#Ace attorney: You have a lot of grief about your father you haven't dealt with and that's okay. You deserve love.

[lyxthen]

The Book of Bill approached me, held a mirror to my face and told me, "Take a look at yourself. You are not an uwu smol bean. You are not a silly little guy. You are no longer 'neurodivergent and a minor.' You are a whole 20 year old ass man, so act like it. You can't keep living life subjected to the whims of own impulses like you did as a child. You have to take responsibility for your actions; your actions have consequences, and you are suffering them. Your desire for endless freedom is a snake eating its own tail: you are a member of society, and being unable to fit in or being abused and victimized because of things you can't control is no justification to be an asshole. You pretend to be small and more helpless than you actually are so people will do your bidding, then laugh about it when they look away, and frankly, that's pathetic. Stop lying to people, stop lying to yourself. Stop justifying your actions or pretending they aren't serious. Some day, you are going to mess up, really mess up, and 'Your honor, I just couldn't help myself, and if you think about it they deserved it because they made me angry, so really it's their fault!' is not an admissible legal defense in criminal court. Are you seriously going to wait until a judge mandates it to go to therapy? Your adamant refusal to seek help out of resentment and arrogance is laughable. Do you want to be dragged into the psych ward kicking and screaming, again? Do you want to go to jail? Because living as you are, that's where you are going to end up. And changing will be hard, and it will be torture, and you will hate it, but you have to do it anyway. You have to be willing to try.

So, Lyxthen, are you an immortal dorito-shaped, banana-colored cartoon, with a bowtie and a tophat, incapable of learning and growing, or are you a human being?"

Then it hit me in the head with a metal pole and left me bleeding and crying on the floor. I stayed there, unable or unwilling to get up, I do not know, until a friend held my hand, helped me to get back on my feet, and said to me, "hey, that wound seems pretty severe, do you think you should get a doctor to get a look at it?" to which I replied "Yes. Yes I do." And I made an appointment with a therapist.