#ANYWAY. massive story over i love tag anecdotes

[noramoons]

today was such a good day actually

[freddiesaysalright]

The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 1

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 6k

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @anincurablefangirl​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @rose-writes-prose​, @queenlover05​, @moon-stars-soul​, @danadeacon​, @deacyblues​, @thesundrop​, @cupidben​, @lostlittlenerd​, @delilahmay39​, @mazzellodeaky​, @queenmylovely​, @loveandbeloved29​, @free-pool-trash​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: It’s the first week of dates! This chapter, I’ve inserted pictures and captions for the “talking head” portions of the show.

Warning(s): Mentions of drug use. Mentions of cheating.

Night 1

Week 1 here we go!!!

The guys were all settled around the living room, sipping coffee and chatting casually. There was a bit of an anxious murmur about them as a date card was coming, they just weren’t sure when. A date card meant more time with you, especially if they got a one on one date. Group dates were fun, but they meant competing for your attention. They already had to do that at cocktail parties before rose ceremonies. It wasn’t ideal for quality time with you.

Taron: I really want to see Y/N, but if it’s a group date, I’m hoping my name’s not on the card. I’m holding out that I’ll be the one on one this week. It’s just - I’ve already got a massive crush on this girl. I want to know her more and show her my heart as well. We just won’t have the time on a group date.

Finally, that knock on the door came. Wells jumped up and got the card. He returned to the living room and eagerly opened the envelope. He smiled and a nervous twinge stirred in the men. Which was it?

“Rami,” he began.

Rami held his breath. He didn’t want to celebrate too soon in case it was a group date.

Wells continued. “Joe, Ben, Gwilym, Allen, Richard, Eric, Luke, Kenny, Mike, Wells, and Jordan. Don’t be shy, spill your secrets. Love, Y/N.”

That left Jared, John, John Paul Jones, Taron, and a few other men (Colton, Lincoln, Chad, and Chris) for the potential one on one. Taron crossed his fingers and hoped that this meant it was him. 

“Well, we can’t be too disappointed, guys,” said Joe. “I know it’s a group date but that just means you have to make the time you have with her count.”

They all got up to start getting ready for the date. Joe looked over at Ben, who was combing his hair carefully into place. Joe clapped him on the back.

“You don’t even have to do much, dude, you’re ridiculous,” Joe said.

Ben chuckled. “I need to stand out to her.”

“Yeah, but you’re making the rest of us look like jackasses,” Joe replied.

The group all laughed and then headed out to the limo that would take them to meet you wherever you were waiting for them. As they all clamored in, they began speculating what the date card could mean.

“Maybe she wants us to share something we haven’t shared before,” Richard suggested.

“Yeah, but that could be anything,” Gwilym pointed out. “We’re all still getting to know her.”

“It’s honestly so vague,” Rami said. “How can we even hope to guess?”

They pulled up to a small theater in downtown Los Angeles. You stood outside the door, and the men all cheered once they saw you. Joe rolled down the window and you waved to them as they stopped, laughter on your lips and in your eyes. You were really excited for this date, and for the opportunity for these guys to show more of themselves to you.

“Hey, guys!” you greeted as they exited the car. 

Allen was the first one out and he rushed over to pull you into a hug. He spun you around in his arms and you laughed with joy. The others trailed behind and greeted you more subtly with gentle embraces and cheek kisses.

“I’m so glad you guys made it,” you said. “So, something that’s important to me in finding a partner is laughing together.”

They murmured their agreement back to you.

“Sharing laughter is a really underappreciated form of intimacy,” you said. “As well as - y’know - actual intimacy. They go hand in hand. So what I want you guys to do for me today is think of the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you during sex, write it down in an amusing little anecdote, and then, we’re all going to share them on stage when we’re done.”

“Wait, is there gonna be an audience?” Ben asked.

You nodded. “Uh-huh.”

Ben: This date makes me extremely nervous. I’m quite a private person when it comes to my sex life, and sharing stuff like that - especially with a girl I want to potentially marry - it’s a bit odd.

Joe: Honestly, most of my sexual experiences are funny, so I think I’ve got this one in the bag.

“Are y’all ready to get started?” you asked them.

They all cheered their affirmation and then followed you inside. Once in the theater, they were all given a legal pad and a pen. They scattered throughout the space to begin writing, and you made the rounds, stopping to chat a little with everyone and see how they were doing.

You took a seat beside Gwilym.

“Hey,” you chirped. “How’s it going over here?”

“Hello, beautiful,” he replied. “It’s going alright. I’m quite a romantic so it’s difficult to come up with an example of something funny.”

You smiled at him. “I like that you’re a romantic. But the story doesn’t have to be something super raunchy or anything. Just, anytime you laughed with your partner.”

“Are you sure you want to hear stories of us with other women?” he asked.

“Of course,” you said. “Your past makes you who you are. And that’s just the information I want to know about you.”

“Well, for future reference, you may ask me anything you like,” he said. 

“I think I can drum up a question or two,” you returned. “I’ll leave you to it.”

You continued on to the next man, just checking in. They only had about ten minutes to write their story before the audience would be allowed in. You were really looking forward to this to see what their sense of humor was like, and how well they dealt with discussing things that were awkward. When the time finally came, you sat between Allen and Richard while the audience filled in around you and the men. The first person up was Eric.

Eric told a story about his first time, which was a disaster. It was really good and made you laugh. You snorted when Kenny got up and admitted that his daughter had walked in on him and her mother once. Allen said he once slept with a girl who admitted afterward that she only went home with him because she had a thing for Irish guys after seeing Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You. Everyone had great stories, and your cheeks were already hurting from smiling. Then, Joe got up there.

“I once hooked up with a girl I picked up at a bar,” he began. “Sounds pretty typical. Anyway, we go back to her place, things are getting hot and heavy, and I realize I don’t have a condom. So, she tells me she has some in her bathroom. I find them, rip one open and realize - this girl has glow in the dark condoms.”

You chuckled and waited for him to continue.

“I put one on, and honest to God said to myself ‘It’s like a lightsaber,’” he said. “But the story doesn’t end there. I walked back into her bedroom, swinging my dick back and forth and making the sound effects while I walked toward her.”

You howled at this point, tossing your head back as you laughed.

“The worst part was that she didn’t understand the reference,” he finished. “Needless to say, we only spent the one night together.”

He came off the stage and you dabbed at your eyes. You were grateful for your waterproof mascara.

The rest of the men went, one by one. Gwilym seemed to hesitate in his story and you made a mental note to ask him about it later. All of them had you in stitches by the end. Then came a guy named Luke’s turn. Luke really intrigued you, so you watched him curiously as he stood behind the microphone.

“Hi, everyone,” he began. “I don’t have a story like this, I’m afraid. Because I’m actually a born-again virgin.”

The theater was suddenly thick with discomfort.

“I’ve been saved by my relationship with Jesus, and therefore abstain from sex before marriage.”

Rami: Yeah… Luke made things really weird.

“I am saving my body for one woman,” Luke went on. “That woman who is meant to be my wife. I hope that woman is Y/N.”

You shifted awkwardly in your seat. This was not the direction you were expecting this date to go. No one was laughing anymore and the mood had switched entirely.

“All of you - if you open your hearts to Christ - you can be saved as well,” he continued. “With that grace, you can be truly fulfilled, instead of losing yourselves to temptations. Thank you.”

A painfully unpleasant silence followed. The only sounds were his footsteps as he returned to his seat.

Richard: I sort of wanted to laugh at first. I thought, he’s got to be f***ing joking. But, no, he was serious. Which almost makes it funnier, in a way.

You sprang up from your seat and rushed to the stage, trying to recover the situation. You thanked the audience for listening and the men for sharing. Then you left the theater to prepare for the evening portion of the date.

Back at the house, the remaining men were waiting for the date card. Everyone wanted it to be their own name, but Taron wanted it the most. When Chris Harrison showed up, everyone was on edge as he placed the date card on the coffee table.

“To whoever gets the date,” he said. “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

Jared jumped up and snatched the envelope as Chris left. All eyes were on the former as he broke the seal and removed the card. He looked disappointed, and Taron’s heart leapt. So Jared’s name wasn’t on the card.

“Taron,” Jared read. “Do you believe in magic? Love, Y/N.”

Taron pumped his fist in the air while the other guys congratulated him. He took the card and read over the words, heart racing as he tried to decipher the meaning. What kind of date involved magic? He didn’t think it was a magic show or anything like that. No matter what it was, he was excited.

Back on the date, the sun had gone down and you were joining the men on a rooftop bar that was reserved for all of you. There was a large, wrap around couch where you could all sit. In the center of it was a fire pit, with a warm fire already crackling. You all got your drinks and you took a seat between Luke and Ben.

“Thanks for a very entertaining day, you guys,” you said. “I feel like I already know each of you a little better, and I just want to learn more. Here’s to a great day, and even greater night.”

“Cheers!” they echoed.

You all clinked glasses and you right away felt Luke’s hand on your arm.

“Can I steal you first?” he asked.

“Sure,” you agreed. 

He took your hand and you followed him to a more secluded part of the rooftop. There was a loveseat set up. You took the blanket off the back of it and draped it over your legs.

“So, you said some interesting stuff today,” you said. “I didn’t realize you were so religious.”

“Yeah, it’s the most important thing in my life,” he answered.

“Can you tell me a bit more about that?” you pressed. “Like, how did you become that way or is that just how you were raised?”

“I was raised in the faith,” he told you. “But honestly, I strayed. For a period of about six years, I was completely lost. And those were dark times for me. I was depressed and lonely. I just wanted validation from anywhere I could get it. I became wrapped up in alcohol and sex and anything that made me forget that darkness inside me.”

You were a bit moved by this story. “I’m sorry you went through that.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “Because it was the journey I needed to go on to return to my faith. I came back to church and decided to start over. I was truly saved, in more ways than one.”

“I admire the strength of your conviction,” you said. “I think that’s a really unique story, and I feel like I understand you a little better.”

“I’m glad,” he said.

“But I also want you to understand that I’m not in that place,” you continued. “I’m not very religious, and I don’t believe you have to save yourself for marriage.”

His mouth turned down and he looked away from you for a moment. When he met your gaze again, you saw something like determination in them.

“That’s okay,” he said. “I think we can work through this together.”

“Well, yeah, ultimately, any couple overcomes differences together,” you replied. “I’m glad you’re open minded.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone or anything like that.”

“That’s good to hear,” you said. “Thank you for sharing.”

“Of course.”

He leaned in, opening his arms, and he embraced you. Just as you parted from the hug, Kenny approached and asked for time with you. You left with him, and Luke returned to the rest of the men.

“Well, if it isn’t Pastor Luke,” Joe joked as Luke resumed his seat on the couch. “Coming to grace us heathens with his holy body.”

A snicker went through the group but Luke just rolled his eyes.

“Make fun of it all you want, dude,” he said. “But I know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Don’t start preaching to us again,” Richard said.

“Look, this might be hard for you guys to understand, but I’m on a rescue mission for Y/N,” Luke said. “I’m supposed to save her.”

“From what, exactly?” Gwilym wondered.

“From herself,” Luke answered. “From things that might lead her astray.”

“You mean like us?” Ben pressed.

“It could be,” Luke said. “I just know that I’m right for her.”

“Look, we all think we’re right for her,” Joe chimed in. “It’s only the first week of dates, dude.”

“Don’t be so confident just because you got the First Impression Rose,” Luke argued. 

“I’m not!” Joe insisted. “That’s why I’m saying this. I’m not sure. Nobody’s sure until you get your next rose.”

“Yeah, just cool it, there,” Allen added. “Keep up that talk and you won’t have many friends.”

“Well, I didn’t come here to make friends,” Luke stated. “I came here for my wife.”

“Alright, then,” Ben concluded shortly.

The group returned to uncomfortable silence. Then Gwilym got to his feet and went to find you. He had had quite enough of that conversation and of Luke in general.

You were sitting with Kenny still, and he was showing you pictures of his daughter. She was a precious little girl, with big brown eyes and the most gorgeous natural hair. She resembled Kenny, but had softer, feminine charms. 

“She’s just adorable, Kenny,” you said. 

“If this goes right, I’d love for you to meet her,” he returned.

Your heart melted. “That would mean the world to me.”

He held your gaze a moment before leaning over and kissing you softly. It was tentative and playful, but with a real genuine affection behind it. You liked Kenny very much. You parted, beaming at each other.

At that moment, Gwilym cleared his throat behind you. You turned and beamed at him.

“Hi,” you greeted.

“May I take some of your time, Y/N?” he asked politely.

“Absolutely,” you said. 

You gave Kenny a quick hug before leading Gwilym over to a private table. You sat on a little booth on one side, and you instinctively snuggled up to him. He draped his arm over your shoulders as you rested your head on his chest.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Good,” you said. “I had so much fun today.”

“I’m happy for you,” he returned.

“I have a question for you,” you said, looking up to meet his gaze. “You sort of stopped yourself today during your story. What happened there?”

He cleared his throat and looked away from you, straight ahead. As if seeing something there that you couldn’t. You sat up and looked at his face. There was suddenly such a deep sorrow about him that you grew worried.

“Gwilym?” you asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “It’s just difficult to talk about.”

You took his hand and squeezed it. “Tell me.”

“Well, I was with one woman for about eight years,” he said. “We were actually engaged to be married.”

“You’ve been engaged before?” you asked. 

It seemed like such a stupid question, but you were just surprised.

“Yes,” he said. 

“Go on,” you urged.

“We were going to get married, but it turned out, she was keeping something from me,” he explained. “A heroin addiction. Apparently it had been going on for years without my knowledge.”

You clapped your hand over your mouth as you gasped.

“I’m so sorry, Gwilym…”

He grimaced. “It doesn’t end there.”

“It gets worse?!”

He nodded stiffly. You waited for him to speak, permitting him to take all the time he needed to say it, though your mind was spinning with questions.

“I didn’t know until…” he trailed off, taking a deep breath. “I came home from work one day and found her on the kitchen floor, completely unresponsive. I tried to wake her and called an ambulance, but by the time they arrived, it was too late...she was gone.”

Your eyes swam with tears as you gazed at him. You were truly in awe of his strength. 

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Gwilym,” you said, shaking your head. “That’s...that’s awful.”

“The hardest part is having no answers,” he told you. “I don’t know why or when she actually started using. I don’t know how she was getting it or how she managed to hide it for so long. I was angry at her, and yet, I missed her. But then I felt I didn’t know her at all. It was a lot to process.”

“I’m sure,” you said gently. “I really admire you for taking another chance on love after something so traumatic. I can’t thank you enough for being here.”

“I’m happy to be here,” he said. “I want to start fresh and find my true love. And I’d like to find out if that’s you.”

“I’d like to find that out too.”

He cupped your cheek in his warm hand and tenderly pressed his lips to yours. You kissed this way for several minutes, though years could have gone by and you would not have noticed. You felt so hopeful with Gwilym. Like he was your fresh start too. You couldn’t wait to see where this journey took you with him.

The remainder of the evening went well. The guys were all open and honest with you, and you felt yourself really beginning to build some serious connections. Also, you got at least a few minutes with each of them. There was a group date rose to hand out, and you were sure of who you were going to give it to. You took a seat among them and picked the rose up off the table.

“I had such a great time with all of you today, and this evening,” you said. “But I’m going to give this rose to someone who really showed me a piece of his heart.” You turned to Gwilym. “Gwilym, thank you for being so brave. Will you accept this rose?”

“With every piece of my heart,” he replied, with a dashingly handsome grin.

You both stood, you pinned the rose to his coat, and he kissed your cheek. You faced the group.

“Thank you again for a fabulous night,” you said. “Goodnight, guys.”

You waved as they all bid you goodnight in return. When you were gone, a few of the guys high-fived Gwilym and congratulated him. He looked over and saw Luke scowling into the fire pit. Gwilym walked over and gave Luke a sarcastic pat on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, mate,” Gwilym smirked. “Say a few more prayers next time and maybe you’ll get the rose.”

A resounding “OOHHHH!” went through the group before they headed out to catch their cars back to the mansion.

The next day was your date with Taron. There was a lot that excited you about him. He was fun and bubbly and always managed to make you smile. There was a kindness about him - a gentleness of spirit that made you completely drawn to him. You were picking him up at the mansion, and you had a bit of drive to get to your destination. 

You rolled up in a deep red corvette and honked the horn. 

The men were mostly inside. A group was outside by the pool, catching the people who didn’t go on the date up on what happened and what Luke had said. It seemed to disturb most of the other men there as well. Then they heard the car in the driveway.

You beamed at the guys as they started slowly coming out the front door, looks of shock and a bit of jealousy coming over their faces. Then you opened the door and stepped out onto the pavement. A few of them raced forward to say hello and hug you before you had to go. You shared some laughs and greetings with them.

“Where’s my date?” you wondered.

“TARON!” Joe shouted. “YOU BETTER GET OUT HERE, DUDE!”

You giggled as Taron came out of the house, hopping on one foot as he shoved the other into his shoe. His mouth dropped when he saw you and the car. He put both feet on the ground.

“Is this our date?!” he wondered.

“It gets even better,” you said. “But that’s still a surprise.”

You slid your sunglasses onto your face and strutted over to the passenger side door to open it for him. He chuckled and slid into the seat. 

“Thanks,” he said.

“You’re welcome!” you returned before walking back over to the driver’s side and sliding in next to him. You waved to the guys still standing outside watching you go. “Bye, boys!”

They all waved back as you pulled out of the driveway. You kept one hand on the wheel and the other, you offered to Taron. He took it and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of it.

“It’s lovely to see you,” he said.

“You too,” you replied with the widest smile you’d had all week. “I’m so excited for this date.”

“Are you really not going to tell me where we’re going?” he asked.

“There’s a hint in the glovebox,” you told him. “Something we’ll need while we’re there.”

He released your hand and opened the glovebox. He pulled out the hint.

“Oh, my God!” he gasped. “Mickey Mouse ears?! Are we going to DisneyLand?!”

You nodded. He let out a delighted shout and kissed you hard on the cheek. You giggled as he put his on before putting the Minnie Mouse pair on your head.

“This is the best date ever!” he cried.

“Right?!” you agreed. “Okay, what’s your favorite Disney song?”

“That’s a tough choice…” he said. “A Whole New World, maybe? Any of the love ballads. They’re just great.”

“Aw, you softie!” you teased. “Sing it for me.”

He sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat.

“I can show you the world,” he sang.

Your mouth dropped as he continued.

“Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess - now when did you last let your heart decide?”

“Oh my God, Taron, you can really sing!” you cried, impressed. “Your voice is amazing!”

“Thank you,” he returned bashfully. “I love to sing, actually.”

“You’re very good at it,” you said. “What’s the song you sing the best?”

“Another tough choice,” he said. “Probably… I’m Still Standing by Elton John.”

“I love that song!” you said excitedly. “Sing that one for me!”

He launched into it and you were absolutely delighted. His voice was so sweet, you could have listened to him sing all day.

“Seriously, how have you not auditioned for American Idol or something?” you wondered.

“If I’m being honest, it’s because that lifestyle isn’t really for me,” he said. “I’ve always wanted a simple life. A modest home, a wife I adore, and children, of course. I want to be around for that, and being a singer would mean I spent most of the time away from home.”

Your heart melted at the sentiment. That was exactly the life that you wanted as well. 

“I get that,” you said. “That’s always been what I want too. To have a partner for life and raise a family together.”

You glanced over and caught his eye. You smiled at each other.

It was about an hour and half drive from the mansion to the park, so you got to talk to Taron a lot. Getting to know him was actually pretty easy. He wasn’t shy about answering your questions, which made you feel more open as well. 

Exploring DisneyLand with Taron was like returning to your childhood. He was energetic and eager, practically running from ride to ride. You had to stop him a few times. You paused in front of the castle for a few minutes to catch your breath.

“I feel like I’m seven years old again!” you laughed. 

“Good!” he returned.

He picked you up by the waist and spun you around. You giggled, throwing your arms around his neck and holding him tight. When he slowed to a stop, you held each other’s gaze.

“Now I feel like a princess,” you said quietly.

“Good,” he repeated, lowering his face to yours.

He claimed your lips in a passionate kiss that was anything but child-like. It was deep and slow, but not demanding. You pulled him closer and kissed him harder. Though you had been still for several minutes, your heart raced as if you had run a marathon. He made you feel young and giddy, but also desired. It was exactly the balance you were looking for.

“I’m having so much fun here with you,” he said, breathless as you broke apart.

“Me too,” you told him. “I can’t imagine a more perfect date. Or a more perfect man to spend it with.”

He kissed the tip of your nose sweetly, making you wrinkle it as you laughed.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” you breathed back.

He kissed you lightly.

“Come on,” he said. “We’ve got so much more to do.”

He took your head and led you on. You were beginning to feel the happiest place on Earth was anywhere you were with Taron.

The day at the park was amazing. You had so much fun with Taron. You laughed together, took a few pictures, and you ended up kissing him a lot more after that first one. But, you also wanted to get to know him on a deeper level. To get to the real stuff. The things that made him who he is.

For the evening portion of your date, you were at a little seaside restaurant on Newport Beach. You had the place entirely to yourselves. The dinner set-up was waiting for you as you walked in. Taron pulled your chair out for you and you sat down, thanking him. He took a seat beside you. You picked up your drink.

“To a wonderful day,” you said. “And hopefully many more wonderful days ahead.”

“Cheers, love,” he said.

You touched glasses with a soft clink and each took a sip.

“So,” you began. “I had so much fun with you today. But, I want to know more.”

“What d’you want to know?” he asked.

“Can I ask you why your last relationship ended?”

He paused. Then he swallowed. His mouth turned down at the corners and you wondered if you had crossed a line.

“Course you can,” he said stiffly. “But, it’s kind of a rough story.”

“I can handle it,” you assured him. 

“My last girlfriend and I were together for about three years,” he said. “We lived together and everything. Our relationship ended because she got pregnant.”

Your brow furrowed. “Wait, what?”

“She got pregnant by somebody else,” he explained, a hint of bitterness to his tone.

Your mouth fell open. “Wh - oh my God…”

“Yeah…” he trailed off. “It was a guy I knew, actually. A sort of friend of mine. And when she found out she was pregnant, she confessed everything. She left me because she wanted them to be a family. But, it blew up in her face because he didn’t want anything to do with it.”

You shook your head. “That’s horrible.”

“It is, but then she came back to me, wanting to get back together,” he said.

“Are you serious?!” you gasped.

“Quite,” he said. “And I took her back. I just...I still loved her, and she seemed so sorry. And she had nowhere else to go. We tried to work on the relationship, but things weren’t the same. Then, she miscarried.”

He took a deep breath before going on.

“After that, it quickly became clear that she was using me as a financial crutch because - surprise, surprise - she cheated again,” he said. “I ended it for good and called her parents to come and get her. That was that.”

All the twists and turns of his story had you reeling. You wondered how anyone could be so cruel to someone who was so genuine and kind.

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “How long ago was that?”

“About two years ago,” he told you.

“And you haven’t dated anyone since?” you wondered.

“I’ve dated, but nothing serious ever formed,” he said. “I still want to find that right person for me, y’know?”

You smiled, taking his hand. “I do.”

“And I think I’m heading in the right direction,” he said, holding your gaze.

“I think you are too,” you said.

He leaned over and kissed you gently. When you parted, you reached across the table and picked up the rose that sat on a dish.

“You were so wonderful today,” you said. “We had so much fun at the park, and then tonight was...everything I wanted from you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with me.”

“Thank you for listening,” he replied.

You beamed at him. “So, all that being said. Taron, will you accept this rose?”

“Gladly,” he assured you with a smile.

You grinned impossibly wider as you pinned it on. 

“Come on,” you said. “There’s a surprise for us outside.”

“Another surprise?!”

You giggled and led him to the balcony. He stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder. You looked out over the water. Together, you watched as a firework rocketed into the air and exploded over the inky black sky.

“Woah!” Taron gasped.

The fireworks show began, lighting up the night with the blooms. Then, he turned you to face him and he kissed you again. The way he had in the park. The fireworks were a perfect reflection of your feelings. There was something beyond a spark between you and Taron. You could picture falling in love with him. Marrying him. Sharing a life with him.

When you went to bed that night, you dreamed of fireworks and the feeling of Taron’s arms around you.

You looked forward to the cocktail party the following night. There were so many guys you wanted more time with, though you went in with some idea of who would be getting a rose. There were some men you wanted a bit more from before you could make your decision. So, you were sure the evening would be great.

When you got to the mansion, you made a toast and then Ben pulled you aside. It wasn’t just his good looks that drew you to him. Ben had a whole vibe that pulled you in and made you want to know him better. Something in his eyes told you there was a depth to him to be found. And you were determined to explore every part of that.

Luke asked for you next. Luke was sort of an enigma to you. He was a person who - outside of this - you would have probably turned him down right away. The deeply religious side was a bit of a turn off for you. But he was really nice, and seemed so eager to get to know you, too. After your conversation, you felt more positively toward him. 

After Luke, was Richard. He had a quiet way about him, but every time you talked to him, you realized it was a quiet confidence. He was focused, but not harsh. Not to mention, he had a killer smile.

You tried to speak to everyone, but time was limited. Before you knew it, Chris Harrison called everyone in for the rose ceremony. You were a bit disappointed. There were a couple guys who didn’t have a date this week, and you had not gotten time with them at the cocktail party. But it was up to them to get that time with you, and if they couldn’t make the effort, then you assumed they didn’t want it that bad.

You stood before the men as they lined up. Gwilym and Taron stood to one side, since they already had roses and were safe. You still felt great about those decisions. Now, you had a few more to make. You took a deep breath and picked up the first rose. You found the first person you wanted to call.

“Joe,” you said, and saw his shoulders sag with relief when you did. He walked up to you with his usual grin. “Joe, will you accept this rose?”

“I will,” he said quietly.

He returned to the group.

“Rami,” you called, and he approached. “Rami, will you accept this rose?”

“Of course,” he answered.

You picked up the next rose.

“Richard,” you said. He walked coolly over to you. “Richard, will you accept this rose?”

“Always,” he replied.

Then, you called the following men: Allen, Eric, Luke, Kenny, Mike, Wells, Jordan, Jared, John, Chad, and John Paul Jones. Four men remained without a rose - Ben, Colton, Lincoln, and Chris R.

Chris Harrison walked out and stood beside you.

“Y/N, gentlemen,” he said. “This is the final rose tonight.”

You picked it up, hands shaking. You hated this part. Hurting people. But there was no doubt in your mind as to who this rose should go to.

“Ben,” you said.

He let out a deep sigh. “Thank God.”

You smiled as he walked over.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” you said. “Ben, will you accept this rose?”

“It was worth the wait,” he assured you. “O’course I will.”

You pinned it on him. He hugged you briefly and kissed your cheek before returning to the group.

Chris looked at the men.

“Gentlemen, I’m sorry,” he said. “If you did not receive a rose, take a moment, say your goodbyes.”

Colton, Lincoln, and Chris R all said goodbye to the men around them before they approached you one by one to say it to you. All three of them wished you the best of luck. You hated to see them go, since they were very nice to you, but you knew your connections were stronger with the others.

You couldn’t wait to see what the next week would bring. 

[ahiddenpath]

Vidja Games

So I checked out Game Informer’s list of the top 300 greatest video games, and they are objectively wrong, lol (I can’t imagine the fights that went into making this list??)!

I’m no critic, and I’m not interested in attempting to objectively rate games, but here are my (subjective) faves in rough order-ish, if you’re interested!  They are arranged by franchise for my sanity below the cut.

The Elder Scrolls (TES)

My all time favorite video game series is TES, although I wasn’t able to stomach playing I and II.  In order, my favorites are: Morrowind, then Oblivion, then Skyrim.

Morrowind is unfriendly to casual gamers, and even experienced folks need to learn the lay of the enormous world, how to fast travel, and even how to level and plan characters to best effect.  The learning curve is enormous, and if you decide to play a different type of character later on, you’re stuck!  You might even have to start over, since you level your character by increasing the major and minor skills you chose upfront.

But I have never experienced such an open, imaginative world.  The later installments felt both smaller and less varied.  In Morrowind, you’ll find everything from sprawling floating cities to houses built into enormous mushrooms, with ashlands, swamps, and mountainous terrains in between, complete with hell-on-earth smack-dab in the middle of everything.

Oblivion is more user-friendly than Morrowind, and it has some of the most engaging quests in the series.  What it loses in environmental diversity and sheer exploration potential, it almost- almost- compensates for in fun quests (there’s much less ‘fetch me some swamp muck’ involved), easier transportation, and the wonderful world of Shivering Isles, an expansion.

Skyrim is the most accessible of the three by far, and it’s forgiving in that it allows players to change their play style on the fly with little repercussions.  It also has the best combat.  Sadly, the repetitive environments make it far less compelling to explore than its predecessors, which is a huge part of TES’s charm for me.  I also found the enemies repetitive.  The more fanciful enemies are almost absent, and the few that exist are tied to specific daedric quest lines.  Do you know how hard it is to recharge enchanted items when you only encounter a handful of daedra?  Wolves and trolls just don’t fill them back up well.

Also, while the accessibility widens the target audience considerably, it cuts into the customization options previously available to more experienced gamers.  That was a huge disappointment for me, personally.

To be clear, though, I still adore Skyrim.

Personal anecdote:  My Morrowind strategy book was so worn that it fell apart, so I punched holes in the pages and kept it in a binder.  I took out the fast travel map and the local map of whatever area I was combing to find a dungeon door tucked into a cave hidden behind ivy or whatever.  I still have it; it’s a sentimental treasure.

The Sims

The more open-ended a game is, the more I like it, and The Sims is king of that arena!  For me, 3 is by far the best installment.  2 introduced the idea of having types of Sims with personal goals to meet to create direction for the player, but ultimately, it felt like I was stuck with the same five Sims over and over again.  The wishes and moodlet system of 3, along with the five slots for personality traits, gave me so much more power to create Sims that felt like actual characters.

I... don’t even want to know how much of my life I’ve put into The Sims...

My ranking:  3>1>2>4

It should be noted that I didn’t mind 1′s lack of direction, since my imagination alone is way more than enough to pull me forward in a sandbox game.  In comparison, 2 felt restrictive by creating five character types, limiting me to that in a way I couldn’t ignore.

Personal anecdote:  I received the original Sims for Christmas when I was in middle school.  I accidentally played from bed time until 4 AM, which is the closest I’ve ever come to pulling an all-nighter.

Sonic the Hedgehog

WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH THE BLUE BLUR.

Sonic was an enormous part of my childhood, guys.  I played all the games.  I watched both cartoons (the one with Sally and the Freedom Fighters and the one where it’s just Sonic/Tails/Eggman/some robots), I learned to read with the comic books.  I have a vivid memory of my brother taunting me by refusing to let me see his comics “because I couldn’t read”...  So I spite-learned using the comics when he wasn’t paying attention.

I don’t think I can pick a favorite!  As a kid, I played Sonic 3 the most; I was a huge Knuckles fan, so that might have played a role (also the original Sonic was too difficult for me at the time, although I certainly tried).  But I also loooooved Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2.  And Sonic Generations was so much fun!

Mario Bros

Lord, I was playing Mario games before I could read, I don’t...  Mario has always been around for me, okay?  It’s a huge part of my story, and the franchise is so iconic that there’s little for me to say.  There are way too many amazing games in this franchise for me to name, but personal faves include: Super Mario RPG, Super Mario World, and Yoshi’s Island.

The Legend of Zelda

This is another franchise where I don’t know what to say...  It’s too iconic for me to offer much.  Zelda games are known for their exploration and adventure, even from the beginning.  Ocarina of Time was a big part of my childhood, but I also adore the newest installment, Breath of the Wild.  And I know this may be silly, but I love Hyrule Warriors!  I can’t wait to play it on the Switch with all the DLC.

And the music???  Guys?????  THE MUSIC?!?!?!    

Bioshock 

Amazing atmosphere, fun game play, and one of the best stories in gaming history add up to an unforgettable experience.  Also a fore-runner to the idea of playing dialogue and recordings while the player explores, a trend that caught on in a huuuge way.

Persona

It’s hard to describe Persona games...  They basically combine Jungian psychology with various mythologies, sprinkle in some horror (or glob it on in the case of 3), throw in an RPG, and add a heaping serving of everyday high school life.  The games tackle a wide range of ideas and game play, creating a unique experience that has drawn a devoted following.

I’ll make this quick:

3:  Best story and atmosphere, worst/most needlessly frustrating game play, very prickly cast lol

4:  Best characters and character development

5:  Best game play (exquisitely polished game play, really), best overall style, worst story and character development

My ranking is 4>3>5.  It should probably be noted that story and character are king for me, so while 5 was incredibly polished mechanics wise, the comparatively weak story and characters sunk it to the bottom of the list for me.  It was one of those games where I understood where they were going hours ahead of time, and then they would explain “the twist” to the player for half an hour over and over and over.  Frankly, it was... kind of insulting, and soured the experience for me.

Also, Mona, I swear to god, how am I supposed to pass school if you don’t let me study or do my homework because you think I need to sleep at 5 PM every day ahhhhh!  XD

Harvest Moon

Oh god, here’s another franchise I don’t want to delve into in terms of hours I’ve spent playing O_O

I can’t even explain why I like these games...  In HM, you are a farmer, and your job is usually to prove to the villagers that you’re a valuable member of society so that they won’t evict you from your own inherited property.  (I’m curious about their deeds and legal policies, lol.  How do you write that clause up?).

These games combine farming with socialization and light dating sim elements, and time management is the name of the game.  They pull in players by tapping into the universal desire to create order and advancement.

My favorite installment is Friends of Mineral Town.  I also adored Harvest Moon 64, but the controls are sadly too dated for me to replay it.

Pokemon

I’m sure I’ve missed at least one, but I’ve played almost every mainstream release of Pokemon since Red and Blue came out.  It must be doing something right, lol!

I’m a huge sucker for games where you choose monsters to raise.  It’s so fun to assemble a team based on your tastes and raise them just so!

My favorite release is the remake of Gold and Silver.

Monster Rancher 2

OH MY LORD I played this game to the point where I’m shocked the disc still works.  In Monster Rancher 2, you find monsters by placing discs into your Play Station, which each encode a monster.  In order to access the strongest monsters, you must raise your rank as a trainer by winning official tournaments.

I wish I could explain why I latched on to this particular game so hard, but...  I think it had something to do with the massive variety of monsters, the difficulty of the tournaments (I never did hit S rank, and not for lack of trying!), and the myriad of odd ways to unlock special monsters.

Mario Kart

Seriously, who doesn’t like smiting friends and family on the race track?  MK is a fun, family-friendly way to deliver a beat down...  As long as you contain your desire to cuss like a sailor, anyway.

It’s so hard to pick a favorite here!  It’s hard to top the original for the challenge...  But Double Dash and Infinity are contenders, too.

Danganronpa

Danganronpa games are visual novels that mix survival, horror, and crime-solving into a dark, bizarre, unique experience.  I’ve written a ton about this series lately, so I won’t delve into it here, but you can check out the danganronpa tag on my blog for more.

Kingdom Hearts

These games are so charming and fun to play!  I’ve never completed one on my own- linear games are rough for me- but I’ve seen my husband play them all, even the (many) extra installments.  KH2 is probably my favorite, although Birth by Sleep was amazing, too.

Final Fantasy

I’ll admit that I don’t really enjoy playing Japanese RPGs; linear gameplay doesn’t appeal to me much in general.  But the FF franchise is famous for its sweeping narratives, imaginative environments, and breath-taking music, and I enjoy them for that.  I’ve watched my husband play X-XV, and I briefly joined him in playing XI and XIV.  My favorite is probably X...  Although I have an enormous crush on Ignis from XV.  

My favorite FF game to play is Theaterhythm: Curtain Call.

Mass Effect

How do I say this...  I don’t think I’ve ever played a game that better simulated becoming an entire universe’s hero and moral center.  In Mass Effect, you shape the world and the political climate in unprecedented ways.  By the end of 3, every player is so deeply invested in their Shepard and the world s/he created.  In that sense, it’s en epic experience without peer.

Destiny

I love playing Destiny with my husband and our friend!  I’m a titan, Tony is a hunter, and our buddy is a warlock, and together, we are... three guardians, lol!  

Okay, so the vanilla Destiny release needed some help, but it became a great game with the expansions.  I’m still waiting for that breath of rejuvenation for 2, but I treasure the time we spend together kicking ass as a team.

Left 4 Dead

This game redefined what co-op meant to me.  I always thought of it as Halo, basically competing on the same team against other players.  And yeah, you do that in L4D...  But the cooperation angle that this game brought to the table was more or less unprecedented.

In L4D, if your team of ragtag survivors doesn’t work together, it’s unlikely that anyone will survive.  I spent a lot of free time in college playing this with my friends spread out over different schools.  I had so, so much fun with it.

Although 2 had more varied game play, which was great, I enjoyed the original more, mostly because the online game play wasn’t as loaded in favor of the zombie team.  Objectively speaking, though, the sequel was the more robust game.

Personal anecdote:  L4D is where I learned about dealing with males online.  With Halo, which I also played at the time, I only enjoyed it enough to play it with people I knew.  I loved L4D so much that I would log in to play even when my friends weren’t available, which meant that I was teamed with random players.

I have a very feminine voice, which apparently means that I am meant to be treated like crap online.  Even though it’s a co-op game, and communication is important, I spent most of my sessions with the headset turned off.

Borderlands

THIS GAME, I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH IT!  The crass humor, the expanse of wastelands, the gun-slinging insanity, the incredible couch co-op!  What’s not to love?

Sadly, the sequel was a downgrade from the original, but the first game was an amazing ride.  I’ve been considering replaying it with Tony with all of the DLC.

Metal Gear

I’ve never played these myself, but I watched my husband play the first three.  They’re so cinematic and goofy and over-the-top and awesome!  I love breaking out my Solid Snake gravel voice, too.  My favorite is... probably 3?  It’s hard to pick between 2 and 3, though... 

Disgaea

Hmm...  How to describe these games...  They’re tactics games, I guess?  And there’s a lot of story, too...  Game play wise, the later installments perfect what the earlier ones started, but you can’t beat the story and characters of the original.  Laharl is still one of my all-time favorite male video game characters.  He’s... such a brat?  I love him???

Honorable mentions in no order (ie, I’m tired of writing descriptions, sorry to the rest of these games):

Halo, Dragon Age, Fallout 3, Ratchet & Clank, Resident Evil, Portal, Soul Calibur, Tetris Attack, Uncharted, Ms. Pacman,  the Batman Arkham games

EDIT:  I forgot Nier: Automata and Super Smash Bros!  FOR SHAME!

[fabulance-moved]

A few things about Rping...

Since my dash felt an drama-explosion, I felt the need to address a few things. No worries, I don’t do call outs. Since I actually want the community as a whole to feel more enjoyable then like a landmine of drama waiting to happen. If you read nothing else, read this: RPING IS A HOBBY. Your enjoyment is more important then followers, cliques, or whatever else get’s in the way between you writing your muses story for the dash to see as it unfolds!

Now under the cut is a mixture of questions to ask yourself as well as sharing a few observations and anecdotes. I’m not going to preach because in the end, it’s your dash and your blog/muse/time. You ultimately have the say in how power over who gets your attention, your emotional investment, who influences as well as who does not. 

1. If it doesn’t add to your experience writing your muse or increasing your understanding of your muse or enjoyment or skill in writing them, it doesn’t really matter.

Sounds selfish as hell, right? In a sense it can be seen and argued as such, however it’s likely one the best things you can keep in mind and do for yourself, your muse AND the dash/fellow muns. I’ll let you guy knows that I, Sir-mun, have seen over the years so much stupid shit that varied from unfunny posts to characterizations that made feel violent impulsive rage. Does that give me the right to tell blogs I didn’t like how to play their character? No. Just like I don’t have to give two shits on anyone’s opinion on how I play Lance, everyone in turn has no obligation to to play their muse by anyone else’s standards aside from their own.

Now even it’s constructive criticism, asked for or not, I still have final say in how my muse is played and written as do you when it comes to your own. Your force should always be sticking to their spirit, personality and individuality of your muses above anything else. Writing itself is a creative process and everyone views things and express things with their own special flavor. 

2. Followers are just a number. :|

There. I said it. You can fight me on this all day but I stand by my statement. If out of 500 followers you only follow 250 and actually interact and chat with 5-25, what really are the rest but just a silence audience? Now I know the desire to be popular is common and that a few people use their following count as a measure of their creative worth as a writer. 

STOP THAT. 

Unless you’re trying to build a platform for yourself where being prolific is a prerequisite or outright requirement to get your foot into the medium, your follower count means little. I’m not saying it’s meaningless as it does serve purpose for many people. Most common are milestones when they reach a few hundred followers. Now I’m not saying that setting goals of say, reaching over 200 followers in a year or something is universally bad, but ask yourself the following things before you set that goal.

- What do I gain by setting a goal to have [X] many people follow me? - What do I think I’ll feel when I reach that goal and what stops me from feeling that way about my writing as is? -Are there any other ways I can use to judge myself or see how I improve as a writer aside from numbers on a follow counter? - If I’m doing this for fun or to tell a muse’s story I hold dear in my dear, why do I entertain anything that isn’t related to my enjoyment or telling my muses story?

3. Groups come and go but friendships can last till death does you all apart.

I was around when Closed RP Groups were they place to be in PokeTumblr. I started my Tumblr Rping journey in a closed group, that I later became a mod for due to how much I grew attached to the place and the friendships I made there. I’m still friends to this day with a couple of them that i met and Rp’d years ago and we have over 5 years of history under our belts now. (We’re slowly getting closer to being classified as living fossils I swear...)   

The same story could be told by many rpers here on tumblr, some might have owned groups or just went from group to group. Hell many could tell you all the indie adventures and hijinks they’ve been involved in with a smile while telling you it was 8 years ago and everyone from back then moved on to different fandoms or sites. 

Do not let groups or cliques get to you. Hell a clique did a massive callout post years ago that damaged the poketumblr community so bad it has taken YEARS for it to fully recover from all the daamge done by that group. Do not give people that much power of you and your muse, for your own sake and sanity, do not do it. 

Just keep doing what you love and eventually you’ll find someone muses and muns you click with and then you’ll all keep talking to each other and before you know it, a year has past yet when you spend time with them, it feels as if time doesn’t exist at all! 

 4. Emotions are natural, everyone has them. What you do when you have them is what counts the most.

I’ve had days where I just felt so energized and happy by seeing a mun or muse on my dash I wrote and said things that I wouldn’t have done on my own otherwise. I’ve also had days to where I had to ignore my dash or outright block and blacklist urls because just seeing the blog’s name made me want to slowly torture them with sadist glee. I have yet to go that far with anyone and will do things to make sure I stop things before they ever reach that point. 

You have the same control and agency when it comes to how you cope and express your emotions, positive or negative. You will also be held held accountable for what you do. Some may take pity on you but others will not likely not excuse you lashing out at them or one of their friends because you got “angry”. Do what you have to do to get yourself in a more cool and less reactive mental state before going about dealing with someone that pissed you off. Ask for advice if you have to. The world is full of people that you might not like and the net is full of those people as well. Learn to deal with it constructively.

5. Be the change that you want on your dash or in your rp community if you feel things aren’t to your liking and want it to change.

I hate call out posts. I dislikes blogs where I can not read their text clearly. I engage in neither and while I see blogs do both at times, I don’t support it by spreading it on my dash either. I wished people got my connected with each other, so I joined discord servers and made a few of my own.  I like getting inbox message for memes and just in general, so I do the same for those That I feel the urge for. 

People read your tags people. We see your occ, rps, and everything else in between. If you feel lonely or wish for more interaction, go invade inboxes of muses you want to rp with. Wish for a serious plot or one-liner crack? Throw up a post for one OR look to see if anyone else is asking for the same thing you want. 

I understand that many people are not like me, some are much more shy and not as confident that people will find value in how they writer, etc. My advice would be to risk it anyway. From the pain and fear comes growth and courage. We’re also shitty critics when it comes to our own writing. Let your writing partners decide if you’re good enough or quality. You are not psychic or their mind. They can judge you on their own and 9 times out of 10 they’re not as obsessed with written perfection as you as. They just want a good story with your muse and their muse. 

Which in the end of the day, is the best thing an Rper can get.