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thedatasciencehyderabad · 4 years ago

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Navigate to Address:360DigiTMG - Data Analytics, Data Science Course Training Hyderabad

2-56/2/19, 3rd floor,, Vijaya towers, near Meridian school,, Ayyappa Society Rd, Madhapur,, Hyderabad, Telangana 500081

099899 94319

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freejobalertguru · 5 years ago

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Eastern Railway jobs 2020 | 2792 Act Apprentice Recruitment | Free Job Alert 2021

Eastern Railway jobs 2020 | 2792 Act Apprentices Recruitment | Free Job Alert 2021 Vacancy details : रेलवे भर्ती सेल, पूर्वी रेलवे मे 2792 पदों पर 'एक्ट अपरेंटिस' की भर्ती Recently Eastern Railway Notification released and invites Sarkari Naukri Jobs application. Check Qualification & eligibility conditions, how to apply & other rules are given below Download Notification, Exam Dates Check All Details carefully.

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रेलवे भर्ती सेल, पूर्वी रेलवे पद का नाम: एक्ट अपरेंटिस Railway Recruitment Cell, Eastern Railway Name Of Post: Act Apprentices No. of Vacancies: 2792 Advertisement No.: RRC-ER/Act Apprentices/2019-20 Starting Date: 06.03.2020 Last Date: 05.04.2020 (Extended Date)

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joyfullyimportantyouth-blog · 7 years ago

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What I’ve Found From Riding Trains, by Isabelle Hoonan

Even if countries were connected across oceans by trains, I still wouldn’t take them every day. Even if the gilded splendors of a Moscow mosque or the thin air of Everest were readily available, I would take caution to parcel out this privilege. Perhaps I would hop on once a month to preserve the delicacy of anonymity. Riding a train to a foreign locale is an act of accepting calm before unsettlement. It is an intentional act of leaving, followed by a chaotic thrush of discovery with each new thing you encounter: it is a gift to not waste. Should the opportunity arise to disappear on a train for a while, towards something you do not know, it should still be reserved in rarity so it doesn’t lose its meanings.

Imagine closing your eyes in the shady enclave of the Redwoods and waking up to the smell of creamy espresso in Budapest. Your face is welted by the imprints of your backpack zipper because you took care to sleep on your few belongings. Instead of the steadiness of an airplane ride, sitting on a train is to be a witness of the changing landscapes, of the people coming on and off the platform, the scrum of moving forward and learning how to sit still.

I have found three things I have faith in while riding on trains: love, solitude, and asking questions. They are, in ways, extensions of each other. To love is to embed within the grains of affirmation and failure. The humility and ego that come uninvited with these experiences of loving require asking questions of yourself and another, while also stepping away to remember who you are outside of someone else.

There’s no order to loving and being alone and asking questions: they are all a combustion of reacting to what must be done to be better, to be greater than what we think we are. To survive. They are our mirrors of experience deepened into no-name meaning. Clarity is not a guarantee, because we all are capable of lying, of having former selves answer for us. But a train pulls us along to see what is to come.

To ask questions is not as intellectual as it may sound. It is to want to feel a situation outside of your life view, to know the stories that happened before the outcomes. It is to strive to not be trite no matter the hardships you’ve pillowed beneath the joys, because questions are not about who you are. To ask questions… is a loving choice of asking to know what you do not know, an act of saying you do not assume, that you will not judge, that you are listening. It is a gesture to surrender to the expanse of all that you may not ever know fully when you speak to someone. These moments of asking, in silence and the soft punctuation of voice, are interims of existing. They consist of an invisible transformation after everything that’s already been done but now voiced. They are a guiding prelude of everything you must do now. Hold onto them, let them go, and let them return.

I found love on a train in India. One morning, I was woken up by the strange strokes of small fingers against my dirty socks and the smell of burning trash when I blasted my eyes open. Three sets of children’s arms were half teetering on the ladder to my upper bunk, giggling as I twisted myself off of my lumpy backpack to face them. They ran away, bumping into old women in magenta and capsicum hued saris. They wove their way towards samosas being sold through the cracks of metal barred windows rusted from the 1950’s. I settled into my book, a pilfered find from a hostel back in Varanassi, Alex Haley’s “The Autobiography of Malcolm X.” My boyfriend slept soundly on the bunk below. The thin plastic mattress creaked as I shifted to stretch a little before we would get off in a few hours to the mayhem of Mumbai.

It would have been 28 hours on the train, our route starting in Varanassi near the ghats and ending in Mumbai’s maze-like metropolis, where cows walked in the roads next to skyscrapers. This was our second full month together, which began in Nepal in October and would end in May in Mumbai after seven months of travel, without a single day spent apart.

When I look back at this relationship, my very first boyfriend, I cannot help but feel that it was more than just my first series of train rides: it was learning how to give trust to uncertainty, because things always seemed to work themselves out after 28 hours. We rode so many trains on that trip that became a stamp of first love, the gift of freedom that gave us mornings huddled together on a rain soaked train winding its way through the jungle of Sri Lanka and the promising endlessness of starched bright desert in Jasailmer.

Sometimes we were quiet from the night before, when we argued about money or about small infractions, like how I wasn’t okay eating street food (so dumb, just get sick it’s fine, I think now). Sometimes we were so content drinking chai out of small ceramic cups, a rupee each. Sometimes I could feel the burst of my heart against the walls of fear when he would run off the train with not a minute before it left, swinging around the corner into our section with newspaper-wrapped samosas and I would wrap my arms around him with this melting relief.

Those trains led us all around India, all the way to the North of Thailand from Bangkok, where we worked for a month at a holistic rehabilitation center near Chiang Rai. We found our way back to India running onto trains that led us from Kolkata to Agra, to Rajasthan. It pierces me how much of the good and the bad were catalysts of the train, of losing money and stumbling upon conversations of what we wanted in our lives that would last for hours... the exchange of ideas of what we were reading swelling our need to move and find things out for ourselves, together and apart in our own thoughts. The mixture of sitting still while staring at the reel of passing desert into darkness, only to watch it all fall away, brought the next round of chai’s and holding each other’s gaze. It was as if to let the other know we were there without saying anything, that it was okay to be afraid sometimes, to trust, because that too would fall away. Home was far away but becoming wherever we were sleeping that night. I imagine this when I imagine how my traveling life began on trains. I was twenty.

I found solitude on a train from Seattle to Bellingham. Amtrak became my constant companion my first year of college, when each ambling walk to class became myself obsessed with figuring out who I was going to be, and who I was going to be was not where I was in this docile hippie college town. The swarms of joining and breaking social groups in the dorms, where girls would form quick alliances then herd from gym to cafeteria to class, confused me. I had dreamed college would be a slew of coffee dates and discussing pretentiously directed seminars on Camus. People who had lived in Paris would become my friends, and they would inquire about my time living in England as a thirteen-year-old loner who found solace reading in the musty library and asking strangers if I could eat with them. Basically, I expected my life to be like a low-budget indie feature film.

Each weekend became a disappointment of how lame the parties were, although I still wanted to go to them, and classes packed with four-hundred people discussing Murphy’s Law. I would go home to see my parents and unload my existential grief, but these train rides gave me a harsh glare of my entitlement, my craving for direction that I couldn’t create at that moment, a space for me to daydream of what was to come, which involved going to far off places where I would truly feel like an “artist.”

So I would draw and draw, write, think, listening to music and seeing the mountains meeting the Sound in a new way. I remember my first winter break lugging my duffel onto the train and settling at a window seat, the saltiness of the air and my feelings weighing heavy on my pen as I set myself on drawing my way into Juilliard or some New York bound school. I was all about the accolades, the rewards, recognition.

Doing art made me tired of myself sometimes, and for good reason, because I asked so many questions but didn’t know what else to do with myself. Why couldn’t I just be someone who simply enjoyed things? If I was to accept my peripatetic leanings, I needed to decide what kind of artist I would be, which is probably why I posed like a judgmental-sensitive Kate Moss fascist in all black 24/7, dangling my Baudelaire book and willingness to take a tequila shot at a fake rave because I was so intent on being well-rounded COOL. Ugh.

Maybe I’d be an actress or a street artist or… I don’t know. At that moment, I was really into replaying the start and stop of the night before, which had transpired like a really shitty Boy Meets World revival that I thought was really, really deep. I had tried to kiss a boy I’d already kissed before, swirling in innocent dorm drinking, celebrating the end of finals and the ending legalization of Four Lokos. He was from Colorado, liked watching Planet Earth but had sworn off weed in favor of incense, and was very unattainable because he was in an open relationship. So… complicated, and thus very appealing to figure out. This was even before astrological compatibility was en vogue.

He made me want to do shrooms because apparently you could see the universe in a kaleidoscope and have some Jungian insight about your priorities. He was worldly and had lived in the Utah desert and was set to go to India and wrote Arabic on his notecards with my calligraphy pens when we would study together in the library. But yes, he had rejected my optioning that we could be a thing, because he was focused and that made me angry, because it meant that I had none if I was going after a boy who wouldn’t chase me. So I did what I always did when I fell down, which was to reject the rejector and still chase after them half-heartedly and be sort of apocalyptic about how my art would always be the most consistent and torturous thing to pursue. I filled so many afternoons drained with furiously typing poems that I later hated. I wish I had seen the sweetness of it all then, which now I see as beautiful for trying to make things matter, even if it was all a bit contrived and suburban girl angsty, like a bad 90′s sitcom spinoff doused in nice clothing and bad cocktail choices in a college town.

“I’m okay,” I would think after I would finish the train ride and disembark towards another destination: home, filled with heated coffee cups and roads I knew well enough to sleepwalk drive, even for a temporary time. I was nineteen.

I found asking questions on a train heading from Toulouse to Bordeaux to St. Foy La Grande. I was twenty-five, on the heels of a breakup, and headed to go meditate for a week straight to “get rid of” this self-antagonizing, self-fabling stewing. I wanted to stop screwing myself over. I couldn’t keep dwelling.

It was time to transfer at Bordeaux, a mad dash to get my ticket and run to the next train for St. Foy La Grande, where Buddhist nuns would be awaiting to bring a group of us to Thich Nhat Hahn’s “hamlets.”

I scanned the train times and asked a stern looking attendant where I was supposed to go in halting French, trying to rephrase before she threw her hands up and gave up. “Fuck… okay,” I got mad at myself then realized this was whatever, I’d figure it out. I decided to say c’est la vie and run to the platform I thought was usually the route, with an end stop of Bergerac. I ran through a bunch of peacoats and perfectly lipsticked French faces to the platform with an end stop of Bergerac and found it was my stop: ça roule.

“Is this the train to St. Foy La Grande?” a woman asked me in English. She was carrying a small luggage with her and had a twangy Australian accent, looked about in her sixties, and had sassy frosted pink lipstick and had matched her powder blue luggage to her cashmere sweater. She was also traveling alone and had a beautiful French train employee named Pierre carrying her other bag for her. Her name was Sheryl. I liked her immediately. She had the exact kind of throw caution to the wind but take care of yourself older woman allure that I wanted. We ended up talking the whole train ride to St. Foy La Grande, where I asked her questions and she asked me some and more.

I asked where she was from (New Zealand, my faulty mistake). I asked why she traveled (her husband had died a few years ago and she needed to move). She gave me the salt of the earth older woman advice that I so craved as a wandering but not quite so young but sometimes a beginner mid-twenty-something-year-old.

“I started traveling when I was young, but over the last few years I haven’t settled much until now,” she told me. “No matter how much I moved around after Alan’s death, the grief still followed me. I could be waking up in a villa in Santorini, greeted by the sun and the surf, looking fantastic in a white string bikini with sangria and pool boys surrounding me, and I would sometimes feel close to nothing. I would feel grateful while watching a sunset, but my head would be a haze of sadness. These things follow you, you know. Loss. You just have to learn how to sit still with time and somehow, after going through all of that hell, you find some light without needing to try so hard.”

Now she was having a light affair with her gardener and had the cut the bullshit and go be awesome attitude that was hard-earned with age and experience.

“Honey, as hard as it is, it’s important to learn how to keep it light. I was like you and tried to find the depth in questions. I wondered how men who didn’t wonder so much about me could be figured out or try and find something that didn’t quite exist in them. Just learn to leave it. Just be an international woman of mystery, and the suitors will come calling, but they’re only the appetizer. The most important journeys, like train rides, are the ones where you ride alone or are accompanied by a friend to cut you up in laughter. Or the ones you stare out the window wondering where you’re meant to be. These journeys are the ones that sweeten the real love, that bring a friendship deeper to yourself or with a girlfriend. They are the ones where you discover yourself most that will give you the type of grace and grit that allow you to say hello and goodbye to places and people that don’t ask anything from you as long as you don’t ask anything from them. These sweeten the deal of life.”

When I headed back from St. Foy La Grande to Bordeaux to Toulouse Matabieu, I had spent a week meditating, especially on Sheryl’s life wisdom. I had thought a lot and not thought so much simultaneously. Who knew breathing could be breathing into something greater. It lightened my soul to feel the depth of being good enough for now again, of being curious, of realizing it wasn’t all about me, all these thoughts and feelings backstories but not the main show.

The main show was being right here, no dress rehearsal needed or discussing too much so as to not infringe upon instinct to act with that grace and grit Sheryl spoke of. I sipped a super fine glass of wine after a week of tea and watched a sheet of bright blue sky and laughed at and with myself, this me sitting at a cafe by the train station while the nuns waved, pretty damn happy with myself. Because being young and free can be a whole life thing if you can laugh a wild laughter in the heart of sadness, not to discredit, but to say “I’m back” even for just a second. I was twenty-six.

#womenwhotravel ridingtrains travelwisdom

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bigyack-com · 5 years ago

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Here is Mamata Banerjee’s gameplan to benefit from CAA-NRC controversy - india news

Streets are the preferred way in West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee’s brand of politics. Be it the Singur agitation on the national highway or sitting in a dharna in solidarity with Kolkata top cop Rajeev Kumar when CBI tried to catch the latter over a chit fund scam case, Banerjee has always found it suitable to hit the streets to protest.This time too, there’s no exception. The West Bengal Chief Minister has already led two major protest march - one each in south and north Kolkata and has told her audience that National Register of Citizens (NRC) and the Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA) would be implemented in West Bengal only over her dead body. Her aides say that she will organise more such protest programmes in the near future.Also, for Banerjee, who walks nearly 10km daily (the terrace of the state secretariat is one of her favourite places to walk) to keep herself fighting fit, any protest march naturally fits the bill for all practical purposes.The twin marches, however, is sharply focused for as many purposes. One, it will further consolidate the minority voters in favour of Trinamool. And two, to try and mop up the support of the liberal, educated Bengali bhadralok (including the students) who are upset with the idea of CAA.In the 2014 Lok Sabha elections, Trinamool Congress was the second largest Opposition party with 34 seats. But after five years, they were reduced to 22 seats and the BJP tally jumped from just two to 18 in the state, thanks to the largescale shift of the traditional Left vote to the BJP.A cautious Banerjee, a veteran of many political battles, eyes the CAA and NRC protests to woo back the middle-class, educated vote bank that shifted from red to saffron in the last Lok Sabha polls. With the Trinamool at the forefront of the anti-CAA and NRC protests in Bengal, and the Congress and the Left offering pale shadows of their past, Banerjee wants to emerge as the only choice for anti-BJP voters.The Trinamool can also hope that the emotive issue of CAA-NRC will distract the people’s attention from the many charges of corruption against lower-ranking party leaders.With Bengal assembly elections scheduled to be held in less than two years, Banerjee will desperately cling to the CAA-NRC issue also to lure the students, a strong and vocal vote bank towards her party.In her last rally, she posed a direct question to the audience: “Do you trust me?” It is the trust factor of being the only force capable of stopping the BJP’s march in Bengal that Banerjee is relying on to seal another five years in power.To ensure this, Banerjee has found the right combo: NRC and CAA. Read the full article

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learningpundits · 7 years ago

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Tips on Direct & Indirect Speech

Grammar Rules with 10 Tips on using Direct & Indirect Speech

What is Direct & Indirect Speech?

Direct Speech: the message of the speaker is conveyed or reported in his own actual words without any change.

Indirect Speech: the message of the speaker is conveyed or reported in our own words.

Example on Process of Conversion from Direct to Indirect Speech

a) Direct: Radha said, “I am very busy now.”

b) Indirect: Radha said that she was very busy then.

1. All inverted commas or quotation marks are omitted and the sentence ends with a full stop.

2. Conjunction ‘that’ is added before the indirect statement.

3. The pronoun ‘I’ is changed to ‘she’. (The Pronoun is changed in Person)

4. The verb ‘am’ is changed to ‘was’. (Present Tense is changed to Past)

5. The adverb ‘now’ is changed to ‘then’.

Tips on Direct and Indirect Speech:

Tip 1: Conversion Rules as per the Reporting Verb When the reporting or principal verb is in the Past Tense, all Present tenses of the direct are changed into the corresponding Past Tenses.

a) Direct: He said, “I am unwell.” b) Indirect: He said (that) he was unwell.

If the reporting verb is in the Present or Future Tense, the tenses of the Direct Speech do not change.

a) Direct: He says/will say, “I am unwell.” b) Indirect: He says/will say he is unwell.

The Tense in Indirect Speech is NOT CHANGED if the words within the quotation marks talk of a universal truth or habitual action.

a) Direct: They said, “We cannot live without water.” b) Indirect: They said that we cannot live without water.

Tip 2: Conversion Rules of Present Tense in Direct Speech Simple Present Changes to Simple Past

a) Direct: "I am happy", she said. b) Indirect: She said that she was happy.

Present Continuous Changes to Past Continuous

a) Direct: "I am reading a book", he explained. b) Indirect: He explained that he was reading a book.

Present Perfect Changes to Past Perfect

a) Direct: She said, "He has finished his food“. b) Indirect: She said that he had finished his food.

Present Perfect Continuous Changes to Past Perfect Continuous

a) Direct: "I have been to Gujarat", he told me. b) Indirect: He told me that he had been to Gujarat.

Tip 3: Conversion Rules of Past & Future Tense Simple Past Changes to Past Perfect

a) Direct: He said, “Ira arrived on Monday." b) Indirect: He said that Ira had arrived on Monday.

Past Continuous Changes to Past Perfect Continuous

a) Direct: "We were living in Goa", they told me. b) Indirect: They told me that they had been living in Goa.

Future Changes to Present Conditional

a) Direct: He said, "I will be in Kolkata tomorrow." b) Indirect: He said that he would be in Kolkata the next day.

Future Continuous Changes to Conditional Continuous

a) Direct: She said, "I'll be using the car next Friday.” b) Indirect: She said that she would be using the car next Friday.

Tip 4: Changes in Modals CAN changes into COULD

a) Direct: He said, "I can swim." b) Indirect: He said that he could swim.

MAY changes into MIGHT

a) Direct: He said, "I may buy a house.” b) Indirect: He said that he might buy a house.

MUST changes into HAD TO/WOULD HAVE TO

a) Direct: He said, "I must work hard.” b) Indirect: He said that he had to work hard.

Modals that DO NOT Change: Would, Could, Might, Should, Ought to.

a) Direct: He said, "I should face the challenge.” b) Indirect: He said that he should face the challenge.

Tip 5: Conversion of Interrogative Reporting Verb like ‘said/ said to’ changes to asked, enquired or demanded

a) Direct: He said to me, “What are you doing?” b) Indirect: He asked me what I was doing.

If sentence begins with auxiliary verb, the joining clause should be if or whether.

a) Direct: He said, “Will you come for the meeting?” b) Indirect: He asked them whether they would come for the meeting.

If sentence begins with ‘wh’ questions then no conjunction is used as the "question-word" itself act as joining clause.

a) Direct: “Where do you live?” asked the girl. b) Indirect: The girl enquired where I lived.

Tip 6: Command, Request, Exclamation, Wish Commands and Requests

Indirect Speech is introduced by some verbs like ordered, requested, advised and suggested. Forbid(s)/ forbade is used for the negative sentences. The imperative mood is changed into the Infinitive.

a) Direct: Rafique said to Ahmed, “Go away.” b) Indirect: Rafique ordered Ahmed to go away. c) Direct: He said to her, “Please wait.” d) Indirect: He requested her to wait.

Exclamations and Wishes

Indirect Speech is introduced by some words like grief, sorrow, happiness, applaud. Exclamatory sentence changes into assertive sentence and Interjections are removed.

a) Direct: He said, “Alas! I am undone.” b) Indirect: He exclaimed sadly that he was broke.

Tip 7: Change of Pronouns The first person of the reported speech changes according to the subject of reporting speech.

a) Direct: She said, “I am in ninth class.” b) Indirect: She says that she was in ninth class.

The second person of reported speech changes according to the object of reporting speech.

a) Direct: He says to them, "You have completed your job.” b) Indirect: He tells them that they have completed their job.

The third person of the reported speech doesn't change.

a) Direct: He says, "She is in tenth class.” b) Indirect: He says that she is in tenth class.

Tip 8: Change of Place and Time Words expressing nearness in time or place in Direct Speech are generally changed into words expressing distance in Indirect Speech.

Now -- then

Here -- there

Ago -- before

Thus -- so

Today -- that day

Tomorrow -- the next day

This -- that

Yesterday -- the day before

These -- those

Hither-- thither

Come -- go

Hence -- thence

Next week/month -- following week/month

a) Direct: She said, “My father came yesterday.” b) Indirect: She said that her father had come the day before. c) Direct: She says/will say, “My father came yesterday.”

Indirect: She says/will say that her father had come yesterday. (Here the reporting verb ‘says’ is in the present tense OR ‘will say’ is in future tense; hence the time expression ‘yesterday’ won’t change.)

Tip 9: Punctuation The words that are actually spoken should be enclosed in quotes and begin with a capital letter

Example: He said, “You are right.”

Comma, full stop, question mark, or exclamation mark must be present at the end of reported sentences and are placed inside the closing inverted comma or commas.

Example: He asked, “Can I come with you?”

If direct speech comes after the information about who is speaking, comma is used to introduce the piece of speech, placed before the first inverted comma.

Example: She shouted, “Stop talking!”

Example: “Thinking back,” she said, “he didn't expect to win.” (Comma is used to separate the two reported speech and no capital letter to begin the second sentence).

Tip 10: Conversion of Indirect to Direct Speech 1. Use the reporting verb, "say" or "said to" in its correct tense. 2. Remove the conjunctions "that, to, if or whether etc" wherever necessary. 3. Insert quotation marks, question mark, exclamation and full stop, as per the mood of the sentence. 4. Put a comma before the statement. 5. Write the first word of the statement with capital letter. 6. Change the past tense into present tense wherever the reporting verb is in the past tense. 7. Convert the past perfect either into past tense or present perfect as found necessary.

Example a) Indirect: He asked whether he is coming. b) Direct: He said to him, “Are you coming?”

Spot the Errors:

Each of the following sentences will contain a mistake in the usage of Direct and Indirect Speech. See if you can spot that mistake.

#1: Direct: The boy said, “I’m happy with my results.” Indirect: The boy said that he is happy with his results. (Incorrect) Indirect: The boy said that he was happy with his results. (Correct)

#2: Direct: She said, “I have baked a cake.” Indirect: She said (that) she baked a cake. (Incorrect) Indirect: She said (that) she had baked a cake. (Correct)

#3: Direct: He said, “All people have equal rights.” Indirect: He said that all people had equal rights. (Incorrect) Indirect: He said that all people have equal rights. (Correct)

#4: Direct: Roshni said, “I may meet him here”. Indirect: Roshni said that she may meet him here. (Incorrect) Indirect: Roshni said that she might meet him there. (Correct)

#5: Direct: She says, “I will go to school tomorrow.” Indirect: She says that she would go to school the day after. (Incorrect) Indirect: She says that she will go to school tomorrow. (Correct)

#6: Direct: He said, “She is coming this week to discuss this.” Indirect: He said that she was coming this week to discuss this. (Incorrect) Indirect: He said that she was coming that week to discuss it. (Correct)

#7: Direct: He said to them, “Will you come for dinner?” Indirect: He said to them will they come for dinner? (Incorrect) Indirect: He asked them whether they would come for dinner.(Correct)

#8: Direct: The teacher said, “Be quiet and listen to my words.” Indirect: The teacher said them to be quiet and listen to my words. (Incorrect) Indirect: The teacher urged /ordered them to be quiet and listen to his words. (Correct)

#9: Direct: The old man said, “Ah! I am ruined.” Indirect: The old man said that Ah he was ruined! (Incorrect) Indirect: The old man exclaimed with sorrow that he was ruined.

#10: Indirect: The policeman enquired where we were going. Direct: The policeman enquired where are you going. (Incorrect) Direct: The policeman said, “Where are you going?” (Correct)

(contd..) Tips on Direct & Indirect Speech - https://learningpundits.com/module-view/27-direct-&-indirect-speech/1-tips-on-direct-&-indirect-speech/

LEARNING PUNDITS (https://learningpundits.com/) Learning Pundits help Job Seekers make great CVs, master English Grammar & Vocabulary, ace Aptitude Tests, speak fluently in a Group Discussion, apply for jobs, participate in online contests.

#interview #interview-tips #interview-questions

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iiam-institute · 2 years ago

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#Professional Acting Institute in Kolkata #As an independent artist IIAM bring together dance #art and digital media through collaborations in personal stories by Acting classes near me. Acting lessons •#Read more: https://iiammodels.org/course/professional-course-in-acting-modeling-and-dance/

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blograzorwit · 7 years ago

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Jest A Minute (4/5/2017) from Subroto Mukherjee

Smash Hit------------------- In Kolkata, film actor's speeding car spins out of control, hits something and rolls completely over! The guy was taken to a hospital. Mistake. When a guy drives like a MAD MAN, he should be rushed straight to a MENTAL hospital! *** I don't know about this actor's films, whether they are hits or flops but, boy, his car sure was a SMASH-HIT! Some people have never heard this long-held wisdom : drive like hell -- and that's exactly where you could end up. HELL! *** No matter how many nuts, screws and bolts go into the making of a car , into making a car a safe ride, all it takes is one nut driving the car to wreck it. *** Missile Trump----------------------- To confront aggressive North Korea, the US has developed a new missile. This missile is called Trump. Too bad this missile is NOT working as expected. Nor can it be fired. *** Trump recently described Kim Jong-un as a 'smart cookie'. He certainly does not look it though. Hitler was a tyrant with a funny mustache, you know. Well, this dictator is like a potato with a funny hair-cut. *** Great! How Ungrateful Can You Get?------------------------------------------------------- Napoleon liked to say that his dictionary did not have the word 'impossible'.So some of his soldiers gifted him a better dictionary -- a dictionary that did have the word 'impossible'. You know what? This joke also applies to Saimaa, sister of Eman Ahmed, who until yesterday was the heaviest person in the world at 500 kilos. But for all the good work done by a medical team in Mumbai (shrinking Eman's original weight to less than half), her sister Saimaa lashed out at the doctors and nurses diligently taking care of Eman. Now that Eman is being shifted to Abu Dhabi, I feel Eman's Mumbai medical team should gift her sister a better dictionary. Because obviously the word 'grateful' is missing from her dictionary. *** Zooming Like Prices Here!-------------------------------------------- A British inventor has successfully designed a flying suit complete with rocket boosters. You put on this suit -- and yahoo, you shoot up into the sky! This suit is working so well, it has been compared to the inflation here. Zoom -- this suit shoots up just like prices in our country! *** Perfect Film For Sonu------------------------------------- No, Aparna Sen's new film Sonata did not put me to sleep. Actually it put me into a deep coma. So much so, all the noise pollution in Mumbai could not wake me for days! Sonu Nigam should watch this film at bed time. And even the blaring loudspeakers in his area won't disturb his beauty sleep one bit. *** Some people say they fell asleep halfway through this film. Hey, I fell asleep halfway through the film's title as I read it out. The 'so' got be drowsy, the 'na' had me dozing and by the time I reached 'ta' -- I was snoring. *** That Thirst Class Feeling------------------------------------------- It's so hot in Mumbai and I have worked up such a thirst, I feel like Isaac Newton sitting in the shade of a tree, hoping -- not for an apple -- but for a big fat juicy watermelon to drop in my lap! *** Eureka Eureka----------------------------- It's so hot in Mumbai, I feel like Archimedes racing through the ancient streets of Athens -- without a stitch on me -- finally finding a cool pool and diving into it, yelling eureka eureka! (Meaning of course I found the pool, I found the pool! What a relief!) *** Happy Happy Happy----------------------------------- It used to be said that Kashmir was a paradise. If you ask me, it still is. A paradise. Where everyone is happy. Happy happy happy! Stone-pelting students are happy when they hit our poor soldiers. And the soldiers are happy when those students miss! *** Eat Roach Poach -- YUMMY!----------------------------------------------- No more flashing and flaunting the VIP status. The red flasher on VIP vehicles taken away from our VIPs. Not enough. More needs to be taken away. Take away their luxury sedans/SUVs. Let them ride cycles, bikes and public transport. Take away their bungalows. What's the matter with living in flats? Take away their Black Cat commando security. Give them actual black cats for protection. No one intending harm will dare step anywhere near a VIP for the surrounding black cats. We Indians are so pathetically, pitiably superstitious. Take away their free flying privileges. Let them travel by train. And eat roach poach instead of the egg poach ordered from the pantry car. Bar them from snazzy restaurants and let our VIPs eat street food. No, don't worry, they won't fall ill. Why -- heck -- they don't even fall sick after swallowing their own filthy lies! No more 5-star hotels for them. Let our VIPs stay in cheap, crummy guesthouses. And tolerate the bedbugs in bed. But hey, it's worse for the poor bedbugs, you know. They have to tolerate our VIP humbugs! *** Prayer Answered------------------------------ Bizarre but true. In Tamil Nadu, an elephant foraging on higher ground slipped over its edge and fell through the roof of a house below! Just imagine! You are sitting at home praying to your beloved elephant-god Ganesha -- and just then, as if in answer to your prayer, an elephant drops right in your lap! Moral of this incident : don't underestimate the power of prayers. They work! *** God Knows!--------------------- The editor of a local paper asked a reporter exactly what had happened. How the heck did an elephant fall through a roof? "God knows!" shrugged the lazy reporter. "Fine," the editor sarcastically told the reporter. "Interview God. Write up the details." *** What's Really Missing------------------------------------------ Turns out our Bollywood celebs make the worst employers -- at least in the way they treat their maids/household helps. Is it any wonder then that we sometimes hear of domestic helps helping themselves to valuables from a celeb's swanky home and doing the disappearing act. Of course, at times, the poor helps are unfairly accused when things go missing. Well, at least some things can never go missing. Like a celeb's heart or conscience. Those are missing already! *** Criminal Waste!---------------------------- What a criminal waste! In the last 5 years, our Maha state has had to throw away well over 2 million units of blood collected from donors! I ask you, how the heck does precious human blood end up the gutters instead of where it matters? Does it go down the drain because our blood banks are managed without brains? *** See, this is why I don't donate blood. I'd rather give my blood to the mosquitoes in the evening. At least they don't waste the blood. Also they give you something in return for it. Something like dengue and malaria! *** Small Fry----------------- In London, Vijay Mallya was arrested, then released on bail. Now that kingfisher might have been reduced to a shrimp fisher, a small fry, but we still have to be patient. It might take a while to fish that shrimp out and fry that small fry. *** How Much More Can Soldiers Combat?------------------------------------------------------------- A BSF jawan was sacked for complaining about the poor quality of food served to our brave-hearts at the front. I ask you, how much more demands are we going to make on our poor combatants? Combat stone-pelting students in Kashmir -- combat terrorists -- combat the enemy across the border -- combat your tummy-ache owing to stale food -- and now also combat your unemployment! *** The Indian Ocean Only For India, OK?----------------------------------------------------------- China has given Chinese names to places in Arunachal Pradesh. Ha! As if giving Chinese names to places in India is all it takes to legitimately claim that this Indian state belongs to China! Tomorrow, in the same way, India can claim that the Indian Ocean belongs only to India because, hey, the very name says it's the Indian Ocean. And India can legitimately demand that China take our permission to use this ocean for shipping or any other purpose. *** Fuel Or Fool?-------------------------- Turns out that many petrol pumps in UP could be rigged to cheat fuel buyers. In other words, you stop at a petrol pump for fuel -- and those cheats will stop at nothing to fuel -- er -- fool you! ***

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