#AU perspective of padme waking up in carbonite

[fatewills]

𝐈𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐒 . . of sulfur and brimstone .

𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒  . .  bares through skin as the flames of her sins engulf her . smother her .

why can't i -

wake up .

why can't i -

it's time to wake , now .

why can't i breathe ?

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 , came the ringing . pitched like shattered bells piercing throughout her lobe . she can feel it , reverberating along her throat as it contracts . a grip bound along thin and slender neck , she finds herself gasping ;  her lungs begin to expand , they shutter . foreign air so forbidden , filling within the once collapsed organ . new life soon lifts barriers , and life flows through her blood as ravaging as the river . plush , parched lips divide to inhale , violent and desperate as it takes it in , in , in . lapping away as the taste of iron and metallic settles on the back of her tongue . nauseating . repulsive . she can't , the muscles within her convulsing , pressing her down within the make - shift coffin crafted for her corpse . voices find their way within the ringing , cutting through the fog that harbors in her mind and festers . the fluids from within the carbonite dislodges , forming waves that exhume from the corner of her mouth - foaming . up her airwaves and down her chin and cheeks . her head is lifted to allow it to pearl down her bare chest .

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 , came the screaming . as soul - curdling as despair personified into a human form . it is mixed with the sputtering of fluids , gagging and writhing . she is a babe , borne again from the womb of an unknown mother . hands with permanently curled digits extend out to find the mother for which birthed her , limbs soon curling into a fetal position . the air is frozen against exposed skin , twitching and shivering to protect herself from the world around her . was this how infants felt , desperately snatching for  the voice that once guided them ? she finds no voice to guide her , only the deafening silence she has been subdued to . the silence she believed the heavens to be . her screams broke dry , cracking against newly - filled lungs as she found herself suffocating once again , head tossed back to swallow air .

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 , came the feeling . darkness engulfing , no shred of light seemingly making its way through the cracks . it faded out like the dispersing of fog . hands reach for her , a gentle brush , and she feels her body snatching from it . kicking , clawing - muscles weak and soon collapsing back down onto the carbonite . it feels violating , exposure revealing vulgarity , revealing weakness . more reach to lift her , yet she strikes . was this truly her life after death ? now shadows lingering over blurred vision . she wanted to go back - go back into the darkness , into the fate she had been dealt . had she not been kind ? had she not been merciful ? the actions of her deeds awakening her within hell . within nothing . within everything . within shame .

shivering palms reach , crawling up the familiarity of her body , to her stomach . she remembers now , yes . the twins , her children . always so playful within the shelter of her womb . she needed to feel them , she needed to -

there was nothing , hand running over flattened surface .

again , she tried . over and over she tried as though she could not believe herself .

do you remember . . do you remember the feeling . . of him . . choking you ?

" where are they ? " she squeaked , voice shattered and weakened in soft yet dry whispers . " where are they ? " her life , her blood . everything she had wanted . to give them the peace she hoped to find , the life she hoped to give them .

" my babies - b-babies . . where . . ? " nails begin to claw , savagely , as though she could peel back the layers of flesh and feel them nestled together deep within . those same hands rush to pin her arms back , the warmth of blood pearling down her stomach . marks in clusters along her abdomen .

did . . they . .

" please - pl-please tell me . . where . . " the tears fell thick down her cheeks , clouding already obstructed vision . " my babies ! where are my babies ? ! "

padme wept in death harder than she had in life .

please , send me back to the darkness . please , let me die .