#All i everwanted. Was to see you smiling

[silver-la-pixels]

(That one catfish meme) what a week....pass the nightcore!!

[riverdalepoet]

ALL I EVER WANTED (part 1)

A/N: I know I primarily post poetry, so this is my first fic to post on this page. I have such a soft spot for Sweet Pea and know that any wife he may have has to have a little spunk- cue Emma. Hope you Enjoy!! (I posted this originally on my Tumblr, Riverdale Poetry, and am posting it here now)

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All my life, I had dreamt of this moment. Some would say it was a silly dream, but all I ever wanted was to be somebody’s mother.

I imagined this time as miraculous and beautiful, but in reality, gritting my teeth and sweating through another contraction was really getting old. Thirty-two hours of slow and painful labor had proven that my son would be just as stubborn and mule-headed as Sweet Pea.

My patience was wearing thin, my mother was dancing on my last nerve, and my husband was, unfortunately, receiving the product of my discomfort.

“I swear to God if you don’t make her leave, I’m divorcing you,” I muttered, reaching for my ice chips.

“Hey,” he responded defensively with his hands in the air. “I’m not the one who asked her to be here.”

“Well, you should’ve stopped me.” I pouted. He chuckled but gave in to my wishes. “I’ll talk to your dad and get him to distract her, okay.” I nodded eagerly as he walked out the door.

When he came back in, I was sitting up, arms crossed indignantly, and crying. I was weak, I was hurting, and I was just plain frustrated.

He came quickly to sit at my side. “Sweet Pea, this fucking hurts. I’m so tired.”

“I know. You’re doing so good. We’re getting so close to meeting him.”

“Pea,”

“What, baby?”

“We are never having sex again.”

He cocked his eyebrow and laughed, bringing his hand to cup my cheek. Pulling me close to him, he nibbled briefly at my ear and whispered, “I’m sure I can change your mind.”

I shove him away and throw my pillow towards his head, laughing as he jumped off the bed, ducking in surprise. “I’m in labor, you weirdo.”

“You are having my baby. You have never been sexier than you are right now.”

Sighing and shaking my head, I answered my goofy husband. “That’s sweet and all, but I really just want to hit you. That’s all I can think about. You did this to me.”

His lips twitched into my favorite mischevious half-smile, and he retook his place right next to me. He took my hand and kissed me on the forehead, paying no mind to the sweat that was trickling from my scalp. “I love you too, beautiful, so fucking much.”

I smile at him weakly and lift his hand to my face. “If you keep mom from coming back in here for good, I’d love you a whole lot more.”

“And just how am I supposed to do that? You want me to call the National Guard, and get them to block the entrance of the room,” he teased.

“No, smartypants, but you could call the Serpents. Duh.”

He stared at you, pursed his lips, and scoffed. ”Babe…”

“Yes, precious,” I giggled.

“Your mother scares them. They aren’t going to get in her way, and I can promise you that.”

“Fine,” I huffed reaching for my phone and typing in Jughead’s number as fast as I could. Sweet Pea just watched in amusement. “I’ll give them something to be scared of.”

“Jones…No, I haven’t had the baby. Look, I need a favor. I need you to get a few Serpents to distract and prevent my mom from coming into this room…What the hell do you mean, no?… Listen here, pal, if you or Pea or anyone let her or anyone else in here, I’m going to hand all of your asses to you, pregnant or not…When you have an 8-pound human trying to exit your body, and taking his sweet time doing it, you can call the shots. Until then, guard my fucking door, or I’ll shove that precious beanie of yours down your throat. I mean it, Forsythe…Room 402, thank you.”

I smiled triumphantly, slapping my phone into Sweet Pea’s open hand. “I was wrong about you, Em. Motherhood won’t soften you.”

“Damn straight. I’m still a Serpent through and through. If I could only scare our son out of me.” Sweet Pea plopped on the bed and slung his arm over my shoulder. He reached for the tv remote and turned on Law and Order. I rubbed my belly and thought back on all the decisions I made that got me here.

Moving to Riverdale and starting Southside High introduced me to the Serpents. Joining the Serpents is how I met Sweet Pea. Befriending him is why we started hooking up, and hooking up is how we fell in love. We were two lonely teenagers, jaded by our circumstances and blinded by sheer lust. The warm hands he used to make me dizzy became the same hands that put me back together when my brother was killed. Since then, I’ve spent the better part of the past five years happily arguing with the love of my life, and soon to be the father of my baby.

I thought I lost him once. A job that Jughead and FP sent him on went south, and he was beaten and left unconscious. I got the call in the dead of night and slapped Jug for letting Pea go alone as soon as I got to the hospital. Walking from the door of his hospital room to his bedside was the hardest ten steps I’ve ever taken. I collapsed at the side of his bed, burying my head in the sheets and sobbing. When he finally woke up, he pulled me up to lay next to him. His strong arms held me close, and his baritone voice promised me he wasn’t going anywhere.

After he was released from the hospital, we decided to move in together. By my next birthday, we were engaged. Fangs officiated our wedding, and just like that, Emma Carter became Emma Wilson. Before I knew it, I was throwing up every morning, afternoon, and night. When I told him I was pregnant, I was terrified. We had only been married for a few months and hadn’t planned on having kids for a while. The smile that broke on Sweet Pea’s face, however, melted away any worry I had.

While I was pregnant, Sweet Pea made sure I wanted for nothing. Every odd request and three a.m. craving was granted without complaint. He rubbed my back and told me every day how beautiful I was. He showed off every sonogram picture to our friends; and when we found out we were having a boy, he had a special Serpent onesie made. I couldn’t imagine anyone else to be doing this with than my protective, sweet, excited, funny, loving Sweet Pea.

My doctor bustled in, interrupting my flashbacks, and drawing me back to this moment. “Alrighty Emma, let’s see how we’re doing.”

Sweet Pea took my hand as the doctor examined me. After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor stood up and pressed the call button on my remote.

“Nurse, yes, let’s get Mrs. Wilson moved to a delivery room, please. It’s time to meet this baby.” She smiled and patted my leg. “You ready to roll?”

“Dr. Shows, I was ready two months ago, let’s go!” She smiled at us and left to scrub in, leaving me and Sweet Pea alone again. It took all of two seconds for him to jump off the bed and dance around the room. “It’s time. It’s time!”

“Alright, alright.” He walked towards me once he had gotten it out of his system, “Let’s go meet our boy!” I said, pulling him down by his dog tags for a kiss.

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Forty minutes, too many pushes, and seven curses thrown at Sweet Pea later, and I finally fell back against the bed, defeated. My chest was heaving, my head was spinning, and I was trying my best to keep my eyes open and trained on Pea’s face.

He was smiling tenderly, with big tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked back at me and said, “Em, we did it! He’s here.”

“I did it, thank you,” I replied weakly, still not noticing the “he” he was referring to.

Suddenly, I felt a warmth on my chest and moved my glance to see the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. He was here. Our son was here. One look and I was back- entirely focused, and immediately forgetting every pain of the past forty hours. I had been broken and reborn in this room, and I knew with one hundred percent certainty that I was meant to be his mother.

Sweet Pea seemed to be in the same trance I was, completely hypnotized by our beautiful baby. When the nurse took him to clean him up, we clung to each other, passing sloppy kisses and breathy, “I love you’s” back and forth.

We spent the next few days memorizing every detail of our son and introducing Carter James Wilson to our friends and family. As Sweet Pea passed the baby to Betty’s excited arms, he asked Jughead how it felt to be on the receiving end of my wrath.

Jug just shook his head in response, and I rolled my eyes. “You listen here, Curtis Eugene Wilson, if I wasn’t high on Percocet, and blissfully obsessed with our child right now, I’d make you scared of me, too.”

“I love you too, beautiful,” he winked and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

I smiled sweetly and reached for Carter. This moment- my son in my arms, my husband by my side, and the ones we love here with us- this is what I dreamt of. This moment is all I everwanted.

[banyak100418]

i love you 100.

aka why i love you. aka word vomit of the things about you and us that make my life worth living. (warning: nsfw sprinkled throughout.)

 1. “love” itself sounds like an easy word to say. it gets thrown around a lot. but when i say that i love you, i mean that i love you. i’m in love with you. i mean it with every single fiber that makes up who i am. i mean that i care about your happiness even more than my own, because you, to me, are the sun.

 2. i like thinking about the first time we ever interacted. it’s been almost two years. july first. who would have known that everwing game invites will bring me to my home. they say it’s a small world but for me, it’s a vast universe, and it overwhelms me to think that among the billions of galaxies, people and creatures, you and i happened to be the people that we are, and we have found our way to one another. everything that happened had transpired in the right time and for all the right reasons, because this path brought me to miss right (a.k.a you).

 3. when we started doing our 11:11’s, i thought i was only wishing for your comfort and happiness, but in time i found myself wishing to have you, too. i always find it so endearing, how we basically started with this, how we gradually learned each other’s feelings by wishing each other happiness every night. and to this day, we still do it when we can, and it make my heart do a double flip.

 4. at some point there, you sent me something, telling me not to worry, because you’ll hold my hand the whole way through – and you have, you always did. you never broke your promise.

 5. cliché as fuck, but you are beautiful. inside and out. you are a beautiful soul. even if you think otherwise, i still think you’re the most beautiful, flaws and all. i’m proud to say that i have the most beautiful girlfriend in the entire world, and her majestic existence alone is enough to convince me to keep on going.

 6. your rosy, chubby cheeks that i love kissing so much.

 7. it’s your lips. so fucking irresistible. plump and sweet. 10/10 would kiss again. 100/100 would kiss everyday.

 8. you’re sexy when you’re sleepy. did you know that?

 9. you say you don’t like your hair, but they’re beautiful to me. your curls are cute as fuck. thinking about them makes me wanna touch them again. wanna run my fingers through them while we cuddle.

 10. you have a talented tongue. eyemoji.

 11. you give great cuddles. i love you. please cuddle me soon. i wanna cuddle you, too.

 12. your eyes and the way they light up when you eat nice food, or the way they gradually get a little glassy and sad when i cry a little too hard in front of you.

 13. it’s also the way they look at me, as if there’s something in me that’s worth seeing. your vision’s pretty bad (and that’s okay, i’d still love you even when you get old and blind), but you see everything in me that no one else couldn’t – that i couldn’t.

 14. hah, and the way they disappear when you smile your cutest smile, when your cheeks go all the way up and you’re just like ^u^.

 15. your laugh. sometimes you get giggly, like a low “hhhh” and it’s so cute.

 16.  but sometimes when i say something that just makes you laugh like “HAHAHAHA” my heart just forgets what i made you laugh in the first place, because all it knows now is to adore you. i hope you laugh like that more, my baby. your laughter can cure cancer and bring world peace.

 17. i love it when you laugh at my memes. i love how you laugh at my stupid, dumb jokes. know that you don’t always have to laugh at them if you don’t find them funny (because most of them are really dumb hhh), but honestly the only reason why i share them is because they made me laugh, and the only other person that i wanna see laughing is you.

 18. i absolutely love watching you eat. i love how you finish all of your food and you look so, so happy whenever you eat. i can be full just by watching you eat and be happy with food. my baby.

 19. you are my sunshine. one look at you and my problems and worries float away. when we talk, when i’m in your arms, i’m able to tune out the outer world, and i can only focus on you. my light.

 20. i say this in the most loving way possible—you have a crazy side that i always love seeing. it surprises me every time you bring this crazy out, when you sing your random little songs, or just suddenly make derpy faces or extreme green jokes. keep your crazy on, baby. i love everything about it.

 21. i absolutely love watching you gain consciousness in the morning. it’s one of the simple joys that i have in life. i love how, when you wake up and you don’t have anything important to do, it takes you like a hundred years to force your right eye open.

22. you snore. it’s cute. i love it. keep snoring. snore at my face. heck, snore right on my ear. i love you that much.

 23.  your voice. i remember at first you kept telling me that you don’t sound good. you were so insecure. but i couldn’t even find what is it about your voice that doesn’t “sound good”, because to me, your voice is sweet and comforting. like a blanket.

 24. the random selcas you send me sometimes, whether you’re sporting a derpy face or posing prettily, i love them all.

 25. also whenever i see those my heart goes dugeun-dugeun and all i could think of is: “so pretty. wanna kith.”

 26. i’m sorry that i often sound like i don’t care much when you do things for me, or when you do things that i ask of you. i appreciate each and every single one of them, baby. it’s endearing how you always want to be able to do things for me, and for all your other loved ones. you are really one of a kind. especially that time you gave me a gift by singing for me on my birthday.

 27. i could never forget the feeling that i had when you booked that ticket to see me. i was so happy, i felt like i was floating. it was all just so surreal. it was almost too good to be true for me. it’s a feeling that i’m always reminding myself of, the feeling that we made it happen the first time. and we also made it happen the second time. we’re gonna make it happen the third time (i’mma book my ticket soon!), and the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth, until the day we don’t have to be miles away from one another anymore. this love, and everything that we are, is just extraordinary and i would never in a million years trade our love for anything else in this world.

 28. the first time i saw you, i was drawn to you. i’m not a hugger. but i ran to you before i could even think, before i could even process what was happening, or what i was about to do. you were a tiny bit awkward and taken aback, i could tell, but you hugged me back anyway and it was the most comforting hug in the world. to me it was something that i’ve always dreamed of (and i’d never thought i’d have), and when you put your arms around me i had this idea that maybe it was the same for you too, maybe you had wanted to hold me just as much as i was dying to hold you.

 29. when i asked us to sit down at the café for the meantime while the driver found his way to us, you immediately took your phone out. i don’t know, i could tell that you were trying to ignore how awkward it could get so i was just watching you with a smile but you couldn’t even look back at me? and it was just so fucking cute? you were so shy. you asked me “why” and i was like “nothing” but in reality i was falling hard and fast for you there. i love you. god, i love you.

 30. and on our way to the hotel, when you actually kinda called me in to scoot closer and hold your hand, i was on cloud nine.

 31. (later i learned that your hands aren’t only soft to the touch and nice to hold—you’re also talented in using them in other ways. like. you know. in bed.)

 32. on our second day, when i got home from class, i climbed to your bed and started falling asleep in your arms. you were running your fingers through my hair. it might just be my imagination, but as i was being lulled to sleep, i think i heard you tell me that you love me, in the softest voice. the way my heart jumped was something i’ve never felt before, and in that moment i confirmed to myself that this is what i am going to live for.  

 33. i like how you smell and just thinking about it makes me miss you so much, like holy fuck.

 34. i miss how your hair smells. sometimes i open rejoice bottles at the grocery store just to get a whiff of your scent, but it just isn’t the same. i miss you.

 35. when we were at baler, that night we went out and walked back to our place, it was scary but i felt strong beside you, even if you were scared of mongmongs. we’ll have more late-night walks, right? i will protect you from doggo. we’ll go to more beaches in our lifetime, and we’ll make out by the waves and under the stars each time.

 36. i’m sorry that our first kiss was shitty… but i hope i made it up to you? that kiss on the beach? to this day, i still find it to be the most picture-perfect experience i’ve ever had. do you ever wonder just how many people have had their perfect kiss? because i have, and it’s you, you are my perfect kiss. kisses are always perfect with you but there’s just really something about that kiss by the beach. we’ll do more perfect kisses. a hundred. a billion. we’ll make the most out of our time, all the kisses we missed while we were still far from one another.

 37. you are a wonderful friend. whenever you talk to me about your friends, or like when they have issues or something, i understand that you don’t particularly like it when you’re being dragged into their situations, but at the end of the day, you are still good to them and they can still call you whenever they need anything.

 38. you are so good at keeping civil relationships with everyone, and unknowingly, you help peace prevail among your colleagues.

 39. your work ethics. ugh. [ 100 emoji ]. i don’t know why you don’t see it, but you work so hard and so well. you are so good at what you do. i am always so, so proud of you. i’m proud that between the two of us, you seem to have most of the working brain cells, hahahaha.

 40. you ARE good at math. a fucking genius. i’m SO turned on.  

 41. you are creative af. i still remember the stuff you did on canva for the newsletter. you’re so good. like damn. i could never. THAT’S MY BABY RIGHT THERE.

 42. you know so many awful things about me. you know how my dad abused me. you know how i’m not very good at certain things. you know that i’m not really someone who has a nice face, and also, i’m fat. you know that i have the tendency to commit certain mistakes. and yet you’re still here.

 43. i’m not intelligent – at all – but you always tell me that i am. i’m not creative, nor pretty, nor cute, nor anything, but you always remind me that for you, i am every good quality that i don’t think i have, and somehow, i start to learn how to own them. you boost my confidence up, baby. even when i’m a shitty painter, the way you hype me up makes me feel like i can be up van gogh’s ass.

 44. whenever you’re sad, crying, or just generally not feeling well, i have this overwhelming urge to run there and at least hold your hand or hug you. i want to protect you, in any way that i can. it’s like one of my biggest missions in life. i wanna protect you, even though you’re much braver than i am.

 45. you are easy to love. you don’t make it difficult for anyone to love you – you are just lovable as you already are, and baby, trust me when i say that i fall for you harder everyday.

 46. you always know what to tell me, to make my heart find comfort. i hope i could be the same for you.

 47. you are not afraid to stand up for yourself, and that’s so brave. if it had not been for you, i wouldn’t have learned that standing up for myself isn’t wrong. every day, you give me strength and courage to fight for myself, just like how you do. it’ll still take me a long time to figure out how to do it consistently, but being with someone as brave and strong-willed like you is such an inspirational blessing.

 48. have i mentioned how much i love your lips? and our kisses? i’m pretty sure i did but i just wanna remind you just how much i wanna kiss you again. soon.

 49. when we first started dating, i wasn’t very good at communicating – like i’m just very shit at it, i don’t reply and i don’t always say the things i want to say because i don’t know how – but from you, i learned. i appreciate how good you are in this area, and how you always do your best to check up on me, or at least update me when you are doing things. i love you. i’m so happy i have someone like you. rather than just filling in my weaknesses, you help me improve myself.

 50. you try your best to have a very objective, almost perfectly neutral approach to problems but not without using your heart. us humans are naturally emotional, and to me, having the ability to be able to solve a problem by properly investigating the logistics of it, while at the same time keeping a heart, is a superpower.

 51. you are not afraid to argue with me when you know that i’m wrong, and although i have to admit that i sometimes get scared when you’re mad at me, i appreciate that you are bringing things up for the sake of fixing things between us. i am eternally grateful that you are a kind heart, that you call me out when i am wrong not because you want to shove my mistakes to my face, but because you want us to be better. all the more reasons why i should never let you go.

 52. i know that you always got my back. when things feel like they just can’t work the way i hoped they would be, thinking about us and how the universe just allowed us to be with one another despite all the circumstances gives me so much faith.

 53. you listen very well. with you, i feel like you actually want to know about the things that i’m talking about. you always hum and nod along like “i’m listening, go on”, even when i feel like what i’m talking about is very boring or nerdy or dumb. when you do that, i feel very loved. i appreciate that so much.

 54. you listen very well pt. 2, in the sense that when you do not understand something, you ask me so i can clarify it, and in return, you carefully listen to what i have to say. you listen so you can understand. you always give me a chance to speak. i appreciate it, all of it.

 55. YOU are a star. at everything. you’re good at everything you do, you always makes things work and even when you don’t, you’re still good and like i said earlier, you always make me so so proud of you. i love you. i hope you’re proud of yourself, too.

 56. i am tough to deal with, tough to understand at times, especially when i’m sick or going through something, but i’ve never ever seen you give up on me because you were tired. thank you for being patient.

 57. you hate waiting but you do it for me. i’m sorry. i love you. i’m sorry.

 58. absolutely love your pussy. i love eating you out. your wet pussy’s just so beautiful to me. also, i love how you’d run your fingers through my hair. i can’t wait until i get to taste you again, baby.

 59.  also, can i just say that whenever i see you looking at me, my heart still stops?

 60. the way you teach me malay, and the way you laugh at me when i say things with a foreign accent. nasi lemak sambal sotong? u w u

 61. the way you SPEAK tagalog. you’re so cute. you’re like a baby. whenever i remember how you repeat “dalawa” “na lang” “mahal kita”, my heart melts. i love you. so much.

 62. it’s a small detail, but when i have issues and you’re trying to help me with it, you always ask me what you can do for me. whenever i hear it, i become much stronger because i get reminded that you’re here, with me, willing to do whatever just to keep me at ease.

 63. another small detail, but whenever i’m going through something, you always say ‘we’ or ‘us’ instead of just ‘you’ or ‘me’. “we’ll make it.” / “can we eat our dinner soon?” / “is there any way for us to deal with it?”

 64. ah,, the way you grope me unapologetically in public. especially that time you claimed me at the bus. fuck. that was so hot. do it again. (suddenly i’m thinking of making out with you in a fitting room.)

 65. also, whenever i let you watch me fuck myself on vidcall and you ask me like, “good?”, i swear to god i can cum from that alone.

 66. i love you even when you think you are not worth loving, even when you feel like such a failure as a sister to your siblings, as a daughter to your family, or even as a lover to me.

 67. i love you even when we’re not okay as a couple. even when i’m not okay as an individual. even more when you are not okay as an individual. some nights are just so bad, and i am sorry for even letting us go through such things, but even so, we get through them. that is the most important thing, right? a lot of times, giving up has crossed our minds but did we ever? no, because we are meant to be.

 68. i love you. i know you love me, too. that love just never goes away, and it is the kind of love that is always worth keeping.

69. you, my baby, deserve this entire world. you deserve the sun, the moon, and all the other stars in the sky. you deserve the entire universe and a lifetime’s worth of love. i know that it’s impossible to swim from the ocean to the sky and personally pick out the most beautiful star for you but know that i’ll dedicate my life to giving you everything else that i could.

 70. i also know that i am still imperfect and sometimes i just couldn’t deliver, but i am asking for patience because i am still learning for you. i want to be better for you.

 71. actually, the mere idea that you always make me want to be a better individual for you already makes you such a wonderful person. again, for the nth time, i am so lucky to have someone like you.

 72. i love how you touch me. i love how you love my boobs. i love how you rub your my clit. i loved how your fingers felt inside me, like fuck. it was so good.

 73. i especially love how you kiss them and run your tongue gently against my nipples until they perk up.

 74. you never failed to support me. although sometimes, you don’t necessarily agree with my methods or the decisions i make, you support me anyway – you’re still there, you never left.

 75. if you ever need a kidney, i got two.

 76. if you ever need a heart, mine is all yours.

 77. i asked the universe for happiness, you gave me so much more. you gave me peace, you gave me wonder, you gave me hope and light when it’s just pitch black. i’m too far gone, too far in love with you and your soul that i swear i’d lose everything if i lost you.

 78. you can have my everything and i don’t even have second doubts about it. i am uncertain about a shit ton of things, but i am certain that i love you, and i want to build a future with you.

 79. and this is the part where i start daydreaming about the everything we’re going to have.

 80. you and i, we will be one. we’ll be happier. we will be okay. i will be your wife, and you will be mine.

 81. we’re going to have a house of our own. not too big, and not too small – just enough for you and me to be in our own little world. can we grow houseplants? i’d love to grow my own herbs by a windowsill.

 82. i’d cook for you. maybe not everyday, because remember you’re dating a lazy ass bitch and i know sometimes we’d both come home just hungry as fuck that we’d want to just order take out, but if you ask me to, i will put on that apron and cook for you. i wanna be that nurturing housewife, you know? (of course i want some kissy kissy while i cook. may i have those too?)

 83. don’t forget the nine cats we’re gonna adopt. we’re going to love each and every one of them. they’re gonna be like our children. you are going to be such a great fur-mom to our future cats. i can’t wait to see that.

 84. i’m gonna do housekeeping. i’ll clean the toilet for us, you’ll do the dishwashing. i’ll happily fold your clothes and iron them always.

 85. we need house rules. maybe at least five. number one should be “don’t forget to kiss your wife goodbye”. if i can’t go to work with you, then you better give me that kith before you go. > : c

 86. i won’t let you get out of the house without breakfast. but if you’re running late, i’m gonna make sure you have a packed meal ready, so that you won’t be too hungry when you get to work. <3

 87. you’ll do your best at work like always. when you come home tired, or when you want to rant about your coworkers, i’ll hold your hand and kiss you while you talk, so that you can calm down. when i feel like wanting to give up, you’ll be there for me like always, and you’ll pick me up from my slump.

 88. on our off days, we’ll stay in, eat pizza and ice cream, and watch Netflix, hold hands, kiss and cuddle.

 89. ^ if you’re bored with that, we can go out and explore. you can drag my lazy ass outside, it’s fine, as long as i can get to see your pretty pretty smile.

 90. i’m gonna have my master’s degree! and be a good housewife for you. you’re going to reach everything you want to achieve, learn everything you want to learn, earn everything you want to earn, because you are my #BestAgent, #CEO, #RichMama.  we’re gonna witness everything fall into place, not only for me, but for you and all the people that we love.

 91. not all marriages are perfect… there’s gonna be yelling here and there. but we’ll get through them, just like how we get through things right now.

 92. we’ll grow together, as a couple and as individuals. i’ll learn so many things from you, and i’ll be able to share some of my knowledge with you, too.

 93. you and i will grow old. together. we’ll see each other’s hairs turn gray, we’ll lose our teeth together and laugh about each other’s wrinkles when we’re much older.

 94. (i wonder how the sex is gonna be when we reach that age. hmm. we’re gonna be so lethargic. we really need to invest on vibrators. HAHAHAHAH jks.)

 95. all of the things i listed above are the things that keep me going – the things that keep me sane. it’s you, beautiful. you keep me on my feet, you help me get back on track. but most of all, you give me hope that i will be able to spend a lifetime being happy with you. you give me hope that i deserve to be happy with the person that i love, despite my past and the issues that i carry from those scars.

 96. there are lots. there are a million other beautiful things about you and me that i failed to mention, and there will be a billion more memories to create with each other. along with those memories, i will learn a gazillion more reasons to love you.

 97. like that one 8bitfiction quote, “i forgive the world because it has you” – it’s true; the world is ugly but it’s beautiful to me. you make all the difference, baby.

 98. we will be okay. you and i will have our happily ever after, so i need you to hang on tight until we get there. me too, i’ll be here, i’ll always do my best, and i’ll always hang on tight so that we can reach our dreams together.

 99.  you’ll always have me. i’m not going anywhere.

 100.�� and even before you ask in the future, for the record, yes, i will marry you.

 i love you, baby. happy valentine’s day. <3 

[coumatous]

Traditionally, I’ve been attending conventions on some of the biggest events every year – Cosplay, Anime, Business Expo or even an exhibit. But there’s one event that excites me every year and that is ESGS 2017. E-Sports and Gaming Summit 2017 is one of the biggest gaming conventions in Southeast Asia. This event was held last October 27-29, 2017 at the SMX Convention Center Pasay City. I love gaming, and as a casual gamer, I am so interested to this kind of event because it showcases lots of released and upcoming games and a wide range hype of the whole gaming community. Join me as I give you my thoughts and comments as well as my coverage for ESGS 2017. And here we go.

  I am so amazed by this entrance of ESGS because you can feel the gaming vibe already. “PRESS START” and “WELCOME” sign? I love it so much. It makes me pump already. The stage is set, ready to put all the segments and tournaments throughout the event.

  As you enter ESGS, humble staffs await the congoers giving them surprises to make their day fun already.

      The first surprise on the list is the Playstation Booth that catches the eye of every gamer in the event. They featured lots of games like this game called the Sword Art Online: Fatal Bullet. From the anime series until this game shows up. I tried the game and I like it so much. Worth to buy this game. Followed by the Dragonball Fighter Z in which it is also the hype of the crowd. As you know the Dragonball characters themselves, they will clash on who is the best.

  Followed by Dissidia and The Evil Within 2, these upcoming games are also the mark on the list. Gamers are so pumped up playing these games during freeplay.

  Biggest booths of Playstation like Call of Duty: WWII, and Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite is an arena-like vibe. Seeing them playing on booth facing the crowd is one of the best for me. Intense matches from MVCI and loud wars from COD is one of the best highlights that these booths acquired. In addition to that, there’s also NBA 2K18 Booth for avid basketball fans out there.

  Dive into the game itself as Playstation Booth also brings Playstation VR (Virtual Reality) booth with plenty of games like No Heroes Allowed and The Inpatient. They also showcase these cool joystick controllers right here. Plus, this cool looking Gran Turismo section is also one of the best that I’ve ever seen. I’m feeling like a racer already right here.

      Congoers also dance along at the Just Dance 2018 Booth. With enormous recent tracks to choose from, dancers are grooving their body with the music. Even I do some flawless steps in the dance floor.

  I heard at many reviews that this game is perfect and it is also one of the games that are worth to buy and that is Assasins Creed : Origins. This Egypt-looking booth is astonishing. Even players can’t get enough to do a freeplay to try this game.

  One of the most visited booth in ESGS is the Monster Hunter World booth. They had a long queue for players to try this very hype game and they can’t wait to be released in 2018. Even though they had a long wait for their turn but they had this joy in their face as they finish the quest.

  Also, Gunpla joins the party as well. Card games, mecha and figurines, they exhibited only the best in their booth.

  HyperX booth has also a crowdy place as they showcase their featured products like Alloy keyboards and Cloud Revolver headphones. They also do a freeplay for people to play with their favorite games using their latest products.

  Thermaltake also showcase their products as well. As you look with these cool PC equipments, you’ll have the idea of getting a gaming setup in your house.

  This adorable Cherry Mobile mascot is also an eyecatcher in the event, as he appears, he is also ready to take selfies with the crowd. Even I do a quick selfie with him during my coverage. But hey, Cherry Mobile featured their latest product, the Cherry Mobile Flare S6.

  Congoers tried their luck as the Lord of Dice game is up for Game Tayo booth. It is one of the most awaited mobile strategic action game that suits for Pinoy gamers. Big smiles were the reaction of those that visited their booth as Lord of Dice gave away surprises as well.

  Elite also includes to ESGS 2017 as they announce the release of Ragnarok Journey, a web-browser based MMORPG game. Ragnarok is one of the unforgettable online game by typical Pinoys and by that, Elite gave away freebies and rewards for people who visited their booth, too.

  More games were showcased and Monstraunauts will never give up as they featured some of the best games like Ore Bits and Potion Punch.

  From time to time, people is getting bigger and bigger as the event goes on and on. Even the whole media of ESGS is so busy tooking their coverages and posting their thoughts in the event also in social media.

    Meanwhile, MSI booth is also in the picture of ESGS. They do registration, auctions, and showcasing products like Stealth & Stealth Pro Model, Raider, Camo Squad, Apache Pro, and Leopard Pro. It’s so nice to have these cool stuffs in your PC setup.

  Not only MSI did its job, but Viewsonic as well. Viewsonic featured their latest products like XG2401, XG3202-C, XG2703-GS and VX2457-MHD.

  Well of course, E-sports is life in ESGS and they have lots of e-sport games that had been going on during the event. In fact, there’s this Mobile E-Sport Arena Invitational in ESGS. Sounds awesome right? Well first is the Vain Glory booth. gamers are playing together and i’m happy seeing gamers playing together and hang along together.

  One of the biggest trend mobile game in the Philippines is also in ESGS and that is Mobile Legends powered by Globe. Mobile Legends conduct a tournament for Pinoys to enjoy on and it’s truly a remarkable history for Mobile Legends for a success run.

  Well look at here, this is one of the newest esport mobile game to look out for and that is Heroes Evolved. Congoers tried freeplays and spectate matches from participants who competing to be the champion, too.

    This is a 100% Filipino-Made Online Game right here. This is Project Xandata. As the game grows, its community also grows as well. Lots of people visited this booth and did a freeplay and giving freebies for everyone.

  Ludus Booth featured their latest card games and showcased on how to play these games. Check them out.

    This wide-looking racing game right here is featured here at the PLDT and Philips booth. Philips also featured their latest monitors.

    When I visit the Predator booth, you can see that you are in a snow when you visit this booth. Their featured products are as cold as snow, too.

  Fighting game communities united as Playbook, Secret Base and Cosmic Gorgons are jamming along to ESGS 2017. They did lots of activities like tournaments, some giveaways and freeplays for gamers. It is fun to play Tekken and Super Smash Bros with these guys by the way.

    Everwing is also part of the game as well. This Facebook game reached to ESGS and now it still marked to every congoer that visited their booth during the event. Paladins is also in this booth powered by Smart. I’m also looking forward into this game in the world of mobile esports.

  Congoers are pumped up at the event. Thanks to Mountain Dew, Monster Energy and Bacchus for providing drinks to every gamer right here. Plus, they also do some challenges for them to try some even big prizes from congoers.

  Sennheiser had an exclusive deals from their latest products like GSP 300, GSP 350, GSX 1000, PC 373 D, GSX 1200, Game ONE Black, and Game ZERO. They also had a freeplay portion on their booth.

  But hey, Synergy 88 looks awesome, too. Aside from having their DJ on top, grooving and making jams for everybody, they also featured some of their latest games like Ang Probinsyano and Barangay 143.

  State colleges and universities are also part of ESGS as they represent their best of the best games, arts, game developments and programs of their school. These cool mechanics from Asia Pacific College are awesome while iAcademy dares to be different and be a game changer on their booth.

  These cool games from different schools are so awesome to look and try these Pinoy games by Indie game developers. But there’s one game that I tried and one of my favorites. And that is Firefly. Firefly is much of a horror game as the person had a nightmare of some horrific creatures and he must avoid these creatures from his nightmare. As like I said, this is one of my favorites because it’s very challenging, very scary but lots of fun to play this game and I think this has the potential of making it on top of the best games in the market.

  Several booths are also in ESGS 2017 like Otaku’s Den, Shop N’ Play, Redmonster Shop, Wallet Codes, Otaku Hobby Toys, Secret Shop and Abubot as they selling their products for gamers to buy at. Gameclub Philippines also had a lot in store for players like lots of freebies, prizes and rewards for everyone.

  You may also check out this cool looking swords and awesome products from Long Live Play Philippines right here.

  This space-looking hub is powered by IMMRSV Asia as congoers toured them into a beautiful looking virtual reality inside. Looks lovely.

  These latest products are also showcased by Red Dragon, Zotac and Gamdias here in ESGS 2017.

  Hellwarders is the latest game by Anti Gravity Game Studios by the way. While Last Regiment is also a new game and they did a freeplay for gamers to test and enjoy at. There’s this Dead Prison in this booth where you can wear a VR gear and shoot some deadly creatures in the game.

  Ranida Games presented this Pinoy made game called Bayani : Kanino Ka Kakampi. This fighting game is truly inspired by Filipino heroes and creatures if I remember correctly.

    The trend of Pinoy these days are flipping bottles and dabbing. But this game, the stakes are high for the Flippy Bottle Extreme as congoers tried this newest game and they dab and dab all along. Meanwhile, Taipei Game Show featured a game called Mokai Adventure. They came here to promote their event in which it will be held in Taiwan this January 25-29, 2018.

    There’s also cosplayers roaming around the event and endorsing brands of every booth.

    I also witnessed the Just Dance 2018 showcase on stage as dancers are giving their best moves and grooves from recent music tracks that we love like 24K Magic by Bruno Mars, Side to Side by Ariana Grande, Despacito, Daddy Cool, Boom Boom and more. The audience was surprised as dancers did a flash mob for everyone to enjoy and dance along with everybody. Even I danced along with them as well.

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  The best highlights for this event are tournaments. Participants from Paladins, Heroes Evolved, Brawlfest and Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite are doing their best in the game, to win the game, to win that gold, and to win their territory. The hype, trashtalks, cheers and winning highlights, its so satisfying to look at these gamers enjoying these glorious moments in ESGS.

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  There’s also a cosplay competition by Animax where cosplayers put their best costumes and roleplays with their respective characters. I’m not gonna lie but each and every participant throughout the competition are so awesome, they are the best.

    My thoughts for ESGS 2017? Hmm. Overall, this event was a success for me. Each congoer as I encountered is happy and enjoying this event. This event has full of surprises as well. As I asked some of them on how’s their experience, they said that this is one of the best cons that they’ve ever been through. They are so organized and staffs are very accommodating and ready to assist.

  Being a part of the media is one of my unforgettable experience here in ESGS. I would like to thank ESGS and GG Network for having me in this event. I’m looking forward to this event and some of the biggest events next time. Well then, see you on my next coverage then.

A Dive Into Gamer’s Paradise at ESGS 2017 Traditionally, I've been attending conventions on some of the biggest events every year - Cosplay, Anime, Business Expo or even an exhibit.

[withnosuchgrace]

Counting Stars

summary: you never expected to talk to Sehun, but then again, you never expected to take astronomy either, and neither of those stop you from turning to the smartest kid in class when your grades are on the verge of sinking into a black hole. 

part 1 | part 2 | 

genre: fluff !!!!!! (i cried a lot)

word count: 8806

A/N: i have two essays and a test on monday but i finished this instead. Enjoy!!

- P A R T  T W O  -

A few weeks have passed, and you found yourself seated next to Sehun every astronomy class. It became a habit, like second nature, to take a seat next to the smart boy in the front row. You knew he had gotten used to it too, as he kept saving you a seat time after time, regardless if you were late or not.

Your study sessions continued too, at least one every week, and it was through these study sessions that you found yourself really getting close to Sehun.

You happened to be in his room right then, lying on your stomach on his bed, while he took his usual seat at his desk, the both of you studying for midterms.

You found that you were much more productive and studied more efficiently in Sehun’s presence, and so your study sessions extended to more than simply astronomy and onto other subjects. Sometimes you would go for hours without saying a word, simply studying your own respective subjects, but it was being in each other’s presence that brought on a feeling of calm.

You were in the middle of reading about third wave feminism when you felt yourself beginning to lose focus, and getting bored.

“I’m curious. Why are you studying astronomy?”

You watched as Sehun spun around on his chair to look at you. He sensed it was time for a well-needed break as well, and you could tell, because he never fully turned away from his desk unless he needed a break.

“I just like space.” He stated, simply.

“Oh come on, you’ve got to give me more than that!” You began to sit up with your legs crossed so you were at least eye level with him.

“Fine. Well, I’ve always had a fascination with the stars and the universe and everything out there. It’s absolutely mind-blowing how immense the universe is. My dad bought me my first telescope and I spent all my summers as a kid with my eyes on the sky. Which is probably why it’s my major.” He admitted, with a small nostalgic smile. He then looked at you expectantly. “Your turn.”

You shrugged. “Suho told me to sign up so I did.”

“That’s it?” He exclaimed, incredulously.

“Yup. Not as much of a dramatic tale as yours was.” You laughed.

“No kidding. Do you at least like the class?”

“It’s definitely interesting, which is why we all decided to stay. And having you there to help me out has also really boosted my image of the course.”

Sehun tried to hide his bashful smile, though his reddening ears was giving him away. You had thanked him countless times for the help he was giving you with the course, and every time he would attempt to hide his smile out of embarrassment, which in turn caused you to grin.

You felt slightly guilty for having Sehun tutor you without expecting anything in return. You had offered to pay him countless times, but he denied all of them, claiming that he enjoyed tutoring you and astronomy came easy to him. He didn’t need anything.

Still, your mind was reeling with trying to figure out what you could do for him. Maybe you could get him a present at the end of the semester? Would he like that? He wasn’t one to accept things easily.

You were lost in these thoughts when you heard him calling your name.

“What?” You blinked repeatedly as you noticed him snapping his fingers in front of your face.

“You completely blanked out.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” You bit your lip in embarrassment. “What were you saying?”

“I was asking what you were studying.” He pointed to your notes that were spread across his bed.

“Sociology of gender.” You showed him the cover of your notebook. “Pretty interesting stuff.”

“I can bet.” His eyes scanned over your notes, half of which were typed and the other half handwritten. You weren’t the most organized person. “Wait, I never asked what your major is.”

“Feminist studies.” You claimed, proudly, with your head held high and a smug look painted across you face.

He let out a chuckle at your face. “Wait! You’re an Arts student?”

“Yeah. What about it?” You challenged.

“Wow maybe that’s why you’re having so much difficulty in astronomy.” He teased.

“Shut up.” You stuck your tongue out at him in a childish manner, causing the small room to full with his lovely laughter that he could no longer contain.

As most students know, midterm season is a time of sleepless nights, stress overload, and the desperate wish for time to stop so you can at least catch your breath.

This season was no different.

Your group of friends were just as stressed as you felt, and it was evident in their faces, their smiles exchanged for frowns, and bags hanging under their eyes as they attempted to memorize entire chapters of their textbooks in the span of two days.

By far the worst out of the bunch was Chen. It was quite strange since he was generally the one out of the group that usually had his shit together, or at least was able to pull off looking like he did, but the minute a major test or assignment was involved, he was a lost cause.

On a daily basis, Chen had at least six cups of coffee, however, this number would multiply many times over in the span of two weeks. You were certain that if someone were to look into his veins, they would find the brown liquid instead of blood. No normal human could consume that much caffeine.

Consequently, he was fidgety and quite unpleasant during midterms. It had only been two days and he had already snapped at Suho and Chanyeol thrice. You were smart and stayed away from him until he was finally himself again, but your friends weren’t as bright.

You were sitting in the student lounge in the basement of one of the buildings on campus, which was mostly empty since any sane student was hauled up in the library or in their dorms and studying their asses off. You would’ve been there too, had you not been dragged out here for some “chill time” (at least, that’s what Suho called it).

You cast a glance at Chen sitting on the couch adjacent to yours. Chanyeol had dragged him out here, too, and he looked like he was ready to punch him, or cry, or both. His leg was bouncing relentlessly, left eye slightly twitching, and he was biting his nails, more of a reason to remind himself he was really here rather than a bad habit.

“What the fuck are we doing here? I have two exams tomorrow that I should be studying for!” Joy had her arms crossed and a frown on her lips.

You nodded in agreement. “I second that, guys, what’s going on?”

“C’mon, why can’t we take a break from studying for a few hours? Y’all are killing the mood.” Doyoung pouted, barely lifting his eyes from a game he was playing on his phone, Chanyeol right behind him, anxiously looking at the boy’s score.

“Killing the mood? You’re lucky I haven’t killed any of you yet.” Joy sent glares all around.

“Relax, Joy, we are here to discuss something!” Suho piped up, messing up her hair and causing her to grimace.

“Really? So we’re not simply here to avoid studying?”  

Suho hesitated at Wendy’s words. “Okay, maybe that, too. But, listen, I was talking to Heechul and he wants to throw this super big party for the end of midterms. It’ll be great and such a great reward after being so close to death.”

“You said ‘great’ twice.” Joy pointed out.

“Isn’t Heechul always throwing parties?” You asked, rhetorically.

“Honestly, how does he have any time to study at all?” Chen managed to mutter from his position on the couch. It looked like he was finally calming down from his initial anger and you saw his eyes falling heavy from the lack of sleep he surely must have experienced.

“It’s hard to believe he’s doing his master’s,” Ten chuckled, finally having an input in the current conversation, although his eyes never lifted from his phone as he spoke. He let out a bark of laughter, soon followed by Doyoung’s cry in defeat.

“Dude, you destroyed the high score!” Chanyeol gasped, his eyes comically growing wide as his mouth fell open in shock. “Do you know how long it took me to set it that? Three weeks! And you just smashed that to the ground in less than twenty minutes! How the hell…?”

A smug smirk painted Ten’s face as he leaned back on the couch, his arms folded behind his head as he basked in his Everwing winning glory. “It’s called talent, Chan. It’s not my fault I was born for this game.”

“I’ll beat you next time!” Doyoung assured, pointing a finger at Ten, causing the raven haired boy to let out a cheeky laugh.

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Guys, guys, guys.” Suho interjected, “we’re losing focus here. This meeting is turning into a mess!”

“Meeting?” Wendy rose an eyebrow.

“Whatever this is! The point is that we have to gather enough people for this party. Are you guys in or what?”

Chatter filled the student lounge as some tried to come up with excuses and others discussed who they could invite; Chanyeol, Doyoung and Ten were still heatedly talking about their game; Chen may have fallen asleep on the couch, who knew how long ago.

You, however, remained quiet. You were lost in your thoughts. Thoughts of Sehun.

Wait, this is not what it looks like. You were merely thinking of what Sehun would think of this party. He didn’t seem like one that was into partying, but maybe he just hadn’t been invited to any of the good ones.

Perhaps this could be one of the ways in which you could pay him back for the tutoring. Although he didn’t show it much, Sehun was probably just as mentally exhausted from midterms as everyone else. What better way to relax than losing yourself in a way that only one of Heechul’s legendary parties could do.

You weren’t certain, but you didn’t cross out Sehun from your potential guest list just yet.

You were only brought out of your thoughts by Chen suddenly awaking at the prodding of Doyoung, resulting in the lounge to be filled with curses.

“Alright,” Suho said hastily, clapping his hands together to gather everyone’s attention. “Meeting’s over, you’re free to go, my friends.”

You tried to figure out the best way to bring up the party to Sehun but it was proving more difficult than you thought. You had no idea how he would react, resulting in you spending a few days just analyzing him.

You asked him some random questions you had prepared to test him and studied his reactions. You nodded thoughtfully to yourself at his answers, all the while making note of his body language and his overall response to the questions you asked.

One such question was about whether or not he drank, and while at first he had been alarmed at the sudden question, he answered honestly, saying that he didn’t really drink too much.

You would wait a few moments before moving on to your next question, asking what he thought about going out late on a Friday night.

If Sehun was puzzled by all your questions, he didn’t voice it. He answered all of them relatively calmly, though a frown did tug at the corner of his mouth.

Your list of questions was slowly thinning out as you made note of his different reactions on the paper. You made sure to hide this list from him, not knowing what excuse you would make if he ever saw it. It all was a little strange, if you were being honest.

You were in his room, casually trying to bring up a question every now and then as he sat at his desk trying to study.

“What do you think of loud music?” you asked, sneaking a glance in his direction to see what he would say.

“Uh, I don’t know. It gives me a headache?”

You nodded to yourself, and made a squiggly line next to the question. Your eyes flitted to the next question. It was the last one, and it meant you were finally going to have to outright invite him to the party.

You bit your lip as you tried to formulate the right word order in your mind before taking a deep breath and just going for it.

You did not notice that Sehun was already looking at you in curiosity, getting quite concerned with all of your unusual questions. It seemed like you were interviewing him for something, though he could not figure out why.

“(Y/N), what are all these questions about?” He finally gained the courage to ask you about it, just as you finally began to ask him the question you had been pondering for days.

“Are you free Friday night?”

You both stopped abruptly, looking at the other wide eyed.

“Uh…”

You may have been the one to snap out of the trance first, but Sehun was the one who spoke a coherent sentence first.

“Did you just…” Sehun tilted his head a little to the side akin to the way a lost puppy would. “Did you just ask me out?”

The blush colouring your cheeks was as bright as a fire engine, which was relevant since a million sirens were going off in your head.

“Wait! That’s not what I meant!  I was trying to-”

You were interrupted by Sehun speaking again. “What’s the paper you keep writing on?”

“This? Oh it’s nothing important! I swear it’s practically garbage.”

You were trying to hide it from him, but he was quicker than you and managed to snatch it up from the bed before you had a chance to stop him.

You buried your face in your hands out of pure embarrassment. There was no going back from this now. This is not what you had planned for this to go.

You saw through parted fingers Sehun reading your list, mortified.

Sehun’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Is this a list of all the questions you asked me? What are all these symbols beside them for?”

You sighed, dropping your hands from your face. “I kind of made that list of questions to see how you would react to the actual question I wanted to ask you.” You couldn’t look up at him, instead focusing your attention on his white bed sheets.

“You mean ask me out? Right?” His tone held no emotion, or maybe he was just really good at hiding them.

You snapped your head to look at him so quickly your neck hurt. “No! Oh my god, no way! I was going to invite you to a party!”

“As a date?”

“As a friend.” You emphasized.

His mouth fell open in a small ‘o’ shape, finally realizing what happened. He didn’t say anything, which had you a little uneasy.

“So… will you come to Heechul’s party on Friday night? It’s after all the midterms and it’ll be a great way to relax after all the stre-”

“No.”

You abruptly stopped. “What?”

Sehun looked at your expression, a tinge of guilt painting his features. “What I mean to say is, I’ll pass.”

You felt disappointed. You had hyped up this question since Saturday, all for it to come crashing down within minutes. “Oh.”

Sehun shrugged. “Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Oh, um, that’s understandable, I guess.” you suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and not knowing what to do.

The room filled with an uncomfortable silence, one that appeared after a long time because you hardly had any awkward moments with Sehun anymore.

You checked the time on your phone and were surprised to see that it was already past six, and that you should get back to your own dorm and grab some supper.

“Are you leaving?” Sehun asked, watching as you gathered your things, pulled on your fall jacket and wrapped your scarf tightly around your neck.

You nodded. “Yeah, it’s getting a little late and I’ve got to get some stuff done. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“Of course! Bye, have a safe trip!” he smiled softly.

You offered your own smile in response before walking out his door, though your mind remained filled with thoughts of him.

Although you were bummed out about Sehun rejecting the invitation, you realized the following morning that it was okay, that partying just wasn’t his scene, and that was perfectly fine. You could maybe go out with him for ice cream instead.

The next astronomy class went fairly well, the two of you speaking as you normally would, not once mentioning the party or the mishap that happened last night. The awkwardness was nearly diminished between you, and for that you could not be happier.

It was only on Thursday, two days after he rejected your invitation, that he brought up the party again.

You were packing up your things so you could finish up your studying for your last midterm tomorrow in your own room and leave Sehun to catch some shut-eye, which he was definitely needing. He had insisted he was fine, but you knew for a fact that he was exhausted beyond belief.

“Now when I’m gone, you better be sleeping, alright? How are you going to pass your midterm if you can’t even keep your eyes open?”

He nodded but couldn’t keep himself from rolling those same tired eyes.

You said your goodbyes, with you nagging him to sleep once more and him basically kicking you out of his room (“how do you expect me to sleep when you’re still here yelling at me?”).

You finally left with a small smile playing at the corner of your mouth.

Back at your own dorm, you had your notes spread out all around you and were in the midst of remembering all the theories that were surely going to be on your exam, when your phone began to ring. You looked at in in puzzlement, since it was already well past midnight. Who the hell would be calling you so late?

Your confusion only grew when you read Sehun’s name on your screen.

Sehun had never called before, you would only message. And he was supposed to be sleeping!

You finally picked it up after the third ring. “Sehun? Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping.”

“Uh, yeah about that… I couldn’t really sleep.”

It was so strange hearing his voice over the phone. It made his voice a little deeper, and made him feel closer, making you feel something, but that in itself was a weird thought, so you immediately dismissed it.

“What do you mean you can’t sleep? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything’s fine… I was just thinking.”

“About what?” You sat up properly now, pushing your notes away, knowing full well you wouldn’t be able to study anymore.

“The party.”

Embarrassment began to eat at your insides as you thought back to how you had asked him to the party. You were glad this was a  phone call after all, so Sehun could not see how red your face had gotten.

“About that, look I’m really sorry if I came across really bold and like I was asking you out or something. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but listen, you have every right to not wanting to come and I shouldn’t stop you from doing you. We can go out for ice cream instead to celebrate the end of midterms, if that makes you  more comfortable? I even know of a place that lets you get a second scoop for free if you fail!” You realized you were ranting and quickly shut up when you heard him repeatedly calling your name.

“(Y/N), listen,” he was finally heard after your ceaseless babbling. “All of that sounds really great but it’s not necessary.”

“Oh, that’s fine! We can go to have something else instead of ice cream! I also know this great burger joint -”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” You heard him sigh, and you could practically see him running his fingers through his dark hair, something that he had a habit of doing when he grew frustrated. “What I mean to say is I changed my mind. About the party.”

There was a pause on his end and you were about to ask him again if everything was indeed okay, when he uttered the words you never thought he would say. “I’ve decided to go.”

The smile that grew on your face was so wide that it caused your cheeks to hurt, but you didn’t care.

You hadn’t even realized that you didn’t answer until you heard his voice once more.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here, I was just - wow what made you change your mind? I mean are you sure? You were pretty adamant about not going a few days ago.” You had tried to act casual about the entire ordeal, but failed to do so as you continued.

This didn’t slip past Sehun, who immediately took note of your happy tone of voice, though he didn’t mention it. “I don’t know, actually.” In honesty, he had a feeling that he did know what caused him to change his mind, though he did not mention this either. “I just thought you were right about it being a good way to take away the stress from these past two weeks so it’s only appropriate, right?”

“Yes! But are you sure you’re going to be comfortable and stuff? You did say that this wasn’t really your scene.”

“I’ll be fine. It’ll definitely be something different but we’ve all got to take risks in life, don’t we?”

You nodded excitedly, before realizing he couldn’t see you. “Yes, yes. It’s going to be so great, Sehun. We could meet up at your dorm before heading to it together?”

“That sounds perfect!” You could tell that he was sporting a soft smile, too. “Well, that was all I wanted to say, and it’s getting pretty late so I’m going to sleep for real now.”

You laughed. “Same here. I don’t think I can study right now.”

“Oh no, did I interrupt your studying?” A tinge of guilt laced Sehun’s voice.

“No!” You blurted way too quickly. “I studied as much as I could already. There’s nothing more my brain can handle.”

“Alright, well I’m going. See you tomorrow.”

You said your goodbyes, and you waited until the line completely cut before letting an excited squeal to escape your lips.

You did wonder what really did cause Sehun to change his mind, but that wasn’t important right now. All you cared about was the fact that he was really going. Tomorrow’s party was going to be quite the experience.

The smile that you had been wearing all day had yet to leave your face. You swiftly got through your last midterm and although you weren’t sure whether you did well or not, you were far too giddy for tonight to care.

You had mentioned to Doyoung that Sehun had agreed to come after all, and the look on his face had been priceless.

“Mr. Smarty-Pants is going to make an appearance? What did you do to convince him? Pay him? Something else?” He rose his brow suggestively, his laughter only increasing in volume after receiving a punch on his shoulder, courtesy of you.

“No. I actually have no idea what caused him to change his mind, but I ain’t complaining. It’s going to be so much fun.”

Doyoung rolled his eyes as the two of you approached your dorm room. “It was going to be lit either way. But I do have to admit that I am excited to finally meet the guy after hearing about him non-stop for weeks.” He sighed dramatically, leaning on the wall adjacent to your room door, while you fumbled in your pocket for the keys.

“What are you talking about? I don’t talk about him that much.”

“Ah, the phase of denial. (Y/N), seriously, if you aren’t with him, you’re talking about him, or at the very least thinking about him - don’t make that face, I know it’s true!”

You pouted at his accusation. Of course all of them were false. Doyoung just wanted to tease you. It’s what he does best.

“Whatever, I’m going to get ready,” you said, opening the door.

“Now? We still got several hours!”

You propped a hand on your hip. “It takes time to look flawless, Doyoung. But you wouldn’t know. No matter how long you take to get ready, you always look like a butt.”

Doyoung didn’t even crack a smile. “Are you done?”

You nodded, happily. “Yup. I think so.”

“Great. Now I really don’t wanna waste my time here watching you try on like a million outfits, so I’m going to head to the lounge and see if the others are there. Are we going to meet up before heading to Heechul’s? I think Suho and Chen might be going earlier to help him set stuff up.”

“Nah I told Sehun I’d meet up with him before the party.”

“Oh but of course. Anyways, tell him I say hi.” With that, Doyoung was pushing himself off of the wall and making his way down the hall and turning left, heading for the elevators.

You finally entered your room and tossed your bag onto your messy bed and you keys on your even messier desk.

After glancing at your bed and debating whether or not a fifteen minute nap would be worth it, you decided against it and headed towards your closet instead.

Your usual party attire would be whatever you were wearing that day if you were feeling lazy, but on occasion you did like to actually get ready. You loved the act of getting ready, of choosing your clothes carefully, putting on your best makeup and messing around with your hair. And now that you had three hours to spare, you were going to make the most of it.

Your usual routine of showering and pampering took an hour out of that time, but you proceeded with a smile on your face.

You pulled out some thin leggings to wear underneath your dress. You hadn’t had a chance to wear these yet, and were more than glad to see the way they fit you perfectly, and how the sheer material on the sides gave you an edgier look. Your denim jacket completed the outfit perfectly and you took a minute to admire how it looked before getting started on your hair.

By the time you checked the time again, it was nearing seven, the time you were supposed to meet Sehun.

“Oops.” You muttered, putting on a last swipe of lipstick before grabbing your things and wobbling out the door, your shoes not on quite right.

The moment you reached Sehun’s door, your phone rang with his name on the screen.

“Hey are you almost here?”

You chuckled at hearing his voice both in your phone and from behind the closed door in front of you.

“I’m right outside your door, actually.”

You heard a faint, confused “what?” before the door opened revealing Sehun, only he did not look like Sehun. Well, at least not the Sehun you knew.

For one, his hair wasn’t perfectly styled like you had grown used to. Instead, his dark hair was slightly tousled in a way you could have never imagined on Sehun, inviting thoughts of running your fingers through them.

Before those thoughts went to territory you weren’t sure you wanted to venture into, your eyes flickered to his attire, which wasn’t getting any better.

He was wearing a button down shirt which wasn’t tucked into his pants. The pants! You never thought you would live to see the day Oh Sehun wore jeans.

This felt like some twisted alternate reality you were in, and you began thinking if this was just some strange dream you were having. Maybe you had taken that nap before getting ready after all, and were so excited about the party that you were dreaming of Sehun looking like this.

You were brought out of your thoughts and back to reality when Sehun opened his mouth.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”

You shook your head to rid yourself of any unnecessary lingering thoughts before replying. “Uh yeah, yeah I’m fine, just thinking about uh - Doyoung says hi.”

“Oh, well isn’t he going to the party? I could just say hi to him there.”

“Right, are-are you ready by the way?”

“I think so. Lemme just grab my wallet and I’ll be good to go.”

Nothing much was said as you walked side by side down the street and towards Heechul’s apartment building.

The late October wind was bitter and striked you harshly, causing you to shiver.

“No wonder you’re freezing.” Sehun muttered, mostly to himself. His voice was muffled, his own face partially buried in his jacket.

“What do you mean?”

He looked you up and down, before looking away. “Why would you wear those leggings in this weather? Are you stupid or something?”

Your face reddened, though it wasn’t because of the cold. “You’re one to talk!” You fired back. “Look at your outfit! You’re wearing jeans!”

Sehun looked taken aback at your comment. “What’s wrong with wearing jeans?”

You didn’t know what to say to that. What was so wrong in him wearing jeans?

“The fact that it’s you! The Sehun I know doesn’t wear jeans!”

The Sehun I know… what did that mean? Why were you getting so upset over one article of clothing?

“Damn, I didn’t know wearing jeans would be such a big deal.” Sehun rolled his eyes, though you weren’t sure if he was actually offended or not.

In all honesty, he could have been very hurt by your words and you wouldn’t even know, because Sehun had mastered the art of hiding his emotions.

“You still look good though, don’t worry.”

If he heard you, he didn’t make anything of it. The silence resumed as you approached the steps of Heechul’s apartment building.

Sehun followed close behind, as you made your way into the elevator. You pushed the button for the fifth floor, and watched the doors close, leaving you and Sehun alone inside, as the elevator jolted before moving upwards.

“So… are you excited?” you asked, to fill in the silence.

“I guess.” Sehun shrugged. “Is it really as wild as everyone makes it out to be, or is that just stories people like to make up?”

“You’ll have to find out for yourself.” You replied just as the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open.

You led Sehun down the hall with ease, the whole building being familiar to you after your many visits. Although the sound of bass definitely made it easier to find Heechul’s apartment.

His apartment, 505, was the one at the far end of the hall, with the red door, and the last 5 hanging lopsided from where Chanyeol accidentally bashed his head against it during a drinking game gone wrong. The 5 never really hung right after that, and no one was quite sure why. Chanyeol had apologized profusely, and had offered to buy a new 5, but Heechul, being the chill and laid back person he was, insisted that it was fine. It gives it character, doesn’t it?  He had said, I was starting to think this place was getting a little too dull.

You smiled fondly at the memory, before turning to Sehun.  

“Here it is. Apartment 505. You ready?”

You didn’t even give Sehun a chance to reply before opening the door and engulfing yourselves in what could only be described as one of Heechul’s Parties.

The whole apartment gave off a bluish glow, though you had no idea what the source was. Heechul’s apartment looked exactly the way it always did whenever a party was being held. The table was pushed aside, and the couches were arranged in a way to allow a lot of room for those who wanted to dance. The music was practically pounding through the walls, and you wondered how the hell the neighbours haven’t complained yet.

The place was already filled with quite an amount of people, despite the party having barely been started. You quickly caught sight of Doyoung and Ten, both of which already had some shots lined up on the kitchen counter.

“(Y/N)! You made it!” you heard a voice yell over the booming music.

You grinned upon seeing the tall figure approaching you. Heechul wore a backwards cap over his curly hair, giving him a much more youthful look despite his age. His soft sweater really did not match though, but you figured he just didn’t care.

“Of course I made it! You know I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” you hollered.

“Aww, you’re making my heart swell.” he put his hands over his heart in a touched manner. “Listen, the others are in the kitchen if you’re looking for them. I gotta head out to buy another bottle of vodka, I think I’m running low.”

“Sounds good! Don’t drink and drive!” he sent you a thumbs up before shutting the door behind him, enveloping you even more into the party.

“Why was a student teacher at a party like this?” You nearly jumped at the sound of Sehun’s voice so close to your ear.

You spun around to face him, only to realize how close he was, and quickly taking a step back. “Student teacher?”

“Yeah, the guy you were just talking to. He’s too old to be a student, right?”

You burst out laughing at Sehun’s puzzled face. Oh Sehun was so pure.

“Wait, what’s so funny?”

“Dude, that’s not a student teacher! That’s Heechul!”

“Heechul? As in the Heechul? Why is he old? I thought he was a uni student.”

“He is!” your laughter finally subsided and you clutched at your sides where they had begun to hurt. “Believe it or not, he’s actually a graduate student.”

“No way.” Sehun’s mouth fell open in surprise, and you laughed at how cute it was.

“I know! I was just as shocked as you are when I first met him.”

“Wow,” he whispered, mostly to himself, and you wouldn’t have caught it if you hadn’t been already watching his face intently.

“C’mon let’s go say hi to the others.” You said, making your way towards the orange hair that was unmistakably Doyoung.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t (Y/N)!” Doyoung drawled upon seeing you enter the kitchen. “And, oh my, who is this?”

Sehun looked uncomfortable at having all of your friends stare him down, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not quite sure what to say.

“Guys, this is Sehun. He’s in our astronomy class, remember?” You quickly introduced. “Sehun, this is Doyoung, Ten, Chanyeol, Wendy, and Joy.”

All of them greeted him in their own respective ways, Chanyeol even going as far as handing him a cup, sloshing with liquid. Sehun looked down at it, unsure what to do.

“Of course we know who he is,” Doyoung laughed. He looked Sehun up and down, before a mischievous glint appeared in his brown eyes. “You never shut up about him.”

You missed the way Sehun’s eyes comically widened, and his face turning scarlet. Instead, you were shooting your best friend an unamused look. “Doyoung, you’re tipsy and it’s not even 8 yet. That’s a new low.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Ten wanted to do shots as soon as we got here!”

The raven haired boy in question merely shrugged, an unapologetic grin on his lips. “Guilty as charged.”

“So, Sehun,” Wendy promptly changed the subject, turning to the man who hadn’t said a word since entering the kitchen. “What’s your major?”

“Well,” Sehun cleared his throat since it had sounded a little scratchy. Thankfully the music was not as loud in the kitchen, and so there was no need to shout amongst each other. “I’m majoring in Astronomy.”

“Really?” Joy added. “What made you want to major in it?”

Sehun was hesitant at first but after sending a quick glance your way, he began to tell the story he told you a few weeks back.

“A space nerd, nice.” Doyoung murmured, taking another shot.

“Hey Sehun, have you heard of this game?” Chanyeol finally looked up from his phone long enough, to show Sehun the game he had been addicted to for several weeks now.

You found a smile subconsciously make its way onto your face as you watched Sehun begin to open up more to your friends.

“Why the hell are you guys holed up in the kitchen?” you nearly had a heart attack at Suho’s sudden appearance at the doorway of the kitchen, his hands full of beer cases. “Go out there and get wild!”

You were basically ushered out by the short boy, who claimed you weren’t having “enough fun” and “wasting a perfectly good party”.

Sehun found himself by your side again, still not completely comfortable with the scene yet, and only knowing you out of everyone there.

The real party only got started at 9. That was when Heechul and Johnny, one of Heechul’s good friends, set up the beer pong table in the living room.

You had been sitting with your group of friends on the couches, talking, when you heard Johnny cry “who’s up first?”

“We are!” You hollered, grabbing Sehun’s hand and dragging him with you to the table.

“What?!” Poor Sehun didn’t even get a chance to process what had happened until he was stood in front of several cups of beer.

You realized you were still holding his hand and hastily let go, pretending nothing had happened by giving him a bright smile. “Come on, it’s not a party without beer pong! You have to make the memories last!”

Sehun still looked unsure.

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at this. You’ll be soon tasting victory.”

“Are you guys ready?”

You looked across and saw Heechul and Johnny each picking a ball, far too ready for the game to begin.

You nodded, handing Sehun a ball. “You should go first, since it’s your first time.”

He nodded, getting ready to take aim. “I just have to get it into a cup, right?”

“Precisely. It’s okay if you don’t get it, though.”

He threw it as you were speaking, and as expected, he missed the cup in the corner by a few centimetres.

“Dammit.” He muttered, but you assured him it was fine.

Johnny tossed his ball and it landed nicely in the cup right in front of Sehun, he looked at it in confusion.

“Drink it!” Johnny cheered.

Sehun picked up the cup and was slowly bringing it to his mouth when you grabbed it from him.

“Gimme that!” You said, and finishing the contents in one go. You grimaced as the drink burned your throat but still made sure to slam the empty cup down in a dramatic fashion.

When you opened your eyes, you found Sehun looking at you in shock.

“You told me that you’re not a drinker.” You explained. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just drink them all.”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded eagerly. “It’s fine. Now come on, we have to win this thing!”

Your turn went smoothly, the ball falling perfectly into the cup right in the middle. Heechul drank it with ease.

It went back and forth for a while, and every time a ball landed on your side, before Sehun could even think of taking it you would snatch it and down it.

Sehun was getting better and finally managed to land one in on his third try.

He cried in triumph, and you realized it was the loudest you had ever seen him. He was laughing and it caused you to join in, though you were already feeling extra giddy due to the alcohol in your system.

You gave him a high five and a blinding smile before continuing on the game. After that, every time he landed one in, you would high five, sometimes without even looking at each other and as you got more intoxicated, it became more difficult to do so, causing him to laugh in a way that made you stomach churn.

Or maybe that was the beer mixing in your stomach. Who knew.

You ended up losing the game against Heechul and Johnny, which was understandable since they were the crowned kings of beer pong.

While they cheered and toasted a cup in victory, Sehun spun to face you. “I thought you said you were good at this game!”

“I am! It’s not my fault they’re legendary!” You defended.

“We have to play another round. We have to win.”

You never expected to see Sehun this competitive, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t like it.

“Let’s do this.” You said, finishing what remained of the last drink.

Your next game was against Ten and Doyoung, both of which were a little tipsy at this point. This would be a fairly easy game to win.

The game was pretty neck and neck, both sides doing the best that they could despite the world beginning to tip over slightly. You were still drinking all of the cups on your side, refusing to let Sehun even touch them. This was beginning to affect you, your aims getting sloppier, but Sehun was quickly making up for it with his increasingly accurate shots.

There was just one cup left on the other side, and Sehun already had the small white ball twisting in his fingers, getting ready to toss it. His jaw was set and his lower lip had sunk beneath his teeth as he concentrated on his aim, and looking at his side profile like this made you realize just what a sight this was.

Just as you had begun to admire the structure of his jawline, and the way his body looked in that button down shirt, he threw the ball and it landed exactly in the cup.

“We won!” He yelled, throwing his hands in the air and looking at you with the happiest smile you had ever seen. The laughter that came out of his mouth made your stomach twist in a pleasant way, and you knew for a fact that you wanted to hear it again.

“Hell yeah! You did it, Sehunnie!” you cheered giving him a high five and dancing around in joy.

You were both too excited about your win to notice your slip up of what could only be referred to as a cute nickname, although this wouldn’t be the first time you called him Sehunnie that night.

You played a few more rounds, winning most of them, despite you getting more and more intoxicated.

Sehun noticed this with worry, for while he was perfectly fine, you were having trouble standing still.

You were about to drink another cup before Sehun snatched it out of your hands. “I think I’ll take this one. You’ve had enough.”

You pouted. “But you said you don’t drink.”

“It’s fine, one drink won’t kill me.” You watched intently as he drank it, his face contorting as it hit his throat and his nose scrunched up in an adorable fashion.

You giggled. “You’re so cute.”

The tips of Sehun’s ears turned pink at your words, but he made no comment, and you were none the wiser, already moving on to the next topic when the song had switched.

“Oh my God, I love this song!” You gasped. You took hold of Sehun’s hand and began pulling him towards the open space in the living room. “C’mon, Sehunnie, dance with me!”

There were protests by the other team at watching you walk away in the middle of a game, but Sehun only shot them an apologetic look, not knowing what else to do but follow you with his hand still clasped in yours.

You led him to what you deemed as the perfect spot and spun yourself around using his hand, resulting in another fit of giggles. You began to dance, the beat of the song going in time with your heartbeat. You were so engulfed in your dancing that you hadn’t noticed Sehun just standing there awkwardly.

“What’s wrong, Sehunnie?” you were pouting again, and if you had been sober, you would have been beyond embarrassed.

“I can’t dance.” he admitted sheepishly.

“Nonsense!” you hiccupped, and took hold of both of his hands and placed them around your waist while you wrapped yours behind his neck. “Like thisss,” you slurred, and began to sway back and forth.

“This is a pretty fast paced song, though, (Y/N).” Sehun chuckled.

You ignored him, and continued to sway to the music, even beginning to hum a song from the top of your head, causing Sehun to smile. He had never seen you like this, and he found it very amusing.

You slow danced to Kanye West for a while and your eyes were starting to flutter close, your mind too hazy to see anything clearly.

Once the song was over, Sehun started to let go of your waist only to realize you were falling asleep on his shoulder.

“Dammit, (Y/N), why are you like this.” He sighed. He wasn’t sure what to do so he tried to wake you up by nudging your shoulder and repeating your name in your ear.

“That tickles.” You giggled, squirming at the feeling of his breath on your ear.

“Oh thank God you’re awake.” He sighed in relief.

“Hey guys, we’re about to play spin the bottle, you in?” Joy asked, already prepared with an empty bottle in her hand.

“What is this, high school?” Chen commented sarcastically, as he overheard, but Joy just shot him a glare.

“I don’t know…” Sehun started, but you were wide awake again, and tugging on his sleeve.

“Yes! We have to play, Sehunnie! You need to make your first party count!”

“Sehunnie?” Joy laughed. Sehun just shrugged in response.

“Fine, as long as you’re sitting down, because, boy, are you heavy.” Sehun grunted, having you lean on him was getting tiring.

You were sat on the couches again. Surrounding you were Joy, Suho, Chen, Doyoung, and a few others your inebriated mind couldn’t quite remember.

The game started with Joy and she spun the bottle as Chen was complaining.

“I can’t believe we’re playing this. I haven’t played this since I was 15! Who even thought this was a good idea.”

“Oh shut up, will you?” Joy snapped, placing both hands on his face and pecking him on the lips.

Chen’s eyes widened, even more so when he saw the nose of the bottle pointing towards him.

Joy was about to pull away to get back to the game when Chen grabbed the back of her neck and brought her lips back to his.

“Alright guys, first of all, gross. Second of all, let’s move on.” Suho rolled his eyes, and took the bottle and spun it.

A few rounds passed rather uneventfully, at least for you. You thought you were going to lose your mind if you saw one of your friends kissing again. But then again, with your state of mind, who knew how much of the night you were going to remember clearly.

You were losing interest when you suddenly heard your name being called. You looked at the table and registered the bottle pointing at you.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” You smirked.

“Yours truly.” Doyoung winked.

“That’s disgusting.” You protested.

“I know right? Like I would want to kiss you.”

You were both complaining at how disgusting it was, before you finally gave in and pecked him quickly, just to get it over with.

It was the worst mistake you made in your life.

“Gross! It’s like kissing my brother!” You gagged, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand, and Doyoung wasn’t any better off, grimacing and looking like he regretted his entire life.

You thought it couldn’t get any worse, until you realized it was your turn. You spun the bottle and to your horror it landed on Sehun.

Your stomach immediately twisted in that funny way that was now growing familiar to you, and you looked at him sitting next to you. His own eyes were wide as he realized what this meant.

You vaguely heard the others cheering you on, but you could barely hear them over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.

Sehun looked really uncomfortable but he still closed his eyes and leaned in, just as you were doing.  

You were really close to him, closer than you had ever been, and you could feel his breath on your face, when your stomach churned in that way again and your eyes shot open.

“I think I’m going to puke.”

“What?”

Your hand shot to your mouth and you immediately stood up and ran towards the bathroom in the back of the apartment.

Joy was yelling after you and you felt her hand on your shoulder, asking if you were okay.

You were feeling dizzy and sick and vaguely registered Joy yelling at the couple making out in the bathroom to get the fuck out, before leading you to the toilet.

You puked all of the nights drinks and felt absolutely terrible.

“There, there, let it all out.” Joy held back your hair and scrunched her nose at the foul smell filling up the bathroom.

You kind of blanked out what happened next. You continued to puke and you briefly remembered Joy sitting with you until you felt well enough to go back out there.

“You go ahead, I’ll just wash up and join you.” You said, once your mind was finally working right again.

“You sure?” You nodded, gesturing her out. “Alright, alright I’m leaving.”

After washing your face and quickly rinsing your mouth with mouthwash to rid yourself of the lingering vomit taste, you made your way back into the living room, where you found Joy standing there and smiling.

“What are you smiling at?” You asked, standing beside her, and following her line of sight. Sehun was standing amongst Chen, Suho, Doyoung, and Chanyeol, laughing about what was most likely another one of Chan’s tall tales.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Joy started, and you looked away from Sehun to look at your friend. “Sehun is definitely not like I expected him to be.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I expected him to be rude, and judgemental, but he’s just a shy fluffball.”

You grinned at that, and looked back at him, the way he pushed his glasses back up his nose from where they began to slide down, the way his eyes would squint as he laughed, and even though the music was loud, you swore you could still hear the sound of his laughter.

“Honestly, I was surprised when I met him too. But he’s actually nice, and thoughtful, and smart, and sometimes he tries to hide his laughter but it makes him snort in this really cute way. But tonight, he wasn’t like the Sehun I knew. I think I’ve seen a new side to him.”

There it was again - the Sehun you knew.

“He’s really cute, isn’t he?”

You didn’t even think twice before replying. “The absolute cutest.”

It was then that Sehun looked over and caught your eye, a smile immediately forming on his lips as he waved at you.

It was as you saw him walking towards you that it hit you.

Your stomach twisted in that way again, and you realized that maybe it wasn’t due to the beer but something else entirely. Maybe it was due to the boy walking towards you.

It hit you hard and all at once, like a meteor finally colliding with you, the planet earth, and erasing all of your previous thoughts and assumptions just like it had gotten rid of dinosaurs billions of years ago.

You knew that was an absolutely terrible analogy to how you were feeling, but you didn’t care, because your heart was pounding and your palms were sweaty and your throat had suddenly gone dry as you came to one single conclusion.

You had a major crush on Sehun. 

[chelsiealvin-blog]

This week I had the incredible pleasure of interviewing my dear friend Cara. There’s no words to truly describe how big this woman’s heart is. We met about five years ago working together part time in an administrative office and I have been captivated by her warmth and compassion ever since. Cara just has this really strange ability to put everyone and everything before herself no matter what and she always does it with a smile.

I’m really even honored to even know her, so let me tell you a little more about her ♥️

Tell me and the readers a little bit about yourself! 

I’ve been married to my husband Anthony for a year and a half.  We have two little munchkins, Liam who is 21 months and Catherine (Cate) who is 8 weeks.

I work part-time as an ICU nurse at a Level One Trauma Center and love what I do; much like parenthood, even on the most challenging days it’s still rewarding.

When I am not working I spend time exploring the great parks and activities around Orlando with the kiddos. My son Liam is very curious and loves to go on adventures, so this is something we really enjoy doing and thankfully Cate is still small enough to go along with it.

Where are you currently working or what projects are your working on?

Currently I am on maternity leave so I’m lucky enough to be able to focus my time on finding great toddler actives for my son. I often post about our adventures on my Instagram account. If you everwant to see where our adventures take us you can follow along @ Caraboo213

Where do you see yourself in the future? What would be you love to be doing if you had no limits? 

I would really like to go back to school and get my master’s degree to become a Nurse Practitioner. I have been told now is the time to do it before the kids are involved in school activities. That’s going to be my next focus for the future. 

However, if I had no limits or responsibilities I’d spend my time doing nonprofit or volunteer work for a cause that l believe in (probably something baby related) and when not doing that I’d like to spend time at the beach or on the water. 

Who inspired you in your life to choose your career path?

I became a nurse because of my mom. She was a nurse too and it made such a big impact on me. I was always so proud of her. 

I think watching her example made the biggest impact on me. I’ll never forget when I was around 4 we came upon a car accident while out one day and the ambulance had not gotten there yet. A little girl (who was maybe a year or two older than myself at the time) had been thrown through the front window of her parent’s car.This was before the days of booster seats. My mom pulled over and got out to make sure the little girl was okay until help arrived. 

Another time I remember, when I was around 6 we were at a local skating rink (you know back in the dark ages before rollerblades). Someone fell and injured their ankle and my mom again was there to help before the ambulance arrived. 

Seeing my mom helping people made me want to help others too. She was a super hero in my eyes. It was the drive to help others that she taught me at such a young age that made me want to become a nurse too. 

Tell us a funny childhood memory!

It’s funny, but looking back I’m having a hard time coming up with a specific memory. Instead, I keep thinking of all the funny people I’ve known. I have always been really lucky to have amazingly funny friends in my life throughout the years. They made every day funny.

Tell the readers a fun fact about yourself!

The most random fun fact about me is that I can touch my tongue to my nose. I’m probably too proud of this. 

What woman do you look up to the most and why?

I have always looked up to my mom. She’s one of those people who will always be there for you no matter what. The kind that will give you everything even if they have nothing just to make sure you are okay. The kind that will drop anything and everything for someone she loves if they need her. She gives without taking and loves without expecting. I wish more people in the world were like her. I think the world would be a much better, much happier, and a lot kinder place. 

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given and why?

The best advice I’ve ever been given is to let go of the mom guilt and learn to forgive yourself. I think any mom will tell you that mom guilt is real.  There isn’t a mom out there that I know of, who hasn’t experienced it. Some days as parents are better than others and sometimes we just need to cut ourselves some slack. It’s hard for me at times to take this advice to heart, but it’s sanity saving. 

What’s one piece of advice you’d give other women? 

Find your tribe. Whether it’s people at work or other moms, you need to find that tribe. I would not be the woman I am today withouta tribe of amazing women loving and supporting me and picking me up when I need it the most along the way. Having a tribe no matter how big or small means that you have someone in your corner at all times. It’s life changing. 

You recently had your second baby. How excited were you to be expanding your family again? What’s it like to be a mom of two under the age of two?

 So Much Wine!!! I’m kidding. 

I am so excited that Cate is here, but it’s a huge adjustment to go from one to two kids, especially when the first one is still pretty much a baby himself. It’s a balancing act for sure. There’s never a time when someone doesn’t need you or your toddler isn’t trying to climb on top of the sleeping baby chanting, “Baby. Baby. Baby.” over and over again. You need support and an outlet (other than wine). This is where my tribe comes in and I have found that expectations of yourself go out the window.  Dynamics change, stress levels change, but your love for your children never changes. 

(Some pictures of her ADORABLE babies 👶)

Lastly share with me your favortie qoute! 

“Turns out, not where, but who you’re with that really matters.”

Okay, so technically it’s a Dave Matthews band song lyric, but it’s probably one of the truest things I’ve ever heard. It’s making memories with people I love that means the most to me, it doesn’t matter where we are as long as we are together. 

Be sure to follow Cara on all of her adventures on Instagram @ Caraboo213

If you liked this article be sure to check out more inspiraing women by clicking here 😘😘 Thank you all for reading!

A Woman Crush Wednesday Interview with an ICU Nurse & A Full Time Mom This week I had the incredible pleasure of interviewing my dear friend Cara. There’s no words to truly describe how big this woman’s heart is.