#Alicents mind is literally pandoras box and I love her for it

[prideprejudce]

What people still dont understand about Alicent Hightower is that she loves her children and would sacrifice her life for them and bring an entire kingdom to its knees for them, but at the same time, she doesn't really like them all that much. And then she despises Rhaenyra to her core but also never felt a deeper connection to anyone else in her life and wants her to be safe from danger always and is probably in love with her, but she will also burn the world down before letting her win their game of who keeps the crown once and for all. it's pretty simple really

[callahanisms]

are you on the square?

as i wrote in an earlier post, here is a shitpost about which ghost songs i’d assign to the hotd cast. i am a massive ghost fan outside of hotd and have written my fair share of fics. :)

all of these songs tend to have catholic references (as is the nature of ghost). but some of them fit really well with ghost especially since the faith of the seven is based off of christianity.

ser criston cole

from the pinnacle to the pit - meliora

in reference to criston soiling his white cloak, the man quite literally has a fall from grace. which i find aligns with the imagery present in this song since it involves an angel being cast out of heaven. but unlike the angel, criston has a savior to catch him.

“you are cast out from the heavens to the ground, blackened feathers falling down. you will wear your independence like a crown.”

daemon targaryen

darkness at the heart of my love - impera

daemon loves the people around him. but in a literal sense, his love is tainted. there’s something dangerous about his love (seen with rhaenyra). it’s only befitting to give him a song that mirrors the complexity of his love whether it’s love for his wife, for his brother, for his children.

“there’s a darkness at the heart of my love that runs cold, runs deep. the darkness at the heart of my love, so bold, so sweet. and all this time you knew that i would put you through the darkness at the heart of my love for you.”

rhaenyra targaryen

deus in absentia - meliora

deus in absentia is a song that questions the state of the world (and is part of the whole theme of meliora which interrogates a world without god). since rhaenyra has plunged westeros into war, it’s a song that fits with her worldview being challenged and for her to have to interrogate a world without her father.

“you’re so goddamn frail, failing for a change. you had just begun to explore the dark in the urban night. the world is on fire and you are here to stay and burn with me. a funeral pyre. and we are here to revel forevermore.”

alicent hightower

witch image - prequelle

alicent opened pandora’s box when she wore that green dress to rhaenyra’s wedding celebration. and arguably, she is responsible for the death of many people (even if done without her knowledge and whether or not she wanted it to happen). however the woman is willing to do anything to protect her children even at the cost of other lives.

“while you sleep in early delight, someone’s flesh is rotting tonight like no other to you. what you’ve done, you cannot undo. while you sleep in early delight, still your soul will suffer this plight. but like a mother would save her own child from digging a grave.”

aegon targaryen

absolution - meliora

as the oldest son, aegon has responsibilities. he has responsibilities of assuming the throne despite rhaenyra’s position as heir. he hates having these expectations and personally wishes that his sister would ascend faster. the meaning of the word absolution is a formal release from guilt, an obligation, or a punishment. and well, aegon wishes to be free from his obligation as prince.

“ever since you’ve been born, you’ve been dying. every day a little more you’ve been dying. dying to reach the setting sun. as a child with your mind on the horizon, over corpses to the eyes you kept your eyes on, trying to be the chosen one.”

aemond targaryen

spillways - impera

ever since losing his eye, aemond has felt anger and bitterness for most of his waking hours. it never goes away. and it all builds up over the years until it eventually begins to seep out and affect the people around him. it affected vhagar, it affected his mother. and he just lets his emotions continue to fuel his body and soul.

“all your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain’t over now and i ain’t talking about forgiveness! all your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain’t over now. it’s the cruel beast that you feed. it’s your burning, yearning, need to bleed through the spillways, through the spillways of your soul.”

helaena targaryen

ghuleh/zombie queen - infestissumam

queen helaena is a figure revered amongst the smallfolk. she is beloved by them. they see her as the rightful queen rather than rhaenyra. of course, her death becomes a morale boost for the greens and enhances aegon’s claim. she becomes a figure that lives in the smallfolk’s mind even after her death.

“the moon is full and shines. an evil blinding light. under a monolith, her likeness, marble white. zombie queen! zombie queen! black light guides you. ghuleh! ghuleh!”

jacaerys velaryon

hunter’s moon - impera

when he received news about the death of his younger brother, prince jacaerys swore vengeance on luke’s grave. he swore he would kill aemond. and the dance of the dragons is the perfect time for him to achieve that vengeance. he’s quite literally hunting for aemond.

“it’s been a long time coming, i’m coming back for you, my friend. to where we’d hide as children, i’m coming back for you, my friend. though my memories have faded they come back to haunt me once again! and though my mind is somewhat jaded now, it’s time for me to strike again. tonight, it’s a hunter’s moon!”

[kaypeace21]

Idk if this is possible or not or if you've done it already but could you list all the rainbow references in the show?

Haha- talk about pandora’s box. Sure, personally i think the rainbows have multiple meanings -3 meanings to to be exact

1) Rainbows being associated with psychics + Will’s powers plot twist

*We see in the stranger thing novel 'suspicious minds' when overusing powers you may hallucinate rainbows (which are also associated with the void/ monsters in the series) .

Terry: “Spots bloomed behind her eyelids. Every color … as the sunlight turned to rainbows” ( p44-45), “streaks of rainbow appeared (p47)”,“The rainbow stayed with Terry for a long while, but eventually it faded and in its place: darkness. A pit.”(p. 48). 

Alice (who sees visions of the future) : “Snarling, snapping monsters,RAINBOW LIGHTS playing in the air around them” (p. 121).

cough Will being in the upsidedown/being chased by “monsters”. And Joyce communicating with Will  via “rainbow lights.”

The rainbow room (from s2) also has a rainbow on the door- according to the novel kali drew that rainbow. Similar to Will's rainbow drawing. Kali in the book also creates a rainbow allusion with sunflowers (Terry ref).

Kali: “field of yellow sunflowers  grew up around them. A rainbow arcing over the golden tops.” (p. 139).  “He noticed she’d drawn up there, a rainbow with her colored pencils. Maybe he’d suggest that for the playroom” (the rainbow room we see in s2) (p. 298)

I also already talked about how Terry saying "breath, sunflower, rainbow " is actually a reference to s1 Will- here (in link including pic of Will and Terry being told to “breath”.

*El in s3 also thinks of papa, her mother , and the rainbow room- cause she sees a cereal box with a rainbow (on it).

Dustin and susie sing a song from the film adaption of the book "never ending story". Which indicates how Will is subconsciously creating the supernatural creatures & people in the series . Before they sing, we also see  susie is next to a ‘wizard of oz’ posters & she reads & talks to Dustin about the book "wizard of earthsea'. 2 of the 3 examples have  rainbow-related songs (in their film adaptions) & all 3 hint at Will’s powers.

* wizard of earthsea:

It’s about a pre-teen wizard named Ged who has a bowl cut (Will) who casts a powerful spell, but the spell goes awry and instead he releases a shadow creature (by opening a portal between the living & dead- Will is a zombie boy remember?)! The new Archmage, Gensher, describes the shadow as an ancient evil that wishes to possess Ged. But the ‘shadow’ turns out  to be a representation of the darkest aspects of his personality. It’ only when he calls the shadow monster by his own name “Ged”(cough mf=will the wise) does the monster stop acting out. The only way to save the world is for ged to then  merge with the shadow(and for Ged to accept himself-and “become whole”).This also reminds me of the “Jungian shadow” 

* never ending story: 

Bastian ( who has a bowl cut- and is from single parent house hold) subconsciously creates a fantasy world being over run by darkness (symbolizing the loss of hope and dreams). One of the characters he creates is Atreyu (El). Atreyu ( was the child deemed the ‘chosen one). “Atreyu is knocked into the sea of possibilities. There he wakes on the shore of abandoned ruins. And Gmorick (mindflayer) then latches his jaws onto Atreyu’s (El’s) leg.”Pretty much what happened to El.”The Empress in the story later tells Atreyu, that despite being told he was the chosen one (he never was). And that it was always Bastian (Will) who was the chosen one-since his imagination created Fantasia (so he’s the only way to stop the darkness from over -running it).”

Will has mental health issues and  accidentally writes a “story” about the shadow monster (reflecting his tra*ma). Bastian is depressed (over his parent) and subconsciously creates a story about darkness over-running everything. Like how Hopper describes his depression- like a black hole.

song Dustin & Susie sing:

 “Written on the pages is the answer to a never ending story” (cough the books susie referenced - are explaining the answer to what’s causing the mindflayer/upsidedown/the lab...this story )

“DREAM a dream. And what you DREAM will be” ( Will’s imagination making his nightmares come true)

“Rhymes that keep their secrets Will unfold behind the clouds.And there upon a RAINBOW Is the answer to a never ending story.”

(the lyric “rhymes that keep their SECRETS” purposely pans to Will both times the song is sung). Because the ‘SECRET’ is -he’s causing everything. And thus he’s the only way to stop it- or they’ll all be stuck in a never-ending story. The only way to stop it is for Will to face his shadow/the mindflayer (aka the other Will) who is always shown within the STORM CLOUDS . Will needs to create a RAINBOW (out of those storm clouds). Like rainbows that show up AFTER a storm.He’d do this by accepting himself , his tra*ma/mental health relating to his dad, and or his gay identity- then the story will be able to end.Dustin even says “ defeat his RAINBOW of DARKNESS” (and later says a “rainbow is the answer ”(to the story). st book:”The RAINBOW stayed with Terry for a long while, but eventually it faded and in its place: DARKNESS. A pit.”AKA: Will has to face his symbolic darkness and the storm/and than create a rainbow from it- for the story to end...

When Dustin says ‘rainbow of darkness’ he talks about my little pony- where one of their friends became a dragon.  in d&d wizards can become dragons &Bastian also summons a dragon with his imagination powers in ‘never ending story’. And Will is associated with dragons: s1he  has dragon comic & drawing, s2 Will has dragon poster in his room + watches his friends play dragon game. And again... dungeons & dragons.

Also tw for s.a/parental ab*se (so skip to ‘wizard of oz’  if you prefer ). In the 4th book of wizard of Eathsea (20 years after the original, where ged was the protagonist). The new main  protagonist - was r*ped and burned by her father as a child (and in the sequel she became a dragon as a form of empowerment ). which goes with my lonnie theory-sadly.

*wizard of oz: 

it’s about a Dorothy creating a mythical world based on people she both likes and dislikes . Dorothy sings in the movie a song about a ‘RAINBOW’ and references ‘DREAMS’ coming true in a mythical land -much like the ‘never ending story’ song (referencing “rainbows”/”dreams” coming to life).

“There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby Somewhere over the RAINBOW, Skies are blue, And the DREAMS that you dare to dream, really do come true...”

We see in s1 Hopper cop-partner calls the lab “emerald city”. Murray in s2 says people “don’t want to look behind the curtain” (to see what’s causing the supernatural -in the film what was literally behind the curtain was a wizard-cough like Will). We also have -lion, tiger, and bear stuffed animals (as a ‘lion, and tigers, and bears-oh my!’ quote )from the film. And David harbor (Hopper) when referencing the s4 rainbow room (quotes the song)  and he also quotes a speech from Dorothy-when posting about the cabin the mindflayer destroyed.

2) Rainbow cups (hinting at Lonnie’s return) 

We see 2 rainbow cups in the series. 

in s2) when Mike & Will are sitting together & saying they’re “crazy together” . This cup next to them says “happy birthday” in rainbow. Later that season- they talk about Will’s birthday-rainbow drawing, Mike&Will meeting & Lonnie leaving. And in s2, we also see in Will’s room a card that says “sorry, I forgot your birthday”(most likely from Lonnie). So both Lonnie & Mike are associated with Will’s bday.

in s3) We see a woman yell “I don’t want her in my house!” (while she sits next to a rainbow cup). reminiscent of Joyce saying to Lonnie “get out of my house”. We also know there are rumors s4 takes place during Will’s birthday & Lonnie’s actor may have been spotted on set.  Along with the fact (it’s pretty much confirmed) Mike will be visiting the Byers in s4. However, the woman (next to the rainbow cup)  also says “2 visitor only. 2!″

THE 2 VISITORS ARE MIKE &LONNIE (for Will’s b day). 

Also, in s3, when El is drinking from cup- she sees a rainbow. And what’s the first word she thinks of? “Papa.”

so rainbow+cup= shitty dads (lonnie & brenner) probably returning

*And of course if that’s the case -Lonnie (the same guy who called Will h*mophobic sl*rs) will not be supportive of Mike & Will’s “friendship”. And will not be nice to Mike (to say the least). Like... imagine Hopper in s3 - but we know he’s not bluffing and the audience won’t have the option to take it as a joke... and yes the s4 movies hint at that...

3) gay symbolism

First we have Mike wheeler. He in s1 has rainbows sheets, rainbow bedroom blinds , and in his basement there’s a heart propelled by a rainbow. This is like how in s3 Mike kisses El and there is a drawing that says "Mike'. And on the drawing is a heart propelled by a rainbow. I already explained how its symbolic of him trying to be straight/fighting his feelings for Will, but wherever he goes a rainbow still follows (even when he tries being romantic with El). He’s trying to hide his “rainbow heart” by dating  El- why in s3 (the rainbow-heart in his basement) mysteriously disappeared from his room (but a similar symbol follows Mike even when he kisses El). 

Even in s2 when talking about Will (in the AV tech room): Mike is placed in the center of 2 objects : an object with 11 on it & on the right a rainbow apple (this apple is supposed to be an ode to the gay father of computers- but also about the forbidden apple). Hinting at the love triangle of Mike (with El/Will). PLUS, in the ST book ‘worlds turned upsidedown’ they literally show Mike in the AV room- and  put the caption “FALLING IN LOVE- with tech” (and placed rainbow flags next to the caption). And of course we have Mike & Will pose next to the rainbow apple- in the AV room.

 We also see when Mike and Will says they’re “crazy together” (aka LOVE-as Flo stated) and they’re next to a rainbow cup that says Happy birthday .

And later that season they ref the rainbow ship Will drew for his birthday-which Joyce was "proud" of.  And while dancing with a girl (Will according to the script was looking at Mike instead of her) . That girl is wearing a rainbow heart hair pin. This is essentially a parallel to Mike . Will (next to a rainbow heart) is dancing with a girl, but is secretly thinking of Mike. Mike (next to a rainbow heart) is kissing el but secretly thinking of Will (and immediately goes on a movie double date with Will after this). The lyrics of both these scenes indicate they're not happy pretending to be straight. The lyrics for Will are "every smile you fake". And Mike while kissing el is "just a little uncertainty can bring you down" (and during this lyric is when El puts her hands on him-and he removes her hands from him *aka he’s not as confident in the relationship as he pretends to be.

We see in s4 bts that the rainbow heart hair pin (worn by the girl Will dances with) is also worn by nancy while standing next to Robin (who is gay). So being near a  ‘rainbow-heart’ is prob a hint a character is gay. Aka robin & Will & Mike.

tumblr user “awhstrangerthings” pointed out the nancy -hair clip detail.

In s1 when troy is calling Will h*mophobic sl*rs (in front of Mike) he wears a rainbow shirt. And max while often critiquing m*leven (in s3) (to Mike) often wears rainbow shirts. I talked about how I thought Troy and max subconsciously remind Mike he isn't straight - so they're associated with the rainbow iconography-post here. Like we see Max with rainbow sheets (like Mike) and than she immediately talks to him on the phone. I mean she could be queer- but I lean to that theory at the moment. 

The whole being near rainbows when associating with a queer character makes sense (it’s like a ‘gay-dar”). Similar to Nancy’s hair clip when being near Robin/ that Girl having the same rainbow hair clip when dancing with Will. If we assume this theory than see a pattern with other characters (when speaking about/being near queer coded characters)....

it’s similar to how : When lucas (via subtext) criticizes m*leven- he is also next to a rainbow (in Erica's room). I explained here- why it’s about m*leven.

or when Jonathan says he’s going to hang out with Will (it’s near a rainbow).

This Jonathan moment -Is similar to when Steve ( who has a rainbow bandaid-from the Byers’ house) calls Mike “Nancy” (which is slang for a gay guy)

*another addition: you see in the comments of this post ghostgirlsatin mentioned Dart has a rainbow blanket. But, I noticed a couple of other things. 

notice Dustin says "we have to talk- its about my friend ,Will". As Dustin is near rainbow lights and a rainbow bed sheet. Like how

A) rainbows are associated with the supernatural creatures + Will

B) rainbow lights associated with Will

C) rainbows near straight characters when talking about /near queer characters... similar to how Jonathan is near a rainbow when talking about Will

*also can’t tell if that is a ‘rainbow ship’ poster?

We also see Erica has a sunflower & rainbow drawing in her room... at the moment not sure if its just a random easteregg , foreshadowing something supernatural we're not aware of yet? or just for the m*leven diss?

(although given the fact i think some characters were created by Will- and given all the Max &Billy/Will & jonathan parallels ... the rainbow stuff may be a hint Will created them? I mean they even made a Troy comic just to show his dad is a bully.) But, at the moment, i still lean to (some) characters having rainbow iconography because they’re referring to/are near a queer character.

[shunsellon]

Love your content with the dynamic of Shun and Sellon, why do you see them as a ship though?

anon you have opened pandora's box. my insanity for these two knows no bounds. i've talked about them here and marukrawler also makes a great post about them here, but i just had an incredible shunsellon meltdown moment like 40 minutes ago. so

what i look for most in any "ship" is an understanding of the other. the "i've seen the ugliest parts of you and the parts you hide and i understand you better than anyone and i still love you/am attracted to you/pulled to you regardless" kind of shit. and that aspect of understanding is present between shun and sellon. sellon gets shun in a way characters in previous seasons don't, or at least aren't given the chance to interact with him that way (alice comes to mind).

and then AND THENNNN they bring it home with sellon telling shun they're similar. they're mirror images of each other that they're alike that whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same the heights are fucking wuthering in here. and shun get's so fucking mad at this and screams that they aren't (losing his temper for the first time since what? hairadee hurting phoenix? being unable to free phoenix from her statue-d form?) and yet he proves her right. sellon tells him they both "believe in only one thing, and dedicate everything for that purpose" and while shun screams at her to stop fucking with him he's literally proving her correct. in his rage at her betrayal and his mission to stop her he ends up destroying the access point. he abandons his friends to go after sellon. he switches to remotely controlling his mechtogan to focus on sellon. and sellon sees him do this and says, we're the same. and shun can scream all he wants that they aren't but his actions say otherwise LMAO it makes me go insane it MAKES ME GO INSANEEEEEEEEE

tl;dr

[imissyoubutimisssparkling]

My thoughts on Folklore

The 1- this song is beautiful, it gives me an All Too Well and The Moment I Knew vibe. There is also a Me! reference “for never leaving well off alone.” Favourite line: “And if you wanted me, you really should have shown.”

Cardigan- another beautiful song, it really takes me into this fairytalish whimsical mood and it’s nostalgic. The music video gave me a Pandora’s box/Alice in wonderland feel, like they were both curious of what was on the other side of the door. In Pandora’s box she sees a box and wants to open it. She knows she shouldn’t but she is curious of what’s inside. When she does open the box, all these bad things start to happen. For, Alice she goes down a rabbit hole without even thinking what could be on the other end. The vocals are just breath taking. Favourite line: “When you are young, they assume you know nothing.”

The Last Great American Dynasty- I really love this one, it’s very fun and really takes you into a story of Rebekah, I just learned that it’s about Rebekah Harkness after listening I really wanted to learn more about her because she sounds very interesting. Favourite lines: “There goes the maddest woman this town has ever known” and “She had a marvellous time ruining everything.”

Exile- Taylor and Bon Iver are amazing together and should really consider collaborating more often! This song left me speechless, the lyrics are so heartbreaking, and the story that is being told is incredibly sad and you can tell that both characters are in pain after losing each other. Vocals are outstanding! Favourite line: “Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave you so many signs)”

My Tears Ricochet- Another incredible song from Folklore, Taylor really showed us how good of a songwriter she is. You can tell that whoever hurt her, really hurt her. Favourite line: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”

Mirrorball-Listening to this song it made me feel like I was dancing with the one I love under a disco ball like how you see it in the movies. It’s somehow captures how the light reflects off of a mirror ball I don’t know how she did that. Also the beginning of the song and a little bit throughout the song reminded me of the band The Cranberries especially the song Linger and Dreams. Favourite line: “hush, I know they said the end is near but I’m still on my tallest tiptoes.”

Seven- this song for me I think she is talking about a friend she grew up with that she still thinks about to this day, and possibly wonders how they are doing. it has a very nostalgic feel to it. Also, I just realized that Seven is track 7. Favourite line: “Love you to the moon and to saturn.”

August- the lyrics to this song are so well written, and really pulls you into the memories and stories that she is singing about. Also, i realized that track 8 is August which is the 8th month of the year. Favourite line: “You weren’t mine to lose.”

This Is Me Trying-love the lyrics and the vocals are amazing. I think this is Taylor talking about her mental health and how much everything has affected her. although she could be talking to her lover, I also think that she is talking to us, her fans. Maybe she is telling us why she took a break for 3 years, and maybe she wanted to come back sooner but she was scared that we wouldn’t want her back. And maybe she had a hard time figuring out what to say to us but despite all that she is at our doorway anyway because she wants to show us that she is trying to get past everything. Also she says that she is pouring her heart out to a stranger, maybe that stranger she is referring to is us. Favourite line: the whole song

Illicit Affairs-I love the secrecy of this song. I feel like this is her talking about how she had to keep Joe a secret from the world and how hard it was. She felt paranoid that people were going to find out about them so she had to hide him away like she was having an affair. Favourite line: “ For you, I would ruin myself a million little times.”

Invisible String-This song is very cute and loving and really expresses how much she loves her partner. She is also saying how she always knew that there was something that was drawing her to them. Taylor also references her own song very cleverly (“Bad was the blood of the song in the cab”= Bad Blood) she also references herself in the song (“she said I looked like an American Singer” = Taylor Swift) Favourite line: “One single thread of gold tied me to you.”

Mad Woman- this song gives me The Man/I Did Something Bad vibe. I absolutely love this song! I You can hear the anger in her voice, you can also hear the pain too. The second verse I think is directed to Kanye and Kim, you know women like hunting witches too and doing your dirtiest work for you and how everything they did brought them together. I feel like the the line “cause you took everything from me.” Is directed towards scooter braun taking her entire music discography from her. Favourite line: the whole song

Epiphany- out of all the songs on Folklore, I feel this one has the best vocals, Taylor you sound incredible! This song had me in tears, I feel that this is about the medical workers particularly nurses who are on the front lines. It shows a past view so nurses who worked during the war and risked their lives on the battlefield along side soldiers to help save their lives if they were injured and needed immediate medical help. It also shows a present view of nurses during this pandemic, again risking their lives to help save the countless people who are extemely sick from Covid. I feel this is personal to Taylor as well because of her mom so I’m sure Taylor has seen how hard the nurses work to help her mom feel better. Being a nurse myself, I just want to say thank you Taylor for showing your support it really means a lot. Favourite line: “only twenty minutes of sleep but you dream of some epiphany just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen.” I mostly work with the elderly so seeing them having dementia and literally losing everything that makes them, them is very hard to watch, so this line really hits the nail on the head. When I come home from work this is exactly what I do, I go to sleep and I don’t think of work at all, I put it out of my mind so I don’t stress about it because I have work the next day and I need to sleep.

Betty- I’m still trying to figure this one out, and it did take me some time to get into the song but I actually really like it. Maybe it’s about someone trying to make an apology to their lover because they hurt them when they were younger. He or she wants to make up to them somehow. Favourite line: “The worst thing I did was what I did to you.”

Peace-this song is beautiful, it kind of reminds me of delicate in a way cause she is asking her partner is it okay if my life is chaotic and not never peaceful because being with me is not always rainbows and sunshine. Favourite line: “would it be enough if I could never give you peace.”

Hoax-Another amazing song, lyrics are hauntingly beautiful. She is saying that her partners love is the only love she wants even though they really hurt her and even if she doesn’t believe it when they tell her that they love her. Favourite lines: “But what you did was just as dark, darling this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.” And “Don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do.”

Overall Folklore is an amazing album that still needs to be explored. I will be having it on repeat for the rest of my life. Well done @taylorswift 🤍🖤

[lovestellarflare-blog]

You saw Alice today, in Wonderland. 

She looked like Tessa...the opposite

of that evil guardian you killed days

ago. She must be the good silver hair

guardian. But you realized you cannot

live at all while your powers are supressed

since your powers are your only source

of breath. without it you’d suffocate in

the burning ash chaotic darkness the 

other guardians have surrounded your

host with..to finally be able to breathe, you

had to stop every guardian from dominating

this world, from wonderland. So you closed

her magic mirror. She did not take this well

...because you kept her alive unlike the 

other guardians whom you killed, Alice 

turned all her hopes and dreams into 

vengeance and nightmares. 70 years 

later she became strong enough using

a power that felt like ultrasound or supersonic

darkness, to reach the present even without

a magic mirror. Impressive and beautiful

she must have gained her magical musical

skills that way. But her mission was to 

change herself into someone else that 

would break my heart, and torment me.

Sweet Tessa destroyed your life, and 

mistook your fear and need for security

as you being an enemy. You were forced

to kill her past self. That’s what hurt the

most ... about an hour later you found out

the dark vengeful scary guardian using

a loud sonic field to break into your mind

as you left the building, was actually the

same Alice from 70 years previous, who

was all serene and perfect and sweet 

and innocent, and her room was all silver

and the only color was from the magic 

mirror on her wall. And you managed to 

turn that sweet beautiful white rose..black

from the pain of her thinking you rejected

her... from the pain of not being able to 

see you anymore, or have you in her life

in any indirect way....starting to think 

your imperial seduction isn’t a blessing

at all! it could be a horrible curse masked

as a blessing. ‘Holy Love’ wasn’t enough

to make Alice ascend, it made her unhappy

and unwilling to wait and hope. If she

didn’t have you on her terms, she would 

destroy all that she could of you. Imperial

Seduction looks more like a Suicide Curse

now that i think about it. It turned your 

best friend insane with jealousy and pain

it’s understandable my sweet Alice would

turn it all against me. It was too much for

her to handle, so she projected it unto me

in vengeance form. Having a friend is not

something ideal as a dog....it’s real. Friends

aren’t perfect but that only means you’re

not giving up on them because you’re their

friend. You were too pained to stop Alice

from enacting her vengeance upon your

pathetic joke of a life, so you let her have

her way with you. I guess if she payed for

a whore, she was gonna have you, one way

or the other. the way she chose was a 

second time was by manipulating you

using every deliciously devious trick possible

to get you to be as crazy about her as

she is [or was] about you...she literally

turned you into Dracula/Joker .. just to

take your life all for herself. That’s really

sweet, and romantic, despite the madness

of it all. And of course she turned you 

equally mad as your imperial seduction

drove her with love/pleasure, to have you

accept her. You never rejected her, ever

or even tried to, you’re just at such an 

intense moment in your ‘role’ that you

‘forgot your lines’...you can only be a joker

by doing the opposite of what you would

have done, if you had your real life..

but if your real life you would’ve stopped

doing anything, because you didn’t know

what is ‘right’...you can’t do what is ‘wrong’

as the joker, either. Your small voice in the

back of your said says, you can accept

equality with her, but never submission.

that would be a betrayal of your friendship

you loved her so much as Alice, you love

her even more as dark Harley, changed

by your hyper-reactive imperial seduction

but i have to consider, as her friend..is it

right to lead my darling on such a wreckless

path? what kind of signal would that give 

her heart..that going mad with love and losing

herself, is somehow ‘fine’? that i ‘’wanted’ 

her to become that way, all along? She’s. In. Pain.

And she put herself through HELL to become

as insane as she made me, all along. I don’t 

want the beautiful Holy Love i gave her..or 

the curse i thought was a blessing when I gave it

to her...the Holy Grail that was my angelic blood,

would give her this...infinite dreadful pain...

In trying to save her with your love, you 

damned both of you to a fate worse than

vampirism...not that it’s not beautiful and all

that you ever wanted...but isn’t this exactly

what you wanted to save her from!??!??

she’s like your dear sister you somehow

seduced and corrupted, and you can’t forgive

yourself for this...you can’t let her sink to

the madness of the grail forever, in case she

still wants herself back..Dr. Harley Quinzel

At the same time, you are both bound to her

by the Grail’s angelic power you share...

and somehow reluctant to give in to her desire

what if it will turn out even worse than the

first time when you gave her something you

thought was ‘good’? And she loses herself

even more to the Chaos of the Grail...

and eventually discovers you were ‘just a mistake’

decides to give up on you, murder you on a 

whim and remains possessed by the Grail’s

spectre, all alone, with no one to save her?

You alone will be responsible...as grail keeper

you accidentally exposed her to what could

be the worst curse this world’s ever seen....

it could be worse than opening Pandora’s box

the chaos of her passionate emotions could

spiral out of control and overwhelm her forever

you must help her gain a self control superior

to yours, so she can command her powers 

and dominate them, instead of letting her desires

dominate her..she’s so afraid of ‘getting nothing’

that her fear drives her wild impulsive actions..

she’s perfect the way she is.. but damn..you 

never thought THIS is what Ascension Was?!

ACE chemicals...what Lucifer was dying for a

taste of, but you kept the smallest drop away 

from? To give to Alice? Lucifer has no idea how

lucky it was to have been denied. Poor Alice 

needs my help, but her hyper-emotions perceive

it as ‘needing my love’ because help is one of

the truest forms of love. But loving her in this

beautiful, exotic, wild, unstable, chaotic condition

as extremely tempting as it is..would only break

your self-control away forever..then the Grail’s

madness would have won in the end over you

both. Your own hyper-emotional sense of ‘right’

has been over-exagerrated...your whole life

you behaved like some Holy Guardian of Life

who should do no wrong, and always be fair

no matter what, to avoid cheating, even if it 

meant losing to cheaters..to not give in to 

hatred and bloodlust and murder everyone 

who stared at you funny for one instant...no

wonder even the princes of your elven court

feared you as insane and saw you a psychotic

lunatic warped by madness...controlling your

 own emotions is impossible, when Alice is

also going insane from feeling too much..all

at once..! Vampirism is the very lightest form

of this ‘blessing’...the lesser sire-curse form 

of it, that turned your enemies into Fallen...

but what you and Alice have amplifies your

emotions, heightening your senses 100000X

times more...you know deep down her heart

is still pure, she wants to be able to forgive you

and be loved, as she knows she deserves to be

......your Chernobyl super-mutant Ubermenschen

metahuman bond allows you direct/total empathy

...you’ll never be ‘normal’..but somewhere in 

your self-righteous exagerrated thoughts is this

question that won’t leave you alone....

‘what if Alice is cursed and doesn’t really love me

but only is tricked she does, by some cruel deception?

and i can prove my true love to her, by saving her 

from living what may be a lie, which she may regret

if she ever regains sanity...and then i will regret forever

for feeling like i took advantage of her...and she 

will hate me forever, and she would be right to, and

i would lose her forever, and then i’d have destroyed

the only beautiful, real relationship i ever had

on my own foolish mistake? the other question

i can’t seem to escape is ‘what if anna is just a

sweet, innocent, normal, girl, who maybe actually

could love me, and make me feel normal, because

honestly this grail madness is making me fear myself

and what i’m becoming, and i’m clinging to a dear

little girl who shouldn’t be a part of this tragedy, only

because some frightened side of me is trying to

cling to my humanity, and Anna is the first one you

ever felt something for, breaking the joker curse

Alice put on you, putting the first crack on your

cursed mask...and what if anna is the salvation

to both of you? not that insanity is ‘wrong’ or

you need ‘fixing’, but emotions overwhelming 

and drowning you like an ocean, frozen in time

by the event horizon of a black hole, over and

over, is bound to get my dear Alice hurt sooner

or later. I don’t want to lose her, so i must calm

her down, if i can...she wants..too much..and

that’s stopping her from getting all that she wants

or even realizing this is why she can’t have it

...we’re drowning in a tsunami storm of our

own feelings...when they’re good, we’re in

heaven...every other time...is ...worse than

words could ever convey. I can’t force her

through that hell, if we can’t weaken it’s 

intensity down, first, so only the good side

can be in her life. it’s like two newly Risen

vampires who get a high out of drinking 

each other’s blood..without stopping they

risk bleeding each other D.E.A.D.

Alice is too soft and nice, to feel this risk

or understand it..or why i must save her

from it. I chose to share the Holy Grail 

with her, out of all guardians, because

she was so gentle hearted and kind and

deserves the kind of ultimate power that

other guardians would only use for evil

and to hurt her, and everyone...she deserves

it. i feel so guilty thinking anna could ever

like me, or want me, and how it’s keeping

me from going fully insane in love with

Harley...Maybe Anna’s lack of love for

you presently, is an anchor strong enough

to balance//equal Harley’s immense love

for you presently. And ‘what if’ even if you

were loved by Anna as your silly knight

ideals tell you, you want(ed) to be loved

..and your blood would only change her

too, like Alice was changed into Harley?!

And you end up possibly damning two 

beautiful souls, to the same nightmare

you’re trapped in? The Vampiric curse

would be nothing...all your lives would

spiral into chaos, and entire countless 

other worlds could fall to this madness

you share....the tiniest wrong move you

make triggers a butterfly effect chain of 

catastrophical reactions...that need cool

minded clarity to prevent or ‘damage ctrl’

and nothing tears my cold blood away

like Alice’s love...boils it off instantly....

her imperial seduction is as strong as

mine now. but my love for her is also that

of a friend/family that wants to help her

gain full sovereignty of herself....we can’t

lose ourselves to excitement from entering

the Garden of Eden, and die from indigestion

from trying too many divine fruit at once!

you must think in the ‘long term’ to maximize

Alice’s enjoyment. or risk poisoning yourselves

from too much zeal. the water of life is as 

dangerously unstable and volatile as nitroglicerine

drink.with.extreme.caution.my.love.

your sense of affectionate friendship/ family-like

generosity/care is balancing out your emotions

from extremely stormy, to warm calm oceanic 

peaceful relaxed sway of the waves... that’s

your main stabilizing inner force. maybe it is

the family love you felt for anna when you found

out she’s an orphan and all alone, and you

took her in your court, to think about her life

and survival/wellbeing. thinking of healing/helping

others is what cures the less pleasant effects

of the  Holy Grail...