#Acting Right Now!!!!!1ONE

[defeateddetectives]

the worst thing that watching good television[TM] ever did to me is that now even as i passively (borderline hate)watch a generally mediocre show, i cannot turn my brain off and stop wincing at the ON THE NOSENESS OF IT ALL. like how has some of this stuff been nominated for and won multiple awards? (yes we know awards mean nothing and don't speak to any modicum of quality at the end of the day but still) what is wrong with people? i'm going to show up to all their homes in the middle of the night and glare at them with abject disappointment the entire time

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 48 Review

Originally posted June 3rd, 2016

Guys, the climax is supposed to be at the end.

I should probably be in love with “Advanced Geometry.” Semi-Perfect Cell is an absolute delight, Tien gets to swoop in and kick some serious ass, and Goku performs one of his funniest Deus ex Machina in the entire series. And on a purely visceral level, I do love this episode, but that doesn’t mean that “Geometry” is not without a rather glaring flaw: Tien draining himself and being nearly killed by Cell is the climax of the episode, and there is still one third of the episode that follows it.

Now, I’m not one for strict adherence to the “three-act structure,”1 but even within the that broken paradigm, there is an incredible wisdom to only having a relatively small portion of the story to follow the climax. It certainly would’ve been unsatisfying to end this episode with Tien on the ground before Cell with no knowledge of what would happen to him, but ending immediately after Goku rescues him? That would’ve been completely satisfying, as that Is where the story of this episode ends.

Continuing after Tien’s rescue also does a thematic disservice to the sacrifice he made in fighting Cell as effectively as he did. Beyond the Senzu bean recovery removing any narrative consequence to the sacrifice (thanks Toriyama), it’s also very disappointing to see the narrative focus on the return of two Super Saiyans not two minutes after we’ve been shown that true heroism is telling Cell, Super Saiyans, and power levels to fuck themselves and giving everything you have to holding the evil back, even if your efforts are ultimately futile.

Despite Cell’s insults towards humanity, Tien (and Krillin before him) has proven that it doesn’t take fulfilling an ancient alien prophecy to do some modicum of good, and having to listen to Vegeta rant about his power increase after that is incredibly dissonant with the stated themes of the first two thirds of this episode.

Rating: 3.5/5

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Stray Observations

1One of the things I love most about anime as a genre is how it consistently flies against the ideas propagated by Western storytellers about how stories should work, especially in regards to the three-act structure. Now, this isn’t true for all anime, but a lot of shows in the shonen genre actively avoid structuring individual episodes with three separate acts, instead choosing to showcase a fight over multiple episodes with each “act” of the fight given an entire episode, and while that can and does cause pacing issues, it also makes each encounter more dynamic, giving it room to breathe and develop far more naturalistically than it might with a three act structure.

By the way, I define “act” in this context as the section of a story wherein a character makes a specific and irreversible choice, and it is entirely possible for individual fights to have multiple acts inside of it.

Krillin Owned: 32, because he didn’t think to stop flying towards a moving plane.

“Booby-bomb!”

Chiaotzu: “Died? Yes. Jesus, we’ve literally all done it.” Chi Chi: “I haven’t.” Chiaotzu: “Give it some time, you’re hanging with the right crowd.”

“Ki-ko-fuck yourself.”

Does… does Goku see the world like it’s a Wes Anderson film? Because that sounds amazing.

Vegeta: “I am finally stronger than you!” Goku: “Neat!” Vegeta: “Fuck you!”

[purple-possibilities]

so i had a kakasaku flavoured dream last night...

It was a same age au or something similar. Maybe a gen swap, where Sakura is older than the Konoha 12. She’s like 19/20ish here, young enough to be reckless but old enough to be considered and adult. Kakashi was never her sensei. Sakura had never met Kakashi at all in their youth, or at least there was no significant interaction. Maybe he was a couple of years older but not much. She knows of him (because everyone knows about the infamous Hatake Kakashi) but hasn’t ever met him.

Anyways, Kakashi was this mysterious ANBU, and Sakura was still the hokage’s (Tsunade’s) apprentice, and that’s all the background info you need to know.

(More under the cut because this gets kinda long...)

So the dream starts with this visiting dignitary or someone, probably an emperor, but the point is that he had more authority than the Hokage. Somehow, Sakura does something to piss the emperor off (she loses her temper with him? Something like that). The emperor is so offended or whatever it is that emperors feel when the ‘peasants below them have the audacity to think they’re on the same level as the godly emperor’ that her penalty is that she must lose her identity, unless someone vouches for her by sharing their own name. It’s that or be exiled from the land of fire.

Sakura is worried, and somehow there’s nothing Tsunade can do to stop this. Sakura is given some short period of time (let’s say it’s a month) to find someone suitable to share their name. (I say suitable because it has to be someone from an important clan or else the emperor won’t be satisfied; the emperor must approve after all, because he’s a power drunk narcissist so super duper important).

Sometime after the decree is made, Sakura starts having ‘illicit’ meetups with a nameless ANBU (aka she’s hitting it). She doesn’t know who he is, hasn’t even seen his face. She doesn’t ever call him by his name, and he never calls her by her name. They basically just have anonymous, no strings attached sex.

The only people we see around Sakura aside from the mysterious ANBU are Tsunade and Shizune, and neither have volunteered to offer Sakura their names. That or they can’t. Maybe our super awesome emperor wouldn’t approve, idk, it never came up. Naruto isn’t born in Sakura’s generation, neither is Ino or any of the friends Sakura has made in canon. Despite no one coming forward to offer Sakura their name, everyone around Sakura assures her that everything is going to be okay.

In the beginning, Sakura was super worried about not having a name. That’s pretty much what started her hookups with the mysterious ANBU—the need for stress relief. Shizune is seen comforting Sakura a lot, to which Sakura always replies “I have lots of friends, someone will come through for me.” Who is she trying to convince? Shizune... or herself??!?!!?111?!1one!!?? Much deep, such unique.

In the last week before the deadline, and despite no one stepping up, Sakura is not worried. She had been frightened of living without a name at first, but her interactions with this mysterious ANBU show her that being nameless isn’t the worst thing. She come to terms with it, and realizes that living nameless is a lot better than being banished, and that a name is not an identity.

Tsunade and Shizune also seem unfazed, and keep making comments to Sakura about her being fine, that she takes as offhand comforts but seem a little too... blasé. Shouldn’t they be more upset that Sakura is losing her name? They act like it’s not a big deal at all...

It’s the day of the deadline. Sakura is in front of the Hokage tower on a stage or something, the emperor is there, along with Tsunade and Shizune. No one has come forward to offer Sakura their name. Her name is written on her back on like, a white, iron-on piece of fabric. HARUNO SAKURA. It’s placed across her shoulders, like it’s a sports jersey.

As Sakura crosses the stage, Tsunade whispers to her, “You shouldn’t have wasted the sticker.” Sakura doesn’t really understand, but continues to the middle of the stage. At the opposite end is the emperor. She turns so that her back is facing him.

Sakura reaches up with her hand to grab the end of the sticker that says HARUNO and to rip it off her back. She takes a deep breath, and then begins to tear.

Then the battle music from Naruto starts to play (can I just say LOL right here?), and the shot changes from Sakura’s back to like, a first person POV of an arrow as it spins through the air, heading towards Sakura back. It pierces the fabric between her last and first name, so that as Sakura pulls, only her last name gets torn off.

We see a blur pull the arrow from her back, which has only penetrated the fabric of her name label. Then, before anyone can react, HATAKE is taped onto Sakura’s back where HARUNO was. Sakura turns around at the feeling of hands on her back, but only sees the emperor.

“Ohhhh Hatake?” the emperor says, rubbing his chin. “Such a prestigious clan. I wasn’t aware you were seeking a bride, Kakashi-kun.”

Sakura is confused, and goes to reach her hands back up to feel her back, but is stopped when someone grabs them. It is the mysterious Hatake Kakashi, a man she has never met but only heard of. She is confused. In response to the emperor, from his place standing on Sakura’s left (and hiding her body from the small crowd in front of the stage) Kakashi just shrugs. He says something but Sakura cannot hear it; her ears are ringing. She’s married??? What???

The ceremony ends, the emperor is appeased and leaves, and Tsunade and Shizune walk off to continue their work day like nothing lifechanging or shocking just occurred. They are not surprised by this turn of events, and Sakura does not understand. They act like Sakura shouldn’t be surprised either. The small crowd that was watching disperses.

It is just Sakura and this man she has never met before. She turns to face this named stranger, confused, and a little irate, but knows she can’t get angry and blow up—it was her temper that got her in this problem to begin with.

“Who the hell are you?” Sakura hisses quietly, instead of yelling and screaming the way she wants to.

Kakashi shrugs. “No one, really.”

Sakura’s brows furrow. Hasn’t she heard that somewhere before? Kakashi starts to walk off, motioning for Sakura to come with him. Somehow I know his intention is to take her to the Hatake compound, but it’s not explicitly stated and Sakura is still confused. Sakura opens her mouth again to protest.

But before she can say anything else, I wake up.

So to backtrack a little, let me give you some info the dream gave me implicitly that I didn’t include to like, build up the tension lol.

The reason Tsunade and Shizune are not worried and seem so blasé about Sakura losing her name is because Kakashi had come to Tsunade near the beginning of the proclamation to offer Sakura his name. He and Sakura had been sleeping together at that point, so it’s not totally out of the blue for him to have started caring a bit about her.

Tsunade tells Kakashi that he should inform Sakura, and he sort of lies to Tsunade and tells her that Sakura knows about it. And in a way it’s not a lie; this Kakashi is one that’s only ever been in ANBU, he’s sort of damaged, he doesn’t understand normal human interaction fully (not Sai-level bad, but still not properly). Kakashi assumes that by having ‘relations’ with Sakura, she understands his intent. So to him, she knows, even if he’s never told her his name.

I’m not sure why giving someone your name means your married, but I assume it’s because the Hatake Clan only has one member, and that member is Sakura’s age. So by decreeing her a Hatake, and in this backwards misogynistic world, that mean Kakashi ‘owns’ her, and thus she is his wife. There were definitely some dark implications to this, so things going forward aren’t going to be sunshine’s and rainbows.

Sakura is definitely mad about this, and rightfully so—who wants to find out they’re suddenly married to a stranger? Kakashi doesn’t get why she’d be mad since they have been having sex and he thinks he’s been clear with his intentions (the whole, “you’re mine, say it!” “I’m yours!” sort of thing—that’s not how things work Kakashi [facepalm.gif]). It’s also sort of mildly yandere of Kakashi to go about things this way.

If I continued this into a fic, it would probably have yandere undertones but not be dark. So like no kidnapping or rape or anything forced, but Kakashi the Unsocialized is kind of possessive and like, expects them to be really married and is confused when Sakura is upset about it. She’s still sleeping with that mysterious ANBU tho, so Kakashi is like “why is she suddenly mad at me?” and doesn’t catch on that’s she doesn’t realize he’s the ANBU lol. Bad communication abounds.

Not that Sakura would have been chill to marry the nameless ANBU, esp without being told, but like, she sees him as her release from everyday stresses, and so she’s still banging him and expecting there to be no feelings. She def doesn’t have romantic feelings for the ANBU—she knows nothing about him, really. She probably thinks she’s rebelling against Kakashi as well by ‘cheating’ on him.

I do feel that as the fic goes on and Kakashi starts to understand what he did wrong, he’d try to make amends. And then Sakura starts to fall for him and things turn out ok in the end, tho there’s like a rough patch where Sakura learns the ANBU is Kakashi (he doesn’t tell her when he starts to try and like, actually court her as Kakashi, and continues to sleep with her as the ANBU until Sakura catches feelings for Kakashi and ends it). So that caused their second big argument and now Kakashi is like “what did I do wrong now?” because he’s a dumbass.

They eventually make up when Sakura realizes that she loves Kakashi and they have a frank talk about being open and not lying etc. Then maybe they get married for real (aka they have a ceremony and not just whatever that bs on stage was) and they live happily ever after, the end.

[avaantares]

U.K. Travelogue, Continued...

Not many photos today, as we spent much of the day traveling -- we bid farewell to Caernarfon (above: entrance to the walled city; the 500-year-old inn we ate our meals in, though our hotel room was in a building across the street of a later vintage) and drove through north Wales (above: Welsh sheep and Welsh scenery, as seen from our rental hired car) to England.

Specifically, to Birmingham.

Because of this:

...and ZOMG!1one, I can’t even.

I mean, it was a very funny show with an all-star cast, flashy costuming, and truly impressive special effects, including giant animatronic creatures that floated over the audience and an immersive 3D projection sequence that had people screaming and jumping in their seats. The technical production values were far beyond what I had expected from a relatively short-running production, and even though I wasn’t familiar with all of the British celebrities, I quite enjoyed their performances.

But... there was also John freaking Scot freaking Barrowman.

Now, remember, this is panto. Melodrama, audience participation, bawdy humor, low-brow comedy that would make Falstaff proud, and hundreds of young children in the audience whose jaws will collectively drop when they are old enough to understand the flagrant double entendres forming the backbone of much of the script. Now garnish that heady cocktail with a superstar personality who is as well known for being camp and gay (in all senses of the word) as he is for his musical and acting talent, and there are just no words in the English language that can accurately convey what this experience was like.

Well, there was a lot of glitter. Maybe shiny is a good word.

During the performance, lots of memorable things happened, but the unscripted ones were the best: At one point, a perfectly-timed comment from the audience reduced JB to such a state that he crawled to his next mark because he was laughing too hard to walk. During a chaotic scene where they were wearing kilts, JB accidentally tangled with tiny 68-year-old comedienne Janette Krankie; they tumbled backwards, kilts flying, presenting a full view of both their bloomers to the audience of over 1,800. Then, while frantically scrabbling to help shield his costar’s nether regions from the children, he tugged wrong and managed to pull off the ENTIRE garment, leaving her on stage in her skivvies with the cast (and themselves) laughing so hard they were helpless to assist. And in a sequence with water pistols, another cast member aimed beneath JB’s kilt and managed to bulls-eye a particularly sensitive pair of targets -- which led to some interesting noises and more unscripted hilarity. And that’s not even touching the quotable one-liners and brilliant ad libs (skipping those for reasons of brevity -- I’m already staying up way past my bedtime writing this).

Suffice it to say I laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks. The show was two and a half hours, and by the end of it I was exhausted from laughing so hard. I can only imagine the endorphin high the cast gets from running through this delightful chaos eight times a week.

Anyway...

After the panto we returned our car (bye bye, silver Mercedes) and hopped on a train to London. We’d upgraded our tickets to first class because there was a special going, and were able to enjoy tea, holiday snacks and free WiFi on the train into town. Then we took the tube to Charing Cross and lugged our baggage along to our hotel, which is located right at Whitehall and is within a stone’s throw of the London Eye and Big Ben. (Which is better than a billboard saying YOU ARE NOW IN LONDON, though that’s pretty much what it feels like when you step outside.)

Tomorrow, more playing tourist. I’ll have internet access for only two more days, and then I’ll be pretty much incommunicado for the following week and a half, so I’ll post what I can before then!

[bullet-farmer]

So can we all agree, right now, not to talk to neurodivergent people as if they’re little children unless they are actually little children? This includes people with ADHD, BPD, and anyone who you perceive as acting in an age-inappropriate way.

You don’t know if they actually are or if your standard of age-appropriate behavior is the right one. You don’t know why they’re behaving in the “wrong way.” But I can goddamned guarantee you that infantilizing them is not going to get you the behavior you want. And not necessarily because omg those damned, dirty, recalcitrant kidults!!!1one But because if an adult thinks you’re treating them like a baby and they have actual trauma around that, they are going to shy away from you, resent you, and not fucking trust you.

Which, surprise. Won’t get you the behavior you want, either. I am almost forty. Talk to me like I’m almost forty. Not like I’m nearing four or fourteen. I do not understand why this is so goddamned complicated for most people.