#Alice is sweetheart I will not make him suffer anymore

[jvnebugflac]

okay okay i need to talk about this because no one else will really get it. Let Me Carve Your Way from Guilty Gear Strive fits Alan Wake and his story SO damn well it's insane i haven't seen someone else talk about this. so here's my explanation.

the first connection i drew was the lyric "vanish into dark" which is obvious there. alan going into the dark place.

"drowned in pain i lost my mind, there's no good or bad in there" alan suffering in the dark place, trapped in a spiraling hell.

"it is hopelessness filled by the light" a glimmer of hope? light is the way to defeat the dark presence.

"abyss of desire, abyss of dreams. is it farther than the edge of the world? and then after that, will the dream still go on?" describing the dark place? it's the best connection i can make.

"i once had some sweet memories. it's worth remains all the same. how can i remember those moments sweetheart?" alan remembering life before the dark place, and alice.

"if there's a man who can make anything, give me the tools to live in the past" alan's desire to escape the dark place or maybe write a story about him and alice?

"it's all gone down so deep i can't see anymore if that's not the way to go" alan continuing to spiral and loop further and further down

"let me, let me, let me carve your way. i'm a shadow always with you." the second lyric that i made a connection to AW with, this refers to scratch and how he is a part of alan.

anyways thanks for reading my little rant

[xatsperesso]

For being fair, except Clara and Azz, all his students tried to put a invocation spells on Iruma and have bet about the pact being renewed or canceled. Considering how much times Iruma has been unable to say no before summoning Kalego...

I can understand that he wants this humiliation to be over. It was not nice for him. Even if he should have asked for Iruma's opinion, indeed.

And I loved how Kalego was considerate of Iruma's feeling when Iruma shared his fair to lose him as familiar. He acknowledge this fair, didn't reject it and rassure Iruma. He has even told him a very personal thing about himself and his magic (about Cerberus). It shows a big level of trust. We can see say that it shows that he has some affection for his student. (he's totally Iruma's father figure)

Since following this mini arc, Kalego isn't mad anymore when Iruma calls him, he just way "why did you call me?" very calmy during the heart breaker arc. He's just angry when Iruma say "it was to neutralize you" but it seems to be a lesson since he says "i can't hurt YOU but nothing stop him to attack the others so what are you going to do?"

Conclusion: Iruma and Kalego, during this 13 hours arc showed consideration and trust toward each other, and it was adorable to read.

Yeah, it was very humiliating to kalego, and it must have been very tough especially since it's affected how the students view him.

And it is very nice seeing kalego trusting iruma like that, since it would've been very easy to see it as iruma purposely humiliating him, and not iruma was taken advantage of due to his kind nature.

So in my eyes, the fact that kalego looked past every reason he had to dislike iruma (the first day, his family, the familiar situation, every goddamn thing kalego was dragged into in the one year he'd known iruma for) and saw iruma for what he is, a boy who's too kind for his own good, an anomaly of a demon who defies every expectation, is honestly amazing. It is a testament to the fact that he's a great teacher who would put the students first no matter what

Even from the start. He disliked iruma very much, and then he became his familiar making him dislike iruma even more, but that never stopped him from putting iruma first. He'd agreed to participate in bonding activities between students and familiars so that iruma wouldn't fail the class. That's a good teacher right there

Now, they've gotten adorably close. Now kalego is way calmer whenever iruma summons him

Like look at this! Iruma was expecting to get yelled at, but kalego is very calmly asking him why he was summoned.

After the 13-hours, he was only summoned once and it's in this chapter, so im gonna be gushing over every interaction in it cause look at this!

He looks so confused it's adorable. And if was before they talked about the familiar situation, kalego wouldn't have just sat there and negotiated with iruma. He would've made iruma suffer

But now he's just sitting there tiredly, going along with his son's student's antics for so that he would 'grow' you just want to see him happy

As for the misfits, this was a damn opportunity. Having their very ruthless teacher who will double their hw at a whim being iruma's familiar is just too gold to let go of.

Oh you just doubled our hw? Well now you're a fluffy bird. Take that!

It's just funny, and it's hard for children to remember that adults are people, especially if these adults are as petty ruthless as their teacher.

Also alice was the one who was the most serious out of the misfits. He didn't even care about kalego at all he just wanted his iruma back

.

.

.

And this has nothing to do with the post but it is the cutest thing I've seen and I feel like more people should talk about

And it's exact opposite that chilled me to the bone

Like kirio, sweetheart, you'll never scare me as much as that guy did

[menaso]

Whump of July 2021.

Day 1: Stabbed.

Fandom: criminologist Himura and mystery writer Arisugawa.

Characters: Himura, Alice (yes it's a guy name)

Warning: blood.

The criminal's face twisted with panic.

Beautiful.

The closer he moves, the closer his goal seems to be.

Soon the criminal's neck will be between his hands. Unlike those stupid amateur, Himura knows how to break a neck, fast and clean.

The sensation felt real, the crack of the bones, the warmth of the skin, and the last breath.

How wonderful that can be?

Sooner. Closer.

"Himura," Alice shouted. Something was off. He felt that he missed something, which was unlike him.

Facing him wasn’t the criminal, but Alice's pained, greaves expressions.

"Idiot" he yelled, gripping his grey coat "Himura you fool"

As the rush of intespation evabrated, Himura came to realize the scene unfolding in front of him.

Not far away, two police officers held the criminal down as he struggled, his face red with the effort shouting incoherently.

Bewildered, he mattered the first thing that came to his mind.

"Alice!"

"Arisugawa-sensei" his voice was entangled with Ono’s.

Coming back to his senses, Himura saw a knife stained with blood scattered on the ground, his eyes widening.

"Finally you're back" said Alice softly in relief as he searched Himura's face tentatively "don't you ever do that again, moron" he didn't smile as he would usually do, his face filled with emotions that difficult to describe, he even looked as if he about to cry, but then his eyes scrunched, face twisting with pain, he leaned closer.

Ono was behind him, eyes full of shock.

"Call the ambulance," Inspector Nabeshima shouted as he ran toward them.

At this Himura pulled Alice closer, his mind rushing, fear growing in him, fears that were answered by a rupture and darkness, yawning into Alice's favorite brown jacket.

"Alice" he murmured in disbelief, spontaneously slowing Alice collapsing. Both on their knees Himura warped his arms around the writer, pressing the wound with both hands. Alice rested his chin on Himura's left shoulder.

People rushed around them but Himura couldn't hear anything over his hammering heart. Alice in his arms relaxing, he wrapped his arms around His waist, planting his fingers on his back.

“I told you never show the police that face, moron,” Alice whispered. There was an edge to his voice that pulled the strings of Himura’s heart and threw him back to Alice’s apartment. To the rainy night after they discover the third victim of the (night prowler), the rush of the excitement in his blood and the intespation, and Alice watchful eyes behind his overgrown bangs.

“never show the police that face” he warned.

“Ah” Himura assured. He was good at hiding his blood lust for years. Was he overconfident?

“Sorry” he whispered, his voice sounded small and foreign.

"Don't apologise, how unlike you" Himura could sense a smile in his voice. He pulled him closer.

“Alice,” he called.

Perhaps this is an illusion, a new format of his usual dreams and he eventually will wake up just like every night and there will be no trace of blood in his hands.

But Alice’s blood was too warm, too real, oozing stubbornly between his fingers.

Someone handed him a towel, Yasuda-San perhaps, and he immediately pressed it over the wound, tension sat in his stomach like a stone.

Yasuda-San sat at his side asking Alice how he was feeling.

"It doesn't hurt as I thought it would," Alice murmured.

"It's the adrenaline, Sensei,” said the older man.

Alice chuckled and started talking about using this experience in his next novel or something like that, Yasuda-San monitoring him and laughing at something he said. Ono scolded them nervously and the inspector tried to calm her down.

“No worry Komachi, I'm tougher than I appear to be,” Alice joked. And she sighed “you better to be”

Himura knows, Alice tends to joke and be talkative than usual when he is nervous or afraid. Like when they held an investigation on their own, walking in a dark forest or abandoned building, he would keep talking about some theories, discussing other similar cases, then at the slightest noise he would jump in fright and clutches Himura's coat, as he now clung on to him.

Himura felt nauseous as the towel turned dark red, he knew the best action was to lay Alice down and press the wound as hard as he could, but he had no heart to do so, not when Alice was clinging on to his coat like a lifeline.

"Himura, do you remember.."

"no Sensei," Himura immediately cut him off "we are not going there"

Alice chuckled "you're right, no rising any death flags" his jock served to punch The criminologist’s heart.

"but, you know," he continues, voice growing concernedly weaker "it's the first time we been this close for this long"

He was right. Himura couldn't recall an event when they were clinging together for this long, but that doesn't mean they never were close, fourteen years of friendship blurred the border of their personal space. Alice, although friendly and social, was too considerate to initiate a touch. While he took every opportunity to pat the shorter man's head, and hold him every time he became emotionally involved in a case -which happened more often-.

If you want to, we can be close for as long as you like.

He wanted to say, but this could be considered a death flag as well, so Himura kept it for himself.

Alice groaned "I'm taking back my words" he murmured as he tightened his grip "it's hurt like hell."

"Hold on Sensei," someone said, Yasuda-San or maybe Nabeshima-San? "the ambulance is on its way"

Alice's head slumped to the side of Himura's face, and Himura wished that his cold skin was due to October's wind.

Alice's soft silky hair brushed against his cheek, and its scent solved the mystery disappearances of his shampoo. On other occasions he will interrogate the writer until he speaks the truth, but right now he really doesn't care even if he stole all of his belongings.

Alice graw quieter, and his grip became looser.

"Alice, stay awake" Himura was surprised by how shaky his voice.

"Don't ask for impossibles" Alice whispered, an involuntary groan escaped his clenched teeth.

Alice's voice, Alice's warm blood between his hands was sickening. He didn't have a memory of himself crying, not even when he was a child, but now, a lump grows in his throat, hard to swallow. He felt guilt welling up in his chest.

It’s ridiculous to feel guilty, he knows, and if Alice knew he would mock him mercilessly “Old age smoothed your sharp edges Sensei” he would say. Quickly, Himura choked the emotion, he will never give Alice this chance.

“Alice-chan” Yasuda-san called “stay with us”

Alice hummed a weak reply, then pressed his forehead on Himura’s shoulder. He was trembling.

The air felt thin and something heavy was bearing down on his chest, something unbearably suffocating.

What if, drifted across his mind, like a dark mist.

“Himura” Alice’s voice was mournful and Himura wanted him to stop.

“Forgive me”

He felt his very soul split into two. He hated that he could hear the rest of the sentence.

Forgive me if I’m no longer able to watch over you.

“Don’t be overdramatic Sensei” he pressed Alice against him.

It’s becoming hard to breathe.

“Don’t make it hard for me to fulfil my promise”

I’ll never put you in danger, never again.

What an empty promise.

He felt the other nodding in his shoulder and nuzzling closer. Himura leaned gently against him taking in the dilute scent of his shampoo, everything around them seemed to fall into utter silence.

[malereader-inserts]

Count On Us

Fandom: Twilight Pairing: Cullen family & Son!Brother!Reader Summary: When you’re on your knees, your family is quick to pull you up - because you shouldn’t face this all by yourself Word Count:  1591 Request: Could you make a cullen family x male reader where the reader goes through a tough break up so everyone decides to devise different plans on how to make him feel better

“Did you hear?” The Cullens perked their ears up, always loving drama with these mundane humans, they hadn’t been in school for a week since there was sun out but you, their human brother had been in all week.

They hadn’t seen anything abnormal from you, you didn’t seem like you were struggling about your homework or any of your subjects, nor have the teachers been giving you stick about anything so your siblings thought nothing of it.

“Oh yeah, (Y/n) Cullen?” Another giggled, trying to keep their conversation to themselves, “Heard he got into a messy breakup, they apparently-”

Just as they were about to reveal to the Cullens why your significant other, rather your ex now, had broken up with you. You had interrupted them as you slam the door shut before glaring at the group of girls huddling.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than talk about my love life?” You seethed, Jasper had to hold your shoulders from attacking because you were radiating such anger that Jasper was concerned because he didn’t know you could produce so much feeling. 

“Sorry-” They muttered as they walked into the school as you rolled your eyes.

Snatching yourself away from Jasper’s hold and stomping away to your locker. Rosalie was taken aback with your attitude on how you were muttering incoherent words that your siblings cannot pick any words. 

“I didn’t see anything,” Alice shrugged her shoulders as they looked over to Edward, who also looked confused before shrugging his shoulders as well.

“I can’t read anything from him.” Bella came up to them, smiling at Edward, but wasn’t expecting a question from him, “Bella, what happened to (Y/N)?”

“Oh?” Bella started, tensing up awkwardly, “He got broken up, public too, Monday’s lunch at the cafeteria. They went hysterical, they were shouting before announcing they were cheating on him.”

“That little bitch-!” Rosalie seethed, to think she had liked your ex a lot too.

“Not to mention, when he got explosive - which I don’t blame him, she threw her smoothie which she had made just for that lunch,” Bella explained, scratching the back of her neck, “I would have thought he would told you but I guess he’s taking it harder than he gives out. Then again, Mike did hear him cry a bit in the boys’ toilet.”

“Well, he’s good at hiding his thoughts and feelings,” Emmett commented as Jasper and Edward was visibly uncomfortable as they weren’t able to detect you.

They waited till lunch to come around, despite being in some of their lessons, you made no effort to talk to your siblings. Jasper could feel sadness and anger radiate from you, but it was the sadness that threw him off. He would expected you to feel anger, betrayal and perhaps even annoyance but sadness was something he did not expect. Edward was unsettled that your mind was just blank, you weren’t thinking at all, not even in your maths lesson shared with him. 

As lunch came around, you hadn’t appeared. Bella was with the Cullens as Erik ran up to their table.

“Hey did you hear?” Eric asked, momentarily forgetting the Cullens were there as he talked to Bella, “Apparently, (Y/n) is getting done for slashing his ex’s car’s tires.”

“But, he’s a sweetheart, he wouldn’t ever do that, not even if he’s pissed off,” Bella says, confused.

“Yeah, I know! His ex is gone psycho against him and he’s done nothing wrong - I heard he walked back home. He packed his bag half way through third period and left, missing forth and obviously lunch.”

And so, the group of siblings decided enough was enough, they couldn’t let you suffer alone.

When the group of vampires arrive home, the house was still. Cold and very much not lived in. Nothing of the sort had seemed to be moved, as if you hadn’t returned home. The only indication of you being home that put them at ease was your shoes in the garage and your poorly put away jacket lying about before entering the house.

Rosalie went to find you, after all, she knows what it’s like to be cheated and frankly despite her horrid attitude towards Bella, she has a high emotional intelligence without powers. So, she had found you in your room, and you were under your duvet. She could hear your heart beat, she had let her shoulders relax as she sees you shifted underneath. She sits on the bed and pats you.

“(Y/n)?” She asked softly, whilst she was getting you up, Alice had informed Esme - who had returned home at the same time - of your situation, “Esme is cooking you dinner, wanna peak out for me?”

She knew you hated being treated a child, so it was the quickest way for you to emerge. You pulled the duvet down, eyes very much red and you had a little sniffle but there was a glare within your stare.

“Not a child,” You muttered.

“You alright?” Rosalie asked, placing a comforting hand upon your shoulder, “We heard about your ex and-”

“It’s stupid,” You interrupted, waving her off.

She kept a firm hand on you, “You know you’re not alone, and it’s your first relationship. I don’t expect you, I mean, we don’t expect you to be fine. It’s okay to be upset.”

You sighed, sitting up and looked at her with teary eyes, “I guess,” there was a pause to your words as you tried to not break down and cry, “Why didn’t they want me? Was I not good enough for them?”

“Aw, sweetie...” Rose knew what you felt, the cheating makes you think you were never good enough. She held you tight in her embrace as you let out small sobs.

You’ll never trust again, building trust would be hard for you and it was because of your ex. You didn’t deserve this, the family says, you don’t deserve to feel like you weren’t worthy of love and question what had gone wrong during your relationship. It was unfair and unjust. 

“You’re always good enough, don’t let them dictate what you feel and what you are. You are always worthy of love, you had never done anything wrong. You were the good one,” Rosalie firmly spoke, as you look in her eyes, “Okay? You hear me?”

You nodded meekly as Esme calls you down. Rose gives you a kiss upon your temple as you rubbed your tears away before darting down the stairs to the kitchen. Esme makes your favourite food for tea, you smiled weakly as she ruffles your hair. Kisses your head, and gives you a tight hug. She doesn’t need to mention the elephant in the room, you were thankful. 

Your mother talks, how brilliant her son is. How you’ve done so well in classes and your extra curriculum. She does anything to talk about you, positively, stop you from thinking you’re anything but that. As you finished your food, she sweeps away your plate and shoves you dessert, giving you eyes saying just this once. 

As you eat your dessert happily, Emmett pulls you outside to play some baseball. Your brothers, Jasper and Edward laugh as you protest. But, the three of them only do it just to keep your mind busy, away from your heartbreak. 

They had heard you cry, utter the words of doubt and refuse to let you feel that again. Jasper tries to teach you how he does the bat trick, but you had failed miserably and hit yourself more than you liked. 

Emmett was pitching, and yet, every time you manage to hit the ball. It went either went straight to Emmett’s mitt or to Edward, who reassures you with more practice you’ll get better. The baseball game only stopped them Emmett accidentally let go off the ball too early, resulting to Alice saving you from getting smacked in the head with a concussion as she catches the ball, inches away from your shocked face.

“I think that’ll be enough, thank you!” Alice calls, throwing the ball to Emmett and pulling you indoors.

You wave away from your brothers, who snicker at Emmett. Alice brings you into your room, calling for an intervention for your wardrobe to be cleaned out. Despite your complains you help her, you throw away the clothes you didn’t want nor fitted in anymore - Alice threw some that wasn’t in your fashion sense either. You spent an hour or so, cleaning and dancing about in your room. 

Carlisle came home, Esme welcomed him and told him about your unfortunate breakup. Carlisle’s heart broke but was fixed when Esme had filled in the fact that your siblings were there to pick you up. So, when you were released from Alice’s grasp, you hid in your father’s office.

He laughs as you tuck yourself in the corner, a book in your lap, just wanting a few minutes to breath ad some peace and quiet.

“How are you feeling?” Carlisle asked, ruffling your hair and kissing your head, “Feeling better I presume?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, smiling brightly up at your dad, “I really do.”

“Well, you can always count on us, you don’t have to be alone.” Carlisle reminded you as you nodded, the sincerity written all over your face.

“I know, and I’m thankful for that.”

You love your siblings, and you never have to doubt their love for you. Because when you’re at your weakest, they’re always there to pick you right back up.

[sou-ver-2-0]

First off, your shin analysis’ are AMAZING i can’t get over them and just your writing in general is so good,,you’re such a big inspiration,,,second, Shin for 25 pretty please <3

Thank you thank you!! I'm glad that I can inspire you, and I hope you'll keep writing too!

25) What other people wish they could change about them

I already answered 25 here, where I wrote about what Sara, Kanna, Keiji, and Original Sou would change about Shin. I picked those four because I think they have the most compelling relationships with him. Honestly, I'm proud of that answer, and I hope you enjoy it! 

I was going to leave things at that, and simply promise to keep writing Shin meta... But then I thought, why not keep going? After all, there are a lot more characters in YTTD and I love them all! So without further ado, let me take a crack at what everyone else wishes they could change about Shin:

Joe: Joe, our friendliest boy, says before his death that he can't see anyone in the group as a "bad guy," "not even Sou or Alice." So I'm sure that Joe would love to see Shin start making good choices instead of mean ones! Something to prove him right! Most of all, he'd want Shin to stop hurting his best friend Sara. And maybe actually help Sara instead? Since Joe loved Sara, but he can't speak to her anymore, now when Sara needs him most...

Q-taro: Q-Taro, who suffered through the distinction of being used by Shin, probably wishes that Shin would stop treating people like objects and start treating them like people. Q-Taro has to learn this lesson himself in the story! The experience of being used by Shin must have helped to soften Q-Taro's heart towards the other vulnerable characters; he realized he wasn't so different from them. So even though Q-Taro might harbor some resentment towards Shin, I think he would still be sympathetic and believe in Shin's capacity for change.

Reko: Reko just wants to punch Sou SMACK in the nose! Maybe it won't change anything, but it would make her feel better! 

Haha okay but seriously, Reko has a harsh but ultimately forgiving personality. She would have wanted to help Shin heal, just like she secretly wanted to help her brother heal. So long as he apologizes, I bet Reko would've been a good friend to Shin, just like she's a good friend to Sara! She'd have been kind to a redemptive Shin, without putting up with any of his bullshit. And she'd definitely fix whatever loser taste in music he has.

Alice: Surprisingly, Alice is the party member with the most patience for Shin's antics! He's often willing to give Shin the benefit of the doubt. He even distrusted Sara in the beginning, much like Shin. It's not like they're close allies, but Alice's patience for Shin was always striking to me. Personally, I think Alice intuitively understood that Shin was an underdog while Sara was somehow privileged. As a prisoner, it's natural for him to connect to the most disadvantaged. 

Alice would wish for nothing more than for Shin to atone. And he'd probably help him do it, right by his side.

Nao: I bet Nao mostly wants Shin to stop acting so scary, since she's easily frightened. But I think she definitely believes that he can change for the better. Nao begins to believe in Shin in Chapter 2, when they team up and develop a cunning plan to defeat the Rogue Mishima AI. Given that Shin's personality before the Death Game seemed kind and timid, it's likely that Nao and Shin would have things in common! Nao would wish to know that side of him better.

Gin: Like Nao, Gin wishes the Loner would stop scaring everyone! Even though Gin says that he hates Shin, Gin is also a good kid who doesn't want any harm to come to the man. If Shin stopped lying and started acting kind, Gin would probably still tease him, but I bet he'd also be affectionate of him. Gin is immature but still friendly and a big sweetheart.  

Kai: Oh Kai, the poor victim of Shin's scheme to draw out the Sage for slaughter! At the end of his life, Kai is terrified of Shin. He calls him a "dangerous man" and asks that everyone vote for Shin instead of himself. It's hard for me to imagine what specific things Kai would want to change about Shin, when what he really wanted was to switch places with him. Kai desperately wished to be only the second-highest vote-getter, rather than the first...

What if they somehow met under better circumstances? (Such as in Nankidai's ongoing summer festival comic, where Kai is protective of Shin!) Well, Kai is a lonely, secretive man himself, so he could relate to Shin's struggle. He'd probably wish Shin well in figuring out how to open his heart to others, while acknowledging that it's a hard thing to do.

Mishima: LET'S DO PUSH-UPS, SHIN! LET'S TRAIN HOW TO RUN FOR A MARATHON TOGETHER! COME ON, IT'LL BE FUN!

Sue Miley: Sue Miley already finds Mr. Zero Percent's antics to be incredibly entertaining, just the way he is! Please keep insisting you're Sou, won't you? Maybe it will help you survive! Who can say??

Gashu Satou: Gashu wishes someone would take his son's laptop away from that meddling brat. His hacking is just going to make everything more difficult, isn't it? And then Gashu's going to have to clean up the mess himself, isn't he? Isn't he?! It's not like Sue Miley is going to bother helping him! Nooo, Gashu has to do everything himself around here...

Tia Safalin: Tia Safalin sees how much Sou is suffering in the wake of Kanna's death, and she wishes she could take away his pain. She could take all those awful memories away from him. Only the bad memories, you understand. He'd forget using Kanna, forget hurting Kanna, forget the unbearable agony of losing Kanna, but the good memories would remain! She would fix Sou so he could finally be happy. Isn't that what you all want for him?

Rio Ranger: The stinky human needs a bath.

[booksalwaysandforever]

Holding on to the Memories Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in any future chapters and I will make it happen. Also, I am always open to requests for other stories and ideas for future chapters.

Summary: Lauren’s life was a perfect dream, until one day it wasn’t. Cutting can distract you from life, but it can also take life away. Can Lauren get back home, or has it all been taken away from her?

I myself have been suffering from depression lately and have almost began cutting. If you struggle with this too, know that, if you have no one else to turn to, I will always be here to try and help. No one should have to resort to cutting or suicide. You are too valuable. I hope you can find someone to help before it’s too late.

Warnings: Blood, very sad and will make you cry.

Length: About 1,400 words, considerably shorter than the first chapter

“She’s bleeding out. Carlisle, we need to do something! We can’t just wait here for the ambulance!” A voice said, pulling me out of the darkness. It sounded like Rosalie. Someone answered with a soft, worried voice. I couldn’t make out what they said, nor could I tell who was talking. I didn’t open my eyes. I wanted to go back to the darkness. The dark was quiet, peaceful. Here, it was loud, and bright, and very painful. My legs burned like they were on fire and my head was throbbing. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Lauren, please come back to me, please princess.” 

Jasper. That voice belonged to Jasper. He sounded like he was in pain. I felt the darkness trying to consume me again, but this time I fought it. I had to let my big brother know how sorry I was for making him feel this pain. I pulled my eyes open and looked around. I was still laying on the bathroom floor, in a pool of my own blood. Esme and Jasper were with me, Jasper sitting right next to me, running his hand through my hair, while Esme sat on the edge of the bathtub above us. Her eyes were closed and it looked like she was praying. She was making weird choking sounds, which meant she was crying. The rest of my siblings were in the hallway, talking to Carlisle. Why were we still here? Shouldn’t they have taken me to the hospital by now? Jasper had noticed that my eyes were open so he moved closer to me. 

“Lauren! Thank god. You’ll be okay, we’re all here for you. It’s all okay. You’ll be okay,” he assured me, as he continued running his hand through my hair. Everyone stopped talking and came to the door frame to see me. Esme dropped to her knees beside me, right into the blood. Edward spoke up. 

“An ambulance is coming for you Lauren. You’ve lost so much blood, we can’t move you unless we have an ambulance to keep you stable. Otherwise we risk losing you,” Edward said, answering my question. I was glad for the answer, but I was getting sleepy again. Maybe if I closed my eyes for just a second....

“Lauren” Carlisle said desperately as my eyes began to close, “please stay awake, at least until the ambulance gets here. Please.” My eyes snapped open and I tried to nod. I looked over at Esme, who looked like she was sobbing. 

“Mom,” I whispered as I started crying. Everything hurt and I wanted it all to stop. I just wanted to fall asleep in her arms and never wake up.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’ll be okay. We’ll make sure you’re okay, I promise.” She whispered into my hair. I turned my head slightly to look at Jasper. He looked like he was in so much pain. Wait a minute, he really was. He could feel all my pain as though it was his. I fought as hard as I could to stay conscious. 

“Jaz,” I whimpered. “I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore, the darkness was too strong. As the darkness pulled me in, I swore I heard the sound of sirens in the distance. 

Once again, my world was dark. No pain, no sound, no nothing. All of the sudden, in the distance, there was a light. The light grew brighter and brighter as it grew closer. Two people were standing there, waiting to greet me.

One was a woman, the same height as me, with shoulder length, brown hair just like me, and bright blue eyes. The other was a man, several inches taller that both of us, with shortly cropped black hair and sparkling brown eyes like mine. Both were wearing white and were smiling at me. 

“Mom, Dad?” I recognized them from the image Renesmee had shown me a few years ago, when I wanted to know everything I could about my real parents. 

“Hi dear,” my mother answered. “You’ve grown up so much since the last time we saw you. Well, the last time you saw us.”

“Well, it has been 15 and a half years. I..am...what’s….”

“No, you’re not dead Lauren,” she said in response to my unsaid question, “Not yet anyways.” 

“Not yet?’

“Here, let me show you.” She locked arms with me and walked with me to a scene a few feet away. Some paramedics were loading a stretcher into the back of an ambulance. One of the paramedics walked straight through me. 

“Are we ghosts?” I asked.

“Well, technically speaking, yes.”

“Technically speaking? So technically we aren’t? What are we then?”

My mother smiled a tight, thin lipped smile. “You will find out someday. For now, watch the scene. Who is that person they are working on?” 

I walked closer to the stretcher in the back of the ambulance. It was difficult to see who it was through the oxygen mask on their face, but after a moment I realized that that person was, “Me.”

“Pulse is lowering,” one of the paramedics called. “We need to get her to the hospital NOW!”

The back of the ambulance door slammed in my face and the vehicle took off down the road.

“My, my heart is stopping,” I stuttered. My mother's face was becoming clearer and clearer.

“Yes, dear. You aren’t dead, but you are dying. And you will die if you don’t choose to fight.”

“Fight?”

“Yes, fight. Fight the light, stay in the darkness. And when you’ve fought the light, fight the darkness. Fight to go back home to your family,” she said as she motioned to my family, standing not far from where the ambulance stood a moment ago. 

Everyone looked like they would be crying if they could. Esme was curled into Carlisle’s chest, making the worst choking noises I had ever heard. She was bawling. Carlisle had an arm around her and was telling her that everything would be alright, but he looked very worried. Alice stood frozen in place, trying to see my future, but failing. Emmett was sitting on the ground, being held by Rosalie. Neither of them was “crying” but they looked like they could be. Bella was hugging Renesmee, and was bawling like Esme. Renesmee had a blank face, as though she couldn’t believe everything that had happened. Jacob was nowhere to be seen, but at that moment, a piercing howl was heard from the woods nearby. Of course, Jacob could always handle things better when he was in his wolf form. Several more followed and I knew the entire wolf pack was with him, crying for me. The worst person to see was Jasper. I had never seen my brother cry before, but he was. He was on his knees, bawling just like Esme and Bella. My big brother was the strongest person out there. He didn’t break down like this, he kept going. Even when Maria had used him, he stayed strong. But even the strong have their limits and can fall. This was my brother’s breaking point. I had meant to save him from my pain, and did, except for the fact that I had caused him more of his own pain. More than he could handle.

Suddenly, Edward spoke. “Lauren, I can’t read your mind anymore, but I know you’re here.”

I whipped around and sure enough, there was Edward, right beside me, looking straight at me. Everyone looked at Edward like he was crazy before he spoke again.

“Please, listen to your mother Lauren. Fight. Fight to live. Fight to be with us. Life is hard, I know it. But myself, all of us,” he motioned to the rest of the family. “We can help you. Please, Lauren, Fight. Fight for life, fight for us. We need you.”

“Lauren,” my mom turned to me. “Your brother is right. You need to fight for your family. Stay with them. Your father and I will be right here, right beside you, watching over you. No matter what happens, we’ll be here. We love you.”

“But, what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not strong enough to fight the light?”

“Then we’ll be right here for you with open arms. But please, at least try. You never know if you don’t try.”

“I love you Mom. I won’t forget you guys.”

“We love you too,” my dad said, appearing beside Mom. “Now go, fight.”

The scene began fading until it was dark and all I could see was my parents, standing in front of me. “Goodbye,” I whispered as my world went dark yet again. I would fight. No matter what, I would fight to go home to my family. 

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

His Love

Jasper x Human! Reader

Warning - Mentions of blood, angst

Summary -In your final moments Jasper must decide if he’ll turn you or not

Her first thoughts in her last moments was of him. How he'd be able to handle her death, how she could convince him it wasn't his fault. There was no way he could have gotten there faster. No way he could have stopped it. 

His first that was in shambles of pure terror at the thought of losing his lover. As he kneeled beside her bloody figure he could feel the burning sensation in his eyes. The venom mocking his tears he stopped shedding long ago. If he could cry he knew he'd be sobbing. The sight of his manga led love before him was something he couldn't bear. He wanted revenge to tear apart the attacker. He wanted them to feel 1000 levels of fear and heartbreak just as he is right now.

Suddenly all she could think of how they first met. Two moves after Forks lead the Cullens to rainy Portland. It felt nice for them to be on west coast again. And as for Y/n well she had only been there for a bit to attend the college. The two met at the university in a Astronomy class they both shared. He sat beside her and she gushed about how she loved the stars at night. Hearing her speak made Jasper realise that she was the one. He needed her. 6 dates later he confessed his secret of what he is. She wasn't as shocked as he would have imagined. Her mother apparently was a practicing witch that filled her mind with stories of all sorts of creatures. So when she heard the impossible words they somehow made sense. Her eyes trailed over his face noticing his eyes shifting between the gold and black. He was suffering and she could tell. Watching her bleed out fuelled his vampiric thoughts of devouring her.

"It's going to be alright love," he says more convincing himself then her. He pulls her into his arms. With the action he took notice of the blood mixing with the puddles of pouring rain around them. Her blood was spilling at an alarming rate. He could feel his stomach turn in disgust at his own inner thoughts of bloodlust. All that mattered to him was her and the terror in her mind at the though of dying.

She knew she wanted so many things from life. Hence why she was waiting to be turned. She wanted to travel the world and have a family. To live her life for herself and her love. But as she bleeds her future slowly melts away.

The vampire is presented with two options. Turn her and live the rest of his eternity with her but knowing he made her a monster, or let her die in peace and lose her. It was an impossible choice. He didn't want her to suffer as he did. He wanted her to live the life she wanted. However the thought of losing her was something he didn't want to imagine.

"Jasper do you remember the night we got engaged?" She asks weakly. Her mind no longer on the prospect of dying. She's decided she wants to focus on him. Her final moments with him.

He couldn't believe how calm she was with the words? Even straining to speak she seemed so beautiful and collected. But with her urging he allowed himself to revisit the memory. The young couple took longer to get to marriage then Edward and Bella. Dating a total of five years before even getting engaged. Unlike Bella the thought of ageing didn't scare Y/n and the volutri weren't on their case. Meaning they were free to take their time. Something both are grateful for. "It was Venice," Jasper says, "I was so nervous. You had on that blue dress you love. You looked absolute stunning." Her face turns into a smile. "I stumbled over every word. And I didn't know you were going to propose to me to."

Her mind wanders to the night. She thinks of the cool breezing shifting her dress as they walk through the city. The weight of the ring in her pocket as she practiced her lines for how to broach the subject with her lover. In the end Jasper made the first move but with Y/n seconds behind him. They both laughed at how in synch they were. The story would be told a hundred times and every time it got better.

He can't enjoy the memory anymore. Her shallow breaths keep him here with her instead of in the memories. He can feel her pain. All of it. She wants to scream he can tell. Yet she's staying composed for him. Why would she do that? As her eyes met his he knows she doesn't have much time left. He has to make a decision. She raises her hand cupping his cheek.

"The sun is setting on us," She says softly, "it's a shame. I had so much more I wanted to do with you."

"It's doesn't have to," he says desperately, "I can just try just let me."

However she knew it would be to late. She thinks for a moment. Her final words to him shouldn't be arguing.

"I love you," She says. It's airy. A struggle for her to get out.

"I can- I can handle it please just let me try," he whimpers. She doesn't respond. "Darlin?" He watches waiting for her lungs to raise in another struggle of a breath. But it doesn't. She stays completely still. In his own pain he lost the connection to hers. He moves sinking his teeth into her wrists hoping for her to suddenly open her eyes. Tell him it all will be fine. He pulls back looking over her lifeless form. He was too late. Dry sobs escape him as he feels the weight of her death. Pain fills his senses. How would he be able to move on? He was supposed to give her everything she wanted in life but he lead to her death. Just his association was another to call for her execution. He cant do anything. He just stays by her side holding onto her. Watching as the blood moves with the water. He combs through her hair as he sobs. She used to love when he would play with her hair. He wishes he would have done it more. Told her he loved her more. When did he last say I love you to her? Hours ago. And he'd never be able to say it again. He doesn't get an after life with her. Vampires don't go to heaven or hell they just stop existing. Who would she see in the afterlife? Her father? An old boyfriend? Would she wait for him into eternity? Waiting for someone she'd never see? Jasper decide that was the most depressing fate for his lover. He'd rather her spirit rest easy. Then again he couldn't know if there's was an after life for humans either. He hoped there was. The thought of this being the absolute end for her was too much.

It wasn't long before the rest of the Cullens finally arrived.

"Jasper!" Alice yells as she runs towards them. She's worried. All she sees is Y/n in his arms covered in blood. She thought the worst first. He wouldn't hurt her would he?

"Jasper is she..?" Bella asks trailing off as the family stops before him.

"She'll rest easy," Edward says breaking the news to the rest of the family. Carlisle moves to his adopted sons side trying to comfort him.

"You did all you could," Carlisle says. Emmet takes the body from Jasper. Various words of comfort and support fold Jasper but he can't handle it. In a split second he runs away from the family making a point to make his leave dramatic. He cant think clearly. All his mind is telling him is to get out of this place he shared with her. Don't do anything that would remind him of her. He wants to grieve. He wants to kill. He doesn't know what he wants.

Alice back at the site assures the family that he'll be fine. Sadly she looks at the girl she considered family. "We should tell her mother," Alice says to them, "she deserves to know."

"A funeral," Bella says, "we need to have a funeral."

"Right," Esme says as she clings to her husband. It's a solemn time in the group.

The attack made its way all the way to the news. People in the town knew the sweethearts. So when the news dropped that Y/n had passed the entire town seemed to want to check on the boy. But he still hadn't returned. The family made sure to keep tabs. To keep him updated to know about the funeral. At funeral day he still was nowhere to be seen.

Her mother stroked her late daughters hair. The large black casket and stone cold body made it all real.

"She had so much more to give," her mother says sadly. She looks to the Cullen's smiling sadly. "I'm sure you guys did all you could to save my baby."

Despite the truth in the words the family couldn't help but feel guilty. They could have found a way to do more. To prevent it. To make sure she wasn't caught alone.

"I can't believe it," Rose whispers to herself, "I thought she would have turned."

"I know," Emmet says as he tightens his grip around his wife, "I've just been waiting for her to open her eyes. To do something."

"How's Jasper handling it?" Her mother asks. The Cullen's exchange a knowing look.

"He ran off the night it happen," Esme says breaking the news, "he hasn't been back since."

"Don't speak so soon," Edward says as his eyes go to the door. In walks a stone faced Jasper. He doesn't look at anyone. He just moves to the casket. As he reaches the body his eyes stay on her. The family waits for a reaction. But he stays expressionless. He just looked like his normal pained self. Everyone stays silent backing up to give him his space. Suddenly he reaches cupping her check.

"She wanted to go to Pairs," He says with a shaky voice, "she was taking French lessons. Making French food. Anything to hint that she wanted to go. I bought the tickets and had everything booked." He stops talking. A sob escapes his lips. "I love her so much." Alice places a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "I don't want this to be real." Everyone is quiet. All sharing the same opinion. It shouldn't be real. They didn't deserve this. Both had such hard lives and even in the end she can't get a happy ending. "She used her last breath to tell me she loved me."

"I'm glad she had you," Her mother says to Jasper. His eyes met hers. Her and her daughter had the same ones. It was hard to see them.

"I let her die-"

"No you made her happy," She says to him, "before she met you I was worried about her. She had nothing that made her happy anymore. Then all the sudden I get a call from her about some boy she met in class. She talked about you for hours. She really did love you." He drags his thumb across her cheek. "You did her well."

He looks down to the girl laying still. He hopes he did her well. He would make sure to not remember her like this. But to think about the day they met and their engagement. When the spark of life in her lit up a room. He'd remember how she demanded a rooms attention with her bright smile. How she'd trip over nothing. Her angelic laugh. How when they fought she'd pout. Her perfect body. Her soft snores. How she'd make him enjoy the small things in life he lost in his hundreds of years. He'd remember her. He'd love her until the end of his life. Their love was a tragedy and he would do anything to have just a second of it back.

[megalony]

Weird situation- Part 6

Another part of my Ben Hardy series which I hope everyone is enjoying so far.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Half of the words that rambled from (Y/n)'s lips were incoherent to Ben as she seemed to mutter, scream and whisper them all at a mile a minute. Few words here and there registered in his mind but his ears couldn't fathom what she was trying to say when she broke off in sobs halfway through. (Y/n) either didn't care or didn't notice that he wasn't responding to whatever she had said, only giving responses back that attempted to calm her down rather than about what she had said.

The most that Ben could work out from her ramblings was that she was far from happy and muttering her sister's name in her drowsy state with a tone he had never heard her use before.

(Y/n) didn't want to do this anymore.

She wanted no part in this, this was not what she had signed up for and she wanted it to stop. (Y/n) didn't want the horrid emotions and uncomfortable feelings she had been hit with over the past few months, she didn't want to be having Ivy's baby anymore and she didn't want to be in labour.

The worst part of it all was that she couldn't find it in herself to care about the fate of her niece. (Y/n) was hurt and going through immense agony too early, this wasn't meant to happen for at least another month but she found herself caring for her own health and safety over that of the baby now being brought into the world. Her mind either didn't care or couldn't properly comprehend that her niece was either not going to survive this or was going to be needing a lot of care. She couldn't find one ounce of herself that was able to care about the life of her niece. Knowing the baby may not survive didn't make her feel worse at all. She didn't want to be pregnant anymore and labour was giving her that wish at a price she was more than willing to pay right now.

Ben couldn't find out how he was meant to breathe the moment the midwife told them both that the baby was born. His mind dismissed the thought of asking anything about the newborn as his eyes darted to the girl currently leaning against him.

He watched (Y/n) press her head into the crook of his neck, all mumblings and rambles stopping like a record that had been turned off. Her hand tightened around his own as she tried to push herself further into his chest as if wanting to disappear. Ben obliged, wrapping his arms around her a little firmer whilst pressing his lips to the top of her head.

Glancing his eyes to the midwife sitting at the end of the bed, Ben watched her move to grab a needle and a bottle of some kind of medication from the tray in the corner. His nerves beginning to go haywire as (Y/n) shuddered against him, a groan escaping her lips as her eyes snapped shut. Her mind was turning numb to the point all she wanted to do was sleep but the sudden discomfort and bolts of pain in her lower abdomen were making that very hard. She couldn't hear whatever the midwife was saying but it couldn't have been good as Ben seemed to stiffen, his arms trembling as they tightened around her.

"Part of the placenta hasn't come away, we're giving her some medication to start more contractions to try and deliver it." The midwife stated when she noticed the look of both confusion and horror in Ben's eyes as he wondered what she was doing. His head barely nodding before he cringed at seeing the needle puncture through (Y/n)'s skin into her stomach.

If the placenta stayed in the womb it could cause bleeding or infection and was potentially life-threatening. The easiest way to try and deal with this was to make the womb have more contractions to deliver the remaining part but if this didn't work (Y/n) would have to have it surgically removed. In her current state that wouldn't be the best option. It had been just less than four hours since her water broke and in that time she had gone through a minor haemorrhage which had caused the baby to become distressed. (Y/n) seemed to shut down the longer labour had gone on until the point where she looked ready to pass out.

"I wanna go home." (Y/n) whispered the words slowly and so quietly that Ben almost didn't hear them. A shiver ran down his spine when she nuzzled her face into his neck, begging for him to take her home. She wanted to wake up and find out this was all some kind of horrible dream. She wanted to wake up at home with Ben in a different situation.

"I know sweetheart, we'll go home soon."

(Y/n)'s body leaned forward just a little as she grimaced, moaning in pain at the sudden contraction which at least was a lot duller than the ones she had suffered before.

(Y/n) felt herself beginning to shake but she wasn't cold, quite the opposite. The pain seemed to increase like a dagger had punctured through her skin before suddenly disappearing as if time had been reversed. Everything seemed to tingle like her blood was fizzling in her veins. When she tried to look at Ben, his name drawling from her lips, her vision blurred before her eyes fell closed from how heavy her eyelids had suddenly become.

Ben's eyes widened and flooded with tears when (Y/n)'s head fell into the crook of his neck, her body falling limp against him like she had suddenly been put into a coma. Reaching out he rested a shaking hand to her cheek, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone as he tried to bring her back around.

The actor felt like he had been given ecstasy as his mind and body seemed to be put into overdrive. His eyes fluttered around the room to try and see what was happening. Landing on the expanse of blood coating the bedsheets and the midwife's hands before his ears heard the heartbeat monitor becoming frantic for attention. His eyes moving to see that (Y/n)'s heartbeat was dropping below sixty.

He couldn't quite work out what he was doing or what was happening around him as one of the nurses helped him lay (Y/n) down on her back before nudging Ben so he took the hint and stood up. Nor could he work out that she was guiding him to the door until he was evicted from the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Roger's eyes fluttered from looking over his daughter to looking to his ex who was perched on the end of the bed. Her hand running up and down (Y/n)'s arm like a feather gliding over her skin, both parents sharing a look without the need for words. The pair of them had always gotten along fine after they decided to break apart and this was one of those moments where Roger was thankful that they had remained friends. Or else this wouldn't have been as easy as it was to just sit with one another and comfort one of their children.

Moving his hand, Roger continued to gently card his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair, moving the strands so they weren't going to fall over her features as she slept.

The nurse had seen that there was a lot of them in the waiting room to know about (Y/n)'s condition and had therefore advised them to go and sit with her one or two at a time instead of crowding in. There had been Roger and Sarina, Ben, (Y/n)'s mother, Ivy and Darren and then her other sister and two brothers there as well. Both Rufus and Felix had already been in to sit with her for a while, Ben was trying to grasp some sleep since he had been with her throughout labour and a while afterwards. Sarina had gone in with Ivy for a while before Ivy and Darren drifted down to the neonatal unit to see their daughter. Her other sister had dipped into the room for a while too.

Now Roger and (Y/n)'s mother were staying with her for a while, Sarina was with Ben outside and both her brothers and sister had gone home for the night.

It hadn't sunk in until now that Roger could have lost his youngest child. When Ben told them all what happened Roger couldn't quite believe it until he walked in and saw her. When he saw the oxygen tube under her nose, the IV drips and then the blood transfusion punctured into her veins. When he watched the heartbeat monitor showing she was stable but clearly unwell, her skin wasn't a healthy colour either. (Y/n) had been close to cardiac arrest when Ben was evicted from the room but they had managed to stabilise her heart.

A small smile pulled at Roger's lips when (Y/n) weakly opened her eyes again, trying to focus on him properly as she was drowsy from the painkillers swarming through her blood. She had been unconscious for a few hours but was now beginning to come back around again.

"You feeling alright sweetheart?" Roger questioned, his tone gentle as his voice was quiet as not to break the atmosphere around them.

"Hmm... is Ben here?" (Y/n) could barely pass the words through her lips which was almost as hard as trying to keep her eyes open to look at Roger. Watching his eyes crease at the corners as he smiled and nodded. She knew she had heard his voice but she couldn't be sure if she had dreamt it, if it was his voice when she had passed out or when she was drowsily coming back around again.

"He's sleeping at the moment honey, but Sarina and Ivy are still here. I think they've gone down to see the baby, she's small but-" Alice cut herself off when (Y/n) suddenly groaned at the words, her head pressing into the pillow as she curled up on her side. Her eyes falling closed as she didn't want to hear anything about the newborn that had caused all of this mess. If (Y/n) hadn't of had her niece she wouldn't have almost died hours ago. She wouldn't have felt awful these past few months nor have been subjected to the torture that she went through today.

"Don't care, t-this is her fault." Although she didn't say a lot it was clear that there was venom in her words. (Y/n) was in this mess because of her niece, she had been the one to be born early and cause (Y/n) to get complications. She hadn't agreed to go through all of that for her sister and niece and it wasn't fair.

Both Alice and Roger looked at one another in fear. They both doubted that the medication was making (Y/n) talk like this, it was genuinely what she thought and that posed problems. If she felt like this towards her niece she was likely not to want to see or know about her and she had gotten pregnant for Ivy. This could mean that she wouldn't want to see her sister either because she was the reason (Y/n) had gotten into this situation that had gone every way it wasn't supposed to.

"Don't leave, dad." (Y/n) leaned into his hand that was still carding through her hair. Her mind beginning to shut down again from the overwhelming fatigue that was rattling through her. She didn't want to be alone, she wanted Roger to sit by her for a while longer and be there again when she woke up.

"I won't sweetheart. I'll stay here with you."

[shestillhasherquill]

At the Heart of Darkness (9/11)

Hello, hello! I almost forgot that today was Thursday - I started at a new job! Anyway, you don't care. Thank you for your continued interest in this fic. I love reading your tags. I appreciate all the support!!

Thank you Mods of @captainswanbigbang​ for being chill about a lot of stuff and for being so freaking organised.

@sambethe​ was so great throughout. Thank you, for the banner and the artwork for chapter 2 and chapter 5. And for being a third set of eyes on this fic! @downeystarkjr​ I still can't get over how great your videos are, both the teaser and the longer one. Please go to their tumblrs and check their hard work out!!

@accio-ambition​, thank you for being so sweet and for finding the time to edit this despite how busy you were. Ily.

Also, special mention to @peglegsjones whose portrayal of the Dark One in her fic Alone, until I get home inspired me and the way I chose to write the Darkness.

omg we're almost at the end!!!!

Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.

Rating: M

Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel (Please heed the Gothel warning, ugh God, she sucks)

Prologue: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 2: tumblrao3ff.net | Chapter 3: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 4: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 5: tumblr ao3ff.net | Chapter 6: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 7: tumblr ao3 ff.net

Current Chapter: ao3 ff.net

Chapter 8: Don’t bother writing (I’m gone)

Present Day: Enchanted Forest

“What did Emma tell you again?” Killian asked, taking leaping steps just to keep pace with his daughter’s rapid steps.

“That the Dagger was with an old friend. There is only one person Mama would give it  to,” Alice replied, trying to hurry as much as she could.

“Someone she trusted the most?” Killian guessed. But as far as he knew, Emma hardly trusted anybody, let alone enough to entrust his dagger to them.

“Nu-uh, that would be the first person anyone would torture. She gave it to Ariel, Queen of the Water Realms. She can travel between the realms anytime she wanted, and could make a quick getaway.”

Killian knew Ariel; they had been something like friends at some point, despite the animosity between pirates and mermaids. “Ah. She’s a nice lass. How are you going to contact her though?” he asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Alice huffed, stopping in her tracks, pulling a seashell necklace from around her neck. “Using this. I have already sent her message via shell. She should be waiting for us, we must hurry. Now, stop asking questions and follow me!”

Killian frowned, a reprimand ready on his tongue. But he realised with a pang that she was not a little girl anymore; she had been right to take that tone. Emma and Alice had a plan in place and he needed to respect that she knew what she was doing. They had only a small lead, with Gothel being occupied with Emma. She would come after them soon if she realised that they had the Dagger. So far, the only person Gothel thought knew about the Dagger was in her custody. And they had to maintain the ruse for as long as they could.

It took them a few hours, but Alice and Killian finally managed to break through the treeline and onto the short beach. Alice looked around frantically, vibrating on the spot like she was ready to explode. Killian might not know much about this version of his daughter, but her anxiety was not anything new.

“Starfish, Ariel will be here. It will be fine,” he said in a soothing, slow tone, grabbing Alice softly by the shoulders and making her look at him. “Deep breaths, sweetheart. That’s it, just concentrate on your breathing.” He did the breathing exercise along with her, until he felt she had calmed down enough.

Alice sighed, rubbing at her forehead. “Why would Mama do that?!” she exclaimed. “I never should have let her.”

Killian chuckled, despite the situation they were in. “Love, I’ve come to realise that once your mother has set her mind on something, it is neigh on impossible to change her mind. Besides, in her place, I would have done the same thing.” He let out a long breath, his hand and hook resting on his hips. “That does not mean I condone what she did.”

“That’s exactly what you did. Actually, what you did was a million times worse.” Alice’s tone might have been matter-of-fact, but her words hit him in the gut. He had had the chance to apologise to Emma, but he hardly even said goodbye to his little girl before he left her.

“Starfish, I’m so sorry. I-” But Alice held up her hand to half him mid-sentence.

“It’s alright, Papa. I mean, it’s not alright, but it is for now. We will have time for apologies and regret after we get rid of the Darkness and save Mama.”

“That is exactly what your mother said.” He was in awe of the young woman in front of him, and he owed it all to Emma. She was the one who had raised Alice into a smart, brilliant young woman. He couldn’t have done a better job; there would always be a part of him that loathed himself for missing out on the chance to be a good father. And unwittingly, he had lost that chance again because of what had happened with Charles.

He was saved from the dark direction his thoughts were taking by Ariel’s timely arrival. His joy was short lived, though, because the moment he stepped closer to Ariel, the voices in his head grew louder, the Darkness calling out to him, telling him to take his Dagger and run away. To protect himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, staying rooted in place and watched as Alice greeted the mermaid and exchanged pleasantries that he was too far away to hear, and too consumed by the sudden urge to hunt Gothel down.

He lost track of how long he had stood in one place, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to block his ears against the assault of the Darkness. He realised that he had been in control for so long because the Dagger was in another realm. It was a hundred times harder now to quell the voices in his head. He was forced out of his catatonic state by Alice dumping a bucket of cold water over his head. He started at her, dripping with salt water as she stood above him, panting slightly and the now empty bucket still held aloft.

“Th-ank you,” he sputtered out, pushing his hair from his face, and standing up properly. “I apologise, Starfish. I don’t know what got over me.”

Alice nodded, dropping the bucket next to him and taking a seat. She patted the spot next to her, but he could still hear the dull echoes of the Dagger and chose to stand instead. “Was it the Darkness?” she asked softly.

He hesitated to answer her for a very long time, but finally relented, letting out a giant sigh. “Aye.”

“It’s the Dagger.” It was more of statement than a question, and Killian was unsure what he could reply to that. Alice nodded to herself, staring at the horizon for a long time, both of them in somewhat comfortable silence.

“D’you know I hate magic?” she asked, but he had a feeling it was rhetorical, and allowed her to talk. “I do. Magic is what trapped me in that tower, magic is what took you away from me. Magic is what caused Emma and I so much pain in our lives. I could never understand why Mama loved it so much, even after all that had happened. She even wanted me to learn, harness my own magic. But she always understood. She even stopped using magic for me. She’s- She my mother in every single way. Not just in the way that counts. I actively reject Gothel as my mother.” The last part was said with such vehemence, so completely different from the tone she had adopted for the rest that it startled Killian.

He finally took a seat next to Alice, while still maintaining enough distance from the Dagger. “Darling, I realise that I have not been the best father. I know that Emma has made sure that you do not have to suffer the same fate as we both did as children. You are right, she truly is your mother in every single way, and I have just treated her so terribly. I have treated you terribly. How do we get past that? I don't have the answer to that question, I don't have the answer to so many things. I just feel so lost, I feel so miserable and ashamed. So tell me, what do I do?”

Alice sighed heavily, resting her chin on her bent knees, and just stared at the horizon. Killian waited with bated breath for a moment, before deciding that he would not be getting a reply from her. But just as he was about to get up, Alice finally responded. “You don't do anything, Papa. You just need to give her time, give me time, and be there for us. We will get past it because we are family, and family means we never stop trying.” She got up, giving him a hand and pulling him up, dusting the sand from her dress. Killian nodded at her, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. This might not have been forgiveness, but Alice’s words gave him hope. She hesitated, as if she was contemplating saying something. “I love you, Papa. Even when I feel like I should hate you. I love you, because you’re my Papa, and because you’re here now.”

Killian swallowed thickly at the lump in his throat, wordlessly accepting the olive branch she had offered. “Let’s go, love. We have quite the journey to Camelot.”

She reached into Emma’s satchel, retrieving a leather cuff from it and handing it to him.

“I don’t think that’s my style, Starfish,” he chuckled. Regardless, he took the cuff from her, examining it. As far as leather cuffs went, it was fairly routine, nothing that stood out to him about the craftsmanship or the quality.

“It suppresses magic,” Alice explained. “In case you lose control,” she added.

Killian’s jaw clenched, the Darkness in him hissing at her insinuation. It scared him, how quickly his darker impulses came to the fore. The fear of doing something to harm his daughter was enough for him to place the cuff on immediately.

If Alice noticed the haste in which he put it on, she did not comment on it.

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Killian could feel every cell of his body corrupted by the black sludge of the Darkness, burning him from the inside out. All the pain and heartbreak that he had gone through amplified until his heart was nearly bursting from the agony, so much so that all he wanted to do was rip his heart from his chest and cut off his feelings all together. He felt unbelievably violated, the Darkness had taken over his body. He could feel the muck and grime settle in every crevice of his soul.

And when he emerged from his transformation, the Darkness had taken over so entirely - he felt born again, no longer restricted by the whims and restrictions of human existence. He felt the immensity of power at his disposal. He was Captain Hook once again. His lips spread into a wild grin - he had a blonde beauty to thank for liberating him.

Little did he know that Killian Jones was trapped, but alive, under the layers of rotten, filthy darkness.

-/-

Emma teleported herself back to the tower, making both Smee and Alice jump in fright. She couldn’t blame them; she did practically stumble in like a deranged maniac, frantically yelling at Smee to “Leave, now!” Alice backed away from Emma, her eyes wide and blue, fear crystal clear in them. Emma sucked in a deep breath, if only to not frighten Alice any more than she already had.

She quickly relayed what had happened to Smee, promising to tell him the whole story after she had made sure Killian was fine. She hurriedly packed a sack for Alice, carelessly throwing together outfits for her. But she had not been fast enough. When she rounded the corner from Alice’s space into the main room, a silent and docile Alice in tow, Killian was waiting for them, leaning casually against the window ledge. He looked up at that exact moment, a predatory grin on his face as he stalked towards them

Emma stopped dead in her tracks, pushing Alice behind her, the only defense between the child and the Dark One. Because the thing in front of her now was not the man she loved. This was not Killian, and frankly, she was afraid to find out who he was.

Killian stopped just in front of her, his head tilted to the side in a disapproving manner, lips in a slight pout.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He crouched in front of Emma, his gaze shifting to Alice who was hiding behind her, her grip tightening on Emma’s trouser’s leg. “It’s me, Starfish,” he crooned, his predatory look shifting into something far more soft.

“Papa?” Alice sounded scared, tentative. Emma saw Killian’s jaw clench and he glared up at Emma, as if she was the one at fault for Alice fearing him. Emma met his gaze fearlessly.

He was the first one to look away, all of his attention focused on Alice. “Aye, my love. Are you ready to get out of here?”

“Really?” the child asked, a slight edge to her tone, almost like she was afraid to be hopeful.

“Aye, Starfish. Papa found a way. Told you I would, didn’t I?” he grinned, reaching past Emma and taking a willing Alice into his arms, balancing her on his hip. He turned to Emma, his electric blue eyes fixed on hers.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked in an unexpectedly soft tone.

Emma was afraid for him. She was scared about what the Darkness was doing to him, his mood all over the place, unreadable to her. But she did not fear him.  But she knew, she could bring her Killian back. She stepped forward, tentatively brushing her knuckles over his cheek, her magic sparking, triggered by the Darkness in him. He then closed his eyes at her soft touch, his entire countenance losing the air of a man with great power. When his eyes opened, they were back to the cerulean of Killian Jones. She smiled.

“I could never be afraid of you. I’m afraid for you, my love,” she confessed, her eyes shifting to Alice, who had her head resting against her father’s shoulder, her thumb in her mouth. She only did that when she was most distressed.

-/-

Killian nodded in acceptance. He grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, and pulled her closer, enveloping his girls in his arms. Once he was certain that they would be shielded properly, he expelled a blast of magic, strong enough to break any spell. He wanted to get the Dark One to free his daughter, and one way or another, that was what he did. The tower started disintegrating around them, and once he felt the spell keeping Alice trapped break, he magically transported all of them to a safer location.

His feet hit the ground hard, jostling the little girl in his arms, while Emma managed to land quite gracefully on her feet. Both the adults turned their gaze on Alice, who looked around her in awe. She was truly outside the tower for the very first time. She squirmed in Killian’s hold, forcing him to let her go. And he hesitated for just a moment, concerned about her exploring too far. But Alice remained by their side, walking around and touching each tree, plant, and rock, gasping each time.

He had been enraged at Emma in the beginning; if it weren’t for her insistence that he grab the Dagger, he would have escaped this curse. But it was only because of the Darkness that he had been able to save his daughter. That couldn’t have been a bad thing, could it? He watched with amusement as his daughter explored the area around her, keeping up a constant chatter.

He chanced a glance at Emma, who was standing on the other side of the clearing they were in, but she was already looking at him with a strange expression. But she smiled at him when she noticed him looking. Odd, she looked almost contemplative.

Emma walked up to him, her hands behind her back. “I have something for you.” She looked serious, confusing him further.

“What is it, Swan?”

“Something that belongs to you,” She brought her hands forward, revealing the Dark One’s Dagger.

The Darkness flared up, screaming at him to possess it, to never let it out of his sight. With the Dagger in his hands, he could do anything he wanted. He reached for it, his hand trembling, but Emma stopped him just before he could touch it.

“Wait. Wait, we need to talk about this.”

“About what?” he growled, not able to take his eyes off of the Dagger.

“You seem different, Killian. You’re not you. Maybe I should just hold on to the Dagger for you,” she suggested. “I am just wo--”

Whatever the rest of her sentence was, Killian could not hear her over how loud the voice in his head was.

How dare she? The Darkness screamed inside his head. It’s yours to take. She is trying to control you. Is that what you want?

“Shut up! Just shut up.” He meant to snap at the voice in his head, but Emma jumped at his harsh tone, hurt flashing in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered, dropping the Dagger and backing away. “I’m going to go, and um, find us some food.” Emma walked away from the clearing and toward the dirt road that led to the village. He watched as she glanced at Alice, hesitated, and then kept walking. His gut clenched: he scared her.

What if she was running away from him?

He took and Dagger and placed it in his jacket. He grabbed Alice, despite her protests against being dragged away from turtles, and followed after Emma. Alice continued to cry, beating on his back to let her down, but as much as it pained him, he needed to find Emma, and reassure her. It was just a misunderstanding; everything would be alright.

-/-

Present day: Enchanted Forest

Emma struggled against the magical shackles Gothel had her bound in, but it was in vain. Her binds were too tight. Her wrists painfully rubbed against them when she tried to wriggle her hand out.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you after me?” she spat out at Gothel.

Gothel ignored her, rummaging through the myriad of bottles on the table opposite, her back turned to Emma. A couple of moments passed and Emma started to sweat in the humid room. Gothel had restrained her in the woods and used magic to transport them both. The place resembled the mines, except instead of stone, the walls were made of soil. So it was damp, but still very hot.

Gothel let out a triumphant shout, finally having found what she had been looking for. She moved to face Emma, dangling a small vial at her. “Do you recognise this?”

“Should I?” Emma sassed, glaring at the witch.

“It’s something I made, just for you. It’s mostly sulphur.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have.”

Gothel ignored Emma’s cheekiness. “Actually, I did use it on you once. Do you remember that?”

Emma glared at her, her heart raced simply remembering the pain Gothel’s poison had caused. But Gothel continued, observing Emma with curiosity. “It was meant to corrupt you; that was what the sulphur was meant for. It destroys light magic from within. You should have never been able to survive that.” She crouched in front of Emma, her head tilted to one side, her cold eyes staring at her unblinkingly, unnerving her. “I wondered, how you managed to stay so young over the years. I always assumed you used a glamour spell or a potion. It was only when I realised that my potion did not work that I started understanding what was really going on.”

Gothel smirked at her. Emma knew her panic was clear by her expression. “You have a part of the Darkness in you, Princess,” Gothel whispered gleefully. “My dark magic is no match for that, I know that now. I’m sure you’re suffering enough as it is. You wouldn’t survive losing your magic - you can’t live without it and you can’t live with it.”

Emma couldn’t understand how the witch had figured out her secret. She had been so certain that no one knew about it - not even Alice. It had taken a couple of years for Emma herself to even realise and understand. When Killian had linked the two of them together, some of the Darkness from him transferred to her. Emma assumed that the dark magic she had been sensing had been through the link belonged to Killian. But it was the dark magic in her own veins. Her magic was corrupted, both light and dark a part of each other. It had only become worse over the past 20 years.

Emma had not revealed this part of the plan to Killian for this reason - once they destroyed the Darkness, it would destroy her magic as well. It had been made pretty clear what would happen to her without her magic. She couldn’t bring herself to tell her daughter and her love that she would not survive this. That there was no happily ever after for her.

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma heard Alice’s cries before she heard Killian calling her name. She whirled around, startled to see the latter run up to her, holding a crying Alice in his arms.

“Swan,” he breathed, stopping a few feet away from her.

“What’s wrong with Alice?” she asked, stepping forward and taking the crying child into her arms, rubbing her hand over Alice’s back to comfort her. Alice wrapped her arms tightly around Emma’s neck, her cries muffled on Emma’s shoulder.

Killian looked helpless, like he was on the verge of crying himself. He sank to the ground, sitting slumped against a tree, running his hands through his hair, pulling at it painfully. It hurt Emma to see him in such a condition, but she was clueless to help him.

“I think I frightened her. I just- I needed to come after you. I needed to stop you, Swan,” he said after a long while, desperation dripping from his voice.

Alice’s cries had died down by then, and she had drifted off, slumped against Emma. She did not blame her; Alice had had a very eventful evening and it must have been too frightening and confusing for a six-year-old to handle, no matter how intuitive she was.

“Stop me from what, Killian?” Emma snapped, her voice coming out in harsh whisper. “You yelled at me to ‘Shut up.’ I thought you needed a moment to calm yourself.”

“I do not need to calm myself. I’m fine,” he bit out through clenched teeth.

“No, you are not. This is not who you are - flying tempers, making Alice cry? That is the Darkness. You are losing control. We need to get rid of it.”

He rose up, his eyes narrowed, and he looked at Emma contemplatively. “Oh, is that why you held on to my dagger? So you can ensure I don’t ‘lose control?’ You want to control me, is that it?”

“Of course not!” Emma protested. She switched Alice to her hip, leaving one hand free. She did not want to, but if it came down to it, she had to protect herself and Alice against the Darkness. Even if it meant she had to harm him. “Killian, this is not you.”

“No, Emma. This is better,” he argued, keeping his voice down. Emma was relieved that he did not wake Alice up: she did not want the little girl to see her father this way. “I was finally able to get my daughter out of that hell. The only way I was able to do that was with magic. My magic. Not yours.”

Emma reeled at that, feeling like she had been slapped. “I offered to use my magic. I would have done anything for Alice, you know that!”

But Killian ignored her, powering through his own speech. “You told me to grab the Dagger, Swan. You forced this on me, and now that I actually seem to like it, you just can’t handle it.” He wagged a finger at her, grinning like a maniac. “That’s it, isn’t it, love? You can’t handle the fact that I’m stronger than you. That I don’t need your magic.”

Emma bit her lip, her heart clenching at his accusations, trying to convince herself that it was the Darkness making him say these things. He wanted to hurt her, but she couldn’t give him that satisfaction.

“You and I both know that that’s not true. We are a family. It doesn’t matter who is more powerful.”

“Ah, see, that’s where you’re wrong, Swan. All this time, you had me convinced that I needed you, that I needed your magic to save my daughter, when in fact, I didn’t need you at all. Maybe you knew all along what needed to be done. You were just afraid that you would be left alone again, forever the orphan Princess.”

Tears came unbidden to Emma, every word coming out of Killian’s mouth hitting the mark. She pulled Alice closer, drawing comfort from her daughter.

“That is not fair. You’re not thinking straight,” she said quietly. Whether she was trying to convince Killian or herself, she wasn’t sure. Her hand trembled as she reached for his, the dark magic sizzling under his fingertips. “This is not you. This is not the man I love.”

“Perhaps the man you love is no more,” he whispered, his eyes looking away from her, unable to meet her gaze.

Emma was rendered speechless. She was not sure what she could possibly do to bring her Killian back to her.

“I refuse to believe that,” she said with conviction, drawing his attention back to her. “I love you, Killian Jones. Whether the Darkness likes it or not, I am not leaving.” She grew more confident when he seemed to listen, drawing closer to him, her hand drawing up his arm and resting against his chest. “I know your heart, I know you’re still there. Push the voices away. It’s just the three of us here - you, me, and Alice.”

Killian let out a deep breath, stepping away from her, Emma’s hand dropping. “I don’t know what’s happening, Swan,” he confessed, biting down hard at his lip. He squeezed his eyes shut, massaging his forehead.

Emma looked on, worried and helpless, wondering what she could possibly do to help her fiancé. “Talk to me, tell me what is going on inside your head. Lean on me.”

Killian nodded, pulling her closer. He hesitated, before holding his arms out to take his daughter, and letting out a relieved breath when Emma handed her over. He held Alice close, centering himself.

“I apologise for the things I said to you, Emma. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Emma nodded, wordlessly accepting his apology. But she had to know. ”Did you mean any of it? Do you really think- do you think that I kept things from you? That I tricked you into falling in love with me?” Her questions slipped out one after another, her insecurity rearing its ugly head.

Killian immediately pulled back, his hook resting on her waist. “No, absolutely not! I was- They were senseless words said in spite, my love. I was being an arse, and I’m sorry.” A beat later, he added, “I never meant for those words to come out, Emma. It- I was just so angry, I was hurt. And in that moment, I wanted to hurt you, like you hurt me.”

Emma swallowed thickly, not allowing him to notice the fear she felt building inside, painting a smile on her face instead. “It was the Darkness, Killian. It wasn’t you. I’ve seen this before, I’ve seen the way it corrupts and destroys. We need to get rid of it, once and for all.”

-/-

Present day: Camelot

It had taken Killian and Alice a week to reach Camelot by foot. He couldn’t use his magic, and Alice had never tried using hers. While it had given them plenty of time to talk and for Killian to get to know his daughter again, each day was agonising as they both feared for Emma’s life. Neither of them could understand why Gothel would want Emma, but the longer it took them to get rid of the Darkness, the worse their imaginations became. It had come to a point where neither of them spoke about what was happening to Emma; once again, she had sacrificed herself for Killian and Alice. Talking about it did nothing to relieve their guilt.

“Have you met this Merlin fellow before?” Killian asked, turning to Alice.

“Well, sort of. A very long time ago, we heard a rumour of an ancient sorcerer who could destroy the Darkness. But after a couple of months of research, we grew tired. It had been ten years at that point, I think, since you had been gone. It was a difficult year, for Mama. I was a hellion during my late adolescence,” Alice said, making Killian chuckle.

Another good thing about the time he had spent with Alice? He was slowly beginning to let go of his guilt and enjoy learning new tidbits of information about his daughter’s life.

“I’m sure if anyone could have handled it, Emma could have.”

“You’re not wrong. But that did deter her from looking for a way to get rid of the Darkness. Perhaps, if we had kept looking, we could have been reunited sooner.” Alice shot him a tight smile, before looking down, remorseful.

Killian couldn’t have his daughter blaming herself in any way. He stopped her, grasping her shoulders with hand and hook, waiting patiently for her to meet his eye. “Listen to me, Starfish. You have nothing to feel upset about. Things happened the way they were bound to happen. Emma made a decision to be a mother first. If I were in her place, I would have done the same thing.”

Alice shook her head, pushing Killian away, her arms crossed petulantly. “This is all my fault. This started because you wanted to rescue me from that tower. Maybe I was better off-”

“No!” Killian snapped, making Alice jump. He wouldn’t blame her; even when she had been a child, he had never raised his voice at her, let alone as an adult. “You need to stop blaming yourself. That is far too heavy a burden to carry on your shoulders, love. Gothel trapped you in that tower, and nothing you could have said or done would have stopped either me or Emma from saving you. You’re our daughter - and that is what you do for your family, Alice. So, don’t you dare think we would be better off. You saved me from a life of a pointless pursuit for revenge, you were there for Emma all those years I was gone. I probably never would have met Emma if it weren’t for you. I owe everything to you, my darling.” He smiled, drawing her into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head. “Enough with such talk. Let us get to Merlin.”

Another fifteen minutes of walking led father and daughter to a dilapidated bridge, both of them looking around concerned and confused. The more they ventured into Camelot, the more they were starting to realise that there was no one there; everything in Camelot seemed to be broken down, vines and shrubbery overgrown on the buildings. Everything looked abandoned, not like the thriving city Killian had come to expect.

“Are you sure this is the right place, Starfish?” Killian asked, helping her over a large, fallen pillar.

“Aye,” she said, jumping to the ground with a grunt. “At least, I think so. This is Camelot.”

“And this is where Merlin is supposed to be?” Killian asked with a scoff. “It looks like he hasn’t been here for a while.”

“Looks can be deceptive, Captain Jones,” a man’s voice spoke from behind them.

Killian and Alice whirled around, both of them drawing their cutlasses out and pointed them at the man’s throat. He seemed oddly calm, smiling at them despite the threat. Killian regarded him curiously: he was dressed in brown and gold robes, his arms at his sides and looking at them pleasantly, as if his life wasn’t being threatened. Killian could only think of one person who could be that brave.

“Merlin,” he declared, his sword still held pointed at the wizard.

“Indeed. Now, if you could be so kind as to lower your weapons…”

Killian and Alice complied, sheathing their weapons. But Killian couldn’t shake the wariness he felt. “What did you mean, ‘looks can be deceptive?’” Killian’s eyebrow raised questioningly at the wizard.

If possible, Merlin’s grin grew wider and he waved his hand. Killian and Alice gasped at their surroundings melted away like candle wax, the decrepit area replaced by a thriving town square, people milling around them, vendors selling their wares.

Killian and Alice gaped as they saw all the people - Killian could not wrap his head around the display of magic. Just a moment ago, the place had been completely empty and neglected.

“Just a simple glamour to keep out unsavory characters,” Merlin assured, his hands clasped in front of him. “Queen Guinevere had it put up when she formed the kingdom with Ser Lancelot,” he informed them.

Killian was taken aback; all the stories that he had heard in the Land without Magic, King Arthur was the ruler of Camelot, and Lancelot was just a knight. “What about King Arthur?”

Merlin sighed, shaking his head. “Arthur...Well, he was nothing but a disappointment. Thankfully, our queen recognised it and made sure the people did not suffer from his obsession and neglect.” He clapped his hands together, making father and daughter stare at one another doubtfully. “However, you are here for a different reason, aren’t you?”

Killian shared a look with Alice before he stepped forward. “Perhaps there is somewhere else for us to speak, mate? Somewhere private, maybe?”

-/-

Present: Enchanted Forest

Emma let out an agonising scream, straining heavily in her bonds, as Gothel’s newest creation wreaked havoc on her. The witch had been torturing Emma for the past week, injecting her with different concoctions, exploiting the Darkness in her to make her weaker. For so long, she had been able to manage having the Darkness be a part of her, had resisted using her magic for this very reason. Every time she had used her magic, it had been painful. It had taken her a year or two to get used to the Darkness and to train herself to draw from the light magic only. It had been fairly easy, there was hardly any dark magic in her. But she had not accounted for the Darkness to draw power from the light magic, never accounted for its growth.

The more the Darkness grew in her, the weaker she had become. She hadn’t noticed it all until a year ago when she had found Merlin. He had noticed the growing Darkness in her, he had been the one to tell her of her fate; he had also told her that there was no way for them to separate the dark and light magic in her. They exist as one and would be destroyed as one. Perhaps, if you had come to me sooner, he had said. He had been the one to tell her Killian would be the only other person who would be able to remove just the Darkness. It had originally been a part of him, and would thus go back to him, leaving her light magic behind. Theoretically, that would be the outcome. She had almost tested that theory out, before Alice had come back.

Unfortunately for Emma, Gothel had learnt her secret as well. She had been injecting Emma with different potions to activate the Darkness in her. The weaker Emma grew, the less resistant she could be to Gothel’s magic. She intended to get Emma as weak as she possibly could, before Gothel forced Emma to reveal the plan to get rid of the Darkness.

For the past week, Emma had been confident that she would be able to make it. Until today, Emma could feel the Darkness take root. She could feel the pain in every cell of her body, as if she was burning from within. It was unbearable, and Emma couldn’t help but cry out. She had almost given up, almost begged Gothel to make it stop - but she refused to give the witch that satisfaction. She was stronger than that - she was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Her parents had faced death with dignity; they might have been defeated, but they had their integrity. If Emma had to die, she would prefer to have her integrity intact. It was all she had left of her parents.

“My, my, aren’t you the stubborn one,” Gothel spat, wrapping her hand around Emma’s throat and squeezing. “But you are so weak now, Emma. You’re no match for my magic.”

“Do whatever the hell you want. You can never stop the Darkness from being destroyed.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, my dear. You’re going to tell me exactly what your plan is, and I’m going to make certain you lot rue the day you met me.”

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Killian and Emma had managed to set up camp at a riverbed. He caught them some fish, despite not feeling hungry, and Emma built a fire. Alice, now awake, watched everything they did with rapt attention, and she even helped Killian catch fish, jumping with joy when she first felt the water lapping at her feet, the smaller fish tickling her as they swam past. Killian silently enjoyed her carefreeness, her heart soaring at her happiness. This was all he wanted for her - but he had never anticipated the price would have been so steep. He knew what needed to be done, now. He had no control over this Darkness. He was weak, he had succumbed to it before in the past, and he had let it take over today. He could not imagine what would happen when he was not strong enough to pull back. He had seen the way it had wrecked Baelfire’s family, seen what the Darkness had turned Rumplestiltskin into.

He did not want that for his family. He pulled out the magic bean he had been carrying with him for centuries, having stolen it from Pan on his very last visit to Neverland. He had held on to it in hopes that he would use it once he had freed Alice. But he needed to get away from here, where the temptation was always there. Nothing would be able to stop him from sinking, not even his family.

He had heard of the Land without Magic from Baelfire; he would use the bean to go there. He would make sure he did not have his memories, that he would have nothing that would bring him back here. Not until Emma had found a cure to this plague. She would understand his reasons, she had to. Killian could not handle being here, he did not want to fight against the Darkness for a second longer than he had to. And if he went to the Land without Magic, he wouldn’t have to.

Once the fish was caught, cooked, and consumed, Alice promptly fell asleep again. That was good, he decided. He would not be able to tell Alice goodbye; he couldn’t watch her cry again. He had hurt her enough.

“Killian?” Emma called out, pulling him away from his thoughts. “Is everything alright? Is it- is the Darkness speaking to you again?” she asked, worry evident in her tone.

He smiled at her half-heartedly, grabbing her right hand in his own, fiddling with the green stone ring on her finger. He remembered the night she had told him the story about it, about how her mother had stolen the ring from her father, and how Prince David found Snow White, and how they fell in love. He wanted something like that for them. He wanted True Love. He wanted to believe that they would find each other again, no matter how long it took.

“No, darling. Just my own thoughts that are keeping me awake.”

“Do you want to talk about it? After all, aren’t married people supposed to share their burdens?” Emma teased, smiling coyly at him.

“Oh, Swan,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. Emma snuggled into his body, pressing her nose to his neck, exhaling softly. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Jones.”

He closed his eyes, revelling in the moment, burning it to his memory. He needed just a moment, where everything was alright. He had finally managed to free his child, and he was engaged to the woman he loved. If it weren’t for the Darkness, this would be the best moment of his life; he wanted to pretend that it was. Just for a moment.

So he did, but he pulled away the next. “I need to talk to you, Emma.”

Emma pursed her lips, staring at him seriously. “Why do I get the feeling that I won’t like what you are about to say?”

“Oh, you will most surely hate it. But I-”

“Don’t say it,” she cut him off. “Don’t do it. Whatever you are thinking of - don’t.”

He sighed deeply, reaching for her hand, but she pulled away. She eyed him warily, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. “You don’t get to hold my hand and break my heart, Killian.”

“Dammit, Emma. I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m doing this for you,” Killian snapped, standing up and starting to pace. “I need to leave, get far away from here. I am not strong enough to control this. I will descend much deeper into the Darkness, and I cannot come out of it. I will hurt you and Alice. I don’t want that.”

“What about what we want?” Emma whispered, eerily calm. “What about what I want? I want you to stay, and fight this. You have us, lean on us.” She stood up too, her eyes glassy with tears, her teeth biting the inside of her cheek.

“I can’t, Emma. Please, don’t make me. I can’t fight. I will fail, and I don’t want that. I don’t want this Darkness. I never should have taken the Dagger.” Killian could hear the desperation in his own voice.

Emma let out a long, shuddering breath. “What do you want to do?” she asked, after a long silence.

And so he told her, every detail of his plan laid out in front of Emma. He could practically see how every word out of his mouth broke her heart a little bit more. But she let him talk and listened attentively. She didn’t say a word, not until he was done.

“You’ll be in this Land without Magic, and you will not have any of your memories, is that right?” she asked softly, her eyes trained on the ground.

He waited a beat, hoping she would look up at him. But when it became evident that she wouldn’t, he replied with a simple ‘Aye.’

She took in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, nodding to herself. She finally looked him in the eye, her gaze sharp and determined, every bit the stubborn, strong woman he had fallen in love with. “I will get the answer to this dilemma, and I will come for you. I will find you.” Her words were confident and firm. Before he could thank her, however, she cut him off. “Do not think for one moment that this doesn’t break my heart.”

He swallowed thickly, knowing that there was only one thing left to you. “I need to leave now. Before Alice wakes up.”

Emma’s brows pulled together, and he could sense her anger. “You’re not even going to tell your daughter goodbye?” she demanded.

“I can’t do it, Emma. She will be devastated, she will make me stay. I can’t allow that to happen.”

She stared at him quietly, her rage radiating off of her in waves, her eyes wide and nostrils flaring. “You are a coward, Killian Jones,” she declared.

He hung his head in shame, moving toward his sleeping daughter, kneeling beside her. His throat was thick with tears, his heart hurt simply thinking about leaving her. He had never been so far from her - now, not only would he be in another realm, he would have no memory of her. It was for the best, though. It had be.

He squeezed his eyes shut, brushing Alice’s hair away from her forehead, pressing the lightest of kisses there, lingering for a moment before he pulled away. He took her in for a moment, knowing that he would miss watching her grow up. Just a few years, he told himself. You will see her in a few years.

“You don’t have to leave, Killian.” Emma’s soft voice floated through the air. “You could stay.”

Killian got up, taking one last look at his daughter before he turned to Emma. “Have you come up with a way to replace my memories in the Land without Magic?” he asked her, ignoring her statements.

She sighed, clearly still angry with him, but nodded. “I can modify your existing memories, I can store the real ones in a Dreamcatcher.”

“Let us do this, then.”

-/-

Present: Camelot

“This is yours?” Killian asked, tracing the hilt of Excalibur, Merlin’s name etched on the blade. It looked just like the Dark One’s dagger, only much longer and with an end missing. But Merlin explained that as well - how he had forged Excalibur, how the sword was broken by the first Dark One, how the Dark One had murdered his love, Nimue. How he tethered the Darkness to the Dagger.

The Darkness hissed at that, screaming at Killian to destroy the wizard and ravage Camelot, to let it free. He was thankful for the cuff preventing him from doing any magic, because he was certain he would have given in. He could hear the whispers from the Dagger, driving him insane.

“Yes,” Merlin answered. “Now you know everything you need to. We need to hurry, rid the world of this Darkness. Once and for all.”

“What about Gothel?” Alice asked. “What if she decides to stop us?”

“She will need to go through me, then,” Killian piped up, his jaw clenched tight. “Where do we need to go to find this Promethean flame?” he asked, addressing Merlin.

“It’s not too far, but I need to warn you. This is your battle, Killian. The Darkness will try everything to convince you not to do this. You will either win, or it will take over you, forever. There can be no cuff stopping you from using your magic,” Merlin warned. “This is ancient magic, more powerful than you could ever imagine. You did not have to face its true extent for decades, if what you say is true.”

“Aye, I understand.” Killian had made up his mind - after everything his daughter and Emma had sacrificed for him, he needed to step up. He had to face everything he had run away from, and he needed to start with the Darkness.

“Papa, perhaps we should talk about this?” Alice suggested, looking vexed at the task ahead of them. “Couldn’t I do this?” she asked Merlin.

“No, Starfish. It is my turn to take care of you now. I need to face my demons. And I will,” Killian vowed. He turned to Merlin. “Tell me everything I need to do, and I will do it.”

-/-

Present Day: Enchanted Forest

Emma panted heavily, her wrists sore from the constant friction against the shackles, feeling weak and useless as Gothel used her vile magic to delve into her mind. It was the worst torment, feeling a strange presence in her mind, moving through her thoughts and memories, invading her. It was a great violation, one that left her sick to her stomach. No matter how much she tried to resist, Gothel’s magic was stronger than Emma’s.

If there was any light magic left in her, it was hindered by the shackles she wore or was buried deep under layers of dark magic. Emma wanted to cry; her light magic had been the only constant in her life, and for it to be violated and corrupted, hurt in innumerable ways. She had never thought there could exist a person so cruel, a person who understood how precious natural magic was and could still inflict such horrors on another, like Gothel was.

She had tried so hard, for so long, to fight. But she had lost all ability to - and if she was being honest with herself, all will to. Emma was tired of being strong. She had finally been broken, and she did not have the fight left in her. She knew that was what Gothel wanted, and she had tried so hard not to give the witch that satisfaction - but she couldn’t hold on anymore.

Emma closed her eyes, tears running down the corners of her eyes, and she gave complete control of herself to Gothel. The Darkness had won.

-/-

20 years ago: Enchanted Forest

Emma gave the Dreamcatcher to Killian, not able to bring herself to take his memories. He understood, knowing that what he had already asked of her was a great enough price. She could not believe what Killian was about to do. She was certain that it was the Darkness in him that had made him so paranoid and so selfish. She would have fought him on his decision, if she had been talking to Killian alone. But the Darkness was unpredictable, and she could understand Killian’s fear. She might not support his decision, but she could at least understand where he came from.

She stood to the side, as she watched him perform the spell to transfer his memories on to the Dreamcatcher once he had crossover to the other realm. She still had him here with her, for a few moments at least. She fiddled with her mother’s ring for a moment before she took it off all together. Emma approached Killian, both of them smiling shakily at each other.

“My pirate,” she whispered fondly, looking up at him, her eyes roaming over every inch of his face, etching him into her memory. “It’s almost time, isn’t it?”

“Aye. Emma. I am sorry, love.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek softly, looking at her with a kind of broken tenderness that made her gut clench.

She pressed her mother’s ring in his palm, shocking him. He stared at her, his lips moving wordlessly. “I just thought - Well, you gave me a ring. It felt right, to give you my mother’s. It’s a promise, I guess. And- We never got to the wedding, technically, and I expect that once you come back. But until then….” She trailed off, closing his fingers around the ring.

“Until then,” he vowed, softly, but with great conviction.

She nodded, swallowing hard at the lump in her throat. It was useless, though, as tears welled heavy in her eyes. She clutched the lapel of his greatcoat tightly, pulling him down to her. She pressed their lips together, kissing him with everything she had, wet and desperate, their breaths mingling every time they pulled back for air. She was loathe to end it, biting down on his lip. Killian was the one to pull away, his hand on her shoulder, both of them breathing heavily.

He pulled the Dagger from inside his jacket, handing it to Emma with a trembling hand. “Hold on to this for me, aye?”

Emma took the Dagger with both hands, her thumb tracing his name etched in the metal. “There’s still time to change your mind.”

“Swan.”

“I know...I - I don’t know how long it will be until I see you again. What if I never find a way to save you? You’re immortal, I am not.”

Killian nodded, his eyes serious and unwavering. “I know, love. And I think I know a way to prevent that.”

“What?” she asked, curious. He hesitated, looking at her with a strange, apologetic look in his eyes. “What is it?” she demanded, pulling away from him completely.

“I’m sorry, Emma. I couldn’t think of another way,” he said, sounding helpless.

“What do you-”

But before she could finish the sentence, he released a burst of magic her way. Emma gasped, feeling the Darkness hit her, the force of it sending her flying. She felt her magic flare up to fight against the invading power, the heavy, foul magic pushing its way through. Emma could feel it flow through her veins, her entire body unbearably hot. She could hardly move, laying slumped against a tree.

Emma gaped at Killian, the betrayal causing bile to rise in her throat, tears of anger threatening to fall. He looked remorsefully at her, his heartbreak apparent on his features.

“I am so sorry, Swan,” he called out. He threw the bean to the ground, the portal opening up immediately. “I love you. This was the only way I could make sure we see other again.”

Emma choked on a sob, feeling breathless and crippled, watching as Killian walked through the portal, leaving her with a gaping hole in her chest, and whatever spell he hit her with, destroying both her heart and soul, in one fell swoop.

[acostarsandwritings]

Nightcrimes

Previous | Chapter 6 | Next Chapter Index

Summary: when Feyre Archeron, director of a major bank, is the victim of an attempted robbery, she is suddenly reintroduced to her old highschool sweetheart, Rhys. Rhys is exactly as she remembered, except darker than ever; and it seems that he is no stranger to crime. Feyre’s life is about to drastically change - and whenever Rhys is involved, that can’t be a very good thing.

@atya-malik133 @booklover242 @anythingsjmaas @i-love-territorial-illyrians @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @always-namelessismyprice @ice-queen-a @nightfaeri @highladyofherondale @cassiancalore @court-of-fandoms-and-art @queen-elain @reallyangryrn @kybaeza @always-namelessismyprice @readingismycopingmechanism @rory050 @susanablackbeauty @saltierthanbottomofapretzelbag @acourtoffuckmylifeup 

Alis was knocking on her door. She hadn’t noticed it, the knocks soft at first, but as Alis peeped her head into the office, Feyre realized she must have been knocking for a good minute. “Come in,” she motioned, and Alis slid through the door, closing it behind her as soft as she’d knocked. Feyre gave her a small smile, her desk littered with paperwork. Most things had gone back to normal a week after the board meeting. Including the paperwork. “What can I help you with?” Alis, to Feyre’s surprise, looked to her feet. “Alis?” A deep breath. “It’s been a week, Feyre.” Alis’ gaze settled on her like a net. It had been a week. More than a week, even. She had promised Alis to tell her why she went to visit Rhys, what he’d said to her, what he’d confessed. What she’d kept secret. And now she was asking for it, and Feyre didn’t know if she was ready to tell her. If she was ready to confess. “I don’t know if I can tell you all of it, Alis.” Alis just smiled that mother’s smile at her. “I can’t force you to tell me anything, Feyre. You don’t have to trust me with things like these. Tell me what you want to tell me. I’m not going to be mad at you for things you can’t tell.” Always logical, always kind. Alis had never been anything but understanding. Feyre wanted to tell her – she wanted to, wanted to have someone understand what she was going through, wanted for someone to listen to her. She’d been thinking about it the entire time, without anyone to confide in. Rhysand’s face kept haunting her dreams. She kept staring into the barrel of a gun, held by his hand, only for him to apologize when he shot her. It didn’t hurt, in her dream. What hurt was the look on his face after he shot her, time after time after time. “He didn’t mean to rob me,” she finally whispered. Alis moved to hold her hand. “I know it sounds stupid – ‘he didn’t mean to!’ – but he really didn’t. He didn’t know it was my bank. He called his men back, Alis, but I was so angry, so I went there and I yelled at him.” She let out a shuddering sob. “Gods, if I think about it now, it sounds so naïve, doesn’t it? And yet here I am, believing him when he said he didn’t mean it, that he wasn’t after me. I went there and yelled at him and I came back so surprised that it defeated me.” A huffed laugh escaped her lips. “He sent me flowers, even. A big, beautiful bunch of them.” Alis only squeezed her hand. “I guess I just want to forget… I want to pretend it never happened. But I keep thinking about it, Alis. I keep thinking about it, because I don’t understand, I don’t get why he would do that. I want to go there and force him to tell me, but I also want to forget him… do you get it?” Feyre sagged her head down onto the desk. “And now I’m in this mess. Gods, I just want this to never have happened…” Alis moved to cup Feyre’s cheek. “You can’t get it out of your head, can you?” Feyre shook her head, still lying on her desk. “I keep asking myself the same question. Why? Why was I important enough? I keep thinking of it as some act of kindness – only to imagine myself staring into the barrel of a gun moments later, thinking I would die. I can’t make up my mind about it.” Alis’ softly stroked her thumb across Feyre’s cheek, her hand warm against Feyre’s skin, but didn’t say anything. “I thought that maybe I should see a therapist. But then what? I’d only have to relive that moment over and over again, and a therapist isn’t going to solve the problem of a literal crime lord breathing in my neck. Plus, at this point, I don’t even know who I can trust.” Alis took Feyre’s chin in her hand and gently made their eyes meet. “Feyre, don’t let yourself be pulled under by this. I can see how this is eating you up, and if you excuse my honesty, I would say it’s a very good idea to look for someone who can help you work this out. I can’t pretend to know how you feel, but I do know that you’re suffering. You’re practically wasting away in your office. Don’t do this to yourself, sweetheart. Don’t let him win.” Feyre swallowed down a sob. “But how? How can I stop myself from losing? I keep thinking, what if he shows up again? Worse – what if I can’t handle it anymore and seek him out?” Alice straightened her spine, her small frame rising above Feyre behind her desk. “It’s no use to dwell on the what-ifs, Feyre. You are not like this. You are the woman who singlehandedly conquered the stock market when she was 28. You are the woman who got there by grim determination and ruthless ambition. You are a fighter, Feyre. You’re a huntress. If Rhysand decides that this story’s ending isn’t the way he liked, then he will find that you have teeth. And if you need help in sharpening those teeth, Feyre Archeron, then I will be there every step of the way. But you do not cower. You do not let him win.” Alis’ conviction washed over Feyre word for word, until she started to believe it too. “Good. Now raise that pretty head of yours, girl.” Feyre lifted her chin, until she felt like the huntress Alis said she was. “There you go,” Alis smiled. “You can do this, Feyre. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. And if you can’t find that strength, there are always people who can help you gather it.” Feyre smiled at her. “Thank you, Alis… I think I needed that more than I’d like to admit.” Alis grinned back at her. “Well, you can always give me a raise, I would say…” “Alis, don’t push it,” Feyre laughed. “I’m just glad to see you smile, Feyre.” With that, she moved to the door, ready to leave. “Don’t forget that I’ll always be here if you need me.” Feyre nodded. “I won’t. Thank you, Alis. I’ll think of that raise.” Alis winked at her before she left, closing the door behind her. Feyre could see her silhouette walk away through the opaque glass, distorting her features until she was a smudge of dark against the bright light of the hallway. Behind her, the city spread out underneath her office on the upper floor of the building they owned, which seemed to touch the blue-grey sky. Even with her back to the glass wall, Feyre swore she could feel the red brick building of Starfall Industries looming over her, swore that she could feel its owner staring up at her in her large skyscraper, his gaze crossing straight through the city and into her office. It was impossible, of course, and useless to think about it anyway – so Feyre gathered a new pile of papers, losing herself in the deskwork that had piled up throughout the last week. 

And a few blocks away, a man tore violet eyes away from the glass-and-metal tower of Archeron Finance, hoping that he hadn’t made a wrong call when he let the woman with eyes like the sky walk away from him seven days ago. 

[mariequitecontrarie]

People Will Talk: Part 2

Summary: Atticus Gold and newcomer Belle French have developed a relationship no one in Storybrooke approves of, and people make their opinion known in small-minded, small-town fashion: he’s too old for her, and the pretty young librarian needs to find friends her own age. When Gold ends the relationship to protect Belle’s reputation, the town turns on him again. To make matters worse, his friends and family are mad at him, too. But as we all know, love wins in the end. Chapter Summary: Gold hasn't seen Belle in two weeks and Alice is not happy with him. Belle gets an unpleasant surprise. Rating / Word Count: T / 3000  A/N: Continuing Marie’s Three-Year Writing Anniversary Rumor/Assumed Fake Dating/Family AU that no one asked for. @maplesyrupao3 -- bless you!

On AO3

Part 1 on AO3 | Part 1 on Tumblr

Two Weeks Later

“Alice, why are you looking at me like that?”

Gold held his breath and waited, cursing himself for asking. He was guaranteed not to like the answer, but anything was better than the silent treatment.

Alice stopped dusting the cabinet of china dolls to fix him with another poisonous glare. “Because you’re a horse’s ass who has more money than brains.”

“Noted. Can you at least keep up with your duties while you insult me? Time is still money, dearie, even here in the barnyard.” Squabbling, at least, was familiar territory.

Gold waved a hand around the tidy pawnshop, wondering who worked for whom. He owned the store, but Alice called the shots. Sometimes it seemed like his only job was bankrolling Alice’s Amazon Prime spending sprees while she worked her way through Storybrooke College.

The only person he knew who shopped more than Alice was...no, he wasn’t going there.

Still glowering at him like he was something she scraped from the bottom of her shoe, Alice worked her way around the perimeter of the shop with her feather duster. He had to admit she did keep the cobwebs at bay and his stockroom organized, even if she annoyed the hell out of him in the process.

He glanced at the restored cuckoo clock on the wall. It was almost lunchtime, and Alice had been scowling at him since she’d shown up for work this morning. Trying to ignore her, he eased behind the counter and opened the books.

She fell silent for a short, precious moment, then slapped her hands on the countertop.“Ha! I know what your problem is. You’re in a foul temper because you haven’t seen your sweetheart. Belle hasn’t popped in for two weeks. What’s wrong? Lovers’ quarrel?”

“Beg pardon?” he asked, pretending to study his ledgers.

Feigning ignorance never worked on Alice. So like a Jones. Stubborn and mouthy, just like her father. She continued to bore holes into the top of his head, muttering to herself about how he was apologizing to the wrong person until he looked up with a long-suffering sigh.

Talking, talking. Why was the girl always talking? An ocular migraine threatened to form, sharp and urgent above his nose. Tiny sparks exploded in his peripheral vision, and he pressed his fingers against his forehead.

He supposed he could send his little conscience home from work to get her out of his way, but she was more than an employee—she was his goddaughter—and he’d promised Hook he would keep tabs on Alice while he was at sea. Killian “Hook” Jones’ career as a Naval officer meant lengthy tours of duty up to six months, and he knew Alice and her papa missed each other dreadfully while he was away. Guilt poked his conscience; he hadn’t emailed Hook with an update in at least two weeks. But he knew his oldest (and only) friend would question him about Belle, and he was neither willing to lie nor ready to confide. Besides, he reasoned, Alice could text her papa anytime she wanted with her smartphone thingy.

“If you’re not going to work, why don’t you study?” he murmured, trying to concentrate on his July sales numbers. “Isn’t there a women’s lit paper due tomorrow or something?”

“Books!” she shouted, making him jump. “That’s it! Why don’t you take these books back to the library for me?”

Alice plopped a pile of novels on top of the financials, jarring him from his thoughts. He pinched the bridge of his nose hard. Now he would have to rework the column of numbers all over again.

“I was hoping to get advice from Belle on a dress for my date with Robin on Friday, but this’ll give you an excuse to see her instead.” Alice grinned, delighted with her solution.

He shoved the books aside with a huff. “I’m not looking for an excuse.”

“Why the hell not?” Abandoning the pretense of working entirely, she dropped the feather duster on the floor and hoisted herself up on top of the counter.

He set his teeth on edge. “Belle and I aren’t friends anymore.”

“Friends?” She smirked. “If you’re friends, then I’m straight. Hate to break it to you, Uncle Atty, but you two have never been friends. She’s in love with you! And you love her, too.”

“What makes you say so?” he asked carefully, looking at his nails.

“Oh, I don’t know. The dark circles under your eyes. The constipated look on your face. You look like a saggy, twitchy, miserable old man.” She held up a brown paper bag. “Want a sandwich?”

He turned around, assessing his appearance in the antique mirror that hung on the wall behind the cash register. “I am a saggy, twitchy, miserable old man,” he snapped. “And no, I’m not hungry.”

“When Belle’s around, you look all soft and floppy and happy, like Rabbit does whenever I come home.” Alice smiled another cheeky grin.

He smiled back at her in spite of himself. “Well, I’ve been called worse, dearie, but If you’re expecting to bring me to heel like that stupid old dog of yours, it’ll be a cold day in hell.” He slammed the ledger closed and headed for the workroom. The girl trailed after him, still clutching her paper sack.

“I have egg salad,” she teased, shaking the bag. “Your favorite.”

It used to be. He shuddered, his stomach lurching. Eggs were a definite no. Now whenever he saw any sort of egg concoction, he thought of Belle’s pinched, white face on that hot July afternoon thirteen days ago when he ended their friendship. Not that he was counting the days since they’d been apart.

“I don’t eat eggs anymore,” he said. “Too much cholesterol.” No one knew his house had been egged besides Belle, and he wasn’t going to whine about it to Alice. He still had some pride. “You don’t like eggs, you don’t like Belle.” Alice spread her hands wide and twirled in a circle. “What do you like, Sam-I-Am?”

He pulled a face. “Peace and quiet. Both seem to be in short supply.”

Laughing at his sour expression, she plopped down on one of the stools at the work table and dangled her sandwich in front of his nose. “How about marmalade? I’ll trade ya.”

Alice was volunteering to eat the egg salad and offering her favorite lunch. Things really were as bad as they seemed, then. “Fine.”

Resigned, he sat down beside her, accepting half of the sandwich. He took a small bite to stop her prattling, but he had no appetite. Food had no flavor, the whole world drained of color and light without Belle. He missed her; her laughter, her touches, her insatiable appetite for stuffed crust pizza.

“Eat,” Alice insisted, clucking over him like a little mama.

He swallowed the bite of sandwich and forced himself to take another. “So, did you choose a dress for your date?” he asked, attempting both to change the subject and rejoin the land of the living. “Where are you and Robin going?”

“It’s just Tony’s.” Alice shrugged like the occasion was no big deal, and took a massive bite of her sandwich.

A six month anniversary is an important milestone.” He took out his pocket square and folded it into a perfect crown, trying not to be hurt that she hadn’t asked his advice. “Your father wouldn’t know style if it bit him on the arse, but I know my way around a clothing boutique.”

“I know,” she said around a mouthful of egg salad. “But I was kinda wanting the opinion of another woman. No offense.”

‘Another woman’ meant Belle. He cleared his throat. “None taken.” Not for the first time he was reminded that walking away from Belle didn’t only affect him. Alice looked up to Belle like an older sister, and he hoped his relationship failings weren’t driving a wedge between Alice and Belle, too.

Poking at the crust on his sandwich, he wondered what Belle was doing right now. She was probably balancing a book on her lap while she ate, dropping sandwich crumbs between the pages and... no. Gold mentally slapped himself. Cutting a person out of your life meant giving up the right to wonder.

Alice polished off the first half of her sandwich and started on the second. “Belle was at Granny’s the other night,” she offered slyly, employing her uncanny knack for reading his mind.

He choked on the sticky bit of bread in his mouth. “Oh? With anyone?” Ugh . When it came to the people he cared about, he was terrible at nonchalance.

“Yeah. Tall bloke with sparkling blue eyes and a strong, lean jaw.” She batted her eyelashes. “Didn’t recognize him, but it looked like a date.”

Date? Belle had gone on a date? He would find out who the bastard was and he would crush his windpipe with his cane. Gold looked down at his hands. They were coated in marmalade, the mangled sandwich crushed between his palms.

“Way to play it cool, Uncle Atty.” Alice smirked and he rose to wash his sticky hands. “I’m kidding. But I wouldn’t have made a joke if I knew you were this upset. Belle was at a booth with some other people. Ruby, Mulan, and Mary Margaret. Waved at me once, but she was picking at her food and staring at the wall whenever I tried to catch her eye. It’s obvious she’s missing you. Can’t you fix this?”

“I couldn’t possibly be intelligent enough to do that,” he said, grateful sarcasm was there to cover his relief at Belle not being on a date after all.

“Mmm, I see.” Alice rolled her eyes. “She’s the first woman who saw through your little act, isn’t she? Now you’re grouchy because you’ve gone and screwed up the best thing in your life because some Granny, Marco, and some other ignorant busybodies have their noses out of joint. Since when are you afraid of them, anyway?”

“Afraid? Ha!” He flashed his gold tooth in a warning snarl. This conversation was ridiculous.

“Cripes, this place can be so backward. Even the clock doesn’t move here.” Alice gestured down the street toward the clock tower, which had been stuck at 8:15 for twenty years. “I’d say we’re living in a land time forgot, but it’s been a common practice in most societies for younger women and older men to marry for generations.”

“Marry?” He sputtered. “Who said anything about marriage?”

“Obviously not you!”

He crossed his arms and grunted. “Reverse psychology doesn’t work on me, child. I used to change your nappies.”

“That’s right, you did. So why are you pretending I don’t know you?” She swallowed the rest of her sandwich in a gulp and chased it with half a can of Dr. Pepper soda. “People whisper all sorts of wicked things about me. Some of them are true and some of them are outright lies. We’re alike in that way, you and I. So what? If I paid attention to what everyone said, I’d never leave the house.”

“I know, honey.” He smoothed his hands over the smooth grain of the worktable, ashamed of himself. Alice had more than her share of bad days, days when she couldn’t come into work. Times when she came to the shop and wandered around as though in a dream, trailing her fingers through cabinets coated in dust, a faraway look in her eyes. What he suffered was nothing in comparison, and yet he couldn’t seem to ignore the thick fog of prejudice and judgment that suffocated him whenever he was with Belle.

“People talk no matter what we do; doesn’t mean we have to listen.” She patted his shoulder. “You sure as hell don’t listen to me, and I talk your head off every damn day.”

He gave her a fond smile and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t remind me.”

Day after day of pretending she was fine was exhausting, but Belle had been doing a fair job of holding herself together since Gold had unceremoniously dumped her on his front porch. She wasn’t sure it counted as a dump if you only fantasized you were a couple, but according to the ache in her chest, it was real.

The busier the day, the better. If she kept moving from task to task, she could ignore her shattered heart. She showed up for her library shifts without fail, she checked books in and out, and chattered with people about their lives. Today she had even helped several eleventh graders with their Marie Antoinette biographies. Staying busy was working until the last hour of the day when the flow of patrons slowed to a trickle and she sat down at her desk to open the mail.

She quickly sorted through the typical bills, catalogs, and overdue fine payments, arranging them into piles. A plain, clean white envelope addressed directly to her stood out from the rest of the mail, and she saved it for last. There was no return address, but the faint scent of antiseptic clung to the crisp envelope.

Belle ripped the envelope open and a drawing sketched on a piece of ruled notebook paper floated to the floor. What she saw made her bite down on her lip hard, the metallic tang of blood filling her mouth. It was a crude illustration, but she could make out the Beast from the movie Beauty and the Beast , drawn wrinkled and old, wearing a suit and tie and clenching a cane in his gnarled claw. He was ogling a young woman who was reading a book. The woman wore a version of movie Belle’s famous golden dress, but the skirt barely grazed her thigh and the bodice dipped all the way to her navel. Clearly, the image was meant to be of her and Gold.

She stared down at the crude representation, then crumpled it in her fist. It was a cheap attempt at an insult, drawing her to look like some sort of slutty temptress and Gold as a dirty old man. Rage ripped through her in a white-hot streak, and her mind narrowed to a singular purpose: finding out who had done this. Tonight.

Belle shot to her feet, knocking over her chair.

Granny’s Diner was the social hub of Storybrooke, and the best place to get to the bottom of nonsense, but she was far too impatient to wait until the library closed. She chased the last few stragglers out of the library and slammed the door behind her, jamming the key in the lock with shaking hands until it clicked. With frayed nerves, she stomped all the way to Granny’s, the drawing clutched in her closed fist. The early August evening air was warm and humid, and sweat trickled down her back as she marched down Main Street. While she hurried down the sidewalk, she tried to puzzle out who had drawn and sent the picture and why. Rumors and innuendo aside, there was something perplexing about caring so much for Gold and yet holding physical evidence that other people couldn’t see the tender, handsome man she knew.

Small towns produced small minds.

The tables at Granny’s were packed. It was Thursday during dinner rush—the most popular night—and people clustered inside the front door and on the patio outside, waiting for the chance to sit down. All the barstools were occupied, platters and baskets of food sitting in front of every person. Good. Belle wanted a large audience for what she was about to do.

She toed off her heels and climbed up on the counter. Mr. Clark from the pharmacy stared at her in horror, then sneezed and wrapped an arm around an enormous, sauce-covered square of lasagna, drawing it closer for protection. Ruby stood frozen at the cash register, and Ashley Boyd narrowly missed dropping the tray of dirty dishes she was carrying, almost colliding with town psychiatrist Archie Hopper as she narrowly saved the plates from slipping to the floor.

Behind the counter, Granny made an outraged, sputtering noise, the heat of her glare rivaling the sizzling grill. At the moment, it didn’t matter if Granny never sold her another hamburger or slice of chocolate cake for the rest of her life, Belle was getting some answers tonight . She turned around and faced the crowd.

“Who did this?” Belle called out, looking down over the sea of faces. She held up the drawing, still clenched in her shaking fist. The noise continued to drone on around her, the clatter of forks against plates, the townspeople oblivious to anything but their meals and their conversations. “I said who did this?”

“Look, Mommy!” yelled a blonde girl with curly pigtails. “That lady is fifty feet tall!” A hush came over the diner in a languid wave and all eyes turned to stare at Belle standing on the counter. Forks were laid down on plates with a quiet clatter. Time seemed to stand still and no one appeared to so much as breathe.  

“Does anyone want to confess?” she asked, shaking the drawing in her fist and glaring around the restaurant with narrowed eyes.

When no one stepped forward or admitted guilt, she dropped the drawing on the counter and ground it into the tile with her bare heel. “You’re all a bunch of cowards, you know that? Mr. Gold and I are friends, and it’s no one’s business but ours what we do. Your problem isn’t that he’s befriended a woman a few years younger than he is. Your problem is you’re a classless bunch of small-minded prigs.”

Jaws dropped and they gaped at her like fish in an aquarium, then fell back to their eating and chattering as though people stood on top of Granny’s counter raving like lunatics every day of the week.

Her limbs shook with anger, and she caught the sympathetic eyes of Mary Margaret and David Nolan. One minute they were sitting at the counter holding hands and sharing a basket of chicken fingers and the next thing she knew, they were flanking her, standing one on each side, like a pair of orderlies preparing to strap her into a straight jacket and wheel her away.

“Okay, Belle, that’s enough now, honey.” Mary Margaret’s voice was quiet and soothing, and Belle felt her knees begin to give out.

[ashencreature]

Needless to say, when I made Ella back in June, I wasn’t expecting her to get very many partners or last as long as she has! I’m still convinced most of y’all are lost, but as a thank you for being here, I’ve thrown together a bias list of my favorite people under the cut. Thank you guys so so much for sticking around, loving my little sunshine child, and helping us grow and develop together! <3 <3 Without many of you, neither of Ella nor I would be here today! Also keep your eyes open for another surprise coming up soon. 

Section 1: The lights of my life

Aka My absolute favorites who I am keeping forever

@personnages - Lynna, you’re basically the reason I got into rping in the first place! The last 5 or 6 years have been pretty rough for us both, but we’ve stuck through them together and I hope we continue to for a long, long time in the future! I love you so much and you’re without a doubt one of my best friends! 

@annastrxng & @ladyangelaliberty - Lyssa and Angie, oh my gosh I don’t even know where to start! The three of us have also had a pretty rough last few years. But we’ll always have each other and our trip to Hershey to look back on! I miss our all night video chats and talking almost every day. But I love the two of you very much and I’m always gonna be here prodding you to look after yourselves, like a big sister should. 

@ithilwcn - Ayla!! Time sure has flown by, hasn’t it? I know I can be a pain in the ass at times, but you’re always there to listen and keep me company and I love you to death for it?? I love each and every one of your characters and writing with you! Don’t ever change.

@tulog - Ran, gosh, we’re getting to be such fossils, aren’t we? In all seriousness, though, idk where I’d be today if you and Wu hadn’t given me a chance with Wen/Ellie waaaay back in the NRP days. I still adore everyone who was in the group, even if we don’t talk much anymore, or at all. You guys truly are my family and I’ll love you all the rest of my life. 

@nogoodnessimproveme - Ari is literally my favorite Adam ever?? No lie I was intimidated when we first met just because you were so fantastic and I’m an awkward little potato. But you’re for real one of the sweetest people ever, and I would go to war for you ok? I’m so proud of you, and give Stella a big hug for me!

@i-want-adventure / @kit-itskit - Meghan was another one who intimidated me with her awesomeness. We don’t talk much anymore, but I know you’re busy and you have to look after school and yourself first, especially with how bad the last year has been. I hope things get better soon! Your Belle and Kit will always be near and dear to me for helping me find so much with my own Belle and Ella. You’re great and you can fight me!

@charmingisms - Tara is another phenomenal Kit! She’s so true to his charm and sweetness and just the way that he adores Ella. Every time I get a reply from her, I’m grinning like a fool. I wish we talked more ooc, but I adore seeing you!

@ncvcrlctgo - Milla is, I swearm my favorite Ella that I’ve seen so far. I can’t even hold half a candle to her, and the fact that she actually wants to write with me is mind boggling? I love talking with her ooc and plotting things, and just laughing in general. If I ever make it to Brazil we totally have to meet up!

@thewonderingsorceress - Ella is such a great oc! Her character is so complex but true and effortless, and my Ella adores her. And she’s the sweetest person ooc as well. I love chatting ooc and venting about problems. 

@innocentmanwithabounty - Rose is such a darling, and Vin is the cutest thing ever? I’ve never really been big on the old west genre, but Vin is literally to sweet to resist? He’s such a gentleman and all of my girls that he’s met so far adore him. I can’t wait to see what comes for him and Ella!

@safeinmyheartjxr - Allie! From the moment you first messages me about making Miles, I knew we’d be close. I’m super protective of you, and anyone that messes with you has to go through me first! I know things are rough rn with school, but I’m always here if you ever just need to talk. We don’t even have to be writing, ok? I’m always here. 

@villagebeauty - I miss Sam! Her Belle was so sweet and fantastic! And she was such a doll to  talk to ooc. I hope everything is going well for you, darling! 

@roastytoastyprincxss - Amy is such a great Nuka, like?? My inner child just squeals every time I see her on my dash because I feel like I’m watching the movie again. Not to mention, he and Ella are the cutest thing ever! Our poor babies! They’re gonna say screw everyone that hurt them and make it on their own!

@avaloranxchancellor - Raven is such a doll! I don’t know like anything about Elena, Avalor, or Esteban, but I adore him anyway? He’s so polite and gentlemanly. And how protective he is of Ella is the sweetest thing. God knows my poor girl needs it! I can’t wait to see what else we can come up for for them!

@smallmeanssafe - PAPA!!! XD The best Maurice right here, ok? Ella, Belle, and I all adore writing and talking with you, darling!! Plus, I love hearing your ideas for fics and how to make our poor little family suffer. 

@mcrmaidscales - Foxxy is such a great Ariel! I haven’t gotten that far into OUAT yet, sadly. But I can definietly hear the cartoon Ariel coming through in her writing. If the show is anything like this, I’ll love her! Plus like I love her and Ella’s friendship? They’re so supportive and caring, and like sisters should be. Give me Ella being friends with more princesses! I want it! 

Section 2: I just wanna love you

Mainly those, partners and not, I don’t know very well, don’t speak to that often, or just love in general.

@asktheprinceofdarkness - Maddy was so understanding of the fact that I know absolutely nothing about KH, and I’m glad that she was willing to overlook that because Xeha with Ella is so cute. I get the feeling he doesn’t trust easy but the fact that he does her is just the cutest thing!

@mostpeculiarmademoiselleetmsieur - Caity is another fantastic Belle that I’ve looked up to for a very long time! It was amazing getting to write with her on my Belle, and I just want to thank her for giving me a chance and tell her to never change and keep writing no matter what because she’s amazing! 

@the-one-true-queen / @forgottenroyal - Jessi and Alice are fantasic? She’s one of my favorite Ocs that I’ve come across in my like 6 years on Tumblr rping. She’s so well developed and natural, and I’m jealous honestly??

@ellasmxther - Oh gosh where do I even start? When I made Ella, I honestly wasn’t expecting to find either of her parents, or if I did, I figured they’d all be inactive. And when Tara followed me, I had a mini heart attack. I love giving Ella and Elias a chance to spend time with their mom, and hope we get to do more stuff in the future!

@findthebxrd - Ok, talk about screaming! When I first found out there was a Dug blog, I’m pretty sure I cried because Dug is the best, and everything about this is just too precious, too pure, and too perfect. I love having Ella interact with him as a puppy and a dog, and I can’t wait to see how it goes with him as a human! 

@imthelcstprincess - I’ve seen and followed quite a few Rapunzels across my blogs, and Lissa is a great one. She gets the innocence and carefree part of her nature with ease. Plus like I love her fcs! AnnaSophia is perfect for younger Punz, and I honestly wouldn’t have pegged Taylor as being older Punz, but I dig it in a way??

@whatshouldbedone - Kira is another amazing Ella that I can’t believe followed me, and another of my favorites! We don’t write together, although I’d love to! I hope everything is going well for you, dear, and your hiatus is the break you need!

@askjoeharper - Jenny and I haven’t written together other than Joe and Ilse, but she’s very sweet and he is a precious little dear! I honestly couldn’t get through Tom Sawyer, but I adore Joe and I would love to write with both of them again.

@riisingfromashes - Annie is such a sweetheart! I love that her muses are all so different and they all seem amazing! Belle loved Antoinette. I’d love to write with her again as well!

@princebete - Honestly another fantastic Adam that I’ve admired for years! I’m so glad to see that they’re still around and haven’t given him up! Seeing them on my dash is just such a great thing, and I always smile!

@fatherofnarnia - I miss Lina and would love to get to write with her again as well! Her Aslan is fantastic and I’m honestly blown away by how she’s able to do it. 

@sweepthecinders - Aurélie is precious and Ella totally wants to take her under her wing. She’s such a well developed OC and a precious little one! Plus like, writing little kids is hard? But they do it fantastically well! 

@wcnderment - I’ve only interacted with them briefly for Aurora, but I loved it! Her fc was perfect! And she was so sweet how she looked after Ella. I’d definitely love to write with them more! 

Section 3: Those I admire from afar

Mutuals I’d love to interact with and adore seeing on my dash

@flxbber @demoliticnist @scoobydudee @notgettingawaythistime @riffrcffed @prince-kivuli @skidrowflorist @thedonewithsleepingbeauty @gliitchiing @do-i-win-yet @minamxrray @wcstenra @heavensliight @adolescentmxrmaid @sncwkissedqveen @notalone-butfree @ncturebcy @thiingmabobs

[imgilmoregirl]

A Rose of the Forbidden Love

AO3 Link

Chapter 5

“Pregnant?” Father Gold repeated, astonished.

Rosalie pulled away from him, wiping the corners of her eyes, although it seemed worthless, because the tears kept falling. Her whole face had flushed into a bright pink tone and she was visibly shaking. Gold couldn’t believe it, he thought he had found his daughter in time, that he could still do some good in her life, but there she was, crying over the fact she was going to have a child, and he needed to admit to himself, she was never going to be a little girl anymore. She was a woman and soon she would be a mother.

“I know,” Rose mumbled behind her tears, “I’m an idiot.”

“Oh, Rose, you’re not an idiot,” he assured her, brushing some curls away from her face. “Who is the father?”

She took a deep breath and one of the hands that had been helplessly twisting the handle of her purse came up to cover her belly. His glance fell to her middle-section, watching as she mindlessly caressed her own stomach, eyes lost in an invisible point at the altar of the church.

“My ex-boyfriend, Roland.”

“Have you already told him?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I was going to, but then he broke up with me and said he had a fiancée this whole time.”

He felt his jaw tightening as he thought if he found that boy he would make him pay for fooling his daughter and impregnating her, but then he remembered he couldn’t do it, both because nobody knew he was Rose’s father and second because despite of it he was still a priest and he should be stronger than that and not give in to his anger. But it didn’t mean it wasn’t still there, making him feel like his blood was boiling in his veins.

However, before thinking about his own feelings, he needed to consider Rosalie’s and remember what happened with her because of his irresponsibility. He couldn’t let the same happen to his grandchild. Fiancée or not, this boy Roland needed to be involved, or at least have the chance to.

“My sweet child, you need to tell him. He has the right to know.”

“No, Father, he lost the right of knowing about it, by the moment he confessed he played with me.”

This new tone of voice, Gold had never seen Rosalie speaking with before and he shivered to think it sounded just like Belle, when she was being bitter.

“Rose…” he whispered, petting her hair very gently. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” the girl admitted. “I can’t have a child right now, I’ll ruin my entire career.”

His eyes got wild and he swallowed hard. She couldn’t be saying what he thought she was saying. Gold couldn’t allow her to make such mistake. Yes, maybe it was not the right time to have a child, nor the best circumstances, but it was still a whole person and he knew Rose was good and would regret if she got rid of it.

“Are you thinking about - ” he started, unable to finish the sentence.

That was when she suddenly stood up, holding the purse close to her chest as if it was a shield. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes and he wanted more than never to tell her he was her father and he would never let her or his grandchild wish for nothing. Assure her that everything would be fine, because he would take care of them. But yet, he couldn’t do it, because of Fiona.

“I need time to think,” she murmured, avoiding his eyes.

“You need to calm yourself down,” he corrected. “Come with me, let’s get some cookies and warm milk.”

“No, thank you. I need to go home and solve this on my own.”

Rose glanced quickly at him, before making her way out of the church still crying and not knowing what to do.

Not all make in the world could manage to erase completely the dark circles caused by a bad night of sleep, from her eyes, but Rose did her best and went to work in the next morning, hoping it would help to clear her mind. She felt weird, not being alone wherever she went anymore, knowing the child was there, still too small to be noticed, but just waiting to change her whole life.

A little chaos seemed to have been installed at the company that day, something about the Italian fabric for the dresses of the next fashion show being late, so Rose spent the day, watching the other models freaking out as Alice prepared her for a photoshoot. It was almost noon when she sent him to Robin’s office to ask for Gideon and Rosalie found her chief arguing with his wife. She almost stepped back, trying to pass unnoticed, fearing they would yell at her like Belle used to do, but Regina saw her first.

“What do you want Rose?”

“Alice asked me to check if her brother wasn’t here,” she promptly said.

“Care to check on the office next to mine?” Regina asked. “My youngest son is back to the company and Gideon can be helping him settling some things.”

She nodded, obediently and closed the door behind her. Rosalie didn’t know anything about Robin and Regina’s youngest boy other than he studied abroad and had spent some time doing an internship in England, nothing else, but she hoped he was nice as Henry. What Rose wasn’t expecting to find, when she opened the door of his office, however was the scene in front of her.

Kissing people usually didn’t bother her, but today it made her stomach twist and a strong nausea hit her hard. Because there, in the company, was Roland with a beautiful short-haired girl. When he saw Rose, Roland immediately pulled away from the her, his cheeks burning with colour.

“Rose…”

“Roland de Locksley,” she said slowly, eyes burning with unshed tears. “You never fail in surprising me. I suppose this is your fiancée.”

Her head was spinning and she felt as if she could faint at any second. The father of her child was also the son of one of the most powerful couples in town. He was rich and owned the place where she worked – and worse – he knew she worked there this whole time and he hadn’t said a thing. Another proof of how he only saw her as a stupid distraction.

“I’m Ivy Belfrey,” the girl presented herself. “And you must be the start of the company. I’ve seen you in a lot of magazines lately, but I think you should quit the carbs. You’re looking slightly fatter than you seemed to be in the pics. Or maybe it is just the photoshop.”

No, it is actually the baby, she thought, noticing that Ivy looked way more pregnant than her, although she bet the girl shouldn’t be much long into her pregnancy too.

“Yeah, photoshop helps a lot,” Rose murmured. “I was looking for Gideon, but I see he isn’t here, so if you excuse me, I still need to find him.”

She bit down on her lower lip with such strength as she turned on her heels that Rose quickly felt the taste of blood in her mouth, but the physical pain was nothing compared to how much her heart ached in that moment.

Belle moved the pencil through the white paper, creating soft lines as she started to put her ideas into a picture. She was trying to relax, but there were too many things in her mind right now and the delay of the fabrics they so needed didn’t help with getting her in a better mood, nor did the fact the person who just knocked on her door was a rather unwanted guest.

Pulling the pencil and paper aside, she stood up looking directly at the priest as she moved to seat on the huge pink chaise in the middle of her office, tapping a hand to the empty seat beside her in an invitation that he took with some hesitance. She crossed one leg oved the over the other and watched as he sat, uncomfortably there, gaze fixed in his own hands.

“You’re here again.”

“Aye, I’m sorry if I keep bothering you,” Gold started with a sigh, “but I needed to tell you something, Belle.”

“Well, speak then.”

He pressed his hands more firmly together, breathing in and out a couple of times, trying to steady his heart, but she was too close to him and the fact that he had come there with a secret burning on the tip of his tongue didn’t help to keep him calm either.

“I know who our daughter is,” the priest finally confessed.

Belle’s heart skipped a beat, her eyes getting wide as she laid a hand on his thigh to get his full attention.

“You’ve found her?”

“Yes,” Father Gold confirmed. “But I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. It was a secret revealed to me in a confession.”

The hope that had suddenly settled lightly on her chest vanished with those simple words. She knew the church’s rules very well. Adam was not just a religious man, he was priest, and his vows were like a weight on his back, chaining him to a strict law he was fated to obey.

“You must be joking,” Belle exclaimed, angrily. “I have the right to know. I’ve spent years trying to find her!”

“I know, sweetheart, but I can’t say anything.”

“It is unfair,” she murmured, shaking her head. “You came here just to hurt me.”

“No,” Gold assured her, taking Belle’s hands in his and coming a bit closer. “I’m in pain too. I can’t tell her, just as I can’t tell you.”

She saw in his eyes that he was telling her the truth, he was suffering and maybe even more than her, because he knew who their daughter was, he could look at her with the weight of this knowledge and do nothing about it.

“Oh, Adam…” Belle whispered, her face approaching his as she allowed their noses to touch very slightly. “What have we done with our lives?”

For a moment, she thought he would lean forward and kiss her, but then they heard he commotion outside and Adam pulled away, looking at the door with a frown on his face.

“What is it?”

Rosalie was still trying to recompose herself, when the sounds of an argument reached her, but it wouldn’t be much of a surprise for her as everything people did there the whole day was yelling at each other, however when Regina appeared dragging a girl by her arm to the main hall with Henry following them and begging his mother to realise that woman, she noticed things definitely weren’t right.

“This bitch will get the hell out of here,” Regina was saying to her son, hand still wrapped tightly around the girl’s arm.

“Jacinda?” Rose blinked, recognizing her friend and wanting to bang her head against a wall for how stupid she had been. Jacinda should have never come there, but that doesn’t mean Rose was willing to let anybody hurt hear. She stepped forward looking at Regina as if she was mad. “Hey, what are you doing with her?”

Regina looked between the two of them in disbelief. Certainly, the last thing she was expecting was for someone in there other than Henry to stood up to the bartender.

“Do you know this woman, Rose?”

“Yeah, she is my roommate.”

At this point, people had started to gather around them and Rose could see Roland with his fiancée, Ivy standing near one of the opened doors, a mask of shock pulled on in their faces. She saw when Belle and Father Gold came from her office and for a quick second, she wondered why he was there so often.

“This girl was hooking up with my boy,” Regina said still incredulously, but also full of anger. She looked up at Jacinda’s face and yelled: “He is better than you. I’m not standing this.”

“Let her go,” she insisted.

Jacinda made a scared noise of pain as the other woman’s nails dig into her skin and Rosalie didn’t think twice before coming up between them, trying to free her friend. There was a violent push and pull and when Regina finally freed Jacinda the two of them fell to the floor. Rosalie groaned as she sat up again, Father Gold rushing to kneel by her side with wide scared eyes.

“Rose, are you alright, child?” The priest asked, touching her still flat belly. “Are you in pain?”

“No, I’m fine,” she answered, pulling away from him, before anybody could notice his distress and rose on her feet, stretching out a hand to Jacinda to help her doing the same.

“Take this sick friend of yours from here,” Belle French told her in harsh tone, blue eyes narrowing dangerously. “And in the next time I see her around, you’re fired.”

Nodding in agreement, Rosalie dragged Jacinda outside, knowing nobody would ever look at her the same way before today.

Sunday morning after the mass, Rose stayed on her bench until everybody was gone and only the priest was left, setting things in place with some kind of calmness she would never have. The girl approached him very slowly, almost hesitant, feeling rather shameful for being at the church even after she had given herself willing to a guy she met at a bar.

“Father Gold?”

He turned around, a small smile appearing on his lips at the sight of her. The last time they had seen each other was in the middle of that big mess at the company. Not exactly the best circumstances.

“I was wondering if you were really fine after what happened.”

“I am,” she whispered, then took a long breath and paused her hands above her stomach, taking the needed courage to speak up. “I thought you would like to know that I decided to keep the baby.”

He opened his arms and hugged her tightly. Rose never had a father, but she never before felt more like a daughter than she did in his presence and his approval was very important to her.

“That was the right decision, child,” the priest guaranteed her. “You can always come to me if you ever need anything.”

She didn’t move or said anything, because those words were exactly the ones she needed to hear and she wanted to feel safe in his arms just for a while more.

[justsomewhump]

Oh fuck, I’m writing Wish!Hook whump.

“So that’s where all the sounds were coming from.”

Hook and Alice jumped, raising their swords towards the witch.

“Really? A bit of swordplay and you think you can defeat me?” the witch said.

“I’m way more expert at it than you think,” Alice said. Hook swallowed hard. Don’t reveal too much, sweetheart...

“Are you now? I guess I underestimated the offence your father has committed…”

“No! Don’t bring him into this,” Alice said, taking a step forward.

“Alice, don’t,” Hook whispered as he stepped in front of her, covering her with his body.

“No! I’ve spent enough time trapped in here. It’s time-”

“It’s time you learnt to obey me, you insolent brat!” the witch interrupted her with fury. She raised her hand towards Hook, and before he knew it, he was being thrown to the wall, the air escaping his lungs on impact.

“Papa!”

His daughter’s voice rang in his ears like cannon fire. She was never supposed to have any of that burden on her shoulders…

“Ah-ah! Not so fast!”

When he finally gained his senses, he saw chains going around Alice’s wrists and into the wall behind her as she struggled to reach for him. His hand lifted on its own to reach back for her, but right when he tried to move, the witch appeared in front of him in a puff of smoke.

“Look at you. Haven’t you begged me long and desperately to take you in her place? Let her free while I got to hurt you as I wanted?”

“Please…” he said. He already felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“Let’s give her a taste of what that would include, shall we?”

Long years of suffering all kinds of pain had trained him to swallow his screams. At first it was for Liam’s sake, then when he died Hook knew he only wanted to bite back by not giving his tormentors what they wanted: signs of weakness. It would usually lead to more pain, but he had been through a lot to know what to expect and how to control his reactions.

He would never expect he would have to hide his pain from his girl. The anticipation for the hit lasted only a second, but a part of his already broken heart broke further for her.

But he was ready, so when the strike hit he managed to bite back his whole scream. Only a short, soft grunt came through his clenched teeth, even though it felt like his body was being sucked from outside in. He dared open his eyes, and he saw a continuous lightning bolt emitting from the witch’s hands… towards him.

He could hear the crack of the lightning. He could hear the soft pained sounds he was making.

He could hear chains rattling.

He could hear Alice screaming for him.

“NO! PAPA!”

“What is this, pirate? What are you trying to achieve?” he heard the witch say and then the pain doubled. This time one small scream escaped him before he got his wits back and swallowed it down.

Far away. Don’t scream. It doesn’t lessen the pain, it doesn’t make it go away. It never has.

“Papa!”

The pain stopped suddenly, though the impression left on his body by the magic was still apparent, as his breaths were shallow and he couldn’t even speak. He could look and hear though, so when he saw Alice scared but still holding on he managed to nod at her.

I’m fine.

“Oh,” the witch said. “I see how it is.”

Then his vision was obscured by her. Her cold eyes looked deep into him, and he shuddered a little when he saw her smile. His body reacted badly to the shudder, a small moan escaping him.

Then he couldn’t talk. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think.

He had no idea what had happened until he saw the witch in front of him look at the heart in her hands. Was that his heart? How? Why didn’t he-

“Scream,” she said to the heart.

He screamed, though it didn’t sound real. It was short and weak, and the disappointment in the witch’s eyes terrified him.

“Stupid heart control. Do I really have to be so detailed?” she muttered as she stood up. “Don’t fake it. Let it out when I hurt you. Show me how much I’m really hurting you.”

“No,” he managed to say, a tear falling from his eye before the pain came back.

Like knives running up his throat, his voice escaped his lungs in a scream that sounded ear-piercing even to him. His jaw creaked and ached with how much he opened his mouth, and his breaths didn’t seem deep enough. He moaned even as he breathed in, his chest hurting both from the magic and the effort of his own voice, struggling to come out violently.

He couldn’t remember ever screaming like that, not even when he was a little boy suffering the abuse of his captains.

The witch gave him one reprieve. He knew the reason behind it, but he just couldn’t help opening his eyes…

Alice was on her knees, tears streaming down her horror-stricken face. She wasn’t moving, he could barely see her breathe.

“That’s good. Keep on,” the witch said.

Alice started screaming out a few seconds - or it could have been hours - later, and the pain the witch was causing him was nothing compared to listening to his girl screaming.

“PAPA! NO! PLEASE!”

Above his own screams, now distorted from the misuse of his voice, he could still hear her, how she cried and begged and screamed, her voice gradually breaking and going rough too.

The witch kept giving him short reprieves, only for him to look clearly as Alice slowly crept into a ball and cried.

“Papa… papa…”

When he saw her motionless and silent, only looking at the ground with a blank, tear-stained face, he felt what little was left of his heart shatter.

“Alice…” he managed to just whisper.

He only remembered pain after that.

When he woke up it was daytime and he was lying face down on the forest floor. Everything ached, but most of all he felt a burn at the place where his heart was… was it back in his chest?

Where was Alice?

“Rise and shine, ye bilge rat!”

His head whipped around - the rest of his body was too tired to do the same, so he just stayed like this, awkwardly trying to look at the witch.

“About time you woke up. I was tired of skinning squirrels.”

He noticed as she threw a stick with a bit of meat around it on the ground next to her and sat up from a small campfire.

“All this magic and I can’t conjure up food for myself…” she snorted. “How did you sleep? Bad, or horrible?”

He coughed. His throat felt skinned raw. “Where’s Alice?”

“Where we left her. Don’t you remember?”

He… he was… what…

“I took that, remember?” she said as she took out his heart from a pocket. “I worked my magic on it, don’t really need it anymore so here, all yours.”

She threw it at him, and he had no idea how, but his hand managed to shot forward and caught it. His breath hitched a little, feeling a jump in his chest as his heart landed on his hand.

Only a few seconds later did he notice the green stripes around his heart, pulsing with the same rhythm as his heartbeat. He felt cold sweat run down his spine.

“What… what did you do?” he rasped.

“Oh, just a typical curse. Everyone you love will soon forget about you… oh, my bad. You don’t have many of them left, do you? Well then, apart from your daughter, who will spend the rest of her days trapped in that prison, not knowing why she was brought there in the first place, any other person you’ll try to give your heart to will forget about you soon after.”

“Wh-what?”

“And I’ve known you’re a resourceful one. You came this close to killing the Dark One, you found a way to sneak into my prison… but good luck finding True Love to break your curse when all love will ever do is escape you.”

“No… wait, please…”

But the witch was already gone.

He looked at his heart. He should put it back in… or should he? He did feel the burn in his chest, so… was the curse still active even if his heart…

Alice. He had to go, he had to find her…

But if what the witch said was true, if she did stay there, her last memory of him being screaming in pain and then every other being erased… not knowing why she was there…

By all means, he shouldn’t have been able to utter any sound, but his body seemed to ignore all limits as he lay back down and screamed again.

[erule]

Six feet under

 Title: Six feet under

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3.3K+  

Warnings: angst, romantic, OOC Dean, daddy!Dean, daughter, AU     

Summary: Dean’s divorcing from his wife for a lie he told, but they’re still in love with each other and their daughter is the only one who can save this marriage.

Notes: This is the story I wrote for the Fandom Writing Challenge, my prompt was heartfelt apology. This contest is such a great idea! Hope you like it, feedback is always appreciated :) I suggest you to listen to this song while reading.   

 << Please, start telling me your name and why you’re here. >> the woman said, with a British accent, sitting on the couch in front of him.

He raised an eyebrow, then he snorted.

<< Fine. My name’s Dean. >>

<< Go on, you’re doing it right, Dean. >>

He shaked his head, frustrated.

<< I just… don’t understand why I have to tell this. >> << It was demonstrated that patiens acquire more awareness, if they say it. Just follow my lead, okay? It will be alright, I promise. >> she responded, with a little smile.

Dean still wasn’t sure about that, but he remembered the reason why he was there, so he talked.

<< My name is Dean Winchester and I’m here, because my wife asked me to. >>

<< Why did she, Dean? >> she asked.

Dean torched his hands, while his gaze was far away, beyond the wall behind the woman. He was recalling the moment she basically ordered him to go. It was painful. It made him feel like she didn’t trust him anymore. Yeah, he made a damn mess, but he knew for certain that he didn’t want to lose his family.

<< Because I… >> he gulped, stopping. He took a breath, planting his nails in his knees, breaking the fabric of the jeans. Ha was almost having a panic attack. Everytime she screamed, the oxygen began to disappear from the room; everytime she felt betrayed by him, it was like he could fall deep down the ground and she would have been happy about it. If only she could see the way he looked at her, she would have felt his pain like it was her own. But she couldn’t. << I made a mistake. >> he admitted, for the first time, out loud. He looked her in the eyes, glossy and full of suffering. She almost felt bad for him. << I made a mistake and now she’s gonna be taken away from me. >>

<< How does it make you feel, Dean? >> she asked, writing some notes on a piece of paper.

He moistened his lips, while the fingers were slipping away from the knees, red of bood.

<< Lost. Broken. Alone. >> he answered. << Well, sort of. Sam, he’s my brother, is always in the motel’s room with me, annoying me. >> he corrected himself, joking. << He doesn’t want to leave me alone. He’s afraid I could do something bad or dumb again. >>

She nodded.

<< What did you do, Dean? What was this mistake you’re talking about? >>

Dean shrugged, passing a hand on his forehead, clenching his jaw. He didn’t want to relive that night, the night in which his whole life fell apart. The never-ending night. That was its name. Sam called like that, of course: he was the genius in the family.

<< No. I can’t. >> he said, with rough and low voice.

<< Dean, the audience is tomorrow. I have to know, so I can help you. >> she stated, raising from the couch as he got up.

<< You don’t know me, Doc. You’re not gonna save me. >>

She locked her eyes in him and, suddenly, the realization hit her.

<< You don’t think you deserve to be saved. >> she whispered.

Dean swallowed, staring at the parquet.

<< A friend of mine said the same, once. I guess it could be true, after all. The only truth that people seem to believe in. >>

Then, he opened the door and walked away.

 He sat down next to her, a book in his hands. She placed herself better under the sheets, her blonde hair scattered on the pink pillow. He opened the book, echanging a sympathy glance with her. She chuckled, highlighting her dimples.

<< Shh, don’t wake your mom or she’s gonna be very angry at me. >> Dean said, smiling. She put her hands on her mouth, nodding. << Which story do you prefer, tonight, Princess? >>

<< Alice’s. >> she answered, with her acute voice.

<< Why do you like it so much, baby? >>

<< You called me like your car, daddy! >> she laughed. << I don’t now… she’s little, but she’s strong. >>

<< You wanna be strong like her? >>

She shrugged.

<< Maybe. One day. You’ll teach me, right? >>

<< As sure as hell, I will. Starting tomorrow. I’m gonna make you a Led Zeppelin’s tape with all my favourite songs of them. >>

<< Great! Mom hates them. I’m gonna listen to them, when she gets home. >>

<< You look like an angel, but you’re the devil in disguise, Princess. >> She smiled.

<< Now read! >>

<< Don’t be so bossy. I’m gonna read it just for five minutes, okay? Then you’re going to sleep. >>

She agreed, unhappy.

<< Okay. >>

 He entered in the office. She didn’t expect to see him, so he wasn’t surprised when she almost lose her temper, when she looked at him. In his head, while she was walking towards him, he saw a past scene in rallenty: the flower’s crown on her head, the bottle of beer that was falling from her hand, her short dress, her bare feet on the grass, her ravenous eyes. The best night of his life. He wished he could come back to that: nine years from now.

<< What are you doing here, Dean? >> she asked, almost as a murmur, but angrily.

<< I just wanna talk to you, Y/N. >>

<< No. I’m working, Dean. >>

<< You’re always working, Y/N. Last time you didn’t, it was the last day of University. Remember? We had so much fun. >> he whispered in her ear, making her shiver, closing her eyes, but she didn’t fall for that trick.

<< I’m a lawyer, I can’t afford distractions. >>

<< I’ve always been your distraction, sweetheart. >> he replied, while his fingertips were laying on her back, caressing her skin under the blouse.

The minute later, they were closed in the bathroom, his lips all over her body, his fingertips not just on her back and her hands between his hair. Last time he felt her so close to him, not just body but soul too, they were in Chicago, some months before, while their daughter was with his best friend. The good times that now were gone, because of a stupid mistake. His wife hated the white lies, the ones you tell to protect the people you love. But, more of her, his daughter hated them.

 << Uncle Cas? >> she called.

<< He’s coming home, Princess. >> Dean said, taking her hand and kneeling in front of her.

Her eyes instantly filled with tears.

<< Is he dead? >>

Dean shaked his head, drying her tears with a thumb on her cheek.

<< No, baby, he’s returning to his dad. He’s sick and he needs uncle Cas. >>

She breathed out relieved.

<< He did the right thing. If you’d call me, I’d run to you. >>

He hugged her, holding her tight.

<< You’re my beautiful princess, Celeste. I’d kill whoever tried to hurt you. >>

She closed her eyes, laying her head on his shoulder.

<< Auntie Charlie was a pretty girl, daddy. Will I be pretty like her? >>

Dean nodded, with a knot in his throat. Celeste was Charlie’s real name and he gave it to his daughter when she died. She was like a sister, to him. She was the best part of him and when she died, that part died with her too.

<< You’ll be even prettier, because a part of her is with you. >>

Like she was always with him.

 She went out from the bathroom, trying to adjust her clothes, while he was putting on his belt again. She put her hair in a ponytail and that made him laugh a bit.

<< What’s so funny? >> << You always do that when you’re uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable, because you’re divorcing from the man you still love? >>

She took a deep breath, then she turned around to face him.

<< Guess who called me this morning. >>

Dean rolled his eyes.

<< And she said…? >> << She said that you basically ran away from the office. You’re such a bad liar, Dean. If you don’t care about this family anymore, why do you put so much effort in this? Just let go. We’ll be fine. >>

The rage grew up in his stomach. They just proved the world wrong, after what they just did in the bathroom, but she still wanted to hide behind a lie? She was too overprotective. She didn’t want to get hurt and she wanted to keep Celeste safe, away from him and he got it, but hell, she couldn’t just blame him for everything!

<< We’ll be fine? Are you kidding me, Y/N? >> he asked. She tried to talk, but he raised his voice. << I’ve protected you from a decade, Y/N. Don’t say that I don’t love my family, because, someone help me, every damn step I made in these years, I made them for you and Celeste! After I found out… >>

<< Yes! That’s right! That’s the lie you kept telling you and me, that comes out again. You didn’t just find out, Dean. You did it. >> she replied and he noticed that her eyes were tired, circled in red. She was exhausted. << You did it. She meant something to me. >>

He gulped.

<< She meant something to me too. >>

<< You knew I loved her… >> she stopped, holding back the tears, a hand in front of her nose, trying not to cry. << You, Cas and Sam, you did that. I can’t just forgive you, like nothing ever happened. She won’t. >>

<< You’re on her side, even if you’re still in love with me. >>

Her bottom lip trembled, but she nodded.

<< She comes first. You’ve always said that. >>

<< She doesn’t understand, Y/N. Make me talk to her and she will. >> << No. You can’t see her before the audience. She would change her statement. >>

Dean closed his eyes, finally she came clean to him.

<< You don’t want her to change her statement, don’t you? >>

<< I want justice for her. >> she whispered, pointing a finger at him. << And even if I don’t want you in jail, I sure as hell want you miles away from me and Celeste. >>

Dean held her wrist, looking her in the eyes.

<< I’m not a murderer, Y/N. >>

Her gaze was full of hatred, when she spoke.

<< Maybe not, but you covered the murder and you kept it hidden from me. >>

<< You couldn’t handle. >> << You didn’t give me the chance to try. >> she replied, then she wriggled and he remained alone in the alley, his heart falling in his stomach.

 Dean went as soon as Cas called him. Something bad had happened to Charlie and he had to run to her. Sam was already there, according to Cas, his best friend. When he arrived, it was very late. He entered in the garage and he saw Cas’ face, in pain, his clenched jaw and Sam’s eyes circled in red.

<< Where’s Charlie? >> he asked, feeling that his voice was about to crack. A bad feeling was killing him on the inside. He knew that she was gone. He knew it, yet he was hoping that it was just his fantasy.

Castiel pointed a finger at the silhouette of a corpse on the ground, covered by a white blanket. Dean closed his eyes, not able to kneel next to her, to look at her.

<< Dean, we aren’t supposed to be here. >> Sam spoke. << She was killed by the men of Cas’ uncle, while she was undercover. We can’t talk. They found out that she was police, so they killed her. If they’d know that we… >>

<< I get it, Sam. >> Dean said, remaining calm, too much for a man who already lost his best friend, his almost sister. << We’ll handle this. Y/N mustn’t know. >>

Cas crossed his arms.

<< Why? >>

<< She loves… I mean, she loved Charlie so much. She can’t know that a damn criminal killed her. We’ll make up an excuse, like a stroke or a disease. >> << Dean, sooner or later, she’ll find out. >> Sam replied.

<< She’s my wife, so I get to decide for her. She will not know. Try to tell her and I swear, I’m gonna kill you both. >> Dean threatened. They nodded. << Good. Now, let’s get to work. >>

 ***

 Dean closed his eyes, in front of the court. He was about to enter in a room, to listen to a judge who didn’t know anything about his relationship with his wife nor his daughter, but he would have done what the lawyers wanted and he would have taken his daughter away from him. He went to the doctress to learn how to get his family back, but it didn’t help. Even if he tried to say to his wife how he felt, it didn’t work. Y/N found out about Charlie after she heard a phone call between Cas and his dying father. His uncle was in jail by now and he sold out the men who killed Charlie, in order to get released. Y/N, though, questioned their whole marriage, because if he lied to her about something so important, maybe he could have lied about more. He confessed that he knew, but it was the only big lie he told her, he sweared. But that wasn’t the only thing that went worse that night: Celeste heard them and she, that had this sort of “myth” about her beloved aunt Charlie, got so angry, she yelled at Dean. She understood that he lied to her mom and that he lied about Charlie. That was the moment in which his heart fell into pieces.

Y/N arrived with her black tailleur, holding Celeste’s hand. He got closer, while Sam was arriving too. Y/N tried to avoid him, but he stood in front of them.

<< Hey, how are you? >> he asked, trying to fake a smile.

<< Let us walk, Dean. >> Y/N replied.

<< Can I talk to Celeste for one minute? >>

<< No. >>

<< Oh, come on, Y/N! You’re about to take her away from me forever, can I just talk to her for five minutes? >>

She snorted, then she looked at her daughter. Celeste nodded.  

<< I’ll give you two minutes. >>

<< Fine. >> Dean said, then she went away and he kneeled down, in order to face his daughter. << Hey Princess, how are you? >>

<< Good. >> she answered, without looking at him.

<< Why are you not looking at me, Celeste? >>

She looked at the ground, her hands behind her back.

<< Because I don’t want to cry. >>

Dean breathed out, sad.

<< Listen, baby, you know I will always love you, right? I will love you even if the world would crumble down. If this is what your mother wants, I will find another apartment, I will see you when I will be allowed to. I will, I swear to you, that I will. But I don’t think that this is what she desires. She’s just very angry at me. >>

<< Mom warned me. You’re not gonna make me change my mind or hers. >> Celelste replied, looking at him fiercely. He really was his daughter, after all: determined, strong.

<< You really are like me, don’t you? >> he asked, smiling. She shrugged. But, if she was like him, she wanted honesty. She wanted to feel loved, to open up. She wanted the painful truth. << I’ll give you the speech, Celeste. I’m sorry. I already told your mom a hundred times, but it wasn’t needed. I apologize to you from the bottom of my heart, because Charlie was important to you too and I should have told you about her. I should have told you now, when you’re grown and you can understand things better. >> Dean said, giving her the heartfelt apology she deserved and her eyes became glossy and red. << The night we met for the first time, the night you were born, I swore to protect you from this world, because I’m you father and that’s my job. And I will always do it, no matter what. But if you don’t talk to your mom today, I won’t be able to do it properly. I will see you just sometimes and I will have to miss you every damn day. I don’t know if your mom would change her mind, I don’t know if you still love me, maybe I’m just so selfish, but I feel good only when I’m with you. >> he continued and Celeste’s cheeks were wet of tears. Dean’s voice cracked at the end, but he wanted to let her know everything. << And when I’m without you, it’s like my heart is six feet under the ground. That’s how it would feel, if I’d no longer be your dad. >>

Celeste sobbed and then, she hugged him. She hugged him so tight, her knuckles went white. The tears were burning behind his eyes, but feeling so close to her, made him feel already better.

<< Celeste? >> Y/N called. << Honey, what’s wrong? Dean, what did you do? >> she asked, scared.

<< Don’t do it! >> Celeste screamed. << I love you, dad. Don’t do it, mom! I don’t want him to go away! >>

Y/N exhaled, thinking about what to do. They had to enter in that room, to talk about the case. She couldn’t just blow it.

<< Can I talk to you for a second, Dean? >> she asked.

He dried his tears with a thumb, leaving his daughter with Sam. He smiled at her, while he was dissolving the embrace. He reached his wife, who was biting her bottom lip, confused.

<< You lied to me, Dean. I know that you wanted to protect me and Celeste, I know that Cas is trying to handle the situation with his family, but I’m scared. I’m scared that he could find you and then us and… >>

<< You think that pushing me away would help? >> Dean asked, in disbelief.

She breathed out, looking anywhere but him.

<< I thought it could be easier for you. If you thought I hated you, you could run away without looking back. >>

Dean closed his eyes, passing a hand on his face.

<< You were protecting me. >>

She nodded.

<< I tried. >>

<< That’s why we got laid in that bathroom, yesterday. I was right. You never stopped loving me. >>

She nodded, again.

<< You’re so cheesy, Dean. Like in the letters you wrote me during college to ask me out. >> << Well, tell me they didn’t work. >> he said, with a smirk. She chuckled.

<< They worked, when you bought the tickets for a certain concert you remember. >>

<< Hell yes, it was the first time we… >> he was saying, but then, she cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him, leaving him breathless. Celeste shouted and Sam laughed, behind Dean. << …kissed. >> he finished, when she left him to breathe.

<< I’m fucking in love with you, Dean Winchester. >>

He smiled, happy.

<< Me too, baby. >> he decide to call her like his car, because his daughter didn’t love that nickname very much, but she seemed to. << Me too. >>  

[josephinesrphub]

"I know he is dead. I watched him die. He was hit by a train. I'm the one that pushed him. And I hope he's rotting in hell, suffering for all eternity for his crimes." Alice speaks, voice filling with venom. "He assaulted my sister numerous times, stalked her. Broke into our house, killed her, killed our parents, and left me permanently scarred, an orphan. He shattered my mind, left it in pieces, and carried on with his life while I rotted in a cell for ten years, only to try to continue to break my mind further after I was released. I had every reason to kill him, and he was left a puddle of blood on those tracks. I told him I'd see him arrested. But that was too good for him. Nobody would believe me anyway. So I'll tell you again. He is dead. He can't harm anybody anymore but himself."

The world changed again, and it was revealing a different scene. Alice, not much older than the last Alice. She was furious. If they didn't look directly at her, they could see it from the corner of their eye. Wonderland blooming around her, bleeding into the natural world.

"I'll see you charged. In prison, some half wit bruiser will make you his sweetheart, and then you'll hang!" The other Alice spoke, voice full of the same tone the current Alice had adopted just now. They seemed to be arguing, and the other Alice walked up, taking the key from his hand, before turning to leave. Then she stopped, turning back around. She was her Wonderland self, and it had bled completely into the natural world. The man looked shocked, backing up, closer to the edge of the tracks. The other Alice walked forward, forcing him back further. A train whistled, getting closer. THUNK! The Alice shoved him, in front of the train, and he was gone, splattering her with blood. She looked annoyed, and merely left, going back up the stairs.

"You see? He is dead." Her tone had quieted, at this point. She couldn't stay angry at Lucifer. He was only trying to help, of course. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so cross."

Alice​:

“I don’t have to worry about him, you’re right. Because he’s dead. The man who stole my inheritance, that you ruined.. He’s a different person who wronged me. And since you’re going to figure out eventually, since we’re here, how exactly Doctor Bumby died.” She replies. Though her look hardened, at Luci’s final words. “Absolutely not. I’m no whore.” She said, shaking her head. “I had no intention of being sold in the back alleys of London to some nameless pervert.” Then she looked to him. “However.. I am grateful we met. You make me feel wanted.” Her gaze softened.

He shook his head, she couldn’t think that, it was one thing not to correct her when she was excited but he didn’t want her to think something false, or to think he could do something that he couldn’t. “He isn’t dead, he wishes he was but he isn’t dead. However this does make it easier, then you know for sure he is being punished very much.” She would slip into hell and punish him personally when Alice was asleep now that she knew, she truly wasn’t omniscient, why people thought she was, or thought she thought she was, always confused her.

“Even if Dear old Dad hadn’t forbidden any angel from killing a human, I still would never do such. It isn’t my place, punishment is and you can not learn if you die, it isn’t punishment then.” She did shake her head a bit, chuckling even with the harshness, “It was a jest, though when I said do I owe you I wasn’t really thinking money Darkling.” No, she meant something far more personal. A single hand moved and rested on her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze. “Darkling, I’ve never met anyone like you, in all of eternity. If anyone is grateful it’s me, and I will always be here for you.”