#Aight. Historical men. What can I say

[rmelster]

‘Quick’, ‘easy’, ‘sketch’ I made of Simon Bolívar “El Libertador”, renowned historical figure, for a tiny El Zorro AU I was making about him. The oval portrait on the background portrays María Teresa del Toro Alayza, his beloved deceased wife.

[theolivechickken]

Come to Salzburg they said. It will be easy they said.

Brace yourself: here’s week 1.

Jan 15

Scarfed down an egg, cheese, and spinach cake-looking omlette before running upstairs for German. Katharina printed out little character cards and we had to translate them out loud to each other.

Hallo, mein name ist Brigitte (also had to spell my name out in German). Ich bin dreiundsiebzig Jahre alt. Ich komme aus Klagenfurt, Kärnten.

Oof why are numbers so difficult? Hopefully I’ll get the hang of it. It’s pretty easy if you know 1-10 but you have to know 1-10 and I don’t yet.

I like our Austria in Europe class. Normally, I think history is boring and it’s hard for me to stay engaged, but I thought it was really interesting how we opened the class. Wolfgang asked us, “What does history mean to you?” For me it’s a recollection of individual stories and how they play into the greater picture/shape society, as well as how society shapes individual’s stories. We also had a debate and discussion on how is identity formed. I’m glad we’re in a small lecture class. I almost never speak aloud in discussions/class, but I feel pretty comfortable speaking up in our group.

Remind me not to drink 2+ cups of black tea in one sitting. I was wayyyy to hyped on caffeine. Kinda felt like I shaking like that squirrel from Over the Hedge.

Oh my, our Sights and Sounds of Salzburg class was a looooooong one. Our professor has a thick accent so it’s hard to keep up and understand what she’s talking about. Sometimes she would ask a question and we wouldn’t know that she did until she just kept staring at us. We flipped through a thousand slides of historical art pieces.

Since we ended class at 15:30, there wasn’t much time to go out into the city before dinner. We ended up hanging out in the house to do homework or take a break before going out to Paul Stub’n. I had chicken, a baked potato, and a light salad.

Let me start by saying I have never seen any full length mirrors since we arrived here. So in the bathroom, you can understand that I was confused by the mirror and thought it was a weird hallway to another part of the bathroom. Only till I actually walked up to it and TOUCHED IT did I see my reflection and realized OH it’s a mirror and I’m dumb. Glad Aubree was there to witness it. We were dyiiing.

After dinner, we navigated through the city and found the lift on the other side of the mountain. We rode the elevator up since Aubree’s knee hasn’t been the happiest lately. Up on the Mönchsberg, we walked the scenic backway and found a museum as well as a stunning view of the city at night (photos will never do this place justice).

Jan 16

Had another egg, cheese, potato cake-looking omelette for breakfast and hiked up the stairs to German. For our Austria in Europe class this morning, we took a walk on the Mönchsberg and stopped at sites that had historical backgrounds and were essential to Austria/Salzburg’s development. He also pointed out the Eagle’s Nest and the church that was used in the Sound of Music (but the inside of a different church was used for interior scenes).

We trekked back to our building and had a potatoey crispy mac and cheese-esque dumpling casserole thing for lunch. I wished I knew the names of the foods Marcus cooked for us.

After this lunch break, we continued our Austria in Europe class and had a history lesson on the Habsburg family. My background on European history is rough/ basically non-existent since the last time I studied it was early-on in high school and I never retained any information because it was a butt-load of history to remember. So I’m happy to be getting another crash course. Turns out the Hapsburgs were a family who happened to be at the right place at the right time They managed to come into power and dominate the Holy Roman Empire for 600 years.

Nadia, Raine, Aubree, Patrick, and I went out to hang and do homework at a coffee house but ended up walking around town and stopping at Spar to buy chips and snacks. I need to learn how to ask, “Can I pet your dog?” in German. I keep seeing too many good bois, big woofers, and smol puppers that are all SO well trained and absolutely adorable. When we walked out of the grocery store, we found a little long-haired dog tied to a bench. Patrick went up to pet it while the rest of us stared and admired from a distance. We walked through the Hospital parking lot (and realized just how small this town is and how all these separate pieces of the city are finally connecting to a solid map) and then hung out at a little pastry shop before crossing the street to meet the rest of the group at the Aug (Augustiner braü).

Inside, there was a whole wall lined with small and large ceramic beer mugs (Steins?). You picked up a mug, washed it out in this grand sink station, paid 3-5 euros at the stand, and then walked over to the bar where the guy would fill your glass up from the tap. Honestly it was pretty good. 10/10 recommend and would come back- and the food wasn’t too bad either. I got a Riesen Käsekrainer mit senf (basically a giant sausage with cheese and mustard). Patrick and I also went to a stand to get some fries. I was confident in my German and ready to order and then I panicked mid-sentence but the lady still understood what I meant.

Jan 17

COME TO SALZBURG THEY SAID. IT WILL BE EASY THEY SAID. Our sounds of Austria professor just dropped a homework bomb on us. And the binders she passed out for our class are so unorganized (my OCD is killing meeeee). Why am I already overwhelmed with classes? I’m hoping this week is just chaotic from trying to adjust and process everything as well as from trying to establish somewhat of a routine. On the bright side, we had more comfort carbs for lunch (pasta with red sauce, bacon bits, and broccoli).

We ~finally~ ventured out to get our sim cards. Managed to buy a ticket and hop onto the bus (but am I supposed to scan my ticket or something?). Wasn’t sure what our stop was for the train station, but I was happily along for the ride (no need to stress yet folks). Salzburg is an interesting city. It’s always suuuuper quiet. People walking around town are silent. Individuals and families sitting on busses don’t talk. In restaurants, volume is kept to a minimum. I’m sure we all look crazy just existing out in the streets as Americans especially since we like to talk and travel in groups. It was quiet on the bus, but the ride was calming and it was nice to see parts of the city that we hadn’t seen before. Also, we saw some cute babies all bundled up and smiley. They look like miniature Michelin Tyre men.

We missed our stop for the train station?? So we just got off at the last stop which was the Europark (the large indoor mall). We stopped at the A1 store to get sim cards, but it was a hassle with such a large group and so many of us not really knowing what we need or what we’re getting. It sounds like we were trying to get one plan but ended up with a different one since the guy misinterpreted us? I’m still confused, and I feel like I spent a lot of Euros, but my phone works abroad now and it’s only a month plan so if it doesn’t work out or I don’t use/need all it’s perks I can just change it when the plan is up.

The mood drastically changed from when we went in, to when we came out. A lot of stress for both us, and the poor two workers who were trying their best to help us out. We hopped on a bus to head back to Old Town. Got off and scrambled to find a quick restaurant to eat at before attending a concert. Some split off to McDonalds, and some of us went to a fish food store. I ended up getting a fried fish sandwich thing, but it was either served cold, or cold from sitting too long. It was aight and definitely cheap. I’ve been missing fruit and veggies in my diet. I think Marcus does his best to include them in our meals, but I could really go for a smoothie.

How to save money by going out :)

don’t go out

get kids meals

fast food

street food

Also, here’s the rundown on the types of places to eat:

super fancy restaurants

sit down restaurants

sit down coffee houses

take out coffee houses

fast food

street food

We met up with the rest of the group in front of Haus für Mozart (Kleines Festspielhaus) for the concert: Bergen Philharmonic Orchestra. It’s quite an experience sitting at a concert. I think so many of us are used to having a lot of visual stimulation, but this was mainly a listening experience. Of course, you can watch the musicians playing their instruments or the conductor throwing his body into the music, but it’s a different kind of visual that we are not used to. The music was lovely, but it was also long. We were supposed to take notes throughout the concert, but I kept getting lost in thought or lost in the story of the music. Or maybe just lost. At some points it really was just music and I didn’t really know how it made me feel or think.

[evilwickedme]

Jews in Modern Media: A Discussion - Repost

Aight so this is a really old post I made in like? 2015? on a blog that is now private, and I recently was asked to repost it so a few notes:

A. Don’t take everything here in face value. It’s a bit more complicated than this. It’s still pretty accurate as an overview, but do your own research, if it’s a topic that interests you.

B. A lot of issues that should be explored in this post aren’t, and that includes: Jewish poc, in general the fact that Jewish people don’t fit in to the poc/white people dynamic, and the whole Jewish actors not playing outright Jewish characters and the other way around. Also, Jewish coding isn’t outright mentioned. In general, as I said, it’s a very general overview.

C. There isn’t any mention of Fantastic Beasts or Wonder Woman and I beg of you, please keep it this way.

D. I also edited it, so if you’ve seen this post before, there’s no new content, but hopefully it’s a little more coherent and accessible to gentiles.

Alright?

This all started when a friend complained to me about the representation of Jews in American media. He linked me to an Idea Channel video and said:

…every minority is getting their time in the spotlight, but Jews are still off to the side. It’s like the world is saying “The world is diverse! But Jews are still all white and assimilated” or only defined by the Holocaust (i.e. Magneto) and/or by Israel. But that’s totally untrue! If Ms. Marvel is awesome for being the first Muslim character to headline a comic (which she is), why not so with an openly Jewish Jew?

He complained to me that a lot of what’s discussed in the video hasn’t been applied to Jews yet, saying: “I want Menorah Man! (Actually I don’t, cause that would suck.) But you know what I mean!” and that all you could see were Jews who were “Very Borscht Belty or Super Charedi.”

I did know what he meant. The very idea of Menorah Man sucks because it stills pigeonholes Jews. We’re defined only by the most Christian holiday (more on that below). But that would still be infinitely better than the situation we have currently: Jews who aren’t actually allowed to be Jewish.

Let’s start with the actual portrayal of Jews in media. At the time I couldn’t remember a single non Ashkenazi Jew. I’m sure that I heard of a case but I couldn’t actually remember what it was. He was right about the two extremes, except that there’s one clear preference for one side (which would be non-Jewish Jews). Charedi are almost never main characters (I remember one movie with Jessie Eisenberg, but that’s it). The truth is, in American media, Jews aren’t supposed to be religious.

I’d actually talked about this all in a really old thread on a shared facebook group, where this same friend had asked:

 How do you guys feel about the portrayal of Jewish Characters (especially religious Jews) in media? I also find it interesting that being openly Christian or Muslim in media is becoming more favorable, and those types of characters are becoming more complex, while Jews are still stuck in stereotypes, for the most part. Thoughts?

My answer:

“Oh man, you’re talking to the right girl here. I’m going to focus on television because that’s my expertise but most of these are transferable to all kinds of plot driven media. Ok. So. Here’s the thing: television as a whole doesn’t know what to DO with Jews. There’s a trope called You Have to Have Jews -the basics of which are that everything has to have Jews because there are so many Jews in Hollywood. However, most prominent Jews in Hollywood are only allowed to be Jews in so far as the comedy aspect of it - you know what I mean. The Big Bang Theory is an excellent popular example of it. Crooked nose, Brooklyn accent, overbearing, fat mothers who are all, somehow, Ashkenazi. The reason for this is actually partly our own fault - as a method of survival, Jews have taken self depreciating humor to a whole new level, which has simply caught on. You know the rule of the n word - only black people are allowed to call themselves that? In Hollywood, that separation simply never happened. That rule was never set in place, because the Jews had been making fun of themselves for so long, and then when the white people came along they thought “we can too”. And once a race becomes a joke in Hollywood, it stays a joke. And the thing is unlike with LGBTQA and Black/Asian/Latinx communities, there is simply no awareness of the problem. Antisemitism stops plenty of people from listening to the few who try to change things. I have seen very few convincing Jews on television. Mostly, Judaism is treated in the “You’ve Got To Have Jews” throwaway line sense. For example, Willow Rosenberg. Her name sounds Jewish, she mentions she’s Jewish once or twice in the second season, and she puts a rock on a grave. In seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (more, if you count the comics, and I do) that is every reference to her Jew-ness, and I just did a rewatch. Anyway, what I meant with not knowing what to DO with Jews is more complicated than that. Basically, despite the abundance of Jews in Hollywood, the antisemitism pushes any of them who are actually practicing to never admit it. This means that Jews never do anything, well, Jewish. (I can think of very few instances where Jewish customs are shown and they all link to either funerals or Hannukah, which are, apparently, the only holidays Jews celebrate, ever.) This means that Jews in television generally a. celebrate Christmas, b. adhere to some stereotype or another, and/or c. have no Jewish identity besides parentage. Most of the time they’ll have typically Jewish names (but not always!). I know for a fact that there ARE practicing Jews in Hollywood - and yet, no Jewish character is ever seen in Synagogue or wearing a Kippah. Appearances of main characters as Jews that fit in to this are: The aforementioned Willow Rosenberg from Buffy, Howard Wollowtz from the Big Bang Theory, Zoe Hart (who is said to be half Jewish and yet manages to fit in to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE CRITERIA) from Hart of Dixie, Felicity Smoak from Arrow, Annie Edison from Community, Rachel Berry from Glee. Jewish characters who appear in one episode and whose jobs are to Be Jewish are excluded from this, as are Ultra Urthodox. But I’ve only seen the first once and the second twice. As for why there are only Ashkenazi Jews, it’s because there are only Ashkenazi Jews. It’s actually very much circular.”

(Note from present me: here I could’ve easily discussed Jewish-coding, but since this is already long enough, another time.)

The wide variety of Jews that exist in Real Life aren’t portrayed on TV. And while those variety of other minorities are coming out slowly, Jews are lagging behind. Jews are allowed to be Jewish either as long as they eat pork or as long as they have no contact with other, non Jewish people.

The friend responded, saying that was the problem in the first place: there’s no middle ground. No Sephardi Jews, no Modern Orthodox. He blamed it on the “Jewish Media Conspiracy”, but I said it’s a little more complicated than that.

I then gave a little historical background. I assumed that my friend knew that Hollywood was built by Ashkenazi Jews, but I asked him if he knows why.

See, back then there were tons and tons of Ashkenazi Jews coming in from all over Europe. A lot of them were coming to Israel in waves called the Aliyot but most of the Jews leaving Europe were heading towards the INCREDIBLY RACIST US of A. So, once again finding themselves in a country where they had no place that wanted them, Jews headed towards the as of yet incredibly undeveloped Hollywood and LA and built it. They took an unfilled niche and made it their own, mostly because they couldn’t do much of anything else.

My friend compared it to money lending, which was a very, very good comparison. For those of you who don’t know what the whole money lending issue is: in old Europe Jews were pigeon-holed into money lending because Christians weren’t allowed to do it. Jews pretty much weren’t allowed to do anything else vis a vis earning a living, and eventually money-lender and Jew became synonymous. That is the source of the common stereotype of Jews being greedy: because of something they couldn’t help in the first place.

The fact that they created Hollywood, of course, is the source of  both You’ve gotta have Jews and the idea that Jews Control the Media (well, at least in its American form - the idea already existed in many ways). Now, most of these Jews weren’t religious, often because they viewed religion as the thing that was killing them by the millions in Europe. This was before the Holocaust, just to be clear - what we’re talking about is a reaction to the Eastern European Pogroms and the rise of a new type of racial Antisemitism in the west, which at the time seemed to be about religion. Of course the new Antisemitism is more complicated, and so are the reasons they distanced themselves from religion, but still. So the Jews who were building the foundations of Hollywood did the two things they did best: Made good movies, and made fun of Jews. There’s a long tradition of Jews making fun of themselves, as a coping mechanism. But! Suddenly all of these vaguely Christian white men realized that OMG, Hollywood is becoming a thing. And when they took control, Jews were still being made fun of, but now, instead of being in on the joke, they were made the butt of the joke. Stereotypes, which had at first been introduced by Jews as a sort of “in joke”, were made to be and portrayed as the rule. So Hollywood continued of course, and you probably know much of the next part of the story: the civil rights movement and second wave feminism in the sixties and early seventies changing the amount of women and black people seen on TV and to a certain extent on the big screen. Again, in the late eighties/early nineties, with the beginning of third wave feminism, more (mostly white, probably all cis-het) women on TV and movies alike, slowly many more black people and slowly, other minorities such as asians and hispanics. But during this entire time, JEWS WERE STILL BEING THE BUTT OF JOKES. There has never been a time in which there weren’t Jews in popular media and THIS, THIS, is the root of the problem. Antisemitic jokes are so ingrained into popular culture that they’re literally older than sliced bread. Jews weren’t ever slowly introduced to popular culture, and so there doesn’t seem to be anything to fix.

But of course, he said, there is something to fix.

And there is.

“Me: As for specifically that video, except for the problem that he mentioned pretty much every minority but Judaism, it’s not his fault.

Friend: Because of all of what you just mentioned.

Me: Yep. I should also say that anytime any voice speaks out against antisemitism they are often shot down with the same “Jews control the media” arguments, which is why so few people speak out, which is why the same arguments can be recycled.”

[wordswithoutaddress]

why i’ve only ever liked non-Christian men.

This topic is a lil strange to me--and definitely weird to consider and reflect upon. I am someone who identifies as a Christian, have been engaged with the Church for most of my life, and have served/worked in ministry for roughly eight years. For as long as I can remember I’ve been advised to date a Christian man, someone who shares my love of God and would seek to keep God at the center of our relationship. 

For as long as I can remember when I thought about the person I’d fall in love with, I always pictured a man who loves God. So how peculiar it is that I’ve only ever liked non-Christian men lmao. I mean don’t get me wrong I’ve had little crushes/was interested in getting to know Christian men more, but I’ve never actually liked one. 

In my reflection, I have found myself stumped time and time again. “Yeah sooooo, why have I only ever liked men/been in relationships with men who don’t claim Christian faith?” Side note, I also think that it’s very interesting that most if not all of the men that I’ve liked have either been agnostic or atheist--they were people who did not even claim to be spiritual/claim another faith tradition. Weird shit huh? 

As I’ve thought about why all of this might be the way that it is, I think I have uncovered a few things aka a few possibilities for why this might be so. I’ve found it extremely helpful to consider the type of men that I like/characteristics that I am attracted to and compare this to my experience of Christian men in my lifetime. The contrast points were actually quite noticeable. Please note that my words are not fully encompassing of all non-Christian men, nor are they of Christian men--these are just things that have been true in my overall experience. The following introspection moments are in no particular order:

1. I have come to realize that I really like men who are into fashion/self-expression and many of the Christian men that I have encountered have viewed these things as materialistic and therefore frown upon it--this is extremely unfortunate to me because this is a whole ass conversation. I don’t think that all of our worth should be placed in material things, but I do think that fashion/self-expression can be an incredible way to lean into who we are and can serve as a way for us to be creative.

1.1 On another note relating to fashion there is a correlation to what is deemed as appropriate wear aka conservative views (which correlates to the overwhelming conservative Christian stance on a lot of things lmao). As I expand my own self-expression and fashion I have found it fun to experiment with my look and sometimes what I like to wear as far as make-up and clothes can be deemed as “unnecessary,” “un-Godly,” or “destroying of the natural beauty that God gave” me. I honestly feel like there aren’t a whole lot of Christian men who I’ve met who are supportive of womxn having the freedom to do what they will with their fashion, makeup, etc., choices. Hmmmm I wonder what that means bigger picture *said sarcastically*

1.2 Also, side note, I have recently found a soft spot for tattoos and if you are familiar with traditional Christianity, there has historically been a lot of backlash for getting tattoos because a lot of old ideology says that it is sinful to “mark your body.” I think that this widespread belief in the Church has contributed to a lot of Christian men not getting tattoos (at least the ones that I’ve encountered).

2. I also find that I deeply enjoy music. Don’t get me wrong I love a good Christian bop and Worship is a huge part of my faith experience/connection to God, but I also appreciate other genres as well. I used to be really into Indie, but now I would describe my main music tastes as r&b (especially indie r&b), hip-hop, rap, and soul/neo-soul. Similar to fashion, most of the Christian men that I have met have not taken to liking the aforementioned music genres because they, as well as myself, have often heard that these music tastes are “sinful”--again, a WHOLE ass conversation, but I won’t get into that right now.

3. Now a big one, get ready *lets out deep breath* I think a big thing that I’ve noticed is that I am attracted to men (but also drawn towards individuals in general) who are cognizant of social issues and find themselves in a constant state of active learning. I also deeply appreciate it when people are constantly finding ways to engage with doing something about those issues, particularly in the way they live--this can look like: how one navigates conversations in interpersonal relationships, advocating/practicing activism, engaging in empowerment, using art as a medium for social justice, etc., I am sad to say, but most of the Christian men that I have met fall into two boats: boat A where they do not believe that social justice and reconciliation are central to the Christian faith or boat B where they believe that it is important but they aren’t leaning into their full potential of what that looks like. I’m not saying that there is no grace in people engaging in social change/transformation--no one is perfect and we are all certainly learning--but there is a notable difference when someone isn’t living into the message that they proclaim, it’s not always so clear cut and there’s a lot of gray area involved, but I do believe that it is observable.

Although this is a topic that I hope to continue reflecting upon, this is what I have come up with so far. In sum, I think that I had framed a lot of questions in an inward fashion saying, “Why don’t you like Christian men?” or “Why do you seem to always sway towards non-Christian men?” but then I had a big revelation. There are things that all of this says about me, but this also says something about Christian men (that’s the mfkin tea ya’ll !!) I think it’s sad to say that my experience with Christian men hasn’t been very diverse and that most of the ones that I have met are similar in ideology, theology, doctrine, practice, and lifestyle. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if I do end up liking a Christian man he better be ready to have a whole ass, deep conversation (or 50) about theology and the Christian faith. AND if I end up liking that Christian man, I cannot be his sole teacher because I am looking for a partner not a student--again we are all learning, but there is a difference folks! I stan men who are open to learning and growth but are also able to step up and do something about what they’ve been learning. Imperfection is no excuse for complacency and that’s the mfkin tea! Until I find a (single) Christian man who encapsulates what I am seeking, looks like I’ll be into non-Christian men till then lmao, aight I’m outtie now lol, gbye pals.