#AaaaAAAAAA it gives me the brain scramblies

[corvidaenightcrawler]

Idk how long ago it was but a little while ago you sent me an ask asking if you could yell at me about a song AND I'M DYING TO KNOW WHAT SONG AND WHY YOU LOVE IT PLEASE CORVUS MUSIC FUELS MY SOUL AJAHBSNSJSJ

SHIT. FUCK. Sorry. I got highly distracted by so many things but I AM HERE NOW AND READY TO TO S C R E A M.

Alright. The Hush Sound. That's who made this song and they have many other absolute bangers up their sleeve but this one is particularly special to me for s number of reasons.

IT'S CALLED, DRUMROLL PLEASE: 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 Sweet Tangerine!

This. Song. Omfg.

It starts with no leadup, kinda jarring, but SO fun, like it comes on in a playlist and I go N U T S. It PAINTS SUCH A VIVID PICTURE LIKE THERE'S THIS GUY OUT IN THE RAIN AND OH?? There's a girl he's after but she's not interested?? It's so mysterious and has such a good swing and THE INSTRUMENTALS aaagHHGHhGHHG they hit just right!!!!! AAAAAA

It makes me feel EVIL AS HELL. It's sooooo devilish, like, there's this constant feeling of dread and malice but it's like the ultimate enemies to lovers to enemies again and I just. Agk. Augh. Oogh. Ack. I feel like a supervillain in a noir movie when I listen to it, LIKE I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON BUT I WANT THE GIRL AND I'LL DO ANYTHING TO HAVE HER.

It has SUPER stalker vibes. Like, the BEST part of the song is when the instrumentals get all quiet and give way to some gentle sleigh bells, and THE LYRICS AAAAAAA

"Crept through the curtains, as quick as the cold wind, slowly exploring the room where you sleep. The stare of your portrait, the passing of your scent, left me no choice but to STAY"

AND THEN IT GETS ALL LOUD AND INTENSE AND THE VOCALS ARE SO PASSIONATE AND IT JUST SOUNDS SO CREEPY AND THE INSTRUMENTALS GO SO HARD LIKE OMFG you just have to hear it, the lyrics are so creepy and have big love-absorbed vampire vibes like damn I picture myself as a monster looking over the bed of a poor dame and wanting to eat her, that's the vibe.

This. Guy's. Voice. It feels so perfect and I love the pitch and the way it melds with the backtrack feels just right, that's something that The Hush Sound has always been good at, is making the pace and intensity and everything feel just right, like it hits at the perfect time and I just want to marinate it forever

What gauges a good song for me is if it invokes a physical feeling AND THIS ONE SURE DOES AAAAAA

Like, I can feel this song in my ribcage, and I can picture it in my head, there's parts that make my breathing feel light and so many emotions are just going nuts at the same time, and it's all because of how his voice sounds.

I wanna HEAR THIS SONG FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN SO BADDDDD

Let's not even COVER the fact that it's PERFECT FOR ANIMATICS. Like, I can imagine the blorbos from my shows to this perfectlyYYYY

[gobcore]

i was too much of a pussy to just do it on my own so thank u @nadja-dyke and @bastardbeewoman for tagging me!

wwdits this or that tag

1. favourite character? i love them all but laszlo. laszlo cravensworth tho

2. favourite season? two or three, but season three tho

3. favourite episode? i'm gonna go by season bc this is unfair - s1 baron's night out, s2 colin's promotion, s3 the casino

4. least favourite episode? i didn't really like the chamber of judgment, but lawyer laszlo was iconic

5. vampire or vampire slayer? vampire (sorry guillermo)

6. familiar or master? familiar (ur welcome guillermo)

7. favourite flavour of yogurt? vanilla greek yogurt

8. manhattan or staten island? i'm from the west coast i have no idea

9. cursed witch hat or cloak of duplication? cloak of duplication, bc then i could be hot

10. join a witch coven or a werewolf pack? I don't think the witches would allow me in, so werewolf pack

11. get drained by colin robinson or have your semen stolen by witches? witches can have my semen any day <3

12. big bang theory or a turtle? tur-tell <3

13. super slumber or wellness centre? super slumber, i can't do people singing.

14. doze apples or memo's man milk? memo's man milk any day

15. gregor or gail? horse gregor or neither at all

16. regular human bartender or regular human bnb owners? regular human bnb owners by a tiny bit

17. nouveau theatre or vampiric council ritual dancing? vampiric council ritual dancing <3

18. benji or june? easily benji

19. sam the familiar or black peter? SAM SAM SAM!!!!!

20. evie russel or dave lewis? WHO THE FUCK IS DAVE LEWIS??? anyways evie russel

21. derek or jenna? i don't really love either of them...but derek gave us aspen so I guess derek

22. brain scramblies or vampire depression? I already have severe depression, so brain scramblies pls

23. twilight or interview with the vampire? AAAAAAAAAA BOTH but if i have to choose, twilight bc it got me into vampires

24. mosquito club or panera bread (possible vampire meeting included)? easily panera bread

25. kill the sire or eat jahan? i can't hurt that sweet little creature or devastate his husband and hellhound, sorry jahan

26. accompany your eternal wife to wretched england or trap lovesick bodyguard in coffin? trap lovesick bodyguard in coffin, it's more dramatic and i don't have to encounter terfs

27. find out about nandor's turning or colin robinson's origins? WHO TURNED NANDOR AND HOW????

28. choice of weapon: holy water or garlic powder? garlic powder bc it's funnier

29. possess a doll or give your ghost self a handjob? as much as the latter sounds dysphoria-inducing fun, I'd rather possess a doll.

30. contact through the ether or send 500 ravens? i don't have the executive function to remember to send 500 ravens, message thru the ether

uhhh anyways time to tag people, i'll tag @beenando, @gizmoz, and @laszlogirl idk if any of you have been tagged but i'll tag u, and idk who else would let me bother them with this but if you want to do it go ahead!

[renlimotroll]

And let me crawl inside your veins

Warnings: BL/ Personification/ Out of Character/ Mature Content/ Imagination

Tags: LimoSiru 🍋🐶 Halloween fic, supernatural elements

Summary: Siruko is going to kill Jiraichan for taking him to the stupid haunted house. But before that, he must escape it first.

A/N: Actually, the Mature Content warning is just me being paranoid. They don’t even kiss here, sadly. But there might be sexc (?) 👀 undertones. If you don’t care about that, go ahead and enjoy. [Title taken from a Billie Eilish song]

“iT wiLL bE fUn, siRukO-sAn! i’LL prOtEcT you sirUkO-sAn dOn’t woRRy!” Siruko seethes in anger, because if he doesn’t focus on that, he’s gonna piss his pants for real. He’s going to kill Jiraichan, he swears. There’s a moment of creepy silence, and he’s really scared to his bones. He doesn’t even want to take another step. Either someone’s gonna die because he kills them accidentally in his fearful state, or Siruko-san will of a heart attack.

He takes another peek from behind his hands covering his face. It was pitch dark, and Jiraichan and Quartetchi were long gone, leaving him behind in this maze of nightmares. Siruko hears the sounds of chains being dragged across the floor, metal against concrete making him grit his teeth. Nope nope nope, Siruko had to gather his courage. Whatever that was, he’s not gonna stay here to find out what it is.

One shaky step after another, he walks carefully ahead. So far, no one’s jump-scaring him anymore, after the zombie, the werewolf, and the man laughing maniacally, chasing him with a chainsaw and suspiciously looks like Hana-chan. His heart beats loudly in the chest, and he eyes with suspicion every corner and nook in case something jumps out again, not that he can see within this dark room. The light bulb keeps blinking erratically, its buzzing loud to Siruko-san’s strained hearing. All his senses are alert, wary of everything. Suddenly–

“EEEP!” Something touched him. Something definitely touched his butt. Siruko’s head whips around but he sees no one. He was so sure, he can’t be mistaken. Please please please kamisama get me out of here–

A soft chuckle behind his ear. Siruko turns around quickly, but no one is there. That— that can’t be his imagination.

“O-o-o-okay…” Siruko’s jaws tremble; he can barely get the words out. “Wh-who-whoever you arrrre– i-it’s s-scary I-I admit… yay-you-got me-scared-you’ve-done-your-job nowpleasetellmewheretheEXITis!!”

Something breathed on his neck; he can feel the coldness travelling down to his spine. Something snaps on Siruko’s mind.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

The purple head ran for his life, almost tripping several times. Another masked guy who was gonna scare him got startled instead as Siruko zoomed past him.

When his lungs were about to give away, Siruko stopped to inhale life back to his body. He breathes heavily, catching his breath. He was doubled over, clutching his chest, so he didn’t see the pair of red eyes staring at him.

“I–haaaah–I ssssswear *breathe in* —-i hate *breath out* haunted houses—”

“Then why are you here?”

“AAAAAAAAAA—-” A hand covered his mouth, cutting off his shriek. Siruko scrambles to get it off of him, his flight-or-flight instincts kicking in telling him to get away. “Sshh sshh shhh, it’s okay it’s okay, it’s me babe, it’s me, daijoubu…” A deep, sexy voice comforts, making soothing noises as Siruko struggles against a hard body.

When the words finally register in his terrified brain, Siruko calms down, shoulders slumping down in relief. Siruko recognizes his boyfriend, and the dark room just makes the red eyes glow dangerously but beautifully. He is momentarily mesmerized by Limone-sensei’s eyes and he forgets he was about to pass out.

“Smphnssiiii wrrrmmf,” Siruko whines, muffled by the hand covering his mouth. Sensei lets the purple head go once he was sure Siruko won’t scream. “Senseiii waaah!!!” Siruko clutches onto Sensei as if his life would be saved by this hug, afraid to let go. Limone-sensei rubs his boyfriend’s back soothingly, finding his almost-sobbing boyfriend cute. With his other hand, he pats his boyfriend’s purple hair reassuringly. Okay, so maybe Sensei is enjoying scared-out-of-his-wits Siruko, but of course he wouldn’t say that out loud. Siruko knows how to kill him.

“Yosh yosh, kowakunai kowakunai… Don’t be scared, I’m here.”

When Siruko finally recovers, Sensei lets him go reluctantly. He wipes Siruko’s cheeks with his beautiful fingers and playfully drops a kiss to his upset boyfriend’s nose. “Why are you even here? Can you walk? Let’s go somewhere private.” Suddenly they hear someone’s high-pitched scream in the distance and Siruko jumps out of his skin, holding onto Sensei’s uniqlo shirt tighter. Sensei would have blushed if he could. I should have brought him to haunted houses before. He hushes the alarmed whimpers Siruko made.

“Chencheeee… Mu-mu-muriiii…. I cccan’t—” 

Sensei laughs lowly. “Hang on then, I’ll get us out of here.” Siruko wraps his arm around the teacher’s neck; a normal human would have choked with how tight his grip was, but Sensei wasn’t exactly normal. Sensei scoops him into a threshold carry easily, and Siruko has done this so many times before that he knows he has to close his eyes as a precaution.

After literally five seconds, they were outside, the crescent moon providing little illumination to the otherwise empty location. Sensei tries to let him down gently, but Siruko shakes his head vehemently. He’s not sure if he was gonna throw up because he was so scared or if it was because of Sensei's insane speed. Eyes scanning the area, the blue head finds a bench and strides towards it. He then pries Siruko’s death grip on his neck and sits him down carefully. Siruko knows he doesn’t have the strength to stand up; the adrenaline that made him run like crazy before was now replaced by weariness from all the shouting he did. He’s grateful to be sitting down; being scared is tiring.

“You okay now?” Sensei asks, massaging Siruko’s hand as Siruko tries to gather himself together and breathe. His heartbeat is still loud in his ears, but at least his knees weren’t shaking so hard anymore.

“Un.”

“I know you hate haunted houses, so what are you doing in the scariest horror house in all of Japan?”

Siruko’s eyes narrow threateningly. “Jiraichan.”

“Ah.” Sensei nods, needing no more explanation.

They sit there in silence for a while. The chilly air bites Siruko’s flushed cheeks, but it helps him regain his sanity. Siruko breathes in and out again to get the jitters out of his system. He finally gets his mind functioning enough to ask, “And what’s a real vampire doing in a haunted house?” He stares pointedly at the teacher, who smirks arrogantly.

“Part-time.”

“This? This was the part-time you were talking about?”

“Hana-chan.”

“Ah.” Siruko rolls his eyes, needing no more explanation. “Aren’t they gonna look for you?”

“I can make it back in no time. I needed to make sure you were okay first.”

Siruko fights the smile forming on his lips. Sensei was the most caring person in the world, and he’s touched. “If I ask you to kill Jiraichan and Quartetchi for me, would you? Please???” He turns on his pien eyes, but it’s never been effective against the vampire who has actual hypnotic powers.

“Omae bakagayo?”

“Tch.” Siruko mock-frowns. “Then at least kill that guy who felt me up. I’m not kidding, I swear someone touched my butt! It wasn’t my imagination, I’m sure of it.”

“Actually,” Sensei rubs his neck nervously, “That was me.”

“WHAT?!”

“Don’t be mad!” Sensei raises his hands in defense, as if Siruko can actually hurt him. Siruko glares, unimpressed. “You can’t blame me for not being able to keep my hands off of you.” Sensei tries to charm him with his smile. It didn’t work.

“SENSEI!!” Siruko crosses his arms angrily, feeling betrayed. “I WAS SCARED SHIT OUT OF MY MIND! How could you do that to me?!”

“Aww c'mon,” Sensei snakes his hand around the purple head’s waist, tugging him closer. Siruko stubbornly looks the other way. “It’s your fault. I was just doing my job scaring people, then you walk into my room looking so adorably frightened, the temptation was hard to resist.” Sensei noses the point where Siruko’s neck and shoulder meet, inhaling that sweet, delicious scent that always makes his mouth water. He nibbles the skin playfully, opening up the bite mark that has been permanently there since they started going out as a couple.

Siruko sighs in defeat, tilting his head as a silent permission. Sensei bites down a little hard and sucks. Siruko gasps, closing his eyes in ecstasy. The sensation of his blood being sucked was always so… intense and painful and pleasurable and scary. He becomes light-headed and weaker by each second. Yet, kaleidoscopic colors were bursting behind his eyelids. His lower region starts to take interest in what’s happening and warmth pools under his belly. There’s a reason why victims are always helpless against a vampire feeding on them, it’s like they’re injected with horny hormones and serotonin.

It only takes a few seconds, and Sensei laps the bite wound close. He licks his lips and savors the taste of his beloved’s blood on his tongue. With his heightened hearing, he can still hear the blood throbbing violently in his lover’s veins, and he waits patiently for Siruko-san to recover again.

“You’re so unfair.” Siruko murmurs breathlessly.

“Iyayaya, you’re the unfair one. You’re like a walking temptation to me.”

“OI! SENSEI!” Someone shouted and Siruko’s eyes flew open, jumping on his seat. The thought that their secret is revealed scares him a hundred times more than any haunted houses. However, it was just Hana-chan calling their attention from what looks like the employees’ back door. “STOP HAVING SEX AND GET BACK TO WORK!”

Siruko sighs in relief while Sensei responds to Hanachan. He looks in the other direction and sees Jiraichan and Quartetchi exiting the damned place, the pink head clutching Quartetchi’s arm so tightly it looks like he was gonna rip it off, and he looks so traumatized and pale. Siruko forgives the pink fairy in his mind; he can never get angry with him. It was probably for the best they left Ichihachi waiting in the car at the parking lot. Two steps in and the cat guy will faint.

“Go back to your friends,” Sensei chuckled. “I’ll see you later?”

Siruko pouts, hating that he has to leave his boyfriend’s side. “I don’t know, I’m still angry at you.”

“Then… what if I finally let you record my voice for your morning alarm?”

“Really?” Siruko’s purple eyes widen in delight. “REALLY REALLY REALLY???”

Sensei shakes his head in exasperation. Sometimes his boyfriend looks like an overexcited dog. “Just one phrase.”

“YATTAAAAAAA!”

Sensei face-palms and sighs. He doesn’t know if torturing Siruko-san a while ago is worth it in exchange for a stupid recording, but whatever makes Siruko happy, he guesses. He should have upped the ante and scared his dumdum boyfriend even more a while ago. Siruko was grinning from ear-to-ear now, and Sensei kinda misses the terrified, shaking uncontrollably Siruko who latched onto him tightly earlier. Ironic how Siruko-san is frightened of horror houses but not scared to date an actual monster. 

“Happy Halloween,” Sensei mutters to himself sarcastically as Siruko kisses his cheek.

OWARI!!

🍋🐶

A/N: I finally finished it!! This has been sitting on the laptop since last Friday. I found out that I became too dependent on stress to be able to write, and I’ve been staring at this document for three days because I couldn’t write it because I wasn’t stressed. So, I got stressed over not being able to be stressed, and the fic has been written.

Vampire Sensei is too hot, help.

Thank you for reading it! Lovelots, Ren~🌻