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thekitschdiet · 4 years ago

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the kitsch diet part II

part one alr posted!! this chunk is about 3,000~ words long... let me know what u think :-) thank u all for all the luv already!!! looks like I really will hit 31 followers by easter!!!!!!!!

Who is the Kitsch Girl?

I think this is more loosely defined, but The Chic Diet did a truly admirable way of reducing a girl to her YSL bag and her really skinny legs. Now, that implies an archetype, or a population in a specific location. I think kitschness is kind of the niche you fill when you’re not really much of anything else, sort of your own conglomerate of mainstream-specific. One major requirement, though, is being a little too into something somewhat uncool. And the whole illusion falls apart if you have any sort of outward insecurity. See, the Kitsch Girl is somewhat undefinable because she is so much of everything. She exists in multitudes, in a way that is also quite simple to understand; think of a list of axioms, or principles to live by. And now add a section to each one that says “but…” to make a collection of verified exceptions. Say, the kitsch girl will never wear jeans. But she thrifted this pair of vintage flares she just loves. She doesn’t reply to texts efficiently, but sometimes she will within a couple seconds. No mascara, no dinner forks, candles are to be collected not burned; but that was a gift, or something. It’s not personal, of course, those are just the contradictions she exists in. Don’t try to understand it, the enigma is essential to the facade. Or maybe she just lives like this, and her character is so homogenous with her inner world there’s no sense in trying to separate it. You have to have a little bit of an individuality complex about the whole ordeal, which is normally so eugh, but if you’re kitschy enough it works on you. Trust!The Kitsch girl is not someone unlikeable, but amiable and well heeled. I double checked that last one, assuming it meant liked by most, but apparently means affluent. I suppose that is an aspect of the kitsch girl too, having seemingly endless frivolous expenses with no real strain, but that’s not important right now. People that don’t like her think so out of jealousy, or something. Envious that her clothes are all kind of shake-it-up-esque and her highlights desperately need touching up, but she still seems so enthralled with the whole of life… How does she enjoy her own company so much when other people want to know her better? Doesn’t she feel weird about blowing people off to make a joke about reading Kafka in the bath? Why would she document her cluttered, unexciting life on Instagram so delicately, so vibrantly? Of course, no one would say this to her face because they are really baseless claims. She’s nice, generous, and valuable to have as a friend. Trade-offs exist, as they do with anyone. But I like thinking it’s easier to overlook a forgotten birthday when your kitschy best friend gave you a multi strand pearl necklace to celebrate the welcome breeze of June. Or some other made-up holiday. She is so unassuming if you’re not really looking. Girls want in on her inner circle. Or they just don’t care. Nothing wrong with being liked or thought of naught, for the most part. Boys are either enthralled or repulsed by her. Her doctor knows her as something of a hypochondriac, but only minorly. It’s just carpal tunnel, don’t worry… The sales staff at CVS turn a blind eye when she slips an eyeliner pencil into her tote bag. She shoplifts on occasion, just to see if she still knows how. But she is not a shoplifter. $9 here and $6.45 there doesn’t really add up to much. Everywhere she goes, she makes a tertiary friend or two. The term of friend is loosely used here, of course. But it is nice to tell a stranger you like her earrings. Or her phone case is so fun, is it Wildflower? The kitsch girl has an eye for this kind of detail. Simply put, she is sort of unspectacular. But in a way that makes you sort of wish you knew her better.

Phone cases

The phone case is, like, religious for the kitsch girl. Sorry, but there’s just no other accessory as flippant and expensive and single-purpose as a trendy little iPhone case with some semitacky stickers plastered over the design. I used to have an iPhone XS- extrasmall- with like, 18 phone cases. It was kind of a sordid affair. I jest, but really… owning that many phone cases was kind of sick. We get it, you are frivolous and spontaneous and sooo stylish! Stop posting mirror selfies on your Instagram story, your crush isn’t going to see it. Kidding again. Having an extensive collection of phone cases is just so fun because while attainable, most people just simply do not partake in it. That makes you kitschy and unique. I really thought I had more to say about the IDEA of the phone case, but I guess in practice it is all very, very simple. You can slide your driver’s license in the back of a clear case. At what point does it stop being cool to have legal operational control of a vehicle? I don’t display mine because I don’t really like the photo. I look round. In the eyes but also just in general, swollen, unglamorous. Whatever. Not like I drive a Nissan or anything. I drive my *Mom’s* Nissan. Playing Bladee in the car seems sacrilegious. She would hate it.Back to phone cases. Sonix ones are cute but kind of overpriced retail- unless you have like, an iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever the fuck is new this year, just go to Winner’s. They always have Xs and 11 cases. I had a cherry one for my previous phone, like the exact one Lana Del Rey had? Thank god I sold it before she got outed as a copfucker or whatever. Casetify is for an inadvertent flex. Flexing your lame, lame taste. Sorry, I know you bought it because you liked it, but what you failed to consider is just how un-Kitsch they are. SO common, and they advertise on Instagram. Sorry, I just can’t get into it! Kind of how I just never liked the Brandy Amara tanks. Or lowtop converse. Otterbox is just distressing. Like, if my boyfriend gave me an otterbox phone case I would probably break up with him because somebody clearly isn’t paying attention- one of my favorite, potentially overused joke is how Otterbox cases are the equivalent of orthopedic insoles. Sorry but if you have poor arch support or whatever, but no pain is worth giving up a good pair of Margiela slingback tabi heels. Obviously I couldn’t afford that right now because all loose income goes directly to Wildflower and my cig boy. But like, one day. I hope you want to punch me in the face a little bit after reading that. If Wildflower isn’t your thing, at least have the decency to get a beaded phone strap. But not from String Ting. Pray tell you aren’t keeping score, but they are one of my several parasocial enemies. That should have been ME collaborating with Wildflower! Should have been ME mailing shit to Caroline Calloway (more on her later, but she is the only blue check I follow. I adore her! I was on her patreon for a bit I thinkl!!) …. Side note. Phone cases are cute but there is no way to properly protect your laptop without looking just absurd or colossally lame. The foam sleeves… ick.

Having the shittiest music taste ever

So like, here’s the thing. I’m an Apple Music user, which sort of reinstates my status as an unironic My Bloody Valentine Hyperpop Death Grips kinda gal. Read; volcel. My most recent conquest ended up being a huge L on my part, but also… I totally dodged a bullet. The guy had an iPhone 11 (female trait) and didn’t know who Rei Brown was, which just seemed suspicious given his Niche. I just know he had a “making out playlist” comprising entirely of like, Joji. Which isn’t a bad thing I guess but so unembarrassing it horseshoes back to being humiliating.Like I said. Having the worst music taste. It’s nice how subjective and deeply personal your music taste can be; no one really Needs to know you’re a die hard drainer. But there’s also no point in being a die-hard drainer and Not capitalizing off it somehow. I added it up and I have well over 150 hours of just Bladee and Yung Lean. Which is so yass? The more I write, using myself as a case study, I realize just how desperately jobless I am. And Yogenfruz isn’t even hiring! UGH!I think there is something very kitschy about liking hyperpop in the least ironic, least obnoxious way. Sort of feeds into a “I’m not like other girls” thing, but I mean… That’s kind of the idea of kitsch, isn’t it? Be a little different but also the very same as your lipgloss brethren?!Side note. If you make monthly playlists I am genuinely kind of afraid of you. That is just so organized!! I just make playlists with esoteric titles and then make a new one when I’m sick of the stuff on the last. I have exhausted most genres but I think my favorite is the “I’m wearing f****ng air forces and my teeth are SO white”. Guess what genre it is. Or don’t, but it’s probably what you think is. Okay, moving on….

Curating a scent

I like thinking I smell like mango and peach, Glossier you, whatever citrus is in that Lush shower jelly and mint 5Gum. But of course it is probably less distinct and just kind of generally fruit-floral-mint. Anyway. I think Glossier You is the perfect scent for anyone with a rather elementary understanding of the whole.. Perfume business. Every bottle of intentional fragrance I own was made via aesthetic choices… it really helps that Glossier You is so cute And so universal. Now, Glossier is kind of interesting to me because it really is at the intersection of cheugy and kitsch. Kind of basic, overplayed, unspectacular. But also…. Often popular things are popular because they are good. Glossier has excellent customer suurv, they ship SO fast (and no import duties! W!) and their stuff is just so sweet and nice if not unoriginal, in kind of the same way strawberry ice cream is. Which is still my favorite, of course, especially if there’s a vegan option. I was talking about Glossier. What the hell! It’s really worth trying out. A huge principle of kitsch is just… having as many possible layers and appendages to your composure as possible. And adding a signature scent just really completes that! When curating your own, I say this as a complete amateur, know-nothing; make it something that comes kind of naturally to Your Character. Like, I’m just not a Chanel No 5 kind of girl. Odds are you aren’t either. My bottle (before she asked for it back when I told her I didn’t use it, in exchange for a Nordstrom’s gift card) was from my grandmother. Ummm.. Yeah, I really have no expertise in curating a scent. But it is nice to have a signature. And having a bottle displayed on your dresser next to your aughties McDonald milkshake themed beanie baby and a handful of lip products is just way too fun! This is the kind of girl I am, everyone! Cluttered, but prioritizing pretty-delicate things!

Cheugyism

Cheugy is a relatively new word that has unfortunately wormed into my vocabulary to replace “uncouth”. Which I use to mean graceless or tacky, but if that isn’t what it means…. Don’t tell me. That would hurt more than weighing myself after a “feast” slash pastry binge at my dear Grandmothe’s house. Like I was saying. Cheugy. It’s sort of a fucked up concept to me because it is a critique on consumption, but not the pace or volume or magnitude of it. But rather… the idea of not being “good” enough at engaging in microtrends, or involvement in the fast paced fashion cycle. Don’t get me started on TikTok, or do, but… yeah,. No. That will require a cigarette because I’m so sorry, but writing a thinkpiece on social media is so lowbrow I would need to find about six ways to aesthetically counteract it…. Moving on. I think the idea of cheugy is good, we really do need a word to simply and efficiently define “out of date/uninspired/lame”. But the way it is used to shame others for not liking the same trends or whatever is kind of gross. If you use cheugyism to put other people down and not as a neutral identifier umm… you will become what you fear. Sorry, that’s what happens. Some things that I think are cheugy or embarrassing, or just not part of my stylistic lexicon are… 1. Hooded or zip up clothing, or things with a large graphic on the back. Bingo if it's all three! I just can’t get behind it. Side note, my summer home outfit is brandy sweats and a tube top (Urban Outfitters tank I ripped the straps off) and a large cardigan that should have belonged to a stoner, but probably didn’t. I can dunk on bulky, uninspired clothes because I would honest to God NEVER be caught DEAD out of the house wearing any of it. I’m so serious. Next segment should be about the kitsch girl’s inadvertent affinity for diuretics. Remind me….. One of the ports of my laptop is dead. Not really sure what to do about that.

Eye makeup and what it means to me….

Personally, I am one of those people who never wears foundation and kind of has a complex about it. The kitsch girl wears fluffy eyelashes and owns a plethora of sparkly eyeliner. Or maybe she doesn’t, but she has something distinct and a little ritzy, if not haphazard. We all saw Euphoria and it like, totally imprinted on us. The way glitter sits on your face after a long day is so resplendent. When it’s shining and a little bit melted off from your long, semi-productive day… ugh! Just made for film. Pictures on film. But not the Prequel app. I keep getting fucking ads for it. But it’s so embarrassing. Like, isn’t the whole point of film the authenticity of the moment? The texture of the afternoon? Why would you fabricate that? Prequel is just so cheugy. More on that later. But anyhow. Wearing a ton of eye makeup kind of fits with the idea of film too I think. Like, look at you, in the moment. With your strip lash falling off! It’s all so tres-chic. Plus, for whatever reason, it’s kind of unique or notably dedicated to ~Pull up to the function~ with more eye makeup on than everyone else. Sorry, but it really doesn’t take that long! But yes I will gracefully accept your praise… it’s kind of like the dropshipping of complements if you think about it. Easy to source with little to no effort in the curating. Side note, lashes are like $20 for 40 weeks if you cut them in half and use each pair about 5 times. You could probably do more but I lose track. How the fuck is it almost June? I was trudging through the snow to check the mail for my Online Ceramics shirt just last week, I swear. The trick to cutting your lashes (the way I do it anyway) is pretty simple. Get out two lashes that are symmetrical. Find the middle and cut one slightly to the left and one slightly to the right. This means you have two sets (one set is a little more dramatic than the other but at least they are symmetrical) with longer outer edges. Glue this to the outer corner of your eye and you will look so Composed… obsessed with how this layers with three eyeliner tails (one traditional one pointing up and one pointing down directly below it, sort of like the tail light on a 2019 Lexus UX) and one below your eye, like a clown. Fun, irrelevant fact, is the first time I added this third tail to my eye makeup, my dad had just gotten home from the hospital because he was sure he had like appendicitis or something and it was actually.. Not that. Typical indie hypochondriac. He made me bring him cottage cheese on a plate with a teaspoon that evening. I put black pepper on it for flair, which he hated. Walking up and down stairs with a plate of cottage cheese is much more imprinting than most of the multiplication tables. Don’t forget to use a bright shimmer eyeshadow in your inner corner. It really opens up your eyes. I recommend Too Faced. One time I got a little bit too high and tried to film an “editorial” makeup tutorial. You will never, ever, ever see that video. But I essentially covered my whole eyelid in the ABH shadow “palermo” and smudged out the edges with a tan Tartelette Toasted shade, coupled with my long-expired Milk Makeup holographic stick. Lopsided lashes and near-blinding eyeliner experience aside, it was kind of cool. My point is, you really cannot go wrong with an arsenal of shimmers, taupey mattes and a good eyeliner pen.

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hanogram · 5 years ago

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Let the Flowers Bloom with Hanogram’s Best Phone Covers

Flowers are often used as decoration or a perfect gift for someone. However, there’s more to it that you should know. Bringing flowers no matter what the season is, helps to brighten up your mood. Are you feeling anxious and nervous? Flowers could lessen your anxiety and can make you feel safe. Did something make you sad? According to some studies, seeing flowers could make you feel happier and joyful. Needs to be creative but can’t start with anything? Flowers improve your innovative thinking. These are only a few of the many reasons why you should always surround yourself with flowers.

However, the world has become fast-phased. Thus, with one’s busy schedule, it is now hard for people to see and wander around nature. But one thing is for sure – you always bring your mobile phones whenever and wherever you go. Mobile phones today have now become part of our daily lives – be it for personal or business purposes. With that being said, why not include some flowers to your phone cases?

Spice up that mobile phone with the best phone covers filled with flowers and eye-catching design. Hanogram provides the best phone accessories with high quality and creative designs around the world. With its flora collection, cover your mobile phones with style and utility. Hanogram offers phone cases and mobile accessories for iPhone, Samsung, and Huawei.

Best Phone Covers on Hanogram’s Flora Collection

Floral Bloom Glass Case

Summer is the perfect season to enjoy the beauty of flowers. To add up more fun this summer, then this phone case is a great choice. It brings the aura of the sea breeze to anyone who owns it. Styled with the perfect color combination, stylish design, and high-quality material that will immediately style up your phone.

Pink Rose Glass Case

Pink roses symbolize admiration and gratitude. It is the reason why it is a perfect gift for a sister, mother, or even a lover. However, there are some people who do not prefer to receive a literal flower. Which is why a phone case designed with pink roses is a great choice for this type of scenario. Who says that phone cases can’t be bought as gifts? Having a hard time to express emotions and desire to someone? This perfectly designed phone case is the perfect gift!

Pretty Floral Glass Case

Just like the old saying, simplicity is beauty. For those who want protection for their phones but don’t want something fancy, then this phone case is a beautiful choice! The flower and color combination provides a simple and trendy vibe. But, it can still serve its primary purpose – protection for the phone.

Light Pink Floral Glass Case

Flowers has been adored since traditional times. It symbolizes beauty and nature that are some of the cherished things in the world. Moreover, it has different colors that are pleasing to the eyes. Due to this, combining different colors of flowers has been a habit since then. But, not all people have the audacity to combine a colorful flower with black. Which is why it is hard to find things with these color combination, especially phone cases.

Looking for a phone case with black and pink design? It elevates the phone with its cute design and is also perfect for those who are not fond of girly materials.

Flowers Bloom Glass Case

Purple and black may seem a weird combination. But it adds up more style for phone cases. It screams royalty and pride towards success. The Flowers Bloom Glass Case is a good choice for people who are tired of the usual colors of phone cases.

Hanogram’s Flora Collection offers a variety of design and style of best phone covers to choose from. This specific collection assures that the taste, feeling, and interest will be catered as consumers continue with life. As each accessory defines one’s personality, it also helps create beautiful stories. Choose a phone accessory that fits. Visit our website www.hanogram.com for more designs!

#mobile phones #Hanogram #phone cases #best phone covers #phone covers #phone accessories #mobile accessories #phone case #phone accessory

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connorrenwick · 7 years ago

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Buzzfeed: 42 Of The Cheapest Gifts You Can Buy From Super Expensive Brands

They like the Gucci, the Prada, the whole enchilada.

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

A porcelain microwave- and dishwasher-safe Hermès mug covered in its classic tie-set comete design.

Get it from Barneys for $135.

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A cotton Proenza Schouler graphic tee to throw on with your favorite Forever 21 skinny jeans.

Get it from Nordstrom for $235. Available in sizes XS–L and in three colors.

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A pair of Gucci crew socks made in Italy from a stretchy cotton blend.

Get it from Nordstrom for $95.

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A moisturizing, brightening, and protective Chanel hand cream you can throw in your bag — whether it’s a Boy Bag or not.

Promising review: “I'm a huge fan of hand creams. I've purchased every brand and all types. I really love the silky feeling that Chanel's hand cream has, and how moist my hands look. Even though it's expensive, it's worth it!” —MimiChiChi

Get it from Nordstrom for $50.

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A set of three elastic Marc Jacobs hair bands detailed with fun tiny charms.

Get it from Nordstrom for $35.

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An Italian-crafted leather Givenchy keychain that just might scare away anyone trying to borrow your keys.

Get it from Nordstrom for $191.98 (originally $320).

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A limited-edition La Mer collection with Crème de la Mer Moisturizing Cream, Treatment Lotion, and Eye Concentrate to keep your skin hydrated all winter long.

Promising review: “This is an excellent way to try La Mer. I have been using it for a little over two weeks now and I see a significant difference in my skin. I have already purchased additional items from the line and a full-size cream! I have VERY sensitive skin and this does not break me out.” —mfrias

Get the set from Nordstrom for $85.

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A leather and silver-tone Prada keychain to keep your keys looking chic, even when you’ve lost them.

Get it from Mr Porter for $170.

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A Versace deodorant stick that captures the scents of the Mediterranean — just like the brand’s super-popular Dylan Blue eau de toilette.

Get it from Nordstrom for $23.80 (originally $28).

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A silk-chiffon Alexander McQueen scarf designed with a classic skull motif that’ll quickly become a staple in your wardrobe.

Get it from Net-a-Porter for $295 or from Nordstrom for $295. Available in seven prints.

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A calfskin Balenciaga foldover wallet to keep your last few dollars in.

Get it from Nordstrom for $296.98 (originally $495).

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A Giorgio Armani gift set with eye tint and mascara to help give you beautiful, illuminated eyes.

Giorgio Armani's ultra-black Ecstasy mascara is designed with a cylindrical, multidirectional brush to help coat every lash in a quick application that'll leave you lashes looking voluminous, long, and curled. The Eye Tint has a unique formula that'll transform from liquid to solid on your eyelid so it doesn't budge.

Get it at Nordstrom for $39.

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A gold-plated Saint Laurent charm ring for a delicate and discreet designer touch.

Get it from Net-a-Porter for $295. Available in sizes 5-8.

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A cotton Moncler polo shirt, because Moncler doesn’t just make puffer jackets.

Get it from Nordstrom for $160. Available in sizes S-XXL and in three colors.

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An ultra-creamy Tom Ford lipstick made of soja seed extract, Brazilian murumuru butter, and chamomilla flower oil.

Promising review: “This lipstick is worth splurging for! The formula is long-wearing, with a creamy finish. One of the best products to own!” —Toplipstick

Get it from Nordstrom for $54. Available in 49 shades.

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A pair of Comme des Garcons Play x Converse Chuck Taylor high-top sneakers, because you’ve been wanting them forever anyway.

Promising review: “These shoes are great! They fit so well and they're extremely comfortable even for a whole day at work. They are much better than the Converse All Star shoes. So much support on your heel. These shoes are also really versatile and can be worn in so many ways.” —KyleK91

Get it from Nordstrom for $125. Available in sizes 6–11 and in two colors.

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A bottle of Rouge Louboutin nail color by Christian Louboutin so you can get your nails the same shade as your red bottoms.

Promising review: “These polishes are the best. Long-wearing, they do not chip. You only know you need a manicure when your nails grow out. Easily lasts two weeks. And I dig in the flower beds, clean the house, and groom our dogs. Highly recommend any color.” —bocakat

Get it from Nordstrom for $50.

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A braided leather Bottega Veneta bracelet that’ll add a very chic pop of color.

Get it from Barneys for $250.

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An adorable shimmering Stella McCartney dress for the future Olympic ice skater/fashion icon in your life.

Get it from Nordstrom for $59.40 (originally $99). Available in children's sizes 6M–18M.

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An OMG adorable leather Fendi iPhone 7 case designed to look like one of its unique and stylish monsters.

Get it from Nordstrom for $329.98 (originally $558). Available in two colors.

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A pair of bright-red Vetements crew socks you should definitely be careful not throw in with your whites.

Get them from Nordstrom for $140.

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A set of handmade crystal Waterford glasses designed in a sleek and curved silhouette to bring out the flavor and aroma of your favorite wine.

Get it from Nordstrom for $50.

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A merino wool Dries Van Noten sweater with a gorgeously colorful graphic print that’ll surely get you noticed.

Get the from Nordstrom for $323.98 (originally $540). Available in sizes XS–L.

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A super-luxurious Missoni hand towel so you can add this iconic chevron pattern to your bathroom retreat.

Get it from Nordstrom for $33+.

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A dazzling Swarovski crystal Miu Miu headband to help turn a bad hair day into a sparkling one.

Get it from Nordstrom for $310.

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A soft AF pima cotton Rag & Bone T-shirt you can use to answer all the compliments you get when you wear it.

Get it from Nordstrom for $71.25 (originally $95). Available in sizes XS-XL.

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A pair of very strappy and sexy VS x Balmain undies, because sometimes you just need your undergarments to speak volumes.

Get it from Victoria Secret for $28. Available in sizes S–L.

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A leather Mulberry money clip so you can carry your cash like the baller you know you are.

Get it from Mr Porter for $110.

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An adorable stripped Burberry shirt, because you’re gonna have to start their love affair with designer brands young.

Get it from Nordstrom for $50.98 (originally $85). Available in children's sizes 6M–9M.

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A porcelain Jonathan Adler dish that’ll hold all your little things in a very elegant way.

Get it from Jonathan Adler for $32. Available in three colors.

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An opulent J’adore by Dior soap so you can cleanse yourself with your favorite luxurious scent.

Promising review: “Being a Dior addict and loving J'adore I had to try this! It is fantastic, lathers well, smells divine, and leaves my skin very moisturized.” —pinkyluver

Get it from Nordstrom for $22.10 (originally $26).

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A pair of alpaca-blend Acne Studios mittens that’ll be one of the most adorable things you wear all winter.

Get it from Net-a-Porter for $112 (originally $160).

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A classic soft mercerized cotton Thom Browne polo detailed with its iconic red, white, and blue stripes.

Get it from Nordstrom for $350. Available in sizes 1-5 and in two colors.

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A two-pack of stunning floral Erdem x H&M knee socks, because they’re one of the few things you can still get your hands on from this stunning collaboration.

Get it from H&M for $34.99.

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A sleek plastic Off-White iPhone 7 case to keep you covered and stylish.

Get it from Nordstrom for $80.

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A soft merino wool blend Canada Goose beanie so you stay warm and comfortable even on those miserable AF days when it’s too cold to function.

Get it from Nordstrom for $95. Available in five colors.

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A pair of brass and gold finish Louis Vuitton floral earrings, monogrammed with its signature pattern.

Get it from Louis Vuitton for $290.

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Them explaining to you why all these things are necessities.

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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