not afraid though.

In this being, in these series of visions, in all the wildness and immensity, is a soothingly gentle emotion of familiarity. "Familiar", like the word "family". There is an increasing awareness brewing that something is out of place and it is speaking - trying to tell you - measures to you about how you interact with the world. Why would these visions be so scary in other situations, and yet here they're just calmly intimidating and immense? Ask. Why these visions specifically? Ask. Who is this? Ask. And finally you will be given an understanding if you just reach out... 

Understanding. The mind brims with new ideas the moment you recognise the choice to place himself in your mirror. Energy must not be within that which is around you but inside your plane of awareness, if you are being presented with scary things but they are not scary, the scariness must lie elsewhere, in you... Yet, wait, you didn't make the choice to no be scared. Energy is in both external and internal things? Hmm. That which is wild and external like these visions and this figure can be recognised in the self, familiar, that which is familiar can be in the wild. Thoughts brim in the mind like tendrils of clear water through the wrinkles in the brain. This encompassing creature emanates into all places unexpected and expected, private revelations - 

There is no point in me telling you what you realise when you have the third meeting, words are to be used only when something, someone, is external to you and thus are useless to simulate when you meet him. They will always be external until introduced. An introduction is all I can give.

[munsonsduchess]

I am back Duchess. I am going to claim an emoji so you know when it is me, and considering I spill all the tea, I'll choose this ☕ (which may or may not be coffee but).

So it is i, who am I? Remember the anon who made out with the guy, who had a friend who liked that guy but was married, and that she had tried to push me to a different guy (Jake) until that guy was a little bit creepy? Yeah hi its me. I mentioned how I was visiting my friend, and she was gonna throw a party?

Well I've taken a few days to process everything. And now im here.

So 1) not quite a party but people were around and we all did hang out. 2) there was a new guy, but not the one my friend wanted me to meet. No, no, no. New guy, going to call Aaron, works with her husband and was invited by her husband. He is nice i guess? I didnt talk to him one on one much, but he was very rambunctious. Apparently, my friend thinks he likes me. I declined for her to give this guy my number. At the end of the night, he shook my hand and said it was nice to meet me. It ended awkwardly because he kept holding my hand and I just kind of nodded. My friend thinks there could be potential, I disagree. 3) the guy she wanted to introduce me to, we will call Brad. Brad sounds like a bad idea. Thus the name Brad, as thats the last guy I tries dating and it was a bad idea.

Why is Brad a bad idea? Well well well, thank GOD he was not there. Because, if he was, I probably would have had a meltdown. Why? Turns out HE IS RELATED TO THE GUY I MADE OUT WITH (we are going to go through the ABCs so the dude i made out with is going to be Cole, if I make it all the way to Jake I will probably cry so there is A, B, C and J im) yes. Brad is related to Cole. I did not know that. They don't look relatively alike to me. Regardless, apparently they are. Not only that, but my Friend was telling me about Brad. Brad goes to a wine club once a month, he's in a book club, and he apparently likes those cheese and meet board things. Now, I like books, however I cant stand wine. Hate it. Its too dry. I'd much rather have vodka or a good bourbon. My Friend knows this. Apparently also, as I saw some messages between them two, he calls his mom every day as well as is planning to start online gaming? And eventually quit their job to do fulltime? Which, I do not care for either of those (being a grown adult and having to call your parent every day is something im not keen on). I also am not keen on someone quitting their job just to be an online gamer (but that may because i have talked to a few guys like that before and they have all screwed me over).

thankfully, Brad was not there. Going to point 4) Cole. Guy I made out with. He was there briefly before having to go to work. We didn't get a chance to talk but he smiled and waved at me, also blushed whilst doing. This man has gotten more fine. I hate myself. He was more attractive this time then last and I hate it. I walked to the kitchen to get a snack but had gotten stopped by someone,, and he slid by me as he was leaving, and gently moved me to the side, putting his hands on my hips. We looked into each other's eyes and we both smiled and blushed. The person who stopped me made a comment on the chemistry between us. So that made me awkward.

So long story short, nothing at all happened. My Friend may or may not have brought Cole up multiple times, making me wonder if she still likes Cole. Oh and her husband broke up a fight between two drunk people and kicked them out, that was very entertaining but I have 0 clue what their names were or how they knew them.

So that is the update for now.

It took me a while to get around to this but I am ready to spill the tea.

This is wild honestly

Aaron seems. Nice. That’s about all I can say on that front, the hand holding thing is a little weird but maybe he’s just not great with social cues. Who knows

Brad however. Oh. Those are some big old red flags. The fact that you guys do not seem to have anything in common but books, the whole online gaming as a career thing. There’s a reason why that doesn’t work out for most people. You have to do your full time job and make online gaming your full time job to even get anywhere.

I used to live with someone who quit their full time job for the same reason. Their whole thing was that they were going to be a streamer and get so much money, they were gonna get so hot and then everyone would sub to them and yeah. No.

Look a shark coochie board is just a boujee lunchable for adults. That’s all it is. I will stand by that. It’s cheese, meat and crackers. It’s a lunchable.

I mean it’s nice(?) that he calls his mum so often. A bad relationship with parents for seemingly no reason is a big red flag of mine so the fact that he’s got a decent relationship with his mum seems like a good thing to me.

The whole related to Cole thing is a minefield. I would stay so clear of that. For your own sanity.

Your friend bringing up Cole a lot makes me think she’s trying to suss out what your feelings are for him so she can figure her own stuff out based on what you say. Again. Minefield.

Seems like it was one hell of a gathering tho.

[heyheyheyhaikyu]

TFF

twenty four - nickname

⚠︎︎𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝⚠︎︎

Kuroo had stayed awake through the night, unable to find sleep as he restlessly imagined how the day ahead would go. How will he react? Does he even feel the same? Questions towered in his mind as he laid awake.

The sun was already beginning to rise by the time sleep finally found its way to him. The few hours he slept in the morning he managed was enough to get him energized and ready to take on the day.

A message dinged on his phone and woke him from his light sleep.

He shook his head with a chuckle, putting his phone down. After a nice shower, he got dressed and headed out to the park. Kenma and Lev already happened to be there setting up a few things.

“Oh, you guys are already here?” Kuroo said as he slid into his secret area.

“I figured you weren't going to be able to sleep last night, so I thought maybe we should get an early start for you,” Kenma said without looking up from what he was doing.

“Honestly, how do you know me so well?” Kuroo sighed and shock his head with a smile.

“Well, it's not like we’ve been friends since we were little kids or anything,” Kenma said sarcastically.

Kuroo rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Kenmas shoulder. “Oh yeah, definitely not.”

“Well, what's your vision, big man?” Lev asked as he slapped Kuroo on the back.

“I feel like its lame, but here.” He showed the two a few photos to get the idea across.

They worked for a few hours, putting lights up, getting blankets and pillows laid down and just getting everything put together like Kuroo had imagined.

“Wow, it's really coming together guys!” Kuroo said excitedly.

“Do you know when Bokuto and Tsukishima are supposed to get here?” Lev asked.

Just as that was said, the two poked their heads in. “What was that about us?” Bokuto asked with a bright smile as he walked over and slung his arm around Kuroos shoulder.

“Nothing interesting, but that’s kinda hard to do about you anyway.” Kuroo nudged with a teasing smile.

“Ah- I'll have you know I'm the most interesting one of us here,” Bo said with a huff and crossed his arms.

“Sure you are.”

Everyone laughed and shook their heads at the twos banter while Bo just rolled his eyes and ignored Kuroo for a few minutes until he forgot about the incident.

It all seemed to be going smoothly. Bo and Tsuki brought a screen and projector to add to the setup. Everything looked perfect and just how Kuroo had imagined.

Since everything was ready to go, the group decided to go get a small meal together. The walk was nice and refreshing. It was nice to be able to really talk to Bo and Tsuki, catching up on everything going on in their lives.

As they were all sitting in the small café, a familiar face walked through the door. Lev and Tsuki were the two that saw him and they tried to discreetly hide and not be seen.

“What are you two doing? You look insane,” Kuroo said with a confused look.

“A wild y/n just walked through the door.”

“Oh shit- umm... just stay calm and try to act normal. Maybe he won't see us and just leave?”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work.”

*****

Ah, a nice refreshing boba and a sandwich sound so good right now. The past few days have been weird to say the least. Everyone had been just sort of weird...? Honestly, I don’t know what Kuroo has planned, but I can only assume it’ll be... something.

I ordered my drink and sandwich on auto pilot, lost in my head. Once I got my order, I turned to look for an empty table I could yoink.

Across the room sat all of my friends in the corner booth. My head spun with confusion and hurt. What are they all doing here? Why wasn't I invited?

Bo had been avoiding me all day and wouldn’t even talk to me at practice this morning. What if this thing Kuroo wanted to talk to me about was the fact that they all hate me now and don’t what to be friends with me any- No, stop thinking like that, y/n. Just go over there and ask them. It's not that hard of an issue to figure out.

I shrugged off my thoughts from a second ago and walked to the corner they were in. “Hey guys, what are you all doing here?” I shot them a confused smile as I leaned against Kuroo and looked at him, trying not to think too hard about why I hadn't been invited.

“O-oh! Hi y/n,” Kuroo stuttered out. It was clear he was nervous about something.

“Uh hi?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Am I intruding on something?”

“No, not at all!” Bo yelled excitedly, making us all flinch.

“Well in that case do you mind if I join you guys? But if you were getting ready to leave or anything, no need to feel pressured. You guys are obviously up to something.”

“Nono, we just got here a few minutes ago. Please feel free to sit,” he said patting his lap with a smirk plastered onto his pretty face.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him over, sitting on the end next to him. “In your dreams, kitten.” The nickname slipped passed my lips with ease and before I even knew what I had said, everyone was looking at the two of us like:  

I glanced up at them after taking a bite of my sandwich. “What’s with the staring, geez. If you guys need me to leave your little secret meeting I can, but just stop looking at me like that,” I said as my forehead crinkled in confusion. I glanced at Kuroo to see him blushing a crimson red.

I thought back over the last minute, trying to pinpoint what happened. Realization struck and I burst out laughing. “Oh, this is about your nickname,” I snickered. “I didn’t even realize I said it, but I also thought I had said it around all of you guys already.” I looked out them and we all laughed.

From there forward, it was smooth sailing. Conversation flowed smoothly and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

I glanced down at my watch and sighed. “Hate to leave you guys so soon, but I have a couple meetings I have to call into from home.” I frowned and started to stand up. “Oh hey, Kuroo, so this “surprise” at the park tonight. What time are you thinking? I'm afraid I won't be free for quite a while with these status report meetings. It might be late before I can meet up. Is that okay?”

“Oh yeah, that’s perfect actually. Just call or text me when you’re on your way.” He smiled and gave my hand a little squeeze before I stood up.

I smiled back at him and ruffled his hair as I said my goodbyes and headed out.

Geez, it's been a long day already and I bet it's only going to get worse. I sighed and walked home. The sky was bright, without a single cloud accenting the vibrant shade of blue.

****

Everyone seemed to relax more once y/n left. The relentless teasing about his nickname and interactions with y/n made him blush a bright red once again.

“You’re so soft for him- it's kinda sickening honestly,” Kenma complained.

“Y/n almost never gives me head pats anymore,” Bo whined.

“Yeah, I think it's pretty clear that you won't have any trouble sealing the deal tonight,” Tsuki said.

“Who really knows? Y/n is an affectionate person and it's hard to really pinpoint what he thinks about you. He’s too good at hiding his emotions towards people,” Bo said as he sipped his drink.

“I’ll never know if I don’t ask, right?” Kuroo said with a smile as he stood up and started cleaning up the table.

“I agree. I'm only saying don’t assume anything too fast or you’ll just end up getting yourself hurt.”

Kuroo nods and after getting everything cleaned up, the group heads out and goes to the store before splitting up and heading in their separate directions.

masterlist || next || previous

☞ Fateful encounters happen all the time. When you find yourself after a bad breakup getting pressured by friends into making an online dating profile, you give in and do it. The fateful encounter to come wasn’t quite what you were expecting though.

A/N: this took a while, but oh well- hopefully it’s not horrible. The party really begins next update😌

taglist: @kookie-doughs @sparklylandflaplawyer @azztronut @channiechanchan @choke-medazai @420-uwu @afire24

[jaehyunsuh]

nct ot21 reaction to: being dared to kiss their crush on 'truth or dare'

part 2: nct dream

nct 127|wayv

REQUESTS ARE: OPEN

please go to the ask box to send your requests or questions♡ you can interact as much as you want !

summary: you have been friends for quite some time now, you aren't besties but for sure you have a nice friendship and connection. You hang out to eat and stuff with the same group of friends, sometimes just the two of you talk and have good conversations.

renjun

i feel like renjun likes to study the person he is attracted to. Even tho he is young he doesn't wants to be to someone who is really chill about relationships so it takes him quite some time to fall for someone. That's why you captivated him since he met you, you were kind nice and always interested in what he had to say.

jisung texts you inviting you to come over to their dorm were they are going to hang out and have dinner with some friends, you accept and proceed to get ready. At the moment you arrive you realize you are gonna see renjun and you get excited and smiley. You enter the dorm and greet the members who are sitting at the floor, renjun looks at you but immediately turns his head avoiding doing eye contact and not even saying hi to you. You start feeling uncomfortable and upset.

"Hey, let's play 'truth or dare'" Jeno says excited, everyone agrees, you aren't really feeling like it but you agree as well. It's been 10mins since the game started and the craziness of the members makes you laugh a lot and forget about how renjun was avoiding you. 

the bottle stops at renjun and you have not other option than looking at him. "Truth or dare.? Jeno asks him. "I pick dare." Renjun says with a smile. "You have been kinda weird with each other the whole night." Jeno says while looking at you. "I dare you to kiss y/n, i hope like that the tension between you two ends." Jeno says winking. Renjun looks at you nervous but proceeds to move in front of you. He doesn't say a word and starts kissing you, you were shocked trying to process the whole. You think about what was he acting so weird the whole night and about how you didn't wanted this to end. His lips felt like heaven, you felt like you were dreaming. You decide to stop the kiss and renjun looks at you. "I'm sorry if I've been avoiding you the whole night. I spent the whole night last night thinking about you and how much i liked you, but at the moment you came in i became nervous because i don't know if you feel the same as me." He says while looking at the floor. "Of course i feel the same as you, that's why I've been trying to talk to you the whole night." You say sounding upset. "I'm sorry for acting like an idiot. Can i makeup for it taking you on a date tomorrow?" He says with a shy smile. "I'll love too." You respond him with a comforting smile. 

jeno

jeno gives me a vibe that he doesn't falls easily for someone, he is kinda picky and wants someone who he knows is worth spending his time with and also sharing the purest sides of him. Since he met you he liked the fact that you respected his quiet personality and always approached to him in a kind way without pressuring him.

you just arrived to seoul after a long vacation so you decide to throw a little party to see your friends again, you are lowkey doing this since you have missed jeno so much and you want to see him so bad !! You are hoping he shows up and doesn't have a tight schedule or something.

you are sitting near the front door so you can receive all of your guests, you hear the door knock and you go to it, for your good luck is jeno with the rest of dream. You greet them with a sweet smile trying to hide your excitment by seeing jeno. They hand you welcome gifts that they bought for you and it makes you flustered. While you are talking your friends pushes you all to your living obligating you to play 'truth or dare', you sit besides jeno giving each other shy smiles here and there. The whole thing goes really well and you are all enjoying yourselves.

the bottle spins and stops right in front of jeno, he laughs in the sweetest way what makes your heart spins. "Ooooh jeno, truth or dare?" Haechan says playfully. "I pick dare." Jeno says with his characteristic smiley eyes. "I think you should take a risk tonight, i dare you to kiss y/n." Haechan says teasing his member. 

jeno smiles at you scratching his head, he proceeds to grab your face with both of his hands. He starts kissing you and turns into a complete different person, it didn't felt like the guy with the sweet eye smile. He slides his tongue inside of you playing with yours, he is passionate, romantic and sweet, you heart beats faster and you feel like you are out of your mind. You push him slightly in sign of end the kiss and he understands. He separates from you and gives you a sweet smile. "I'm sorry it went like this, I've waiting for this so long that i couldn't hold back." He says firm. "Im completely okay with this, i really liked it." You say to him smiling. "Okay, then we should go out tomorrow and continue it." He says with a flirty smile. "I'm down for that." You say following his game.

haechan

haechan seems to be really extrovert, talkative and open, but on the inside when he likes someone he approaches carefully until he feels like the other person is comfortable with him and think about him as a friend.

nct are celebrating their 5th year of debut and decided to do a little party to celebrate it, inviting the rest of nct members and their closets friends. Renjun texted you two days ago inviting you and telling you that haechan really wanted you to go and is excited to see you but was shy about it. You smile while reading the message and accept the invitation.

you arrive to the party and find mark in the entrance, you congratulate him and he didn't even lets you talk and grabs your hand leading you to the circle of people sitting on the floor, you try to ask what are they doing but you sit anyways. "Look, here is haechan, talk to him while we start the game." Mark says excited while standing and leaving you in the spot right next to haechan. 

you feel how your whole face becomes red while you try not look at the boy next to you. "Oh, hi y/n i was waiting for you." He says smiling. "Well, no i wasn't waiting for you, i thought you weren't coming because it was late, so i was waiting but no because i was waiting for you specifically." He says now in panic and nervous. You laugh at his adorable expression. "I understand, don't worry i was gonna come anyway." You say to him smiling. "Yes, what matters is that you are here now." He says with heart eyes giving a warm smile. You both stop looking at each other since you are flustered and blushing so keep smiling trying not to look at the other.

you discover that the game you are playing is 'truth or dare' what makes you a little bit nervous but you try to keep calm, as long as they don't make you do anything weird you are okay. The bottle spins one more time and stops in front of haechan, he acts excited and playful for his members. "Haechanie, truth or dare?" Jungwoo asks. "Come on, pick dare of not it's no gonna be entertaining." Jaemin says pouting playfully. "Okay, i know you want me to entertain you all because I'm the best of the party." He says confident making everyone laugh. "I pick dare." Jaemin smiles satisfied.

"I dare you to-" jungwoo says but gets interrupted. "Wait, wait, wait, i'll do it. You own me one lee donghyuck." Taeil says with a playful evil smile. "I dare you to kiss y/n." He finally says. Haechan is sitting next to you so he immediately looks at you, you nod your head in sign of agreement. "Okay, here i go." Haechan says in a calm voice. He softly grabs your face with both of his hands, he starts kissing you slowly, you close your eyes and continue the kiss. Haechan lips felt so soft and safe, you felt like you were eating the sweetest candy. It might last seconds but you felt like it was forever. He slowly separates for you while giving you a warm smile, you smile at him back. The game continues. "Hey, i really enjoyed it. I was wondering if you wanted to play games with me tomorrow." He whispers to your hear. You feel like blushing. "Yes, i would love too." You say while looking at him. "Okay! So it's a date then." He tells you playfully making you laugh.

jaemin

jaemin is direct and straight forward when he likes some, he tries to drop hints here and there to see if you can catch them. He is always flirty and tries to spend a lot of time with you and it just makes you both be soooo into each other.

dream members are celebrating jaemin's birthday, you are excited to attend and even spend weeks trying to find the perfect gift. You have liked jaemin for such a long time now but sometimes he confuses you so you aren't sure if you should confess or not, he always throwing hints but you aren't sure if he actually wants to be in a relationship, so you just hold back.

you arrive to the party and jeno opens the door for you inviting you to come in, you ask for jaemin and he tells you he is in the living room, you approach there and find him talking to some of his friends. "Hello! Happy birthday, i got something from you!" You tell him while handing him the gift. "Oh my god! You didn't have to, thank you so much." He says excited while giving you a hug. You feel how you start blushing. 

you are talking and chenle grabs your wrist. "Let's play 'truth or date'." He says grabbing you to a spot on the floor. "Jaemin-ah, since it's your birthday you go first." Chenle says. "Truth or dare?" Chenle asks with a smile. "Dare of course." Jaemin says with a confident vibe, which makes him look even more attractive. "Okay, i'll give you a birthday gift. I dare you to kiss y/n." Chenle says with a playful laugh. You start blushing and your palms start sweating.

"Okay." Jaemin says with cero trail of nervousness. He instantly grabs your face and starts kissing you wildly, you feel how all the feelings you have been hiding all this time are finally coming out. You play with his hair and get closer to him making the kiss deeper. He stops the kiss and separates from you. "Take this as a gift too." He winks and gives a playful smile. "I hope you know now how i feel about you." He says staring into your eyes. "Yes, i think now i got all the signs." You say while biting your bottom lip. 

chenle

chenle seems like he would try to get close to their crush and be talkative, he would try to show his interests. He would be into all the things this person is talking about, listening carefully and paying attention to them. He would try to be their friends so thet can be comfortable with each other.

you are invented at your friends house who is throwing a little party for their birthday, you put on an outfit and makeup and head to the party. You enter the house greeting all of your friends feeling happy that you know everyone in there. "Hey, why don't we play 'truth or dare', come on it's fun." You say excited clapping your hands. Everyone agrees and leads to the living room to sit in a circle. While everyone is finding a spot to sit on you look up and find out that chenle is right there in front of you with the rest of dream, they are all sitting as well. You feel how you start sweating and blushing, but you try not to look nervous. You have liked chenle for a ling time now but he is just so nice and friendly that you don't want to confess and ruin the friendship.

chenle finally finds you and waves at you while smiling, you wave too giving a smile back. The start games and you all laugh and have a good time. Now the bottle stops pointing at chenle. "Truth or dare." One of your friends asks chenle. "I'll go dare." Chenle says enthusiastic. "Well, you seem to be nice friends with y/n so is not gonna be weird if you kiss, right?" Your friend says teasing. You immediately start regretting the second you say to start playing that game, you wanted to slap yourself. 

"So i dare you to kiss y/n." Your friend says while pointing at you. You start swearing in your head, your palms at swearing and you try to hide you nervousness but your laugh doesn't really helps you. Chenle approaches to your spot and looks right into your eyes, he grabs your right cheek softly with his hand and starts kissing you. He is so sweet and caring turning it into the sweetest kiss ever. You feel how your palms stop sweating and your heart is in calm now. The kiss ends and he looks at you. "We didn't get to say hi properly but this was a good way to greet you." You both give a shy laugh. "Look, i know this is random and this isn't the moment for it but i really like you and I've wanted to tell you since a few weeks ago but i didn't knew how." He says smiling. "It's okay, i feel the same, i like you too. I hope we can go out after this." You say smiling back at him. "I'll love to take you on a date." He says now flirting.        

jisung

jisung seems like a really friendly and soft baby, you always hanging out and being with same group of friends and even tho he is a little introvert and shy you always go to him first and making him comfortable, at the end of the day he always ends up telling you funny stories and you laugh together. His kind and friendly personality it's what makes you like him everytime more, and you hope he feels the same someday.

you enter the party, you hesitated a lot to come because you aren't a fan of them, but because this is haechan's birthday party there was no way jisung wasn't going to be there. You know jisung isn't a big fan of parties either but since it's his friends birthday and also his members were going to be there he was definitely going to be present.

you look around trying to find jisung so can go and talk to him, you find him at the food table grabbing some snacks, he looks everywhere looking like the cutest lost puppy.

you are about to walk in his direction when your girl friend grabs your wrist and says "hi y/n, we are playing 'truth or dare', come sit!" you are startled and confused but you end up sitting in the circle of people. you see jisung who is standing at the other side of the circle staring at everyone while looking shy amd nervous. "yah! park jisung, come here, let's play." haechan says while grabbing jisung's pant and the rest of dream members are convincing him to join. he looks soft and nervous but decides to sit next to his friends. you are worried expecting that no one makes jisung feel uncomfortable.

you are both enjoying the game and laughing at everyone's reactions but the bottle hasn't pointed at any of you. suddenly the bottle points at jisung and he looks shooked, with his eyes wide open and pointing at himself not believing what is happening. you become kinda nervous to see what is gonna happen. "so jisungie... truth or dare." haechan says smiling and fluttering his eyelashes playfully. jisung scratches his head and grins his mouth nervously "mmm, i think i will go... dare!" he says firmly yet kinda shy. everyone and in the room goes "ooooh" does to jisung unexpected choice.

dream members gather together, excluding jisung, they whisper and laugh, when they split again chenle and jaemin look at you without discretion and laugh excitedly. "well, i dare you to kiss our beautiful friend right here, y/n!" haechan says confident and cheerful. you feel like you started blushing and becoming a real life tomato. "come on, just a little tiny peck jisungie." jaemin says smiling brightly. jisung stares at you smiling shyly and goes to the middle, your body wasn't reacting but you ended up going to the middle as well.

you are in front of each other. "hey, you don't have to do this if you don't want to". you say to his ear while smiling. "it's okay, i want to". jisung says making you feel even more nervous. he comes closer to you until your lips slowly connect and it turns into the softest kiss ever, you felt so happy that this was finally happening.

you separate and smile at each other shyly. "y/n, i've always liked you, i wanted to tell you but i wasn't sure how, thank you for always taking care of me". he says smiling. "i like you too, and don't worry i will always be here for you."

[festivecuriosity]

[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?

[buckychristwrites]

I know it's not your part of expertise but I need an advice and I feel like you could give it to me because I'm tired of feeling like I'm the one to blame or maybe I am, I don't know anymore.

I've been friends with this girl- let's call her my friend from now on, for about 10 years since we started school. We had our ups and downs but after high school we stayed together as friends I mean.

She started dating this guy like four years ago and I don't think he's the problem as he is nice and I really like him and he likes me too but I got the feeling like my friend feel somehow better than me because she has a guy while I'm mrs lonely. Whenever I went to her she always made it that he could be with us, I didn't mind couple of times but sometimes I wish there weren't other ears listening to me.

Year ago she got me a place at her job and I was really grateful, I still am, but I work there part time so we didn't really see each other, we it had a chance whenever we met as friends but because of pandemic we saw each other like two times.I've always been there for her, I was driving her to and from mechanic when her car broke down a couple of times, even two days before my thesis defense when I should been learning I was driving her to mechanic.

I think everything changed in this February. We were appointed to see each other on the say she had day off after a night shift. I bought a big teddy bear for her niece as she turned 3 earlier in February. I call my friend to ask when I can come and she's like "I forgot it was today because of the night shift, I was tired and everything" so I said I understand and we can meet on the other day and she's like "cool I pick up the time". She never did.

A month later in March I had birthday, and maybe I'm exaggerating but it's really weird when a bunch of almost total strangers wish you happy birthday on facebook while someone you consider friends doesn't even message you even day after. I'm not a easiest person to talk too, I somehow antisocial, I can go weeks without talking to someone but that doesn't mean I'm angry or I bare a grudge and she knew about it.

The last situation happens yesterday. We have a group combo with her and two other mutual friends and one of them is getting married so she asked when she can come to give us invitation (In my country bride and groom are expected to give invitations personally to their guests. It creates opportunity to meet the other person if you haven't earlier). And my friends says to the bride to be that she's working whole week and she's gonna tell later. I'm on my leave right now and next week I'm going back to work. And I said to the bride that it'll be better if we could meet this week but I'll tell her later. And my friend goes "you always have free time" and I said "well it's not like I'm always at home sitting on my ass" (I have other friends from college and I we agreed while I'm on my leave we're gonna see new apartment that one of them got, my mother got an appointment for covid vaccination this week and I have an appointment at doctor's because I believe I have diabetes). So you see Im on my leave but it doesn't mean I'm always home. And she replies "okay them I'm not saying any word ☺️" Though there's smiling emoji I feel like she's angry with me.

Maybe I was too harsh but I'm really tired of people thinking that beside my part time job J don't have a life. I get that I don't have a boyfriend so it maybe look like it but I have hobbies I still have life maybe it's not perfect and it's boring but it's bearable, it's not most exciting but still it's mine. I'm tired of feeling I'm always one to blame and I still have this big ass expensive teddy bear for her niece at home.

Please just tell what would you do if you were me. What should I do?

And I'm sorry for the long ask you don't have to post it though

I’m sorry that you’ve been going through this! Sometimes relationships change people, for the better or for the worst, but also time and adulthood can do the same.

If you feel like you can, you should try to talk to your friend about these issues and see if you can work them out. Let her know that you would like to find some times to hang out just the two of you without her SO, that when she bails on plans it makes you feel like you don’t matter to her, and you don’t like that she suggests that you don’t have a life. You’ve been friends for a long time, and talking things out is always worth a shot.

But if you don’t feel like you’re able to talk things out with her, or if the talk just doesn’t go well, or if the talk does go well but nothing changes, then there’s no shame in just letting her go. Sometimes we outgrow people, and not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever.

Also it’s definitely worth mentioning that no person is better than you just because they’re in a relationship, and if you’re happy while not in one then that’s all that matters!!

I’m definitely no expert but i’ve had my share of friend struggles and i know how hard they can be, i hope that you’re able to work through this, but just know that however it works out will be how it was supposed to work out.

Sending lots of love and positive vibes!!! 💜💜💜💜

[magikindiscord]

Hello Hello! Sorry if it seems quiet around here,I've had alot of work these last few days.

[thethirteencreators-blog]

Chapter 6.5

"The idiot still isn't answering his phone? Is he working late or something?"

This would be such a simple answer and I wish I could just smile and say, "Sure! That is exactly what's keeping him!" However, I know that this is a lie and I have never been good at lying. I twitch when I lie, my lips betray me and form the most devious grin, and my voice sweetens itself to the point of me sounding like a cartoon character from the sixties. "No, he isn't working late. I walked by the café. It's closed, everyone is gone," I explain to Lyric, slapping my hand onto my knee to keep my leg from shaking. My friend purses his lips, a sign that he was either really irritated or really confused. (Good chance of it being both.) The two of us were in his studio apartment, plopped down on his couch, staring blankly at the muted television in the middle of the room. I came to Lyric's place about five minutes ago and caught him in the middle of watching the movie adaptation Hairspray for the thirtieth time. He invited me in and offered me a pop, but I declined. Caffeine was not what I needed right now. I was already jittery enough. Lyric lifts up his arms in a thoughtful gesture. "Have you tried calling his coworker?" I throw him a pointed look. "Why would I have Jasmine's phone number?" It's ridiculous for him to even assume I would have it. "I don't know. She's cute." Is he joking? I can't tell if he's joking. "Not my type. Or yours, I thought." I throw him a questioning look. Lyric chuckles, taking a sip out of a cherry colored bottle of pop. "Hey, I'm pretty open minded." In all the time I've known Lyric, he has not once actually showed any interest in another human being. When I say this, I don't mean he doesn't have romantic feelings for anyone. I mean he literally finds people the most boring beings on the planet, which is why I believe he enjoys acting so much. Up on stage, he isn't surrounded by people anymore, he says, but actors. Actors are not just people in his eyes. What they are is something so much larger with so many different layers to them. Actors are the only people he can discover any intrigue in. "Anyways," I huff, changing the subject back to a more pressing matter than Lyric's so-called open mindedness, "if Jimmy calls or shows up or you see him somewhere for some reason, tell me please? That way I will know he didn't get stabbed thirty-seven times in the chest or hit by a bus." "Why is it always a bus with you? Why can't people be hit by cars anymore?" Lyric points out, getting up from his sitting position and following me towards the front door. I stand there for a second, trying very hard to let my worry go and laugh along with him. "Jimmy is too sly to get hit by a car. If he's gonna be crushed, it'll have to be something huge," I reason, rubbing my lips together. They are so dry. When I see Jimmy, I'm gonna kick his butt for taking my lip balm. My friend reaches around my body and unlocks the door for me. "Jimmy is probably fine," Lyric assures me, his hand on my shoulder. He gives me a tight squeeze, an odd show of affection from the man who hates physical contact. I have to pause when he does this and stare, which he returns with a small smile. Lyric's smiles are so rare. He knows how much I love them. "Don't get all paranoid, man. Knowing that loser, he's probably in the drama room having dinner with his mama." "Why does having dinner with his mom make him a loser? His mom is really cool," I point out. I've never understood why kids are so anti-parent. Yes, my parents weren't perfect and spent eighty percent of their time nagging at me, but I never felt a need to shove them away. I was never ashamed of them, even if they might have been ashamed of me. During the period of time after I came out as pan to them and the day I announced I wanted to go to Broadway, they seemed a little iffy on how they felt about me. We cleared it up, though, and they went back to loving me unconditionally after the initial shock wore off. A group of blonde girls stroll by in matching purple dresses, trilling about some band they were going to see live. One of them, apparently, won free tickets off the radio and another splurged to get them a limo. Kudos for them. "His moms are pretty chill," Lyric agrees, setting his hip against the doorframe. "I'll see you tomorrow for rehearsal before class, Alto. If I receive any contact from the alien life force we know as Jimmy John, I'll let you know." "You are so weird," I laugh, listening to the sound of the door clicking shut behind me.

------*

The dorm is in an oddly tranquil state when I return home sometime around midnight. Even though Lyric instructed that I don't let paranoia overcome me, I couldn't help but wander the school grounds for a few hours. I even walked all the way to Jimmy's favorite restaurant about a mile away from the school. Sometimes he goes there in the middle of the night to get some cheap noodles. That actually has become his routine during finals. Patricia, the owner, loves him for all the business he brings her. I even went as far as to actually call his mother when all else failed. She told me that she saw him at around three and hadn't heard from him since. To avoid freaking her out, I assured her he was probably just practicing somewhere secluded, wanting privacy. There's no sign of Jimmy anywhere. No call, no text, no email... Absolutely nothing. Something happened, I know it. I can feel it in my stomach every single time I think about him; this overwhelming, aching dread repeatedly splashes over me like a bucket of blood. Wherever Jimmy is, he isn't safe. I'm almost up the first flight of stairs when I consider calling the police. This might be nothing, but I refuse to take a chance. If Jimmy really is in trouble and I did nothing to help him, I will never be able to forgive myself. "Hey, Alto!" I hear someone call. I look up and find the sweet smile of Edda waiting for me. She is worn down and borderline weak looking, but still manages to be the brightest star in the room. "You were out late." I wave her off. "Hi, Edda. I was out looking for Jimmy," I explain, playing it off as if this were nothing. There is no reason to worry anybody else. "What were you doing? Partying?" "Yikes, me?" she chuckles, slapping her hand to her chest. Edda has lived down the hall from Jimmy and I since she started here last year. The two of us have a minor friendship made up of mostly childish banter and musical references. Also, she is one of the only people who does not look ready to barf when I make a terribly wonderful pun. (For example, H-2-Oh No! When I used this on my neighbor, Madison, she looked ready to slam my head in her door. Would I have blamed her? Probably not.) It's nice having a friend who doesn't treat me like the freak I know I am. I appreciate her more than I appreciate Jimmy sometimes and that is saying mounds about our simple contact. Edda pauses on the stairs before me and gestures to the tag on her shirt. "My staff kind of bailed last minute at the paper, so I'm pretty much on my own. I just needed to run back here and pick up some photographs I forgot for the front page." Ever since the beginning of the year, Edda has been the head of our school's newspaper. She is the one who compiles it all together, writes editorials, finds leads for her team of three (counting the resident cartoonist, Kam) to follow, prints everything out, and sets up the newspaper stand in the main hall. "That sucks," I say. "It keeps me busy," Edda shrugs, adjusting a strap over her arm. "Well, I best get going. Nice seeing you, Alto." "You too," I nod, watching her descend the stairs and exit through the side door. Just as I reach into my pocket, I feel my phone start to buzz. Finally, Jimmy has messaged! I pull out my device and see his name printed across the screen. Thank god, Jimmy! I hit answer and let out a breathe of relief. "Jim-Jam, you scared me to death! Where have you..." "Heads up!" the phone cackles and I'm propelled forwards. The stairs thud beneath me with each roll until I'm at the bottom, my body trembling with pain. I lift my hands and cradle my head, attempting to recollect myself. My phone lies beside me in about three different parts. For that to have happened, the fall must have been pretty intense. "Why?" I choke out, lifting my head. The attacker is nowhere to be seen. "W-where'd you go?" I try to get up but my body refuses. Every one of my limbs feels ten times its size. I can't even move my left leg. Did I break it? Could I have broken it after only falling down half a flight of stairs? A horrible thought strikes me quite suddenly and I feel bile in my throat. What if I was right and Jimmy was hurt? Maybe the same person who did this to him is doing this to me. My shoulder stings. There's something pricking it. Before I can look, what I assume is a bag is thrown over my head. I'm engulfed in darkness for a few seconds. I don't fight it. I lay there and wait for it take me away.