#AS IT SHOULD AAAAAHHHHHHHHH

[singull]

I would very much like to chuck my work laptop across the fucking parking lot.

[princessclefairyberry]

More modding shenanigans vagueblogging

LITERALLY just saw a comment on a mod like, "Hey! Love this mod, but it's confusing that using this mod together with [totally unrelated current popular mod] and [literal predecessor of current popular mod, which hasn't been updated in three years and was supposed to be replaced by current popular mod] at the same time makes this one weird thing happen. It's really a problem :/ Loving the mod though!!"

[itaots]

ok. so. while ago the longlegs director was asked by some guy “why didnt the fbi director haul ass when he realized he had a little girl who’s birthday is on the 14th?” and the director was like “bc its a movie” and Omg i hate how i understand that answer but it still annoys me

[fullofvexation]

I think I would give almost anything to end a social interaction and not be immediately plunged into despair and anxiety about how annoying I am and how certainly these people will never want to see me again

[everybodyshusband]

i love this so much that i cannot think of any way to express my adoration for it into words.

thank you for letting me drag sathyr into your world of apocalypse ghouls, my love <3 i adore the way you write him and maggie together more than i can say.

— you shine like the sun and the moon (and the stars in the sky).

✿ ghost (band) // maggot+sathyr.

✿ cw ; sfw // oc+oc relationship, wholesome, early mornings. + 3.3k words.

Maggot is… a character. That much is for certain. But, despite it all… there’s still one particular ‘bad’ habit that Sathyr does so adore. Maggot almost never fucking knocks.Now, this might sound like an issue – sometimes it is, don’t get him wrong – but there’s one particular instance where Maggot will simply barge into Sathyr’s dormitory with nothing but a lopsided grin and obvious bad intentions.

✿ [ ao3 link >>here. ]

— this fic was a birthday gift for the charming @everybodyshusband!! who was so kind enough to do a little gift exchange for our birthdays ♡ he's been kind enough to listen to my rants about overcomplicated lore and oc possibilities, and even let me drag him into the world of character designing, haha! so, naturally i decided to type up something silly featuring our own characters. happy birthday (again ùwú), felix!!! ♡

[imaginarycyberpunk2023]

OC: Vinnie Gallo

I'm handing him around in private Chats on Discord like contraband but really, I should just put these here bc aaaaahhhhhhhhh he gorgeous.

It needs to be said that clearly I am super-influenced in these by @drunkchasind and her amazing VP and how she photographed Vinnie.

Vinnie wears a Jacket from this wonderful mod that is easy enough for me to use.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hello I’m back!! I have puffins for Sky and hairy cows for Twilight (and you obviously though that should go w/o saying)!! 🤍

*SCREAMING*

PUFFINS!!!!!!!

CODHAKQOWHWBRFOFUSHW AAAAAHHHHHHHHH LOOK AT THEM

HAIRY COWS EEEE SO CUTE!!!!

Twi, Sky, and I are just gonna squeal and bounce in circles now, thank you 😂❤️❤️❤️

[floralpotions]

😳 + ✏️ for the ask game <3 (@spillurhearts)

😳 Post a screenshot of your f/o that flusters you.

(technically a gif) (ignore the heavily injured boy on the ground he's fine)

PLEASE...... YOU GUYS.......... IM SICK I SHOULD BE RESTING IN BED........ NOT KICKING MY LEGS CRAWLING AROUND SPRINTING RUNNING GROWLING SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS FROTHING AT THE MOUTH.................. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

✏️ Post a screenshot of your f/o doing their job.

this one's really cute...... ok he's a teacher right so he's overseeing study hall and the students are gossiping and he's pretending So Hard he's not overhearing their dumb teenage drama...

but he is. he Is overhearing it.

he's so cute alskjdfasldfkjhasdofhasdlfkasjodlf

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

UAGHH TEN YEARS LATER!!!

I was hoping for one of those

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDD

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH CHIEF OF SURGERY :'DDD WHOOO AS HE SHOULD :')))

UAAHHHHHH IS THIS LIKE A DEDICATION TO GLASSMAN OR SOMETHING 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺❤️

AWWWWW them riding the carousel together :'DDD

AUAAGHHHH YEAHH ONE LAST (FOR THE SERIES) I LOVE YOU FOR THEM :'DDD

UAAGAHHHHHHHHH NOOO THAT WAS ILLEGALLLL 😭😭😭😭💔💔❤️

Yeahh I bet this is for a dedication like a wing or something :'))

Wait is this in the future or now Lim xdd

Either way that's amazing :'DD

I'm so happy for you honey 😭😭😭

AAHHHH MY GIRLL :'))

AUWWWWWW AAAHHHHHHH GROWN UP A BIT STEVE, AND THEY'RE ON THE CAROUSEL TOGETHER 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰

AND LEA'S PREGNANT!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH YAYY :'DD

AYYYY JORDAN AND DANNY :'DDDD

I'm glad he's okay, and I'm so happy for them :'))

AYYY MORGAN AND PARK :'DDDDD

Is this slightly in the future or way in the future and this is another kid xdd

AYYYYY THE ADOPTION CERTIFICATE :'DDDD

Okay so that's probably Eden lol

Congrats my lovelies 😭😭😭🥺❤️❤️🥰 love you honeys ::))

Now where's Jerome y'all

Where's Jerome

xD

AYYY aww that's amazing I'm so happy for you Dom :'DDD

WHOOO GO OFF CHARLIE :'DDD

She's so pretty 🥰🥰

Aww look at her leading :')) I bet she is a great surgeon <33 like she knew she could be :'D

UAAAGHHHHHHHH THEY HAVE ANOTHER KIDDDDD :'DDDD!!! A DAUGHTERRRRR 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰 Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTANDDD I'M NOT OKAY :')))

Oop? Going to that talk thing I bet?

Yeah I think so :'D

AWWW

Oop stoping in Claire :'o :'DD

I was like we better see her x'D

Yeah, him and Dr. Glassman <33

AAAHHHHHHHH CLAIREE :DDD!!

STOPPPP HER AND JARED HAVE A KID TOGETHER :'OOOO :'DDD 😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEMMM :')))

My babies :')))

Aww y'all :')

Yeah, all your saves count as his as well <33

And that's a lot of saves 😭 :') xdd

Where's Jerome guys xdd. . .

Or Andrews too xd 😭

Aww yeah those are all good things :'))

AUAGH a quote book 😭😭🥺❤️

Y'ALLLL I'M NOT OKAYY 😭😭😭🥺❤️

He really was so wise :'DD

AAHHHH that's a bit of Jerome I see :'DD

Hi Jerome 🥰🥰!!

To late into the episode for that 😭 like rude xdd

AWWW back to the beginning again 😭🥺 :'))

Lol yeah hit the table x'D

That is how you show it :')) of course x'D :'D

Is he gonna hit the desk xD :'D

Who's that man sitting next to you Jerome

. . . better just be some random guy

XD I'm fiiiine guys (I am not at all fine in any way shape or form about anything)

AUGHHHH y'all I'm gonna lose it 😭😭😭❤️❤️

This talk is so good y'all :')))

ARE THEY HOLDING HANDS

Idek what you're talking about that's just some guy 😤😤😤

Okay without me being bitter for a second xdd: Jeromeee I'm so happy he's happy :'DD I'm just so glad he's doing okay 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 <333

Anyway back to my life pretending Asher's fine and just out of frame 😌😌😌🥰

Ayy Dalisay and Hawke :'DD!!! Or is it Fawkes. . I don't remember sorry girl xdd anyway Nice to see them :')) 🥰🥰🥰

I LOVE YOUUU GUYSS

:'D I'm glad they're doing okay <333

LOL the don't be an a xD

SLFKGHKDS AND HITS THE TABLE ON THAT XDD ICON :'DDD

Lol love that xDD

Awww :'))

:'OO WAITT STOPPPP

STOPPPP THAT'S SO AMAZING 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺🥰 THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DEDICATING :')))

AND THE FACT THAT IT WAS HIM AND CLAIRE 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥺🥰

Y'ALLLLL STOPP I'M NOT OKAY :'))) :'DD

YEEEEAHHHHH WHOOOOO :'DDD 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎉🎉🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️

I genuinely clapped in real life :'D

Awww y'all I'm so happy for you <3

And that's an amazing program 😭😭❤️, in a bunch of places :'))) ❤️🥰

AWWWWWWW STOPPPP ALL THEM COMING DOWN THE STAIRSSS :'DDD 😭😭😭

AUAAAWGHHHHHHHH AND THE CALLBACK VOICEOVER OF WHAT SHAUN WANTED TO DO 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺❤️🥰

STOPPP I'M NOT OKAY :'DDD

AAAHHHH AWWWWW ALL THEM HUGGINGGGG 🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Y'ALLLLL I'M SO NOT OKAY 😭😭😭🥰❤️❤️❤️🥺❤️

That beard on Kalu is wild xD looks good though eat it up sir slfkfjsdk

I know I usually call him Jared just had to call him Kalu one last time xD

But yeah Jared is slaying :'))

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH YOU D O O O HAVE A FAMILYYYYY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

AAAAHHHHHHHH THEIR LITTLE FAMILY (THOUGH A MOMENT AGO I WAS INCLUDING EVERYONE ELSE TOO) :'DDDDD 🥰🥺😭😭❤️❤️❤️

Y'ALLLL I'M SO NOT OKAY

SDLFKFJSKHGS "And now I have two TVs." STOPPPPP THAT'S AMAZING :'DDD 😭😭😭😭🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥰

Look at them :')))

I'm so proud of them, and of all of them <333

They're happy :'))

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And that's it 😭🥺❤️💔🥰 :'))

Also WAIT SLFKFHKDS THAT WAS HIS LAST LINE XDDD??

I hadn't really processed that it was and then my dad walked in from the next room and was like "That was his last line of the show?" and I was like "YUP SLFJHDKS" LOL stop that's hilarious xD amazing, iconic <333

I love him so much :')))

Also go off on having two TVs Shaun 😌😌

I love them all so much <3333

Well, that's it

This is the last episode

That was. . .

The end of The Good Doctor

. . . wow

It was absolutely amazing <333

I loved it :')

I love you all so much <333 ❤️

[umemiyan]

*head in hands.* AAAAAHHHHHHHHH 😫😫😫😫😫😫 this is so bad I need him. After that ping-pong episode everything hit me all at once

gurl you are his TYPE. i am being 100% so fr rn when i say that man would be head over heels for you, forget takada-chan. ultimate power couple potential, i'm js!!!!!! he would hype you tf up all day everyday (as he should) and i just know he wouldn't have hesitated to go see barbie with you, deadass. brb i'm writing a 20 page essay about it

[suspendingtime]

Alright, should we talk about it?

Part of the mirroring above that stings the most from a Kate pov is that she's literally walking away from Mary and Edwina and into nothing.

[long ramble incoming]

Like, in Anthony's he's walking towards a massive family estate and his 6 siblings (cause Hyacinth was still a foetus behind him). Which isn't to make their emotional suffering a competition, and declare one a winner; just a difference observed. Of course he's going through unimaginable pain and panic as he's just watched his father die, but I'm gonna be Kate centric right now 'cause the post made this particular difference hit me.

So, just remembering that Mary and Ed were the only family she had in the country (and perhaps even the world, that she knew of... we really don't know 'cause they never explicitly tell us about her potential extended family in India - I can only assume 'Appa' and 'Amma' didn't just appear out of thin air). And up to this point Mary has been pretty blind to what's going on with Kate; so to her everything's been 'as it should be' regarding any feelings between Kate/Anthony/Edwina. Until Kate dropped that bangle, which caused Anthony to brandish his undying obsession/devotion to Kate in front of everyone at the altar (which Mary inexplicably seems to not recognise in the moment, or have words to Anthony about afterwards). Then they all run to this room and she hears what Edwina is saying, and before even asking any questions herself, she rebukes Kate straight away.

Mary, who was just about to try and recommend a cup of tea to Edwina after she fled the altar (demonstrating once again that she didn't fully register what had just happened). Then she quickly finds vim to banish Kate to anywhere else... where did she actually expect Kate to go exactly, I don't know.

So we have Kate who is; in an unknown place, surrounded by mostly unknown people, feeling abandoned (yet again), blaming herself already. Then we get to watch her sob (yet again), on the floor of a closet this time, casting her own mother's bangles aside. Utterly alone, in multiple ways (until Anthony finds her).

Then we get the cherry on top that after all this Mary doesn't, at any point, seek her out. When Kate finally goes back to talk to Edwina, she's told that Mary has 'gone for some air' (…um, wouldn't that be a good time to go find Kate and find out a little more about what's going on, all the signs you've missed, perhaps why she has 'kept so much' from you). Mary does reappear of course, when it's time to speak to the Queen, and I think that's the last time we see her in this episode? And I don't think we see Kate again until just before that final altar scene.

They didn't show or elude to any secret Kate/Mary meetings that day. When Kate gets the note to go back to the church she's sat in a non closet room. So we have to assume that after her talk with Edwina, she's just been hanging out and not hiding away. So she's been accessible that whole time. So Mary just didn't consider a quick 5 mins to see what was going on with her. I get that she probably was more immediately concerned with the child who had fled the altar... but all day, she didn't find a few minutes to check that Kate was still in existence, or even to get another perspective out of pure curiosity. But she found time to go for a walk.

AND THEN IN E8 SHE WONDERS WHY KATE MIGHT NOT FEEL LIKE SHE HAD THE RIGHT TO BE LOVED?

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! I can't even talk about the 'try the lily soap' comment in E7, or the whole coma situation that was used to bypass any real confrontation of the Sharma family dynamic. Or the whole desperation to find Edwina another suitor immediately, making them parade around along with the whole family and pretend everything was fine (am I the only one who thinks that was kinda cruel, especially as that desperation is probably part of what got Ed to latch on to Anthony so quick in the first place, I get the scandal avoidance panic but damn).

But yeah, what the user above said... Eh, I didn't even touch on all the points I had in my head when I started typing. 😅 But this is already too long now, and there's TOO much to say and weigh up. And it's all probably been said before, if you got this far, I hope you enjoyed the extended rambling ramble (and forgive me if I'm misremembering any points from E6).

* DEEP EXHALE *

S02E03 | S02E06

Request by @queen-i

[starry-eyed-butch]

aaaaahhhHHHHHH

Now I have this mystery citation from over a year ago from a place 42 minutes away from me for $70??

I’m trying to get ahold of someone but “I’m in line for a callback” and it’s been over an hour. It says I should be able to fight it but the website they use isn’t giving me the button to do it.

I have video proof I was in my room 10 minutes after this citation happened so unless I learned how to teleport and travelled 42 minutes in 10, I couldn’t have physically been there. According to that video, I worked that morning and was trying to eat and nap before a cleaning party that night at work for an audit the next morning. Suck a dick.

I’m not paying it!

Gimme a break! I beg!

[cowboymenace]

SONY SHOWCASE live notes

:readmore:

Fairgsmes seems like a cool idea

Helldivers looks fun!

Cautious about Immortals because it's EA and got some bioshock infinite stuff but magic

Wasn't GhostRunner 1 kinda buns

Phantom Blade looks neat-ø, hope it's more than just sekiro but Chinese

AYYYY NEW GIANT SQUID GAME LETS GOOOOO

Never played Talos Principal but it looks like a thinking persons game (I'm not them)

I have gris on steam I should play that before this one lol

Cat Quest looks cute, unique presentation for a game

Square Enix jumpscare, and it's some quirky looking Splatoon clone? No thanks. Square is so cringe now

Plucky Squire looks cute

Oh it's that voxel game streamers play

What's this a game for ants, haha just kidding HOLY SHIT ITS FUCKIN BIG BOSS, ITS DA REMASTER (can't get hyped because it's not kojima backed)

The only reason I give a fucking crapping shit about this final fantasy is because the dmc 5 people are behind it, but I feel square will find a way to shit it up

Alan Wake and Bake, he smokes so much weed he gets scared (I wanna play the Alan Wake games so day I liked Control)

Asscreed back, ok. While I wait for the next game to show case. I had a download code for Valhalla that came with my CPU, however I read online that the redeem code didn't work for most people and you had a time window to use the code. It wasn't like a steam validation thing, but you had to use some other service to get the game lol.

Night in the woods 2 ok. Do not Google the other guy who developed the game worst mistake of my life

Granbule sure

Oh crap streets is next week fuckin!!!!! I need to get a fight stick this weekend

I completely missed the name of that color game lol

Genshin phenotype no fuckin thanks

Dragons Dogma 2? Sure! Never played the first one, it's single player yeah?

FIVE FN NIGHTS AT FREDDIES??? HELP WANTED 2

VR stuff ok imma take a nap

"NOT ACTUAL GAMEPLAY" THEN I DONT CARRRREEE! SHUT UP!!!

Ew Bungie

WAIT MARATHON?

Destiny 2 zzzzzzzzzzz 😴🛌🥱

Concord ok.

Show spider-man 2 cowards

NO NOT GRAN TURISMO DA MOVIE

Wow no Spider Man 2 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

What da hell, we switching???

I have sony ear buds and they whip so thosell sound good

Lol what if this is turok

KRAVEN DA HUNTER

OH FUCK LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Oh shit can you now swing in queens?

SYMBIOTE

I literally cannot wait for spider man 2

Pretty solid show, there's some good looking games among these titles

[little-orphan-ant]

I wrote Jean angst >:)

Based on the song First love/late spring by Mitski.

And I was so young when I behaved twenty five

Jean was 15 when the accident happened. He had come back from a coma to the news that his sister was dead. That and his own injuries, which were way more intense than he expected. But that didn't matter. Well, it did, but not as much as the pain his parents must have been through. They never showed anything in front of him, but he knew things weren´t fine.

So he put his pain aside and tried to see the bright side. For his parents.

And the town decided to see this as resilience.

Yet now I find I've grown into a tall child

And two years passed. Everything hurted almost as much as back then. But Jean tried to not let this affect him. He would try to distract himself from it. 

“You should be over it, it was two years ago.” He thought.

And I don't wanna go home yet

Jean had never had a chance to feel anything until he died. His song, a breakdown. The moment where he finally said it. That he wasn't ok. And people heard. People heard the pain of the most resilient boy in town.

Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

Jean conceded. With hopes of finally being able to move on. And this time it would be for his own will.

aaAAAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

my little guy!! my boy!! my poor child <33

[mochie85]

I am going to go to bed with the most amazing dreams in my head thanks to you...lol.

A gentleman in the streets, a ravenous Asgardian whore in the sheets; it screamed.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH. This line has sent me!!! Where? I don't know...but I'm gone...

“So, why don’t you tell the generous people here what they’ll be bidding on?” he announced through gritted teeth, “Me.” he said, slowly.

NOT HIM STRIPPING ON STAGE 😱😱😱

...and Scott bidding?! LOL

“What?” he quipped casually, giving a shrug of resignation as he was immediately outbid. “Just shooting my shot. Plus, this is legend already. Iconic. No way I ain’t gonna be part of that.” You rolled your eyes, beginning to press against the mass of bodies to the side. “We should get t-shirts. ‘I bid on Loki Laufeyson’…” he joked to no-one. “’And all I got was this stupid semi.’” he added wistfully as you finally reached Wanda.

“Come on, we’ve all seen the Twitter photos...don’t pretend you haven’t read the tabloids - you know he’s worth it.”

NOT Tony being the instigator! The little PUNK! 🤣🤣🤣

“That I love you, you infuriating woman.” he yelled ferociously, brow furrowing as he realised he had said it aloud.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!

And then that final line...

“I think it’s time you finally saw my chambers, Agent -don’t you?”

Final Bids [Avenger!Loki x Fem.Reader]

Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection A link to my (new) Masterlist is HERE Summary: (19) Stakes are high and mischief is rife at Stark's charity auction. Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Auction trope. Smuttish. Language. Mild Angst -> Fluff. (w/c 4.7k)

Loki hadn’t shown up fighting his way through customs at the airport. There was no dramatic kiss on the runway, and no hint of his theatrical presence at the other side when you landed at JFK. He’s never text you before, he won’t start now; you thought, staring at the blank phone screen resting on the bar of the Tower’s event suite. You stared at it, hoping for a miraculous flash. This is mad.

“Hey.” Wanda said, sliding into the seat beside yours. “Hey.” you replied flatly. She was dressed to the nines tonight, cleavage bursting from a sinfully red strapless dress. “You better be careful in that thing, Thor will get the wrong idea.” you muttered, taking another sip of your drink. “Oh, I’m counting on it.” Wanda winked. “Have you seen him?” she said, flipping her hair over one shoulder as she scanned the room.

“No...I need to talk to him, actually.” you said, joining her in scouting the bustling crowd. Wanda hummed, distracted. Needing to talk to Thor, you chided yourself; say you’re desperate without saying you’re desperate. “I still think you should have given Stark a pair of used panties for this thing.” the redhead mumbled coyly as she turned back to you, satisfied her audience of choice was not in the direct vicinity. “I don’t think anyone wants my dirty underwear, girl.” you laughed, happy for the distraction. “Please.” she scoffed. “Whatever pheromones you’re pumping out had two gods fighting over you. Lit-e-ral-ly.” she said, emphasising with four slaps of her palm on the bar. “People would pay good money to wear that shit like perfume. Mark my words.” You shrugged, seeing Wanda’s eyes narrow. “I think my pheromones are officially out of business, honestly” you sighed, “Rome didn’t exactly go to plan. I think we’re done.” Wanda rolled her eyes. “You always say that. And then the next time I see you, the hair’s all fucked out and you have a big dopey smile on your face and something new he’s said or done that’s driving you crazy. It’s your thing. Your couple thing.” “We’re not a couple.” you snapped.

“If you say so.” Wanda murmured coyly, manoeuvring the tiny straw hanging off her cocktail into her mouth.

There was a pause as you both ran your eyes over the elegant guests returning from intermission. So far, the charity auction had been a roaring success. Your combat belt went for a respectable forty-eight large, while a pair of Banner’s ripped shorts and Bucky’s unwashed sweatband had both garnered over fifty thousand. You knew the world had gone officially mad when Rogers’ notebook of patriotic mindfulness ramblings reached double that. Tony was working his magic on a group of shareholders near the head of the hall, raucous laughter splitting the gin-soaked air. Steve stood at the podium, frowning. As expected, he was taking the duty of auctioneer very seriously.

“What did you hand over to Tony’s fund, then?” you said, crossing your legs on the barstool. “A bra.” Wanda shrugged, as you spluttered on a mouthful of diet coke. “What?!” she postured innocently, “it’s for charity.” The two of you burst into peals of laughter, your gaze drawn back to Captain Rogers squinting at his cards on the stage. “Oh, Steve’s gonna love that.” you gasped, wiping a tear from your eye. Wanda shrugged again. “They said a personal item that people would want – so I complied.” Clint peeled away from the edge of the crowd, leaning on the bar beside you. “Ladies.” he said solemnly, letting his stare wander from a distance over the pulsing mass of people. “Have either of you seen Laufeyson?” Wanda shook her head. “I don’t think he’s coming, he’s not on the auction list – hasn’t even submitted anything.” she said casually, fiddling with her straw. Your stomach dropped, as Clint grimaced. “Good.” he said, letting out a sigh of relief. You frowned. “What’s the problem?” A forced smile stretched across Barton’s face. “Oh nothing! Just...trying to lay low that’s all. He and I had a little...never mind.” You shifted your handbag on the bar, feeling the weight of Loki’s seal rolling gently against the sides. He wouldn’t want to lose it, you thought; remembering the awkward conversations with airport security in Rome. A flash of green caught your attention out the corner of your eye. Whipping your head towards the entrance, you watched as a polished and preened Amanda sashayed around the edge of the crowd like a shark. Green, you scoffed. She’s really laying it on thick. Amanda teetered on her heels before pausing, forehead creased as she plopped down on a chair and hoisting one leg over the other. Clint cleared his throat. “They’re starting again, Tony sent me to get you guys. Shall we?” The next forty-five minutes went by in a haze as your gaze flickered intermittently to the main doors. Loki never missed a chance to schmooze with the higher echelons of Midgardian society. He enjoyed the look of abject terror on Steve’s face too much. You clapped dryly with the others as each lot was closed: Thor’s silk nightcap, Natasha’s make-up case, Lang’s personalised hip-flask and of course...Wanda’s bra. Where is he? You couldn’t help but notice Amanda glancing over her shoulder, meeting your eyes each time before quickly turning away. She made no bids, you noticed; but her stare wandered to the main entrance with suspicious regularity. The same as your own. Steve rumbled on, pausing for laughter as the crowd graciously indulged their host for the evening. Tony heckled from the side-lines, making the captain’s cheeks flush pink on each occasion. As he began the speech he had rehearsed for the closing remarks, you saw his blue eyes widen. The tell-tale shuffle of bodies parting behind you was the only other sound you registered as whispers ran through the crowd like the rustle of leaves. “Good Evening, Agent.” a low voice drawled softly over your shoulder. Wanda elbowed you teasingly in the ribs, her hands still folded on the high circular cocktail table. You elbowed her sharply back.

Tilting your chin casually to the side, you saw the blurred edge of Loki’s profile as he hovered at a respectful distance. “You’re late.” you hissed, heart thundering in your chest as the scent of him infused the air. You could have sworn the holy incense from the Roman church still clung to his hair. Loki chuckled lightly under his breath, hot air ghosting your ear. “I think you’ll find I’m right on time.” he purred, before peeling away to a space at a standing table to your side. Suddenly your mouth felt dry, flickering your eyes to the side covertly. Loki was wearing a suit tonight, but not just a suit; you whined internally. Never just a suit. Snug trousers of darkest forest green clung to his legs, the straight hem tailored flawlessly to the tongues of his dress shoes. A jacket of green sateen was wrapped around his exquisite musculature, biceps bulging beneath the glossy fabric as he conjured a drink to his open hand. You ran your eyes over the black lapel, his strong chest flat beneath the trussed layers of propriety you wanted to rip from his body.

Beneath the jacket, a silk waistcoat hugged his broad torso; the buttons glinting in the low atmospheric lights. A matching cravat wound around his long neck, fastened with a peculiar brooch you could only assume was Asgardian.

His hair was drawn back in an unkempt bun, messy strands hanging by his carved cheekbones. The contrast between his refined ensemble and the muss of his hair was not coincidental. It couldn’t be. A gentleman in the streets, a ravenous Asgardian whore in the sheets; it screamed. In his free hand, he held a cane; the tip heavy and ornately carved. Completely unnecessary, of course. Of course, you thought – watching him sip his drink with a knowing smirk. People were staring. And among them, Amanda. Steve cleared his throat pointedly, trying to recapture the section of the crowd engrossed in the unexpected late arrival. Your gaze swung back to the blushing blonde just as a stagehand crept sheepishly to his side, handing him a note.

“-and so in conclusion we would like to thank...to...wait wha-?” he raised his hands towards Tony, waving to the note with undisguised irritation. You saw Stark shrug, closing his eyes as his eyebrows raised. Just go with it, the gesture said. Steve frowned. “It seems we have one final item for auction, folks.” the captain said sourly, his feelings on the matter abundantly clear. “Courtesy of Loki Laufeyson apparently...which is..is-” He trailed off as he flipped the prompt card in his hand over, before waving it subtlety to the man who had delivered it, hidden offstage. The stagehand shrugged, making Steve purse his lips. “Well...I’m sure whatever our newest member has submitted for tonight’s fundraising efforts will be top notch. Why don’t we get the man himself up here to tell us about it, since he’s being so coy?” Steve looked smugly towards towards the god in the crowd, before he frowned. Loki was already sauntering towards the stage, tipping the ostentatious cane to excited applause before he began to climb the steps. You could see Steve’s lips moving, the rest of his face a stoic warning. He spun on his heels towards the audience, whipping the microphone cable once. “So, why don’t you tell the generous people here what they’ll be bidding on?” he announced through gritted teeth, an air of joviality barely masking his anxiety. Rogers gaze ran suspiciously over the god's placid features before turning back to the crowd with a showman smile. Loki clasped his hands behind his back, leaning forward to the microphone clenched in the captain’s fist. “Me.” he said, slowly.

There were gasps as the guests leaned to each others ears, hands impulsively travelling to the bidding paddles discarded prematurely. “Ha-ha-ha he’s only joking folks. Let’s not get excited.” Steve chuckled, extending a hand to pat down the enthusiasm on the air. “Why don’t you tell them what they’ll really be bidding on.” he said with a maniacal fake smile that looked like it hurt. Loki’s smirk was a masterpiece of mischief, flirting at the dimples at the base of those devastatingly high cheekbones. He bent forward to the microphone, and you saw the exact moment that Steve realised it was too late to pull it away. “Me.” Loki repeated with a growl, his voice even richer and more seductive the second time. His long fingers wrapped around Steve’s white knuckles, holding him steady. “For one night, for the highest bidder; I will show them what it is to be brought to the precipice of sanity through pleasure. My complete and utter carnal devotion. An unlocking of your basest and most debauched desires. That is my submission to this affair.” He straightened, his eyes flickering to Steve’s face now pinker than his fuchsia tie. The poor captain’s eyes were watering. You felt sick. “What the fuck is he doing?” Wanda hissed, before downing her drink. “This is ridiculous, how dare he... he needs a knee in the nuts-” You turned, shushing her. “No, just...I need to..think.” you muttered. On one hand, if he didn’t go above fifty thousand...you could probably afford it. Just. But then, why should you? The arrogant, cruel prick that he was. If there was ever a way to show you that he was over it, over you – then this was it. Fuck him, you thought; blood thundering as you saw Amanda twirling the paddle between her fingers. And he’s definitely going above fifty-fucking-thousand. You saw Tony begin to squirm as Steve took a few tentative steps to the front of the podium. “You know...ladies and gents I gotta say this is pretty heckin’ unorthodox right here and I’m not sure-” In a handful of frantic bounds, Tony was on the stage; his arms spread wide before he clapped Rogers harshly on the back. “-OK, thanks Cap.” he announced playfully. “Captain Goodtimes over here doesn’t think it would be proper to support tonight’s great cause with this...fine specimen on the bidding block.” He motioned up and down Loki’s long body, his endless limbs wrapped in the exquisite green suit that shimmered like blackbird feathers in the light. “Do you agree with him?” Tony yelled incredulously, winding up the baying crowd with a circling fist as chants of No filled the air. Steve was incandescent with embarrassment, redness flushing down beneath the collar of his shirt. “Are you ready to get a piece.of.this?” Tony roared, as Loki spun slowly on his heels, hands clasped behind his back before he raised them outwards with faux sheepishness. A smile tugged his lips, eyes smouldering across the crowd becoming steadily unsettled as friends became adversaries in the face of competition. Chaos was brewing.

You suddenly felt yourself jostled, Wanda’s hand grasping at your forearm before it slipped away. Swathes of guests crowded forward, each trying to be subtle and failing miserably. Men and women crushed together towards the stage, elbows popping dangerously close to eyes as they readied their paddles for action. “Let’s start the bidding at...twenty thousand.” Tony postured towards the fizzing audience, casting an appraising glance back towards Loki who met his stare with a tilt of his head. His lips pursed, a silent 'ooo' sliding between his lips as he feigned offence.

Tony grinned, pressing the microphone innocently to his chin. “Number seventeen, I see you.” he pointed. “Twenty five thousand.” a strangled voice shrieked behind you. “Twenty-five, not bad.” Tony mumbled, beginning to pace. Loki swung the handle of his cane casually, before making it flip in the air and land expertly back in his grip. The crowd groaned in unison, the scent of mass arousal beginning to hang heavy in the air. You felt your pussy clench beneath your party dress, beads of sweat beginning to form on your collarbone. In a flash, the cane disappeared, as Tony let his forefinger trail down the silk of Loki’s waistcoat, toying with a chain hanging from the pocket. “It’s a nice suit Laufeyson – you’ve got quite the wardrobe, but I think your bidders are more interested in what’s underneath all that slutty satin am I right?” he said coyly, raising an eyebrow. Feral roars of approval sounded around you, as you were shunted back and forth. The man beside you shot up his hand. “Thirty-five!” he yelled, waving the paddle in the air. The increments came like bullets as Loki’s fingers toyed with the silk cravat wound around his neck, sliding the material teasingly from the curve. He threw it into the audience, two women falling to the floor as they became a squabbling mess of bare legs and dishevelled Chanel.

This can’t be happening, you thought with a wave of panic. You clenched the paddle in your fist to your chest, watching the smouldering sweep of Loki’s gaze run like treacle over his captive audience as he began to shrug the satin jacket from his shoulders.

“Fifty!” you heard yourself gasp, arm straight in the air. Tony’s face scrunched, his amusement palpable as he acknowledged the desperate bid with a nod. But it was white noise. “Sixty-five!” the man beside you blurted immediately, shouldering you roughly to the side as he squeezed forwards. You cast a pleading look towards Wanda, who shook her head in disapproval. Tony didn’t have to say a word, pointing to each bidder as they continued to come thick and fast. Loki held his waistcoat with one long finger, dangling it teasingly to the side before letting it drop. It vanished before hitting the floor. Seventy. Eighty-two. Ninety-five thousand. The devastatingly erotic god treated each button of his shirt like an act of foreplay. His fingers caressed the curve before releasing another sliver of fair skin to the sound of baying moans of desire all around you. Beginning to force your way against the tide of bodies to Wanda, you collided with Scott. “Oh hey.” he grinned, eyes wide with excitement. “This is fucking ca-ray-zy right?” Another wave of squeals told you Loki had reached the end of the line of buttons. Suddenly Scott raised both arms, throwing his head back. “A HUNDRED N’ FIFTY BIG ONES!” he yelled, returning to his previous stance as if nothing had happened.

“What?” he quipped casually, giving a shrug of resignation as he was immediately outbid. “Just shooting my shot. Plus, this is legend already. Iconic. No way I ain’t gonna be part of that.” You rolled your eyes, beginning to press against the mass of bodies to the side. “We should get t-shirts. ‘I bid on Loki Laufeyson’…” he joked to no-one. “’And all I got was this stupid semi.’” he added wistfully as you finally reached Wanda. “I saw your bid. It was kind of lame.” she drawled. You shook your head. “I don’t know what to do Wanda.” you whined, wringing your hands. You heard a commotion as the crowd parted over near the doors – a woman had fainted. Loki’s smirk was pure drama as he showed off the endless length of his body with finesse, bare chest glowing beneath the stage-lights. His legs were wide – a perfect triangle wrapped in tight, luxurious cotton that creased against his thighs. The bulge of his cock was clearly visible, every subtle sway of his hips making the fabric stretch against the outline. The bladed angles of his face flashed tantalisingly beneath heavy-lidded eyes as he reached for his belt buckle. Five hundred thousand. Five-fifty. Six hundred.

Wanda rolled her eyes again. “Look – if he doesn’t say it back? Well then he’s the same asshole he’s always been. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that.” she mumbled, taking another sip of her drink. “But the auction-” you whined, feeling Wanda’s other-worldly grip tighten on your wrist. “You’re an Avenger, dumbass.” she growled. “Fuck the auction.” “Fuck the auction.” you repeated unconvincingly under your breath, turning to face the source of your undoing. Loki’s eyes met yours across the room as he ambled forwards, ignoring the hordes of guests who had lost all sense of decorum scrounging at the stage’s edge. They were feral. Over the chaotic din, you could swear you heard the clunk of metal as his graceful fingers toyed with the metal fastening at his hips. He slid the leather out of its loops slowly. Tony wolf- whistled. “Hoooo-eee folks, do I hear seven hundred thousand for a night of debauchery with this actual...real life...bona-fide sex god. Think of the orphans, people.” he jibed, working the crowd into a frenzy. Eight hundred, eight-fifty, nine hundred. You watched the constant flash of frenzied paddles rise and fall, your breaths becoming ragged under duress. “Do I hear one million?!” Tony smarmed, unfurling his arm towards Loki who had placed his hands on his hips, working the waistband of his trousers down to reveal the V of his muscles. “Come on, we’ve all seen the Twitter photos...don’t pretend you haven’t read the tabloids - you know he’s worth it.” Loki flicked a strand of hair back from his eyes, throwing Tony a slow wink as a paddle for the one million bid rose tentatively in the air. Fuck, Tony. you thought, slamming your paddle down to the bar table. “Are you gonna use that?” a woman behind you mumbled inaudibly, before sliding it away. Your frantic eyes found Amanda, still seated elegantly at one of the high stools. There was something different about her tonight, you pondered; as she waited with a look of unbreakable concentration. Waiting to pounce.

There were gasps as Loki reached one arm up, the mouth-watering curve of his bicep matched only by the tight stretch in his obliques. He tilted his chin down, the coquettishly slutty pose making you realise a flood of wetness had begun pooling traitorously between your thighs. He slowly dragged the hair-tie from his messy bun, letting waves of curls fall around his collarbone. “Final bids, folks.” Tony sighed. “I don’t think Laufeyson can take off any more clothes without Steve-y boy going into cardiac arrest.” he quipped, fighting to contain laughter as he glanced at Rogers concealed off stage. Final bids. A wave of nausea rolled in your belly. Who had bid last? Was it the stockbroker, the mayor’s wife? Obama? You couldn’t tell, the mass of jostling bodies melding into one horrible sludge of jealousy. “Two million.” a clear-cut voice called over the carnage. Every head in the room turned to gape at the owner, but you didn’t even need to look. It was her. Tony released a low whistle, spinning on his heels and patting Loki on the shoulder with a commiserate shake. “Two million. No pressure, bud. Hope the royal sceptre has been resting recently.” he mumbled with feigned secrecy into the microphone. Loki chuckled, leaning over. “A veritable bargain, I assure you.” he smirked. “That’s my boy!” Tony chuckled gleefully, spinning to the front. “Two million going once…” Your eyes were wide, turning to Wanda who nudged her head frantically to the head of the room. Tackle him, it said. “Two million going twice…” - “Where’s my paddle…?” you gasped, not thinking straight, “I..fuck.” “Sold!” Tony yelled, to moans of disappointment and reluctant clapping. “To the beautiful Amanda Goldberg for two...million...dollars. Come get your prize, m’lady.”

You saw red, the room starting to spin as the applause grew louder. The flow of Amanda’s dress swirled towards the stage, a bare-chested Loki down on one knee to welcome her with a kiss on her outstretched hand. “Loki, no!” you gasped quietly– pushing the crowd to the side as you elbowed forward. His arm slid around Amanda’s shoulders, planting a lingering kiss on her cheek with a secret smile. “Loki!” you yelled, shoving the final obstacle from your path. Tony. He spluttered, waving his hands dramatically as you hopped onto the stage and took three stumbling steps to where Loki waited with hands clasped behind his back. Even in his stripped state, messy curls hanging devilishly around his chiselled features dark with the lust of baying adoration – he was a prince. Your prince. The crowd began to whisper, awkward murmurs of dissent bubbling like lava at your back. You could feel the heat of their confusion wafting against your skin as it rose in your cheeks. Loki stared unblinking, his eyes narrowing for a split second as he analysed your stricken features.

“Can I help you?” he purred innocently, drumming his fingers around Amanda’s bicep. She gave a loud, cartoonish giggle. You swallowed harshly, throat dry. Loki tilted his head, feigned-confusion painted on his ethereal features. You grasped at your clutch bag, feeling it click open with a fumble of your moist fingers. “I wanted to give you this...back.” you stuttered, arm outstretched with his ancient seal in the flat of your palm.

Loki looked at it for what felt like an eternity, before his eyes finally rose.

“Are you sure you wish to return this to me?” he murmured, arm dropping from Amanda’s shoulder. His chin was tilted to his chest, ropes of muscle flexing at his neck. The growing whispers of the crowd faded to nothing, the beat of your heart the only sound as it thudded in your ears. “No, actually.” you heard yourself say, voice trembling. Loki inhaled sharply. His chest puffed, hard abdominals clenching as he braced himself. Reluctant tears stung your eyes, fingers shaking as the heavy seal began to quiver in your outstretched hand. You tried to blink the impending flood away, glancing to the side. Steve stood behind the wings, wringing his hands with a deep frown. Your eyelids fluttered shut, wishing the ground would swallow you whole. You could hear Tony trying to clear the crowd, tempting them to the bar with the offer of free booze, before Loki’s warm breath fanned your forehead. “Then do not return it.” he said, carefully wrapping your fingers around the cool metal. His hand clasped your own, squeezing gently as he lowered to your ear. “It is yours.” he whispered. It is yours. Maybe it was the scent of him, maybe it was the heat of his naked skin so close, the warmth with which his fingers intertwined with yours, holding his sacred mark. Maybe it was the faint plead in his voice. But as your eyes rose along the carved lines of his chest and up the curve of his neck, savouring every inch – you somehow knew what you would find. Loki’s eyes shone with nervous anticipation, brows slanted upwards as he licked his bottom lip. His teeth caught the curve, pulling gently. They swam with worlds unseen and words unsaid, long lashes framing the endless chaos you had lost yourself within. Hopelessly.

A rogue tear rolled down your cheek, making you look away. “No, darling...no-” Loki murmured, confusion lacing his tone as he wiped it softly with his thumb.

He cupped your face, drawing it towards him. “Please, Loki...don’t.” you gulped, swallowing the force threatening to humiliate you in front of the whole of New York high society. He sighed, pressing his forehead to yours. Tendrils of his hair grazed your cheeks, curtaining you from the crowd at your back as his fingertips slid from your jaw to your shoulders; gently at rest. “Agent, I…” he started, breath trembling. His grip tightened, a staggered exhale making his stomach clench. Three loud slaps sounded by your feet, making you jump. Loki released you with a growl, as you spun towards a very pissed-off looking Tony resting casually on the side of the stage.

“Can you guys hurry up? Trying to save this thing, here. Thanks, Laufeyson, by the way, for the added theatrics. Very amusing, as always.” he scoffed dryly, inspecting his nails. “Will you desist?” Loki hissed, crouching forward. Tony shrugged. “Better get the two mill for the orphans. That’s all I’m saying. Little Loki’s got his work cut out tonight.” “Little?!” Loki snarled indignantly, sweeping his hair back from his forehead as he rose to his full height once more.

The vein in his temple twitched, anger flashing across the sharp profile you knew so well. You grasped his bicep, feeling the tight bulge soften as his breaths steadied. Nerves twisted in your belly like acid, the room beginning to swim as you felt the moment begin to pass. Not again. You took a deep breath; “Loki, what were you going to-” The god whipped round, jaw set in a grimace as he swiped against your forearm with his own. Your hand was swept from his bicep, caught in a millisecond by the warrior grasp of his long fingers. “That I love you, you infuriating woman.” he yelled ferociously, brow furrowing as he realised he had said it aloud. You gaped, frowning as you fought lacklustre against his iron grip. Breaths quickened in your chest, panting as you looked at the abject fear beginning to creep into Loki’s eyes. The gazes of a hundred confused spectators became nothing but a blur, their mutters fading. You stilled, letting your hand become limp. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. Suddenly, you lunged towards him - hooking your free arm around his shoulders. Loki swallowed a gasp as your lips met his with force, a low sigh breathing into your mouth as he melted into you. The god’s hands travelled to your ass, hoisting you around his hips as his tongue massaged your own with wild intensity. A palm slid up your back, winding in your hair as he pushed your face roughly to his. You could hear the PG-curses of Rogers as he frantically hoisted the stage curtains closed, his inane blustering audible over the gasps of intrigue from the crowd beyond. Loki’s feral kisses had moved to your neck, the desperate adrenaline coursing through him as he devoured your soft skin in messy sucks. You found your fingers curling in his lengths, pulling his head back gently. Just like the old days, you thought with a thrill. He frowned, panting. Loki wet his lips, preparing to speak before you covered his mouth with a flat palm. “I love you too, you infuriating whatever-you-are.” you enunciated slowly, lips feeling heavy with the force of his affections. The god’s brows slanted, deep lines appearing in his forehead as he shook his head from side to side; making your hand slip away. “Truly?” he growled incredulously, peering up through ebony lashes. “Truly.” you whispered, watching a smile as radiant as an April sunrise creep slowly across his face. “What happened to ‘I know you love me, Agent’…” you coyed, impersonating the timbre of his voice as he lowered you to the ground. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you flush to his bare chest. “Knowing and feeling are two different things, Agent.” he purred, before placing a languishing kiss on your forehead. “What would be the point in your love for me...” he murmured, muffled against the skin, “if you did not believe it yourself?” There was silence as Loki’s fingertip tenderly grazed your collarbone, steady breaths rising and falling between you as he nuzzled into your temple with a low sigh. You opened your eyes over Loki’s shoulder. “Oh – shit, what about her?” you groaned, giving a small, awkward wave to Amanda several meters away. That’s weird, you thought; frowning. She’s smiling. Smiling like...

Loki’s hand rose, a click of his fingers making the emerald skirts of Amanda’s dress begin to smoulder with bright green flame. “My brother owed me quite a few favours, Agent…” he murmured apologetically with a smile against your cheek.

Your eyes widened as a bulky frame peeled into view behind the mirage of Loki’s magic. But the grin – the grin was still the same. Thor flicked his hair, running his palms down his torso. “That’s better.” he rumbled, throwing you a wink. “Sorry about that…” he chuckled. “Motivation was required, apparently.” He folded his meaty forearms. “I still think you’re mad for being in love with him, by the way. But there’s no accounting for taste.” “You better not have started another Oath of Most Ass-yoor-red Recompense scenario.” you muttered dryly to your dark-haired lover, making another smile stretch across his face. He pulled you tight. “No, darling. This was purely fraternal reparations. Isn’t that right, brother?” he growled. “I have been reliably informed that I have been, what you call, a dick-head.” Thor grumbled penitently, scuffing his foot on the floor. “Indeed.” Loki hummed coldly, before his voice softened. “But tonight has gone some way to mending said wrongdoings. Along with your agreed donation to the orphan-fund, naturally.” “Naturally.” Thor grumbled, averting his eyes. Loki’s fingers toyed with the shell of your ear, the tips exploring the angle of your jaw lightly as if for the first time. “I believe that we should..talk? As is the custom I believe? If you’ll permit it.” You nodded, giddy disbelief still coursing through your veins. “As long as it’s not in this fucking ballroom.” you scoffed, before squealing as Loki gathered you effortlessly against his chest bridal style. “Gods, no.” Loki purred, capturing your lips in a wet kiss before his tantalisingly moist lips grazed your ear. “I think it’s time you finally saw my chambers, Agent -don’t you?”

To be continued in Final Bids: Love Wins (coming soon) Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection

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[willowrosenboob]

stupid thing by nickel (school hard) - beneath you