#Alpha!Howard does it deliberately/consciously and Prime!Howard *doesn't* | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

malusrecord · 9 months ago

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((I'm editing icons for Prime!Howard rq and listen---))

((Sir first of all how dare you, secondly the second Emily says 'you really are the only one I have left' the fuckin visible shock on his face and that fact that he processes it incredibly slowly, just..ugh my heart. Prime!Howard hasn't heard words like that---gentle, accepting, open words, words that he doesn't know what to do with, doesn't know how to include himself in them---in years (largely in part due to his own defensive mechanisms, choices, and etc but not entirely) and it shows.))

#;;ooc: mun muttering #he doesn't fuckin say a word and he doesn't need to #like if Emily had actually looked at him while saying it???? holy fuck #she would've not only immediately known that he isn't her Howard she'd absolutely be concerned bc he looks fuckin wounded for a few seconds #also prettyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!! raahhh #one of the shared points I love between both Howards is that ultimately they let down their walls silently;#usually when the other person isn't paying attention #Alpha!Howard does it deliberately/consciously and Prime!Howard *doesn't*#he never voluntarily drops his walls---like here; he's visibly startled by what she said and it shocked him #and he generally internally scrambles to get the back up unless he's fuckin posturing or some shit #because having his walls down and letting people in is what hurt him in the first place #and the fact that he becomes slower to rebuild the wall every time its breached being a thing that you can actually SEE? fucking amazing #I could go on in heinous detail about all this but I'll try to save it for a hc/analysis post or something

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