#ANYWAY i've written a fic!!!! v happy with the results

[hamburgergod]

[AO3] 

~3k, wangxian, post-canon and married fic. 

They say even rivers and mountains change after ten years so it's no wonder that things have changed since Wei Wuxian's death sixteen years ago.

Still, somehow, Wei Wuxian thinks he'll be alright.

-

It’s the fourth time that Wei Wuxian has visited Yunmeng since marrying Lan Wangji, and he’s starting to get used to all the new buildings that tower over the familiar old buildings. The main roads haven’t changed much, thankfully, but there are all these new little paths that lead to places that he’s never been in Yunmeng before, and isn’t that a thought he’d never thought was possible before?

“Wei-qianbei?” Lan Sizhui calls beside him.

Wei Wuxian blinks away from the spot where the vendor who used to give him free samples used to be, and snaps himself back to the present with a grin.

They end up in a dinky little inn near the very edge of Yunmeng, and the drizzling outside doesn’t dampen the juniors’ bubbling excitement after a successful night-hunt that had led itself to be more tricky than they’d originally thought. Wei Wuxian had mostly watched from the side like he and Lan Wangji had been doing for some time now, and that’s what he does now as he watches them celebrate in their own repressed Lan sect way, talking louder than is usually permissible and definitely not using their inside voices while they wait for their celebratory dinner to arrive. The Lan sect sure knows how to party.

Wei Wuxian also thinks the juniors would expect the red dishes by now when they arrive to the table, but some of them still groan in the most un-Lan-like way possible and Wei Wuxian has to stifle his own laughter at the sight.

“Wei-qianbei,” Lan Jingyi whines in that special way of his that makes Wei Wuxian want to reach over and ruffle his hair. “Our tongues really will burn off one day, you know?”

“It’ll strengthen your digestion system,” Wei Wuxian says sagely. Lan Jingyi rolls his eyes.

Honestly, he’s been looking forward to this one particular dish all night; a local chicken dish that’s cooked in a way that’s quite not the same anywhere else no matter where Wei Wuxian has travelled to. The anticipation that’s been building in his stomach all night tightens when they start their meal, and he picks up a bite.

There is a buzz of chatter all around him, but the only thing he can focus on is the disappointment that curdles in his chest.

“Hey, this isn’t too bad!” Lan Jingyi says beside him. “I can actually taste the food this time.” And the rest of the Lan sect juniors chip in an agreement.

“It’s delicious, Wei-qianbei,” Lan Sizhui says with a sunny smile. “Thank you for treating us.”

Wei Wuxian beams proudly, with more pride than he feels at the moment, and gestures at the rest of the table with his chopsticks. “Alright, alright. Eat up.”

It’s good food. Wei Wuxian won’t deny that; all the dishes are delicious in their own ways. Just that none of them taste the way they did sixteen years ago, with the differences subtle enough that he can almost taste the familiarity within it but significant enough that it definitely isn’t the same thing that he reminiscences after.

Ahh, it’s fine. It’s just food. Wei Wuxian might be an old man now but he hopes he’s not old enough to refuse change when it comes flying at him in the face. Maybe he just feels a little wistful, that’s all.

With a smile, he orders another round of food for the table and they clear out every last dish.

-

Lan Sizhui drags the unconscious Wei Wuxian out of bed in the most punctual manner and places him face-down on the table while the rest of the group eats their breakfast, already completely used to this sight whenever they travel somewhere. Only when he hears them all stand abruptly out of their seats does Wei Wuxian roll his head to one side out of curiosity and jolts awake at the sight that greets him. He doesn’t jump physically but it’s a near thing that he does.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says slowly, letting the false cover of sleep excuse the way his mouth goes dry.

Jiang Cheng scowls down at him with a stormy frown. At least that face hasn’t changed much. The muscle in his jaw twitches as he looks over the Lan juniors. “You led a night-hunt in Yunmeng.”

Wei Wuxian supposes he should be thankful it isn’t how dare you set your foot in here?  “It’s not like that.”

Jiang Cheng scoffs. “So you just happened to be in the area?”

“Jiang-zongzhu,” Lan Sizhui greets as he meets Jiang Cheng’s glare head-on. Wei Wuxian is very thankful for this kid of theirs. “We only stopped by Yunmeng for the night while on our way back to Gusu. Our night-hunt didn’t take place within the perimeters of the Jiang sect at any point.”

Jiang Cheng holds his glare with Lan Sizhui to acknowledge that he’s heard him, looks around the inn, and back down at Wei Wuxian in disgust. “Then I suppose the hospitality at Lotus Pier isn’t good enough for you and the established Lan sect? Is that it?”

“What does the Lan sect have to do with it? I just—”

Wei Wuxian stops mid-sentence, doesn’t know how to complete that train of thought without dragging out the ugly mess between them so he doesn’t, but it’s still more than enough for Jiang Cheng to fill what’s not said on his own. Jiang Cheng’s face twists hilariously as his mouth purses into a thin line.

Wei Wuxian huffs out a laugh and gives what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Alright, alright,” he says easily. It would’ve been so easy and natural to reach over and give him a pat on the shoulder long ago, but it’s not a gesture that Wei Wuxian can just make casually anymore. “We were on our way.”

The Lan juniors who have been watching their interaction tensely all collectively relax when Wei Wuxian says this, and they shuffle out of the way to let Wei Wuxian make his way to the front of the group and lead them away. But just as he takes maybe two steps from his seat, Jiang Cheng’s voice stops him at the doorstep.

“You come all this way,” Jiang Cheng says in that barely repressed raged way of his, “and you didn’t even stop by to pay your respect? Do you think you’re above all the responsibilities now that you’re no longer part of the sect?”

Now that’s just not fair. “Jiang Cheng, you’re being unfair.”

“Then come and pay respect,” Jiang Cheng replies with a glare and a jut of his chin. And underneath the accusation that Wei Wuxian is being disrespectful to the dead—to the dead that he’s responsible for—he realizes there might be an invitation buried in there somewhere.

So he goes.

-

Shijie, Wei Wuxian thinks as he looks up at Jiang Yanli’s name plate. The smell of incense is thick in the air from the three sticks that he’s lit, wafting its white smoke into the air. I don’t know how you ever dealt with both of us at the same time. You really were the best of the best. Lan Zhan and I are married. Jin Ling is a sect leader now and is doing well. You would’ve been proud of him.

A-Xian, he can almost hear her whisper with that fond smile reserved just for him and Jiang Cheng. Take it slow. One step at a time.

By the time Wei Wuxian emerges from the ancestral hall, Lotus Pier is bustling with activity as they set up a meal for the guests from the Lan sect. Wei Wuxian savours his walk towards the dining hall only to find no one there, and instead unused tables stacked on top of another and collecting dust in the corners of the room greet him. He stares into the room, stunned.

“What are you doing here?”

Wei Wuxian turns around with a blink. “Where is everyone?”

“The dining hall. Where else would they be?” Jiang Cheng says with a scowl. “This room hasn’t been used as a dining hall for at least five years.”

But he wouldn’t know that, would he. “Ah.”

“Well?” Jiang Cheng stands by the doorway with all the poise of a sect leader, and it’s a side of him that Wei Wuxian is still getting used to being at the receiving end of. “Are you coming or not?”

Wei Wuxian follows after Jiang Cheng to the dining hall as if he hadn’t lived half his life here and instead a stranger visiting for the first time. In a way, after all this time, he supposes he is. But why isn’t Jiang Cheng already with everyone else?

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian wonders aloud, “could it be that you were looking for me?”

Jiang Cheng scowls. “Who would look for you?” He glances behind him to find Wei Wuxian’s frown turned into a smile, and his scowl deepens. “Do you ever shut up?”

Wei Wuxian’s smile broadens to a grin.

-

“How are you affording your travels anyway?”

“Lan Zhan treats me very well.”

“…Where is he then?”

“We’re back in Cloud Recesses now. You should see how Lan lao-tou foams at the mouth every time he sees us. I guess he still can’t stand that his worst disciple eloped with his best, hahaha!”

“…What??”

“Hm?”

“Eloped???”

“…Ahh, ah.”

“Wei Wuxian, are you telling me you got fucking married without telling me?? Are you fucking kidding me???”

A shrug. “It was a proper elopement.”

“What, so you’re not even worth a proper ceremony for the virtuous Hanguang-jun? Is that it?”

“Jiang Cheng!”

“…”

“…”

A scowl. “Well, don’t be so stupid and waste his money on an inn the next time you’re here.”

A smile. “Mm.”

-

The road to Cloud Recesses has become familiar enough for Wei Wuxian that once he gets to a certain point on the road, he knows exactly what to expect from the scenery. The river runs much deeper at one point before it shallows out again with little waterfalls cascading down a boulder. There’s a fallen log up the mountain that looks like any other fallen log in a mountain, but its presence lets him know that he’s getting close to a part of the path where it dips down before it sharply turns into a climb, which leads to a corner that he needs to turn at to reveal the stone stairs up to the gate of Cloud Recesses.

And atop those stairs waits—

“Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji—who was overlooking the scenery on the top of the stairs like an immovable pillar—shifts effortlessly at the sound of Wei Wuxian’s voice. They lock eyes when Wei Wuxian waves enthusiastically, and Lan Wangji walks down the stairs to meet him halfway as Wei Wuxian runs up. It’s only been five days since they last saw each other, but Wei Wuxian still greedily drinks in the sight of Lan Wangji up and down, his eyes finally resting on his face with a surge of joy that pleasantly travels through his body.

“Lan Zhan, did you wait long?”

“No.” Lan Wangji reaches over and takes a leaf out of Wei Wuxian’s hair, and lightly runs his finger down the length of his hair as he does. Wei Wuxian laughs unabashedly. “Dinner?”

“Not yet. I wanted to eat with you so I resisted eating at Caiyi!” It was also a little too early to be eating dinner when they were in Caiyi, but it’s true that Wei Wuxian didn’t snack on anything which he thinks is a huge feat on its own. Wei Wuxian sticks out his lower lip and pouts because he knows it’s a gesture that won’t go unnoticed. “I’m starving, Lan Zhan. Feed me.”

The corners of Lan Wangji’s mouth lift and the underside of his warm eyes curve as he rewards him with a smile, and it’s enough to brighten Wei Wuxian’s already good mood by a thousand suns. “Mm.”

Wei Wuxian swings their threaded hands back and forth as they make their way back to the jingshi while they chat and catch up on what’s happened in the past few days while they were away from each other’s company. Wei Wuxian happily fills Lan Wangji on what the juniors have done during the trip that merits praise and advice even if Lan Wangji will receive the night-hunt reports later and will be able to judge for himself. There is contentment settled between them that’s so sure and true that its familiarity makes Wei Wuxian’s heart ache in the best way.

When Lan Wangji brings their tray of food that he’s cooked, Wei Wuxian does not think it lightly that Lan Wangji has outdone himself tonight. Even with his limited knowledge of cooking, he can recognize that most of them take hours to make as they have to be simmered and be checked on constantly throughout the day while they cook, and some of them needing preparations the day before.

“Lan Zhan, what’s the big occasion? What is all this?”

Lan Wangji sets a bowl of rice in front of Wei Wuxian. “No occasion.”

Wei Wuxian eyes one of the dishes in front of him. It’s a delicacy that one might expect during a holiday, not during a regular sit-down dinner. Its existence on their dinner table proves the time and care that Lan Wangji put into this meal for some reason yet to be known to Wei Wuxian. Birthday? No. The day they vowed their marriage? No. Day he came back from the dead, or maybe the day he settled down in Cloud Recesses for good? No and no.

Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and hums for one more moment, his brows furrowed in deep thought, before he smiles brightly and picks up his chopsticks. “Well, Lan-er-gege has put so much effort into our dinner so I will gladly enjoy it before it gets cold!” He glances over at Lan Wangji, who’s watching him with faint amusement dancing in his eyes. “But knowing how terrible this one’s memory is, you’ll tell me if I’ve forgotten what today is supposed to be?”

“There’s no occasion,” Lan Wangji repeats with a brush of his hand against Wei Wuxian’s before he sits down beside him. Wei Wuxian knows that he’s not lying per say, but there’s definitely something he’s not saying. “Eat,” he gently commands.

“Ye-es,” Wei Wuxian singsongs and takes a heap serving of the dish in front of him.

Everything tastes as delicious as Wei Wuxian had suspected, and every bite a flavour that’s worthy of being cherished and savoured before moving onto the next dish if Wei Wuxian wasn’t in such a hurry to taste all of them. Also noted is the way Lan Wangji watches him take every bite with a set of determined eyes, swiftly placing pieces of meat and vegetables into Wei Wuxian’s bowl before his next bite of food even reaches his mouth. While this itself isn’t cause for concern as this is also a very normal occasion that happens on their meals, he seems extra determined to tend to Wei Wuxian tonight for some reason. The same reason for all the fancy food that Wei Wuxian is being spoiled with today, he assumes. Wei Wuxian compliments every single dish for its delicious flavour and excellent texture, each one holding genuine sentiment and not just for the sake of watching Lan Wangji’s eyes light up at each comment.

“That’s it,” Wei Wuxian declares after clearing out all of the dishes, slumping forward to rest his forehead against Lan Wangji’s shoulder. “I’m so full that I can’t even think.”

Lan Wangji shifts so that Wei Wuxian is properly resting his head against his shoulder without straining his neck. He wraps his arm around Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and lightly strokes his arm up and down, and it’s soothing in a way that reminds him just how tired he is from travelling the better part of the day. He sinks into the touch that smoothes out the travel weariness and its warmth has him dozing off in a few minutes.  

“That thing left residual resentful energy everywhere it went,” Wei Wuxian mumbles, his words doused with sleep. “It was a pain to clean up.”

“Mm. You did well.”

“We did do well.” Wei Wuxian’s eyes are closed, very nearly falling asleep after such a good meal and Lan Wangji a pleasant warmth that surrounds him. Even if he falls asleep like this he has no doubt that he’ll wake up in their bed the next morning. He yawns. “It led us all the way to Yunmeng by the end.”

The hand that’s been stroking his arm halts in its rhythm for one breathless second and then continues to stroke up and down as if it’s never happened, but it’s enough to reel Wei Wuxian’s attention back to full wakefulness. He cracks open his eyes to find Lan Wangji studying his face, and there is still tenderness and care in his eyes that’s also clouded with… worry?

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says carefully, not for Lan Wangji but for himself and the revelation that he’s just had. He never knew he’d be able to feel so vulnerable and safe at the same time. He swallows down a tight lump in his throat. “Did you already know that we’d been in Yunmeng?”

Lan Wangji’s mouth sets in a thin displeased line that Wei Wuxian’s learned to recognize whenever he’s reminded of Wei Wuxian’s previous home, now a place that represents something different and perhaps the most unforgivable to Lan Wangji, it is a place that no longer welcomes Wei Wuxian as it once had. No matter how much things might change from here on out, it will never hold the same light, carefree weight that it did in Wei Wuxian’s heart.

“Sizhui sent me his report before you left,” Lan Wangji admits.

“Ah, as expected of the diligent Lan Head Disciple.”

Wei Wuxian shifts himself so he can look at Lan Wangji properly in the face which ends up with him in his laps with his arms resting on Lan Wangji’s shoulders. He cups Lan Wangji’s cheek in his hand with a soft smile. “Could it be that my dear husband was worried about me and went through all this effort to help me feel better?”

Lan Wangji wordlessly turns his head so he can lay a gentle kiss against Wei Wuxian’s palm.

“I really thought I missed an important holiday!” Wei Wuxian laughs. He feels Lan Wangji huff through his nose and smile against his palm. He slides his arms behind Lan Wangji’s neck and hugs him, and buries his face against the crook of his neck. “Jiang Cheng and I talked.”

The hold on Wei Wuxian’s waist tightens.

“Really, I’m okay.” Wei Wuxian leans back to beam at Lan Wangji fondly. “How can I not be, when the esteemed Hanguang-jun cares for me so much? My heart can’t take it!”

“Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhaaan.” With a smile, Wei Wuxian brings both his hands to fully take hold of Lan Wangji’s face and peppers light kisses on his headband, his forehead, the sides of his eyes, his temples, his cheeks, the corners of his lips. After so many years, everything in the world that once held Wei Wuxian in its heart has shifted and changed in a way that no longer houses him as it once did and never will in the same way, and he knows that there’s no one to blame but himself for that. It would be unreasonable for him to demand no one else to move forward while he wasn’t present. But Lan Wangji has used those years to not only to change, but change in such a way that cultivates a space solely meant for Wei Wuxian to come back to with no way of knowing whether he would even come back at all. Wei Wuxian knows now that he will always have one place where he will belong should he choose it, some place to always come back to, and unsurprisingly it’s the place he’d like to be at the most. He sighs happily and slumps further into Lan Wangji’s embrace. “I love you so much, Lan Zhan.”

Wei Wuxian feels a gentle press of lips against his temple and a murmur of, “And I love you, Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian gives him one more tight hug in response, and gives Lan Wangji’s earlobe a nibble. Lan Wangji doesn’t jump but his body tenses around Wei Wuxian for a completely different reason now. Wei Wuxian huffs a laugh against his ear and lowers his voice to a pleasant purr, and he hears Lan Wangji's breath stutter for a split second at the sound right in his ear. “Then let me show Lan-er-gege just how much he’s been missed the past week.“

Wei Wuxian laughs delightedly into their kiss as Lan Wangji pushes them to the floor while still holding him in a tight embrace, safe and secure and sure in its presence.

The scent of sandalwood welcomes him home.