#AV Blake is Not a Pokemon Person

[postgradmon-go]

Conversations from the Lab

AV Blake, law student but otherwise normal person: I can't believe Professor Willow spent three hours yesterday explaining his theories about the big surge of water pokemon and somehow forgot to add 'so I flooded the basement to make a temporary holding pond for all the magikarp'.

Vera J, kind human and decent colleague but deranged in that special pokemon researcher way: Oh, I didn't think it needed saying. Didn't you sort of assume he would?

AVB, despite having worked with this man for nearly a year now: No. Despite having worked with that man for nearly a year, I somehow didn't see this coming.

VJ, a competent but worrying person: It was the reasonable thing to do. Any pokemon researcher would have done it.

AVB, unsurprised but still sort of horrified: Would they now.

VJ, who is saying this all completely conversationally: Sure, a friend of my mother's works with Professor Juniper. When I was an undergrad she told me all about the kind of things that can happen in a pokemon lab.

AVB, edging away slowly: Oh, really. Sounds fascinating.

VJ: Sure! One time Professor Juniper's lab turned into a prehistoric jungle while they were cloning a fossil specimen.

AVB: Uh.

VJ: Unfortunately, then it burned down. But what they learned about prehistoric pokemon behavior was amazing!

AVB, whose parents still haven't forgiven her for not going into pokemon research because apparently this is the kind of life they want her to lead, which is a major reason she doesn't come home for holidays: That's. Amazing all right.

VJ: Isn't this field the best?

[postgradmon-go]

All right, everyone, I know we've been quiet but the lab's still standing and I haven't been replaced by a Zoroark. (And I can prove it, because Professor W asked me for a blood draw. That'll teach me to try kindness. Next time I'm just sleep-powdering everyone.) It's been busy here. And I know you think it's always busy, because it is, but this is busy plus exam season, and Professor Willow has two bio classes on top of the GO study. 'But AV, you're not a pokemon researcher, you can't TA for Professor Willow, why would that affect you?' You're right, I'm not his TA, and neither is Dave. So during exam season the coursework all falls to the Professor, Vera, and the team captains-- and really only Candela has the right temperament to grade papers. (Spark can't grade papers because students don't take it seriously when you dot your i's with a lightning bolt. Blanche can’t grade papers because students take it way too seriously you write them a personalized three-page essay about their fundamental misunderstandings of the subject) So Dave and I and the medical staff-- and the undergrads who haven't quit and aren't taking their own exams-- are holding things down. It's busy, is what I'm saying. Right now Professor Willow is so tired that he gave an exam to a room full of rock types and asked Vera to ID chip a hundred and sixty undergrads. Vera's so tired that she actually graded the papers and managed to ID half the marching band before somebody stopped her. ...in related news a Kabuto aced Professor Willow's pokemon bio 201 final. Blew the curve for everyone. We're trying to get the paperwork through to hire it. Yours in Academia -AV Blake

[postgradmon-go]

Hats? 

That can’t be it. That can’t be all he has up his constantly rolled up white sleeves. 

We all like the Professor, but when he gets a ‘great idea’ to boost study performance we wind up with black lung from loading up double stardust or something. 

The hats are annoying, they’re dumb, I’m going to scream if I see one more person wearing them, but they’re not bad. 

He’s lulling us into a false sense of security before he runs a ‘double stardust for your most-intern-traumatizing-pokemon’ event. 

-AV Blake