#AROUND THE EXACT TIME HE CHOOSES TO ABANDON THE GOAL OF RECOGNITION BECAUSE HE WANTS TO STAY WITH HIM
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Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Ep. 40 // The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights, John Steinbeck
#the entire fucjing series. that last line was floating through my head. from eps 29-40 I couldnât believe. how cruelty it held up#AND MERLIN BADE FAREWELL TO THE KING HE HAD CREATED#TO DIRECTOR DIâS âthere will always be new legendsâ & EVERYONE NOTICING FANG DUOBINGâS GROWTH#AROUND THE EXACT TIME HE CHOOSES TO ABANDON THE GOAL OF RECOGNITION BECAUSE HE WANTS TO STAY WITH HIM#he wants. to live with him. SORRY BUTIT IS THE EXACT THREE AUTUMS FIC QUOTE âI want to be alive with him againâ AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN#ITS WHAT HE CHOOSES. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN HE CANNOT HAVE IT.#because li lianhua believe his life is his legend & his legend is over. and itâs fang duobingâs turn & its. itâs. SOMETIMES YOU LOVESOMEONE#SO MUCH YOU END UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THEM#anyway u wouldnât believe the ammount of screenshots in my album rn so yeah youâll all b seeing a lot more parallel posts soon SO. THEY ARE#JUST. THE PERFECT TRAGEDY. YOU CAN DIE AND COME BACK BUT YOU DONT COME BACK AND YOU DONT GET TO DIE QUIETLY AND YOU ARE SO PRESENT YOU ARE#INEVITABLY REWRITTEN OVER AND OVER IN FROMT OF YOUR OWN FACE!!!! anyway. okay. okay. the End. for now#mysterious lotus casebook#li lianhua#li xiangyi#di feisheng#fang duobing#parallels
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the devil judge + the seven deadly sins
so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.
but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. itâs not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope itâs enough to chew on.
while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.
gluttony
the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.
and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize itâs not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasnât just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.
youâll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but yâall know who iâm talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. itâs the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone elseâs sacrifice.
lust
i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitangoâ. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because itâs monetarily worth something.
but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i wonât say revenge necessarily because theyâre doing as theyâre told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohanâs fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.
and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.
envy
envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people donât necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.
sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and thatâs true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means sheâs looked down upon by those she thinks matters.
which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all itâs cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. itâs lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?
more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then thatâs what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.
âpeople of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,â according to Understanding Philosophy.
wrath
while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think heâs lived with a tampered flame since his parentâs death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isnât until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him itâs okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.
gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaonâs ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.
the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the ministerâs suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesnât like what he sees. at this point, gaonâs upset isnât necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesnât absolve himself from what they did. he doesnât turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohanâs, too.
with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you wonât be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, itâs an ever-pressing theme of his.
thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses heâs given himself in his revenge story. heâs always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over peopleâs lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.
his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, itâs easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. itâs almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaonâs mentor that he is an abyss. heâs referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what heâs doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims heâs an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means heâs an animal/monster.
wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and thatâs a dangerous type. itâs actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until theyâre almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.
sloth
sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because sheâs featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.
soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning âwithout care.â
the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while itâs easy to argue that the minister hasnât been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isnât lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.
but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it âhinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of manâs undoingâ according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.
while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of slothâs traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. itâs an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.
greed
i donât know that jinjoo wouldâve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasnât for sunahâs direction, but sheâs eager to please and wants to be useful. itâs only natural for her to want more because itâs clear sheâs a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.
but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you canât have more than what you do, and in jinjooâs situation, sheâs already overlooked through no fault of her own. and itâs not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, theyâre after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but theyâre all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda.Â
i donât think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think thatâs only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and sheâs keen not to be overlooked. this isnât her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isnât necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone whoâs been left in the dark for so long.
she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.
pride
soohyunâs pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaonâs. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but weâve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesnât let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.
it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. itâs not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the ministerâs sonâs car. sheâs ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadnât been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.
but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply donât know beyond that of gaon. itâs unfortunate because we donât have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what sheâs able to accomplish, which is why itâs devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.
aristotle is of the belief that, âpride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,â from Nicomachean Ethics.
but pride for soohyun isnât about honors or rewards. itâs for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues sheâs set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes itâs not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. itâs about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i donât mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.
for soohyun, she knows that gaonâs actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what weâve seen, i think it can be argued that itâs really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesnât mean she doesnât understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.
to put this in laymanâs terms, weâll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows itâs wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaonâs gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?
and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - iâm not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.
every character indulges
truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and thatâs what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.
the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. theyâre also a defining feature of aristotleâs works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.
the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, itâs about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when weâre blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when weâre swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if weâre not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.
the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if itâs even possible to find the correct answer.
#x#the devil judge#the devil judge meta#*#*the devil judge#so i have some Thoughts#probably not very good ones but ya know
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burnt snake primary + bird secondary [model?]
Hi! I have been aware of the Sorting system for a long time now but I always get stuck in typing myself. I was wondring if you could shed some light on the process.
If we go by what I score at the test, it's usually a tie between Snake and Lion primary (most likely Bird last) and Bird/Badger secondary (most likely Lion last).
Internal primary / Built secondary, I can work with that.Â
If we go by the "favorite characters" test then most of them are Snake primary and/or Bird secondary. I also have found that Lion doesn't exactly mess well with me, most character with a Lion anything get on my nerves but that's not a constant.
Fictional lions can be exaggerated in a way that works as a power fantasy for real lions... but Iâm mostly just interested to see if the âfavorite characterâ test works out.Â
I've also come to realise in real life that i absolutely hate deception or betrayal especially if it comes from someone I trust/close to me.Â
I mean... is there anyone who is like âyes, Iâm totally cool with people I trust betraying me.âÂ
I also have an issue with loyalty and honesty both so I can understand why Snake/Lion is tied for my primary. My issue with Snakes is that I don't think I have this "no matter what" support. I bond with people a lot but if they don't treat me right I will push back, I will cry, I will tell them offÂ
Snakes might have more trouble than Lions when it comes to breaking with people who mistreat them... and they might feel more conflicted and âstickyâ afterwards, since being loyal to people is the base of their morality. But they will absolutely do it.Â
Think about a Lion changing their mind versus a Bird changing their mind. They both *do* it, but since a Bird has access to all the levels of their system, itâs all very consciously constructed, and theyâre used to poking at it - change isnât usually *that* big of a deal.
But Iâm a Lion. If Iâm going to change my mind, I need to smacked over my head with the lesson, usually multiple times (although Iâm getting better about that...) Iâm going to have a mini existential crisis (those things clear out the cobwebs.) And then Iâll be emotionally recalibrated. Snakes are internal primaries just like Lion, so their process is more like that. Dropping people is hard and emotional and sticky, but when they are dropped they are dropped. Badgers, since their *reasons* for whether or not they are responsible for someone are much clearer and more accessible, have an easier time writing people off.Â
if I don't get the level of intense I'm looking for I will translate that as "not caring enough" and I'll break up or if that's not possible for whatever reason i'll be miserable.
You certainly want to get Snake loyalty directed at you, and if you donât get it, youâre miserable. And the fact that something like that would make you miserable... is making me think Snake. This is very Snake-flavored angst.
A huge sourse of pain in my life had been some things that happened with my father that I translated as him probably loving himself more than me. I always see that Snakes stay loyal to their close ones no matter what and I'm like: why would I stay unwavering to someone that hurts me?Â
You wouldnât. You shouldnât. No one should.Â
I didn't abandon my dad when he was sick but I'm pretty sure I was Burned and resnting him 24/7 (sorry for the heavy stuff).
Being a caregiver is INCREDIBLY hard (thereâs a reason you can hire people to do it, and theyâre payed so well.) Being a caregiver to a family member is even harder, and being a caregiver to a family member whoâs hurt you is probably one of the hardest things a human being can do. Itâs really, really not unusual at all to resent the sick person, and you should not feel guilty about it.Â
You also mention that Snakes understand other Snakes when they put their loved ones first and maybe in real life I do it but I have a huge example of me watching a Snake primary character not cutting off his love interest when she was awful to him from my perspective (emotional manipulation, choosing others before him, rejecting him, generally not loving him) and being LIVID about it.
I guess what I would say to you... is that even though the other primaries show their love differently, it does not mean they love any less intensely. A Badger choosing someone in need instead of you does not mean they are *not* loving you.Â
Generally I tend to prefer couples that have things in common and two Snake primaries together will most likely be my favorites, most of my ships are like that.
There is something very attractive about two Snakes in a relationship together, but remember that all these different primaries and secondaries do balance each other out. I tend to think that *exact* house matches make unfortunate romantic pairings. They re-enforce each otherâs negative traits, get too extreme, and sometimes get stuck because theyâve only got the one way to approach, and solve a problem.Â
I have been very adamant about my friends not giving manipulative people the 'get go' to do whatever they want with them because I can see the indiference and the manipulation.Â
Manipulation is a problem solving strategy, indifference is a motive. Theyâre not the same thing.
I get mad when they don't listen to me eventhough I turn out to be right. Most of the times I have cut off people from my life is the reason I said preiously, that I don't think they give as much support as I do to them and they end up after a point on my "I don't need you in my life anymore" list.
Iâm starting to think youâre a Burnt Snake. You are clearly Snake, and you want to distribute Snake loyalty to the people around you. But it doesnât feel safe (probably because of baggage left over from your dad - he hurt you, so youâre scared that they will too.) So youâre hyper sensitive to anything that doesnât feel like the most extreme devotion. And just like a Burnt Badger rejecting people preemptively, before they have a chance to fail them... youâre rejecting people because it hurts less than them rejecting you.Â
I think Lion gets up high because I can understand the need for following a 'cause' but in my case it's not exactly a moral cause, it's simply that I always wanted to be an actress and generally expand my knowledge on cinema/TV/theatre so I studied it. I wanted to be succesful in my job and get better and better and better. I am interested in prizes but only if they come as a recognition of my skillset (if that makes sense). I always thought that people were my priority even though the goal of achieving my dreams was always guiding me but as I grow older I'm not so sure anymore. I just know I couldn't be walking through life all alone.
This sounds like a Snake with no people (who wants people.) Without people, Snakes take care of themselves, and that often look likes job, money, prizes. (Itâs where the old stereotype of âambitiousâ comes from.)Â
When I was thinking about what I wanted to do for a living, I wanted something that would wake me up in the mornings and make me feel that my time at a job won't be wasted.Â
As do we all.
But I also needed for everything to be a real job, not charity for the "cause" eventhough I have worked A LOT just because I love doing some things and not ony to get paid. But I guess these things are fueled by my love and I don't see them as "profession" per se.Â
People? Until in we live in the Star Trek socialist utopia, you need to be paid for the work you do. Even if youâre working for a charity and even if youâre doing something you love.Â
Another pointer towards Lion is that I do identify with the thinking of systems and how they play a part in people's lives and how they should be changed. But I'm not sure I always did this. I think I've been Burned as well at some point (not sure if I still am) so that makes things difficult.
Yeah, youâre Burned. And sometimes Burnt Snakes will latch onto a Lion Cause, the same way that Burnt Lions will latch onto an individualâs morality. Thatâs actually pretty common.
The secondary thing is pretty simple imo, I think I'm a Bird but I might be Burned? I don't know if that "useful/fun" situation makes a difference for me because I always think that whatever I have collected is actually useful to me and if I got new skills, they would be useful to me as well at some point.
I don't know what else to write really, I think it's quite a lot to read already. If you have an inclination about my type I'd like to hear your opinion.
You havenât talked at all about how you solve problems. Which might relate to burning, or it might not. But if you tend to collect skills and tools, thatâs at least a Bird secondary model. <3
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Satsuki meta anon here again, apologies, but I was reading some meta that you wrote surrounding Soichiro/Isshin and his relatively necessity to abandon both his daughters, and wanted to contribute my own thoughts on the matter, specifically around the matter of difference of the nature of how alone both of them are. You nailed it completely with Ryuko. Isshin left Ryuko alone, wounded by his severance of their closeness in her early years and making it nearly impossible to bond with others. But-
-my reading of Satsukiâs situation is one of equal isolation, if of a different kind. Soichiro introduced her to a world where she canât even trust her own mother, usually one of the, if not the most, strongest bonds a child could have at that age. Coupled with the fact that she was likely taught early on that being a child of a family with the wealth and power meant that people would try and use her for a piece of that, and you have a recipe for a grieving child incapable of trust without major investments of time and effort and frankly, some testing.Â
Soroi is in the employ of the family, paid by the family to serve Satsuki. In the beginning, while she accepted his attempts to comfort her via tea and an introduction of one of her closest friends, its very likely that she didnât trust him right away even if she desperately wanted to bc of how closely money could play a part in that kind of trust. Yes Soichiro asked Soroi to look after her, but is that something he could have easily conveyed to her at that junction and have her believe it? I think the trust they attained by the time Satsuki went to middle school was very hard earned on Soroiâs part.Â
When it comes to Nonon, the light novel confirms that she didnât find Satsuki interesting until she was very deeply troubled, a change that Satsuki very likely noticed the difference in her interest beyond that of two children of powerful families associating together. They may have been friends since preschool, but arguably Satsuki did not trust her until Nonon followed her away from a school that suited Nononâs tastes and into a rougher one. Iori likely suffered from being placed in a similar boat as Soroi, not to be trusted for the sake of his uncleâs employment until proof otherwise (obviously earned as well, considering just how central Iori was to her plans and inner circle).Â
While Ryuko was utterly alone because of a broken ability to bond from separation anxiety turned to abandonment issues, Satsuki found herself alone among others who might very well sell her out for power or money, regardless of their true intentions. Both are very isolating situations. And Iâd argue that trusting people with plans and secrets and perhaps your life are markedly different than fully entrusting your heart to them, which has been played up by the anime as a large difference between Ryuko and Satsuki. Where Ryuko opens her heart to Mako and Senketsu, Satsukiâs heart remains closed still until far later.
In fact, because of this, Ragyo saying âgive your heart over to meâ (Netflix subs, I think Iâve seen it translated as âentrust your heart to meâ as well) has always stood out to me as understanding Satsuki doesnât trust like that, which is what separates her from Nui and Rei.Â
Apologies for the length of this, and that I keep doing this your inbox, but this interpretation has been sitting inside of me since 2014.Â
Oh my goodness, Anon!
I hope this doesnât come off wrong, but I think you really ought to be posting these analyses under your own name. You deserve credit for your excellent work! As much as Iâm thrilled that someone would want to discuss these topics at such length with meâseriously, you do not have to apologize at all for engaging with my content so much because that is literally my goalâI feel that you should also be getting recognition for what you do. I know how much time and effort goes into writing stuff like this.
Of course, I do understand that there are valid reasons to wish to be anonymous. I just want to say that these are good, detailed posts that could stand very well on their own, without any input from me.
Regarding my input here, these asks remind me of a line from âKILL la KILL Digest -Naked Memories by Aikuro Mikisugi-,â a quick recap âepisodeâ that was included as a DVD/Blu-ray extra. Narrated by Aikuro, the short briefly explains the entire plot of Kill la Kill and then sets up the OVA with its final lines: âAs for Satsuki Kiryuin, who led such an intense life ever since she could remember, totally alone⌠What kind of clothes will she choose to wear from now on? Thatâs the one thing that intrigues me.â
As you might expect, I always disagreed with the sentiment of Satsuki being âtotally alone.â In the tags of one post, I even wrote, in response, âNah man youâre thinking of Ryukoâ and, âSatsuki had Soroi and Shiro and her Elite Four.â As I argued in the essay that youâre probably referring to, Isshin/Soichiro left Ryuko aloneâand drj2008 even opened me up to the idea that he perhaps very purposely created and utilized Ryukoâs loneliness so that she would be so desperate for love that sheâd bond more easily with Senketsuâbut Isshin/Soichiro did at least assure that Satsuki would always have someone by her side when he told Soroi to look after her.
And I think thatâs the key point of difference here. Iâd never before considered that Soroi would need to gain Satsukiâs trust because I assumed he had it from the very start. My interpretation was that Soroi had to be a dear, close friend of Soichiro for Soichiro to ever ask him to look after Satsuki, and Satsukiâwho adored her father, arguably to a troubling degreeâwouldnât question her fatherâs judgment. From the moment Soroi and Satsuki met, I believed that she would know, just by understanding Soroiâs relation to her father, that Soroi was someone to be trusted.
But I see now that my reading makes a lot of assumptions. Who knows when exactly Soroi told Satsuki that Soichiro had asked him to look after her? Satsuki might have been informed that Soroi was her fatherâs choice in some way (which is⌠actually quite curious, honestly), and Soroi might have told her that he knew everything early on, but youâre rightâwe donât really know. I think your reading is very fair.
Concerning Nonon, I agree completely. I found Nononâs part in the light novel to be absolutely tragic. Talking about the story, I once said, âIt just shows how Satsuki did not trust Nonon at all.â Nonon was head-over-heels infatuated with Satsuki, but Satsuki didnât even bother to tell Nonon when she was moving schools. Thatâs the exact opposite of trust.
I swear I donât normally talk about my fanfiction in my essays as much as I have been in these responses, but I explored Satsuki and Nononâs dynamic in a short Satsunon Roman Empire AU. In my piece, Nonon learns that Satsuki is going away by hearing some chatter, and to prove to Satsuki that sheâs worth trusting, she runs to Satsuki before Satsuki leaves, declaring that sheâs coming with no matter what. At the end of the ficâand this is the relevant part hereâSatsuki meets with Nonon again after the world has been saved, and Satsuki finally opens her heart up, noting that she wants Nonon by her side, as a friend and equal, and sheâs done with being treated as a goddess to be worshipped.
And I think thatâs a big thing youâre touching on here, Anon. Satsuki may have had all these people around her, but many of them considered her to be something more than human. And that is lonely. Itâs difficult to reveal your insecurities and doubts and fears to someone who sees you as a god. After all, theyâre probably not going to listen; they think youâre âaboveâ all that. Satsuki was very much isolated, just like Ryuko.
However, I still disagree with Aikuroâs assertion that Satsuki was âtotally alone,â mainly due to Soroi. Regardless of how long Satsuki took to open up to Soroi, I think she most certainly had trusted him with her heart at least by the events of the series. The moment where the two converse about Soroiâs tea in episode 17 is probably the most telling example within the show itself; Satsuki smiles genuinely for Soroi and even reveals her hidden emotions, readily admitting that she may have been more compassionate in the past.
I canât definitively say how much Satsuki let Shiro or the Elite Four in, but Soroi? There is complete and total trust here. And while I dislike comparing Soroi to Senketsu because I feel this too easily lends itself to the interpretation that Senketsu is a father figure to Ryuko (which is my absolute least favorite reading of Kill la Kill and one that I consider to be a complete and total misreading of the text #PleaseStopSenketsuIsRyukoâsDadTheories2k19), I do have to admit that Soroi is, for the majority of the anime, the one person whom Satsuki seems to truly be herself with, just as Senketsu is for Ryuko.Â
Concerning the episode 17 scene mentioned above, I think itâs also pretty telling that Satsukiâs moment with Soroi occurs just after an intimate conversation between Ryuko and Senketsu that the script even emphasizes as a heart-to-heart that Ryuko deliberately wanted to have with Senketsu and Senketsu alone. Sure, Iâve argued in the past that the real connection between the scenes comes from Ryukoâs later chat with Aikuro and the fact that both Aikuro and Satsuki are discussing Soichiro/Isshin, but itâs also true that both Ryuko and Satsuki have very vulnerable, humanizing moments here. Soroi knows Satsukiâs heart, and she reveals it to him, just as Ryuko (quite literally!) shares her heart with Senketsu.
Of course, I think itâs clear that Ryukoâs relationship with Senketsu is one among peers while Soroi takes on a fatherly role for Satsuki in the place of Soichiro, but Soroi is still someone whom Satsuki trusts with her whole heart and soul. As pointed out, it may very well be true that Satsuki didnât have that kind of trust in Soroi immediately, but I figure it canât have taken too terribly long for the relationship between them to become close. After all, as noted in the aforementioned episode 17 scene, even young Satsuki smiled for Soroi when she had stopped smiling at school. Satsuki wasnât being genuine, yes, but she was still breaking her hard guise for Soroi, and 18-year-old Satsuki is even surprised that she wasnât honest back then, implying that she feels theyâve been as close as they are since practically the beginning.
I know this got terribly long, but I donât at all disagree that Satsuki had also been subjected to an isolating situation. It is lonesome to feel, as outlined in an early advertisement introducing Satsukiâs character, that âhumans are clothes-wearing pigsâ whom she must âdominate,â ârule over,â and âdestroy,â all while ârelying on no one.â It is awful to believe that you have to do everything all alone, without sharing your true self with anyone.
And itâs sad, too! Satsukiâs struggles to truly trust others lead her to inadvertently hurt the people she cares about, and thereâs something especially tragic about how Satsuki used and manipulated her own sisterâwhom Satsuki was fighting for all along!ârather than tell the girl the truth and trust her. As Iâve written in the past, âWhile Satsuki is not truly against Ryuko, her plan prevents them from being close. The thought of Satsuki fills Ryuko with hatred⌠when they could have been allies and friends. Satsukiâs tired, sad frown as Ryuko returns to normal [after going berserk in episode 12], juxtaposed with the Mankanshoku familyâs shock and Nuiâs bemusement, does well in hinting that maybe Satsuki wishes she had Makoâs power herself⌠and sheâs sorry that she doesnât.â
But more than all this, even Ryuko points out how alone Satsuki is after fighting Satsuki to a draw in episode 15. Ryuko only gets as far as she does by putting her complete and utter faith in Senketsuâand notably here, she follows through with his strategy even without knowing exactly what he intends to doâand she recognizes that Satsuki⌠doesnât bond like that.
In pushing a point like this, I think the show definitely wants viewers to notice that Satsuki is stuck in a hard, isolating situation where she feels she canât entrust her heart to anyone.
But I think the show also wants viewers to notice that Satsuki is more than capable of loving and trusting in the same way that Ryuko does. Ryuko doesnât have a clue about someone like Soroi when she accuses Satsuki of being by herself, and as Iâve emphasized all throughout this monster of a post, I wholeheartedly believe that at least Soroi had fully earned Satsukiâs trust, even if it took a moment. Satsuki just about always had someone she felt safe with, whereas Ryuko⌠lost all that when her father abandoned her and didnât find it again until she met the Mankanshokus and Senketsu. Thereâs a reason that one of Ryukoâs defining features is her loneliness, pointed out in her character introduction with the line, âEver since I could remember, I was alone,â in her (and Senketsuâs) theme song âBefore my body is dryâ with lines like, âBut Iâm all alone,â and, âDonât wanna be all alone,â in her fantasy world in episodes 20-21, and even by the cast, such as when the Mankanshokus note that Ryuko has to be super lonely to talk to her clothes or when even Ragyo tells Satsuki to go join her âlonely little sisterâ in death.
Ryuko gets a lot of heat for not being as strong as Satsuki upon learning her true origins, but I argue that you canât really blame her. Even if Satsuki closed off her heart to most people, she undoubtedly grew up with a support system that Ryuko did not have until practically adulthood. Satsuki manages to keep her head up and carry on not only because of her immeasurable resolve and ambition, but also because she has a lifetime of love and support. Satsuki is not as alone as Ryuko claims (and Iâd really like the Satsuki-centric Kill la Kill the Game: IF to elaborate on Ryuko understanding as much), and I feel that Soroi is genuinely an unsung hero of Kill la Kill. Could Satsuki have been nearly as strong without his influence?
I guess this is maybe a bit off topic, though.
In any case, I definitely agree that Satsuki struggled to open her heart to others, and I definitely agree that this is a hard, sad, awful place to be in. Part of what makes Satsukiâs team-up with Senketsu near the end of the series so sweet to me is that it is here that Satsuki really begins to open up. She doesnât look down on Senketsu, she acknowledges his feelings, and in a cut moment from the script, she even outright tells him to wear her, thereby fully and completely trusting him to work with her and save Ryuko. Senketsu noting that his and Satsukiâs âhearts are as oneâ in episode 21 is one of the most heartwarming things in the entire anime when you consider everything that Satsuki has gone through. Sheâs been afraid to trust and afraid to show her true self to anyone, and yet⌠to save her sister, she opens up her heart to someone she had once considered evil and incapable of love.
And after this? Satsuki, despite saying in her introduction that she will be âbowing down to no one,â bows down to Ryuko.
And she smiles openly.
She laughs.
Satsuki was absolutely stuck in this lonesome, isolating position. But just like Ryuko, she gets out of itâand just like Ryuko, itâs so incredibly, incredibly sweet that she does.
#kill la kill#satsuki kiryuin#mitsuzo soroi#ryuko matoi#isshin matoi#soichiro kiryuin#senketsu#Anonymous#replies#ramblings#klk meta#gifs i made#whoops sorry this got way more out of hand than i expected ^^;#also dang i never realized how many 's'-names are in this show
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Golden (Chapter Four)
Hi friends! I probs sound like a broken record when I say this, but thank you so much to all those who have liked and reblogged these post and given kudos! And a SUPER HUGE thank you to those whoâve commented! Iâve gotten some people who want to be tagged in this, so Iâve started a tag list! If you want to be tagged, just let me know and Iâll add you. Thanks again loves!
P.S.: This is a secondary blog, so whenever I reply to comments on here itâll pop up as coming from my main one (@galvanator). Iâm not really sure how to adjust it and tumblrâs FAQ is, at best, unhelpful. Iâm a technologically challenged millennial, so, from the bottom of my heart, my bad.Â
You can also read this on AO3!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |
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I had turned in my paper the following day and had been about to avoid going into his office. Mrs. Peters made some comment of how it was âgood Mr. Laufeyson finally had a student to challenge him,â but Iâd mostly ignored her. After that, I really hadnât had much to deal with him. I did the readings, took the quizzes, and kept my distance. It did make my heart soar just a tiny bit, when I got my paper back with a large 99 written at the top, and a note that read âAlways room for improvement, but it is nearing perfectionâ. I wanted to forget about everything that had happened prior to us in class, but it was so difficult. More than once, a tall, dark, black-haired stranger invade my dreams and filled me with a lust my hand couldnât provide for my body. I wanted to forget how his skin felt against me, about how perfectly our bodies collided, but my mind didnât let me.Â
Professor Laufeysonâs class would have most certainly been my favorite if we hadnât met previously. He was so articulate and well-informed; he made myself and every student get caught up in every word. It didnât hurt that he looked the way he did. His wardrobe consisted solely of clothing that fit him to perfection. His tall frame was seemingly thin, but he was so strong and hard. I really couldnât blame any of the other women who had a crush on him; after all, Iâd probably have had one too.Â
I did my best to be as little noticeable in his class as possible; only arrived exactly on time, turned in all that I needed to turn in, and left promptly as class ended. Everything I finished early, I turned into Mrs. Peters, and narrowly avoided seeing Professor Laufeyson whenever I could. I had nearly memorized his schedule so that I wouldnât run into him; unfortunately, that meant running into Professor Jinks quite frequently. His leering eyes always made my skin crawl. I could never quite shake the way Loki had warned me about him on my first day. He usually lost interest in my once I was past him, or another girl with better cleavage walked past. But there were instances in which I wasnât so lucky.Â
âYou know, dear,â Mrs. Peters started, âProfessor Laufeyson will be in shortly. Why donât you just wait for him and you can give your paper in person. You miss him so frequently, Iâm afraid heâs not giving you the proper respect a star pupil like yourself should be given.â A small, hysterical laugh escaped my lips at the irony of her words.Â
âTrust me, Mrs. Peters, Professor Laufeyson is giving me the exact amount of respect I require.â I said. She narrowed her eyes at me, not fully understanding what I meant. Luckily (or unluckily), we were interrupted by the loud, obnoxious voice that could only belong to one man; Professor Jinks.Â
âMy goodness, you come to see Laufeyson so often Iâd say you had a crush on him,â Jinks said while walking over to Mrs. Peters and I. I was stunned into silence, my cheeks immediately turning beat red. As it turns our, Mrs. Peters couldnât stand him either.Â
âProfessor! You really are too much! Mrs. Alavan is here for academic purposes only. Something you should strive to do as well,â Her condescending tone made me feel a bit better. Jinks merely rolled his eyes, and leaned against the counter where I was standing, effectively blocking me in.
âYou know if you really wanted to stand out in Laufeysonâs class, I could tutor you. I offer private tutoring sessions to those⌠outstanding students,â Jinkâs smile didnât quite reach his eyes, as they trailed down to my chest.
âI appreciate the offer, but I donât need tutoring,â I said, tugging my books close and crossing my arms across my chest. Jinks scoffed.
âMy tutoring could be of a great service to you; you sure you want to turn that down?â He stepped closer to me and I continued to back up. His intimidating glare made it hard to figure out the right thing to say, so I struggled with words for a moment. But then my savior appeared.
âIf anything, Mrs. Alavan could give you some tutoring lessons,â Loki said, standing across the office. I let out a deep breath I wasnât aware I was holding. Jinks turned to acknowledge Loki, then snapped it back towards me.
âI wouldnât be opposed to that,â Jinks said, finally stepping away. I took my opportunity to quickly walk out of the office, but not without giving Loki a quick nod in thanks. I saw the recognition in his eyes, as well as something elseâŚ
It looked like rage.
Since I couldnât forget, I did the second best thing; avoid. I ended up getting an internship at a publishing company because my classes werenât filling up enough of my time. I worked, and wrote, and refused to go out with Kate. I didnât need her abandoning me again, and I didnât feel like explaining what was so disastrous about last time. Three weeks since Iâd gone to his office, had passed, and I was actively minding my own business. Kate, however, didnât like how filled my schedule was and was growing tired of me refusing to spend time with her.Â
âOh, for godâs sake, Aurelia, its one measly Friday night! Youâre literally the smartest person Iâve ever met, going out for 5 hours isnât going to lower your IQ!â She pleaded through the phone. I sighed deeply, and contemplated just hanging up.Â
âIâve been though this; my work is the most important thing to me. Just because you enjoy going out every night doesnât mean that I do. I like being able to get ahead in my school work, especially since Iâll be starting my internship soon!â I told her. She whined through the phone. âAnd I really donât see how it matters if I go with you or not. Literally every time weâve gone out together, even back in the states, you found a guy within 5 minutes of being in a bar. Youâll just ditch me anyways,â I said.
âThat not true! Well⌠not entirely. Last time we went you, I very clearly remember you winding up with a handsome stranger who, quite literally, fucked you into oblivion,â She said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. I cringed, my mind flashing back to that night. âI know youâve thrown yourself into your work to avoid thinking about him, but I have a much better idea than that,â She taunted.
âContinueâŚâ I egged her on. At this point Iâd accept nearly any opportunity to get my mind off Loki.
âCome out with me tonight and find a new guy! The best way to get over a man is to be reminded that there are so many others to choose from! If youâre able to find another handsome stranger to rock your world tonight, I guarantee that youâll forget all about Mr. Tall, dark, and insatiable,â She taunted. Highly unlikely, but I understood her reasoning. I had been left⌠unfulfilled for a month now. It might be nice to fuck my way out of the hole Loki created.Â
âFine,â I heard Kate squeal when I spoke, âBUT, we canât go to the same place. I donât want to run into him once more.â
âOh, Iâm way ahead of you. Theres a bar a few block away from there, thatâs a little more catered to students. Iâm sure youâll be able to find exactly what you need there,â She insisted.
I smiled to myself. This is a good thing; in a few hours, Loki will be old news.Â
-
A slight knock on the door alerted Loki that there was a presence in his doorway. He looked up from his papers seeing Jinks in the doorway with an evil glint in his eyes. Loki checked his watch, seeing that it was just past 5:30.Â
âPlans tonight, Laufeyson?â He asked.
âNot currently. Iâd imagine youâre here to change that,â Loki said, leaning back in his seat. Jinks came in, looking around at some of the loose papers on the usually pristine desk.
âA couple of us are going out to celebrate the first month ending. Youâll join us, wonât you?â Jinks framed his words as a question, but Loki knew he wasnât working his way out of this one.Â
But, he had to at least give it a shot.
âThe end of the first month means the beginning of exam season. I need to prepare a bit. Iâm not sure its the right time to be going out,â He countered.Â
âOh, come on!â Jinks said, not persuaded by Lokiâs words. âYouâre the most prepared lad in all of Great Britain, surely you can afford one night of fun? All of the fun ones are going, even Candice from history, and sheâs always had eyes for youâŚâ Jinks leered. Gross, Loki thought, Candice had eyes for anything with a pulse. Loki huffed for a moment, trying to think of a good excuse before something dawned on him.
âWhere would we be going?â He asked Jinks. He seemed to light up at the question, sensing he was getting closer to his goal.
âSullivans, uptown. Youâve been there?â Jinks askâs Loki. The name was familiar, but what really mattered is that it wasnât where heâd met Aurelia. The chance of him running into her again would have prompted a much harsher rejection.
âFine, but Iâve got to go home to change,â He said, standing up to put on his coat. Jinks slapped his hands together.
âFantastic! I send you the address and you can meet us there. This will be fun! Even us esteemed professors need a night for ourselves,â He leered in the door way, with a facial expression Loki could only describe as disturbing.
Loki quickly made for his house, not really needing to change clothes, he just wanted a minute to himself. Thinking of Aurelia always threw him off, and he needed a minute to shake the thoughts out of her. But his idea to go home to get her out of his mind probably wasnât the best plan of action. Heâd washed his sheets 4 times since she was there, but every night, without fail, heâd swear he smelled her scent. It was engrained in his head; her smell, her eyes, how sheâd exhaled when heâd touch her, like she was burning without his touch. It was too much to forget; not that Loki had done a good job of attempting that. Heâd look at other women, and instantly compare her to Aurelia. Heâd accidentally brush against a girl and sensed how different her warmth was from Aurelia. Everything reminded him of her, and it was eating at him. Her tiny, black-lace underwear were hidden in the pages of a hollowed out book he use to store sweets in as a child. They were a sweet in their own right, just a different context behind it.
Loki had built up a catalogue of things he regretted in his life, but the morning he left Aurelia was the one that stood out most. He hadnât been able to sleep, but rather, watched her intently after their night together. Her dark hair fanned out across the pillow, her sweet lips parted slightly, how her hand was so tightly gripped with his; all of these thoughts were burned into his mind. It wasnât until the early morning he was able even to look away from her. He didnât have a huge stock in his kitchen, so he didnât think there would be any harm in stepping out for a few minutes to go pick something up. It was only when he returned to his empty house, her scent already infused in his entryway, he realized what a mistake heâd made. That evening heâd even gone back to the same bar to see if he could find her, but after no sightings and three over-zealous women, heâd left.
Loki didnât want to feel this way; he hadnât even wanted to go home with somebody that night. But when he caught her gaze, something drew him in. It was like a rubber band pulled him to her until the collided, making an irreversible mark in his heart. That same rubber band that pulled them together, snapped from the tension and hit him right in the face the day he saw her in class. She was looking down, obviously panicking, but her unmistakable tendrils of hair had given her away. To every other student, he was just taking stock of who was in his class, but the slight clinching of his fist and deep swallow in his throat almost gave him away.Â
He knew when he saw Aurelia in class that whatever pull he was experiencing was would need to be squandered, but it wasnât completely gone. Despite him not wanting to go out, Loki couldnât help but think this was a good way to finally remove whatever tug Aurelia had on him.
-
My short, velvet skirt didnât provide a ton of warmth for my legs as the cool wind hit my body. London is such a beautiful place, but its temperature left a lot for a native-Floridan to be desired. Kate walked briskly, her long legs forcing my short ones to nearly run. I looked around at the people standing near the bar and noticed, pleasantly, that this crowd was much more college-friendly. Despite her promising not to abandon me again (I made her recite the mantra âI will not abandon youâ in the cab over here), we werenât two steps inside until she saw someone familiar and ran to the other side of the bar. Great.
I found myself in an uneasy and familiar situation one again and vowed to myself that this was the last time I accompanied Kate to a bar. I noticed some girls that I vaguely recognized in a few of my classes by the bar, and decided that standing near them was better than standing on the wall by myself. Another girl who was in a situation similar to myself, was also seated at the bar, and looked at me curiously when I ordered a drink.
âYouâre in Professor Laufeysonâs class too, arenât you?â She asked, slurring a bit. I nodded my head, taking my drink from the bartender. She stuck out her hand and I shook it.
âDaisy McGee,â She said.
âAurelia Alavan,â I told her.Â
âWhere are you from?â She asked, clearly recognizing my accent.Â
âNear Miami, but I go to school at NYU. Iâm just doing a semester over here,â I explained. She nodded. âWhat about you?â I asked.
âNear Dublin. Got a nice scholarship to come over here, soâŚâ She shrugged her shoulders and I laughed a bit. âHow are you doing in his class?â She asked.
âNot bad; heâs a little stingy on grades though. Gave me a 99 on the first paper because thereâs âalways room for improvementâ.â I told her. She looked at me with wide eyes.
âYouâre actually able to pay attention? Good god, more power to you. Every time he opens his mouth all I want to do confess my love to him,â She said, resting her head on her hand and looking away from me. I laugh a little bit; partially out of her words, partially out of how ridiculous the situation was. âEven now, there are plenty of eligible bachelors here, but I can only focus on himâŚâ She said, sighing. I looked at her confused.
âWhat do you mean?â I asked. She pointed into the direction she was looking, and lo-and-behold, Loki was there. His sharp facial features pressed into a stoic expression while he watched the man Iâd come to know as Jinks. Jinks was clearly drunk and hanging on the arm of a fake-looking woman, but Loki seemed to be unimpressed. I, on the other hand, was fuming. âWould it ease your worries if I told you that I donât often do this as well?â his voice rang so clear in my mind from that night. I believed him! Even after everything, I believed that this wasnât a normal occurrence and that he wasnât some mid-thirties perv who uses his prowess to influence young women.Â
I felt stupid, humiliated, and entirely heart-broken. There was something very comforting about the fact that I was the exception, and now⌠I felt tears clouding my eyes and my skin burn bright red. Daisy had said something to me, but I was too wrapped up in my furry to notice. It wasnât until his bight blue eyes cast themselves in my direction, that I felt my body unfreeze. His expression faltered only slightly, but his eyes didnât leave mine, and I didnât have the heart to turn away. Finally, I was able to hear over the blood pounding in my ears to see what Daisy had to say.
âThose eyes could peer into my soul. Isnât he charming?â She said.
âYeah,â I hopped off the stool, grabbing my bag, âA real charming son-of-a-bitch.â Maybe if Loki hadnât been captivating her, she would have noticed me stomping off, but thankfully she was too enamored with looking at him. I tried to navigate my way through the still-growing crowd, but a large, pale hand grabbed my waist and began pulling me in a different direction. I turned back to yell at whoever it was, but when I saw his face, my voice fell silent. He gripped me a little tighter when I stopped fighting him, and very delicately pulled me through a door near the back. The cold air of the outside hit my over-heated skin like a ton of bricks. I turned to face the wall to collect my thoughts and make sure we were alone before tearing into him.
âAurelia,â he started, but I cut him off.
âHow dare you! How dare you tell me you donât do this often! Youâre even worse than that Jinks character; at least he has the decency to wear his creepiness on his sleeve. You hide behind that cool exterior and pretend to be one of the good guys, but all you really are is some sleaze!â I huffed. My fist were balled up at my sides and I was stomping around, trying not to look directly at Loki. His firm hands grasped my shoulders, forcing me to stop and take a breath. His eyes were wide and his mouth was set in a firm line. âWhat!â I yelled at him.Â
âJinks made me come; I didnât want to. And the only reason I allowed him to choose this place is because I couldnât risk seeing you again at the other bar. I donât come here, not to places with students. I would never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, you must know that,â His piercing blue eyes bore directly into mine.
âYou⌠came here to avoid me? HaâŚâ I said, somewhat hysterically. âI came here to avoid you,â He finally let me go and I slacked against the brick wall.Â
âWe really are a pair, arenât we?â He breathed, mimicking my actions. I slid against the wall until I was seated on the ground, and he followed me as well.Â
âWhy canât we seem to stay away from each other?â I asked. I didnât know if I was asking him, or just the universe in general.Â
âMaybe we shouldnâtâŚâ His voice was barely above a whisper, but it rang in my ears.
âNoâŚâ I got up and started pacing again, trying to hold back tears and not let him see the oneâs that had already fallen. âYou canât say that to me! You hurt me so much; letting me wake up alone like that! I thought it would be easy to just have fun and not get attached, but you woke something in me that just wonât go away now! You left me, Loki, youâre the one-â
âI didnât leave you!â He yelled. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him. He stalked over to me and gently slid on large hand on my cheek. âI didnât leave you, not like that. I wenât to get breakfast and when I came back, you were gone. I figured you didnât feel what I felt that night and just left. I wanted to come back and ravish you for the rest of the day and take you on a proper date that night, but you were gone! I didnât want you to go, I never would have left if I thought youâd taken it as a sign to leave,â his usually strong voice was pleading and soft.Â
I didnât mean to, but I couldnât resist gently pressing my lips to his. He felt so cool and soft, making my beat red skin tingle at the contact. It was a gentle, momentary kiss, but it felt like hours. When I realized what Iâd done, I tensed up and quickly broke away. His eyes were closed, and his lips were slightly parted, and he slowly opened up his eyes to me.Â
âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have done-â His lips were back on mine, but this time it was feverish. His mouth was hungrily devouring mine, while his hands went to grip me too him. I clawed back at him, pulling him as close to me as possible. He pushed us against a wall and hiked up my leg around his hip. His tongue dove into my mouth and tangled with mine. My arms wrapped around his neck and my hands played with his soft hair. After a while of an intense make out session, he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine, catching his breath.Â
âGive me one more night with you⌠pleaseâ He said quietly, letting his warm breath fan across my face.
âYes.â
-
Forewarning for the next chapter... prepare for Da Smutâ˘.
Tag List:
@thevixeniris @lovinghiddlestom
#Loki#Loki Laufeyson#Loki Odinson#Loki x OFC#Loki x reader#Loki x OC#Loki Fanfiction#Loki fanfic#loki (marvel)#Tom Hiddleston#Loki Imagine#Golden#Chapter Four
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