#Addison Lemon

[kisiel-z-kosmosu]

I painted the small test print of addsion (that somehow wasn't lost) and now I have this weird matrioshka ^^

I'm painting lots of stuff in general. I don't like uaing traditional mediums (sooo annoying and my hands are all in dots from washing off paint), but I love to have physical arts to much to stop me.

Lemon demon looking as he was caught in a crime scene xd.

Wish me luck with making that flower pot for a friend sealed safe for plants.

Still sour over a fact that i bought pack of 24 markers, thinking that they are all-surface and acrylic, but they were a normal markers on the same shelf and nearly indentical box.

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

Rejoice! More Colormari Art be upon ye!

Prompt: Own Music (I chose: "As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It", by Lemon Demon)

Time: 60min

[s1lly-gh02tz]

KANDI IVE MADE RECENTLY !!

[x22817]

I'm thinking about teaching Hek to bring me a pre-made bottle of AT but I have some concerns

1. This would be just when I am dizzy + light headed without low BP so it would be up to me to tell her I need it. I don't want it tied to an alert

2. I only have metal water bottles, so I need to figure out how she can bring it to me without hurting herself

3. Hek doesn't really enjoy carrying stuff. She'll do it. But I don't want to make her do something she doesn't enjoy doing.

None of these are really that problematic. I'm just trying to think of new things we can do

[movedtodykedvonte]

you can depict surv however you want he’ll keep being amarillo to me /lh,j

It’s so freaking funny to me cause I can’t deny this is not an accurate comparison but of all the known yellow ads or addison OCs in general, Amarillo served the least for any inspiration on Surv

[godteri-takk]

A HANDSOME MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKING LOOKING BACK AT ME

Look into my eyeholes, tell me what you see

[fernegirl]

sally face baking headcanons ft. larry & lisa

some fluffy headcanons about sal fisher as a baker, set in the early days at addison apartments

→ Sally fucks heavily with baking. I think he'd see Lisa baking something and then it would click in his head as something tangible he can do for the other Addison Apartment residents. So he picks up tips and tricks from her, since for a period of time he practically lives in her and Larry's apartment.

→ His dad doesn't really care what they buy at the grocery store as long as it's technically food, so he barely notices when Sally begins picking out the basics: flour, baking powder, cream of tartar, etc.

→ He practices over and over, eating his fair share of burnt cookies and soggy cake. There are no cookbooks at home, but once he discovers that Gizmo doesn't mind watching cooking shows with him, he improves.

→ The first ever thing he bakes for another person is his Dad. He gets Lisa's blessing to use her kitchen and he and Larry get to work late one night under the guise of a sleepover. They print out a recipe from the internet in the school library and bring it home.

→ It makes his chest hurt, looking at the recipe for a lemon cake with vanilla frosting--the closest recipe he could find to what his mom would make every year for his dad's birthday. She called it "lovely lemon" cake. She always did like alliterations.

→ It takes then far too long. Larry mostly provides moral support, cheering him on and keeping him company as he measures and rechecks everything. Its worth it though. The resulting cake looks good, lopsided but, ultimately very cake-like, with "happy birthday dad" written in blue icing in between candles.

→ makes henry smile for the first time in months

→ after that sally begins learning all sorts of recipes to share with his neighbors. he makes a little chart of birthdays and anniversaries so that he doesn't forget anyone's special day.

→ develops a real habit of stress baking. when things aren't going well, he can usually be found blasting metal music and whipping up a batch of muffins.

[angara-mfrp]

Wow, has it actually been another year already? Apparently so! And as such, we are now bringing you yet another ADZ Wrapped! For those of you who have been here since last year, you know the drill. For those of you who haven't, well...it's exactly what it sounds like!

This post is so long this year compared to last year that we need a readmore. Under the cut we go!

Our biggest change was probably the addition of three new mods: Vega (Mod Budgie), Laur (Mod Quoll), and Nox (Mod Magpie)! The need for new personnel just speaks to the success and growth of the group, and we thank you all for our chance to grow. And haven't they just done a fantastic job?

Next, raw data! Including the mod team, we are now up to 108 muns and a whopping 253 muses! That is far bigger than we ever could have imagined. Our largest Direction was Center, with 73 muses! Just behind it was North with 58, South with 46, West with 39, and then East with 36! To put things in perspective, our biggest Direction last year had 30 muses, and our smallest had only 6. Of course, Direction size doesn't necessarily indicate popularity. South Advocate Mikaves Bell, written by Owl, has been actively pursued by at least three different guys this year! North Advocate Vera Graves also seems to have some admirers lurking about, though the only one to have actively made a move is Randy Orlando, written by Sety! Poor guy, you tried so hard...

Our member base has also made a lot of progress in their Wave resistance! While we do have quite a few new arrivals, with 111 muses at Rank 0, we have 58 muses at Rank 1, 43 muses at Rank 2, 16 muses at Rank 3, 11 muses at Rank 4, and 14 muses at Rank 5! We'd also like to shout those who have managed to hit Rank 5 just this year: Arcade with Alcryst, Sami with Dan Heng, Katie with Hesperia Doshin, Lizard with Julian Zenith, Hansie with Kris Dreemurr, Lemon with Agent Eight, Crea with Nathrae Amatista, Soren with Neuvillette, and Mocha with Yusei Null! (I, Addison, also managed to hit Rank 5 with Musiea and Ronan Muir but y'all know I work from home. My ass does NOT need celebrating.)

While the majority of muses (200, to be exact) are 18 years or older, we did have quite a few young muses this year! 37 of our current muses are 17 years old or younger. And though they are small in number, the kids and teens have made quite an impact on the community! We've also seen a lot of Path development. Idealist continues to be the largest at 46, while Passive, Intellectual, and Opportunist all tied for the next place at 19 muses. Cynic is just behind them at 18 muses, then Contrarian at 14 muses. We have just one Dissenter, and that is Primrose Ossler, written by Oz! Currently, the Tormentor count is at 0...phew!

As far as things within the server, ADZ grew so much that we needed to add 3 more permanent IC channels, with 3 corresponding OOC channels! We've had a total of 479 drabbles and threads submitted! There have been 149 IC deaths, much to Vera's dismay. The fastest death was N, written by Edel, whose robot body just couldn't handle being in the lake! While humor is subjective, the mods found that Heavy Weapons Guy, written by Fish, had the funniest death. He was mistaken for a prop during the talent contest and killed by Spy, which led to an IC reenactment of the ever iconic "Heavy is dead" video! The golden pan incident was also suggested. We were also very chatty, with around 330,000 IC messages being sent this year!

This year has led to a lot of progress with lore and events. While Yden and its Cache were technically revealed in very late 2023, people didn't start going to Yden until this year! We also ventured out to Oure, a Cache in need of desperate help, which has now put power back into the hands of its people. We've had one exploration quest this year, to the Cursed Ruins outside of Yden, which revealed some secrets of the past and the debut of the mysterious "lifeblood of the planet"! Spooky...we also had our second ever mini event, where some of the Advocates went to a banquet with the "president" of Oure to learn more about why someone sent out a message asking for help. We did have three festival events this year, First Dawn on Yden's beach, Festival of Fortune in Oure, and then the return of Seven Nights of Fright, which took place across the three locations! However, we did have quite a chonky two-parter of a lore event with Casino Morale! Everyone worked to spy and gather intel in the first part, while in the second, everyone worked together to fight off an evil woman turned tentacle monster and protect those who were affected by her rampaging. We also introduced member-run events as a means of keeping people busy and giving the mods time to make lore and festival events as great as they could possibly be. The first was EVO Outbreak, run by Birb! The second was Dreamers, run by Lizard! The third, which is ongoing, is Seeming (Un)Seelie, run by Kira, Xeno, and Chii! We're glad we decided to give you all a chance to let your creativity really shine, and we can't wait to see what you do in the future! We also had SYNC errors galore, with the most entertaining ones being either the "affected users are dumb and friendly" error, or the "affected users are now tiny" error. Of course, we aren't sitting idly by either, and we very much plan to introduce more fun events and harrowing events this year.

We've also had plenty of funny moments brought about from events and user shenanigans overall! Alfred, written by Vega, dug two holes this year. One was for the sand sculpture contest, but another was just for enrichment. Many people fell into that hole! The emu race was also a lot of fun, with emus proving just how dumb they are in the most spectacular way. Nobody was as forgiving and appreciative of her incredibly stupid emu, Adderall, as Lumera, written by Arcade, but Jiaoqiu, written by Ike, rode to victory in the second race atop an emu named after his most hated ingredient! Cephalon Ordis, written by Laur, was dragged behind his emu in his trash can drone. He hated it, but everyone else loved it!

Humor, written by Wren, attempted to start a fight with a kangaroo...how did that go, again? Genuinely cannot remember if he won or if he got his shit rocked. Vash the Stampede, written by Stan, didn't have a great time with the emu costume contest, as his participating emu decided to wake up and choose violence despite his nice costume. Hermes, written by Twin, was a true innovator in the same contest! He used his god powers to turn into an emu, but he got caught, and he and Elise Liedl, written by Soleil, were disqualified. Of course, nobody suffered quite like Cecil, written by Max, during the maze race. When 56 relic frogs get loose in the maze, you cannot dawdle! Poor Cecil had to face all of that goo in a truly harrowing scene that was, unfortunately, televised.

This year also brought about our biggest drop day ever (maybe aside from when we opened), as well as expansions to all of the residential areas within the Angara Cache! We also revamped the quest and mutation systems to make them even better. So much has been done that listing it all here would make this post needlessly long!

Our point in doing this is to look back on our progress, what we've learned, how we've grown, and how much fun we've all had. Even if you weren't shouted out directly, please know that we appreciate you being here and we value your membership and your place within our not-so-little-anymore group. We're thankful for all of the adventures we've had with you this year, and we hope to have many more with you in CY1025!

And, just in case you haven't been directly shouted out? Here are some highlights from our legendary moments channel.

[watchinghallmark]

Summer Nights 2024 Lineup

The movies seem... interesting.

JUNEBUG

Saturday, August 3 (8 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Autumn Reeser (The Wedding Veil), Aaron O’Connell (The Haves and the Have Nots)

When an eight-year-old version of herself starts appearing to her, Juniper (Reeser) begins to realize that her life is not what she had hoped it would be as a child. Young Junebug pushes Juniper to achieve her dreams, to start writing again, and to collaborate with the cute artist Alex (O’Connell) that she recently met to get her life back on track. 

🐞 I feel like this could be really cute. Autumn seems very excited about the project so hopefully that's a good sign.

MY DREAMS OF YOU

Saturday, August 10 (8 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Skyler Samuels (Aurora Teagarden Mysteries), Kapil Talwalkar (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)

Grace (Samuels) has recurring dreams about a handsome stranger named Michael (Talwalkar) due to a mix-up in Dream Central.  When they finally meet in person, Grace is shocked to learn he has no idea who she is.

😴 I'm really excited about this casting! Kapil was great in ZEP and it's great to finally see some diversity (Hallmark you're sucking so bad lately with that).It sounds like it could be fun and also a little nutty which I like.

A COSTA RICAN WEDDING

Saturday, August 17 (8 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Rhiannon Fish (My Norwegian Holiday), Christopher Russell (Operation Nutcracker)

A clumsy maid of honor (Fish) gets help from her handsome nemesis (Russell) when things go awry at her best friend’s Costa Rican wedding.

🤵👰 The fact that they even describe her as clumsy... oof. Rhiannon can be hit or miss, especially when they have her play an idiot so often. Her paired with Chris is certainly not helping matters either.

THE MAGIC OF LEMON DROPS

Saturday, August 24 (8 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Lyndsy Fonseca (Nikita), Ian Harding (Pretty Little Liars)

When Lolly’s (Fonseca) Aunt gives her three magical lemon drops, she gets to experience what her life would have been like if she had made different choices and lived those unfulfilled dreams.

🍋... what? I feel like this is code for some hallucinogenic drugs but ok. Love both actors though so I'm interested.

HEAD OVER HEELS

Saturday, August 31 (8 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Rebecca Dalton (Good Witch), Olivier Renaud (Romance with a Twist)

A suburban girl at heart, Addison (Dalton), is off to prove herself in the world of high-end fashion footwear when she lands a life-changing internship at an Upper East Side studio leading up to the star-studded New York Fashion Week.  Addison is determined to hold onto her integrity and her family values while struggling to balance it all and forge a path to success and romance, although she may fall head over heels while trying to make her dreams come true.

👠Yawn.

JAZZ RAMSEY: A K-9 MYSTERY

Friday, August 2 (9 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Rachel Skarsten (The Royal Nanny), Corey Sevier (Take Me Back for Christmas)

When Jazz Ramsey (Skarsten) and her crime detection dog Zeus stumble upon an old crime scene, the K-9 trainer, her star pup, and ex-boyfriend and lead detective Nick (Sevier) are thrown into the investigation.

🐶 Excited about this!

NELLY KNOWS MYSTERIES (wt)

Friday, August 23 (9 p.m. ET/PT) 

Starring: Pascale Hutton (When Calls the Heart), Kavan Smith (When Calls the Heart)

When an unusual handwritten letter arrives at Nelly’s (Hutton) office, she identifies the handwriting as belonging to her childhood friend Dahlia (Sarah Grey, The Secret Lives of College Freshman), claiming her boyfriend Blake (Julian Haig, Dial S for Santa) is being unfaithful.  Determined to help, Nelly wants some answers and rushes to Blake’s home only to find his dead body.  When Dahlia becomes the prime suspect, the new, handsome Detective in town, Michael Hogan (Smith) must work with Nelly to prove that her childhood friend is not the killer everyone believes her to be.

📫A Pascale and Kavan mystery??? It's all I've ever wanted!

What do you think about these movies? What are you most excited for?

[thatrandomuser01]

My take on Underswap and Deltaswap

Frisk <-> Chara

Flowey <-> Tem Shop Temmie

Toriel <-> Asgore

Ruins Dummy <-> Mad Dummy/ Mad Mew Mew

Froggit <-> Final Froggit

Whimsun <-> Whimsalot

Moldsmal <-> Moldessa

Napstablook <-> Mettaton

Vegetoid <-> Parsnik

Migosp <-> Migospel

Loox <-> Astigmatism

Spiders <-> Temmies

Sans <-> Papyrus

Snowy/ Snowdrake <-> Chilldrake

Ice Cap/ Ice Cube <-> Gyftrot

Doggo <-> Dogamy

Snowdin Forest Faun <-> Rabbit Kid

Snowman <-> Newspaper Editor 2

Lesser Dog <-> Dogaressa

Jerry <-> Terry

Nice Cream Guy/ Blue Ears <-> Burgerpants/ Pizzapants

Greater Dog <-> Muttler/ Endogeny

Toby The Annoying Dog <-> Glyde

Snowdin Shopkeeper QC <-> Gerson

Snowdin Inn Keeper <-> Rabbit Lady

Snowdin Inn Keeper's Child <-> Cinnamon

Gift Bear <-> Politics Bear

Monster Kid <-> Goner Kid

Grillby <-> Muffet

Big Mouth <-> Nurse Red Big Mouth

Drunk Bun <-> Elder Puzzler

Ugly Fish <-> Echo Flower Explainer

Red Bird <-> Business Dude 2

Punk Hamster <-> Clam Guy

Scarf Mouse <-> Loren

Red Demon <-> Library Lizard

Slime Family <-> Snails

Library Loox <-> Flower Shop Loox

Ice Wolf <-> Newspaper Editor 1/ Scarf Lady

Undyne <-> Alphys

Aaron <-> Moldbygg

Woshua <-> Vulkin

Snail Guy <-> Briefcase Dude

Shyren <-> Shyra/ Lemon Bread

Ferry <-> Fox Head

Onionsan <-> Small Bird

Bob <-> Heats Flamesmen

Ragel <-> Shambling Mass

Clam Girl <-> Goner Clam

River Person <-> W.D. Gaster

Tsunderplane <-> Knight Knight

Pyrope <-> Madjick

Business Dude 1 <-> Sad Dad Dragon

Fuku Fire <-> Diamond Boy 1

Skateboard Girl <-> Diamond Boy 2

Hot Dog Harpy <-> MTT Resort Diamond Receptionist

Hot Dog Vulkin <-> Deltarune Froggit

Scared Donut Guy <-> Gaster Follower 2

Dress Lion/ Waitress Lion <-> Business Manticore

Gaster Follower 1 <-> Ficus Licker

Gaster Folower 3 <-> Striped Library Bird

Royal Guard 1 <-> Bratty

Royal Guard 2 <-> Catty

MTT Resort Hand Receptionist <-> Town Hall Hand Receptionist

MTT Resort Janitor <-> MTT Resort Fish Receptionist

Snowy's Father <-> Snowy's Mother Crystal

Charles <-> Catty and Catti's Mother

Oni <-> Catty and Catti's Farher 

Memory Head <-> Reaper Bird

Everyman <-> Watching Man

Kris <-> Dess Holiday

Berdly <-> School Tem

Catti <-> Jockington

Susie <-> Noelle

Ralsei <-> Lancer

Ralsei Dummy <-> Pippins

Ruddin <-> Ruddin Ranger

Hathy <-> Head Hathy

Top Chef <-> Malius

C.Round <-> The Original Starwalker

Jigsawry <-> Rabbick

Ponman <-> Bloxer

Royal Coat Rack <-> Blue Blocks

Little Ball <-> Worm

Clover <-> King

Seam <-> Jevil

Mr. Elegance <-> Mr. Society

Pair Of Eyes <-> Circus Wagon

Former Kings <-> Circus Animals

Rouxls Kaard <-> Jigsaw Bob & Tutorial Masters

Rudolph Holiday <-> Father Alvin

Mrs. Holiday <-> Ms. Boom

The Warrior <-> Purple Guy

Milk Looker <-> Rainy

Plugboys <-> Poppups

Queen <-> Tasque Manager

Werewires <-> Werewerewires

Tasques <-> Maus

Virovirokuns <-> Ambyu Lances

Fommt <-> Mousemilliam

Sweet <-> Nubert

Capn <-> Hacker

K_K <-> Trashy 

Icon Man <-> Yes Man 1

Icon Man's Friend <-> Yes Man 2

Addisons <-> Swatchlings

Spamton <-> Swatch

Wig Robot <-> Dress Mannequin

❤️Locations❤️

Ruins <-> New Home

Snowdin <-> CORE

Waterfall <-> Hotland 

❤️Soul Order❤️

Patience <-> Bravery

Integrity <-> Perseverance

Kindness <-> Justice 

**Asriel doesn't swap roles with anyone in my AU

**Will be updated if another Deltarune chapter releases

[stochastique-blog]

Insert Random Comments

Jamie: Homework is awful. We could do something a lot better. 

Addison: I totally agree!

[movedtodykedvonte]

ok you mentioned it what would all of these fools go to karaoke songs be

I was just gonna pick songs from potential voice claims but since I'm not sure of those yet I'll avoid doing that and just go with songs that fit their vibes and themes.

Banner: I'm Not Calling You A Liar by Florence and the Machine. It is melancholy but sweet and allows her to be appreciative of her group which she can't always say in her own verbal words. Not a bad singer but is not a performer so some lyrics that should be belted are soft so as to not stand out, maybe just a tad flat due to shyness. Was most likely urged on stage and has the ads very enthusiastically cheering them on while they lament on how silly and embarrassing it all is. He still had fun in the end tho. 9/10 on the accuracy, 5/10 on voice.

Vidie: I Need a Woman to Love, Kesha Edition.Lloves the theatrics that can be involved in karaoke and wants a song that equally matches that. Was thinking of putting Hermit the Frog on her or Seventeen by Marina but so many pink ads are already Marian coded and it somewhat doesn't fit with Vidie's vibe to me. She like being the center of attention by provocing and this song does it for him. I imagine she more concerned with putting on a show than the lyrics so some things may sound off, just to get a point across or mess with the group... most likely Banner or Spam. 4/10 on voice (no control when singing) and 6/10 on accuracy.

Surv: Life in Her Yet by Rag N' Bone Man. I know you were thinking something really upbeat but I think Surv's singing voice is more suited towards mellow melancholy songs. It's probably Banner's tastes rubbing off on him or Audi's love of sentimental tracks seeping in, but he likes how they feel to sing and likes to direct the songs, especially ones like this one, to his partners. Plus it's nice to be smooth after all the intense peppiness he has to have for commercials and stuff. 7/10 on voice, 10/10 on accuracy.

Audi: Maple by Haley Kioko. This is a song that you don't necessarily need to be a strong or even great singer to sing. I like to think Audi would be playful and adlib with it, giggly like a teenager performing for their high school sweetheart(s). Audi is not a singer by any account and knows it and also doesn't care. He'll belt this song like it's a ballad for the audience and its partners but also like just them having fun. Lots of voice cracks and missed lines, maybe even asking the DJ to play something back so he can "nail it". 3/10 on voice, -100/10 on accuracy.

Spamton: Fear and Delight by the Correspondents. Idk if anyone saw the short animatic with the song but I can imagine a very not sober addispam giving the song all the energy he has and doing it pretty well. He, of course, misses some notes, but it's just the pace, tempo, and vibe he would nail if he had the confidence to do it sober. Plus, he could absolutely ham up the performance for the crowd and the other addisons. 8/10 on accuracy (the glitches mess him up) and 7/10 on voice ( a bit shy like Banner but also the glitches).

Now you may wonder what type of karaoke bar has this variety and range of songs, but you must remember this is the literal internet they live in, I think just about anything that was ever sung is at their disposal.

[turntableart]

Let me cutely spit up some lore

Uhm yellow likes lemon tarts

He likes long walks on the beach

He's been out to sea in an au and stayed out there for long long time 💖

That ones a hint to someone

He likes swimming (just not in acid)

He's been blind for most of his irl life (yellow only became non blind a few months ago for plot💖 and character development)

His cane is made out of Addison and other creatures parts (it's built by add-on so of course it is an skull is on the top of the cane)

He uses a cane cause he still can't see to well

His glasses/goggles are inches thick

There's a made up species that I added to my own personal au of deltrune, there's so many of them that they have their own part of the city (they're tv heads if your wondering, Judy named them leckys like aka what we call the electric bill in the uk)

Well there's technically two... I have drawings if anyone wants to see

Yellow can't tell his left from his right

Yellow uses crayons for his art

Yellows favorite drink is a vanilla milkshake

Yellow smells like Marshmellows and nobody knows why

Yellow has to redye himself on a yearly basis

Yellow has once attempted to dye himself with markers (it didn't work)

Yellow so far in all aus combine has dated 13 maybe 15 different people not including everyone slick had pretended to be

Want any more lore?

[strawberry-flavored-rotting-bugs]

☆ RIN NPTs ☆

Names: Rin, Mirror, Maya, Akira, Fiona, Katrina, Kate, Elena, Lux, Aida, Kiran, Mirage, Spector, Labyrinth, Lee, Micah, Neve, Harper, Reese, Aina, Oyan, Kyoko, Apollo, Octave, Aliyah, Clementine, Euphony, Janet, Lita, Sonare, Addison, Alex, Lee, Salem, Kiran, River, Ronan, Raven, Saturn, Katty, Angel, Daisy

Please only use the Japanese names if you're Japanese!

Prns: ☀️ / ☀️self, ⭐ / ⭐self, 💛 / 💛self, 🍋 / 🍋self,🍌 / 🍌self, 🪐 / 🪐self, 🐝 / 🐝self, Sa/Saturn, Bu/Bumble, Le/Lemon, Su/Sunny, Bo/Bow, Yel/Yellow, 🎸 / 🎸self, Gli/Glitter, Flo/Flower, Be/Berry, Mi/Mirror, Fla/Flame, Da/Daisy, Da/Dance, Ora/Orange, Che/Cherry, Pla/Planet, Oct/Octave, An/Angel

Titles: Len's Twin, The One Who is Bright, The One Who is Yellow, The Hopeful Guitarist, The Optimistic Sister, The Cheerful Singer, [ prn ] Shining Songs, The Shimmering Guitarist, The Encouraging Sister, The Favorite Sister, The Striking Guitarist, The Outstanding Twin, The One Who Makes Memorable Music

+ a mogai coining!

☆ RINGENDER ☆

☆ One whose gender is related to Rin! ☆

[yanderespamton78]

pretty much everyone who likes spamton / addisons has the same taste in everything else ive noticed it and its weird lmao

(UNRELATED BUT THERES A SUPER FUCKING SWAGGER AWESOME TADC ANIMATIC TO "THE CHATTERING LACK OF COMMON SENSE" ITS SO GOOD WATCH IT NOW)

does anyone know any funky groovy silly songs

(by that i mean songs like "dancing around in circles until my little feet fall off")

[collidescopeeyes]

Time is a Roulette Wheel

Pyke: Pt 3

League of Legends | Pyke x F!Reader

Chapters: Prologue | Viego | Pyke: 1 - 2 - 3

Read the whole thing on AO3 here

SFW

He’s on deck tying nets. It's simple work, but time consuming. Over, around, cinch, repeat. Shanks is chattering to him about something or other, but Pyke's long since started tuning him out.

Across the deck, Iso laughs. He glances up without meaning to. She's talking to the wind mage, Addison; they need to stay on deck while they channel the breeze, and they like company. She tucks her hair behind her ear, blown loose by the wind, and he watches for a moment as she mimes something to accompany whatever story she's telling. He's never been the type to get distracted by a pretty face, but something about her draws him in like a fish on a line. Always has, ever since that first day when he realized she was one of the few honest things about a dishonest town.

He notices a suspicious silence. He glances to the side to see Shanks watching him, or rather watching him watch her. There's a grin on the other man's face he doesn't like. “So, when you finally pop the question, am I gonna be your best man?” Shanks crows, elbowing him in the side. Pyke lets his unimpressed glare be all the answer he needs, and Shanks leans back, hands in the air. “Alright, point taken, you scary motherfucker. God, you're the only man who could ship out with a real bed and a beautiful, talented woman to warm it and still be as sour as an old fucking lemon, y'know that?” He doesn't bother to respond to that. Over, around, cinch. Shanks presses on, undeterred. “You are gonna ask her to marry you, right? Truso’s gotta be paying you enough to afford a nice ring.”

His hands pause on the net. “Never thought about it,” he grunts, and that's true enough. Pyke's never been good with sweet words or grand gestures, not unless she wanted him to kill a giant fish for her. She's never mentioned wanting to get married. Was it even the same, where she's from? He's never asked, and she gets antsy when her past is brought up–he would too, if answering the wrong question had him coughing up glass. He looks at her and thinks my wife, and that's a pleasant enough thought. Never thought he'd be much of a husband, though. Never thought he'd find anyone he wanted to stick around for in the first place, either.

“Unbelievable, you are!” Shanks scoffs. “Haven’t thought of it, Bearded Lady’s hairy tits, man. How’d you land her, anyway? Certainly wasn't with your shining personality.”

Good question. Shanks is a pest, but he's not wrong. He shrugs. “She picked me.”

“C'mon, gotta be more to it than that,” Teal, another harpooner, plops down on the deck next to them. He makes no move to help with the netting. “How'd you meet? Bar?”

“He'll tell you if you help with the bloody net,” Shanks offers in what he probably thinks is a tantalizing voice. Pyke shoots him a glare, but Teal picks up a rope and starts working, and his knotwork is respectable so he supposes letting them pry into his personal life isn't the worst trade.

He sighs. “Buddy down at the slaughter docks nearly had his arm taken off, heard her clinic was good at stuff like that. She gave me a decent price, so I came back when I busted my leg. Lost my purse, but she offered to let me work it off porting for a personal project. Gig was decent, so I kept it on the side.”

There's a moment of silence. “That's it?” Teal says expectantly. “Nothing else?”

He thinks back. “We played cards a lot?” He says hazily.

Teal squints at him. “And she just, what, randomly decided to jump you one day?”

Over, around, cinch. “Pretty much.” Not that he hadn't been just as surprised. Plenty of looks linger on his arms and his muscles, he's not blind. He's got a mean face and a sour attitude to go with it, though, and not many women want to stick around for that. He'd been pleasantly surprised by her interest, but if you'd told him then she still wouldn't be sick of him in a years time he'd have thought you were full of shit.

“You motherfucker, I had money riding on this,” Teal hisses. “I thought for sure there would be alcohol involved.”

“I mean, why you?” Shanks laments. “Just why?”

“Because he's loyal and considerate and handsome, and if I hear this question again I'm going to start disinfecting wounds with vinegar,” Iso says mildly, her arms crossed. The other two were so focused on him they didn't notice her walking up. Shanks startles so badly he almost goes overboard, and Teal ducks his head in shame. Pyke staunchly continues his work, though that's really not a combination of words he would have expected anyone to apply to him.

“Sorry, ma’am,” Shanks says sheepishly, Teal mumbling the same. She nods, gives him a smile, and walks off.

“...you know we're just giving you shit, right?” Shanks says a moment later. “We're happy for you, really.”

“Shut up and tie the line,” Pyke sighs.

---

They collect more sea-beasts than they can store and start heading back a day ahead of schedule. No Jaull-fish yet, but you refuse to let your guard down until you're both safely back on shore.

You've thought about asking him to quit before. You're comfortable enough without the money. Seeing him out here changes your mind; this is his element, and he's worked damn hard to be here. You can't ask him to give that up for something that might not even happen now.

(Putting aside if he even would, just because you asked, but you don't want to think about that)

A week out from home, you're woken in the middle of the night by yelling. You push yourself up off of Pyke's chest muzzily, and he makes an irritated noise. There's a bell going off in a rhythmic pattern; Pyke listens for a moment before groaning “Pirates.”

You clamber to your feet and quickly start changing into your day clothes. Pyke, likewise, sits up and starts shoving his feet into his boots, grumbling. Despite being such an early riser, he hates being woken up. He shrugs on his cloak and passes you your knife belt, before rolling his shoulders and trudging out the door.

The deck is lousy with sailors running to and fro, getting ready to receive the ship plowing towards you. “Iso, good!” Truso catches you by the shoulder, stuffing what has to be far too many flintlocks in his belt. “I don't know how comfortable you are in a fight, but–”

“Pretty comfortable,” you say easily. He sags in relief.

“Perfect, as you were then,” he gives you a thumbs up and then immediately spots someone with a keg of something they shouldn't and strides off, yelling.

“Doc!” A sailor you vaguely recognize appears by your side. “If someone gets hit by a cannonball, how much of them needs to be in one piece for you to fix em?”

“Why?” You ask warily. He points at the railing, where Shanks is swinging a pair of bolas wrapped in a wet cloth.

“He reckons he can land it in a cannon barrel before it goes off, so it backfires,” he explains.

You look at Pyke in wonder. “How the fuck have you not died already?”

He shrugs.

—

“I get it now!” Shanks announces, huddling behind a crate as he frantically reloads his pistols. “She's with you because she's fucking crazy!”

Pyke barely spares him a glance. Any second now this bastard shooting at them is going to have to reload, and then Pyke is going to yank him onto their deck and stab him in the face–

Iso goes launching onto the enemy ship, using the crate they're covering behind as a step up. Love of his life plunging headfirst into active gunfire aside, he's not one to waste an opportunity, so he stands and launches his harpoon into the gunners shoulder and drags him against the railing Iso has just landed on. She doesn't even spare him a glance, just kicks him hard in the temple and moves on. Pyke doesn't make the conscious decision to go after her, but nonetheless finds himself halfway across the deck.

“That's what I'm fucking talking about!” Shanks yells as Pyke scales the rope still stuck between gunner and the railing. “Crazy!”

She moves like she has no concept she could even get hurt. He crests the railing in time to watch her throw knife after knife, hilts to throats and skulls and eyes. Two men approach from her side–he rips his blade from the body and throws it at the furthest one's knee, piercing it from the side, and pulls the rope taut to trip the other. She turns and launches a knife into his head before he even hits the ground, but in her distraction another pirate pulls a sword on her. He yells before he even registers the warning leaving his mouth, and she turns in time to take the blade through the shoulder instead of the throat. She kicks, sending the man stumbling back, and then rips the blade out of her shoulder and cuts him down. There's barely even blood on her shirt, how fast she healed herself. No pause in her movements from the pain, just focus in her eyes as she moves to the next target.

“Iso!” He yells, voice harsh with anger and adrenaline and a bone deep fear he's never quite felt before. The next pirate between them gets his blade to their throat, and he doesn't stop to look as he rips it out of them, just keeps heading her way. She glances at him as he approaches, and it's like she doesn't even recognize him for a moment. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” She blinks, and the fog clears, like she's coming back from somewhere far away. She glances down at the tear in her shirt where the blade was like she's only just noticed it.

“I liked this shirt,” she says mournfully. Someone swings at her, and she ducks under it and plants a knife in their gut.

“Stop getting stabbed, then,” he suggests tersely, catching a sword swing on his harpoon blade. “There's no fixing dead.”

She has the audacity to snort at him as she knifes the wielder of the blade he's fending off. A tide of sailors floods the deck, heartened by their charge. He sticks close behind her, watching her back and creating opportunities for her to strike, and together their knives cut bloody swathes through the pirates. He's never had much problem with fighting pirates, but there's a new viciousness in him with her on the line. It's a swift battle, but brutal, and they come out on top.

After, Iso fixes up their wounded, and Pyke watches her. Not for the first time, he's struck with the sensation that he's caught a glimpse of a ghost, that someone she used to be rose to the surface for just a moment. She fights like a pit rat, like someone who's been doing it so long that fighting feels like home. Her hands are soft and she doesn't have any scars to speak of, but she fights like she ought to. She has a past, and he won't ask because she can't tell, but he wonders.

She tucks her hair behind her ear as she sends the last of the wounded off, and blood smears on her cheek. He frowns. He knows where she keeps the clean cloths, at least–she’s particular where she puts things back home, and it's the same here. She gives him a soft smile when he kneels down and starts cleaning her hands off.

“You scared the shit out of me out there,” he tells her. She looks sheepish, at least. “I know you can fix yourself, but that doesn't make watching you get hurt easy.”

She shrugs one shoulder uncertainly. “I just…I’m used to it, I guess. Didn't have much choice, back when…” and she pauses, swallowing, feeling the edges of her curse.

He wants to ask, but knowing her she might just try to answer, so he doesn't. He folds the cloth over and wipes the blood from her cheek. “Goes both ways, y'know,” he says instead. Her brow creases in confusion. “You die, I'm gonna kill you.”

She laughs. “You don't have to worry about that.”

A knock on the door frame. “Cap wants you, Pyke,” he glances over to see a sailor, one of the men who prepares the sea-beasts for transport. “We’re stealing their grog and sending the survivors off with enough to get to land.”

Iso perks up. “There are drinks on the table?”

—

He forgot Iso is a lightweight. She doesn't tend to drink much at home, though most drinks in Bilgewater are watered down piss anyway so he's never thought much of it. The tipsiest he's ever seen her was at a going-away party for one of her regular patients and his old crew mate, a newly-wed couple off to try their luck in Piltover–to be fair, he'd also probably had too much to drink, because his only clear memories of that night are arriving, a cask of Freljordian mead, Iso trying to jump him in the back, and then trying to walk home carrying her while she mouthed at his neck and did her level best to wreck his tenuous self-control. This is probably as bad.

She's singing a shanty from her home, and aside from the fact that he's never heard of a place called France, it's hardly any different from the ones he's heard. She bellows the last line, and someone else picks up with another song as she catches her breath. She turns to look at him, eyes bright, and the way she smiles at him does something funny to his insides. He's not exactly sober either, he'll admit. She makes her way across the galley to the corner he's claimed–he’s not one for being the center attention, and everyone wanted a piece of hers after the stunt she pulled.

“Pyke,” she croons as she reaches him, half falling against his side. She rests her head against his chest and looks up at him through those pretty lashes of hers. He winds an arm around her waist, and she’s so soft that sometimes he feels like he's committing some sort of sacrilege just by touching her. His hands are made for bone and salt and blood, not softness or sweetness. “I can't believe your name is actually Pyke. I thought that was a nickname. Cuz of the, y'know,” she mimes throwing a harpoon. “Although I don't know what it'd be short for. Pycheal!” she says, then bursts out laughing at her own joke.

He frowns down at her. “That's like saying Iso is short for…” he pauses, struggling with his limited vocabulary. “Isometric?” He's pretty sure that's a word he's heard her say before.

She laughs. “Fuck, I dunno, maybe it is. I just picked it.”

He looks at her curiously. “Not the name you were born with?”

She shakes her head. “Wasn't allowed to use my old one, when I came here.” She gestures at her throat and he nods in sudden understanding. “I dunno why. Most of the rules make sense, but my name? Why the fuck does that matter?” She looks off into the distance, frowning. “All the Voidspawn have weird names. Maybe it's just important for them.”

He blinks. His understanding of the Void goes as far as that it's a big problem somewhere far away from here. “What does that have to do with…” he pauses, then shakes his head. He doesn't need to know, and she probably shouldn't answer.

She looks up at him again, this time with an odd look in her eyes. Remorseful, almost. “Sorry I got stabbed. And for jumping on the pirate ship. People kept calling me crazy and I realized that that's because that was a crazy thing to do, and I thought that if you did something crazy like that I'd be pretty mad at you, so. Sorry.”

He must be drunk, because the next thing out of his mouth is “D’you wanna marry me?”

She blinks at him. “Like, now?”

It's not a no. He swallows, trying to conceal the way his heart is flopping in his chest like a beached trout. “Sure.”

She squints. “Do you have a ring? Do people even use rings here?”

“Doesn't have to be a ring,” he says. “Buhru tradition is a trophy from a hunt. My ma got a shark tooth."

She blinks up at him, then pokes one of the shark teeth he wears on his belt. “Okay. Give me that one.”

He looks at the tooth she's pointing at. “What, just that one? You don't want a…special one?”

“That one is special, it's yours,” she says earnestly. “Some big fucking fish tried to kill you, and you said no. Just keep doing that, keep coming back home to me, and I'll marry you as many times as you want.”

He's not good with words, and his tongue feels thick in his mouth, so he just reaches over and snaps the tooth off its chain. She beams as he hands it to her, and he watches in bemusement as she bends down and undoes one of the leather laces for her tall boots. She fishes a knife out and cuts it halfway, and then sets the tooth against the wall and strikes it in the center as if her knife was a chisel. It cracks into two halves, the edges slightly jagged where they fit together, which she binds up as pendants with her improvised leather cords. Her creations complete, she stands up on her toes to loop one around his neck.

He swallows harshly as the bone settles against his skin. She hands him the other and turns around, pulling her hair out of the way, and he’s never been so careful about tying a knot in his life. When it's done, she turns to smile at him, and there isn't a thing on this earth that could stop him from kissing her in that moment.

—

You wake up with the worst headache you've ever had. You groan, throwing your arm over your eyes to block the light.

“Not even magic fixes hangovers, huh?” Pyke rumbles. You decide that wedging your face in between his arm and his side is much more effective means of blinding yourself.

“Aren't you supposed to be doing, iunno, sailor stuff?” You croak.

“Cap’n gave us a honeymoon off,” he says. His fingers trace up and down your spine. “May have had a few words with him about my wife getting stabbed under his employ.”

Oh yeah. That happened. Vague memories return to you about necklaces, and then Shanks insisting on doing a ceremony, and then a lot more drinking. “Do you think Shanks is actually a priest?” You wonder aloud. He claimed very loudly to be, but by that point he was also insisting he had personally executed the pirate's captain, so.

“Does it matter?” he asks.

You suppose it doesn't. It's Bilgewater–not like there's a marriage registry. Laws are only laws insofar as anyone can be fucked to enforce them. If Shanks said he was a priest, then fuck it, you may as well be married now. You lift your head up and rest your chin on his chest, next to the pendant. He cracks one sea-glass green eye and looks at you, not quite smiling but as at peace as you've ever seen him, and you think no, it really doesn't matter. You're happy right here, right now.

—

“Tell me again,” you grit out.

The captain–no point remembering his name, he's a dead man walking anyway–shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably. “There was a Jaull-fish. It almost sunk the ship. Pyke was already in the water, and the lines snapped–”

“Don't fucking lie to me,” you snap. “You cut the lines.”

He flinches, and tries to cover it with a scowl. “Ma’am, I know it's tough to hear, but I don't appreciate what you're insinuating–”

“I'm not insinuating anything,” you hiss. “You know what you did, and if you weren't already as good as dead I'd kill you my fucking self. Now get out of my house.”

“Ma’am–” he tries. You hurl a knife at him, and it embeds itself in the wall next to his head. He gets the message and leaves.

After, you sag against the floor. Stupid. Stupid, stupid man got himself eaten by a stupid fucking fish, and you were a stupid idiot for thinking that he wouldn't. It wasn't even the Terror–when he left, he said it was named something stupid, something to do with Guppies. Why was it still a Jaull-fish? What changed? What didn't change? What the fuck do you do now?

You scrub your wet eyes, trying to reign your breathing in. Fine. So he got eaten by a fish. He'll come back. With a list of names being manipulated by fish from the bottom of the world, sure, but he'll come back, and you'll fix him. You just have to find him first.

—

“Wh-what do you want with me?” The sailor asks, after he wakes up. One convenient thing about being a doctor is no one thinks much of you buying chloroform.

“Me? Nothing,” you say, watching him struggle against the rope. “But Pyke does, and I've got some strong words to have with him.”

His eyes go perfectly round. “P-Pyke’s not…he's dead, lady, I-I’m sorry, but he is, I saw him go down myself–”

“I know,” you say grimly. “That's why you're here.”

—

“Pyke?” You say cautiously. He looks up at you as he rips his blade from the sailors throat. You're not broken up about it–you’d followed the man for weeks before you got a chance to nab him, and he was a real piece of shit.

Pyke turns to look at you, and it's like seeing double. That's your husband, the man you've grown to love over the last two years, and it's the corpse you were expecting to see ever since you met. He looks almost the same as the day he left, except there's a trifecta of scars running across his face and his eyes glow with an unearthly blue. You already miss his eyes, the sea-glass green, the warmth in them. Now he looks at you like a stranger. “Pyke, it's me,” you urge, willing recognition into those awful blue eyes.

His eyes narrow. “You look…familiar. What's your name?”

“Iso,” you prompt, cautiously approaching with your hands up. The list is already in his hand from the last guy, but surely he already knows the names on it–was the Deep manipulating it already? Was he ever after the crew that got him killed? He glances it over, then frowns and shakes his head.

“That's not…” his voice is thick with confusion and his eyes are hazy. Then he glares at you. “Tell me your real name.”

You blink, an awful strangling feeling between hope and despair straining your voice. “How do you know that? Think, Pyke. You know I can't tell you.” Another step.

His eyes go to the list again. “Iso…Iso?” He mutters under his breath. “I don't know an…” he shakes his head furiously, clutching it with a groan. You wait with baited breath. For one glorious moment, there's a spark of recognition in his eyes–and then it fades, fogging over. He tilts his head, as if he's listening to something you can't hear, then shakes his head. “You're not on my list,” he says.

You're close enough. You launch yourself at him, sweeping his legs out and pinning him to the dirty warehouse floor. You feel him trying to come apart under your hands, his edges going damp and indefinite with seawater that isn't quite there, but you grip his time tight and force it back, back–until you can't anymore. It's the same feeling you got when you tried to rewind yourself back home, that something had changed so fundamentally that what you are and who you were are only connected in your mind, that the past was so far away nothing could ever bring it back. That the man you know is the gone.

“No, nonono,” you plead. Pyke looks up at you with blank, uncomprehending, blue eyes. “Give him back, you piece of shit. Give him back to me!”

“What are you–?” You can stop him from turning to sea mist under your hands, at least, wind him back to solid. He's trying to leave. Fucker. “Get off me.”

You grip him by the collar and pull him up, searching his eyes for something, anything. “Can they hear me, your new bosses? Can you hear me, you fish fucks? I'll kill you. I've killed bigger and worse and you picked the wrong man to take.”

He hisses under his breath, apparently giving his newfound ocean powers up and resorting to good old fashioned violence. He swings, and you duck back in time to avoid taking a fist to the face, but as your balance shifts he surges up and throws you off him. For a moment he looks at you, obviously torn, and then he vanishes.

“You motherfucker,” you seethe into the empty night.

—

You hunt him more intently than any bounty hunter. You don't really stop him from killing anyone, mind–near as you can tell everyone he kills makes Bilgewater a better place, but honestly in a town like this you could throw a knife in any given direction and accomplish that. You don't know where he goes when he's not on the hunt, but he only seems to come up in proximity to a dead body. Still, you dog his every step like a bloodhound. He doesn't quite try to kill you, but you obviously unsettle him, and he does everything in his power to avoid you short of giving up a kill.

“Who are you?” He demands, after the third time you track him down. “Why won't you fuck off already?”

You fish your pendant out of your clothes. “I'm your wife, you ungrateful fuck, and when you finally get your memories back in that thick skull you're gonna feel like a real asshole.”

His fingers go to his cloak, where his matching one would rest underneath the fabric. “A wife? No, I don't have a…” and this is the part that shits you off the most. That moment of clarity where he almost, almost recognizes you, and then it slips away. He clutches his head, and there it is, the cusp of understanding dragged away by whatever voices drive him now. He looks back up at you, and there's something oddly desperate in his voice when he grits out “You're not on my list. I don't know what you're trying to do or who you think I am, but you're wrong. Leave me alone.”

“Not happening,” you hiss, even as he turns and dives into the water. He's right, though, as much as you hate to admit it–this wasn't working. Being around you wasn't jogging any memories, and if it was, the Deep smothers then back down. Maybe you needed to go directly to the source, then.

—

“This is new,” you note. Pyke's blue eyes stare at you from the reflection of the water. You were only on this pier to drink your woes away–he's never sought you out before, and despite yourself, hope rises in you. “Is it cuz I killed that Jaull-fish?”

“You what?” He says, confused.

You sigh. “Guess not. Didn't help, by the way. Don't know if you've ever tried to negotiate with a giant murder fish, but they don't fold easy, even when they're drowning.” You rewound miles of ocean to before it was ever a sea just to air-drown a fucking fish, and it still got you nothing but a raging headache, a week comatose, and some increasingly exaggerated rumors about yourself, courtesy of the boat you paid to bring you out there.

He's quiet for so long you would've thought him gone, if not for his reflection in the water. Then, he sits heavily next to you on the docks, his blade in his lap. “Deep calls to me,” he says slowly, like he's not sure how to explain it. “In a thousand voices, all of them wanting blood. You make them go quiet, and they don't like that.” He presses his thumb to the edge of his blade. “They don't like that you call to me, too.”

You slide him a sideways look. “Do you even still have it?” You ask tiredly. “The pendant?”

He hesitates a long moment, as if he's struggling to focus. Then he fishes it out from under his cloak and looks at it, brow furrowed. You sigh. “You made me a promise, on that tooth. You said you'd come back home to me. But you're not home, and you're not even you, and I don't know if you'll ever be again.” You scrub your face with your hands. It's been months since he died. You're so, so tired. “I don't know how to fix you, Pyke, and I…I don't even know if I can.”

“I don't…” he says slowly, then shakes his head. “My head’s not right, I know that. Things keep changing on me, and most of the time that doesn't matter to me, but with you I feel…” he trails off.

“Feel what?” You prompt.

“When you're drowning, it starts to feel like home, like peace. It's breathing again that hurts the most.” That burbling echo in his voice goes distant, and you don't have to look to know he's gone.

You drink alone on the pier.

—

You haul your equipment out to the hill again. Hiring another porter seems like a pain in the ass, and you made a lot of money off that Jaull-fish, so you buy the land and build a cottage on it. Clinic gets less traffic now that people think you're some kind of sea-god, anyway.

—

Sometimes you see blue eyes watching you from the dark. He never comes close, and you don't either. He made his choice.

—

You find it. Your world, or something that looks so close it makes your heart ache. You project it onto a full-length mirror frame and you watch the world that used to be yours go by, until the sun fully sets and the crystals in your telescope dim and your world slides out of focus again. The mirror shows nothing but your own reflection, slumped to your knees before it. You hadn't realized you were crying until you see the tear tracks on your face.

You sit there, in the dark, for a very long time.

—

Pyke stays gone, until you turn around one day and he's right there. “Fish finally convince you I need killing?” You ask dryly. It's the only reason you'll let yourself think of for him being here, and they're about to be real fucking disappointed if that was the case.

His wide eyes, which were fixed over your shoulder, fly to you. “No, that's not…” he shakes his head, and then drops his knife, holding his empty hands up imploringly. “Don't go. Please.”

Your brow furrows in confusion, and you follow his gaze to your mirror–he’s arrived just as the sunset hit your telescope, as the light cast a window to your world into your home. It probably said something about you, that for all that you've watched that mirror every day for the past month, your chest burning with grief, the second he shows back up you completely forget about it. You turn back to him slowly, heart in your throat. “Pyke?”

He takes a step towards you, and then pauses like he's not sure he should. “I remember now. The Kraken Priestess, she did something to me, and I…I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, and I know my head still isn't right but I…” he looks at you pleadingly. “I’m here. I came back home to you.”

“Took your fucking time,” you say, voice tight, and throw yourself into his arms.

—

After you're done crying, and then punching him in the arm, and then kissing him senseless, you curl up on the couch in front of the fire.

“I don't know if it's the same, if that's really back home,” you explain softly, your head on his chest. He doesn't have a heartbeat anymore, but somehow he's still warm, still smells like the sea. “Looks like it is, but honestly, even if I could figure out how to actually get there without opening a gaping hole in this reality, there's no guarentee it'd be where I came from. And that's putting aside that it's been decades since…” you trail off, your curse at the cusp of burning in your throat. Honestly, nature of parallel worlds being what it was and with your fucking luck, you'd probably end up in the KDA universe or something stupid like that.

“I wouldn't blame you, for leaving,” he says, voice rough and low. “I'd hate it, but I wouldn't blame you.”

You glance up at him, at his blue, blue eyes. Then you swing yourself up to sit in his lap, cupping his face between your palms. He wraps his arms around your back, letting you turn his head this way and that, examining his face. The well-healed ridges of his new scar, and the glow of his eyes–they make his gaze seem much more piercing than before, like a shark. He's gotten paler, too–not much sun where he spends his time, you suppose. He still looks like him. “Why are you back now?” You ask softly. “What changed?”

He's quiet for a moment. “What Illaoi did…put a new voice in my head, one that wasn't the Deep demanding blood. The Mother Serpent is a thing of flow, of moving towards what you want, and after that anger was gone…what I wanted most was you.”

You make a reminder to yourself to heal every Buhru you meet for free. “Is it gonna stick?” You ask, voice thready with uncertainty.

He glares at nothing in particular. “It will. I'll make it. They want me to do their killing, I'll do it on my terms.”

“How do you know they won't just…stop keeping you alive?” You ask hesitantly. Your fingers trace over his chest, next to his pendant, where a heartbeat would be if he had one. It scares the absolute fuck out of you, that your powers can't help him.

“Don't think they can, not anymore,” he shrugs, careful not to upset your balance. “Whatever I am now doesn't belong just to the Deep, Mother Serpent saw to that.”

You hesitate a moment. “I don't care, about the whole…Blood Harbor Ripper thing,” you tell him. “I mean, maybe I would if those people weren't complete fucking scumbags, but apparently the fish have morals, so whatever. It's just…you know those people you kill aren't what you think they are, right? They weren't there when you died.”

He's quiet for a long, long moment. “I know. At least, sometimes I do. Deep gives me a reason to hunt, but I've never been much fussed about killing people who deserve it anyway.” He looks up at you, frowning. “I'm…crazy, I know that much. I know I'm not what you married, anymore.”

“You are,” you insist. “I knew…I mean, I didn't want to admit it, and by God did I try to stop it, but…I knew this could be you, and I married you anyway, and I meant what I said when I did. I don't care about…fucking eldritch murder fishes, or their hitlist, or that you're only breathing when you need to talk. As long as you keep coming home to me, that's enough,” you tell him earnestly.

He lets out a soft breath, and a rough hand comes up to cup your cheek. “I love you. You know that, right?”

You lean into his touch. “Obviously. I love you too.”

He chuckles. “Good, ‘cause I haven't told you that I'm going to the Shadow Isles to kill Gangplank yet.”

You blink again, this time in confusion. “Wait, what? Why? Didn't Fortune already kill him?”

He shrugs. “Apparently not. Deep wants him dead, Nagakaborous wants him dead, I get to renegotiate my contract if I kill him. Everyone swims away happy.”

You frown. “I'm obviously coming with you. And before you get all fussy, I can take care of myself, I literally can't die, and I'm not letting you leave me again."

He blinks. “You…can't die," he repeats.

“Did I not mention that? I swear I mentioned that,” you say sheepishly.

He looks at you, blue eyes searching yours, and then sighs. “Not like I'm in any position to doubt. Besides, Fortune’s probably gonna be happier to see you than me.” You give him a confused look, and he shrugs. “Swimming to the Shadow Isles would take too long. Fortune wants him dead, Nagakaborous wants me to kill him, Fortune recruited Nagakaborous' priestess to help her kill him. And she has a ship."

“So you were gonna just show up and ask to join the murder party, because she hired someone whose god hired you to help kill a guy who should already be dead?" You summarize slowly. He nods. “Well, okay, yeah, Fortune probably wants Gangplank dead more than she cares that you're a wanted murderer. Wait, do the fish want you to kill Fortune?”

He shrugs again. “She's near the bottom of the list. I don't work overtime for free.”

You can't help it. You laugh, dropping your head against his shoulder. “What, like you're getting a salary? A benefits plan? You should unionize.”

“I'm their only employee, I've got all the bargaining power in the world,” he says easily. He cups your cheek, turning your face to his so he can kiss you softly. “They're not keeping me from you again, I swear it.”

You lean into him, feeling him warm and solid and here, him, finally just him. Your husband, the man you love and the man you've dreaded him becoming since you met and the man you knew deep down he was always going to be. You don't know what exactly the Deep wants with him, or where the wind blows from here, but you know you're going to face it together, and that's enough for you.