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tottymatsuno · 3 years

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Can you please rank them from worst to best house husband? I need this list for reasons…

You... I just turnt anon on my beloved. Ilu tho bc I'm about to learn ya a thing or two. I'm gonna use some slight gendered language sorry edit I misread and did it best to worst whoops

1matsu. Ichimatsu is a domesticated cat, he thrives in a clean environment and will take the initiative to make it clean himself. In episodes that involve a Matsuno trying to make their living situation more hospitable for all of them it is Ichimatsu who takes the lead. He will cook, clean and cuddle you bc he knows you've worked hard. He will bitch at you, he will nag at you and he will cuss u tf out if you purposefully make a mess or do not appreciate his hard work but he's also really chill and good at reading the mood so he would be an excellent person to vent to! Ichimatsu would get to know your neighbors for you because he knows you're too busy sometimes but would like to stay in the loop. Very considerate partner, definitely will buy you snacks and would be mindful of the budget. Romance wise it'd be awkward initially when you move in together but would quickly settle into a veey quiet and passionate life long romance. Lots of quietly doing your own things while lying on the others lap. Lots of kisses that he would get embarrassed by and run away even tho he kissed you. Yall have been married for five years and he still can't look you in the eyes after making out. 8/10 great husband. 2 points docked bc you'll have to live a life smelling like sardines and he does shit in a litterbox sometimes.

Osomatsu imo is 2. Now don't shoot me for saying this but Osomatsu is someone who is adversed to growing up so it would take more of an emotional bribe for him to actually change but once he does and realizes that he's still young, he can still see his brothers everyday, that the affection of having his own smaller family that loves him despite his flaws... I think that'd inspire him to want to be a better person for them. He realistically would be someone you needed to baby at first, someone you'd get mad at often bc holy shit Osomatsu!! You just cleaned that! But I think when push came to shove a few things would set in after he tested the waters to see if you'd leave him. If you got sick or god forbid pregnant Osomatsu would look around and think "ah. I'm being a burden. How can I help right now?" and it'd start with him cleaning up. When you thank Osomatsu earnestly he has a bit of an identity crisis, is he still piece of shit Osomatsu? Is it okay?? And then he'd clean more and more everyday. He'd taper off of drinking so much and oh god Osomatsu just opened a savings account... He's not gambling but is instead trying to actually manage the household like an adult should! Responsible Osomatsu finally acting proper because he loves you so much and you're the best thing that ever happened to him. Why would Osomatsu want to stay a piece of shit forever when he has someone to inspire him to be a good husband? In terms of romance I think it'd initially start off making you feel like you're in middle school again bc of how juvenile it'd be. But in a good way! Everything would feel so new and the butterflies would never end bc we saw how happy Osomatsus wife was in the 1st ep of s2. 7/10 because you will lose hundreds of thousands of yen investing in his hobosexual ass before he gives u something better than mediocre head.

My personal fave and wife Totty! Todomatsu is someone who wants to be loved, cherished and wanted. He wants to love and most importantly be loved wholly in return. The issues are though that he's lazy and inconsiderate and will try to manipulate you into spoiling him. Like that scene with him using Matsuyo's expensive toner and then telling her she ran out. Todomatsu will see you work a full time work week and ask you to massage his shoulders bc his part time job was that hard! Now his good points are he wouldn't be a fulltime househusband like the others, he would actually have a job. To lord over you and make you feel sorry for your poor sweet Totty. But if Todomatsu saw you were legitimately having a tough day he would cook a nice meal or if he were too tired would let you pick take out. Watching comedy shows with him would be fun, and Totty would be the first to ask for a pet! "Let's pretend its a trial run for our baby!" either as a joke or srs depending on ur preference for children. Todomatsu would buy you spontaneous gifts always with your preference and tastes in mind. He's not the best at being emotionally honest and Todomatsu will try to hurt your feelings if his were slighted first. A real tic for tat kinda guy but Totty would be the first to want to hold you and help in any way he can. He wants you to love and praise him forever so Todomatsu generally tries to stay on your good side. He can't clean though and Todomatsu has only learned a few dishes from his mother but in terms of life partners he's a good one. 6/10 bc he's petty and rude and the type to point out you ate his leftovers like 8 yrs back when losing an argument.

Karamatsu would try! Oh god would he try!! He starts off with this expectation that because Karamatsu loves you more than anything and even himself that it would easy to serve you like he was offering his very soul at the alter. But those delusions of grandeur would fall short of both of your expectations. It'd be cute at first! Karamatsu would looove if you depended on him! But the thing is that if he had nothing else to do but keep things clean, grocery shop and run household errands he'd go crazy! Karamatsu would start inventing reasons to go on journeys or at the very least would miss you too much and would insist on dropping you off and picking you up from work. Yall would need to get a dog but Karamatsu would be too shy to ask for another companion when he already has you as his eternal life partner! Dude would get bored tho lol and start getting uppity. You'd need to reel him in w affection and spoiling him too just as much. Karamatsu doesn't need a normal spouse, a lowkey one would be great but in reality he needs someone just as fucking insane as he is. Really needs a hype man bc he's gonna hype you tf up and if you cant match his energy he's gonna start ripping your carpet out bc he needs enrichment. Being in love with Karamatsu would be fairytale sweet but it would take him some time to actually adjust and start buying you gifts you actually like and not pulling moves and lines from cliche movies. 4.8/10 bc it might get grating after a while and also he's very accident prone so you can stand replacing so many walls and doors. Also he needs lots of attention.

Jyushimatsu is probably in a tier of his own which is: If you like it I love it. Jyushimatsu is very energetic, the smiles and laughter wouldn't end! But when he's in love he calms down considerably and can be serious enough. It's very sweet seeing how earnest he is and how relaxing Jyushimatsu finds your presence. Mornings are animated, evenings are softer and it's so easy to relax with him until you remember Jyushi embodies the comedy rules of funny. Things will get resolved with a punchline whether you like it or not, things will change and since the boy can alter reality it'd be a lot going on at once. Lots of kissing and handholding and ppl probably think it's very innocent and go "aww, how cute" but Jyushimatsu is probably knocking your boots clear off on the reg. You'll probably be fine cuz him love you but yeah you're gonna need to be dynamic to keep yourself from going crazy. Ya house ain't too messy and you do have to teach him how to clean but he's eager to help you and he does spends some of your money on candy and toys and the conversation you have to have with Jyushimatsu when you see his bank account is gonna be a mess. -10/10 for withholding martial assests. 1000/10 for ultimate Jyushimatsu experience.

Choromatsu is my least favorite since the movie and if u were looking forward to him ig I can go thru it but I'm not gonna be very kind. He pretends to do ur taxes but doesn't file them or know how to actually do it. He gets an inflated ego when you start dating and doesn't stop bragging about how lucky you are. Real incel vibes but you love it. He can be sweet sometimes but those times are a bit rare since he's spending your money on idol and anime merch. Choromatsu would at least probably give good head ig so maybe there's that to look forward to. He'd be cute during the courting stage of the relationship but would grow much too complacent during the actual marriage. Choromatsu promised his mama he'd have kids first so there's that element of pressure. After a while you hear him tell you "we're already married so what's the point pretending to be all lovey dovey still?" even though he's still in love with you. He's more caught up in the perception of himself rather than being super good at being a husband. Yall apartment isn't a mess by a long shot but only a few days out of the week is it truly clean. You can't motivate him because even though he doesn't have a job he's married anyways. There's good times and bad times but ultimately it's just a bit bland. He can be funny though so you stay. 2/10 don't look at his porn stash though.

#osomatsu san x reader #osomatsu x reader #karamatsu x reader #choromatsu x reader #ichimatsu x reader #jyushimatsu x reader #Todomatsu x reader #osomatsu san imagines #Ososan images #Sorry beloveds Choromatsu doesn't get a kind review #Probably typoes all up in this bitch lemme reread it omg #my cherished anon #roros requests

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eggedbellies · 3 years

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Hey, uh! This is my very first time doing an anon ask for an imagine of this sort! Or an anon ask in general so this might be a bit awkward or rambley but here goes,,

Thoughts on a couple, or being in a couple where one wants to be nonhuman (and by that I mean a monster) REAL badly, like to the point of a lil heartache, and the other is a questionable biology/genetics expert?

Basically, the expert partner is like “ok sweetie I’ll help u achieve ur ideal form ilu :)” and makes. A fucking,, you know one of those test tube things? Those big test tube things people float in in sci fi stuff and kinda just… people jars! Just look it up on tv tropes. People jars. Yeah.

And both are really nervous about this because WHO WOULDN’T BE (I mean it’s a whole new thing and the pre-monsterfication S/O could end up dead or whatever since this hasn’t been tried out before) not to mention that the ‘wants-to-be-monster’ or WTBM one will have to stay in there in an induced coma for SIX MONTHS while the changes go on because let’s face it drastic monster transformation in a tube doesn’t happen overnight.

So basically the day comes where WTBM partner has to go in the tube and take the gamble of possible monsterfication while asleep in there for six months (probably dreaming abt ark survival evolved because I mean a lot of MY dreams are like that so just basing this off of personal experience here)

And expert partner is like “ilu babe we’re both nervous about this but remember this is so you can be you :))”, and WTBM partner is like “Hhh babe I am nervous maybe hug me a little hh :(( I want it but it is a little scary ngl” and then they hug because they are both very supportive and caring partners who love eachother very very much.

Anyways WTBM goes in the tube, the tube fills with the classic human jar green liquid, they go into hibernation and expert partner leaves, closing the door behind them because this is a very stressful situation and they won’t see WTBM for months and who KNOWS how it’s gonna turn out (a little angst!)

Anyways the six months pass and WTBM wakes up in the tube. They are in fact monster. Very cool looking. Probably has alien, bug-like or fish-like qualities (but with a mostly human face maybe? just with a protrusible jaw and the hundreds of teeth and multiple tongues or whatever you get the deal.). Oh there’s definitely a tail too. There’s always gotta be a tail that part is CRUCIAL the tail is too cool to leave out.

Expert partner sees that the vital signs on their phone app are ringing off, so like, really scared they go down to the tube room and open the door to find…

An empty broken tube.

They run over to see what’s going on, and then a familiar voice behind them (but maybe now a bit growlier with a bit of a purr to it) greets them and they turn around and it is the ONE AND ONLY WTSB partner (who will now be called monster partner)

Expert and Monster are both very happy about the results, HOWEVER. A few WEIRD THINGS did happen. Specifically, Monster partner got a few uh. Personality traits cooked into them in there.

For one, they’re way more affectionate than they used to be, though this could just be them being happier in general now. This also comes with the added thing of wanting to care for Expert more, such as cooking meals for them or being protective of them against suspected threats (like the dreaded Weird Bird Outside)

Another thing, they’ve suddenly gotten into the habit of calling Expert partner their ‘queen’ or ‘mate’ or whatever, which Expert is weirded out by but ultimately is okay with.

Oh and uh. The final personality change.

Monster partner now has the urge to absolutely FILL Expert partner with their brood (eggs), which Expert partner is the most weirded out by, but after they talk it out for a bit and come to a mutual agreement… yeah. Expert’s cool with being filled by eggs. (Monster is EXTREMELY EXCITED by their agreement)

Then ofc they have the consensual sex (or seggs I should say), and at the end, post-climax, Monster finds that they’re stuck in their partner by a knot and begin depositing eggs via their ovipositor. Expert gets eggnant. Monster is very excited by this. Lots of compliments. Maybe lots of speeches about protecting Expert or how nice they look with eggs in them (Expert is very. Weirded out by this but still enjoys and accepts the compliments.)

And so all this continues, Expert gets even more filled with eggs over time, but through it all they’re still very affectionate with their Monster partner and they’re in a very happy, albeit weird relationship because Monster partner is kind of like having a sapient, uncanny cat that’ll stare at you and do the. Weirdest things. Maybe crawls on the ceiling a little. But otherwise it is a very good time!

TLDR; What are your thoughts on someone turning their partner into a monster like they’ve always wanted, but now the partner wants to lay eggs in them and is Very Weird but nonetheless it’s a good time?

(I really kinda wanted to do this ask because I’ve barely seen any content in Ovi/Monsterfucking where there’s a good amount of sweet, saccharine fluff and many weird but nonetheless very kind compliments from one’s now bug-fish-alien-thing partner. It’s always ‘GRAHH I AM INHUMAN AND I AM GOING TO AGGRESSIVELY MATE WITH YOU GRAHH’ and other stuff like that in this community, and I wanted to know your thoughts on something that… isn’t that!)

ohohohoho so I was just getting more and more excited as this ask went on because a. this would make an excellent fuckin story like goddamn this is so good and b. y e s to all of this especially under the things i would like to happen to me because honest to GOD anon you are *chefs kis* genius and I would adore readin a story like this

bc I am so fuckin down w consent, consent is so sexy especially when it comes to thingsl ike being egged and being monsterified and you'll notice in a lot of my stories it's usually actually consent, at the very least implied but often outright agreed or spoke and just hmmmmMMMMM yes put me in a jar and turn me into a monster I will Take THe RiSk okay

#i love it anon you are genius

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sunsetcurvecuddles · 3 years

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If you’re still accepting prompts, would I be able to request ‘comfortable’ for willex

(I hold your touch starved willex fics in high regard, they are so amazing!)

anon ilu thank you so much for this sweetness. here’s a 650wd snuggly snippet in the touch-starved verse just for you!

When Willie wakes, it takes him a moment to work out where he is. The air around him is ambiantly warm and cozy, and there’s afternoon sunlight spilling into the Molina’s living room.

Right, the living room. He’d come in here because there was that cold feeling settling in around his chest, again, the one that made him feel fragile and distant and small.

Willie remembers when he thought it’d never get better.

For a long time, most of what he felt was embarrassment, because the only thing that made the ache bearable barely happened, and when it did, it would haunt him worse than he had ever haunted anything as a ghost. He would lie awake at night flexing his hands where he had brushed pinkies with someone, or desperately press shoulders close with whoever sat near him at the club, or would close his eyes as he passed through lifers on the boulevard and pretend that the glimpse into their souls was in any way the same thing as the solid warmth of actually touching them.

(When Caleb touched him, rare as it was, Willie treasured it. Whether it was a soft tousle of the hair or a clap on the shoulder or a light, playful brush of Willie’s cheek, Willie had held onto it as long as possible and tucked it away in his heart to come back to later. He realises now, of course, how fucked up that was. That Caleb must have known, must have been able to tell, and used that to his advantage, to make Willie - anyway. He hates thinking about it, now).

Even his first few weeks at Julie’s, in hindsight, he remembers the way he would sit on Ray’s kitchen counter as he cooked and just wish, more than anything, that Ray would rest a hand on his shoulder as he reached above Willie’s head to get spices from the cabinet. Remembers the gentle analysis in Ray’s eyes as he had asked Willie if there was anything he needed, remembers how it felt to shake his head, stomach churning with that same awful, freezing embarrassment.

It’s just so different to now.

Now, he knows he can ask. It’s hard, sometimes, still. Sometimes he can feel his cheeks glow, his hands fidget, his eyes wander. But it’s always worth it.

And right now, he’s lying with his head pillowed on Alex’s chest, comfortable and just the right amount of soft. Alex’s arms wrapped loosely around his back, fingertips indenting his sides just slightly even as Alex sleeps, even as his chest rises and falls slowly underneath him. Everything in Willie feels quiet.

He tilts his chin up a little so he can look at Alex’s face, peaceful, lips parted, still asleep. He looks beautiful, and calm, and like everything Willie’s ever wanted. For just this moment, there’s no urge in him to do anything crazy, no need to go very fast or scream very loud or claw at his own chest to get the ice feeling out.

Instead, his limbs hum happily with the warmth of being held, and he can’t remember what winter ever felt like when he was alive. All he can think of is the security of Alex’s lanky, goofy, graceful body sprawled out, pressed to his at every possible point, the feeling of Alex’s favourite pink t-shirt against Willie’s cheek. He reaches up and runs a finger along the inside of Alex’s wrist, up to his hand, and links their fingers together. Alex makes a soft noise, instinctively squeezes Willie’s hand back.

Willie closes his eyes again, takes in a deep breath, and does his best to beam this exact feeling back to himself in the past. One day, he thinks, you’re going to get to feel like this. He’s not manic. He’s not scared. All he feels is sleepy, and warm, and comfortable. He squeezes Alex’s hand one more time, and lets himself be lulled back to sleep by the gentle tide of Alex’s breaths.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #willex #willie #alex mercer #not touch starved willie... my kryptonite....#my fic #Anonymous

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stormyoceansmain · 3 years

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help tfatws ep 5 unhinged me so much that i had a dream last night where the series ended w sam and bucky back in sarah’s kitchen, late at night when the rest of the house is quiet, just doing the dishes and talking while marvin gaye plays softly on the radio 🥺

ANON. ANON OH MY GOD. JUST READING ABOUT IT SOUNDS SO INTIMATE I HAD TO WALK THIS OFF FOR A SECOND BECAUSE IT WAS TOO MUCH. the way i can picture this perfectly hold on i need to sit down again im WEAK.

and it would be such a nice image to end the season on but it would also work perfectly as a missing scene in episode 5, because there's a whole period of time between sam telling bucky he can stay at his house and bucky waking up on the couch where we didn't see what happened. and i can easily imagine them having a family dinner with sarah and sam's nephews, and after it bucky and sam offer to do the dishes since sarah cooked, and then she has to put the kids in bed and bids them goodnight as well, which leaves sam and bucky in the warm light of the kitchen while the radio plays like you said, drinking and talking and [SCREAMS]

NOT EVEN GONNA PRETEND I FEEL ANYTHING OTHER THAN INSANE ABOUT THIS THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME ANON ILU

#THE QUIET INTIMACY OF IT ALL I LOVE THIS #AND IF WE GET ANYTHING ANYWHERE NEAR THIS IN THE LAST EPISODE I WILL IMPLODE #okay im gonna stop screaming im gonna calm down #sambucky #winterfalcon

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touchmycoat · 3 years

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cnovel!anon: yeah, I won't comment on the drama to avoid spoilers, but there were major changes from the novel (it felt like one of those shows that starts filming before the writer is done with the source material, so it makes up stuff after getting all the characters in place - see Fullmetal Alchemist, GOT, etc.). The drama does do whump on both of them (though I am not as into whumping a woobie; which is why ilu & your LQG :P). And the actor for Wang Zhi was really good (aged up, though).

cont'd: I like WZ added to the Suizhou pairing, because he's extra spicy :P Also because he's more likely to take initiative than Suizhou (and he'll roll his eyes extravagantly while giving the push). Novel!Wang Zhi is a bit more bratty than drama!Wang Zhi, but I love them both. I really love how MXS explores the different ways people enact their principles, like Yu Ai in trying to save the sect destroys its central tenets, and how those reflect on the main charas and their choices.

I entirely see what you mean by the major changes, sigh. I don't love woobie whump either, as beautiful as darren chen is. Also the whump just wasn't landing?? Maybe I need to check out the sui zhou whump episodes smh, but yeah I skipped to eps 42-44 to see the legendary given-to-the-antagonist scenes but,, it wasn't even that whumpy,,,,

omg wang zhi. Sleuth's casting decisions were overall hella solid for me and I kind of love that wang zhi genuinely looks like an 18 year old. He's not actually a baby is he?? I never know with these actors. Novel!Wang Zhi is totally a brat and the kind that I eat up with a spoon (i'm a thousand percent sure I'll write him at some point, he's just too good for dialogue). damn right he's SO spicy. Also there's that whole bit where Tang Fan volunteers to go to the warzone lake place with him and he's genuinely taken aback and reflects on Tang Fan's 為人？I love how much it speaks to Tang Fan's goals and character that he can "tame" someone as 囂張 as Wang Zhi—he didn't do it with that goal in mind necessarily but goddamn if the 緣分 isn't delicious. On the flip side I also love that Wang Zhi 領情了, and does genuinely come to him repeatedly for help without holding back his own shitty personality lmfao. Appreciating Tang Fan's intellect is one thing, but he clearly also appreciates Tang Fan's character and knows he can unleash every single one of his 霸道總裁 tendencies without Tang Fan taking it personally.

(though okay, dislocating tang fan's arm and slapping tang fan across the face is still to date the sexiest thing to have happened in the novel. C'mon Sui Zhou, step up your game.)

The Suizhou developments are uhhhh, bone broth?? Delicious and clean and takes time to cook all the flavors into. It's so SLOW but i guess it's lovely. all the nuances are there and I really do appreciate how Sui Zhou's character is laid out. It's precisely Tang Fan's capabilities that he appreciates and loves so the (fun but admittedly a bit 矯情) tropes of jealousy and passionate whatevers don't play out along the conventional scripts. I love that he's taking his time with the confession and the waiting for a reply and the romance (even if he's literally wifed himself for Tang Fan already).

(also i cracked up at the wang zhi-sui zhou dynamic of WZ: "hey bitch, bitch, cunt, asshole, bitch," SZ: 冷眼, WZ: "ugh tang runqing how do you stand him")

#yeah yu ai is still one of my fav mxs characters lmfaaoooooo #it's also hilarious to compare tang fan to cui buqu #astounding intellects but one lovely and one meanmeanmean #they'd get along famously but in the same way as wang zhi #where tang fan is independently friends with him but he's not friends with any of tang fan's other friends lol #sleuth #anon #meng xi shi #needless to say you don't have to worry about spoilering the drama #tell me everything lmfao

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mulletcal · 4 years

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Can you write about one of the boys asking his nieces and nephews to be apart of the wedding? I need some uncle!5sos in my life

hi anon you sent this in LITERALLY MONTHS AGO but i always kept it cause i really wanted to write it and anyways hi ilu thank you hopefully you see this

***

Ever since the twins were born, Ashton had hovered around. At first, you weren’t sure if he just didn’t understand boundaries, since he often stayed over, or if he was just excited about this new additions to the family.

He would sleep on the couch, often with Kaia laying on his chest, and you would have to scoop her up to change her and put her into her actual bed. Often when Calum and you woke up, Ashton had already done his morning yoga and was cooking breakfast. He checked on the girls always before making breakfast, just in case one of them happened to be awake, at which point he would offer up a bottle you had pumped the night before, or just strap them to his chest and sway softly, singing to them as he cooked.

You had talked with Ashton the one night, Maia’s head tucked under his chin as she made soft coos. He told you that he always wanted to be a dad, and it made him so excited and happy to see his family growing and that Calum had that. You made sure he knew that one day he’d too have that and more, since he stated he wanted upwards of 8 children, and he just smiled softly, not quite sure if he believed you.

Ashton met his partner at the girls second birthday party. A friend of your cousin tagged along with them, and from the moment they walked through the door, Ashton was gone. You saw it, as soon as they met eyes, you saw the way he melted... And Ashton knew he was a goner.

His partner was so good with your children, and had become one of your closest friends in turn. They would come over for play dates with the girls, letting Maia and Kaia dress them up however they pleased, and putting on their best posh accent during their tea parties.

The girls had asked once why Ashton referred to them as his partner, which sparked a rather interesting conversation between the group of you. As you tried to explain about gender neutral terms to two almost four year olds, they interrupted; it turns out they were more offended that Ashton’s partner was a cowboy and no one told them, rather than the fact that Ashton called them partner.

After that moment, they often greeted them by saying “Howdy, partner,” in their best impression of a southern accent that they could.

When the day finally came that Ashton told you and Calum that he was going to ask them to marry him, you couldn’t hold back your excitement, already planning of different venues they could look at.

Needless to say, they said yes, and the next step they needed to take (well, in their minds), was solidifying the wedding party. Ashton settled on Calum as his best man, and his partner chose you to stand by their side as well. When it came to the subject of flower girls, Ashton asked if you could grab the girls so he could talk to them.

He had asked if he could talk to them in private, but being nosy as you were, you couldn’t help but to linger around the corner to listen in.

“Okay I’m sure Mama and Dada told you that I’m going to be getting married, yeah?” Ashton asked, resting his head on top of Maia’s while they sat in his lap. The two of them nodded, curls bouncing enthusiastically with them as they did. “Well, I wanted to ask you both if you wanted to be the flower girls at the wedding.”

You had hoped that Ashton chose to wear ear plugs, because the resulting squeals that came from the girls were deafening even at so far away.

“Is it gonna be a southern wedding? Are they gonna invite their other cowboy friends?” Maia asked, wide brown eyes looking up at Ashton, who simply chuckled.

“No, sadly. No southern wedding, but we may be able to throw in some line dancing if you’re lucky.” Pressing a kiss to the top of each of their heads, he hugged them close, “But is that a yes then? You wanna be flower girls?”

“Will you make sure to have the wedding after baby brother is born so he can be a flower girl too?” Kaia raised her eyebrows at him as she spoke, her tone demanding a specific answer.

Ashton laughed again, biting his lower lip to keep from laughing too hard at the innocent question, “I wouldn’t have it any other way love.”

tag list: @talkfastromance4 @calmlftv @notinthesameguey @irwinkitten @blackbutterfliescal @treatallwithkindness @another-lonely-heart @karajaynetoday @bestyearssos @cheekysos @suchalonelysunflower @aquarius-hood1996 @wildflower-cth @ashtonlftv

#ashton irwin #uncle!ash #dad!cal #requests: afi #cleaning out my inbox #Anonymous

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laurelnose · 4 years

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Im going to need u to explain to me what u said in the tags of the modding post in Simpleton words cause I'm. A fucking idiot when it comes to computer shit and the arm wrestling in TW2 is genuinely the most stressful thing ive ever had to endure in a video game

Also i forgot to mention this in my last ask abt being an idiot— i love u! You're rly cool. That's all ^`^

aw! ilu too anon.

ok first of all: if the arm wrestling is the only thing about w2 that you want to fix you don’t have to fuck about with any of the unpacking nonsense! you do have to be playing on PC. I’m using this mod to always win dice poker/arm wrestling. steps as follow:

download whichever version you want (always win only arm wrestling, always win only dice poker, always win both). the file is a zip folder and you can put it wherever you want.

extract the contents of the zip, also to wherever you want. inside is a README.txt and a file called base_scripts.dzip. you can ignore the readme, it’s just the description of the mod from the nexus site in a text file.

find your witcher 2 folder. if you’re playing on Steam, you’re looking for something like C:\Program Files\Steam\steamapps\common\the witcher 2\CookedPC. if you’re not sure, here’s how to view your Steam installation path. if you’re on GOG it’s usually C:\GOG Games\The Witcher 2\CookedPC. if not, you can find the installation path in the GOG launcher by clicking Witcher 2, then the settings button to the right of the center top bar, then “Manage Installation > Show folder”.

there should be a base_scripts.dzip already in the CookedPC folder—copy it somewhere else for backup or rename it to something like base_scripts_original.dzip

go back to your downloaded mod folder and drag and drop the mod’s base_scripts.dzip into the Witcher 2 CookedPC folder. if it asks if you want to replace the existing base_scripts.dzip say yes (but make sure to have backed up or renamed the original first!)

ta-da! load up W2 and go dunk on some arm wrestlers.

if you want to fix a BUNCH of things about W2 it’s a little harder.

base_scripts.dzip is basically a special kind of zip folder with a bunch of smaller script files zipped into it. so for instance, the arm wrestling mod changes only the minigame scripts, while Conversation Skills Always Succeed changes only the scene_function script. technically, those don’t conflict, except the changed files have been packed up into two different base_scripts.dzip, and you can only have one base_scripts.dzip.

some mods don’t mess with base_scripts.dzip at all. True Encumbrance Remover (sets all item weights to 0 because inventory management sucks) is another one you can just drag and drop right into CookedPC, not even any file replacement required. the way to check if you’re going to need to do some fuckery for nexus mods is on the Files tab; click “Preview file contents” and if you see a base_script.dzip in there, it’ll require some fiddling if you want to use it with other base_script.dzip mods. how to do the fiddling:

you will need:

Gibbed RED Tools

probably a copy of W2 on GOG because Steam’s a little bitch about DRM. if you have it on Steam you can redeem a free GOG copy of W2 here using the CD key you find in the Steam launcher here:

you can try doing this modding process with Steam files, but it’s entirely possible that it’ll throw errors for you talking about file access, and if so... switch to GOG and install Witcher 2 again. i know it’s a pain to have multiple launchers but if you’re willing to fuck around this much with mods it’s not THAT much of a pain.

ok! step 1: getting into base_scripts.dzip with Gibbed RED tools

download Gibbed RED Tools and extract the contents. you can put the resulting unzipped folder wherever you like, just make sure you know where.

open up the windows command prompt—open the start menu, type in “cmd”, right click the program that comes up, and hit “run as administrator”. SCARY BLACK PROGRAMMING BOX. it’s ok all we have to do is type some stuff in! hit enter after every command and be sure to include all the spaces and quotation marks.

hit enter! ok now we’re inside the Gibbed RED Tools folder. we want to tell it where the original base_scripts.dzip is, and what folder it should unpack that file into. create a new folder somewhere for the unpacked files to live and then type in the next command!

first command moves us from the default folder into the folder that contains our Gibbed RED tools. the command structure is:

cd "path to Gibbed RED tools"

so for instance:

cd "C:\Users\laurelnose\Downloads\Gibbed RED Tools"

it should unfurl a whole long list of file names! you can navigate to the folder you told it to unpack to and see all of the little script files that make up base_scripts.dzip. now we’re cooking.

the command structure is:

Gibbed.RED.Unpack.exe "location of base_scripts.dzip" "place to unzip file to"

so for example:

Gibbed.RED.Unpack.exe "C:\GOG Games\The Witcher 2\CookedPC\base_scripts.dzip" "C:\Users\laurelnose\UnpackedBaseScript"

go back to nexus mods and pick out all the base_scripts.dzip mods you want. say, Conversation Skills and Dice Poker/Arm Wrestling. or even more than that, as many as you want! repeat these steps for EACH MOD INDIVIDUALLY:

find out which files they modified. Conversation Skills is nice because they say right in their description that they modified game\scenes\scene_functions.ws . other modders, it’s a little tougher; Poker/Wrestling doesn’t say, so i had to poke around in the “posts” tab until i found a user saying that it modified game\minigames\dicepoker.ws and game\minigames\wristwrestling.ws

download the mod, and extract the contents into a folder. create a new folder wherever you’d like—name it whatever, but you’re going to be making one for each mod so to keep them straight something like ModNameUnpacked might be best.

go back to command line. if you closed it before, repeat the cd command to get back into the Gibbed RED Tools folder, otherwise you can just use the unpacking command again to unzip the mod’s base_scripts.dzip into your ModNameUnpacked folder.

open up the unpacked folder and navigate through the folder structure until you find the file they said they modified. so for Conversation Skills, find scene_functions.ws in the game\scenes folder.

for instance:

Gibbed.RED.Unpack.exe "C:\Users\laurelnose\Downloads\ConversationMod\base_scripts.dzip" "C:\Users\laurelnose\Downloads\ConversationModUnpacked"

pull up your unzipped original base_scripts.dzip from the previous section. move the modified file from the mod folder into the same place in the original base_scripts.dzip folder. so scene_functions.ws goes in game\scenes in your original base_scripts.dzip folder. let it replace/overwrite the original scene_functions.ws.

repeat this for each mod individually. if you’re doing a lot of mods you’re going to end up with a lot of folders! we can delete them later. if by some unfortunate chance you want two mods that modify the same .ws file you’d have to actually figure out which lines each one modified and rewrite your original .ws file to include both, so... idk don’t get yourself into this situation lmao

ok, now that you’ve pulled out the modified scripts from each mod you wanted and put them into your unpacked original base_scripts folder, it is time to pack that sucker up into a regular .dzip again!

back into command line. again if you closed it before, use the cd command to get back to your Gibbed RED Tools folder, otherwise the new command we’re using is:

Gibbed.RED.Pack.exe "location to put the packed folder\base_scripts.dzip" "location of files to pack up"

this time it won’t put out a whole list of files, because it didn’t pull out any files, it packed them up all neatly. check the location you told it to put base_scripts.dzip and if it’s there you’re golden!

so for example:

Gibbed.RED.Pack.exe "C:\Users\laurelnose\base_scripts.dzip" "C:\Users\laurelnose\UnpackedBaseScript"

pull up your Witcher 2 CookedPC folder—if you haven’t already backed up or renamed your original base_scripts.dzip, do that—and move your newly-created base_scripts.dzip full of all your lovely mods into the CookedPC folder!

you can now delete all of the ModNameUnpacked folders you created. if you need to start over, just delete the modded base_scripts.dzip and either move your backup into the CookedPC folder or change the name of the original back to base_scripts.dzip and that should undo all of your changes. worst case scenario you have to uninstall and reinstall, but that shouldn’t happen if you backed up your base_scripts.dzip!

#hopefully this makes sense!#these games are a pain in the ass to mod it rly makes me nostalgic for like... minecraft #also unfortunately i do not think GOG has achievements for W2 #i think this is a small price to pay in exchange for having fun playing the game but ymmv #asks #anonymous

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jlf23tumble · 5 years

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Fic rec anon here, and I'm blanking in the moment! I know you have a lot of recs and I love them all. Maybe your favourite AUs? Broadly speaking? Seeing some of them might help jog me into more specific categories ! xx

Gotcha, sort of like my prison rec list, only I like to think of it more in terms of what would I have on my phone to read when I’m bored and traveling, lol. Obvs, this sort of list is super hard, but having it focused on AUs kinda helps? At any rate, this isn’t a deep dive, it’s just my top level, so hopefully it’ll spark you. These are in no particular order, so come back if you want more!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, by Blake (honestly, ANYTHING in this fandom by Blake, I file this one under hot and hilarious, but every line is just swooooon). Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a makeup artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full-time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles.Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right.

Once Upon a Dream, by objectlesson (again, ANYTHING by Phoenix, and most of it is canon, but where to even start with her AUs, jesus god, I struggled to rec just one, so I went with the AU she gifted me, ilu!!!!). “M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay.” Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

knock knock, i love you, by @thelovejandles aka beautlouis (another one of my fave authors in this fandom, proof that wips DO finish, and they’re absolutely worth it). Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

Tied Down, by @ham-palpert (the twists and turns here, my goddd, just masterful) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere (needs ao3 account; I love desert roadtrips, and this captures that vibe perfectly, plus it’s hilarious). For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. Or, a roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by @magicalrocketships aka sunsetsmog (aka the very best wip on earth, I weep with joy whenever I get the notif). In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker. Or Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

just call me inspiration, by @hereforlou (in which I *am* Liam Payne, porn editor!) The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

Buried Like Treasure, by @becomeawendybird aka quickedween (marcel marcel marcel!!!). Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps. Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

into another serotonin overflow, by @mercutionotromeo (this story packs a LOT into a little, it helped inspire my sideblog with smaller fic recs, actually). Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.

Turning Page, by @daisyharry aka purpledaisy (pretty much every on-set picture I see of Harry these days just makes me tag it for this fic). “You wanna buy Harry a drink?” Louis lets his eyes drip back to Harry, to his wide eyes and the way his shoulders curve down. He really is pretty – Louis will be the first one to admit it and the last one to ever say it out loud. Louis almost smirks and his lips twitch as he tilts his head, “Not particularly, no.” An AU where Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

hush. by wankerville (this story is achingly evocative of just about every shitty small American town, but my god is it beautiful, the sweetness of how it ends). “I don't like you like that, Harry.” “See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.” Or an AU where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

Three French Hems, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (I wish I could pick just ONE of my top three from these two, but alas...do persimmons smell like come? discuss). In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (see above, pretty much, and how happy I am that the tweets still show up! with Dame Julie Andrews even!!). Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry's just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat... until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

Wild and Unruly, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (Iconic, even the abstract is iconic, everything still holds up. oh for cute, etc. etc.). Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by loadedgunn (another one that inspired my sideblog dedicated to short fics! So much greatness packed in, Jesus, it’s in my top five for sure). Louis reenacts his first time, and Harry wants to be his good girl.

“burn this flame” by @rainbowninja aka rainbowninja167 (anytime I reread this, I smile...filed under hot and hilarious). When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.

Challenging Nature: A Look into Male Lactation, by @jaerie (hands down, one of my fave kinks, handled fantastically well...and this isn’t the author’s only one!). Even taking into account all the bizarre things Harry has subjected himself to in the past for the sake of an article, Harry has received his strangest assignment yet. It comes up as a random misunderstanding in a meeting and builds into a conversation — can men breastfeed? Internet searches reveal documented cases of male lactation popping up at different times throughout history, but are any of them true? Can a man will himself into lactating? Harry has two months to make it happen.

like how your hands feel me up and down, by ballsdeepinjesus (this author wrote a lot of my faves back in the day, I have so many ~thoughts about the amazing writers in this particular era). “It’s -- you’re tight,” Louis chokes. “It’s tight, I mean. It’s. Yes.” His hand is curved around his hip now, squeezing lightly. “Tight’s good, right?” Harry murmurs, batting his eyelashes. He almost can’t believe himself. “Very good,” Louis grunts. Or louis works in a halloween shop and harry needs a costume.

baby look what you've done to me, by ballsdeepinjesus (see above; even the username kills me). The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. Or louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.

Take Our Bodies Higher, by @littlelouishiccups (I’m something of a connoisseur of the phone sex trope, so the way this author flips it and makes *Harry* the operator plus what ensues? chef’s kiss!). Harry wasn’t often caught off guard at his job anymore. He called different men Sir, Master, or Daddy for work almost every week, but he’d never been told he was a good boy in a voice quite like that. In which Harry is a phone sex operator and Louis dials a wrong number.

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles (I’d rec this for their jobs alone, but everything in it, just wow). “Do you think you could trust anyone enough to have full control over you?” he asks into the night, hoping his sentence won’t break their bubble. It doesn’t, if the way Harry’s eyes meet his is any indication.“What do you mean?” Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper, rough from the singing they had done earlier. Louis wants to keep this memory forever.“You know, if someone wanted to, uhm,” he coughs, “to tie you up, or blindfold you.” Or a friends to lovers AU where Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan.

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, by sarcasticfluentry (needs ao3 account; I often stare at the wall and wonder what another installment in this universe would be, fuckkkkk, it’s so good, I only wish the social media was still in it). 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

If You Asked Me if I Love Him (I'd Lie), by allyasavedtheday (needs an ao3 account; it’s a sequel, but I reread it over and over vs. the first piece). Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styleses who definitely don't believe them.

Damn, I could go on, but I’ll stop! My sideblog dedicated to short fics is @marathonficbreak, and it has some smaller ones, if this is too intimidating, lmao...hope some of them are new for you, enjoy!

#fic rec #long post #i do have deeper dives but this is a nice representation of my fave AUs #one direction

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howllscastle · 5 years

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Alright what should I make you then? What foods are you carving right now? 😊 (by the way I'm not trying to poison you, cooking is like the one thing I'm good at ahah) Ilu too by the way 💘💘 -gf anon

u know what sounds good ,,,, some waffles

#i haven't had waffles in so long despite having a waffle iron 🗿#and me TOO #well . i can bake rly well #i may not be able to do a lot of things well but at least i can make some damn good brownies #gf anon #mail✉

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simonxriley · 6 years

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Hi it's Skylar/Tachunka anon again, please do these two for the ultimate edition.

MY FAVORITE ANON EVER (ILU)!!! This might be a little long ‘cause you know I LOVE to talk about these two! And thank you!!!

Who was the one to propose:

Tachanka! Spoilers, you’ll actually see the proposal in Jade Helm. It’s an emotional roller-coaster and not your typical one either.

Who stressed more over wedding planning:

They both do! Wedding planning is hard and they both want it to be perfect. They only plan on marrying once.

Who decorated the house:

Skylar. Tachanka didn’t really have a preference, mainly because he spent the majority of his adult life on a base. But Skylar secretly inquires some (a lot) of Alex’s heritage into their homes.

Who does the cooking:

They both do (mostly tachanka). They like cooking together, they like spending time in the kitchen making some delicious food. But Tachanka LOVES to cook for Skylar, any chance he gets he’s making her something. (Usually a fave Russian dish of his).

Who is more organized:

Work wise, they both are. Makes life a lot easier when they know where their stuff is. At home they’re both pretty disorganized, only Tachanka has his guns organized. (Priorities right?)

Who initiates bedroom fun:

Tachanka! But Skylar does to from time to time, especially after a long day at work.

Who suggested kids first:

Skylar. It was kinda on a whim too. They were just taking a long walk one day and Skylar noticed a family in the distance (this is after they marry btw) and she thought about the future for a few moments then asked him what he thought about kids.

Who’s more dominant:

Tachanka. Only ‘cause Skylar likes it and she also might just be doing it to boost his ego ‘cause she loves to hear how cocky he can get.

Who’s the cuddler:

Skylar. She’s very affectionate and loves to cuddle up to Tachanka, whether in bed or on the couch. Either way it’ll happen.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:

Tachanka is the big spoon and Skylar is the little. On rare occasions Skylar can be the big spoon.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:

Just spending time together. Whether it’s going for a walk or a night out with friends, they both just like to be in each others company.

Who comes home drunk at 3am:

Tachanka after a night out with Glaz, Kapkan and Fuze. I headcanon once Tachanka is drunk off his ass he starts talking about how much he loves Skylar and Glaz records the whole thing and sends it to her with!!

Who kills the spiders:

For the most part Tachanka. The only way Skylar will is if she knows it venomous and he isn’t there. Or she might call in Kapkan to help her xD

Who falls asleep first:

Skylar.

A head canon:

I have so many for them ahhh but I’ll do a cute one! A few years after they wed they have twins (Konstantin and Marianna) who learns their first swear word from uncle Glaz.

Their relationship summed up in a gif:

I couldn’t find the perfect gif to sum up their relationship :( but i guess this one will do….

Do they have any “rituals”?

Not really, and it’s kinda hard to have any in their line of work.

Who is louder?

Tachanka! I mean that’s pretty self explanatory lol

Who is more experimental?

Both are, they love trying new things.

Who takes more risks?

Skylar, she loves the adrenaline she gets from it.

Do they fuck or make love?

In a way both, it all depends on the mood they’re in.

Lights on or off?

On! Tachanka loves to see her face contorting in pleasure.

Who is more likely to be caught masturbating?

Skylar!! And only because Tachanka loves to turn her on when he’s not there so she decided to pleasure herself and uh maybe not the best idea when you share a room with someone!!

Who is more likely to suggest a threesome?

You think Tachanka is gonna share her with anyone? I don’t think so….okay maybe Glaz.

Who comes first?

Skylar.

Who is better at oral and who prefers it?

Tachanka is better at it and Skylar prefers it.

Who is more submissive?

Skylar.

Who usually initiates things?

Tachanka.

Who is more sensitive?

Skylar. She’s a Pisces.

Who has the most patience?

Tachanka. Which makes Skylar feel so at ease and at peace with their relationship.

Which kinks do they share?

Dirty talk…..and Sky especially loves it if it’s in Russian.

#anonymous #long post #tachanka x skylar #oc skylar jackson #alexsandr senaviev #tachanka

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