#ANGELA YOU DESERVED SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU GOT

[hirokiyuu]

i thought i liked angela a normal amount and then i started ruina nad now every time she is on screen i start screaming

[fluentmoviequoter]

Broken Heart Mender

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!reader

Summary: After hearing Tim tell Angela why he's not in a relationship with you, you pull away and make yourself sick with a broken heart. After too long without hearing from you, Tim finds you and promises to make everything better.

Warnings: reader gets sick (vomiting, headache, losing weight, crying), slight miscommunication, angst to fluff & hurt/comfort

Word Count: 2.4k+ words

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

“You know, you’re here a lot for someone who doesn’t work here,” Smitty points out.

“And you’re here a lot for someone who doesn’t work at all,” you argue playfully.

“She’s got a point,” Tim adds, shrugging at Smitty’s offended look.

You smile at Tim as you walk out, needing to return to your own station after spending too long on paperwork (to visit Tim). He’s been your friend since you were a rookie, and now he’s so much more.

You and Tim are safe places for one another; whenever one needs it, the other becomes an unlicensed therapist, a no-strings-attached hugger or cuddler on bad days, and a good listener, no matter the time or problem. Part of why you’re so willing to do such things for Tim is because you have feelings for him, a long-harbored crush that grows each time he’s kind to you or asks for your advice.

Tim, however, will happily listen to your problems and provide a shoulder to cry on, but he prefers to show his care by being what some (Angela) might call a ‘protective menace.’ He’s had feelings for you for as long as he can remember and shows it by staying close and keeping you out of harm’s way.

Whenever you run into each other at work, you find a way to stay together, and while Tim protects you, you try your hardest to make him smile. You like doing small things for him to make him happy because he deserves it. Likewise, he stays close because you deserve more than anyone can ever give you.

The only problem is that you’re both scared to let your feelings show, so you disguise it as friendship, a special bond that no one can break. Only a few people, those willing to look, can see that there’s more to your actions and words than a time-tested and bulletproof friendship.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim sighs when he sees Angela sitting at his desk.

“Don’t you have work to do?” he asks.

“You have questions to answer,” she replies, moving out of his seat and blocking the door. “I want to know about you and your friend.”

Tim rolls his eyes at her tone and air quotes. She has asked him about you before, but she’s relentless.

“Why aren’t you in a real relationship? Why haven’t you asked her out?” Angela inquires.

“Not your business, Lopez,” Tim answers.

✯✯✯✯✯

You slow as you near Tim’s office, his voice and Angela’s drawing your attention as your smile drops.

“Just tell me why you won’t let her in that last little bit,” Angela demands.

“Not that it is any of your concern, but we won’t work. We’re not made for each other, we’re not soulmates, and we will not be good for each other, not like that,” Tim snaps.

Swallowing, you feel like your heart physically drops into your stomach, making you nauseous as you fight tears. You leave before Tim or Angela notice you’re outside, unwilling to see Tim after learning how he feels.

✯✯✯✯✯

“What does that mean, Timothy?” Angela asks, quieter as she digs for the real reason.

Tim shakes his head, not ready to admit that he doesn’t consider himself relationship material. Regardless, you deserve someone better than him, though he has never considered it the other way around: you are too good for him and always have been.

“You’re right, it’s not my business. But it is hers,” Angela reminds him before leaving.

✯✯✯✯✯

Distancing yourself from Tim is hard, but after his comments to Angela, it’s what you have to do. Tim doesn’t have feelings for you and thinks you aren’t good enough, which hurts. More than your feelings, you are mentally distraught. Your emotions are all over the place, swinging aimlessly from anger to denial to an overwhelming sadness that makes it impossible to do anything but cry.

After a long night of fighting with your emotions, you try to eat breakfast and realize that the hurt is physical, too. Rushing to the bathroom, you empty your stomach before moving to the floor as your tears continue. Losing Tim is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced, and this is only the beginning.

The alarm on your phone goes off, and you pull yourself off the bathroom floor and get ready, ignoring the pain building behind your eyes and the churning sensation in the pit of your stomach. It will be a long day, but if you can power through, you will take some time off next week.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim is neck-deep in paperwork for a Metro case, but every spare second he has is spent calling and texting you. You don’t answer, and Tim can't do anything as his worry increases. He realizes Angela was right, and you deserve to know how he feels and why he keeps you so close, yet not close enough.

✯✯✯✯✯

By the end of the day, you haven’t been able to keep a single thing down, and you’re not sure if the emotional or physical pain is worse. Collapsing onto your couch, you let the tears begin anew as your week of PTO begins and your life as you know it ends.

Each day seems worse than the last, as you get sicker and sadder with each passing moment. When you summon the courage to step on the scale on Sunday morning, just three days after hearing Tim’s comments, you’ve lost a concerning amount of weight. You know it’s dangerous, but between the constant crying and the anxiety and sadness eating at you, there isn’t much you can do. There isn’t much you want to do except find a way to make yourself good enough for Tim Bradford.

✯✯✯✯✯

It’s been days since Tim heard from you, and he’s worried. When Mid-Wilshire gets called to assist your station, he hopes to see you. Tim searches the crowd of blue until he finds your partner.

“Bradford,” your partner greets.

Tim asks where you are, curious as to why you aren’t together, and your partner explains that you’ve been off work since Saturday, sick with something.

“Do you know if she’s okay?” Tim asks.

“All I know is it has to be bad for her to take this much time off,” your partner explains with an apologetic shrug before being called away.

Tim’s protectiveness kicks into overdrive, his worry keeping him from being able to focus on anything else. He finds his captain and tells him what's going on before asking if he can go check on you.

As he drives to your apartment, Tim hopes it’s not as bad as it sounds while beating himself up for not coming to visit you sooner. The ignored calls should have been a sign that something was wrong, but he let work get in the way. Though you aren’t there to hear it, Tim promises he will never neglect you again.

✯✯✯✯✯

It takes a minute to realize that the pounding sound is someone knocking and not an effect of your headache. Stumbling to the door, you answer it without checking who it is. When you see Tim’s face, you try to close the door, but you’re too weak, and Tim is too quick.

He rushes inside, looking at your pale face, unruly hair, and how your clothes hang off of you: an indicator you're unhealthily losing weight. It’s enough to push his protective side to action even as he fears the worst.

“You should go,” you tell him.

Tim ignores you, walking to your kitchen and setting water on the oven to boil. While he waits, Tim straightens up your apartment, moving quickly from room to room. He hasn’t spoken to you yet, and as you watch him, your emotions take over again.

With a few tears running down your face, you raise your voice and say his name. “You need to go.”

“No,” he answers simply. “You need help, you’re obviously sick and you’re not answering my calls.”

Tim's presence and how he acts like nothing has changed, and he’s still the protective friend he pretends to be, hurts you.

“Tim, get out!” you demand.

“Let me help,” he argues.

Shaking your head, you walk to your room and close the door, curling around your pillow as you cry. Each noise Tim makes in the kitchen feels like he’s laughing at you, and you don’t know how much more of this you can take.

He lets himself into your room after knocking, setting a mug of tea beside your bed, and rubbing your back. He notices how you stiffen but thinks it’s because you’re sick.

“What do you want to eat?” he asks.

“I want you to go.”

Tim nods, more to himself than you, and walks out of your bedroom. 

You hear the door close behind him and roll over, unable to decide if you want to drink the tea or throw it at the wall.

✯✯✯✯✯

The following morning, you wake, and the first thing you remember is Tim leaving yesterday. Yes, you asked him to, but it still hurts. The cold mug beside your bed is a cruel reminder of everything you’ve lost. Rolling out of bed, you reach for the water on the nightstand. After the first drink, you race for the bathroom, wondering how long it takes for a broken heart to heal.

Someone pulls your hair out of your face, a kind hand pressed to your back as you cry. When you feel able, you lean back against the tub behind you. Tim moves back, wetting a washcloth before he kneels beside you. As he wipes your face and neck with the cool rag, you wonder what he’d do if you gave him an out.

“I heard what you said,” you admit quietly. “That we wouldn’t be good together.”

Tim slows his movements as he listens to you.

“It hurt.”

Fresh tears break over your waterline, tracking down your cheeks. Tim realizes that he’s the reason you feel so bad; that one comment made to protect his feelings, to hide them, made you feel so bad that you’re now physically sick.

“Hey,” he begins, moving to sit before you when you turn away. “Listen, I know you don’t want to believe me, but I only said that to get Angela to leave me alone, to protect myself. I don’t think that.”

“But you said it,” you point out tearily.

“I know, and I’m sorry. The truth is we wouldn’t be good together, but not because of you, never because of you. It’s me; I am not made for relationships and I’m not good enough for you.”

You choke on a sob, leaning toward Tim. He extends his arm, letting you move against his side.

“Since we met, I’ve wanted more,” he whispers against your hair. “But I was scared you’d realize I’m broken and leave… like everyone else.”

Shaking harder against his side, you cling to him as all your emotions mix. There is a chance this is a dream, but if you have to lose Tim, this seems like the best way to say goodbye.

“C’mon,” Tim urges gently, pulling you with him as he stands.

With a gentle hand on your back and one on your shoulder, Tim leads you to the couch. Covering you with a blanket, he promises to come right back. When he returns with a glass of water and a pack of crackers, you turn toward him.

“Are you going to leave?” you whisper.

Tim shakes his head. “Never.”

Nodding, you accept the crackers. After you eat a few and drink half the water Tim gave you, you sit back.

“I cleaned your apartment last night,” Tim tells you. “You want to change and clean up?”

You take a deep breath, and Tim senses your apprehension before adding, “I’ll help you.”

Taking Tim’s hand, you follow him back into your bedroom. After you change into the clothes he hands you, you sit on the bathroom vanity and let him wash your face and secure your hair.

“When’s the last time you ate? More than a few bites, I mean,” Tim asks, laying a hand on your thigh.

You shrug before admitting, “Last Wednesday.”

Tim’s jaw clenches, but he hides it with a quick nod. “I’m going to make you some more food. I know you probably don’t want to eat, and you don’t have to eat much, but you need something.”

Moving your hand onto Tim’s, you interlace your fingers with his. He leans in, releasing a chuckle when you throw your arms around his neck. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulls you to the edge of the vanity.

“I missed you,” you whisper in his ear.

“I missed you too,” he responds.

✯✯✯✯✯

As you dry the ends of your hair while you exit the bathroom, you feel like a new person.

“We need to talk,” Tim says when he sees you. Your smile falls, and Tim takes your hand. “Not like that,” he promises.

“Like what?” you ask, curling your legs under you as you sit beside him.

“I meant what I said, but I need to make sure you know that. I have feelings for you, I have for a long time, I’m just terrified to show them because I’m not good enough for you.”

Boldly, you press your finger to his lips to stop him. He raises his brows at your movement, smiling with you.

“Yes, you are. You’re more than good enough. That’s why I fell in love with you.”

Tim pulls your hand away from his face, kissing your finger as he does so. “Even though I broke your heart and made you sick?”

“Broken heart sickness is curable, and you’re a pretty good doctor,” you tease, leaning toward him.

“I promise to make it better, and never do it again.”

You nod, trusting him entirely. Now that you’ve had a shower and heard that Tim feels the same, your stomach growls.

“It’s working already,” Tim says.

“I’m hungry again,” you marvel, smiling at Tim.

“I’ll offer a trade,” Tim begins. “A home-cooked meal for you, and a kiss for me.”

You nod, but Tim adds, “And I promise never to lie to protect myself again. I’ll tell you exactly how I feel, as long as you do the same.”

“I feel like I love you, Tim Bradford,” you reply, pulling him in for the promised kiss.

Your kiss is better than he expected, and Tim loses himself in the feeling of you until your stomach growls again, and you laugh against his lips. Tim broke your heart, but he put it back together with a piece of his; the best-broken-heart-mender in the world was by your side all along.

[angegiarratanawriter]

Unplanned

Warnings: Smut, GP!Character, Pregnancy

Word Count: 8292

Summary: A hook up after a night at the club has unexpected consequences

After a long shoot week at the Smosh office, some of the cast decides that you all deserve a night out. So, after wrapping on your final sketch on Friday, everyone heads out to Courtney’s favorite club in hopes of being able to let loose for the night. After all, you’ve all worked hard this week and could do with blowing off some steam.

As you walk into the club with Angela and Amanda by your side, you clench your jaw in anticipation. You’ve always liked going out with your friends, but a dive bar with karaoke is much more your scene than the loud music and flashing lights. The feeling of the bass pounding through your chest is already making your heart beat faster, and you readjust the collar of your crop top to give yourself some more room to breathe.

“Bar first?” Angela asks, looking at you and Amanda.

“Sure,” you reply.

“I could use a drink,” Amanda agrees.

You follow Angela up to the bar, where she opens a tab and orders all of you drinks. It’s a little bit surprising that she knows what you want before you do, but she’s always been attentive, and you have been going out together more since you moved in with her. When the bartender comes back with your martini, you take a sip and revel in the shiver that rolls down your spine at the taste.

“Good?” Angela asks, taking a sip of her rum and coke.

“One of the better ones I’ve had,” you say before taking another sip. “It’s a little strong, though.”

“Strong’s good,” Amanda nearly yells, having to raise her voice over the music.

“True.”

Before the conversation can take a turn in a different direction, you are being joined by a couple more of your castmates. Courtney and Shayne show up together, with Arasha and Chanse right behind them. They’re quick to get their own drinks, and then Amanda is ordering a round of shots to really get the party started. You take yours immediately, wanting to get to the other side of the nausea that hits after drinking tequila.

For now, everyone seems to content to stay at the bar, and that’s fine by you. You like dancing, but it’s always better when you’re already a little bit tipsy. When Courtney orders another round of shots, you realize that you’ll probably be there sooner rather than later, not that you really mind either way. This time it’s vodka, and it goes down a little bit smoother than the tequila did.

“Hey,” you hear an unfamiliar voice say from beside you.

You look up to find a girl with short dark hair and brown eyes looking at you with a coy smile on her face. If you’re honest, the smirk reminds you a little bit of Angela. That’s the only reason that you decide to actually talk to this girl. Usually you’d shoot people down when you’re out with your friends, but you’ve got a buzz going, and you realize that this is probably going to be one of those nights where all you think about is your feelings for your roommate.

“Hey,” you say, giving the girl a smile in return.

“I’m Ava. Can I buy you a drink?”

Before you have the chance to answer, you feel a strong arm come to wrap around your waist. You almost jump out of your skin at the contact, having not been expecting it. After taking a deep breath to regain your composure, you look up to find that it’s Angela who’s come to stand next to you. She’s glaring at the girl standing across from you, but as soon as she realizes she has your attention, she gives you hers.

“Hey, some of us are gonna go hit the dance floor,” Angela says. “You coming?”

“Uh, I-” You cut yourself off when you feel Angela’s hand squeeze at your waist, a clear indicator that you coming is not a debate. “Sure, yeah.”

With a sheepish smile in apology to the girl who had offered to buy you a drink, you follow your roommate out onto the dance floor. Chanse and Courtney are already there, and you can see Amanda and Arasha on their way back from what you guess is the bathroom. The only one missing is Shayne, but you find him closing out his tab when you glance back at the bar.

The song changes as you reach your friends, and you’re thrust into a throng of bodies dedicated to moving to the beat. You’re able to catch up quickly, moving your hips and throwing your arms in the air, just letting the bass settle deep inside your chest to guide you. The next hour is spent getting lost to the music and just enjoying being in the moment, something that you really haven’t gotten to do in a while. Maybe clubs are more fun than you thought.

As another, more sensual song starts blaring through the speakers, you feel a strong pair of hands grip your waist. A flash of short brown hair catches your eye, and you’re really hoping that the girl from the bar has come back to take another shot, because if it isn’t her, then that would mean that it’s Angela, and you don’t know if you could handle that.

Content to live in the fantasy for as long as you can, you press your hips back and start moving with the music again. The contact is intense, setting your whole body on fire and burning you from the inside out. The buzz that had been running through your veins for most of the night is starting to fizzle out, getting replaced by something else. Fuck, you’re gonna go home with this girl.

That though is only solidified when you grind back again and feel something hard pressing into your ass. You choke back a moan, your eyes closing and your head falling back against your dance partner’s shoulder. This ends up leaving you neck exposed, and it doesn’t take long for you to feel soft lips pressed against a patch of skin just below your ear. A moan does tumble out of your mouth this time, and you hear a soft chuckle that decidedly doesn’t come from bar girl.

“You’re so hot like this,” Angela murmurs in your ear, nipping it lightly. “Such a beautiful mess, and I haven’t even really started yet.”

“Oh, yeah?” you challenge, gasping when she pulls your hips back into hers. “What does ‘started’ look like?”

“Us finding a really dark corner in this place and you getting on your knees for me.”

“As much as I would love that, we really shouldn’t do this here.”

“You don’t have a choice, baby. You think I’m getting in a cab when I’m this hard?”

“Fuck, okay. Together or separate?”

“Together,” Angela answers, biting down roughly on your neck. “Everybody else is distracted, so we don’t have to worry about being seen.”

You nod and start to pull away, but Angela’s hands stay steady on your waist, not letting you move. The action is hot, you’ve always loved a display of strength, but it’s also confusing. Didn’t she just say she wanted to find somewhere more private? When you feel a hand trail in between your bodies and the shift of something hard against your ass, you realize exactly why she had kept you in place.

“What, don’t want anyone to see how turned on you are for me?” you tease.

“Trust me, baby, it has nothing to do with that,” Angela says, leaning closer to your ear. “I couldn’t care less if people saw just how desperate I am for you right now. I just don’t want to get caught before we have the chance to get going.”

“You make a good point. Let’s go.”

As you grab Angela’s hand, you pull her towards the back of the club and down the hallway that houses the bathrooms. You go past them, hoping that there’s some sort of storage closet or something that’s unlocked so that you’re not out in the open. After trying a couple of door knobs, you finally manage to find a room that’s open. You drag Angela inside and lock up behind you before turning on the light to find yourself in what seems to be an office.

“This is as good a place as any,” Angela says, walking behind the desk and leaning back against it. “Over here. On your knees.”

Never one to disobey, you quickly round the desk before moving to kneel for your roommate. Could she technically still be called your roommate after this? You have no idea, and don’t care to find out right now. Instead, you set your sights on the belt that is holding up her jeans and unbuckle it, pulling through the loops. As you toss it to the side, you look up to see her staring down at you with dark eyes.

Swallowing hard, you run your hand over Angela’s length, earning a sigh. You smile as you trail up higher, unbuttoning her jeans and then pulling down the zipper. The sight of her cock straining against her boxers has your eyes widening, and you pause for a minute, wanting to commit all of this to memory. Once you’re sure the image will have a hard time leaving your brain, you pull down her jeans and underwear and start to reach up.

“Wait,” Angela says, grabbing your wrist before you can touch her. “Are you sober enough to consent to this?”

“Yes.”

“And do you consent to this in general?”

“A thousand fucking percent,” you reply.

Angela searches your face for any signs of apprehension or uncertainty, and when she doesn’t find any, she releases your wrist. You smile up at her before moving your attention downwards, reaching out to wrap your fingers around her cock and stroking gently. She lets out a soft sigh, and you decide that your goal tonight is going to be to break her. You want to hear her moan your name.

Wanting to make that a reality as soon as possible, you lean in and lick a line all the way from the base of Angela’s cock all the way up, swirling your tongue around the tip. A hand comes to rest in your hair, encouraging you to keep going, so you do. You dip down and start to take her in your mouth, bobbing your head in a slow rhythm. With every bob, you take more of her until your nose is pressing against her stomach. You pause there for a second, looking up.

“Fuck,” Angela grunts. “So good for me. Can I chase it, baby?”

You do your best to nod, and Angela gets the message, because she immediately starts to rut her hips. The feeling of her cock hitting the back of your throat has you dripping, and you briefly consider shoving a hand down your pants just to get some relief before you feel the grip on your hair tighten. She’s close, and you want to focus on getting her there.

As you feel Angela start to tug at your hair, you hollow out your cheeks to create suction while using your tongue to trace the vein on the underside of her cock. You watch as her abs contract, the lines becoming more and more defined the closer to the edge she gets. It’s a beautiful sight to watch, but it doesn’t compare to her throwing her head back and biting down on a moan as she comes.

“Fuck,” Angela says as she comes down. “You-fuck.”

“That good, huh?” you tease as you tuck her cock back into her boxers.

“Better than. Come on, let’s get home so I can return the favor.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-”

“If you think I’m not eating you out after that performance, you are sorely mistaken.”

Deciding not to argue against something you actually want, you stand up and wipe some of the stray spit from the corner of your mouth. Angela tracks the action with a dark gaze, but ends up shaking her head before moving to rezip and button her pants. You grab her belt and hand it to her, and she pulls it through the loops before buckling it in the front.

“Do I look presentable?” Angela asks.

“You’re fine,” you answer, running your fingers through your hair to smooth it out. “Am I good?”

“Yep. Ready to go?”

“For sure.”

Getting out of the office unseen is the easy part. The hard part is making it past your friends without them asking a million questions. Courtney had noticed your absence, but you’re able to play it off by saying that you’d been hugging the toilet in the bathroom for the last twenty minutes, with Angela there to comfort you. Your disheveled appearance helps sell that story, and soon enough you’re both on your way home in a cab.

The drive to your apartment building feels like it takes forever, and the elevator ride up to your floor is even worse. By the time you make it through your front door, you’re practically vibrating with impatience. Luckily for you, Angela is too, because as soon as you both have your shoes off, she lifts you up by the backs of your thighs and carries you down the hallway.

You find yourself being thrown onto her bed, and with in seconds, she’s crawling on top of you and pressing your lips together. Even with everything you’ve done tonight, you have actually kissed, so it takes you a little bit by surprise. It doesn’t take you long to recover, though, and soon you’re pushing back against her lips with equal fervor.

After a few minutes of exploring each other’s mouths, Angela moves down your jawline and then to your neck, kissing and sucking at the same spot she had at the club. Your hips jump at the feeling, and you feel her smirk against your skin before moving down to leave what is definitely going to be a mark on your collarbone. As she starts to move down to your chest, she tugs at the hem of your shirt.

“Can I take this off?”

“Fuck yes,” you say, eagerly sitting up.

Angela smirks as she rips the shirt over your head, but the sight of your bare chest wipes it right off of her face. Apparently she hadn’t been ready for you not wearing a bra. She looks up at you with hunger in her eyes, and when you nod, she immediately leans down and takes a nipple in her mouth.

“Fuck,” you gasp.

You arch your back so that Angela can get more of your breast in her mouth, and you moan as you feel her suck hard. A hand comes up to cup your other tit, massaging it gently, and your hips buck into her again. You manage to find some friction this time in the form of Angela’s leg between your thighs, so you start grinding into it, chasing some of the relief that you desperately need.

As Angela switches to lavish your other nipple with affections, you bring your hand up to pinch at the one she just left. This has a wave of heat washing down your spine, and you grind down harder now that the end goal is within reach. Before you can get there, though, strong hands push your hips down into the bed, elimination the friction that had been building you up.

“Baby,” you whine, reaching down to grab her hips and try to pull her flush against you.

“You’re not coming on my thigh,” Angela says as she starts to kiss down your body. “I have somewhere else in mind for that.”

With a wink, Angela undoes the button of your jeans with her teeth and then pulls the zipper down the same way. She makes quick work of pulling them off of your body, and you think she’s about to take your panties off too, but she stops short. When she looks up at you, you realize that she won’t go any farther without your consent.

“I know you said yes at the club, but I need to hear you say it now,” Angela says.

“Yes,” you reply, trying and failing to keep the whine out of your voice.

Consent now established, or re-established, Angela wraps her fingers in the hem of your panties and pulls them down slowly. You squeeze your eyes shut in embarrassment as you feel them stick to you, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. In fact, you’re pretty sure you hear her let out a little hum of appreciation.

The first trace of Angela’s tongue against your slit has you crying out her name. You’re embarrassingly close already, but that only seems to spur her on as she draws circles around your clit before briefly moving down to your dripping entrance. She repeats the pattern over and over again, drawing moan after moan from your lips as you feel your core start to tighten.

“Ange, I’m-”

A burst of white hot pleasure explodes from your center, and you feel your entire body start to shake as your orgasm engulfs you. Angela works you down from it expertly, slowing her movements down before completely coming to a stop when you go slack against the bed. You feel start to trail kisses back up your body, and you open your eyes as you feel her breath fanning against your lips.

Embarrassingly, a full body shiver runs through you at the sight of Angela’s face. Her chin is covered in your wetness, and her perfect lips are a darker shade of pink than you’ve ever seen them. Before she has the chance to tease you about your reaction, you lean up and kiss her, moaning at the taste of yourself on her tongue.

“God, you’re so hot,” you murmur. “Fuck, do you have condoms?”

“What?” Angela says, pulling away in surprise.

“Condoms. Do you have them?”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to-”

“I don’t, just like you didn’t when you said you wanted to go down on me,” you say, cutting her off. “Unless you don’t want to?”

“I do,” Angela says quickly. “I really fucking do.”

“Then get naked, grab a condom, and come fuck me.”

Angela nearly falls off the bed as she scrambles to get up, but she manages to get her feet under her. She stands up and pulls her collared shirt over her head before undoing the clasp of her bra and letting it fall from her arms. You take a minute to admire the view, but quickly get distracted when Angela pulls off her pants and underwear. She goes into the side table and grabs a condom, ripping the packaging off and rolling it on before climbing back on top of you.

“Are you sure about this?” Angela asks softly, positioning herself between your legs.

“Yes.”

“Because we don’t have to do this. We can leave it here for tonight and talk in the morning, or-”

“Angela, just shut up and fuck me already.”

The desperation in your voice seems to get Angela to understand that you want this, and she lines herself up at your entrance before pushing in. You do your best not to tense up, taking deep breaths to keep your muscles relaxed as she presses more into you. As soon as your hips connect, you feel your walls clench around her cock.

“Fuck, this isn’t gonna last long,” Angela mumbles. “Feels so good.”

Before you have the chance to tell her that you don’t care how long she lasts, she rolls her hips into you. The friction is delicious, and you find your head falling back against the pillows as you let out a loud moan that seems like it bounces off every single wall in your apartment. God, your neighbors are gonna hate you.

As Angela starts to build a rhythm with her thrusts, she shifts her hips slightly on every stroke. You wonder what she’s doing, but then you feel the tip of her cock rub against your g-spot, and you suddenly can’t think anymore. She smirks at the little choking sound that escapes your lips, and then she’s picking up speed and pounding you into the mattress.

It doesn’t take long for Angela to have you worked up and on the brink of orgasm, but you hold it, not wanting to let go yet. You dig your fingertips into her sides to give yourself something to hold onto, and suddenly her hips are stuttering into you. Low grunts are falling from her lips on every thrust now, and her eyes are glazed over as she chases her high.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Angela moans. “I need-I need you to come. I can’t-”

“I’m there,” you whine.

Your walls convulse around Angela’s cock as you come, and your legs try to clamp shut, only to be held open by the girl in between them. A sharp moan escapes your lips, and you hear her say your name again, which only adds to the pleasure that is coursing through your veins. It takes a long time for you to come down, only really coming back to yourself when you feel soft kisses being peppered across your cheek.

“You okay?” Angela asks, resting her head in the crook of your neck.

“Yeah,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“We should probably get cleaned up and head to bed.”

When you nod in agreement, Angela carefully pulls out of you before peeling the condom off and tying it closed. She gets up and offers you a hand that you take gratefully, before you both head out of her room and down the hallway to the bathroom. After a quick clean up, she leaves you to use the bathroom. As you pee, you realize that you never heard her door shut, and take that as an invitation to rejoin her. That night, you fall asleep feeling safe and sound in her arms.

—

An alarm blaring yanks you out of your sleep, and you groan, rolling over to bury your face in the pillow. This is the third time this week that you’ve woken up feeling like shit, and it’s only Wednesday. Before you have the chance to wallow in how miserable you feel, there’s a knock on your door and it opens just a crack.

“Hey, time to get up,” Angela says softly. “We have to be at the studio in less than an hour, and I wanna stop for some coffee if that’s cool.”

“Sure,” you say, sitting up slowly to avoid making your nausea worse. “I’ll be ready to go in twenty.”

Angela nods and closes the door, leaving you to start your day. Things between you two have been a little bit different ever since you hooked up. She’s been distant, but honestly, so have you. It’s like neither of you know how to walk back the line that you crossed that night a few weeks ago, and now you’re both just trying to learn how to live in the awkwardness.

Sighing, you climb out of bed and are immediately hit with a wave of nausea. Like the last two mornings, you sprint across the hall to the bathroom, closing the door and turning on the faucet so that Angela doesn’t hear you throwing up. After a minute of just sitting in front of the toilet, you get up and flush before starting to get ready. 

You brush your teeth and take a quick shower, then head back to your room to get dressed. Buttoning your jeans takes a little extra effort this morning, but you chalk it up to bloating. Once you’re dressed, you put on some light makeup and grab your bag before heading out to the living room. Angela is waiting for you there, and as soon as she sees you come in, she stands up.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” you reply, heading to the door.

The elevator ride down to the parking garage brings on another wave of nausea, but you manage to dispel it by the time you climb into Angela’s car. The drive to the nearest coffee shop only takes five minutes, and then you’re heading off to the studio. When you get there, you head inside to find Amanda and Courtney chatting with Arasha in the main office.

“Yeah, I feel so much better,” Courtney says. “That cold was awful. I’m just glad my period was ending when I caught it.”

That statement makes you stop dead in your tracks. Wait a minute. Courtney’s period was ending? No, that couldn’t be right. Could it? If it was, that means yours was late. Like, extremely late. You guys weren’t perfectly synced, but you would have for sure started your period a few days before she did, as happens every month. A sinking feeling hits you in the pit of your stomach as you realize what this could mean.

“Hey, are you okay?” Angela asks from beside you. “You just got really pale.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you say. “I-I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”

Without waiting for Angela to respond, you practically run down the hall and into the single person bathroom. You shut and lock the door behind you then walk over to the sink, turning the water on cold and splashing your face with it. The coolness does nothing to dispel the rising feeling of dread in your stomach, and you find yourself rushing to the toilet for the second time today.

After taking a minute to regain your composure, you take your spare toothbrush and toothpaste out of the bag and start brushing. All the while, you think about what’s going to happen now. You’re pregnant, you have to be. Your period is is a week and a half late and you’ve been waking up nauseous every morning for the last couple days. There’s no other logical explanation, right?

Knowing that there’s nothing you can do right now, you squash down your panic and resolve to go to the drugstore at lunch. Then you’ll be able to get a test and confirm that you actually are pregnant before you start really freaking out. With a sigh, you spit the toothpaste into the sink and rinse your mouth before putting everything away and walking back out to the office.

“There you are,” Amanda says, smiling as you walk over to the group that has formed. “We saw you come in, but then you disappeared.”

“I just had to use the bathroom,” you say, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “Are you ready for the shoots today?”

“God yes. I’ve been dying to play Gentleman’s Moose Master again.”

“The last one absolutely killed me,” Courtney agrees. “I can’t wait to see what we’ve got this time.”

“Yeah, that’ll be a good video,” you agree.

“What about you?” Amanda asks. “You’re filming a reaction video for Pit, right?”

“I am. God, I hope they don’t do me too dirty. Tommy got Angela good on the last one, I had to deal with her pouting for days after filming.”

“Hey, it was not that bad,” Angela protests with a pout.

“Oh, it was that bad,” Chanse chimes in. “You were grumpy for two days, and that was just what I saw here. I can’t imagine what you were like at home.”

“Mopey,” you say cheekily.

“Whatever,” Angela mutters, though you know she’s not actually feeling put out. “Let’s go, we’ve got to start getting ready.”

With that, the brunette turns around and starts walking in the direction of the art department. Shayne, Courtney, Amanda, and Trevor follow her, leaving you with the a few of your other castmates. You turn around to find Chanse looking at you with an eyebrow raised, but before you can say anything, Erin comes over and starts herding you to the stage you’re going to be shooting on today.

While you’d had a brief reprieve from your thoughts while you had been joking around with the rest of the cast, as soon as you sit down at the table on set, they all come rushing back in. You spend almost the entire shoot pretending to pay attention to the screen in front of you, but in reality, you’re a million miles away. When they call the final cut on the video, you let out a little sigh of relief and stand up, ready to move on to the next thing.

“Hey, are you okay?” Chanse asks as you walk back out to the main office. “You seem…off. I don’t really know how to explain it. And Angela has been pouting for weeks. Did something happen?”

“Yeah,” you say, sighing heavily as tears start to prick at the corners of your eyes. “It’s a long story, but I think I really fucked up and now I don’t know what to do.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Can you cover for me at lunch? I need to pick something up, but Angela can’t know about it.”

“Of course,” Chanse says softly. “I know this might be overstepping, but do you want someone to go with you?”

“Maybe,” you say, biting your lip as you think it through. “Yes. But then who’s gonna cover for us?”

“I’ll talk to Amanda, she won’t ask questions if she thinks I’m taking you out to lunch so that I can gush about the guy I hooked up with last weekend.”

“Okay, yeah. Thanks.”

“Of course. Now come on, we just have to get through an hour long shoot before we can go do whatever you need.”

You nod your head and follow him off the stage and back into the main office, where you find Ian and Anthony setting up for the sketch shoot. Most of it has already been filmed, but the final part got delayed due to some technical difficulties the other day so the final scene had been squeezed into today’s schedule.

This shoot goes a lot better than the last, with you being able to turn on your actor’s brain and set everything else on the back burner. It ends up running a little bit long, but that just means that lunch will be pushed back a bit. Not a complete travesty in the grand scheme of things. When the shoot ends, you walk off towards the kitchen to get Chanse, and you find him talking to Amanda.

“Wait, why are you going out for lunch?”

“Because I need to talk to her about something,” Chanse replies. “I hooked up with a guy this weekend, and I need adv-”

“Nope, stop,” Amanda says, holding her hand up. “I don’t wanna know. I’ll tell Ange that you guys went out.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey,” you say, stepping into the kitchen. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Chanse says, walking towards you. “Let me just grab my keys.”

With a little nod, you turn and head back out towards the bullpen. You stop off at Chanse’s desk to grab his keys, and then you head out to the parking lot. He opens the door of his pick up truck for you and helps you in before going walking around the vehicle and hopping into the driver’s seat. He doesn’t start the engine though, just looks over at you with a soft expression.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“I-I slept with Angela,” you whisper, looking down at your hands. “A few weeks ago. We were drunk and it just kind of happened, but things have been weird ever since. I think she thinks it was a mistake.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“No, I…I don’t know how to. I mean, how do I tell her that I…”

“Do you have feelings for her?” Chanse asks softly.

“I do. But now everything is weird and complicated, and I-”

“Why are things complicated? You slept together, that wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t feel something too.”

“Because I think…I think I’m pregnant.”

Chanse just sits there for a moment in stunned silence, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. You want him to say something, anything, even if he just calls you a fucking idiot for letting this happen. But you know he would never do that, he’s too kind and compassionate to have that kind of a response. Instead, he just puts the key into the ignition and turns it, then starts backing out of the parking spot.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“To the pharmacy,” Chanse answers. “We’ll pick up a test, and you’ll take it. If it’s positive, then we can start to panic.”

“Yeah, right. Okay.”

The drive to the nearest drug store only takes five minutes, and soon you find yourself in the family planning aisle. Chanse stays by your side, offering silent support as you look at the pregnancy tests. Eventually you grab two Clearblues, then you head up to the front of the store and check out. With the tests now in hand, you’re tempted to just take them here, but you know that a CVS bathroom probably isn’t the best place to find out that you’re pregnant.

When you get back to the Smosh studio, Chanse takes you down a side hall that avoids the eating area before opening the door to the women’s bathroom for you. You swallow hard, but he gives you a look of encouragement, so you head inside and go into the first stall. After reading the directions, you pee on the sticks and then flush the toilet before heading out of the stall. You put the tests on a paper towel on the counter and then wash your hands.

After setting a timer on your phone for five minutes, you poke your head out of the bathroom. Chanse looks up at you, and when you nod your head back inside, he pushes himself off the wall and follows you in. For the next few minutes, you sit in silence, waiting for the alarm to go off with a pit of dread in your stomach. When it does, you take a deep breath and walk back to the counter, flipping over the tests.

“Positive,” you choke out, feeling tears streaming down your cheeks. “Both of them.”

“Fuck,” Chanse breathes out, walking over to wrap his arms around you. “It’s gonna be okay. You’ll figure this out.”

“I don’t-I didn’t-”

“I know. I know.”

“Nobody else can find out,” you say, sniffling. “Not before I talk to her.”

“They won’t.”

As if he knows exactly what to do, Chanse grabs a paper towel from the dispenser and wraps one of he tests up before putting it into your backpack. He then wraps the other one up and buries it, making sure that nobody will find it unless they’re looking for it. When he’s done, he turns to you and wraps you in one last hug.

“Everything’s going to be okay, I promise,” Chanse says.

“Thank you,” you whisper back. “Now I just have to figure out how to get through the rest of my day.”

With a sigh, you pull out of his arms and you both head to your next shoot. You spend most of it trying not to throw up, the confirmation of your pregnancy bringing back your nausea in full force. You notice Amanda watching you, a concerned look on her face, but before she can say something, Chanse stops her with a shake of his head and a few hushed words. If he hadn’t promised to keep your secret, you would have been concerned that he had told her.

When you’re finished shooting the short sketch with Chanse and Amanda, it’s time for you to get ready for your last video of the day. At this point, not having had lunch is starting to catch up to you, but there’s no time to find something to eat. You struggle to push away the brain fog that’s come down heavy in the past couple of minutes, and you manage to fight it back far enough that you can at the very least function.

As you walk onto the Reddit Stories set, you see Shayne and Angela talking over by the couch. They both look up when you come in, and he says one last thing to her before nodding in your direction. You watch her take a deep breath as she starts walking over to you, her hands fiddling nervously with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

“Hey,” Angela says quietly. “You weren’t at lunch.”

“Yeah, I went out with Chanse,” you reply, looking down. “He wanted to talk about some stuff that happened over the weekend.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’m sure he would’ve asked you to go if he actually needed advice, but he kinda just wanted to gush, so…”

“That’s not-” Angela cuts herself off, biting her bottom lip. “Are we okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just…things have been different since…you know. And I didn’t expect them not to be, but this feels…I don’t know. Like you’re mad at me?”

“Ange, I-”

“Did I make you uncomfortable? Do something you didn’t want?”

“Of course not,” you say immediately, not wanting her to think that she did anything wrong. “I’ve just had a lot to think about, and then today…”

“Today what?”

“I’ve just been feeling off, okay? It has nothing to do with anything that you did. I promise.”

Angela looks unconvinced, but she nods her head before walking over to the couch and taking a seat. You sigh and follow her over, plopping down and grabbing a pillow to wrap your arms around. Courtney does a few final checks with the crew, and they you start rolling. Shayne goes through the intro and introduces the theme, which happens to be ‘Am I The Asshole’ stories centered around roommates.

Listening to the stories is hard at first, but after two you manage to zone in and start actually giving your opinions on them. Engaging in the conversation seems to make the time go faster, and pretty soon, the episode is wrapping up. As Shayne does the typical sign off, you watch Chanse slip in through the stage door behind the cameras. He doesn’t seem to be here for you though, walking over to Erin and asking her a question.

When Courtney announces the final cut, you sigh in relief. As you go to stand up, your vision goes black and your legs buckle a little bit underneath you. Reaching out to steady yourself on the couch, you sit back down to try to regain your bearings. You hear Angela’s voice come from next to you, but it sounds really far away.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“What’s going on?” Chanse says, walking over from behind the camera.

“Dizzy,” you manage to stutter out, your eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“When was the last time you ate?”

“You literally took her out for lunch,” Angela says, sounding annoyed.

“Last night,” you say quietly. “I was too nauseous to eat this morning.”

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen,” Chanse says. “I’m going to go grab you something from the kitchen, and Angela is going to take you to Ian’s office so that you can lay down on his couch. Alright?”

You nod, blinking your eyes open to shoot your friend a grateful look. He returns the gesture, then gets up and heads out towards the main office, leaving you alone with Angela. You look up at her slowly, and find that she already has her eyes on you, a concerned expression on her face. Before you have the chance to say anything, though, she helps you to your feet and starts leading you to Ian’s office.

“What’s going on with you?” Angela asks as soon as you’re inside, her jaw clenching.

“It’s nothing,” you say, hoping that denial will buy you a little bit of time.

“Don’t do that. First you lie about lunch, and then I find out that you were nauseous this morning and didn’t tell me. Seriously, Y/N. Tell me what’s going on.”

“This isn’t the right place to have this conversation-”

“The hell it isn’t,” Angela says angrily. “Look, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong-”

“I’m pregnant.”

That stops Angela in her tracks. Her eyes go wide, and then they trail down to your stomach before moving back up to your face. She almost looks like she doesn’t believe you, so you reach into your backpack and pull out the positive test. You unwrap it and hand it to her, but it only seems to make her freeze more.

“Say something,” you beg.

“I-”

Angela stutters and looks from you to the test and back up again, but she never actually says anything. You give her a minute to start to wrap her head around things, but the longer she stays quiet, the more your chest begins to ache. When she looks up at you again, you think that she’s finally about to say something, but she doesn’t. She just stares at you, her jaw clenched.

“Right,” you say, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “I, uhm, I think I’m going to stay somewhere else tonight.”

You turn on your heels and walk out of the office, heading towards the kitchen at a brisk pace. Tears are falling freely down your cheeks now, and your vision is blurred enough that you almost smack into someone on your way down the hall. It takes strong hands on your shoulders to get you to focus, and you look up to see Chanse standing in front of you.

“What happened?”

“I told her,” you say quietly. “She, uh, she didn’t…”

Thinking about the way she looked at you is the clincher, and you collapse into Chanse’s arms, sobbing. He wraps his arms tightly around you, allowing you to let it out. By the time you manage to get yourself together, the shoulder of his shirt is drenched and you’re somehow in a closet instead of the hallway that this conversation started in. You have no idea how he moved you to somewhere more private, but you’re glad he did.

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” you ask, sounding small.

“Of course. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

For the second time today, you find yourself being led outside and helped into Chanse’s truck. You rest your head against the window as soon as he closes the door, and you watch the greenery that surrounds the studio thin out as you head back into the city. It doesn’t take long to arrive at his building, and soon you’re seated at his kitchen island, watching him cook.

“How are you doing?” Chanse asks, setting a plate of stir fry down in front of you.

“I’ve been better,” you reply honestly. “I mean, I didn’t expect her to be over the moon about this, but she could have at least said something.”

“She didn’t say anything?”

“Nope. Just stood there like a statue and stared at me.”

“Maybe she’s just processing.”

“I hope so. I don’t think I can do this alone.”

“Hey,” Chanse says softly, walking around the island to take a seat next to you. “You won’t be doing this alone. If she isn’t there, I will be. I know it’s not the same, but…”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling at him softly.

Before Chanse can say anything in response, his phone starts buzzing on the kitchen counter. He gives you an apologetic look before getting up and going to grab it. As he picks it up, he looks at the screen and frowns. He taps something and puts the phone back down, but it immediately starts buzzing again, so he sighs and answers it.

“Amanda, what’s up?”

“Do you want to tell me why Angela just called me in a panic, looking for Y/N?”

“No, not really,” Chanse says, putting the phone on speaker.

“Well, have you seen her?” Amanda asks. “Because I think our girl is going to have a panic attack if she doesn’t find her in the next five minutes.”

“It would serve her right. And she is definitely not my girl right now.”

“Oh my God, you’re mad at her. You’re never mad at her. What did she do?”

“It’s not my story to tell.”

“It’s fine, she’s gonna find out anyways,” you say, sighing.

“Wait, is Y/N with you?”

“She is,” Chanse says.

“So she’s not going home? What the fuck happened?”

“I’m pregnant,” you say quietly. “It’s Angela’s.”

“WHAT?” Amanda practically yells into the phone. “How? When? Does she know? Sorry, dumb question. She wouldn’t be panicking right now if she didn’t. But wait, why are you with Chanse?”

“Your girl froze,” Chanse says. “Y/N told her, and she just stood there.”

“Fucking idiot. I’m going to kill her.”

Before either you or Chanse has the chance to say anything back, there’s a knock on the door. You exchange a look with each other, but ultimately decide that whoever it is can go the fuck away. As you turn your attention back to the phone and Amanda, another series of knocks sound from the door, this time with a voice accompanying them.

“Chanse, I know Y/N is with you,” Angela calls out. “Open the door.”

“Is she at the door?” Amanda asks.

“Yeah,” Chanse says, walking around the island with his phone in his hand. “Look, I have to let you go. I’ll call you later, yeah?” Without waiting for an answer, he hangs up and turns towards you. “What do you want to do? Do you want to see her?”

“Not really, but I should,” you say. “We need to talk about this eventually.”

“That doesn’t mean it has to be tonight.”

“I know, but it should be. Let her in.”

Chanse nods and then heads to the front door. He pauses with his hand on the knob, looking back to give you one last chance to change your mind. When you don’t, he takes a deep breath and opens the door. He’s immediately shoved back, and you watch Angela walk into the apartment, her eyes scanning the room until find you. As she starts to walk over to you, you climb off of the stool you’re sitting on and wrap your arms around yourself.

“Hey,” you say quietly.

“Hey,” Angela says, visibly softening at the sound of your voice. “Can we talk?”

“We probably should.”

“Chanse, do you mind giving us a few minutes?”

“Of course,” Chanse replies, before walking over to you and giving your shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.”

“Okay.”

With a soft smile to you and a glare to Angela, Chanse heads down the hallway and into his room. As soon as you hear the door click shut, you turn back to the girl standing in front of you. She’s looking at your stomach, a mix of wonder and uncertainty clouding her eyes. When she notices you watching her, she clears her throat and straightens up.

“So you’re really pregnant?” Angela asks quietly.

“Yes,” you reply softly.

“When did you find out?”

“Today. I…I heard Courtney talking about coming off of her period when we came in this morning, and I realized I was late. Chanse took me to the pharmacy during our lunch break, and I took a couple of tests. They came back positive.”

“Okay,” Angela says, taking a deep breath. “Okay. So, uhm, I know you probably have a lot that you want to say to me after what happened at the studio, but can I go first?” You nod your head, and Angela lets out a sigh of relief. “Okay. First, I want to say that I’m so sorry for how I reacted. Never in a million years did I think our conversation was heading in that direction, but that’s no excuse.”

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“I don’t forgive me, but I appreciate it. The second thing that I wanted to say is, I’m in. I want to be a part of this, with you. In whatever way you want me. But before you decide on that, you should know that I’ve been helplessly in love with you for the last six months.”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you,” Angela repeats, taking a step closer to you. “I love the way you make everyone around you smile, the way you care so deeply about all of our friends, the way you can make me laugh even when I’m having a bad day. I love your smile, and your laugh, and that little crease on your forehead that is only visible when you’re concentrating really, really hard. And so help me God, I love the way that you taste, the way you moan my name, the way you make me feel like I’m burning up from the inside out.”

“Ange,” you say quietly, tears welling in your eyes for the hundredth time today.

“I love you, Y/N. More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. Please, just give me a chance to show you that.”

“Only if you give me the chance to show you right back.”

“Deal.”

Not wanting to spend another second out of Angela’s arms, you close the distance between you and pull her into a passionate kiss. She responds immediately, sinking into the embrace and letting her body melt into yours. It just feels right, and you realize that no matter what happens next, you’ll always have Angela.

[chronicbeans]

Wally and a Puppeteer Reader (part 11)

Looks like we are getting close to the end. Idk how many more parts there will be but I, for once, gotta plan in mind! Yippee!

TW: Obsessive Behavior, Idol Worshipping, Interrogation, Derealization, Scopophobia/Eye Imagery, Threats

🎥 You have waited a couple days for this. You wanted to make sure that Henry was alright after what happened. Currently, he and his uncle are out, picking Angela up from the hospital. No one is home, so it is the perfect time for this.

🎥 You place Wally down on your bed, before placing two heavy books on the extra blanket hanging off of the ends of the knot you tied to heep him down. He squirms, looking up at you with the most fearful eyes you have ever seen... on a puppet, at least. Nothing could ever beat the fear you saw in the eyes of Eddie's puppeteer when they handed you the box holding this cursed puppet.

🎥 Speaking of, the puppet opens its mouth, crying out "Let me go! I'm sorry! I didn't hurt her! I think I just spooked her... she tripped on her own!" You shake your head "I don't really care about whether or not you did or didn't do that... Because, even if you didn't, you still hurt people! What about the person YOU filled with staples? Or the one you dropped a bucket of paint on, cracking their head open?! Or these cursed notes and drawings you kept sending me?! You still did damage to people, including me! I have been going insane from fear because of you!"

🎥 His eyes widen more so than they already were. He grows silent, looking around. He begins to mutter "No... no no no... I never meant to... I never meant to hurt YOU!" He then looks you straight in the eyes, the most intense stare held within his own. His pupils seem to expand until they overtake the entirety of his large eyes. "I NEED YOU. I would never hurt you willingly! I thought the notes were lovely! The drawings, too! Isn't it nice to know that your most faithful puppet is watching over you? The paint guy was being mean to you! He deserved it! I even warned him before I did it. I always saw the other guy with Eddie, so I thought it would be fitting if he delivered mail to you! See? I put so much thought into it all so it would be perfect! I love you! I am so sorry you didn't see what I meant to get across..."

🎥 You take a step back, placing your hands on your hips "Oh, you got your message across, alright. I know you love me. You love me too much. You love me to a dangerous degree and you clearly are willing to harm people for the smallest of reasons. I know the boss will probably fire me for this, but I think it would be best if I just burned you-"

🎥"NO! NO, DON'T DO THAT! I mean-!" He looks over to the clock in your room, before saying "I mean... can we... can we have one last round on set? Whatever story you want, you can tell! You can make me do anything you like! I don't care... I can clearly see that I deserve it... I caused so much damage. If you want me burned, I can't stop you. I am your puppet. You are in control, right? Just one more little story. For me? For your good, friendly neighbor?"

🎥 You feel... uncomfortable. However, you think about it for a bit. The studio is far from most other people and since Wally can talk, he can probably scream. It would be... concerning, to say the least, if your neighbors saw you burning a screaming, flailing thing that looked vaguely like a person. So, it might be for the best that you go through with his wishes. "Alright. You want one more story? You will get one more story. You better not double-cross me, though."

🎥 Wally nods, a his permanent grin widening. "Don't worry. I won't. As I said, I would never hurt you intentionally. Let's go! Now! I wanna go now!" You untie him, before slinging him over your shoulder and placing him in your car. You drive to the studio, listening to Wally talking about how much he can't wait to see Barnaby, Julie, and all the others. You tune him out, focusing entirely on the road and your destination.

🎥 You arrive, parking your car and hopping out. You grab Wally, before reaching into the glove box and taking out your emergency key to the studio. You really don't understand why the boss gives everyone a key. Apparently it is so they can have someone open the door if they lose their own? You don't really care, though. All you care about is finishing whatever this puppet has started.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[hayleythesugarbowl]

hii, if it's ok can i ask for more dating Ian headcanons? like maybe him crushing on the reader and how he confesses?? thanks if you do!!

ian hecox x reader headcanons • part 2: the prequel

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist • part 1 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: omg love this idea, hope you enjoy these!! i love ian so much and im so happy to give him the love he deserves 🍒🩰

<— previous part • another ian fic —>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ian crushing on you would include…

ok so like i said you were a new crew member at smosh

and ian immediately fell in love with you

like i don’t wanna say insta love but like-

‘hey (y/n)’

and then quietly under his breath 

‘you look beautiful today’

he would find excuses to come and ask you for things or talk to you about a video

if he ever wrote you a reminder or note he would put a little heart after his name 

and you just assumed he did that with everybody 

until they all confirmed he most definitely didn’t 

everyone else at smosh totally knew how he felt about you before you did 

like babes didn’t smile that much before you 

if you ever needed a ride he was the first to offer 

and whenever smosh was doing a video featuring the crew 

he would suggest you every time 

once you hugged him 

and don’t tell anyone but he didn’t wash the sweatshirt he was wearing for a good few weeks 

mans was obsessed with you

probably asked anthony for advice

started dressing up more / developing a style to impress you 

and if you complimented his shoes or something he would wear them legit every day 

ok and then one time you were doing a truth or dab video

and ian got the question ‘name the person in this room you’d most like to make out with’ or something like that

and everyone could barely restrain themselves from making jokes about ‘knowing exactly who he’d pick’

shayne probably did

and much to your confusion ian immediately started blushing 

and was about to dab 

but then-

‘(y/n)’ 

to which you said 

‘what?’

and he said 

‘i’d choose (y/n).’

a pause, and then

‘well, i guess this is a good a time as any—ever since you started working here, I-uh-I’ve thought you were beautiful and funny and, um, I would love it if you wanted to go out sometime.’

and so while everybody around you was dying of excitement 

you walked over

and kissed ian right then and there

‘i’d love to go out with you sometime.’

and he smiled bigger than he’d ever smiled before <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<— previous part • another another ian fic —>

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this, thanks for the request!! also to whichever anon sent me the angela x reader fic request: if you’re out there reading this i promise i am working on your request!! 🍒💌

[falcqns]

for the first time (whats past is past)

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Lucy Chen & Tim Bradford

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Tim calls Lucy in the middle of the night, hoping to every god that exists that her number hadn’t changed, and to every angel that she would pick up despite how he had hurt her.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: canon divergence, angst with a happy ending obviously, Chenford. tagging @natashasera. Title is from Begin Again by my mothaaaaa 

don’t forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.

“Please pick up,” Tim whispered to himself. He sniffed, trying blink back the tears that were gathering in his eyes. He knew he was stupid for doing this, for calling her; if he were her, he wouldn’t pick up the phone, especially after he had done what he did. She had needed him, and he had left her, and he wouldn’t blame her for doing the same to him. 

But, whatever gods that he had prayed to before hitting her contact must have heard his prayers, because just as he was about to give up, the ringing stopped, and he heard static for a brief second, before hearing a sound he thought he’d never hear again - Lucy saying his name in her beautiful, melodic voice. 

“Tim?” She said quietly, and Tim choked back a sob. 

“H-Hi,” he whispered. There was rustling on the other end for a brief moment before Lucy responded. 

“What happened?” She asked, her previously neutral tone shifting to concerned. 

Tim chuckled quietly. “Why do you assume that something happened?” 

“Because you wouldn’t be calling me in the middle of the night if it hadn’t.” 

Tim hung his head, sighing. “Y-You’re right.” He suddenly regretted calling her, he didn’t want her to think he’d only called her because he needed something, because that was far from the truth. He did need something, but she was the only one he wanted to call. Everyone else would look at him with pity - which he understood, because how sad is it that him, a nearly 40 year old man was broken up with and humiliated at a party? But still, he knew that if he had called Angela or Genny, they would have pitied him, but Lucy wouldn’t do that. She would feel bad for him, but he knew that she knew (better than anyone) that these things happened, and it was important to move on and not be stuck in the past. “I uhm..” He began, but stopped, unsure how to explain it without sounding like he was in high school. 

“Tim?” Lucy asked again, and this time, Tim cleared his throat before speaking. 

“I uh - I was at a party, with my girlfriend, and we got into a fight. It was stupid, but it caused her to freak out, and basically start bashing me in front of all of her friends.” He explained. 

“Im so sorry Tim,” Lucy said. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘bashing’ you?” She asked, and Tim chuckled sadly.

“Well,” he began. “She thought it was appropriate to bring up everything from my past, more specifically the things I had told her in confidence, like what happened with Isabel and my dad, and things I was ashamed about, like how I treated you.” He confessed. 

Lucy sighed on the other end, and the rustling could be heard again. “Tim, I’m so sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve that.”

Tim shrugged, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “Kinda feels like I did, but right now I just want to get away from her and her friends, but I’m stranded. You were the only person I could think of to call who wouldn’t pity me.” 

Lucy laughed quietly. “Of course im not going to pity you, I learned my lesson with that when I was your rookie.” Tim laughed in response. “Send me the address, and I’ll come and get you.” 

Tim sighed in relief. “Thank you.” He said, and sent her a text with the location of the party. 

“Okay,” Lucy said, looking at the address. “It’ll take me about 20 minutes to get to you, but I’m leaving pretty much right now,” she said. “I’ll see you when I get there, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Tim replied. “Thank you again.”

“It’s no problem, Tim. I’m glad you called me.”

—— 

27 minutes later, Tim saw Lucy’s Gray Acura RDX pull into the driveway, and he was finally able to move off of the rock he had been sitting on. He walked over to her car, and opened the passenger door, sliding into the seat, and shut the door behind him. Lucy smiled at him, before reaching out and pausing the music she had been playing. 

Tim glanced at the screen, and his brows furrowed when he saw the song “I See The Light.”

“Why are you playing Disney music?” 

Lucy pointed behind her, and when Tim tuned his head around, he was shocked to see a car seat facing the back of the back seat, and a mirror on the headrest, allowing him to see the sleeping infant, no more than 6 or 7 months old, in the carseat. 

“Tangled is her favourite.” She said, putting the car in reverse, and backing out of the driveway. “And she was not too happy to be taken out of her sleep sack before she was ready.” Lucy said, a smile on her face. 

“Im sorry,” Tim apologized immediately. Not only did he wake her up in the middle of the night, he had her wake her sleeping baby up, to come and get him from a party in the middle of nowhere, when he could have just called an Uber.

Lucy shook her head. “Don’t be,” she said, reading his mind. “She was going to wake up soon for a feed anyways, so it’s all good.” 

Tim nodded, his head turning back to face the road. “I uh,” he said, glancing down at his hands before speaking. “I didn’t know you were a mom.” 

Lucy nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I am.” She said. “I love it more than I thought I would.” She explained. “I mean, I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but the second she entered the world, I knew I’d love it more than anything in this world.” 

Tim smiled. “I’m happy for you, I know how much you’d wanted the whole marriage and kids thing.”

Lucy nodded, eyes on the road. “Actually, just the kids. I’m not married.” She said. She looked sideways at Tim briefly, and answered his unasked question. “I’m single.”

“Oh,” Tim responded, unsure what else to say. 

“Yeah,” Lucy nodded, glancing back at her baby. “Chris wasn’t too keen on being a father.” She explained, and Tim shook his head. 

“What an idi- I mean dummy head.” He said, glancing back at the baby briefly, making Lucy laugh. 

“Its okay, you can swear.” She said. “I don’t care, and It helps her development, so swear it up.” She said, making Tim laugh. 

“What an idiot.” Tim continued, before shaking his head. “Nope, can’t swear. Feels too weird.” 

Lucy laughed, and Tim smiled looking over at her. He had missed that sound more than anything, and he knew it was all his fault that he hadn’t heard it in nearly two years. 

“Anyways, Sanford is a dummy head for doing that to you.” Tim continued. 

“I know, but it’s not the first time someone has left me when things have gotten hard.” She said, and Tim nodded sadly, knowing that she was referring to him now. 

“I know, and I’m-“ Tim began, before Lucy cut him off. 

“if you say ‘I’m sorry’ one more time, I’m pulling over and you can walk.”

They both laughed, and Tim opened his mouth once more. “Okay, okay I’m-“ he began, before him and Lucy glanced at each other, and immediately looked away as they both burst into laughter. 

Their laughs were cut short by a cry from the backseat. Lucy reached out, tapping the ‘AirPlay’ button on her car display, and bringing up the Tangled soundtrack again. 

“I’m sorry, Mae Mae,” Lucy said, looking into her rearview mirror, where she could see the reflection of her daughter. “Look, Mama’s playing your music.” As soon as Mandy Moore’s singing voice began to float from the car speakers, the infant calmed down, and looked out the window.

The car was quiet for a few minutes, and Tim wouldn’t admit it, but he actually enjoyed the Tangled soundtrack. He then decided to break the silence, wanting to know more about what he’d missed in the Lucyverse the past almost two years.

“What’s her name?” He asked, referring to the baby in the backseat.

Lucy swallowed nervously before she responded. “Her name is Maple.”

Tim’s heart pounded in his chest, a wave of gruelling grief, the same wave that had washed over him for months when he left Lucy that had stolen his ability to take care of himself, crashed over him once more. 

Maple was the name that they’d chosen together. Tim hadn’t liked it at first, but the more he’d thought about it, the name Maple Bradford definitely had a ring to it. When they’d broken up, he knew he was still going to use the name if he ever had kids, but he didn’t think that she would, especially after he left her the way he did. 

“Y-You used the name.” Tim said quietly, and Lucy nodded. She looked over at him, and his heart broke even more when he saw that she had tears in her eyes. 

“Yeah,” She admitted. “It was the only name that made sense to me.” She said, and upon seeing Tim’s confused look, she elaborated. “When I was in labor, I was all alone. It was the middle of the night, and I was woken up by the worst pain I had ever felt. I knew I was in labor, and was so scared of giving birth alone that I drove myself to the hospital. Once I got there, I was so scared, and didn’t want to disturb anyone, so I gave birth alone. The entire time, the only person I wanted beside me, I knew I couldn’t call.” She said, sniffling as she spoke.

“Who?” Tim asked, a little afraid of the answer.

“You.” She said, glancing at Tim. “I wanted you by my side. I wanted you to be there, holding my hand, and encouraging me. I wanted it to be you to be her father, not someone who never wanted her in the first place. But I couldn’t call you.” 

Tim turned his body to face her. “Luce, I would have absolutely came and been there for you had you called me, you know that right?” 

Lucy looked at him, a serious look on her face. “Do I, though?” She asked. “How was I supposed to know if you’d come and support me, after you left me when I needed you the most after I made P2?” She asked, and Tim looked down in shame.

He had done that. She had been struggling with him not being by her side on patrol, and was having separation anxiety and jealousy with him and his new rookie, and he, instead of supporting her and understanding, got mad at her and ended things. Which he immediately regretted, but regretted even more the next day when Grey told him that she had transferred, and hated himself when he went to her apartment, only to find that she was gone. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He said. “I hate that I did that to you. I shouldn’t have just given up on you, on us like that. I should have supported and understood you, not walked away. I regret ending things.” 

“Well, its in the past now.” Lucy said. And Tim sighed sadly. 

“So theres no hope for us, is there?” He asked, and Lucy looked over at him.

“Of course theres hope,” She said, pulling her car into his driveway. “I’ve always had hope that we’d find each other again.” She put the car into park and turned towards him. “I’m glad that you called me.”

“I’m glad you answered.” He said. He then glanced at his front door, then at Maple, before his eyes landed on Lucy.

“Do you want to come in?” He asked, his voice shaking at the implications of what he was asking. 

Lucy smiled at him. “Of course we do.”

[zillaphoneswag]

Amangela Dialogue Prompts

Fluff

Angela: “Your hair is so soft…”

Amanda: “It’s too cold! Come back!”

Angela: “No, I’m not letting you go. It’s too early to get out of bed.”

Amanda: “C’mere. You can sit in my lap until I’m done working.”

Angela: “What? Does that feel good?”

Angela: “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

Amanda: “No-no, it’s alright. Come here.”

Amanda: “I’m not going to leave you. You don’t ever have to be by yourself again.”

Angela: “Wait, don’t pull away…not yet.”

Amanda: “You look really cute in that sweater.”

Angela: “You’re a huge inspiration to me.”

Amanda: “God, you always make me blush so fucking much.”

Angela: “The first second I saw you, I couldn’t get over how beautiful you were.”

Amanda: “I really love holding you, darling.”

Angela: “Could you hold my hand?”

Amanda: “Aw, you’re blushing like a rose.”

Angela: “Your lips are really warm.”

Hurt/Comfort/Sick

Amanda: “Tell me where it hurts.”

Amanda: “Let me see.”

Angela: “How bad is it?”

Amanda: “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you.”

Angela: “Why didn’t you tell me it hurt so bad?”

Angela: “I fell.”

Amanda: “I’m glad that you’re here.”

Amanda: “You’re not doing this alone.”

Angela: “You’re what’s important to me right now.”

Amanda: “I’m coming to get you. Stay there.”

Angela: “You’re not fine. You need to rest.”

Amanda: “Shh, it’s okay now. I’m here. Everything will be fine.”

Angst

Angela: “I’m not a lot of people’s favorite person.”

Angela: “I really think it’s easier for people when I’m not around.”

Amanda: “Don’t do this to yourself!”

Angela: “You’re not leaving, are you?”

Amanda: “Just talk to me. Please.”

Angela: “Let me help you.”

Angela: “Stop pushing me away.”

Amanda: “I just need some time to myself.”

Amanda: “Please look at me.”

Angela: “You deserve more.”

Amanda: “Why are you so stubborn?”

Angela: “Y-You never had a problem with it before.”

Amanda: “You’re making me think everything they told me about you is right.”

Amanda: “Can I hug you?”

Angela: “I wish you were here.”

Angela: “I let you down.”

Jealousy

Angela: “No way…you’re actually jealous.”

Amanda: “We need to talk about that little stunt you pulled earlier.”

Angela: “I just didn’t like that too much, alright?”

Amanda: “I’m not upset.”

Angela: “I didn’t know you were the jealous type.

Amanda: “Oh, come on, you and I both know what he was doing.”

Angela: “You saw that? You saw that, right?”

Amanda: “Actually, we’re leaving early, we have somewhere to be.”

Friends to Lovers

Amanda: “You’re already the most important person in my life.”

Angela: ‘I’ve always liked you. More than you ever knew.”

Any cast member: ‘“Just friends” don’t look at each other like that.”

Angela: “Maybe we should kiss…just to know what it's like.”

Amanda: “I’d spoil you rotten if I got the chance.”

Angela: “You’re always there when I need you.”

Amanda: “It’s like I’m seeing you in a completely new light.”

Angela: “I had this really strange dream of us and I have no idea what to think of it.”

Amanda: “Come here, I’ll keep you warm.”

Angela: “Are you saying you actually want to kiss me?”

Amanda: “I’m so glad to have you by my side.”

Angela: “Can you like…hold my hand for a second?”

Love Confessions

Amanda: “Don’t even pretend to not know how incredibly sexy and amazing you are.”

Angela: “You could take over the whole fucking world and I’d be so down as long as I could be with you.”

Amanda: “No, you idiot. I love you.”

Angela: “I can’t not love you, it’s just not in me. Crap…did I say that out loud?”

Amanda: ‘You’re my world.”

Angela: “God, I’m so into you.”

Amanda: “I can’t trust anyone that doesn’t love you. Like I do.”

Angela: ‘My brain just goes blank when I look at you. I think I’m going a little crazy.”

Blushy starters (most of these are Angela)

Angela: “You have something in your hair, umm…Do you want me to get it out?”

Angela: “Oh yeah, you can call me whatever you want…That came out wrong.”

Amanda: “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”

Angela: “You can’t leave without letting me hug you first.”

Amanda: “That pet name was so gushy but also so cute.”

Angela: “Wanna, like- I mean, if you’re not busy…We could get lunch? Or like…coffee?”

Angela: “You look so comfy, and cuddle-able.”

Domestic Cuteness (most of these are Amanda)

Angela: “I can’t find the remote.” (Amanda: “I’m actually going to kill you.”)

Amanda: “I told you I have a meeting in an hour! Get out of the shower!”

Amanda: “As much as I’d like to stay in bed, I’ve gotta make breakfast.”

Amanda: “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Angela: “Snuggle with me.”

Amanda: “God you’re bleeding! How the hell did you do that?” (Angela: “I was trying to cut tomatoes.”)

Amanda: “How about this? I go out, get your favorite ice cream while you take a nice bath and by the time we’re both done, we can watch our show.”

Angela: “Damn it, I forgot the toothpaste.”

Angela: “You look exhausted. Go to bed, I’ll straighten up and take care of everything else.”

Amanda: “I put it on the grocery list!” (Angela: “I didn’t think I needed the list!”) “Well clearly you did!”

Amanda: “Hon, if you take any more naps on the couch you’re going to mess up your back.”

Amanda: “No, sweetie, it’s okay…”

Amanda: “I smell something burning, you sure you’re okay in there?” (Angela: “I’m fine! I’m fine!”)

Amanda: “Did you seriously use the last of the milk for this?” (Angela: “I thought it would taste good!”

Worried/Relieved

Amanda: “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Angela: “You said you’d only be two hours, two!”

Amanda: “Please. Be careful. I’m serious.”

Angela: “Are you hurt? You look hurt, are you sure everything’s okay?”

Amanda: “You don’t have to go out there again if you don’t want to.”

Angela: “Bring a damn charger next time, you scared the shit out of me!”

Amanda: “I’m so proud of you. So proud.”

Angela: “Don’t overdo it. Please.”

Amanda: “I’ll go. You’ve done enough for the day.”

Angela: “I couldn’t find you and I just thought something happened, alright?”

Amanda: “I just needed to hear your voice. I just needed to hear it.”

Angela: “What the hell happened?”

Smut

Amanda: “If we get caught, I’m blaming you.”

Angela: “Wow, I didn’t realize you were that…flexible.”

Amanda: “If you don’t like my teasing, why are you moaning?”

Angela: “You’re mine. And I don’t share.”

Amanda: “Come sit in my lap.”

Angela: “You’re so beautiful, all spread out like this. Just for me.”

Amanda: “Okay, let’s not ruin the sofa.”

Angela: “Uh, yep that’s me. I love to fuck, that’s me.”

Amanda: “I’d hold onto something if I were you.”

Angela: “Let me give you a reason to stay in bed.”

Amanda: “If you want it, you better beg.”

Angela: “You can get louder, can’t you?”

Caretaker

Amanda: “Keep breathing, you’re doing great.”

Angela: “I’m right here, babe. Just look at me.”

Amanda: “Keep breathing, you’re doing great.”

Angela: “Shut up so I can help you.”

Amanda: “Talk to me. Tell me about something you like.”

Angela: “You don’t have to be ashamed. Everyone needs someone.”

Amanda: “Try to eat something.”

Angela: “What do you need?”

Amanda: “Shh-No, no, don’t panic. You’re right here.”

Angela: “You’ve got a really bad fever. That must have caused some really weird dreams.”

Amanda: “Do you want to try to go back to sleep? Should I make tea?”

Angela: “How long has this been going on?”

[haloxsaisha]

So Good.

[Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Reader]

Based on: So Good by Halsey.

Warnings: Angst, Abu Dhabi and Monza 2021 (I'm so sorry), some fluff, few cheesy dialogues (cause I'm a dumbass), depression, insomnia, eating disorder and weight loss.

Word Count: 15.5K words (I've never written this much in my life so far, I'm so proud of myself).

A/N: My first Lewis fic, I wasn't expecting it to be done with during the Abu Dhabi race week but oh well💀 I'm personally quite happy with how this turned out! I hope y'all like it <33

Bold and italicized font: song lyrics.

Italicized font: flashbacks.

“I remember the night, I was so frustrated.”

You could only bury your hands, head filled with shock and completely blank.

You never thought this would ever happen to anybody, let alone just him. Nobody who had watched the sport did.

Everything inside you began to sink in the moment the whole mess about unlapping the cars started and as the rest of the race unfolded, you felt yourself crumbling.

Lewis staying in his car in silence, in disbelief at the parc ferme had been playing on your mind again and again.

You were supposed to be there. You had to be there for him.

You had apologized to him multiple times for not being there in a championship decider race, especially at a win that was so historically important but he dismissed your countless apologies saying that he could understand. You had been shooting for a movie in London since November, which also meant that you hadn't met each other in more than a month, work and COVID restrictions making its way in. There was one thing that you and Lewis always stood by, which was that your jobs would be given the first priority. Understandable from both sides because your works usually involve a lot of people, meaning that compromising on it was quite hard and it was also very important to both of you from an emotional perspective, although you had to admit the Formula 1 driver was reaching an equivalent position to your work in your heart.

You watched him speak in the post race interview and then the moment he shared with his father, leaning his head as he took in the encouraging words being whispered in his ear. He had always been so strong and it was something you admired about him.

You sent him a message (which you hoped would provide a bit of comfort), mentioning that what happened was unfair, he deserved that win after everything he'd been through the entire season and that night and how proud you were of him. Also adding that he could call you when he felt like doing so because he wouldn't be in the headspace to talk to people at the time.

Seven hours later, you were done with your scenes for the day at ten in the night. The first thing you did after entering the vanity was checking your phone and your message to him was still at 'delivered', which increased your worry and anxiety.

After a bit, you got the idea of dropping a message to Angela, who was somebody you were close to too. You knew the Wolffs, Miles and Daniel, you even met his parents, stepmum and his siblings too when you'd been to the Silverstone race but Angela was somebody you bonded along with very well. She was one of the sweetest persons you'd met and also took care of you like an older sister would whenever you were around.

But you'll only get a response a while later since it's probably the wee hours at Abu Dhabi right now, you thought as you sighed. The race and your work has already drained out all your energy and despite your mind being absolutely restless because of how anxious you felt, but you had to drive yourself to sleep somehow. The director wouldn't be happy seeing her lead actress with puffy eyes and barely any energy the next day.

By the time you landed on your bed, it struck midnight and your phone let out the notification sound, showing the message from Angela which said that Lewis wasn't doing great and hadn't spoken to anybody yet.

Now how were you going to be able to sleep after knowing that?

“I touch your hand for the first time, I see it on your face, then another lifetime's flashin' by.”

"You see the star there? That one's called Sirius." he tells you, pointing to a specific region in the night sky.

"I didn't peg you to be somebody who was familiar with Harry Potter references, Hamilton." you give him a surprised, yet impressed look.

"There's a lot more to me than meets the eye darling, you'll see." he tells you cockily and you playfully rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"This might just be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen." you said in awe, your eyes fixed at the sparkling stars laid on an endless canvas of the dark blue sky.

"Mhm yeah, it definitely is." the sweet and distracted voice of the man who'd been surrounding you and your thoughts for the past couple of months came through and you turned your head towards him, finding him looking at you.

You felt your cheeks heat and you could only let out a giggle in response, not knowing how to respond because of how flustered he made you feel.

Lewis Hamilton was definitely a lot more cheesy than one would ever assume.

"I'm sorry I couldn't plan anything fun, there's pandemic restrictions so everything around is almost shut." he apologizes and you melt at how heartful he sounds about it.

"Don't be ridiculous Lew, I've loved every moment of this date so far." you assure him with a soft smile. Star gazing with somebody you've admired for so long as a first date was something that nobody could beat.

"Well, how can I make the date better?" he asks and your eyes light up in silent laughter thinking he's joking but then you look at him, it turns out that he was actually being serious.

Dear god, what type of dates had this man been on?

"Well that's a hard one because I feel like the date has already met the standards." you pretend to think for a moment "Maybe you could let Roscoe join us?" you ask him, giving him a grin which made him fall for you even more.

"Now that's not fair." he playfully whines "This time is for us. He loves you too much, will take away all your attention from me." he said, referring to all the times the both of you spend with your mutual friends. He was right, the bulldog did take a lot of your time.

"Well I've at least gotta win over one heart right?" you said, reflecting your doubts about him considering if the thing between the both you was anything serious or not.

"Well in that case, his heart will be the second one you've won over from this house." he said and you looked at him, your eyes softening with warmth and your cheeks turning red as you move closer to him.

He feels it too, you thought as he wrapped his arm around you, making you sigh in bliss.

Nearly two years later, the morning after the catastrophic race, the first thing you saw after waking up were the words "I don't think I can do this anymore, I need some space and time away." on your phone and at that moment, you had been absolutely destroyed.

It felt like everything in you had just been dropped down and shattered without any noise, you just feel so hollow and empty on the inside.

You couldn't ridicule him for feeling devastated, anybody would understand how much yesterday meant to him and how it affected him even if they didn't know him personally.

But you believed that you were comfortable enough to be with each other through any situation, happiness or despair. You believed that he found the same comfort, solace and safety that you found in him.

But it turns out that he didn't. The both of you went all the way from a video call like a regular couple would before the race to a text like somebody that didn't really mean anything to him a later, he pushed you out.

“I bet you're happy and that's fine. But I regret just one thing, I never got to change your mind”

He'd been back on the screens for the next season. Despite all the news about him discontinuing racing, you knew he'd go back.

Racing was everything to him, it was quite literally everything he'd known. He'd spoken openly about the struggles that him and his dad faced to reach where he was in the racing industry.

He knew how to rise up from the worst moments, he always had it in him.

You were still a mess. It had been almost three months since the text which broke everything in you. But there he was, having interviews with his teammate, a happy grin on his face.

Being an F1 fan for a long time, you always kept up with whatever news was on about the grid and Lewis had quite the spotlight when it came to headlines about his professional life or personal life.

You knew that he wasn't really the person for serious relationships after a point in his career. All of his focus was on Formula 1, rightfully so, which was why one night stands and short flings were what he went for.

You knew that even before you met him, you knew it whilst being friends but you still agreed to date him despite that one thing freaking you out. He had a hold on you, such an aura around him. You were always in this bubble of happiness, positivity and peace when you were with him.

Although his past relationships made you think about a lot of 'what if-s', how could you say no to a guy who made you feel like that?

Well, this was the consequence of giving in to emotions rather than logic. Your heart had been shattered like fritted glass, while he was back to normal like the break up was nothing but a minor collateral damage.

Work was always a top priority but all those moments that the both of you shared had a lot of meaning right?

“And I'm doin' okay. In the back of my mind, all I hear is your name”

The last time you slept well was the night before the Abu Dhabi race. You were normally a light sleeper, which gave you a pretty decent amount of sleep to feel good the next day.

But ever since that night, your sleep had come down only a few hours every week. You'd just walk about the room feeling restless, scroll through your phone or laptop or the television to pass time, there were some days where you just stared at the ceiling, the thoughts in your head just rushing in with memories of Lewis and you'd end up bursting into tears, sleeping over taking you after your eyes would turn red and puffy. And after two or three hours, you'd be awake again, tossing and turning around the bed.

And it was safe to say the sight of food started making you feel sick, your face would literally scrunch at the sight of it. But you still had to eat a minimum amount of food that would help you survive a day at work. Completely cutting out on food, which you had the urge to do, would completely affect the image on you and your career, which you felt was too risky.

Everybody had noticed you spiralled down, you could feel it too but you just stopped caring about anything after a point, you just felt so empty in your head to push yourself. Acting was the only thing that had you taking steps forward in life.

Soon enough, there were articles out on the news about you, commenting on the drastic weight loss that had been noticed in you, caused by the change in your eating habits. Your fans also began to notice how your use of social media had come down drastically, since you always had the habit of interacting with them frequently and also shared random pictures and videos from your day at work, especially if it was in a place far from home.

And that made the pressure from the people close to you increase. After getting to know about your break up with Lewis, your parents and close friends urged you to talk more, to let out how you were feeling. But you always convinced them by saying that you were alright, that you understood why he needed the break up and you just went along with life, your work satisfying you at the moment.

The moment you came back home after you were done with the movie you were working on for the past couple of months, the first thing your mum did was make you sit next to her and reminded you of all the hard times you'd been through, of all the people you had in your life who still cared for you and loved you, about how there were people out there who admired your work.

And that's when it struck you, that yes, you did lose a particular feeling love in your life. But there was so much more to life that made living your life whole heartedly rather than making it more painful for you, more that you'd already been through because of your heart getting broken by a certain British man.

You took a small break from your work and the fast life around you, spending the time with your family and friends, parallelly going to therapy as well. Although the scar of that heartbreak was always going to remain, the slow paced yet quality time helped your wounds heal little by little.

And then you were back to work, feeling better than you'd been for the past couple of months. You were able to breathe freely, feeling the light weighted space in you.

But there were still certain things that reminded you of him. One day, you saw a bull dog being taken on a walk by its owner, your mind would fly to how Roscoe would lie down in between you and Lewis, snuggling in the night. The smell or sight of tea would remind you about how the both of you would keep arguing about whether tea or coffee was better, you loving coffee and him being always so British and loving tea. But nevertheless he knew how to make coffee the way you liked it and you knew the same for his tea. The sound of a piano would remind you of the times he would play it and sing his favourite songs, even teaching you the basics of how to play it sometimes. Stargazing and watching Formula 1 was something you just stopped altogether, not being able to handle the intensity of the emotions it brought in you.

If there was anything that made you feel relieved now, it was about how it didn't hurt as much as it used to and how the control he had your thoughts had come down.

"Talkin' wildly out of context, I wish things were different. But I'll never know”

What the hell just happened, you thought as you looked at the screen of the TV in the garage.

It took you everything to not break into a string of curse words but if anything, you were really worried if Lewis was okay.

The man literally had a car on top of his with the tyres nearly touching his head, dear god.

And you had no clue how he would react after coming back to the garage. He wasn't the one to tantrums but was he somebody who just stayed quiet? Did he deal with the anger he felt? Would he like having anybody around him to comfort him? Or did he prefer being alone?

You had spent a good number of days with him, an amount of time that could turn into a bunch of months if you added them up, but all the races you'd been to for the past year were always good ones. You were there when he won his seventh world championship but this was the first time you were around during a bad race, a one with a scary DNF.

He didn't know you were here for the race. Due to the COVID protocols, you had to quarantine for a few days before being able to meet Lewis and you didn't have a break or gap of that many days that often which made being at his races quite hard. So you thought that you could surprise him at the Monza GP, coming into the garage after he got into the car.

What you planned was to hide in some corner of the Mercedes garage and meet him in his driver's room after he went there, yelling a cheerful "surprise!". But you obviously couldn't do that now, considering what just happened. How you would meet him was barely on your mind now, you were scared about how he was after the crash.

"Hey, he's back in his driver's room. You can go and meet him now." Angela came and told you, a few minutes after you were restlessly tapping your feet up and down.

"Oh thank god, how is he? No injuries right?" you ask her anxiously, a shaky breath leaving your body.

"He's alright now, nothing serious has happened to him. He has some headache and pain in the neck, he'll be back to normal in a matter of some time." she assures you, giving you a comforting smile and places her around your shoulder, knowing how worried you get about him.

"Would he be alright with having me around now Ange? I think he'd want some silence for now." you said, giving her an unconvincing smile.

"Don't be ridiculous, he just had a scary race. None of his family and close friends are around now either, he'll obviously love to have you around now. You'll make his day better and he'll calm down." Angela convinces you and you walk towards his driver's room, still debating in your mind if you should step in or not.

Angela knocks the door and speaks out so that Lewis thinks it her, rushing towards the team before Lewis opens the door so that the both of you can have your space.

The sound of the room's door opening brings you out of your over thinking. "Um, hey?" you tell him in a shaky voice, eyes scanning over him to see if he was alright. Of course Angela wouldn't lie to you but for some reason, it wasn't sinking in your mind until you saw him.

His eyes widened in surprise "You're here? Wait a minute- you're actually here." he says and his reaction made your nerves calmed down a bit.

"Well, the plan was to keep a rather happy surprise." you say, giving him a weak smile "If you want to be alone for some time, I'll go back and sit with Ange, I totally understand-" he cut off your rambling by taking your hand in his and pulling you in for a hug.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm glad you're here. C'mon in." he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his forehead on your shoulder "missed you and that scent so much." he mumbles as you place your hand through his braids, running your fingers through his hair to calm him down, like he always liked it.

"I can feel your heartbeat and it's going crazy. We've been together for a year and I still scare you?" he teases you, referring to the initial days of knowing him. Timid was an understatement. Having been a huge fan of the sport and him for years before you first met him, you always shared many shy smiles and few words with him, scared that your rather talkative side which always went on rambling would annoy him.

"I don't know- that just, that was scary. I'm so worried baby, the tyre was literally so close to your head." you sighed as he sat on the couch, placing you on his lap.

"Stuff like this happens time and again in racing, you've watched it over the years. At that moment I tried to shuffle inside the car as much as possible and lowered my head down, so nothing from the car reached my head. Don't worry sweetheart, I'm totally alright." he says, rubbing circles on your waist in the hopes of calming you down.

"Ange told me you have a headache and neck pain though, don't lie to me." you mumbled, pushing away the braids to a side and placing a small kiss on his forehead. He just gives you a reassuring smile, his eyes signifying that it'll be gone soon and he places his head on your shoulder, snuggling in for comfort as you placed your hand on his back and rubbing it up and down.

Thinking of the memory from that day made you wonder only one thing. Would the both of you still be together if you were together? If he would've seeked your comfort or just push you away nevertheless.

You guess you'd never know, Monza was one DNF while what happened at Abu Dhabi was something brought in such loss and affected his perspective about his career and life.

You knew it didn't end well, there were so many things left unspoken between the two of you. It was bad, but both of you would've been so good together.

[mariacallous]

In many areas of health, women receive worse care, and suffer worse outcomes, than men. Women experience higher rates of adverse drug reactions. Across hundreds of diseases, they are diagnosed later than men. Women are more likely to suffer from common mental health conditions. In moments of acute pain, women are less likely to be given painkillers.

One small positive is that this gender health gap is finally getting the attention it deserves. “We’re much more aware of these issues now than we were previously,” says Angela Saini, a journalist and the author of Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong. “It’s become a huge topic right across academia, medical research, health institutions, everywhere. Even everyday people see it in the press all the time.”

Seeing this health gap is one thing. Knowing what causes it is another—as only then can it be fixed. Ahead of speaking at WIRED Health in London on March 19, Saini sat down with WIRED to talk about how the gender health gap is misperceived and what needs to change for it to be closed. This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

How is the gender health gap being misunderstood?

We make assumptions about sex and gender which may not explain the gaps that we’re seeing. It’s very common for people to make very bold assertions about men’s and women’s bodies being completely different, and needing a completely different system of health care, needing different regimes of research, when in fact, sex only really matters in certain contexts when it comes to health.

Very often what we’re seeing in terms of gender health gaps are failures to do with sexism, and misdiagnosis because of assumptions based on history and myths in health research.

Take heart attacks. Women are very likely to have them. But society associates heart attacks with men. When a man has typical heart attack symptoms, people—and I mean everyone, men, women, health professionals—are much quicker to identify that as a heart attack than when a woman has exactly the same symptoms. We don’t think of women as having heart attacks in the same way as men. That’s not a sex difference—it’s about the gender assumptions that we have that we associate with certain conditions.

Where we’re at now, there’s public awareness and academic awareness about gender health gaps. But work needs to be done at a much deeper level, from condition to condition, to understand what the actual reasons are underlying the differences we’re seeing. Is it a sex difference? Or is it sexism?

Where are these things being confused?

Consider the sleep drug zolpidem. Here’s a medicine the US Food and Drug Administration approved years ago, with guidance to doctors on different dosages for men and women. There are very few drugs like this. If you look at drug labeling, it’s very unusual to have different doses for men and women.

The reason given was that researchers noticed women were processing the drug more slowly than men. So in the morning, if they had taken this as an insomnia treatment the night before, women would still be feeling sleepy, which would be a problem if they had to drive a car or operate heavy machinery. So they said women should take half the dose.

But what later research revealed was that the difference doctors were seeing was less due to some innate sex difference and more to do with weight. The size of your body also impacts how quickly or how slowly you process a drug.

Well, if weight here is being used as a proxy for sex or gender, a larger woman would need the higher dose; a smaller man a lower dose. So why would you just not use weight as the measure for what dose a person should get? That would be a much more effective way of deciding. But because we collect data along certain lines and not others, then guidelines get written along certain lines and not others.

To give another example, sometimes women’s pain is not fully appreciated when they come forward. Women are statistically more likely to go to a doctor when in pain compared to a man. But then common myths and assumptions start to emerge: “It’s not that serious.” “She’s being hysterical.”

So there are lots of things to pick apart here. It’s the picking apart that we often don’t bother with. We just see a difference, and then that gets ascribed to something without us really knowing what the root cause is.

So how can we get better at picking apart sex differences and sexism to reduce the gender health gap?

For me, it’s about taking medicine to the next level of investigation, which is at the level of the social determinants of health. Many of the things that kill most of us have a huge social or environmental component. Things like diet, stress, the way that we are treated in society.

It’s only relatively recently that research started to be done into the impact of sexism and racism on health, and the impact of other social factors. The job that you do, your status as a married person or not, these can also have health outcomes.

So there’s all these little pieces where research is needed, and it’s an ongoing project. It's not as though you’ll only do a study once into the effects of being married or being a stay-at-home wife on your health. Because those social factors are always changing.

Sex and gender is an aspect of this social story. But it’s important to understand where it can be appropriately invoked. Sometimes gender is relevant, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes sex matters, sometimes it doesn’t.

What’s standing in the way of things getting better?

Well, research funding agencies are much more interested in looking inside our bodies for explanations for why things are as they are. The outside world is much more difficult to study, because social circumstances are always changing. They can be very different between households, even within households. It’s much harder to collect data on social circumstances.

But we’re at the stage where we can learn so much from people’s mobile phones tracking their activity. Data is being collected on what people are eating, their movements, how active they are. Eventually we’ll be able to build personalized pictures of people, and stop generalizing about people in groups and assuming that they’re typical of that group, and then understand them as a complex individual.

Who is making progress on understanding and closing the gender health gap?

Sarah Richardson’s team at Harvard University—she runs the GenderSci Lab—has done incredible work breaking down the causes of gender health disparities. They’re getting medical researchers to think very carefully about the context of the conditions that they're investigating.

The team did brilliant work during the pandemic. At the beginning there were all these very wild claims about gender differences with the virus—for instance, that women were protected because on average they have a stronger immune system. They showed that if you looked at the data this didn’t really hold up. They helped dispel this very pseudoscientific assumption that the virus was hitting all populations uniformly, and helped end the neglect of demographic patterns as a factor in Covid, the kind of jobs that people were doing, who were frontline workers, and so on.

This work around sex contextualism, as Richardson calls it, is a really compelling model for how to think about sex and gender in research.

[asharkapologist]

Updated CC Ships Tier List + Some Explanations

So I saw some people circling around these tier lists, and I thought I'd add with my two cents, plus some explanations for some potentially more controversial placements.

I don't hate Sofia/Gabriel or anything, I just don't think Sofia had much of a presence in the game, and therefore, I never really got into the Sofia/Gabriel ship. But if you like it, more power to you!

I don't hate Angela or anything like that. Conversely, I think she's a very interesting character. I just can't see her and Lars working out at the point in canon where we see them last. It's clear Lars is horrified by what she's done, even if she would never harm him or their daughters. I do NOT think she was/is abusive to Lars or anything like that.

I don't hate Asal or anything like that. I don't demonize her so I can ship Jack/Lars. I only hate Jack/Asal because Jack treats her HORRIBLY after they break up, and is INCREDIBLY immature, still fixated on her months after their relationship ended. It gets to the point where he is ACTIVELY SHAMING HER for potentially having some sort of relationship with the French spy guy who gets killed, while she is IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER BEING STABBED. That's right, Jack shamed a woman who barely survived a brush with death because he was jealous of a dead, MURDERED man. Asal deserves better than Jack.

[fluentmoviequoter]

Falling Slowly

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!rookie!reader

Summary: You are Tim's newest rookie, and his favorite. He treats you differently, able to see that your past affects you, and the little things build up until you can't deny your feelings.

Warnings: so much fluff, brief angst, domestic violence (Tim and reader respond to a call & allusions to past dv against reader), one scene is inspired by "The Switch" (1x4)

Word Count: 4.0k+ words

A/N: This doesn't really fit in any specific season, so I put characters in the roles I wanted them to have and just made up some names to fill in the gaps. Hopefully everything makes sense. Please let me know what you think!

Picture from Pinterest

“What are you doing here?” Angela asks, surprised to see Tim.

Furrowing his brows, Tim answers, “I’m here for the TO meeting.”

Angela tilts her head back and groans, passing Nyla a 10-dollar bill.

“She thought you’d give up your position for Metro,” Nyla explains.

“I’d like to, someday, but not today,” Tim replies.

“20 bucks this is his last one,” Angela says to Nyla. “He still has the open invite to Metro and his patience can’t take many more boots.”

Nyla reaches to shake Angela’s hand as Tim rolls his eyes and walks away.

“Let me see his rookie first, then we’ll talk,” Nyla decides. “I’ve got a feeling a lot is going to change around here.”

“Like what?” Angela asks. “Nyla! Like what?”

✯✯✯✯✯

Walking into the Mid-Wilshire station on your first day as a rookie is both nerve-wracking and exciting. You’ve heard stories about boots making it through the academy to fail once they reach this level, but you’re determined. When you were a kid, you were in bad situations more often than any child should be, but kind police officers changed your life, and you’d like to do the same.

Waving to one of your police academy friends, you sit in the bullpen, waiting impatiently to learn which officer behind you will be your training officer. Getting the perfect training officer is up to fate, based on what you’ve heard, and your TO can make or break your career.

“Good morning, boots! I am Watch Commander Wade Grey. You have made it through the police academy, but don’t expect a pat on the back, your work is just beginning. This is the time to prove yourself, to show your TO, me, and this city why you deserve to be a police officer.” He pauses, moving around the podium to add, “If you should be a police officer.”

As you listen intently, striving to remember every word Sergeant Grey says, two detectives stand at the back of the room and evaluate the rookies.

“He’s only got one shot,” Angela mutters.

“If he gets the pretty one in the front, I’m not taking the bet,” Nyla says.

Angela looks up a row, her brows raising when she sees you. “If he ends up with her, we’re starting a station-wide pool and getting rich,” she adds.

“Now, it’s time to be assigned to your judge, jury, and executioner,” Wade says with a smile. “Or, as we call them, TOs. Our former rookie turned TO, Nolan: you’ve got Edward Henderson.

 Officer Nolan nods at Henderson, and you remember his story: a late-life rookie who got a golden ticket. Part of you wants to work with him and learn why he decided on law enforcement, but you only nod at Henderson before turning back around.

“Lance Vincent, you are with our newest TO, Eliza Reagan.”

Wade says your name with a smile that seems a bit more genuine than before. “Officer Bradford, last but not least,” he says as he assigns you your new TO.

You look over your shoulder, a small smile on your face as he nods at you. He is undeniably attractive, and you hope it doesn’t cause any problems.

“Oh, he’s a goner,” Nyla whispers under her breath when you smile at Tim.

“Should we tell him?” Angela replies.

“I think we’ll have to.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Something about you bothers Tim. Not in the usual, grumpy-with-a-new-boot way, but he has a sense that you’re different. 

“Nice to meet you,” you say, walking to Tim at the back of the bullpen.

He stands, offering a calloused hand to shake.

“I’m not going to pretend this is going to be easy or fun,” he tells you. “Being a rookie is the hardest part of your career, but if you’re a good cop under the uniform, you’ll be fine.”

Nodding, you promise to do your best and express your willingness to learn everything you can from him.

“Good,” he says. “Meet me outside the war room. We’re not wasting any time, understood?”

“Yes, sir,” you answer.

Tim watches you walk away, and when you stop to let someone carrying a large box cross in front of you, Tim realizes that you’re hurting, or were hurting not long ago. The underlying need to help people is something he recognizes.

“She’s pretty,” Angela muses, walking to Tim’s side.

“Though you know that,” Nyla adds, smiling on his other side.

“She’s a boot. No different than the other rookies,” Tim argues, though his gaze is still on your back as you sign for your bags and weapons.

“Sure, she is. Why don’t you go put her through a Tim test?” Angela suggests.

Tim rolls his eyes as he leaves, wondering what hurt you bad enough to make you want to be a cop. He became a cop despite his hurt, but you’re young and bright – and too good for him – so there must be something in you that makes you worthy of this. More worthy (and more beautiful) than any rookie before you.

✯✯✯✯✯

Several officers wish you luck, with one or two warning you about so-called “Tim Tests” while you wait for Tim behind the shop.

“Don’t tell me you have a checklist,” Tim begins, drawing your attention away from the shop tires.

“No, sir,” you answer. “Just being vigilant, I suppose. I’d hate to start my first day with a flat tire.”

Tim nods, asking where the war bags are. You tell him how you checked the contents and loaded them into the trunk, and he appreciates your brief explanation.

“Good work. The easy part is over,” Tim says. He seems to weigh his options before deciding, “You drive. Show me what you’ve got.”

He follows you to the driver’s side door, opening it as he reminds you of standard shop procedures. As Tim closes the door, you wonder if he’s a gentleman or if he followed you because he doesn’t trust you to drive correctly. Either way, you know what you’re doing, and you won’t let the man in the passenger seat distract you… too much.

Driving toward Wilshire Boulevard for patrol, Tim looks out the window. 

“Blue Camaro has an expired plate,” you alert.

“Call it in.”

You do so, hitting the sirens as you engage the traffic stop. Tim raises a hand to stop you from getting out.

“Remember your training. Don’t let the situation get away from you.”

His words linger in your mind, and you complete the stop with no problem, issuing a ticket and returning to the shop.

“I’m driving,” Tim alerts you, spreading his hand across the small of your back as he directs you to the sidewalk.

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask when he starts the car.

“No,” he answers bluntly.

You lick your lips nervously, turning your attention to your surroundings. Suddenly, Tim pulls over and hits the brakes.

“I’ve been shot, boot. Where are we?” Tim demands.

Furrowing your brows in surprise at his actions, you answer, “Intersection of 12th and Meadowbrook, west of Redondo. There are several hospitals in a five-mile radius, but only one has a trauma center.”

Tim pulls out wordlessly, continuing his patrol route. Tim doesn't say much else throughout the few hours between his first test and lunch. He lets you point things out, answers your questions about the area and procedures, and glances at you out of the corner of his eye. When he pulls up to a small circle of food trucks where several police officers are waiting, he turns toward you.

“You’re doing well. I’m not neglecting to give you good feedback for any reason other than once you start riding alone, you won’t get it. My role here is to prepare you for your solo career, not hold your hand until you get there.”

“I understand, sir. Thank you for answering my questions,” you reply as you open the door.

Tim’s hand finds your upper back as he leads you to his favorite of the food trucks, a light touch that disappears nearly as quickly as it happened. You thank him quietly for the suggestion before sitting with your fellow rookies.

“Hi, Tim,” Angela says.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, his annoyance breaking through his growing fondness for you.

“Just came to get some food. Your boot seems to be in a good mood.”

“Strange, I thought Tim’s thing was ‘break their spirits in the first hour,’” Nyla adds as she joins Angela.

“You two not have work to do or something?” Tim inquires.

“Something like that. How’s she doing?” Angela tips her chin toward you as she asks.

“She’s got good instincts, knows protocols.”

“But?”

Tim shrugs, turning away before Angela can dig deeper.

“I give it a week,” Nyla announces.

“Before what?”

“He can’t take it anymore.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Domestic disturbance in your area,” dispatch alerts.

Tim grabs the radio, accepting the call as he hits the sirens and turns into a residential area. You chew the inside of your bottom lip; domestic calls are your least favorite, especially when kids are involved. Unwilling to show discomfort, you put on your best brave cop face and follow Tim to the door.

A young girl with a bloody nose and teary eyes opens it, and you glance at Tim before kneeling and asking her to come outside. She listens without question, her lower lip wobbling as you smile.

“He’s hurting my mom,” she whimpers.

Tim nods at you before tilting his head toward the shop. You direct the girl to stand at the edge of the porch and wait for you as you follow Tim inside.

“LAPD, put your hands up!” Tim yells as he steps into a bedroom.

Your eyes widen when you see the large man towering over the girl’s mother. He smiles as he reaches for something.

“Don’t move unless you want to give me a reason,” Tim says lowly. “Step away.”

The man looks toward the nightstand before taking a deep breath and giving up. 

“I got it,” Tim tells you before radioing a code 4.

You wait until Tim has the handcuffs secured to walk outside. The girl runs into your arms, and you pop the shop's trunk, setting her down as you retrieve a small first aid kit. She lets you clean her bloody nose, gripping your wrist when it stings.

“Where’s my mom?” she asks.

“She’s talking to my partner right now, she’ll be out in a few minutes,” you explain.

“Is he nice?”

“The nicest,” you answer.

“Mom!” she yells, letting you set her on the ground before she runs to her mom’s side.

“Get in the shop,” Tim commands as he walks past, his hand brushing your arm as he closes the trunk.

You obey, climbing into the passenger seat and waiting as he talks to the EMTs. When he joins you, he drives to a quiet, empty street before switching off his body cam and gesturing for you to do the same.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice softer than you’ve heard.

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t say what I want to hear. Domestic calls are tough but that wasn’t your first one, was it?”

You shake your head, looking out the windshield instead of at Tim.

“We all have reasons for becoming a cop, and some calls are harder than others. As long as your past doesn’t get in the way and put you in danger, it’s okay to be human,” he continues. “TOs are notoriously hard on you, but we’re also here for you.”

“Thank you,” you whisper.

Tim shrugs, one corner of his lips upturned. “No more sappy stuff, we have work to do.”

“Oh, if you think that was sappy, I’ve got a lot to show you before I graduate to short sleeves.”

The comment catches Tim off guard and makes him feel something he didn’t expect.

✯✯✯✯✯

By the end of the first week, you feel like you know Tim well. His hand spread across your back or shoulder when you’re in front of him, his little reminders that you’re not alone, that you can show emotion when the time allows, and every other little thing he does makes you wonder why there are so many horror stories around his teaching style.

Likewise, Tim thinks he has you down. You ask him questions, ask for his opinions, listen and apply what he says, and send him small smiles when he compliments your work.

But, it only takes a shift to realize that people are multi-faceted, and cops and rookies are no different.

“Good morning,” you greet, passing Tim a small box.

“What is this? A bribe?” he asks.

You smile as you reply, “Nope. Just something I found, and I thought you’d like.”

Tim opens the box, his eyes widening at the 2000 Super Bowl tickets, the Rams’ first win. “I can’t accept these.”

“They were under a bookshelf in my apartment, it’s not like I spent a million dollars on them, Officer Bradford.”

Tucking them into his pocket, Tim opens your door. “Thank you.”

You smile, and Tim thinks your joy is the better gift.

✯✯✯✯✯

During your first call of that day, you show Tim that you don’t just value his opinions.

“Shots fired!” you radio as you duck behind the car.

“Are you hit?” Tim asks.

Shaking your head, you move closer, trusting him to direct you and keep you safe. The men in the house you were called to have automatic weapons, and though you’re a good shot, you’re not a match for their guns alone.

“Backup is on the way, but I need you to do something for me. You trust me?” Tim adds.

“I do.”

“Reach around the back and open the trunk; just far enough to reach the latch. I’ll cover you.”

He stands above you, firing into the shattered window of the house as you slip your arm and back around the end of the shop and open the trunk.

“Good, perfect,” Tim praises as he ducks beside you. His knuckles graze yours as he leans past you. “Can you reach the shotguns?”

Glancing in the window above you, you locate them quickly. “I can.”

“Do it. I got you.”

Once the shotguns are in your hands, you pass one to Tim as you ready your own. Timing your shots, you take out two shooters just as your backup arrives.

“You’re bleeding,” Tim says, his adrenaline dropping as a tactical team takes over.

You look at your arm, just noticing your ripped sleeve and bloody skin. Tim lays his hands on your arm as he turns it toward him.

“I think it was just glass from the windshield,” you say quietly, pointing to the car behind you, riddled with bullet holes and broken glass.

“Either way, we need to get it checked out.”

“Officer Bradford?” you interject. “Thank you. For making sure I trust you.”

“Thanks for trusting me,” he mutters, so soft you can barely hear it.

He taps the Super Bowl tickets in his pocket as he rises to get a paramedic to check on you, and you smile, wondering how bad it would be if you fell in love with your TO.

✯✯✯✯✯

“You’re quieter than usual,” Tim points out. “I need to know that whatever is bothering you won’t impair your ability to work with me.”

“It won’t,” you promise. “Sorry.”

Tim considers pressing, but he trusts you. “I’m here. If you decide you want to talk about it.”

He exits the shop and opens your door before you can reach for the handle.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Did you see that?” Nyla gushes, elbowing Angela.

“Ow. See what?”

Nyla points to Tim, closing your door and laying a hand on your shoulder as he ducks his head to talk to you.

“That’s not a reprimand,” Angela deduces.

When you smile, a tiny upturning of your lips, Nyla laughs.

“Oh, that boy… The door, the touches, listening to her? He’s gone.”

“Not just him,” Angela adds. “She asks him questions, smiles at him, trusts him more than anyone… and the Super Bowl tickets? They’re adorable.”

“Should we do something?”

“Not yet. I think they’re close to realizing.”

✯✯✯✯✯

After your longest, and worst, day yet, you find yourself in a hospital waiting room beside Tim. He hasn't said anything since a speeding driver ran into your side of the shop, though you've apologized countless times (even though there's nothing you could have done).

Tim’s jaw is clenched so tight you’re worried it will snap. You’re sitting close to him, a bandage around your wrist and an ice pack pressed to your cheek.

“Sorry,” you whisper.

“Stop- stop apologizing, it’s not your fault,” Tim sighs.

His arm is on the armrest between you, and you move your hand toward his. When he doesn’t back away, you turn your arm to allow your knuckles to brush against his.

“It’s not your fault,” you tell him kindly. “He ran a red light.”

“And you could’ve been killed,” Tim replies, standing abruptly and walking away.

You slump in your seat, dejected and curious about what you could say to make him stop blaming himself for someone running into you.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Tim and his rookie sitting in a tree,” Nyla sings under her breath.

“I don’t have time for this right now,” Tim replies.

“Right, because you’re too busy being mad that she got hurt. Cops get hurt Tim,” Angela reminds him.

“Not with me,” he begins, pausing to take a deep breath. “Despite what you think, I’m upset that she got hurt, not because I’m in love with her.”

“Whatever you got to hear, buddy,” Nyla replies. “But tell me this. If it was Nolan when he was a boot, would you have felt this bad? Even if I believed you didn’t have feelings for her, which I don’t, you’re different with her and you know it.”

Tim sighs, looking out the door at you. He knows it’s true; despite his constant denial, he does treat you differently because you are different, and you’re like a magnet, incapable of being ignored or forgotten. Finally confessing it to himself, Tim knows that his feelings for you will get one or both of you in trouble unless something changes.

✯✯✯✯✯

“It is time for The Switch,” Wade says as he walks into the bullpen. “The day you ride with a new TO.”

You glance at Tim, who gives you an encouraging nod. He tells you that you’re a great rookie, but he also tells you that you’re pretty sometimes, which doesn’t seem pertinent (or always true, in your eyes). Wade says your name, and you look up.

“You’re with Nolan,” he tells you.

Smiling at Nolan, you cross your fingers under the desk that it’s a good day. 

“Henderson,” you call as he stands up, “what’s Nolan like?”

“He’s great. Really understanding and knowledgeable. A little talkative, but fairly easy going. Just stick to protocol and listen to his directions; you’ll be fine.”

“What about Bradford?” Vincent asks you. “Everyone says he’s the toughest. Anything I should be aware of?”

“I don’t think so. He’s quiet sometimes, but he’s great.”

You collect your war bag with the expectation of a good day. You will miss Tim, but learning how another TO teaches and his views can be invaluable. As you slide into the driver’s seat beside Nolan, you realize something: you like Tim as more than your TO. He means more to you than just being your teacher, your mentor, and a trustworthy officer. The thought hits you so suddenly you're not sure where it came from.

With each passing moment, you find yourself remembering something Tim said or wanting to tell him something, but he isn’t there. Nolan is kind and laughs at your muttered comments, but it is nothing like riding with Tim. As you think about all the little things Tim does, everything begins to make sense.

Someone yells your name when you step out of the shop to get lunch. Turning, you’re surprised to see Vincent storming up to you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands.

“Tell you what?”

“That Bradford has ‘Tim Tests’ and nothing pleases him!”

You glance over his shoulder, finding Tim and Nolan talking. Tim glances over at you, and the tension in his shoulders seems to ease until Nolan says something else.

“His Tim Tests aren’t that bad; he’s just teaching you awareness and safety.”

“He wants to end my career,” Vincent exclaims before muttering something about you not understanding as he walks away.

✯✯✯✯✯

“How’s Vincent doing?” Nolan asks.

“That kid has no situational awareness,” Tim answers. “I stopped at a street sign, and he couldn’t figure out where we were.”

“He’s probably scared of you,” Nyla interjects. “And, no, Bradford, I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“My rookie can tell me where I am, no matter what,” Tim adds.

“Your rookie is very good, I’ll give you that,” Nolan replies. “But Vincent has potential. Besides, your boot has people problems.”

Tim glances over at you, locking eyes with you while Vincent talks to you dramatically.

“So do I, but I’m still a good cop.”

Nyla watches as both you and Tim sigh before abandoning the conversations you’re in. She shakes her head, calculating her winnings if the betting pool goes her way.

✯✯✯✯✯

Walking out of the locker room at the end of the day, you’re surprised to be called into Sergeant Grey’s office. You sit across from him, fiddling with the hem of your shirt to spend your nervous energy.

“You are being assigned to a new TO. Officer Bradford has decided to hand you off to someone better equipped to teach you,” Grey informs. “But you’re not in trouble.”

You still your hands in your lap. “Okay. Effective when?”

“Monday morning. So, rest up.”

As you stand, Grey says your name, smiling as he repeats, “You’re not in trouble. This was Bradford’s decision, nothing to do with you. Well, nothing to do with you as a rookie.”

You purse your lips at his phrasing, and he chuckles before sending you out. Walking through the parking lot, you see Tim’s truck is still there and decide to ask him what happened. Standing by the tailgate, you chew your bottom lip as you wait, nervous that you did something, though Wade assured you differently.

Tim walks up unnoticed, saying your name to get your attention.

“What did I do wrong?” you ask, jumping straight to your questions. “I can fix it; there has to be a way to fix it.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Tim promises. “I just can’t be your TO anymore.”

“Why not?”

Tim shifts his backpack on his shoulder. “It’s not appropriate.”

Your heart drops. Tim knows you have feelings for him, and it makes him uncomfortable; that’s the only explanation. Nodding slowly, you accept your fate.

“And I can’t do this,” Tim adds.

His hands slide onto your jaw, his palms against your cheeks as his fingers settle behind your ears, pulling you into a quick kiss. You only begin to respond when he pulls back.

“You’re the best boot I’ve ever had,” he whispers, brushing his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks.

“I’m not your boot anymore,” you remind him.

“That’s your fault. Those little gifts, and soft smiles, and how well you listen… You make it impossible not to fall for you.”

You laugh, leaning against his hands as you reply, “You do too. How do you think I felt when you called me pretty or touched my back? Then you kept comforting me and inviting me to talk. It was too easy.”

“Go to dinner with me?” he asks.

You nod, smiling against his hands before he moves to touch your back again, opening the passenger door as he helps you in. Tim slips his hand into yours, kissing your knuckles as he keeps you close.

✯✯✯✯✯

When the rest of the rookies leave the station, noticing that your car is still there, they ask each other if anyone has seen you.

“Bradford’s truck is gone,” Nyla notices as she walks out.

“Looks like we won,” Angela cheers.

“Where’s Bradford?” Vincent asks.

“On a date,” Nyla answers. “With his former boot.”

The rookies’ jaws drop, wondering how you managed to pull Mid-Wilshire’s resident grump.

“Don’t expect the same to happen to you,” Angela says as she passes the rookies. “We all worked for this one.”

[theflyindutchwoman]

I know it’s disappointing that Lucy ranked so low in the detective’s exam, but let’s not forget that hardship when it comes to promotions it’s nothing new in the show. Both Angela and Nolan had their problems before getting to their current positions. One of the first things we learned about Angela is that she wanted to make detective and she didn’t make it until season 3 and Nolan was sent away so he couldn’t take the TO exam (in hindsight they just handed him the promotion later on in season 5 but I hope it kinda shows my point?)

Don’t get me wrong, I would have love for our girl to get the score she actually deserves, but I also wanna see where we go from here.

Oh, as disappointed and enraged as I am for Lucy, I also want to see how this is all going to play out. And in light of her upcoming storyline, let's just say that I'm even more intrigued. But what makes this so heartbreaking is the unfairness of the situation and the optics. It was never about Lucy's competence, even though that's the only thing that should matter. It was never about the sprinklers. That was just a convenient excuse. She got penalised for something that might be questionable (the five-player trade and getting her man a promotion) but she didn't break any rule. Worse : her promotion was blocked by someone who directly reaped the rewards of what she did. Let's take the time to acknowledge that Primm is now a lieutenant while he was still referred as a detective in s5.

And yet, this is nothing new. When Lucy found out about her score, all I could think about was what she said back in s1 : "Look, this kind of obstacle is new to you, but it's status quo for me. You're a novelty item right now, but in 13 months, you'll be a P2, and the cops will treat you like one of the guys, but I'll- I'll have to prove myself to every cop I work with." (1.01) "You'll never be in my shoes. And you'll never know how unfair that is." (1.04) And I hope that this is acknowledged. I hope this is part of her arc. Because this is all too real for women. And even more so for women of color.

Because yes, you're right, Angela and Nolan faced some hardships before being promoted… In Angela's case, it was due to a terrible mistake that she did. One that had devastating consequences (don't get me wrong, it was heartbreaking to see Angela in that position and she more than earned her promotion). Now, Nolan's situation was far more similar to the one Lucy's in : he pissed off a higher-up who decided to block him. Only since it lasted one episode, I can barely consider this as a hardship. Especially since he actually got the Golden Ticket for his trouble. You know, the thing that Nyla got after years of intense undercover work… (again with the optics here). So unless Lucy gets back on track in an episode or two, that would be a major double standard. One that circles back to what Lucy said in s1. And one that isn't new. Nolan broke the rules several times along the years and while he got punished, it never really stuck for long. Whereas Lucy hasn't broken anything and still got penalised.

All of this to say that I don't mind this storyline as long as it is treated properly. Besides, it's not like we didn't know it was coming… We were warned since the moment we found out about the detective exam. So I am looking forward to seeing what Lucy will do next. One thing I know is that every time she has been underestimated, she has prevailed and proved herself. But that's part of the issue, isn't it? She still has to prove herself. Despite getting a medal, despite being handpicked for the UC Academy while still being on patrol, despite being chosen to act as Watch Commander for a day, despite being listed as the arresting officers while she was an aide… All of these things that were supposed to help her advance her career weren't enough in the end. Scratch that : it didn't even matter. And that's why it hurts so much. So I really hope that she gets everything she deserves at the end of her arc. That this is going to be her season :)

[kitty-av]

Hello CC fandom!

I've been lurking on CC Tumblr for a hot minute, and decided I needed to talk to people about the Facebook murder hidden objects/visual novel game. The brainrot won over the anxiety XD

I don't actually know a lot about the later games ( I watched like half of travel in time and the beginning district of MoTP and honestly it didn't feel the same. ) I mostly just brainrot over Pacific Bay and Save the World. I don't know why, but those are just MY games, you feel? The characters are just great, I vibe with them a lot. That being said, I doodled some of them!

I have no explanations or context except this. Amy influenced by Russell and the entirety of Pacific Bay would be unhinged in a good way. They become the CC equivalent of ' go kick his ass bby I got your flower ' if you get what I mean.

Angela loves Lars, I will die on that hill. She loves everyone, but Sombra is... Yknow, Sombra. Tell me they didn't try to threaten her husband and kids at least once, I dare you. Maybe it's me looking for nuance, but I firmly believe that besides her being raised in a cult essentially ( one of their branches literally was one ) she also thought there literally was no way she could stay with the team without sacrificing her family. I mean, Sombra agents got into and almost killed people in the Bureau multiple times. The only reason they didn't is because Jonah exists and he's not having any of it.

Speaking of STW, Michelle deserved better. I don't know why exactly, but I headcanon that because they were never shown together ( or so I remember ) she knew Jonah. Maybe she hired him for protection once. No other reason other than I feel they'd be those two friends that stay sober and drive everyone home after a party.

I'm really speaking about this because I randomly doodled these five, so I might as well give my thoughts.

I swear, I feel parched for interaction, I need more people to nerd out with over these games, even though I'm busy these days and likely will be. Is there maybe a discord server? Maybe I'll also lurk there ( likely not, knowing how excited I am to share all my little headcanons about these two games in particular) but it'll just feel nice to have that space to view more of people talking about the game. •^•

I'm open to doodling some more characters, but I'm doing it from memory, while bored at a seminar thing - and I'm also taking notes. I am a master of multitasking clearly. These are all done at the back of my notepad. XD

I suppose you guys can ask and I'll figure it out. I'm also probably going to give my thoughts on each character, or the little I remember if I don't.

I'm planning on rewatching Grimsborough gameplay soon because half of it has left my mind, and there isn't much emotional attachment, as with these two games, so... Yeah!

This is wordy because I'm feeling awkward posting into a smol fandom Tumblr honestly. I know it's not a crime at all, but it feels like I'm intruding into a sacred space or something XD

Well, I'll get used to it. So will you, hopefully. 👀💫

[neeterloveschenford]

So I had to take the day to get my thoughts in order and to make sure I was remembering certain things correctly. ( I wasn't. Thank you @theflyindutchwoman @cfr749 and @intelligentfan for helping this poor old brain remember.) Also, I wanted to get another re-watch (or two) in before I put my thoughts into words. So here's my two cents....

I've seen some people compare Lucy's journey to Nyla and Angela's. Let's put it out there: Angela almost completely ruined her chances of ever becoming a detective. She had to work her butt off to redeem herself. Otherwise, she would have spent the rest of her career as a TO. As for Nyla, yes she got a golden ticket, but she didn't use that to advance her career. She was already a detective. She used the golden ticket to basically take a step down to be a TO. This was so she could have the time to re-build her relationship with her daughter. She kept the detective title, but she went back on patrol. She could have done anything, but she put family first. So we can't really say that either lady had an easier career path than Lucy. That said, I'd like to talk about what I would like to see happen with Lucy and what I don't want to see.

First thing I'd like to see is Lucy being lifted up by Angela. Yes, Nyla is her mentor, but Angela's struggle was closer to Lucy's. And selfishly I'd love to see more interaction between those two. Don't get me wrong, I want to see Nyla outraged over Lucy's treatment by Primm, but I want to see Angela share with Lucy her own feelings of failure that she had to get through.

Secondly, I would love to see Pine throw her two cents in. She is a powerful woman who has risen to a high ranking position. She could give Lucy a serious confidence boost by letting her know she is on her side.

As for the things I don't want to see, I absolutely do not want her to get a golden ticket. I want her to get this promotion on her merits. I want Primm to have to eat crow and admit she is an amazing officer. In reality something like a golden ticket is pretty rare. It would be a little much to have three officers in the same division with golden tickets.

The other thing I don't want to happen is Tim stepping in and saying something to Primm. I've had jobs where I've been the only female with serious alpha males. Something like that would have made my life miserable. Lucy needs to be the one to put Primm in his place.

So that 's my thoughts on Lucy's future. Lucy deserves this promotion. She has worked hard and has become an outstanding officer. I hope the remainder of this season is going to be about her redemption.

[sage-lights]

hello, this is the final update from the sword af closure anon that has also been on a dread journey. things have been so stressful at work so i haven't had time, but decided to spend the past 2 days just watching smosh vs zombies. and it's perfect.

dread, i love u. smosh and shortform ttrpgs, u were made for each other. 😔💔 i love dread. it's got EVERYTHING- queer coded courtney, queer coded amanda, amanda having palpable tension w spencer, spencer misogyny but for haha hehe, and the return of reuben?? WHAT MORE COULD A GIRL WANT??

even the recent sponsored dread- that was so silly goofy- arasha lalani in ttrpgs is so fun, fresh, innovative, and sexy. arasha pretending she knows what afk is? iconic, showstopping, genius, brilliant, life-changing. trevor being a brooding leader despite being the silliest goose in the pond? an awe- inspiring choice. trevarts from hezekiah's beautiful ur mind is sooooo vast i wanna know how it works.

idh anything smart or retrospective to say other than dread was such a good and fun series that filled a void for me. and i also enjoyed george's smosh mouth episode! glad to know he cared ab sword af, too!

i do agree w you though that i'd love to see more gms on dread other than george, but i do really like him! i'd actually love to see aabria iyengar on it! ik she did something w smosh during the pandemic but she's such a delight and i'm genuinely so fatigued by smosh's videos lineups lately being SO man-heavy because i think arasha and angela should be in EVERY video. any time it's all boys, it de-yassifies trevor and i hate it. but anyways, yes, aabria. smosh is also in DESPERATE need for more than one woman of color in a room at a time. (unrelated: idk why no one wants this as much as i do or at least no one's talked about it- i know that she's white but elyse willems and angela NEED to do a video together. i NEED it. elyse is delightful, even tho she's white lmao im kidding i love white ppl 💖😬🤭)

whoever on smosh games pitched dread deserves to get their ass ate. not by me but by someone who'll do it.

hello again!! happy to hear from you 🤗 i'm really glad you're liking dread and decided to give it a shot! smosh vs zombies was super duper fun, but i think aliens could've been longer and they could've explored the world more. i think three eps is a good length for dread. i haven't watched the sponsored dread all the way through because i haven't had time and i kept missing details and rewinding it. but i hope to finish it soon!

love george!!! he's hella fun as a dm and is a wonderful story teller. and yes, it was nice to know he was involved and supportive of saf! AABRIA WOULD BE WONDERFUL (you also just gave me new info to update my agcu with LOL because i didn't know she'd been on smosh before)!

i don't know much about elyse and james willems besides what they've done on smosh, but i'm manifesting elyse and angela for you 🫶🫶🫶