#ARGGHHHH THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

[rathma]

tagged by @bg3 for truly the most classic tumblr tag game possible so here i go

i shan't tag anyone directly but if u r my mutual and u want to share consider urself tagged

favorite color: luv shades of gray. theres a specific sort of medium blue-toned gray like the sky turns before it storms that makes me crazy. you know how it is. when i was in high school i told my therapist my favorite color was gray and she made a face like i admitted to a murder

last song: snakeskin by rina sawayama....... listen to the kaine playlist btw

last movie: tbh i cant remember dsjkdsnjksd the last one that comes to mind is near dark (1987) ..... severen my boyfriend severen<33

currently watching: argghhhh man i dont REMEMBER..... i havent watched a lot recently :( me and my roommate are in the middle of crystal methyd's season of drag race and i'm planning a stranger things rewatch but i have to make room in my brain first

currently reading: rereading six crimson cranes by elizabeth lim! i got my hands on its sequel, the dragon's promise, so that's in the works. it makes me so crazy i love it so much. also constantly rereading the inkworld trilogy

current obsession: have you heard about gale my husband gale of waterdeep he's a wizard he's from waterdeep he's very powerful and he has beautiful brown eyes and he's friends with a tressym named tara and he's my most favoritest guy. in all seriousness though as much as i'm critical of it i have to thank bg3 for giving me something new to do with kaine, who is my oldest oc and my very dear friend. they're a major catalyst of the everything in my home dnd game, and having another lens to examine them through has been very helpful in writing them for our campaign. i could talk about them at length but i'll spare you (for now)

sweet, savory, or spicy?: my instinct says spicyyyy but tbh it varies. shoutout gochujang tho i put that shit in everything

currently working on: i constantly have about three to six canvasses rotating in clip studio that are always my ocs - usually sketch pages, but sometimes big stuff. rn i have a page for etienne, one for the warhawk, one for kaine, a larger kaine piece that i may or may not render later, and one surprise tool thatll help us later (it's kainegale, to no one's surprise). i'm ALSO finally finally working on the continuations of kainefic. first up is a collection of drabbles/oneshots/whatever you wanna call them to tie the larger parts of the main story together, and then i'm gonna work on a bit of a multichapter epilogue piece :) they have two separate weddings and kaine gets to go back to their home country (which has been conveniently missing its sovereign heir for quite some time)

ty for tagging me fray i love to talk about myself

oh also

[marastriker]

🎀and🎨? :3

🎀 london style costumes or broadway style costumes?

Argghhhh i have a soft spot for the London costumes. London Bomba is so gorgeous, I'm in love with the bright red. The American costumes are really good and really creative but there's not enough bright beautiful colors imo.

🎨 brightly coloured costumes or realistically coloured costumes?

BRIGHTLY 👏 COLORED 👏 average person who has seen cats once needs as much distinction as possible to be able to name all these bitches

[suffarustuffaru]

ARGGHHHH this is so good i keep rereading it over and over again T^TTT i think it's so beautiful it had me crying a bit irl <333 forever thinking about these two and how they are the same but julius is always in reinhard's shadow...... "I'm happy you can't taste it and I'm sad you won't try" "god to man / man to god" "we speak as equals when we are not / keep pretending that we are" the implications that reinhard knows theyre not equals... that he focuses on how they speak as equals..... but julius begs to keep pretending they are..... MAN. IM INSANE OVER THEM YOU CAPTURED THEM PERFECTLY (as ive already said in all my feverishly written typing-through-tears dms to you <3)

anyway!! please go commission robin if youd like (i am of course very satisfied with my own commission here)!! their commission info is on their blog <3

"If you were the sun, I’d be a sputtering flame: made of the same, but you’re so much more than I

I’m a beautiful thing, or so you think, until you see that I’m only reflecting your light

I greet you with venom on my lips and you never seem to get close enough to taste it; and I’m happy you can’t taste it and I’m sad that you won’t try

I wish I could hold you closer than I can, but when I do, you burn my hands, you burn my lungs, you burn my eyes

When we first met, you blinded me and your image was forever scorched into the back of my mind

The closer I get, the hotter it burns, and the deeper that image carves into me, and I carve myself in turn

Like carving marble piece by piece until it takes the perfect shape; but marble cannot move the way you can

And god to man, we speak as equals when we are not

And man to god I beg you, keep pretending that we are."

commission for @suffarustuffaru who requested a 9-line freeform poem about reinhard and julius's dynamic, and i could not be happier to do this for them because i love those two sm

[hedgeytheswitch]

Fuck COVID

I need to get back into my sessions. So many guys who wanna meet up and have sessions and I wanna tickle them all so bad and be tickled by them until I’m screaming hysterically or until they are 😏 god I miss feeling soft beautiful tummies and kissing them 😫 licking up the arches of a foot as I hear them say “ohhh mmnnhghhuhh Raisy that feels so good” I wanna see those evil smiles as I get babied and have my tummy worshipped with soft warm kisses 😚 and a few beard raspberries thrown in.....just the chance to see a dear friend dance in front of me 🥰😍 waiting for his permission to tickle his tummy. I miss it all so much I can’t take the waiting much longer! So many switches just waiting for me to play with themmmm ARGGHHHH 😬🤬😡😤

[goldenxsunshine]

Elisaaaa, I've read your tags under that post about relationship advice and I feel you lol also thank you for the cute thing you wrote about me 🤧 you're sweet af. Lots of love 💞

glad to hear that i’m not the only one agdjsg, it’s quite frustrating tho isnt it ? i just want them to be happy and i know it’s hurting them and i’m just like ARGGHHHH and it makes me want to scream afshsg, but also as mentioned idk what it’s like so who knows, maybe i’d do the same? and of course!! you’re a beautiful person, i amy have not seen your face but who cares, i know you’re wonderful and i won’t let you believe otherwise!! love you darling ✨🤍

[lovingmybaealways]

9: A Big Misunderstanding

Young-Bae:

Young-Bae was so frustrated and upset in the cab ride back to the dorms.  He couldn’t understand why you got so upset about keeping the relationship secret.  It was only for now, not forever.  He just had to talk with his boss Yang and the band first and explain that he wanted to go public.  He owed them that much as they would have to manage whatever craziness may happen.   He also had to prepare that the fans may go nuts that he had a girlfriend, and may even attack you in public let alone online.

When he reached the dorms, he walked into the living room.  All the boys were awake and eating ramen around the tv.

“Hey! Look at who got lucky and stayed out ALL NIGHT!” yells Seung-hyun.

“Did you have FUN?” asks Daesung with a big smile.

“Did you use ALL the condoms I put in your pocket last night?” heckles Seungri.

Ji-yong just looks up at Young-Bae and tilts his head to the side.  “Are you okay?” he asks quietly. “Why do you look so upset? Is something wrong?”

“Argghhhh” explodes Young-Bae. “I don’t know what is going through her head! She freaked out and kicked me out this morning when I said we need to keep the relationship a secret for now.  Fuck!  She wouldn’t even. listen to what I had to say!  She said that she doesn’t ever want to see me again!”

The boys were all silent for a moment and looked at him with concern.  Young-Bae had never been one to fuss over a girl and normally he just laughs everything off.  The fact that he was so upset over one girl was shocking.

Ji-yong asked the question everyone was thinking “Do you really like her? Is it just a fling or is it something more?”

“Of course it is something more!  I wanted to date her with the intention of marriage!  You know how I feel about casual dating!” exclaims Young-Bae.

The boys understood all too well.  Young-Bae was quite religious and the fact that he actually spent the night with a girl was a bit hard to believe.  They knew that he was waiting for the one girl he could spend the rest of his life with, so the fact that he was so hung up on Honey meant that maybe she really was his soulmate.

“Well, didn’t she just come from Canada or the US?  I think they are much more open with their relationships over there.  I mean look at all the Hollywood stars.  They can date, sleep or marry whoever they want, whenever they want.  They don’t have the same restrictions as us.  So maybe she doesn’t know or doesn’t understand?” asks Ji-yong.

Seungri pipes up “Yes that's true.  I remember speaking to Kris at a party once and he said it is very strange here that some contracts state that idols can’t date.  He's had some flings with girls in high school.  High school!!  And you can't believe the games they play at parties!! Something about spinning a bottle to kiss random people, and being locked in a closet to do whatever they want within a number of minutes. ..”

Seung-hyun looks seriously at Young-Bae and says “If you really think she is the one, you can’t give up. You need to go back and convince her somehow.  Apologize to her and try to explain the way things are done here in Korea.  It may take time and maybe you just have to take it slow until she believes you.  You need to stay strong.”

Daesung just shakes his head and pats Young-Bae sympathetically on this shoulder.  “Good luck.”

“Kamsamnida guys.  I know what I need to do now.”  Young-Bae heads to his room to think.  He decides to write a love letter to show his feelings, get washed up, changed and go back to the hotel so that he could explain it all to you and make you understand.

*     *     *    *     *     *     *

Back at the hotel...

I had cried so much that my eyes were swollen.  I wet a washcloth with cold water and place it over my eyes as I lay on the couch.  I couldn’t believe that I believed him when he said the he wanted to have a long-term relationship.  What kind of relationship was it if all we could do was sit in a hotel room.  Hah!  He just meant that we could just have sex!  All men are jerks!

I thought resolutely to myself  'I’m a strong woman.  I’ve put myself through school, and made the decision to move away from Canada to Korea.  I was on an adventure on my own when I started so I will continue on this adventure as scheduled.'  As I’ve always been an optimistic person, I managed to talk myself into looking at the brighter side of things.

So I decide to stop hiding in my hotel room and to go out and explore since the weather was so nice. I spent extra time putting on make-up, trying to hide my puffy eyes and lack of sleep, and decide to leave my waist-long hair down as it might help hide how tired I look.  I get dressed, grab my over-sized Versace sunglasses and handbag and headed out.

As I walk through the hotel lobby, I walk past a group of guys in their twenties but after what happened last night, I didn’t want to do anything with the males species for awhile so I looked straight ahead and kept going.  I had only taken about 5 steps out of the hotel when I was grabbed and hugged from behind, and I feel a head land on my shoulder and breathing in my ear.

Thinking it was Young-Bae trying to catch me, I exasperatedly say “Young...” but before I could finish speaking, I was cut off.

“Honey!  My Honey bunny!  You came to Korea to visit me?  Why didn’t you let me know ahead of time?  I would’ve picked you up from the airport!” scolded a familiar voice.

I turn my head to look and see my best guy friend’s smiling face on my shoulder.  I laugh and kiss the tip of his nose.  “It was a supposed to be a surprise!  You sure know how to ruin all my plans!”

"I've missed you sooo much Honey bunny!  Did you miss me?"

"Always!  Every minute of every day!" I tease.

Kris hugs me tighter and lets go.  He takes a step back, holds his right elbow with his left, and places his right hand on his cheek and looks at me with his head tilted.  He nods and says “You are still the most beautiful girl I know and love.  Do you love me?”

“Of course!  I love you as you are my most precious Kris!” I laugh as I play around with him. It was like old times when our older cousins would gang up on us two and we would support each other emotionally.

“How much do you love me?” he asks.

“This much” I say as I hold my thumb and index finger about an inch apart.

“What?!”  pouts Kris. “But I LOVE you THIS MUCH!” And he opens his arms way wide apart.

“Hmmm” I pretend to think, tapping my finger on my lip.

Kris makes a heart-shape with his hands and blinks at me cutely.

“Oh I guess I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH!!” I say with a laugh as I extend my arms as far as they could go.

“Come here and gimme my hug!” Kris exclaims as he picks me up in his arms and twirls in around and around.  I laugh and tell him to put me down.

Once he stops, I have to hang onto to him as my head is spinning.  “Kris, you’ve made me all dizzy!”

Kris bends down, puts one hand on either side of my face and looks at me.  “I’m sorry sweetie.  I was just too excited to see you.  Are you okay?  I better get you back inside.”  He kisses my forehead, wraps an arm around my shoulder to direct me back into the hotel.

"I'm starving Kris.  Can we go get something to eat?"

"Anything you want sweetie.  What do you want to eat?" Kris says as we turn to walk down the street, with his arm still around my shoulder.

*     *     *    *     *     *     *

Young-bae:

In the meantime, Young-Bae had arrived and saw you leaving the hotel. He thought you looked so sweet yet sexy in your pink dress and was walking swiftly to talk to you when he saw a guy run out hug you from behind and lean on you.

Young-Bae was about to rush up to punch the guy for daring to touch you when he saw you turn and kiss the guy's nose.  This stopped him in his tracks.  Who was this guy?

He decides to wait until your conversation was done so he could talk privately without an audience. He takes a step over to stand behind a tree so that he wasn’t so visible.  He hated spying but didn’t want to cause a scene as you were both out in public.

He heard your entire conversation about how you had come to Korea to surprise this jerk and how much you love each other.  It was obvious that you knew each other well since you were both so affectionate and comfortable with each other.  

Young-bae's fists clenched as he watched you two walk down the street with the guy's arm still around your shoulder.  What was your relationship with him? Why were you two so intimate?

Young-Bae felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.  He was so sure you felt the same way last night when you were together.  You seemed to really like him,and were of the same mindset that you wanted to be together.  Wasn't that why you were so upset this morning because you couldn't go public?  Or was it just a ploy to make him seem like the bad guy so you had an excuse not to be with him? Was he just a boy toy to be played with until you could be with your real boyfriend?

Young-Bae wanted to punch something or someone so badly.  He was angry and sad and couldn't stop shaking.  At least he had enough control not to go after you and the guy -- at least not right now.  He hails a cab and leaves before he could change his mind.

[pennamenotplanned-blog]

The first eleven days of Camp NaNoWriMo

... and too many things that kept me from sticking to schedule (like not having a laptop and writing on the phone is kinda shite. Oh, excuse the language ^^). Damnit. Still. It should get better now... hopefully...

1/07

Antwerpen. Family time apparently. I have found that Liege Waffles are a beautiful thing. And i love decor shops. Otherwise little time on the phone. Sad, I know.

2/07

Packing bags, Checking out of hotel, driving, checking in to hotel. Wrote maybe 200 words. Travel days are horrible if the car seat doesn’t have cushioning. Yikes.

3/07

Center Parks are cool. So is the water park there. Meaning: I spend the whole day going on rocket-water slides. The adrenaline is still pumping.

4/07

One word: DISNEYLAND. In Paris. Saw The Avengers Theatre Play. Watched Loki try and steal an Arc Reactor. Knelt because Loki told me to. Still think it was one of the best things that have happened in my life until this moment.

Watched the parade and the fireworks. Write a tiny Disney snippet of about ... 100 words. This day was almost too much.

5/07

Spend the day hanging out in the hotel room and hiding on tumblr. May have written about ... 500 w. That’s fine. Started packing. Holidays with parents are probably the worst idea ever, even if there are some awesome moments.

6/07

Spend the whole bloody day in the car. My seat is horrible. On the bright side: I did churn out some words. Around 800 I think. On a phone that’s always a lot.

7/07

Remembered that I forgot to update my camp nano profile almost completely. Oops. Slept pretty much the whole day... did I write this phase of being awake? ... I don’t know. I don’t remember.

8/07

Need to unpack. Room is a mess. Wrote some 700 words so I’m good. Need to process holiday and Loki. I’m not fit for social contact. Good thing Camp NaNoWriMo can be done in silence in own room. Tumblr is fine though.

9/07

Help! Accidentally got into the Percy Jackson fandom again! Help!!!! ... wrote maybe 150 w. Damn you books of my childhood. And Jake Abel for being ridiculously gorgeous as Luke... must... not... start... shipping....

10/07

What’s this, what’s this? ... it’s a Percy Jackson musical. Oh. Luke is cute. Percy too. ... argghhhh *blubb* help, I’m drowning in the Lukercy ship!!!

*drowns*

*gets sucked down the Lukercy rabbit hole after*

Where am I?

*crash*

Shit, my fingers slipped.

Fanfiction Idea just took form. First chapter written, checked, published.

Wrote 700 words. Just not on what I WANTED to write for Camp NaNoWriMo. Blast it.

11/07

Churned our another 1000 words of Lukercy. Sassy Percy is awfully inspiring.

Gave up on doing only stuff for my original WIPs. Apparently my brain likes Lukercy. A lot. When will you go back to Kara, brain???

[fe-dame]

Argghhhh bridal Louise is so beautiful

So beautiful that I'm going to hell for not trying for her husband (but orbs)

So beautiful that I still have not offered her bow to Leo Leon

WHAT TO DO

[jjyubi]

i’m so glad we got to see younghoon perform on king of masked singer, he did so well i’m so proud of him!!!