#AND. i think it's really fun that cara's is the only piece where she's possibly alone with nobody even offscreen (like in eloise's piece)..

[cassidyamber]

looking at the imitation art and seeing how many versions of characters are depicted in each.

two versions of the same character: damon, eva, toshiko, ulysses, mark, diana, wolfgang, jett, cassidy

one named character, other faceless characters depicted: desmond, ingrid

one named character, other characters implied but not depicted: eloise (she looks like she's being chased by someone or something offscreen)

more than two versions of the same character: wenona, kai, grace, jean

alone(?): cara

[honeysidesarchived]

WHERE THERE IS NO TEMPTATION, THERE IS NO GLORY.

⊱ a santino d'antonio / oc short-fic

interlude ii ( read on ao3 ) ( masterlist )

words: 2.4k

warnings: none really! just an impending, pervasive sense of doom.

rating: m/t

notes: so happy to have finally gotten this little interlude edited and pieced together! just more soft moments because they deserve it considering what's going to be coming up. thank you everyone who has been reading/interacting with this little love project of mine; it took a minute to get myself dug out of the trenches and posting bite-sized chapters because this is a short-fic is definitely doing something to me (lmao) but we're here!

as always you can find translations on ao3, where it's easier to store them in a place that doesn't get in the way.

There is very little time between when Santino cooks her dinner and when he moves her into his apartment. It happens without much acknowledgment from her; she finds herself swallowed up in moments of casual intimacy that break her down to nothing except a girl in love.

Santino wakes her up by kissing her neck and pulling her against his chest; she makes him dinner barefoot in the kitchen, all of the recipes that her mother taught her, and he drags his hand along her hip to reach over her into the cupboard; he stands still and obedient while Euphemia slides his tie into place, and when he zips her dress for her, he peppers her shoulder with kisses. He tolerates taking a walk through the park, even in the chilliness of late Fall or Winter, because Euphie can’t stand to not get some fresh air once a day. When one of her friends asks why he lets her bully him into the cold weather, he wraps his arms around Euphie with a sly smile and says, “How could I not, when I am the one who gets to warm her up after?”

He is an exceptionally tactile man. There is always a reason for him to touch her, trace each line of her, put his lips against her skin. Santi isn’t a man who loves; he covets. And Euphemia shouldn’t like it as much as she does, but she does. Her therapist says that it isn’t uncommon for a girl who grows up without touching to crave it, desperately, like an addiction.

So, she finds herself living in his loft to feed that addiction—which becomes their loft—and teaching him words in French, and feeding him olives while sauce simmers (and does not boil), and kissing the red-wine taste from his lips. It’s all very romantic and greatly overshadows the moments where Santino comes home raging mad, or when his bad mood takes over their conversation and stirs a fight between them. They’re both hot-headed—her more so than he—and he knows all of the ways to diffuse her while she knows none about him.

But it doesn’t matter, in the end; because Santino always kisses her, and always says, Mi dispiace, cara mi, ti amo, ti amo, ti amo, lip-locking between each break in words until her lungs ache.

Euphie has never wanted to be loved sensibly, anyway.

Making money stops becoming an issue. Santino might have been fine letting her wrap up her loose ends, so to speak, encourages her, even—“You should never leave business undone, my Euphie,”—but he’d never tolerate her continuing to skim out of the pockets of his associates. Not out of respect for them, of course, but because Santino is more than happy to provide.

“I have to do something,” Euphie insists, often. But Santino clicks his tongue and shakes his head, inspiring indignation in her. “That money goes to my mother, Santi.”

“Princesa, what are you worrying for?” He replies every time. In this instance, he is reading over some documents, his voice casual, simple, effective at bringing her to heel. “If your mama needs money, she’ll get it. Tutto quello che vuoi è tuo.”

Euphemia used to think that he was doing it to be generous, but as time goes on, she knows that isn’t the case. If Santino didn’t think he was benefitting from sending her mother money every month, he wouldn’t do it: but he does. Euphemia stops playing at arm candy for other powerful men; he endears himself to her by taking care of her mother; he endears himself to her mother; he’s afforded a sense of control. There is no facet of it where he isn’t getting something out of it. And she thinks, too, that maybe Santino likes it like this, where she is completely reliant on him for everything.

She doesn’t mind so much.

She would, if Santino didn’t drench her in his longing, if he didn’t make her feel, every day, that he is desperate to treasure her. She has always heard about this kind of love—and it is love—and never thought she would have it for herself.

But she does now, and she doesn’t want to let it go.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Tea or coffee, mama?”

Santino is busying himself in the kitchen. They’ve been together for a little over a year now, and they’re on a tour of Italy—not for fun, necessarily, but for integration. They have just spent the last week with Santino’s father and sister, and now they will spend the next two days in the Tuscan countryside with her mother.

Two days for her mother, instead of the week that they gave Santino’s father and sister, in part because his father deserves more time and in part because Euphemia doesn’t think she can tolerate her mother in much more than two-day increments.

“Coffee, please,” her mother says, very charmed by Santino.

“Tea,” Euphemia interjects. She looks at her mother—her face is tired, and older than she really is. Euphie knows that this is a side effect of heavy, abusive drinking and years spent in emotional terror, not the passage of time. Still, she finds it hard to drum up anything except distant pity in her heart. “You don’t need the caffeine.”

“Oh, you always ruin my fun.”

Santino re-enters the room with a small cup—it’s an espresso cup, but he’s poured it with regular coffee.

“A compromise,” Santi explains, handing the cup to her mother, smiling handsomely. “To make both of my girls happy.”

Her mother preens, glows under the affection. “You are so sweet, Santi. A perfect son-in-law.”

He has always called her and her mother his girls. His own mother had passed since before Euphemia; and while he knows that Euphie’s relationship with her mother is strained at best, he does what he can to ease it. Because it makes her happy, he says, and if she’s happy, he’s happy.

“Not yet a son-in-law,” Euphie corrects, and Santino flashes her a quick, amused little smile.

“You see how cruel she is to me, madonna? I have asked her to marry me, you know.”

“Santi,” Euphemia sighs, but it has had its desired effect; her mother looks scandalized, mortified at her daughter’s resistance to marrying a man as good and handsome and charming as Santino.

“Effie, tell me that you haven’t been bullying Santino like this?”

“Mama, there is no reason—he is just teasing. Ascoltami, you don’t need to look so horrified.”

“I do not know where I went wrong with you, Euphemia Sancia.” Her mother clicks her tongue, muttering something under her breath and taking a drink of the coffee Santi made her, and Euphemia can’t bring herself to say that not everything she has done wrong in her life is a slight against her mother’s parenting skills.

Santino smiles and leans across to Euphie, bringing her hand up to kiss it.

“Don’t worry,” he says to her mother, his voice blooming with practiced warmth. “I will ask her as many times as it takes for her to say yes.”

Euphemia feels her heart stutter painfully in her chest. She knows that he means it; he’s suggested it to her three times, now. It seems to be the only thing he doesn’t mind asking more than once.

“She’s always been fussy, my Euphemia,” her mother says, breaking the magic of Santino’s eyes on her. “Never happy with what she has, just like her father. Except for you, Santi—you are the only thing she holds onto.”

Exasperation and disgust flood over her. Both the mention of the man considered to be her father and any similarities they might share has her mood souring. “Mama—”

But Santino is sweeping in, like he always does when he can tell Euphie is getting tired of her mother, coming to a stand and asking her, “We should get started on dinner, cara mia, don’t you think?”

Just like that, he’s taken control of the conversation again. He sees her flailing and steadies her. Euphemia is certain that he doesn’t love her mother—that he doesn’t even like her—but that he can spend his time tolerating her with charm and grace despite knowing what her mother allowed to go on under their roof is indicative of the man that Santino is.

“Yes,” she replies, standing as well. “You look tired, mama. Take a rest while Santi and I make dinner.”

She wanders into the kitchen with Santino trailing after her. As soon as they’re alone, he winds his arms around her waist and kisses the juncture between her shoulder and neck.

“Is it true?” he asks coyly. “That you don’t hold on to anything except for me?”

She doesn’t want to tell him very much, because he knows already, and because to say it out loud will give it legs. A year together, and she still doesn’t want her feelings for him to have legs. Santino splays his fingers against her sternum and kisses her jaw.

“You know that it is,” she says at last, her voice a little unsteady. She can feel Santi smiling against her skin.

“Euphie,” he purrs, “marry me.”

Yes, she wants to say, as her eyes flutter shut. Yes, I’ll marry you, Santi. Anything that you ask. I’ll do anything for you, if you would just keep saying my name like that.

She wants to say it but the words won't come out. There is nothing quite like the feeling of Santino peeling back each individual layer of her defenses, piece by piece; so close, she knows, he is so close, but not quite. Not yet. She is most comfortable keeping him at arm’s length as much as possible—to kiss and to fuck and to let someone hold you at night is one thing. To let someone in past the barbed-wire of defenses is yet another, impossibly reckless. To be seen feeling anything deranges you, as the poets like to say.

“Sancia, hm?” he continues instead, when she can’t bring herself to answer, as the words stick in her throat. It’s one of those things where Santino seems to exercise a surprising amount of patience, this whole ordeal of to marry or not to marry; later, Euphemia will come to understand that it is because Santino believes their life together to be inevitable, that she will always say yes to him, one way or another.

For now, she turns in his arms, cocking a brow at him. He continues, “It means sacred.”

Euphemia nods sagely and props herself up on the counter. “Buon ascolto, my love. I suppose that means you should work very hard to worship me well.”

Santino laughs. He leans in, trapping her against the counter—though it isn’t much of a trap if she’s a willing participant—and noses the slope of her jaw.

“Yes,” he murmurs, “I suppose that it does.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━

On the last leg of their tour of families, Santino insists that they spend a few days in Rome by themselves.

The days are used mostly for doing a lot of nothing; neither of them are particularly interested in sight-seeing, but rather interested in seeing each other, a thing which they don’t seem to tire of particularly quickly. Instead, they shop, or lay in bed together until the afternoon, or go out to eat when street lights kick on and the city takes on a life of its own.

“You are much happier, Euphie,” Santino says one evening, smoothing out his napkin on the table absently, “when you are not around your mother.”

It’s not a question, per se, though she knows that he expects an answer. But she is still young and a little petulant, and she likes to push his buttons and make him say exactly what it is he means, so she takes a sip of her wine and replies, “Yes.”

He arches a brow at her. He looks particularly handsome like this, she thinks—not around his family, just eating dinner in a streetside restaurant in Rome, illuminated in warm candlelight and the glow of the streetlights outside.

“Are you going to tell me why?” he asks, amusedly.

“If you ask.” Euphemia sets her wine glass down on the table, and when Santino reaches for her hand, she lets him take it, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “But it is so boring, Santi, to talk about my mother. Why don’t you ask me about something else?”

The brunette’s mouth is curving in a little smile. “Like…?”

“Like…” Euphie gestures with her free hand, like she has to really think about it. “Euphie, how did I get so lucky to have a woman like you? That is a good place to start. Or, what will you do with me once you get me back to the hotel? Or, Euphie, will I ever be so fortunate as to call you my wife?”

Santino laughs, leaning into their conversation, bringing her fingers up to kiss them. He has long lashes; soft, and dark, and they brush the tops of his cheekbones when his eyes close. Santino glances from her fingers up to her, that boyish grin on his face.

“I already know the answers to the first and last question,” he says casually, like it’s no big deal, but he’s grinning wickedly at her when he says it. She scoffs.

“Dimme poi,” Euphie insists. “I am dying to know, Santi.”

His expression is very sage, very wise, and he nods his head. “Il destino,” he says, winding their fingers together, “e tra un anno.”

There is something very heart-stopping about the way Santino articulates il destino, as though it is fact, as though there is something undeniable about their coming together.

“How do you know?” she asks. “In a year?”

“Because if you do not want to marry me by then,” Santino replies matter-of-factly, “then I am certainly not suited for marriage at all.”

She rolls her eyes, taking a drink of her wine and savoring the way his eyes trail over her, admiring, drinking her in.

“Well?” he prompts. She looks at him expectantly, and he reiterates, his gaze set on her, “What will you do with me once you get me back to the hotel, belladonna?”

Euphemia feels her heart stutter painfully in her chest when he looks at her like that; like she is the only person in the entire universe, like she has become the sun that snags him in her planetary pull, like he will never, ever grow tired of looking at her. It sweeps the breath out of her.

“Anything, mio amato,” she murmurs. “Anything you want, if you promise to never stop looking at me like that.”

[bisluthq]

Kaylor Rises?

We’ll never know the mechanics or reasons for Joshlie going on a break (or even if they just decided to be more casual for a bit). Maybe it was Taylor related, maybe it was all the stuff with his family, maybe it was the spectre of differing religions, maybe it was the age gap, maybe he started to agree that a ‘lingerie model’ was unsuitable in the long run… But one fact we do know, from investigative journalism done on the Kushners and also from looking at contemporaneous gossip blogs is: Joshlie have taken breaks. We don’t know exactly exactly how many, or why. But we know that they did. Again, this is one of the biggest pieces of ‘evidence’ that they’re real because why bother faking problems and breaks? Why not present yourselves as head-over-heels? It doesn’t make sense, but it’s what happened. And it also opens the door to some romantic!Kaylor. And in March 2014, Josh disappears from the picture and Taylor is suddenly a massive presence - way beyond the fun, highkey promotion we saw up till now. 

1 March 2014 - We see Kaylor both attend a Pre-Oscar Party. I think a Joshlie break was what led Karlie to go to LA and stay with Taylor. At this stage, they’d known each other publicly for about five months but, if we factor in possible negotiations, they might have known each other for much longer. I really do think they were good friends by this stage, because Taylor is a terrible actress and they clearly really enjoyed each other’s company. It was as good a place as any for Karlie to go and lick wounds. 

2 March 2014 - Kaylor attend the Vanity Fair Oscar Party and the Vogue profile talks about this being where they connected and decided to do the road trip: “A few months later they saw each other again at an Oscars after-party, and Kloss suggested they do something spontaneous. “I’d been to Big Sur once before, and I was like, ‘We should just do it,’ ” says Swift.” I suspect this story is a bit of a lie - but I do think it is true that they hooked up around this time, and decided to take a road trip to Big Sur. Taylor had been there once before, with Jake Gyllenhaal. Karlie had never been. It’s interesting that for Taylor it was already a “romantic” place, at the very least publicly, and it’s where she decided to go with Karlie at this point. 

Also, in terms of the “lie” factor - they’re saying this is where they reconnected but they were partying together the literal night before. So they’re obviously blurring reality a bit in the interview. Which is okay, maybe they misremembered or misspoke. But when factored into a pattern, it seems an odd thing to get confused about. 

The road trip itself is ICONIC. Taylor allegedly plays Karlie the whole of 1989. They take a million gorgeous photos. The daisy thing happens. 

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the ‘Karlie loves Taylor’ sand pic. Taylor likes.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the ‘best road trip ever’ daisy pic.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the ‘adventure of a lifetime with my girl’ cheek kiss selfie.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts a pic of her and Taylor with the caption, ‘woah, what a view huh?’

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the pic of her hugging Taylor from behind.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts a picture of herself apparently taken by Taylor.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts a picture of her and Taylor jumping with the caption ‘❤️’

5 March 2014 - Taylor posts a picture of them and captions it ‘On the Way Home’ - possibly a reference to YAIL. 

When they return, things still seem very, very good in Kaylor Land.

12 March 2014 - Karlie attends the Art Production Fund’s White Glove Gala without Josh.

24 March 2014 - Taylor diaries that she’s moved into her Tribeca apartment in the “last few weeks” which means they are in the same city and that, when Karlie was in LA, Tay was still permanently based there. 

1 April 2014 - Karlie attends The New Museum annual Spring Gala without Josh.

1 April 2014 - Josh attends a New York Observer event without Karlie. His family is out in full force - again, this is their family business. It’s actually really odd that he is there on his own. Oh, and by the way - Mikey Hess isn’t there either lmao. 

3 April 2014 - Kaylor go to the gym and then out for lunch at the Butcher’s Daughter (which, for the record, is very close to Josh’s apartment but since he and Karlie have not interacted publicly in well over a month that seems irrelevant). They are papped continuously on both halves of the date. 

14 April 2014 - Kaylor are papped in NYC.

21 April 2014 - Taylor is papped with Cara and the articles that follow are all about “gal pals”. I do not think Cara and Taylor were together at this point but it’s vital to see the rollout of the “Girl Squad” PR strategy. It was not just about Karlie. Karlie was meant to be the ‘main’ Squad girl, but there were others.

26 April 2014 - Kaylor are papped in NYC

2 May 2014 - Karlie brings Derek as her +1 to the memorial service for L’Wren Scott.

4 May 2014 - Karlie posts a photo of herself with Taylor and Kate Bosworth at The Jane Hotel for Harry Josh’s party.

5 May 2014 - Kaylor get ready together and then attend the Met together. Josh is also there with his brother and Ivanka. Kaylor interact with the Kushners because this photo gets taken. We also get this pic (peep Tay’s dress in the background). Karlie sits at a table with Josh, and Taylor sits very, very far away. (Here is a pic of them seated). Now, it’s possible the tickets were booked and the seating arrangements made well before Joshlie went on a break. Or it’s possible going there was just a stunt and Karlie and Josh were very much together.

If Josh was a beard contract, this would’ve been reversed. Karlie would have showed up and walked the red carpet with Josh and sat with Taylor once inside. Instead, Karlie was papped with Taylor on the outside, and sat in the cheap seats with Josh, on the other side of the room from Taylor, once inside. If Josh and Karlie both needed a beard, why would they allow Karlie to show up and walk the red carpet with her girlfriend when they both attended the event?

And here’s what’s interesting: Taylor references this evening extensively at the end of the Wildest Dreams MV. She closely replicates the outfits - Karlie’s, Josh’s and her own - and casts herself as the “other woman”. It’s a telling video because that twist in the end is not necessary for the song to make sense (at all), Tay’s character is hurt and surprised by the MV love interest having a partner, and in the end the love interest’s feelings seem genuine as he runs after her - but she’s already gone. It’s a pretty loud scene in all and I’m not sure how else to interpret it, really. It’s also interesting that Tay’s character in the video falls in love with her ‘onscreen’ partner - kind of how Kaylor probably started as somewhat scripted ‘Famous Friends’ but possibly grew feelings.

Taylor also references this evening in LWYMMD when a 2014 Met Taylor appears several times. A zombie Taylor wearing the dress she wore in the OOTW MV buries a Taylor wearing this 2014 Met Gala dress and later she appears again. Considering all the other “Taylors” are extremely iconic (for example Kanye interrupting dress), I’m not sure why 2014 Met Gala Tay is here. It’s not the best example of one of her princess dresses… It’s not indicative of an ‘era’...

Unless the evening was important to Taylor herself, and the most logical reason for that would be Joshlie. It seems that this was the night that Tay, like her character in the MV, found herself cast in the unfortunate role of “other woman” - a part she would have struggled with ever since. So, with that in mind, here are some photos of Kaylor from that night where Taylor looks miserable: x x x

12 May 2014 - Karlie attends the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night Spring Gala alone.

15 May 2014 - An article with People comes out where Taylor makes getting ready with Karlie sound like a fun pre-prom time, proving the earlier point that them showing up together was part of their PR relationship.

Early May 2014 - Kaylor go for dinner at Toni Garrn’s, further debunking Korlie rumors.

22 May 2014 - Karlie attends amfAR’s 21st Cinema Against AIDS Gala alone.

CONCLUSION: From late February/early March it seemed as though Kaylor were together and possibly exclusive or at least getting somewhat serious. However, in early May Josh and Karlie reconnected around the time of the Met Gala - that’s what the Wildest Dreams MV seems to suggest at least. The fact that they interacted and sat together despite not apparently going ‘together’ is very loud. 

However, Joshlie were not fully back together at this Met Gala stage. I believe they reunited proper only at the end of May, at which point the Kaylor dynamic shifted gears.

However… the contract for the publicity deal was still in place and they had to carry on carrying on. It’s telling that their respective close friends didn’t exactly warm up to one another - their personal friend groups never really meshed. This contradicts the het narrative of them being just extremely great friends. If they really were, why wouldn’t they be hanging out with each other’s main people (in very simple terms, people like Derek and Abigail)? And before you @me, a few likes are not great evidence of hangouts - Josh also liked a bunch of Tay’s posts, and it’s pretty clear they were never friends.

More likely, Karlie and Taylor hooked up… And, of course, Karlie was an important part of this era’s publicity rollout. And that’s where things got messy.

[butwhyduh]

Not Now

Part 1 of 2

College Tom Holland x reader

Warning: fluff in first chapter, angst in next.

Summary: reader is 27 and Tom is still 22. (Don’t freak out. It’ll make sense later.) She’s a teachers assistant and he’s a student. She also has a secret.

You worked in the science department. Student assistant for the anatomy and physiology department. You were working towards your masters in nursing. Being a student assistant was hard work but helped pay for your own classes. Anyone who wanted to go into any form of medical field had to pass A&P and it was known as the hardest medical class outside of medical school. Your job was to help people pass in anyway you could.

The students liked you. You were smart and kind but you had the sneaking suspicion that part of it was because you looked 19 even though you were almost a decade older. A few brave young men had even tried to hit on you.

There was no way that you were going to date some 19 year old. They were generally sweet smart kids but you had a kid. There was no way that they were ready for that.

Then you met Tom. And he wasn’t 19. He was 22. His brown eyes wide with wonder and his lips easily curled into smiles. He understood concepts and would ask smart questions in class. You ignored your little crush. Maybe you were just a bit lonely. But you knew that a 22 year wasn’t ready for kids. Not that you were wanting a replacement father. Your daughters father was a good dad but bad partner. But when Tom asked you out, you had a hard time saying no.

“So do you- you wanna get coffee?” He asked as he helped you put away the models. He was the last student. You looked at him quickly. Luckily he was looking away.

“Yeah, are you going to ask Steve,” you asked him testing the water.

“Mr Harrington? I wasn’t, er... I was hoping to ask you on a date,” he said blushing. His ears were bright and he busied himself with a skeletal model part.

“Oh, uh... yeah that would be great. Did you mean after we clean up?” You asked trying to reach a shelf with a heavy piece. Tom took it from you and placed it on the shelf.

“Yeah if that’s cool,” he said brightly. You mentally thought of child care. You had planned to come back a few hours later because you planned to buy groceries before coming home but you could take her with you instead.

“Sure,” you smiled back. You both began wiping the tables down with disinfectant wipes. He zipped across the lab counters with his wipes.

“Done. Are you ready?” Tom asked. You nodded and grabbed your coat.

“Are you ready for your final?” You asked him as you walked down the sidewalk. His fingers brushed you palm as you walked around a mail box but he was a gentleman and didn’t grab your hand.

“I am. I think I’ve had really great study help from a certain teaching assistant,” he said. You smiled.

“You’re the one learning. I only helped. But I can say that you are possibly, maybe, definitely the best in class,” you said. He grinned brightly.

“Can you even tell me that? Seriously, is that legal?” He asked opening the door to the coffee shop.

“I confirmed nothing and I will lie if asked,” you answered.

“You should have been a lawyer.”

An hour later your coffee was long gone and you both still talked. The conversation was easy and he seemed really nice. But you had to get your daughter.

“I hate to cut things short but I have to go. Life calls,” you told him.

“Oh, okay,” he said. His voice betrayed disappointment. “Can I call you sometime?”

“You already call me.”

“Not for school. Just to talk to you?”

“Sure,” you said. You gave him a quick hug and left to get your daughter. Telling someone that you had a kid on a first date was never a good idea. But waiting a long time wasn’t either. When do you tell someone you had a 6 year old?

“Mom,” Cara said before barreling into your arms. “I did a cartwheel today. Molley-Molley said I couldn’t but I did. And then- then she said a bad word!” She yelped. She twirled around you.

“What did she say?” You asked feigning excitement.

“I’m not saying! It’s a bad word mom,” she said back.

“She was great. Did her homework right away,” Tiffany, the babysitter, said. She was 19 and you were tutoring her in her freshman biology to help pay for her watching Cara after school.

“Good. Thanks. We’ll see you tomorrow okay?” You said grabbing Cara’s coat and giving it to her. Cara slipped it on and grabbed her backpack.

“Of course, bye Cara. I’m going to beat you at tag tomorrow,” Tiffany said smiling.

“Nope, I always win.”

“We’ll see.”

You walked down the hall to your own apartment. Cara helped you make dinner and it wasn’t long until she was asleep in bed. You watched the news and your eyes felt heavy. You phone rang. You looked down at it.

Tom: hey, what’s up?

Tom: I just looked at the time. Sorry. I hope it’s not too late.

Y/n: no. I’m awake. Just watching the news. You?

Tom: playing poker with my roommate. He’s losing badly😂

Y/n: yikes. Go easy on him.

Tom: he’s rich. He’ll be fine.

Tom: how are your classes going?

Y/n: good. Hard. 🙃

Why did I send that emoji? You thought. What does that even mean?

Tom: I feel you. Micro bio is killing me

Y/n: I can help you with that.

Y/n: if you want

Tom: that would be awesome. I can’t really pay you.

Y/n: we can do it during you anatomy tutoring.

Tom: thanks. I didn’t text you for that though.

Y/n: oh?

Tom: no. I like you. You’re super cool.

Tom: and pretty

Did he just- you flushed. Guys weren’t this forward.

Y/n: thanks☺️ you’re not bad looking yourself

Tom: 😎

Tom: so what are you doing tomorrow? Like evening?

Staying home with my daughter- you thought. Let me text Tiffany. You asked her to watch your daughter once again and she quickly responding that it was great.

Y/n: nothing. Do you want to do something?

Tom: Yeah, can I pick you up and get something to eat?

You gave him your address. You both texted for a few minutes before you told him you needed to go to bed. You lay in bed thinking about him. He was attractive and sweet and smart. But something seemed off. Not with him. You felt guilty for talking to him. Maybe it was because you hadn’t told him about your daughter yet? You decided that you would tell him on the date. No need to wait if he hates kids or something.

Your day seemed to go by slowly as you thought about your date. Tom hadn’t given a clear idea of where you were going but you assumed that it would be nice casual with him being a broke college kid. You hurried home and changed into something kinda nice and fixed your hair and makeup.

Soon you heard a soft knock on the door. You hurried to open it to Tom. He stood smiling in nice jeans and a grey polo. His shoes the only color with red sections around the white. You slipped on flats over heels. He might want to walk somewhere.

“So where to?” You asked.

“The dollar theatre,” he smiled. “They are having a twilight zone marathon on tonight. I hope that’s okay,” he said shyly.

“I love that,” you said.

“I thought some hot dogs on the way? I’m kinda broke,” he laughed nervously.

“Same. That sounds fine. I get them sometimes when I’m running late. Do you live on campus?”

“No. It’s a flat near campus. My roommate pays for it. He came over to college with me,” Tom said as you walked.

“The rich roommate?”

“Haha Yeah. He’s pretty wealthy. I was coming to the states for school and he tagged along. He’s taking acting classes so I guess he’s doing something? Probably will just inherit his family’s company,” Tom said paying for the hot dogs.

“So where exactly are you from?”

“London. I just wanted to get away. Travel. New York looked fun. Are you from the city?” He asked.

“Don’t tell anyone, but Jersey,” you said smiling. He laughed. His hand brushed your back as he lightly pulled you out of the way of someone jogging by. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he said before buying tickets. You both sat in the top right corner with a bucket of popcorn. The theatre was pretty empty. Not surprising for a Thursday night twilight zone marathon. The show started and the familiar music played. This was one you hadn’t seen before and it wasn’t long before you had scooted closer to your date. Tom subtly shifted in his seat for you to lean into him better. You could smell his soft cologne. Halfway through the second episode Tom had gently placed his arm around your shoulder and by the fourth episode, you had buried your head in his chest at a scary part. He softly laughed and patted your back.

“It’s okay,” he said softly as it moved to the next scene. You sat close to him as the show played. You yawned at the 7th episode. “Are you ready to go? It’ll be all night.”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” he said. You both stood and quietly left. His hand softly wrapped around yours as you walked. He smiled softly when you didn’t pull away. You both slowly walked back to your apartment. You stood in front of the door with your keys in hand, not quite ready for the date to end. You bit your lip and he looked at you softly. He stepped closer and you could see a small scar on his cheek. His nose was slightly crooked.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked quietly, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah.”

His lips barely pressed against yours. The kiss was soft and gentle, questioning for permission. He broke the kiss faster than you would have liked.

“I’ll see you in class,” he said clearing his throat. “I had a good time.”

“See you,” you whispered.

Okay, so you chickened out of telling him about your daughter. But admittedly it was a quiet date. And to be honest you were scared to run him off. You’d tell him next time.

[thewnchstrs]

Burden

Pairing: DeanXsister!reader, SamXsister!reader, (platonic!!!)

Summary: Drinking and driving never mix.

Disclaimers: car accident, blood

Word Count: 4.7K

M A S T E R L I S T

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I glanced at myself in the mirror, turning around to examine my full body in the pair of jeans I'd just spent nearly all of my money on. They were ripped at the knees, and hugged my legs and butt perfectly. If Dean knew how much I'd spent on them he'd probably take them into a pawn shop to see if flakes of gold were sewn into the fabric.

I nodded at my reflection, "not bad."

I threw a crop top on, one that I'd had for nearly a year now and never had to right occasion to wear it to. And now, I was so glad I hadn't gotten rid of it when I was spring cleaning last year.

I glanced over myself, the shirt exposing a small portion of my midriff, a few of my healed stitches etched into my tanned skin. Before I could change my mind about what I was going to wear, I threw my hair into a ponytail that is supposed to look like it took no effort but in reality I'd spend at least 15 minutes on it.

Just as I was pinning the last piece of hair in place, my phone lit up behind me on my bed.

From: Brodie

Sent at: 9:14pm

can't wait to see you tonight ;)

I smiled down at my screen, nervously biting at the hangnail on my right pointer finger while trying to think up what to say when another text came through.

From: Brodie

Sent at: 9:14pm

be there soon...10 minutes okay?

"Ten minutes?!" I said a little too loud and checked to see if Sam and Dean were eavesdropping, poking my head out of my bedroom door and looking up and down the hallway. When I was sure I was alone I finally texted back.

To: Brodie

Sent at: 9:15pm

sounds good, see you then ;)

I read over the text after I sent it and shook my head at how strange it sounded. "'sounds good, see you then'?" I groaned as I shut the phone off and slipped my shoes on, then came the biggest task of the night.

How to get past Sam and Dean.

Trying to go out on a date like every other normal teenage girl was like trying to escape prison. Practically impossible.

"Just do it, Y/N. Just do it. And if they ask, just be honest. You're old enough to go out on a date with a guy." I pep talked, nodding to myself as I shut my bedroom door behind me, slinging my bag over my shoulder and holding a sweatshirt close to my body.

I peaked around the corner, and when the coast was clear I bolted for the door, lightly yet quickly bounding up the stairs. I made it halfway up when a booming voice called out behind me.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dean asked. I cringed, stopping in my tracks as I slowly turned around on my heel. Dean was standing at the bottom of the stairs, his arms crossed. "It's 9 o'clock, Y/N."

"I'm just...going to the library." I lied through my teeth, the plan to tell the truth totally out the window.

Dean nodded in skepticism, his eyebrows cinched together as he squinted at me. "The library, huh?" I nodded, my hands crossed in front of me as he gave me the stare down. "Dressed like that?"

I looked down at my clothes, "what's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Well for one, you only have on half a shirt-"

"It's a crop top, Dean."

"Oh," he said sarcastically, fake laughing. "I'm sorry, a crop top."

"Look, can I just go? Cara is waiting for me." I said, motioning at the door, slowly taking the stairs one step at a time, trying desperately to get out of there as soon as humanly possible.

"Oh, Cara, huh?" he said as he began his way up the stairs too, nearly feet from me. "On that thought...I haven't met any of your friends have I? Maybe I'll just go out and say hi-" he reached for the handle of the door but I stopped him, throwing myself in front of it.

"No!" I said, blocking the door with my body. When Dean's face contorted into triumph, I realized the game he was playing. I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Fine. You win. I'm not going to the library."

"You don't say?"

"Listen, I just...I just wanted to have some fun tonight. Go out with some friends."

"Friends?"

I bit my lip before letting it all spill out. "Okay, friend. But that's all I'm giving you! I need to go, now." As I turned to leave through the front door, Dean stopped me.

"No, Y/N. You're not going- I don't even know this kid!" he said, his voice level rising.

"Dean I'm almost an adult! I've finally found someone who makes me truly happy, and I'm not going to let you stand between that!" I ran past Dean through the front door and outside where Brodie's car was waiting. I quickly opened the passenger side as Brodie skidded away from the Bunker, Dean's fading form quickly disappearing in the rear view mirror.

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"Did you find it okay?" I asked once we were far enough away from the bunker. After a few seconds of no answer, I looked over to the driver's seat where Brodie was bobbing his head between the phone in his hand and the road. His right thumb flying over the touch screen. "Hello?"

"Oh- yeah, that sounds good. Sure." he said mindlessly. I shook my head, refraining from giving him the speech on texting and driving. I did not want to be the dead-beat date.

The rest of the ride was silent except for the occasional laugh from Brodie as he read the text that was sent to him. The ten minute drive to wherever we were going felt like an eternity.

Was he always like this?

I'd always seen Brodie as this caring, funny, charismatic guy. At least, that's how he acted at school.

Knowing I couldn't sit in silence any longer, I tried starting up a conversation once he'd finally locked his phone and threw it into the cup holder between us, "So, where are we going?"

I was hoping for somewhere romantic, and, if anything, fun enough that we could laugh and get to know each other a little better. Brodie thought for a moment as he checked the street signs before turning into a neighborhood.

"You know Ryan Sanders, don't you?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

I thought about it, "I think I've seen him around school...why?"

"Well, every year he throws a wicked party every time his parents go out of town for their anniversary in Jamaica. Everybody's going." he explained giddily. Not exactly my ideal first date, but I guess it could work. It didn't exactly hurt me any that I was going to show up to the biggest party of the year with Brodie.

I was beginning to wonder how big this neighborhood was when a line of cars came into view, going all along the sides of the street that lead up to the biggest house I'd ever seen. People littered the front lawn, red plastic cups and people were clearly visible through the tall windows. The place was packed.

"You ready?" Brodie asked, turning to me excitedly. I didn't have time to respond as he jumped out of the car and ran up to the house, fist bumping three other guys who stood in a circle, red cups in hand.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket as it rang and vibrated nonstop.

12 missed calls and 8 voicemails from: Dean-o

7 unopened texts from: Sammy

I rolled my eyes, shutting down my phone, but not before making sure to turn off the tracker Sam and Dean don't know that I know about, and slid it back into my pocket.

"Well, here goes nothing."

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The inside of the house couldn't have been more stereotypical to that of the houses you seen in the movies where the most popular kid in school throws a party. People danced around in every corner of the room, all of them with some kind of drink in their hands. I made my way through the sweaty crowd until I made it to the kitchen where I was instantly handed a beer.

"Oh no thank you-" I said, trying to hand it back but the person who gave it to me was long gone by now, lost in the sea of dancers. I looked down at it, swirling the liquid around in the cup.. It wasn't as if I had never drank before. I'm a Winchester. We start drinking before we can walk, but I knew that drinking wasn't exactly the best thing to do if you haven't eaten all day, I learned that the hard way.

I was startled back to reality when a voice from across the kitchen called to me above the loud music. The sudden call nearly made me jump out of my skin. I scanned the room to find the source of the voice until I saw Hannah, a friend I'd made in my Latin class. She jumped around excitedly, waving her arms as she made her way toward me.

"Hey bestie!" she laughed, throwing an arm around me. The scent of alcohol rolled off her tongue in waves. "Woah..you look hot!"

"And you look wasted." I said, removing her arm from around me. "How much have you had to drink?"

Hannah thought about it before answering, "'Bout six."

I waited for her to continue and when she only stared blankly at me I shook my head, "Six what? Six beers, six shots?"

"Oh who cares, Y/N! I'm having SO much fun!" she slurred and then took the beer from my hand, taking a long drink from it before handing it back to me, “Here! drink up!"

I tried to deny the drink but before I could she fed it to me like a baby. I let the warm liquid slide down my throat and warm my insides, the familiar high of the alcohol settling into my body was too hard to resist.

The rest had been a blur

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Brodie clumsily searched through the large house, stumbling over passed out people on the carpet to the only place in the house he hadn't checked. And, sure enough, Y/N was sitting on one of the lawn chairs by the pool around five or six other people.

He couldn't tell what they were saying, he really couldn't decipher anything at this point, but as he drew closer he could hear what they were all so intensely leaning into Y/N for.

"And then-" Y/N burst out laughing, a half empty beer bottle in one hand. "and then Dean ran out of the warehouse- he was terrified of a stupid cat!"

The crowd sitting around her burst with laughter as they fell over each other, sloshing beer onto their clothes in a drunken stupor. Brodie stumbled toward them, trying to seem as sober as possible as he poked Y/N in the back.

"We have to leave- my parents think I'm at Bible study...or something." he said, thinking about it.

"But Brodie," Y/N said, clinging to his arm and giggled. "I'm having s-so much fun."

"If you want to walk home from here, be my guest." he said as he tried to spin expertly on his heel but nearly fell into the pool. He heard Y/N sigh behind him.

"Well, ladies and gents. It's been fun." she said as she unsteadily stood from the lawn chair and bowed at her group of admirers, still holding her beer in her hand.

"You have to leave so soon?" one guy said from his seat on the ground. He looked at his watch, trying to make out the time before giving up. "It's not even that late."

Y/N nodded her head as if to agree with him and took the last swing from her beer before throwing the cup into the bushes behind her. "My chariot awaits."

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"You're really hot, you know that?" Y/N said from the passenger side of Brodie's car, her head lolling from one side to the other. "Like...David Beckham hot."

Brodie himself was too drunk to even comprehend what she was saying and only nodded. "You know why I invited you to the party with me?" he asked suddenly.

Y/N could have cared less but she pretended like she was interested anyway. She twisted her hair around her finger and tried not to focus too hard on the blurred lights of the traffic lights that hurt her eyes.

"Because everyone was saying how you slept with David. And he said it too. And he told Brian to tell me that David said you wanted to get with me too." he said, shaking his head.

"It's not true," Y/N slurred, shaking her head too even though her head seemed to weigh a ton, making it sloppily fall from side to side, but she wasn't mad. "none of that is true."

Brodie didn't say anything either from the alcohol coursing through his blood stream or he was processing the information so intently he didn't have anything to say until finally he thought of something that may be of some comfort. He looked across the car sympathetically. "I'm sorry I believed that about you. I should have never-"

Brodie wasn't able to finish his sentence because by then, the car was already skidding across the road. The crunch of metal against concrete filled the streets as cars stopped to avoid being hit, watching the car fly down the road and finally stopped, wheels in the air.

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Dean's POV

I paced the length of the kitchen, walking back and forth back and forth back and forth. Why wasn't she answering my calls, or Sam's texts.

"Dean, you're going to put a hole in the floor." Sam said, only half serious. He was in front of his laptop trying to trace Y/N's phone to wherever she may be.

"I'm worried Sam...she's been gone almost five hours and we can't find anything." I ran a hand through my hair, the pain in my chest tightened not knowing where she could be.

"Look, I'll call the tracking company, see if they can find out where she's at." he said, already dialing the number on his phone. I nodded absently, hoping, praying that they could help. We sat in silence for a minute before Sam began talking to someone on the other end.

"I'm trying to track down my sister's phone, she lost it and we can't figure where she may have left it," he lied, trying to get to the bottom of this and fast. He went through the whole shebang, giving them her phone number, the tracking number, his name, all in order to find out where she could have run off too.

Three hours ago when I realized she wasn't going to call or text either of us back, my first instinct was to pray to Cas. He was always good at that stuff. Then, I realized, he'd been MIA the past month somewhere off with Kelly and Lucifer’s demon baby. I prayed to everyone and everything I could think of. No one seemed to have their ears on.

"She what?" Sam said suddenly and pulled me out of my trance as he frantically searched for a pen and paper and wrote something down. "Okay...okay thank you."

He threw the phone onto the table and ran toward the front door, throwing the Impala's keys at me.

"Sam just wait a minute- what's going on?" I asked, grabbing Sam's arm to stop him. He turned to face me, his face ghost white.

"The tracker says she's on some road-"

"A road?"

"Yes- the same road a kid crashed his car at five minutes ago."

Realization settled itself into the pit of my stomach as we ran up the stairs and pulled out of the driveway of the bunker and toward our sister.

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We'd known we'd made it when in the distance, red, white and blue lights flashed in against the dark night. Media vans had already made their way to the front as a woman reported on the accident. I pulled up behind the caution tape, running to the officers, not even caring to turn the car off as I did.

"Dean, wait!" Sam called after me but all I could think about was getting to her. Making sure she was okay.

As I came up to the car accident, two cops stopped me, holding their hands out in front of my chest. "Sir, you're going to have to stay back."

"No...no that's my sister in there- that's my sister!" I shouted, struggling against their arms holding me back, not taking my eyes off of the car that was swarmed with paramedics and firefighters.

"I'm sorry, sir but we can't let you in beyond this point, now I suggest you let us do our job and you can be on your way to the hospital with her do you understand?" the cop said in a calm voice in an attempt to calm me. Sam came jogging up next to me as they talked.

"What happened, can you at least tell us that-" Sam started when the cop interrupted with the details.

"Your sister was in the car with another young boy, around 18 years of age, who was heavily intoxicated. They both were. We think they were coming back from a party." he said, glancing back at the car. "The boy didn't make it."

My heart sank and I could feel Sam tense next to me. If he didn't make it, what were the chances Y/N would? I wanted to ask, but just as I was about to, chaos broke out at the car, just a few yards away. One firefighter ran back to the firetruck to retrieve what looked like a large power tool. From where I stood, I could see them place it between the crack of the passenger side door as they pried it open.

The next five minutes felt like an eternity as we watched to see if they would pull Y/N out alive or not. I don't think either of us breathed, we didn't even blink in fear we'd miss something. Then, all of a sudden, the door was thrown to the side and a gurney was brought around and lowered to the ground.

They were talking to somebody inside the car. Another three minutes until I nearly jumped over the caution tape when they pulled her from the car through shards of glass and debris, two men carefully set her limp body on the gurney.

"Y/N," Sam and I breathed out as we ran under the caution tape and to our sister who was nearly unrecognizable under her bloody face.

"Oh god, Y/N." Sam whimpered, gripping her hand.

"You can't be here!" one of the paramedics yelled at us before a cop shushed him, letting him know we were family. The paramedic controlled his temper, "Only one of you can ride with her to the hospital."

Sam turned to me, giving me a look that said I should be the one to go with her. "I'll follow, bring the car."

He patted down Y/N's hair once more before he was escorted away and back to the car. I returned my attention to her, holding back tears as she looked around, frightened.

"It's okay, it's all going to be okay." I said, nodding, not sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. She didn't say anything, just shook under the fleece blanket that was laid on top of her.

They rolled her into the back of the ambulance and within minutes we were on the way to the hospital. I never let go of her hand in fear that she'd slip through my fingers like she almost had.

The back of the ambulance was frantic. Two paramedics began treating her- one put fluids in her arm in an attempt to get the alcohol out of her bloodstream, the other put a breathing mask over her face that was sticky with blood.

I pushed the hair away from her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry I let this happen to you."

She didn't reply, like she wasn't physically able to. And then, she said something that made me think it wasn't because she couldn't speak, but because she was concerned with something else.

"Dean," she whispered. I leaned in close, trying to hear her the best I could. Her breathing was labored, blood splattering the inside of the mask around her mouth as she spoke, "I can't feel my legs."

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We sat silently as Sam and I watched her sleep, not taking our eyes off of the erratic rise and fall of her chest. She looked much more human now. She was cleaned up, fresh scars littered her face, neck, arms, and chest. Her left eye was bruised and she'd broken her collar bone.

However, it was nothing we couldn't deal with. Yes, broken bones and scratches were all things we've seen more than once. But the one thing we didn't know how to process was the severe damage to her spinal cord.

The doctor said he was shocked she was still alive, not many would have made it through. Including the kid she went to the party with. In the place of her life, the damage to her lower spinal cord was severe enough that she most likely would never walk again.

I watched my baby sister sleep. How could this happen to her? Out of everybody in the entire world, the last person I’d expect for this to happen to was her. She far too young and had gone through far too many things for her legs to be taken away from her, too.

I knew Sam would be a mess. He couldn't bare the thought of his sister never being able to use her legs again, couldn't bare to watch her struggle through life because of one stupid mistake a drunk kid made that got her into this position. He wanted to bring him back to life just so he could show him what he did, and then kill him again for it.

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Y/N’s POV

I stirred awake, a slight beeping sound next to my ear made me want to rip the thing out of the wall. As I opened my eyes, I shielded them from the sunlight with my hand, glancing around the room at Sam and Dean who were slumped in their chairs, watching TV.

The second I hardly shifted in my bed, they were next to me. Their worried faces close to mine as they asked how I was feeling.

"I'm okay...I'm sore." I said as I flexed my fingers and tried flexing my toes, and after numerous attempts, the overwhelming feeling of panic rose into my throat, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I began to feel for my legs. "I...I can't feel them-my...I can't feel my legs."

"Hey, hey..it's okay." Sam reassured, holding onto my hands. "We'll tell you everything, but you need to calm down."

I swallowed roughly, hot tears falling down my cheeks as I subconsciously continued to move my lower half of my body with no success. Dean breathed deeply through his nose before finally being able to look me in the eyes. God, he looked so old. So worn. He looked like the last few hours had put him through Hell.

He opened and closed his mouth, thinking about what he was going to say before he said it. "You...you were in a car accident last night. With Brodie."

I clenched my jaw, thinking about what I'd remembered from the night before. I definitely remembered Brodie being on his phone the whole way there and how I was force fed a drink, but everything after that was a complete blur.

Sam continued the story, "The car flipped. Brodie's alcohol levels were through the roof. He died on impact, Y/N. When the car crashed- you got the brunt of it. It...it damaged your spinal cord. The impact, there was- there was nothing they could do.."

My mind checked out after that. The words replaying in my head, "Damaged your spinal cord". My worst fears were coming true and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry, and I did. I screamed and shook and pulled at my hair because this was not supposed to happen- not to me. Not to a hunter.

"Breathe, Y/N, you need to breathe," Sam said, trying to soothe my cries of anguish while trying to contain his own. But I couldn't stop- I wouldn't stop until a nurse came in and gave me a sedative that sent me back into unconsciousness.

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"Do you need anything?" Dean asked for what felt like the 50th time that day, poking his head into my room. I sat up straighter in my bed. The doctor said I was supposed to be on bed rest for a few weeks before I could be allowed to start physical therapy. Something that, after only two days of being cooped up in the house, I'm definitely ready for.

"I'm okay, thank you though." I said as I reached for the bottle of water on my nightstand, stretching my arm as far as it could but to no use. Within seconds, Dean sprung deeper into the room, handing me the bottle.

"Thanks," I said, sheepishly. Lose my legs and suddenly I can't do anything for myself. "I'm pretty damn useless, aren't I?"

Dean stopped in his tracks as his eyebrows cinched together, "Why in the world would you say that?"

He sat down on the bed, watching me worriedly. I shook my head and laughed to myself as I picked at the label, "I can't walk, Dean. I can't hunt, I can't run...I can't even move my damn toes." I bit the inside of my lip to keep myself from crying. "I'm useless...a burden"

"Hey, stop that." Dean warned, making me look up at him from my hands in my lap. He watched me sadly, but I could tell that somewhere in him he believed I could get better. "You are not useless, and you're definitely not a burden, Y/N. This is just...just a really, really big hurtle we can jump over. I know we can. Don't you ever think you're a burden to Sam and I. You couldn't be farther from the truth."

I breathed deeply through my nose, nodding as tears brimmed my eyes. We would get through this, and we would come out stronger on the other side. Just like we always do.

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Forever Tag List

@spnbaby-67 | @octo-cow52 | @wholelottajackles | @anti-social-club | @search-bar | @winchesternco | @luciferslucille | @mellorine-paprika | @thepocketshoelace | @jaremish | @the-salty-asian | @chelsea072498 | @the-hufflepuff-hunter | @robynannemackenzie-blog | @mersuperwholocked-lowlife | @lilreethi | @find-sammys-shoe

Winchester Sister Tag List

@resanoona | @mccartneywinchester | @bunnyandy12 | @prancingdestiel | @0livia-hope

[jjbaconsumedmysoul]

Giorno x Reader

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4...

It seemed so clear to you now. Those feelings of confusion and dread were (mostly) behind you. You often thought about that weekend you spent with the leaders of one of the most feared mafia factions in Italy. Feared by other mafia factions, that is. Loved by the people. As you walked the streets to your classes, you began to notice Giorno’s allies more and more. Trish and Fugo were certainly the most active in the community. You occasionally saw them working with others to hand out blankets or hot meals to people living on the streets. You sometimes wondered just how much those affiliated with the gang knew. Were they aware of these things called stands? Did they all have powers of their own, powers like yours?

You had been struck speechless when you found out. At first you denied it, dismissed these ideas as insane. But when Giorno pulled the fork from Mistas hand, the clear silver growing green and dull, thorns slowly forming along its handle, leaves unfurling where prongs used to be… You knew there was no other explanation as he handed you a pristine red rose. It’s petals were soft to the touch, it’s color vibrant, and the end of its stem still green and damp, as if it had just been shorn from the bush. You didn’t want to accept it, it couldn’t be possible, but as Giorno recalled the events from that night, you realised that all the pieces fit together.

You had turned to help Giorno when one of Arrosticini’s henchmen attacked you from behind with a sharp blow to the head. Bruno took care of him as you fell to the ground, unconscious. Not even they could describe what  exactly happened next. It was a battlefield, bullets whizzing past, vines ensnaring each new enemy that entered the scene. Aerosmith flew overhead, careful not to injure anyone on the ground, especially his user, who was caught in a fistfight againt a weaker henchman. Just when Arrosticini was about reenter the fray, your stand showed itself. Trish had excitedly described the form in great detail, claiming it was one of the most beautiful stands she had seen (you weren’t really sure how to respond to that. “Thanks? I guess???”). Giorno claimed it was unlike anything he’d witnessed, a stand protecting the unconscious body of their user. She had attacked the enemy Don and several of his henchman, targeting anyone who dared threaten her user’s body. It was then that Narancia had been caught up in the confusion and charged at her, not knowing if the ethereal form was a friend or a foe. You were trembling as you listened to his description, how the stand’s eyes seemed to flash with fire as she locked sights on her next target. But Giorno would not allow his subordinate to be injured under his watch. He blocked the onslaught as your stand hurled a glimmering orb of lethal energy towards Narancia. Again, and again, she struck Giorno, as the other boy ducked out of the way. It was only when she neared Giorno, fist raised, ready to strike, that she paused.

“No one was left at that point,” Giorno recalled. “The streets were silent. The fight was ours. There was no reason to fight anymore.”

He hadn’t made any moves to attack, or even defend himself against. The stand noticed this, cocking her head with an almost quizzical look on her face. She extended her arm to place a shimmering Hand on Giorno’s chest, right over his heart. And with that she seemed to slowly shatter, shards of crystalline material blowing away like leaves in the wind as she vanished.

That was all you had been told. He was probably right about not revealing any more secrets than he needed to, after all, you were quite overwhelmed to begin with. He didn’t want to endanger you more by giving away any information that might be desirable to enemies of Passione. But you still occasionally wondered…

Your stand hadn’t shown up since that night, and luckily, no uninvited mafia bosses had shown up either. Giorno was always invited, however. He would check up on you occasionally, or send another of the boys to see how you were doing. You noticed men following you sometimes, not obviously following you, but still wary enough for you to realise that they were keeping a watchful eye on you and anyone who might attack you. You insisted that you didn’t need such protection, that Arrosticini wouldn’t want to come after you again, you simply weren’t worth it. And you hadn’t shown any magic powers or done anything out of the ordinary since you were attacked. Maybe it had just been a... one night stand (Mista literally fell out of his chair with laughter when you suggested this one night over dinner). However, Giorno refused to let his guard down. You would have liked to dine with them more, to hang out and have fun like normal friends do, yet every time you met them, he had one of his underlings escort you to the back entrance of the Osteria.

But the time you did spend with them was amazing. Sure, you knew some people at the university, but Giorno’s friends were charming, funny, each one of them so unique and quirky in their own way. Those rare moments when you saw them all together were when you were at your happiest. It was a night like this, about a month after you first met them, when Giorno begrudgingly invited you back to the restaurant. He reassured you, he was only hesitant because he was worried about your safety. Sometimes is was sort of cute how cautious he was, other times it made you feel trapped. But apparently Narancia and Mista had begged for you to join them tonight, and Trish suggested inviting you as well.

He smiled as he greeted you, kissing your cheeks (again, was this just Italian custom or was this just Giorno? Or, could there be something more...). Then you caught his eyes travelling down to your outfit. Most of your comfortable clothes were in the laundry, so you chose a cute little (f/c) dress. You wore short black heels with bows on the front, and umm… might have put on a little makeup to impress Gio. You blushed as he held you at arms length, a sweet smile on his face.

“You look beautiful today, (y/n)”  he took your arm as you looked away embarrassedly. Your tiny crush on Giorno had only grown over the past couple of weeks. So handsome, so gentlemanly. He just made you feel warm and bubbly and safe. You knew your relationship was one of necessity, he was… your protector I guess? Besides, as Don of Passione, he had his pick of all kinds of beautiful women and men. He certainly wasn’t going to choose you. “Sorry to make you come all this way,” a small smile formed on your lips.

“Giorno, you know I love you guys.” Before you had met them, you life had been so dull, so lonely. He linked arms with you, leading you to the booth in the back where the seven of them always sat.

“(Y/n)!”

“The star of the show has arrived!”

You giggled at their enthusiasm.

“Shut up guys, I’m not that great!” You slid into the booth next to Mista.

“Nonsense, cara mia.” Giorno sat beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder to reassure you “It’s wonderful to have you here.” Your heart stirred whenever he broke out the Italian.

First, Giorno updated you on his intel as usual. His spies hadn’t informed him his about Arrosticini’s whereabouts for weeks, his gang seemed to have fallen apart without his leadership, last spotted many miles south from here, still we should be cautious because blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah… his eyes were such a vibrant shade of turquoise. It was so beautiful how bands of light sea foam circling his pupil faded to a darker blue-green on the outer edge of his iris. He smirked.

“You’re not listening to me are you?” You blushed when you were discovered.

After that, the night continued as usual with thrilling stories jokes and amazing food. You were waiting for dessert, discussing his interests in classical music with Giorno (apparently he occasionally played the piano and you would love to hear him someday) when he spotted a familiar patron and went to greet them. Abba slumped over Bruno’s shoulder, the latter’s hand tangled in his lover’s long silver hair. Narancia, Fugo, and Trish were arguing about a recent movie or something, but Mista was getting tired of the conversation, and instead leaned over to talk to you, resting his head in his hands, a devilish smirk on his face.

“Soooooooo…” you cocked your eyebrow at him

“So?” you questioned.

“Giorno.” Giorno? What was this stinky boy talking about?

“What about Giorno?” You honestly had no idea what it was about, when it began to hit you.

“Thoughts?” Mista grinned as he raised his eyebrows suggestively. You tried to hide your blush.

“What do you mean, I… umm… well,” you looked to where Giorno was standing 20 or so feet away, trying not to think about how effortlessly beautiful he looked tonight. “I’m really glad that he’s willing to help me out with… whatever that was back then. He’s very kind and seems like he just wants the best for everyone.”

“Do you think he’s handsome?” Mista leaned in closer, resting his chin in his hands.

“Of c-course, I mean, everyone does.” You dodged each bullet of a question, though you were getting more uneasy… although, maybe it was fine to confide your little crush in Mista…

“(Y/n),” he drawled, “But how do you feel about him?” you bit your lip, really hoping that no one else at the table had noticed Mista’s prying. He picked up on your hesitation. “You like him don’t you?!” He whispered excitedly. Goddamnit Mista.

“Calm down” you looked as your hands, which were fidgeting nervously with the increasing pressure of the situation. “Maybe I do,” Mista let out a noise of excitement. “But it’s not big deal or anything…”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Bruno’s eyes flashed towards the two of you as Mista raised his voice. Dammit. “You guys would be so cute together!”

“What?!” You response was shaky as you turned even redder, if that was even possible. “No we wouldn’t…”

“I think it would be sweet,” you eyes went wide, Bruno sipping his wine nonchalantly as he joined the conversation. “You two complement each other quite well, and he needs someone to keep him grounded.” You couldn’t believe your ears. He smirked. “About time you two got together already.”

“G-guys, that’s not,” you knew he would only ever see you as a friend. “That’s not gonna happen, he doesn’t think about me like that,”

“Pfft,” Mista chuckled, “Guess again,” you nearly spit out your drink.

“What are you…”

“I mean, he’s always so damn worried about you,”

Bruno chimed in again:

“That’s true, he’s never cared this much about a civilian before”

“And the way he smiles when you’re around,” Mista flashed a silly dreamy smile. “I’m surprised he hadn’t asked you out yet.” This was getting to be a bit much for you. At this point, Narancia joined in.

“Wait, you mean, they’re not dating?!

Then Fugo:

“No you idiot!”

Abba chimed in:

“Not yet Narancia,”

You were becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

“Guys, could you please stop treating this like it’s some middle school crush or something? He’s just a nice guy, okay? End of discussion.”

Narancia snickered.

“Well then maybe you should stop acting like a lovestruck middle school girl!”

“I DO NOT!”

“DO TOO!” Suddenly Giorno gave Nara a small whack on the head from behind. You hadn’t noticed him finishing up his conversation, and tried your best to act natural. More than anything, you didn’t want your relationship to change, you didn’t want Giorno to be uncomfortable knowing you wanted to be something slightly more than friends. Unless he felt the same way, and honestly…

“Stop pestering the poor signorina,” he sat back down next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist as your heart pounded in you chest. Goddamnit you were so confused. “Fear not, (y/n). I will protect you from Narancia’s endless chattering.” His hand didn’t rest there for long as he placed his elbows on the table and leaned in to talk. “Anyway, what were you guys saying—”

“Nothing,” your response was quick and agitated as Mista chucked under his breath. Bruno smiled.

“We were just wondering when desserts would arrive.”

[melodramaticfanatic-blog]

Finish what we started - Henry Cavill x Reader

Pairing: Henry Cavill x reader

Warnings: smut…eventually. Minor anxiety and mentions of being overweight/losing weight

Summary: Y/N is a brand new actress who’s first project involves a long time interest of hers, Henry Cavill. Everything is going as planned until one day, while filming an intimate scene, there’s a minor malfunction.

A/N: first fan fiction. Not sure how many parts this might turn out to be. Also Tumblr is trying to kill me and deleted half my draft!!!

Completely based on this quote - “[on getting an erection while filming a sex scene] A girl had to be on top of me, she had spectacular breasts, and I hadn’t rearranged my “stuff” into a harmless position. She’s basically rubbing herself all over me and, um, it got a bit hard. It’s not great when you’re in a professional acting environment and somebody gets a boner, is it? I had to apologize profusely afterward.“

For years Y/N had dreamed of being an actress. She loved everything about movies and had even gone to college for film and television production. The only problem was her confidence. Y/N had been overweight for much of her life and tended to hide herself because of it. She had been in a few relationships but never anything serious or long term. Truthfully, she didn’t think she was worthy of much love and she had never felt beautiful. The idea that a casting director would want her was just as terrifying as the idea of opening herself up to the rejection of an audition process. 

It wasn’t until she turned 29 years old that her life started to change. Y/N’s older sister had asked Y/N to spend the summer babysitting Cara and Penelope, Y/N’s twin nieces, and chasing after the rambunctious girls had started to change her figure. After realizing that she was starting to see results without much effort, Y/N decided to take a chance. She signed up for local Zumba classes, began to swim with her nieces and changed her eating habits of 28 years, no longer devouring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while standing in her kitchen. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly, Y/N felt her confidence start to grow. She wasn’t skinny, her curves were still pronounced and womanly, but there was less excess to her and she was healthier and more toned. 

Please tell me that you know about this!!

The text message alert blared across the phone screen, breaking Y/N’s concentration, which moments before had been solely focused on her morning run.

You’re gonna have to be a little more specific sister from the same mister

If I could roll my eyes through text message I absolutely would

Y/N chuckled at her sister’s exasperation and then clicked on the link that was attached to the last text message. A short article appeared on the phone screen; it was an informational piece about an open casting call for a new film project, a project that just happened to be based on Y/N’s favorite book. 

They’re having trouble casting the role of Deanna….you know, your favorite female character of all time? The character that you relate to the most and that people tell you reminds them of you? Any thoughts on who might be able to take on that role?

Y/N slowed to a stop staring at the phone screen. It was true that fans of the book series who knew her often compared her to that character. According to the description given in the novels, Y/N even looked something like Deanna was supposed to but still…this was a major motion picture. There was no way that they would be interested in someone who had never even been on film before…right?

I can’t just be in a movie

There was a longer pause between messages this time, the three dots bouncing around to indicate that her sister was typing a long response.

Of course you can! You’ve always wanted to be in a movie and you’re a great actress. Besides, even if that isn’t how things turn out, don’t you think you owe it to yourself to try? This is Deanna. This is your favorite character in your favorite book. If you are sitting in a movie theater a year from now watching some other actress butcher this part, aren’t you going to regret not trying? All you have to do is film yourself doing a small monologue and send it into the casting directors. It’s easy. I’ll even help you. Besides, you know that Cara and Penny would love to cheer you on. So, what do you say? Time to be brave?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Time to be brave. How had such small words landed Y/N’s life into such chaos? When her sister had suggested the idea of auditioning for the movie, it had sounded ridiculous. It had taken weeks of prodding from friends and family before Y/N had even begun to consider it. Eventually, she had put herself on film, partly for fun, partly to shut everyone up and partly because…well, because she knew they were right and this was something she should try. Still bravery did not come naturally to Y/N and the very last thing she had expected was to receive a phone call from a casting director asking her to fly to Atlanta, GA for a call back audition and screen test! Yet that was exactly what had happened.

Y/N sat in the cold, crisp air of the production offices trying to breathe evenly and remember the lines of the scene that had been emailed to her. The waiting room was bright, white and too clean; it looked almost medical, which did nothing to help with her nerves. Fidgeting with the hemline of her dress, Y/N tried to fight the feeling that she stuck out like a sore thumb. Having never been in this situation before, she wasn’t sure how to dress so she had gone for a mix of traditional and edgy, just like her. A classical floral a-line dress flattered her figure, nude pumps elongated her legs making her smaller frame appear as long as possible and a worn in leather jacket wrapped closely around her torso, hinting at the dichotomy inherent in her personality. She had left her hair down letting it brush gently against her shoulders and left her makeup natural, hoping that everything would read well to the casting directors and cameras.

“Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N?” A lovely young woman opened a door in the corner of the room and looked at her with a curious but friendly smile.

Taking a deep breath and trying to steady her hands Y/N smiled and nodded.

“I’m Emily. They’re ready for you now if you’ll just follow me.”

Y/N stood up carefully, smoothing her hands over her dress and walking towards the doorway. She followed Emily down the hallway barely hearing the friendly chatter of the smaller woman until they reached a different door and Emily stopped with another warm smile.

“Don’t be nervous. I’ve seen the tape you sent in. Nothing to worry about beyond these doors.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile genuinely at that. “Thank you Emily, that’s too kind.”

A deep breath and a nod to Emily later, Y/N stepped through the door. The room she had just entered was small and simple. Beige walls provided a clean backdrop for screen tests. There was a long table on one side of the room with 3 chairs and a tripod behind it. One of the chairs was occupied by an older woman with a large binder, the second held a man who looked very relaxed behind his thick rimmed sun glasses. The third chair stood empty and Y/N assumed it was for the youngest in the room, a man who was adjusting the camera sitting on the tripod.

“Ah, Miss Y/L/N, so nice to finally meet you.” The woman behind the table stood up and came around to greet her. She was in her mid-50’s, clean cut and matronly with soft brown hair and kind eyes. “I’m Lisa, the casting director for this project. We spoke on the phone.”

“It’s nice to put a face to the voice,” Y/N said with a gentle smile.

Lisa returned the smile and gestured over her shoulder. “That’s our director, Guy Ritchie.” The director removed his sun glasses and shot Y/N a wink.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ritchie, I’m a fan of your work,” Y/N said almost reverently. It was true; the man in front of her was responsible for some of her favorite films of all time. 

“Really now?” The man chuckled and rubbed his strawberry blonde beard absentmindedly. “In a little while I may be telling you the same thing if this goes well.”

Y/N felt her face flush and had to look down at her shoes to gather herself. Lisa reached out to grasp her hand reassuringly.

“Come stand right here on this mark. This will be very simple. We’re going to start the camera, chat for just a bit and then we’ll have you state your name and age and read the scene with Theo there.” The young guy behind the camera looked up and nodded. “Any questions?”

“No, that sounds fine to me,” Y/N replied breathlessly. She looked down at the floor to make sure she was on her mark and then looked back towards the table where Lisa had returned to her seat.

With a quick nod from Theo, Guy looked at Y/N and asked, “So why did you decide to enter the open casting call?”

“Well…” Y/N huffed out a breath, “honestly, this project has the potential to be very important to me. I wasn’t lying to flatter you when I said I’m a fan of your work; your films have been very influential on me and the possibility of working with you is thrilling. More than that however, this is based off of a piece of literature that has shaped my life. These are the books that I can read and reread and always find something new in. Deanna is a character that has changed how I think about myself and the choices I make.“ For the first time since Y/N had received the phone call about the audition, she felt herself begin to relax. She knew this material like the back of her hand, it practically made up part of her soul.

The change wasn’t lost on Lisa and Guy. Y/N had been beautiful to them when she first entered the room with her Y/H/C hair gently framing her face and her Y/E/C eyes flashing with intelligence and kindness. As she began to speak with such passion though, she almost began to glow. Her voice became fuller, more confident and it filled the room as she stood straighter, her curvaceous shape on full display.

“Tell me about something you love besides the source material,” Guy stated as soon as Y/N had wrapped up her response to why she had applied.

“My nieces,” Y/N replied with no hesitation, a beatific smile breaking out on her face. “I have twin nieces, Cara and Penny, who are the greatest thing on Earth. They’re little monsters of course, all girls are at some point, but they can make me laugh no matter what kind of trouble they’ve gotten into.”

Guy was struck again by how stunning Y/N was. The more she talked, the more she let him in to see the real her, the more interested he became. It was a natural part of her; he could see that Theo was just as enthralled as he was. Y/N was charming, charismatic, beautiful and a natural actress he knew from her tape. As long as the reading went well and his leading man approved, he had found his Deanna. Audiences wouldn’t be able to resist falling in love with her.

“Well, I think that is a good start. Why don’t we have you read the scene with Theo now.”

Y/N smiled and nodded. Talking about Cara and Penny had given her the grounded feeling she had been searching for. Reading the scene was easy. It felt as though it had been written for her and by her. She didn’t hesitate once and never forgot a line. By the end of the scene both Lisa and Guy were beaming at her. 

“Two things,” Guy said seriously and for a moment Y/N felt her heart sink. What if she had misread the situation? “First, I am definitely a fan of your work.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh in relief.

“Secondly, I’m sold. You’re my Deanna…and you’ve been Lisa’s Deanna since she saw your tape. I think if I had tried to cast someone else I may have woken up with a horse head in my bed or something,” Guy chuckled and nudged the woman on his left. “I just need you to meet our leading man and do a small chemistry reading with him. I’m sure it won’t be a problem; this man could have chemistry with a rock…and you are certainly not a rock,” he said with a wry smile. “He should be around the lot somewhere now actually. I wonder if we can get him over here.”

At that moment, Emily poked her head in the door. “Sorry to interrupt but you-know-who just stopped by to see how auditions were going. Did you want me to bring him in?”

“Your timing could not be more perfect. Neither could his, but don’t tell him that; he’s perfect enough as it is,” Guy added the last in a snarky aside making Y/N giggle quietly. “Send him on in.”

Emily moved out of the door and gestured to someone down the hall. The sound of men’s dress shoes reached Y/N’s ears as the man walked down the corridor. Moments later the doorframe was filled with the large and, Guy was right, perfect body of someone Y/N knew well. If the body was perfect (and oh, god! was the body perfect) than the face was nothing short of godly. The crisp brown locks curling softly around the chiseled face, the blue eyes only made more perfect by the patch of brown that interrupted the cerulean circle of the left eye and the gentle stubble that adorned the sharp jaw was enough to make the breath catch in Y/N’s throat. She may have actually gasped but she couldn’t be sure as Guy had taken that moment to say “Henry! Come and meet Y/N. Y/N, this is Henry Cavill.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Henry smiled easily down at the woman in front of him. Next to his imposing 6'1” frame she looked positively tiny. He was immediately struck by the odd combination of clothes she wore, a leather jacket over a dress that would have made sense for a stepford wife…yet it suited her in a way he couldn’t quite explain. “Hello Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Y/N’s face flushed red as she held out her hand and watched it being enveloped by Henry’s much larger one. “The pleasure is all mine; I’m a fan of your work.”

“Don’t get excited Cavill,” Guy quipped quickly, “she says that to all the men!”

Both Y/N and Henry laughed at that, his deep bass reverberating through the room and making Y/N feel strangely comfortable.

“It’s true,” Y/N said with a wry smile, “I was going to say that to whoever walked through that door. If it was Pauly Shore I was prepared to exclaim how much I loved ‘Encino Man’!” With a sudden burst of confidence Y/N winked cheekily at Henry.

Another belt of laughter burst from his chest. This woman was something else; Henry couldn’t help but like and admire her almost immediately. She was obviously bright and witty but she was also beautiful and reserved. He was already looking forward to unraveling the contradictions that made her…well, her. The fact that Henry couldn’t peel his eyes away from her curves wasn’t a problem either.

“How has everything gone so far?” Henry asked as he walked farther into the room, seating himself in the empty chair.

“Brilliantly and don’t get comfortable,” Guy responded quickly. “ I need to get you two on camera together reading this scene.”

Almost instantly, and with a grace that shocked Y/N, Henry’s large form was on his feet and next to her. “It would be my absolute pleasure,” he stated, his warm, deep voice seeming to caress Y/N as he spoke. He gently cleared his throat and fell into a flawless American accent as he began to recite the lines.

Y/N kept up flawlessly. It was a great scene, full of comedy and yet hinting at deeper emotions underneath. Working the scene with Henry was different than reciting the lines with Theo. Suddenly, there was a physicality to the scene; Y/N couldn’t help but playfully slap at Henry’s impressive biceps as her character chided his. He responded happily, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously at her as he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him. Without either of them realizing it, Y/N and Henry had created a sexual tension that left the room charged with an almost palpable energy as their bodies pressed against each other, his large arms circling her waist while her smaller hands pressed to his chest. As the scene drew to a close, she said her last few lines, laughing and nuzzling her face to his chest in a gesture that was so perfectly appropriate Guy was shocked the direction wasn’t written into the script. As she did, Henry felt his breath catch slightly. Y/N felt amazing in his arms; he loved how he was able to wrap himself around her and fit perfectly against her hourglass shape. She was the perfect height as well, her face resting against his chest and allowing him to inhale the delicate scent of her hair. He could stay wrapped around her as long as he needed to he realized. With that realization came another, slightly more embarrassing one…he wanted her wrapped around him in a much more intimate way than she was now. He couldn’t help but gulp at the thought and he took a careful step backwards while smiling down at her.

“That was perfect!” Guy was overjoyed. His long search was over. Henry and Y/N would have the audience turning into puddles in their seats. “Let’s get a deal signed for Y/N and start preproduction as soon as possible.”

Henry smiled down at Y/N and leaned in to kiss her cheek softly. “I can’t wait to work with you,” he whispered in her ear, his lightly accented voice dripping like honey and causing shivers to shoot up her spine. “I’ll see everyone soon,” Henry called over his shoulder as he left the room with a wave. It was time for him to go and see about getting himself a cold shower to dispel these thoughts about his new costar.

More to come! Please let me know what you think!

Next

[umusicians]

UM Interview: What If Elephants

Montreal Indie Pop band What If Elephants are making their stamp on the Canadian music industry with a sound that is very much their own. Formed in 2014, the quartet strikes a delicate balance with their elegant and rousing sound – between accessible pop and deeper, introspective lyrics that lie just below the surface. The bands success includes being a Four times semi-finalists in CBC Searchlight, winners in Canada’s Walk of Fame RBC Emerging Musician Program 2018 and featured both on Canada Destinations and Parcs Canada for promotional campaigns.

Amandah Opoku sat down with Joey Langlois of What If Elephants to talk about the band's new single “Sugar Daddy”, Canadian music influences, growth as a band and more!

Amandah Opoku: Joey, thank you for doing this interview today! Before we kick off please tell our readers about yourself and one random fact people do not know about you. Joey Langlois: Thanks for having me! People may not know that I am a huge fan of sci-fi movies. Namely the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars, and anything Christopher Nolan does haha.

Amandah Opoku: If you could describe What If Elephants’ music in three words, what words would you choose and why? Joey Langlois: This one is easy for me to overthink. To keep it simple, I’d say; fun, reflective and accessible. Fun because I know all of us in the band love to groove, so hopefully that’s transmitted haha. Reflective because we put a lot of thought into all the musical and lyrical decisions we make, as well as what we’re saying with a given song. Accessible because it’s fairly easy to digest the musical and lyrical ideas we put out.

Amandah Opoku: What If Elephants is a Canadian Indie Pop band, based in Montreal. Have any Canadian artists influenced you musically? If so, who? Joey Langlois:  Hey Rosetta / Tim Baker as projects, have had a significant influence on us as musicians. I’ve personally loved hearing what Justin Bieber, Scott Hellman, Alessia Cara, Shawn Mendes, Valley, Walk Off The Earth, and soooo many more artists have been doing in the past couple years. I’m also influenced by a lot of friends projects; Maya Malkin/Motel Raphael, Bayla, Flara K, and many other we’ve had the pleasure of working with over the years.

Amandah Opoku: What If Elephants is a unique name. How did you come up with the name for the band? And what does the name “What If Elephants” mean to you? Joey Langlois: One night, we were chilling with friends and I brought them the problem of choosing a band name. As we tossed around ideas saying; “what about this, what if that?…. what if elephants?”, kinda just popped out. There’s something majestic about that animal. There’s also the idea that we strive to address the elephants in the room - as the expression goes - while still remaining accessible. To be honest, I was looking for a new band name earlier this year haha. For some people it seems like the stars align. For others, there just isn't a name that feels like sums up your ideas.

Amandah Opoku: What inspired you to pursue a music career and create “What If Elephants”? Joey Langlois: For me, it was wanting to create music with positive messages for following generations of youth. When I was a kid, there seemed to be a lack of depth and/or positivity in a lot of the easily accessible music. The way we access music has changed, but there is still a need for more positivity!  As a person, I much prefer to collaborate than work alone, so forming a band with friends just made sense. We love spending time together, which I think is key for the long haul.

Amandah Opoku: What is one piece of advice you received since you began pursuing music, that has aided you on your path? Joey Langlois: Everyone has their own story of how things work out. Be honest with your art, work hard, and stick with it as long as you love it. That’s synthesized. It’s hard to pinpoint one piece of advice, all the advice becomes a vibe haha.

Amandah Opoku: What If Elephants is made up of 4 individuals with divergent musical experiences that contribute to your sound. What’s it like writing and working together with your different influences? And how do you incorporate everyone’s ideas into the creation process? Joey Langlois: A lot of our songs had unique processes from one another. We’ve created arrangements in a jam space. Recording session all together. I’ve sent only lyrics for someone else to write chords and melody. Sometimes I arrive with a song I wrote with another songwriter and we arrange, and the list goes on. I generally have a good idea of where I want to go sonically for the production, so often in that stage, I’ll communicate basic ideas musically or verbally and then Justin, Alanna, or Collin will interpret it with their touch and ideas. It really is never the same though - thus far.

Amandah Opoku: 2020 was quite a year for all of us. How has the pandemic affected you as a musician? What have you learned about yourself? Joey Langlois: 2020 has taught me that I need to be a lot nicer to myself with my inner voice. I can be very destructive to myself with my thoughts on my musical pursuits or just life in general. I’m not sure that this is entirely new for me, but 2020 highlighted it for sure. As a musician, I’d say that it opened up time for some collaborations that may not have happened otherwise, which is the other side of the coin which has cost the industry a lot.

Amandah Opoku: What Elephants is releasing a new single “Sugar Daddy” at the end of this month, what inspired the song? Joey Langlois: I’ve never really had that much money, but I’ve never experienced extreme poverty either. The song reflects some of my experience of what happens when you’re in the grind of reaching goals or just paying bills and how it can put stress on a relationship. The song is a reminder to evaluate my priorities when things start to fall apart.

Amandah Opoku: What was the writing and recording process like for “Sugar Daddy”? Joey Langlois: I wrote the first draft of the song in 2018, and my friend Tokyo Speirs contributed lyrics to polish the chorus. The verse underwent two re-writes, after which Mike Bilenki helped refine some of the lyrics as well. As a band we had come up with the core arrangement pretty early on, so the last stage was having our friend Lucas Liberatore co-produce it with us and give the last push on a long, long journey to deliver a polished track. Without him stepping in, we weren’t even sure about finishing it for this EP! Everything was kind-of recording across that whole time span. Some pre, and some post-COVID 19.

Joey Langlois: “Sugar Daddy” features Maya Malkin, how did the collaboration happen? Joey: Maya has been a good friend to me and the band for years. I’ve always admired her skills as an artist and songwriter. Once the verses had been written, somehow to me it just kind of felt like that verse needed a character Maya could totally capture. I won’t say I told you so, but when I hear it, I couldn’t be happier that she leant her voice to this track. Very excited about her solo project as well!

Amandah Opoku: With “Sugar Daddy” out at the end of this month, what can fans expect from What If Elephants next? Joey Langlois: ‘What can we expect next’ is one of the most difficult question to answer these days. What we plan on doing is releasing another single and finally, our new EP between now and May. Making informed decisions with the constantly changing structure of our lives these days seems impossible, but we hope to give the best experience possible as we share what we’ve created, as we adjust to varying constraints. We’re working our butts off on making some cool videos – that’s been my hobby these days. I spend hours setting up weird science experiments just to see if an idea I’ve developed for hours has a chance of working haha.

Amandah Opoku: You (What If Elephants) released your debut EP ‘Getaway’ in 2015, how would you say you’ve grown as an individual and a band?  Joey Langlois: Oh my. I think we’ve grown closer to each other. We don’t get to just hang out a ton. Music takes a lot of time, and then each of us has our own life. I feel like we’ve all become more decided on what we enjoy in life, which is helpful to, you know - enjoying life haha. Recently, I’m learning to enjoy the little things that can easily seem like distractions from the important things, but might be opportunities to get insight on something inspiring. Dishes for example. I mostly have avoided dishes for as long as possible and then dreaded them. Now, they’re becoming a moment to listen and learn - be it from a podcast, music, or through talking with Alanna. It’s actually become a bit of a retreat, but not always haha. It would be great to have a dishwasher. That’s one example.

Amandah Opoku: What have you learned since the release of your debut EP, that you wish you knew when you first started this journey? Joey Langlois: Make the music you truly want to make. That first EP is something the I’m grateful for, but I know that at the time, I was very much making music that I thought suited Montreal better than the poppy sound I would otherwise naturally emit. I am still learning that. Learning how to be myself is a constant effort. Whether it’s getting over self-consciousness, or actually just trying to know what I really want. I find that I sometimes get confused between what the world says I should want, and what I actually want. Also, I wish I had started collaborating with other artists and writers so much earlier.

Amandah Opoku: If you had to choose 1 song to send to a listener to introduce them to What If Elephants, what song would you choose and why? Joey Langlois: “Elastic Band” gives a good general overview of our vibe, but I must say that I can’t wait to release new material because I do find it represents where I’m at now, much better. 

Amandah Opoku: For new fans who come across your music, what would you like them to take away from your music? Joey Langlois: Hope. We go through so much hardship in life, both practically and relationally. I want people to know they’re not alone and that there are ways we can think and things we can do that can have a positive effect or our own lives and the lives of others. And I hope they also just have a good time jamming to it.

Amandah Opoku: Joey, thank you for sitting down with me! Before we close this interview, is there anything you want to say to your fans and our readers? Joey Langlois: It’s been a pleasure! Please hang in there everyone. Be kind to the people around you (including you!) - both the people who agree with you and the ones that disagree. In the end, it is the culmination of our small gestures towards one another that shape our world. We feel so lucky to be able to create this music, and so thankful that people would take the time to listen and connect with it. 

Connect with What If Elephants: https://www.whatifelephants.com/ https://www.facebook.com/whatifelephants/ https://www.instagram.com/whatifelephants/ https://twitter.com/whatifelephants

[h-styles-babes]

No Control | Chapter Twenty

Summary: 

Micky Bennett: college student, loyal friend, aspiring nurse, One Direction fan, Harry Styles enthusiast. Her best friend, Trevor, wins tickets to a show in New Jersey with meet and greet passes. Micky expects a quick photo op with the boys and a great night at the concert with her best friend. What she gets a whole lot more than she bargained for.

To read previous chapters, you can go here.

*Please feel free to reblog and send feedback. It’s much appreciated :)*

*Gif is not mine.*

TWENTY

When we get back to Harry’s home, it’s half six and we’re supposed to be at Grimmy's party at eight. Harry lets me set up in his bathroom so I can do my hair and makeup while he makes some phone calls. I can hear him in his room, talking in a hushed tone to who I’m assuming is someone from his team. He’s not saying a whole lot, letting the other person talk for longer stretches of time, and when he does respond it’s in short answers and little clips. I don’t even try to listen to what’s being said, minding my own business and continuing to curl my hair into big waves instead of the little kinks that’s its natural state. 

I’m part way through applying my makeup, brush poised over my eyelid, when Harry leans in the doorway of the bathroom, watching me through the mirror. I look up at him with a smile as he watches me, a little quirk to the corner of his lips. When he just continues staring without making a move or saying anything, I chuckle somewhat uncomfortably.

“What?” I ask, going back to swiping on eyeshadow so we don’t just keep staring at each other. 

Harry’s smile widens as he shakes his head a little. “You’re just absolutely stunning, is all. Most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met.”

My cheeks begin to heat, making the addition of blush obsolete. “You hang out with models and actresses on the regular, Harry. All of which are much more pretty than me.”

His brow furrows and he shakes his head, walking further into the bathroom. He wraps his arm around my waist. “Micky, I don’t think you see yourself clearly. The first time I saw you, I physically lost my breath. Seeing you was like a kick in the chest, you’re so pretty. Your big round eyes, your plump pouty lips, your soft skin. And then, when I got to know your mind, you just got a million times more beautiful, if that’s even possible.”

I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes as he looks at me with such admiration, a shine in his eyes that seems brighter than normal. My vision blurs with the pooling in my eyes. I roll my eyes up to the ceiling to keep them from escaping down my face. 

“Don’t you dare make me cry, Styles,” I warn through a laugh. 

“I didn’t want to make you cry,” he promises, pressing kisses to my cheek. “Just want you to see yourself the way I see you.”

I reach my hand up to wind in the hair at the back of his head as he nuzzles his face against mine. He lightly sponges kisses across my jaw and down my neck. I changed into one of his button up shirts when we got back so I didn’t have to pull a shirt over my head after doing my hair and makeup, so he brushes the collar aside to trail over my shoulder. 

“We’ve got to get going soon. Finish up and get dressed.” He smacks one more kiss to my cheek and lightly swats at me bum, making me jump and laugh. He winks at me in the mirror before going into his closet to get changed.

Harry is down stairs while I get dressed in his room. When I’m finally put together, I almost don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I’ve dressed up before for my father’s work parties and events that Trevor and I have gone to together, but this is different. For the first time, I see myself as someone that actually fits at Harry’s side. The dress looks even better with the stockings and the black heels and my hair done. I look older than my twenty-one years, too, which is a miracle since I’ve always had a bit of a baby face. 

I go down to the first floor and hear Harry tinkering around with something in the sitting room. When I see him, I have to bite the inside of my cheek. He’s wearing black slacks, a black button up shirt tucked into the trousers, the buttons undone to the center of his chest, and a black coat.

“You look entirely too good in all black,” I tell him.

His head jerks up at the sound of my voice from where he’s fiddling with something in his hands. His eyes widen and his mouth drops open as his eyes roam over me, his lips gradually lifting into a smile. “You look incredible.” He walks closer to me, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“So do you,” I reciprocate. With my heels on, we’re closer in height, but he still has quite a bit on me, a testament to how drastic our height difference is usually. “What’ve you got there?” I ask, looking down at the other hand that’s dropped by his side. 

“The surprise I told you about earlier.” He raises his hand and presents it palm up, a black ring box sat in its center. 

My brow furrows as I look at it. He wiggles his hand a bit, encouraging me to open it. I take a deep breath and take it in my hands, clicking open the top and gazing down at the little diamond encrusted ring that’s shaped like a tiara.

“Oh, Harry, it’s beautiful,” I breathe. 

He grabs the box from me and takes the ring out of its little cushion. He pockets the box and takes my left hand in his, slipping the ring on my middle finger. “You’re my princess, so I thought it was fitting you have your own tiara. And since it seems a bit impractical to wear one on your head, this ring seemed like a better idea.” 

I laugh as he kisses the ring and then runs his thumb over his ring that I’m still wearing on my thumb. My heart is hammering in my chest with how happy this man makes me and how amazingly perfect I find him in every way. I know he has his flaws, some I’ve yet to see, but everything about him fits with me, and my heart can hardly handle that without jumping out of my chest. 

“Thank you, Harry,” I whisper. I lean forward and tilt my head to press my lips to his briefly, not wanting to get the lipstick I’m wearing all over his face. When I pull back, I wipe my thumb over his lips to get rid of the little that transferred. He smiles and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Come on, we’ve got a party to get to.”

Grimmy’s holding this dinner party thing at some fancy restaurant where he’s reserved a large back room. Harry and I are a little early since he wants to spend some more time with Nick and some of their closer friends before anyone else arrives, so there’s only a handful of people talking to each other in small groups. There’s a DJ set up in the corner, but right now there’s only soft music playing in the background. Servers are bustling about the space getting things properly set up for when we’re to eat and a table full of booze is being filled for the guests. I don’t know how much money Nick makes as a radio host, but it’s obviously a pretty penny.

When Nick sees us, his eyebrows raise when he sees me, whistling low. “Well, look at you. Looking fit in that dress, Micky. Trying to upstage the rest of us?” he teases. He’s dressed in a white button up shirt with an unidentifiable print on it, a black blazer, and grey trousers, looking well put together and charming. He pulls me into a hug with a kiss to my cheek and then hugs Harry. “Have the prettiest lady on your arm tonight, Haz.”

Harry smiles. “Yeah, I know. One of my finer moments.”

“Gonna be breaking quite a few hearts tonight, Styles,” Grimmy warns. “Not to mention the media storm you two have been causing.”

“We’ve been avoiding it,” Harry informs. He let me know earlier than he hadn’t actually took the time to read any of the articles he came across, merely skimmed the headlines, which were bad enough on their own. I haven’t even done that much, not really wanting to see the lies people who don’t even know me are making up. Plus, I haven’t wanted more of a reason to tear apart that Jeanine girl; I’m already teetering on homicidal as it is. 

“Well, other than the bullshit they’re all spewing,” Grimmy starts, rolling his eyes in exasperation, “the good eggs are quite taken with Miss Micky, here.”

“Really?” I question, a bit surprised. I still hadn’t gone on my social media accounts, either, knowing it would be too much work to block thousands of people. I’m just letting it blow over for now. 

Nick nods. “Oh yeah. The ones that actually care about Harry keep going on about how pretty you are and how they’re happy to see Harry with someone so normal. And they quite like your fashion sense.”

I nearly burst out laughing. “My fashion sense is what I can get for cheap at TopShop or Forever 21, with the occasional designer piece forced on me by my rich mate.”

He shrugs. “Whatever. People are into it. Take what you can get, love.”

Three hours, delicious food, lots of dancing, and too many shots of tequila later, Harry and I are hands-y and overzealous with the PDA. His friends keep teasing us when they catch us pressing our bodies too close together and Harry’s hands slipping up the hem of my dress. Cara and Rita are among those in attendance, and they stay around us all night, kindly keeping me company when Harry gets pulled away and complimenting me on my dress. 

Some other way too famous faces comes over throughout the night to introduce themselves to me. I’m a little overwhelmed, especially considering I’m a bit intoxicated, but I take it in stride as best I can. We chat as if we’re casual friends, all of them making some sort of comment about how whipped Harry looks whenever I’m around. I brush it off, saying that we just care about each other, but I can’t say it’s not nice to here that other people see how Harry and I are toward one another. 

Harry and I reunite at about one, both of us dragging our feet and tired from the long day and the alcohol. Harry’s eyes are a bit red and squinty from the booze he’s had tonight, but he still looks adorable. If possible, he’s even more charming when he’s a bit toasted, so the night has been fun, filled with lots of laughs and new memories made. 

He pulls me to his chest, automatically squishing his face into the crook of my neck. “Ready to head out?” he asks, his words slightly slurred and muffled against my skin.

I nod and run my hands through his hair, which has gone back and forth from being down around his shoulders and up in a bun at the crown of his head all night. 

“Let’s go say bye to Grimmy,” he offers. He takes my hand and pulls us through the crowd of people to where Nick is with Kelly Osborne and Pixi Geldorf, all of them very obviously hammered, faces red and leaning on each other for support, though they’re all unsteady on their feet. 

We say our goodbyes, Nick clinging onto Harry and pressing kisses to his cheeks, gushing about how good it’s been to see him again and how he can’t wait for Harry to be done with tour so they can spend more time together. Then he moves onto me, raving about how nice and pretty I am and how good I am for Harry. He kisses me square on the lips, making me promise to keep in touch with him, taking my mobile phone and shoving his in my hand so that we can have each other’s numbers. 

Harry and I finally make it to the entrance of the restaurant, which closed its doors to the public a few hours ago, so it’s completely empty. Harry had the sense to have us picked up by a cab earlier in the evening, knowing we’d both be too pissed to drive back to his house at the end of the night. Harry informs me that the Uber he’s called is just down the street, so we exit, fine to wait on the curb for the few moments it’ll take for the car to get here.

However, we weren’t expecting there to still be paparazzi camped outside the building at this hour of night. As soon as they realize Harry Styles has just walked through the doors, flashes start going off and chants of Harry’s name, too loud in the otherwise quiet night.

Harry pulls me behind him, trying to keep me shielded from all the paps. “Jesus Christ,” he grumbles under his breath. I press myself as close to Harry’s back as I can, stumbling slightly over my heels and needing him for balance. Through all the flashes, I see the arrival of car headlights, our Uber pulling up to the curb. We’ve only got to walk a few metres to be well on our way home, but it’s going to be a bit of a challenge with the amount of people between us and it. 

“Guys, please, just trynna get home,” Harry pleads, suddenly sobered completely.

Amongst Harry’s name, I can now hear my own name being called out, which is strange, to say the least, and I keep my head down. An unfamiliar hand is suddenly on my shoulder, keeping me back from Harry, and jerking my hand in his. 

Harry looks over his shoulder and sees what’s going on, immediately rounding back and addressing the guy who’s got his hand on me, face more menacing than I’ve see it. 

“Hey, don’t fucking touch my girl, yeah? Not polite to grab a lady.” he barks out. He curls his hand around my waist, pulling me against his side, glaring at the guy who grabbed me. I can hear some murmuring, most likely the paps already gossiping about the stories they can spin about Harry’s small outburst. I see Harry roll his eyes before forging ahead once more, getting us to the car with no further incidents. 

Once the door’s closed, he turns to me, face in his hands as he looks over me, breathing a little erratic. “Yeh alright, love? Didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“Harry, I’m fine, babe,” I promise, wrapping my hands around his wrists. “Only grabbed my shoulder.”

He looks at me for a few more moments before sighing and kissing me on the lips, and then all over my face. I can’t help but giggle and his lips flutter over my skin, and it eventually gets him laughing, relieving the tension from the run in with the paparazzi, some of our drunkenness seeping back into our behavior.

When we get back to Harry’s house, we stumble into his bedroom, both of us tired and flopping into his comfy, large bed. I kick my heels off and start pulling pins out of my hair; Harry sits next to me and struggles to pull off his own boots, falling over onto the bed several times before he’s successful. I’m already out of my dress by the time he’s made it to the buttons on his shirt. I see him pout down at his chest.

“Do you need some help, love?” I ask over a chuckle.

His pout is still present when he looks up at me, but it’s gone in an instant, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, his eyes clouding over. 

“What?” I ask, slightly confused.

“You look so fucking sexy,” he rasps out, his fingers abandoning their task and dropping to his thighs. 

I remember that I’m only dressed in a garter belt and my stockings, and finally realize what he’s on about. My fingers involuntarily go to the elastic straps attaching the belt to the nylons.

“Come over here,” Harry orders. “I’m not so tired anymore. I’m gonna have you with your pretty lingerie on, princess.”

We drive back to Holmes Chapel the next morning. Harry’s flight leaves out of Manchester Monday afternoon, so we’ve decided to spend our last day in our hometown to visit his family again before he’s got to go back on the road for a few months. 

Harry looks over at me as he’s driving and I’m lulling in and out of consciousness in the passenger seat, my head propped against the window, jolting with every bump that we roll over. He smiles before glancing back at the road. 

“What?” I whine, only half awake.

“I feel like you’ve taken my entire collection of band tees, love,” he teases, referring to The Beatles shirt I’ve currently got on underneath my jean jacket.

I scoff. “I’ve seen your closet. You’ve got to have at least fifty more. And if you don’t want me to take them, stop handing them to me to wear.”

He shrugs, still grinning at me. “Told yeh, like seeing you in my clothes.”

“Then stop complaining,” I laugh, reaching over to pat a hand to his chest. He captures it with his own holding it to his heart for a moment before lifting it and pressing a kiss to my palm. My own heart flutters at his show of affection and I can’t help but smile. 

Harry keeps my hand in his in his lap. “Mum just wants a day in, watch some films, laze around.”

“Sounds great. I could probably use a nap.”

He smirks. “Wore you out?”

“We didn’t get to bed until three, you woke me up at five to go again. Then when we both woke at nine, we went again. Yeah, I’m a little tired,” I joke, squeezing at his hand. 

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. We’ll get a nap in later. Wanna go to Manchester tonight, too. Go on a date.”

I look over at him, eyebrows raised and trying to keep the smile off my face. “Yeah?”

He nods. “Yeah. There’s a pub out there that does live music on the weekends I wanna take you to.”

“I’d love to. Less drinking tonight, yeah?”

He groans and nods. “Absolutely. Still got a headache.”

I pout at him playfully. “Aw, my poor baby.”

“I need a good cuddle when we get to Mum’s.”

“We can do that.”

“Good.”

As promised, Harry and I have a cuddle on Anne’s couch as we watch Pretty Woman with his parents. I’m laid across the couch on my back with Harry tucked into my side, his head on my chest. It’s incredibly comfortable and I feel so warm, running my fingers through his hair and feeling his breath puff out against my chest. Anne and Robin are cuddled together on the loveseat, looking just as comfy and sleepy as Harry and I are. 

Towards the end of the film, the front door opens and Gemma steps through. One glance at the sitting room and she rolls her eyes when she sees Harry and I together. She plasters a smile on her face, though, when her mum greets her and Harry perks his head up to say hello. I think I’m the only one to see her little move, so I just ignore it and keep it to myself, not wanting to be further on her bad side than I already apparently am. 

Gemma very pointedly ignores the fact that I’m even in her house for the remainder of the evening, only speaking to her family and not even reacting whenever I say anything to contribute to conversation. I try not to take it too personally, because I know she’s just being protective of her brother, but it still kinda bites to be so openly disliked by someone that means a lot to Harry. 

“You ready to get going, love?” Harry asks just after five. We’ve got to stop by my house so I can change before heading into Manchester, so we’ve got a bit of a drive ahead of us. 

I nod and he helps me off the couch. I stretch and gather myself as Harry and his family say goodbye, Anne getting obviously teary at having to say goodbye for another few months. Him touring so often has got to be hard on her, and I couldn’t imagine having to let a child go out on their own at such a young age and then never really seeing much of them again in the following five years. I’d cry every time we had to say our goodbyes, too.

TWENTY-ONE

[jonjost]

Cara Clarinha,

Last week I was in Seattle, a big and interesting city, there to do a bit of final mixing on Pequenos Milagres, and to record some music for another piece.   The mix went well and it is now, with the voice over, much more audible.  Thanks to friend Steve Peters for that.  And then recorded some music for the Yellowstone Canyon film, cello played by Lori Goldston, with a bit of there/gone feedback included.  Likely that music will wander into other things as well.

While there visited the Henry Gallery, a museum connected with the university and saw a few exhibitions, one a sprawling one filling the entire floor with what I think of as an academic art of the sort that exists only because art schools and critics exist.  Utterly forgettable, a kind of literature never meant to be read.

And then another woman, Cecilia Vicuña, working in Chile and New York.  Her work was interesting and “fun”, and reminded me of Paul Klee and Alexander Calder – playful, not serious.  Many of her pieces were very small.  I like these kinds of things, though I do not consider them “art” but more in the world of design or graphics.  Pleasurable, but nothing that cuts deep into the soul.

  She also had a hanging work, with long pieces of cloth in a circle, going up 5 meters or so.  Like the small pieces, it was pleasant and enticing, but craft, not art.

I also stopped by the James Turrell Sky Room at the museum:

After four days I returned on the ferry and bus, back to Port Angeles, back to Carver country” to ponder a bit more on that.  I visited his grave again and shot more pages of the little book there.  And thought some more.

  And on getting back had a most wonderful meal – the best lamb I have ever had – cooked by Steve, whose place I am staying at.  Before going to Seattle I had trimmed his 3 meter high hedges, up on a ladder with an electric chainsaw, working out my muscles in a manner which I hadn’t done in a while.  There was other yard work done, and now my body is sore – a good kind of soreness though.  And feeling not bad for 76 years.

While in Seattle I brought to a close the original reason for my journey back to the USA, the proposal to make a film here with certain promises made, but over the summer it was already clear that things would not unfold in the way described, and I decided to bring it to a stop.  I had come to America knowing that could happen as easily as not, so I am not bothered by it at all.  Instead I’ll try to make another film with Steve in Port Angeles, centered around his work as a mental health therapist.  And work with other things already shot, some many years ago, some new.

Still nothing really firm on other possible things, though both the Kolkata workshop and the Cuban one are looking likely.  Like all these things they can disappear in a moment. Meantime I wait and am patient.

  On the sidewalk near an elementary school in Port Angeles a walk from where I stay.

In Portland now for the weekend and then return to Port Angeles where I will be alone for 10 days, and hope to try again to paint again, as well as work on editing and other things – photography projects, video things, and music.

Oh – a big surprise !  I have been asked to sing my country-western/folk songs at next summer’s Ravenna music festival!  I need to have 10 songs down well, which should be no problem.  And the albums recorded with Christian Ravaglioli should be released soon, or so he tells me.  Though soon in Italy (like Portugal) can be a long time !

And that is my news of the moment.  I hope school is going well, and that you are happy with friends and Tiago.  And of course I hope to hear from you, but again, I am patient.

Amo-te, Clarinha !

Teu pai

jon

      Mais Cartões Postais para Clara Cara Clarinha, Last week I was in Seattle, a big and interesting city, there to do a bit of final mixing on…

[hrrytomlinson]

happy spring!! here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of april. I recommend that you read these great fics in may, if you haven’t already.

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)

1. Pour Your Heart Out (92k)

Louis is his soulmate. Or at least Harry thinks he is. Louis feels the same as Louis. But there are a lot of people named Louis in the world and this Louis might not be the Louis. It’s besides the point though, because Harry knows he can’t allow himself to get close to any boys. He just can’t and he’s told himself this multiple times. He has to simply stay away from Louis Tomlinson. But he can’t. Harry Styles can never stay away from Louis Tomlinson. It’s physically impossible for him to.

2. Love Endless (Path to Permanence) (241k)**

So now Louis' finally done the love thing, and it's already in jeopardy? Just his luck. Harry's evil twin is back, and that can't mean anything good. It never has. Even with the help of friends, will Harry and Louis be able to keep him at bay? And is Auron really who they should be worried out?

...Only one way to find out. [Book 2/4]

3. Like to Keep You Laughing (12k)*

Louis gasped. “Are you straight? Oh, I'm sorry, man. You should’ve just told me; I would’ve left you alone.”

“No, no, that’s not it," Harry said. "I like guys. I definitely like guys.”

“OK…”

“Louis, I’m ace.”

Louis snorted. “Kind of full of yourself, aren’t you?”

—

Or, the one where Louis is a frat boy who likes to hook up and Harry is someone who doesn't hook up ever.

4. Be With Me So Happily (42k)**

Harry Styles may have had his doubts at first, but by the time the gates to the elephant sanctuary came into view he was one hundred percent positive. Louis Tomlinson hated his guts. Like hated, hated. Like loathed-him-on-sight hated.

From what Harry could tell, he hadn’t even done anything close to insulting enough to warrant the disdain that was Louis Tomlinson’s default expression whenever he looked at Harry. It really wasn’t fair. Especially since he’d been lusting after the man from the second he’d laid eyes on that pretty, pretty face with those pretty, pretty eyes.

Or ... the one where Harry Styles has a bad reputation and a heart of gold, and Louis Tomlinson wishes he wasn't so enchanted by boys who looked like Disney characters and wore shirts with bumble bees on them [aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn't want to babysit his funder's spoiled lay-about son for two months].

5. Walk on the Ocean (26k)**

The boy smirked. “So we’re really playing it this way, huh?”

Louis didn’t miss a beat. “We can play it anyway you want darling.” He dragged a finger along the soft inside of the man’s inner arm, earning a shudder as his nail scraped lightly against the sensitive skin there. He liked that he made him do that, wanted to do it again.

The other man stared down at Louis and searched his eyes. “Yeah. Ok,” he finally said, grinning widely. “My name is Harry.”

—

Harry is an on the rise rock star. Louis is as far from the music scene as a famous producer's son can get. They meet and everything changes.

6. Love is on the Radio (35k)

To win a pair of tickets to watch Manchester United playing, Louis may have possibly lied to Nick Grimshaw on the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show, asking Harry, his best friend, to be his boyfriend. Problem is - Harry has always been in love with Louis and so, this Valentine’s he’s gonna see his dreams come true, with a tiny bit of a twist, in order to watch the football team they have loved together since they were kids.

7. What’s Stopping You? (14k)**

That shirt was what held his attention again. How many other guys had the same shirt that H and Harry had, and – wait. H… Harry. Harry did yoga. So did H. They both had the same shirt, and had both gotten home ten minutes ago and were cooking dinner.

No way.

Louis looked at the picture again, and stared more closely at H’s lips. They were pink and pouty, with the lower lip a bit plumper than the top, just like Harry. And H had brown, curly hair that reached his shoulders, just like Harry.

Louis looked over at Harry, who was putting his hair back up into a bun as the kitchen was most likely getting warmer.

“Holy shit,” Louis whispered. Have I been flirting with my own roommate all this time?

---

Or, the one where Harry wants to get over his crush on Louis, so he makes a Grindr account to find someone new. Of course, Louis messages him, not realizing H's real identity. It only takes a few days for them to figure it out.

8. Come Away With Me (80k)*

Louis had such big plans. He wanted so much out of life, and so did Amy. Now Bridget is going to grow up without a mother, and she’s always going to wonder what it would be like if this hadn’t happened. He wonders if she’ll blame him for her mother’s death as she gets older, or if she’ll understand that this is just as painful for Louis as it is for her. Louis doesn’t know how he’s going to raise her on his own, because he’s a fantastic father, yes, but he’s always been the fun parent, and Amy was in charge of the rules. He doesn’t know how to make sure Bridget has everything she needs all the time, doesn’t know how to make her favorite meal or how to do that one braid she loves to have in her hair or how to teach her to be the best person she can be. He doesn’t know how to live without Amy, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

9. In the Night (19k)

“Papa?” Louis questions, quietly enough that he won’t wake Bridget again. “Where did she even learn that?”

“Um,” Harry breathes, staring down at Bridget’s sleeping face. He should’ve known that that was why she was asking. “I may have told her some other names for ‘dad’ when she asked me the other day,” he admits.

“Oh my god,” Louis chuckles, looking down at her.

“She’s never called me it before, though, and I didn’t even think she would,” he says, rushed.

“She wants you to be her dad so badly,” Louis whispers, the smile fading from his face. Harry glances down at Bridget, unable to help his smile at her sleeping face.

“Yeah,” he mutters, reaching up to push a piece of Bridget’s hair behind her ear. “So do I, to be honest.”

Or, the self-indulgent reversed pov and slight continuation of Come Away With Me.

10. Down the Backs of Table Tops (and Ticket Stubs in the Attic) (7k)**

There's only two of them stuck to the house now, two souls tied to the walls and floor and pipes and appliances. Two souls stuck in a world that's moved on without them. Well, two souls and a cat.

He holds up the red fabric for Harry to get a good look at."We're going to decorate!"

Harry thinks this might be an odd shut-ins version of retail therapy, and he looks to Grimmy for guidance on how to explain to Louis that this will not at all help his cause.

11. Carried Away Like Butterflies (17k)

“Actually…” Liam said, scratching his chin absently. “I have a friend who is moving to London soon.”

“Without anywhere to live? Who is it? Do I want them living in my home?!”

“You met him at my birthday party. Harry, from Cheshire. Remember? Really tight jeans, curly hair down to here?”

Realisation dawned on Louis, staring at Liam who was gesturing round about his nipples. Did he remember Harry? Did he remember Harry?

He remembered Harry’s square front teeth biting into his collarbone, and he remembered Harry moaning, loud and obscene with no provocation. He remembered Harry dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed and roughly pulling Louis closer. He remembered, vividly, Harry’s lovely plump lips wrapping around his-

“Lou?”

“Uh- what?” Louis said, startled. “Oh, yeah. Um, I think I remember him.”

—

It was probably a huge mistake for Louis to let his former One Night Stand move into his spare room, especially when said One Night Stand doesn't seem to remember him.

12. Wholehearted (77k)*

AU. When superstar singer and winner of The Voice Louis Tomlinson tweets “Nothing worse than waking up with no milk for a cuppa !! Gutted” he doesn’t expect someone to bring him some. And he really doesn’t expect that someone to have bright green eyes, long curly hair, and (fucking) dimples.

13. Tea and a Blowjob, In That Order (8k)*

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell,” Harry says primly, unfolding his napkin over his lap with an exaggerated gesture.

“Maybe not, but you’ve sure got a penchant for blabbing once you’ve had your arse beat,” Cara says.

14. Before We Evaporate (37k)*

Louis Tomlinson; executive chef and owner of his own five star restaurant, been voted one of the top chefs in London, and has won several awards for his work in the kitchen. He’s always dreamed of being on Chopped, but never believed it would actually happen. Until it does. Now that he’s officially made it onto the show, there’s one tall, curly haired distraction that might just ruin everything for him.

Or the kinda sorta enemies to lovers Chopped AU with far more smut than necessary.

15. Through Struggles, to the Stars (80k)**

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what's right.

A Star Trek-inspired AU.

16. You Really Got Me Now (6k)**

Louis is the best older brother anyone could ask for. He knows this because he's agreed to help chaperone his younger sister's school trip to Rome. As it turns out, Italy is full of surprises. Fizzy's Italian teacher is surprisingly hot, Rome is surprisingly interesting, and Louis is surprisingly falling in love with more than just the city.

17. The New Romantics (36k)*

After being blindsided and dumped by his boyfriend Isaac, Louis does the only thing he can do: wallow and mope. But when Harry tells Louis that karma’s going to get Isaac eventually, Louis decides karma isn’t moving fast enough. He takes matters into his own hands, and if he has to drag Harry into his schemes and seduction plans, then so be it.

Or a John Tucker Must Die AU featuring drunk dance sessions, bad disguises, and a seduction plan gone wrong.

18. Ain’t My Fault (6k)**

“Liam, M4M is for sex! You posted in a sex forum about your missing jacket.”

“It is not for sex!”

“It is. Trust me.”

“Well, if it helps me find my jacket then I don’t really see why it matters. Besides, someone already texted me about it. This Styles guy’s coming over in a bit to get it.”

“You invited the avocado man to come get his jacket at our flat after posting on a sex forum. Do you see where this is going?”

“I really don’t.”

“Someone is going to have to have sex with the avocado man!” Louis screeches, and Liam covers his ears.

AU. Liam posts an ad on the wrong section of Craigslist, Louis is pretty sure they’re gonna get murdered as a result, and Harry’s missing an avocado.

19. I Walk the Line (55k)**

Professor Louis Tomlinson is the leading researcher in his field. Harry Styles is Louis’ recently hired grad assistant. Sparks fly between them but something doesn’t add up when it comes to Harry, and Louis is determined to find out what.

What happens when everything Louis thought he knew comes crashing down around him? Is he doomed to repeat his past mistakes? Or will he learn to follow his heart and find a way to forge his own path, alongside someone he’s not sure he can trust, but who might just be the best thing to ever happen to him.

[hellagoodhaylor]

Ok, this will be another master post so could you do that copy and paste thing and if I run out of room and submissions just wait to post until I say POST because this will be long but good. Harry says a girl who he had a recent relationship with who had also affected him in the past couple of years has influenced a large part of his album. Now, we know the most recent relationship Harry was in was with Kendall as in the BBC interview, Harry says he hasn't dated since the beginning of February

"2)of 2016 (around the time Hendall broke up). Kendall would also fit the description as they were involved in 2013/14 and they have been friends throughout the years. But the problem is, I don't think Harry and Kendall were that much in love. And I'm not saying this because I ship Haylor but because if they were then basically every piece of Haylor proof from 2014 onwards wouldn't make sense. So I'll start in 2013 after Haylor had broken up. We have Harry and Taylor breakup but then have a small3)reunion (possibly only for hookups) in January 2013 in Cannes where they are together. They specifically aren't seen together because they don't want the public to know and articles are written about them. Then they cool off at the Brits (they are seen flirting and possibly hooking up with other people). But, by April, we have Harry missing Taylor as the boys tease him in Little Things. Throughout the rest of 2013, we have little hints of Harry missing Taylor such as assuming an interviewer4)was talking about Taylor's perfume, the VMAs, Harry's friend tweeting him WANEGBT lyrics and he says please??, and then comes November. Harry and Kendall are seen together for the first time and it can be assumed their relationship started around then. However, Harry also says in an interview (regarding exes and Taylor) that sometimes if you have feelings for an ex, it's ok to get back together with them. We also have MM come out which has Happily which Harry said he wrote about a relationship5)in which your ex is with someone else and you want them back (could be about Tay bc she said in style that she tried to get over harry with other guys but couldn't). Also about not caring what others say (the main cause of their breakup). By Taylor's birthday, Harry tweets the Winding Wheel lyrics (while dating Kendall) on Taylor's birthday as well as posts the Cannes sunset picture. While this is going on, not only is Harry dating Kendall, but he is also hanging out with Ed, Taylor, Courtney6)Cox, and Johnny McCaid in Cox's Malibu house (Courtney followed them all on the same day and she said it was really fun passing beer around and playing the guitar and this continues throughout Hendall 1.0). Gemma also hints that Harry may not like Kendall as much as everyone thinks as she tweets "trust me, Harry is putting his arm around Kendall [at the Eagles concert] to strangle her". Then in February, Taylor writes 1989 with Style being the last song she writes. Although people think7)were little more than a crush then and certainly not hooking up. Also Taylor implies that they were on and off more than once, so now would fit the timeline. This is just a theory, but I think maybe in January (detail about the man in styles is taking off his coat implying winter) Harry gave Taylor a ride home from hanging out with Ed and them and they hooked up (while he was dating Kendall yikes). We also have Taylor writing IWYW about Harry telling her that whole thing and he probably told8)her at this time because they were friends. It would also make sense that Harry gave Taylor a ride home then because they had houses really close to each other. Then Kendall and Harry breakup seemingly amicably at the end of February except Kendall likes a post saying boys are mean and to eat vegetables do squats and wear red lipstick. Also in Feb/Jan of 2014, we have Harry pinning a post on his old Pinterest (it doesn't exist anymore) about how beautiful and "vocally aweing" Taylor's10)performance of ATW at the Grammys was and how Red deserved a Grammy (thx Harry finally someone said it). Also, a fan sends him a direct with a picture of Taylor and he opens it. Anyway, Hendall breaks up and Harry, in the following month (March 2014 and throughout the rest of 2014) writes a string of songs that are almost positively about Taylor (I Love You, WDBHG, Just a Little Bit of Your Heart, Someday Maybe, Not Our Fault). Also, Harry gives I Love You to Alex and Sierra under his pen name11)which is important because at this same time, Alex and Sierra are hanging out with Taylor because Sierra posts a picture of Taylor's cat. Also, in that interview Alex and Sierra not only say that whoever wrote I Love You not only had a fling with Taylor but was also really good friends. We know for certain that throughout 2014, Harry and Taylor were friends as not only did this all happen, but Taylor also said she was "really close friends" with the person who 1989 was about in interviews as12)well as the secret sessions. It is also important to note that Harry wrote it secretly and then, when a fan met Ariana Grande recently (this may be a troll) Ariana said JALBOYH was about a secret lover of Harry's and then when another fan asked if it was Taylor she winked (COULD TAYLOR AND HARRY HAVE BEEN SECRETLY DATING IN 2014/HOOKING UP IN SECRET AS THE MEDIA WAS TOO MUCH FOR PUBLIC?). We all know what happens in 2015 but my point is this: if Hendall was that influential in 2014 none of13)this would have happened and if it was, then all of this haylor proof couldn't be true. The Hendall relationship resulted in single Kendall and Harry and Harry and Taylor writing tons of love songs about one another. If Harry really loves Kendall (and this was his longest relationship with her) then he wouldn't have hung out with ed and Taylor, wouldn't have hooked up with Taylor as style says, wouldn't have posted winding wheel lyrics, wouldn't have said he wanted to get back together with14)an ex, wouldn't have pinned a tweet about her brilliance, wouldn't have opened that direct, and overall, wouldn't have been involved with another girl (particularly his ex) while he had a girlfriend. From that relationship all we can conclude is that Harry and Taylor hooked up/were friends in 2014 and wrote songs about one another-they still had feelings for one another but one of them (Taylor) didn't want to go on). Ok, so that was the most serious Hendall round and it had little impact on15)Harry. Now for the yacht. We already knew they were friends in 2015. Can I mention though that even when they were friends then, they didn't have some secret love as who did Harry write MITAM about? Yeah not Kendall, even though he could have if she meant that much to him. So Taylor was with Calvin and we have Harry inviting Cara and Kendall to a 1D concert and then they went on the yacht and I will say they were definitely more than friends but we also have to remember that Harry signed his16)deal on the yacht and it just so happens Kendall is friends with all of those people. Ok, then by the end of January, they aren't together anymore and what does Harry do? He thinks about Taylor just as he did in 2014. He tweets 22 lyrics on his bday as well as likes an insta pic from Paige reifler. He also tweets a lyrics by Norah Jones from "Come Away With Me" about wanting a lover you can't have or want to come away to a secret place). Also, if you believe all of the hscox94/Spotify account17)account stuff, there are subtl haylor vibes. The point being: he is single. And did he have to be single, no because he didn't go away to film Dunkirk for another month or so. Then after the pictures are leaked, Harry and Kendall are seen shopping together in LA in April. Not a reunion, but simply proves they are friends-always have been probably always will be. Then, come September after Harry contributes some Haylor-like vibes to Another Man Magazine (possibly a reach but that poem and the18)Stevie Nicks thing), Kendall and Harry are seen getting lunch in LA, but Harry's team immediately confirms that they are only friends. Then it's nothing until November, when Harry, as a friend, is invited to her bday party and they take a picture together, but more importantly, a picture is taken of Kendall making out with someone with Harry right next to them on his phone. Then on New Years Kendall is seen kissing ASAP Rocky or some other guy and then they avoid each other at the KOL concert19)Since then, nothing. My point about this is: they are friends. This shouldn't come as a surprise since they have many mutual friends, and split amicably both times around, and go to each other's bday parties. Kendall is not at his 23rd though. Ok, now this is really recent, but Kendall basically confirmed she is having a friends-with-benefits type of thing with ASAP Rocky in her Harpers Bazaar article (everyone kind of suspected this already, they were seen at Coachella all touchy, and out an20)about in London--note she wasn't with Harry who was in London at the time but with ASAP). So once again, my point is they are friends. Harry may not love Taylor anymore, but it certainly wouldn't make very much sense if the girl who influenced a huge part of his album was Kendall. In 2014, he was fine cheating on her and breaking up, in 2016, he was fine ending their relationship from the yacht and being friends, and in 2016/17 he is fine seeing her kiss other guys at her party and although21)are friends, things might still be icy as they didn't talk during KOL concert. I do think, since they split amicably and are still friends, that they might/are up to getting back together in that sort of friend-like way (Harry even says he has a couple of flames left in the BBC radio--and I think Kendall is one of them). I just think that the way Harry spoke about this girl in Rolling Stones, it just doesn't fit to him and Kendall. He even said he wanted to give whomever not only a tip of the21)but the whole cap and do you really think that girl is the same girl he had no problem watching kiss some other guy or didn't talk to at a concert? If he did, I support him 100% and although I love Haylor, if it is about Hendall, that's fine as long as he is happy. Besides the point of his music-of all music- is not to speculate but to listen and enjoy. So I did this for some fun I know I'm a loser but ultimately whoever it's about it doesn't matter because I will be buying and listening POST"BLESS YOU FOR TYPING ALL OF THIS OUT AND SENDING IT TO ME! I don't even know what to say except DAMN IT I MISS HAYLOR.

[ofcara]

NETFLIX REPRESENTATIVE: “Thank you so much for speaking with us today ! First, we just need you to introduce yourself and say who you play on University.”

CARA HARRIS: “Of course ! Yeah, okay. Hi, I’m Cara Harris and I play Abigail Knight on University."

NR: "This show became so popular so fast; the pilot episode broke records on Netflix. So, how does it feel to be apart of something this successful ? Is this overwhelming for you or are you loving it ?”

CH: “It’s both. Definitely both. It’s a lot to take in, sometimes I don’t even realize how big it’s got. But, it’s the most amazing thing ever — how could I not love it. I’ve searched every where to find a job like this, it’s my dream job, and now I’ve finally found it.”

NR: “I have to ask, have you had any weird fan encounters yet ?”

CH: “Weird ? No, not so much. I do see some weird tweets on Twitter and concerning comment on Instagram, though. The fans are very dedicated, but, hey ! I can’t blame them."

NR: “What’s the best memory that you’ve made on set so far ?”

CH: “I have so many amazing memories already ! I’ve done things on set with these people that I’ll never forget and we’re not even done with season one. My favorite memories have to be when we’re all together, the whole cast, it makes me really happy.”

NR: “Oh ! What about your most embarrassing moment on set ?”

CH: “Well, I have forgot my lines and tripped and fell a few times but I have to say my most embarrassing moment was .. walking in on one of the crew members when they were using my dressing room bathroom. I didn’t know anyone was in there, okay ?! But, it’s fine. They’ll kill me when they hear me say this but it’s fine !”

NR: “And, who is a celebrity — any celebrity, dead or alive, that wish could guest star on the show ?”

CH: “If she ever sees, this she’s gonna think I’m weird but I say Ellen Degeneres ! She’s my favorite celebrity ever and I’ve been dying to meet her. She’s hysterical but also does all these good things in the world and I don’t know .. I love her, I cry every time I watch her show. Can she come in as the Dean or something after the group does something really bad on campus, please ?"

NR: “Okay, let’s talk about your character now. What is your favorite thing about them ?”

CH: “Ugh, okay. This one is kind of hard for me. Abigail is a really big part of me, you know ? I guess I love how vulnerable she is. It shows viewers how real she is. She may come off as this person who speaks her mind and nothing gets to her but deep down, she’s really scared. A lot of people can relate to that feeling and I love being able to portray this character that other people can learn from.”

NR: “Would you say you and your character are similar ?”

CH: “Uh, in some ways ? Abigail will say what she means and be done with it. Me ? I’d say I’m more of a keep to myself kind of person when it comes to my inner thoughts. Sometimes her words hurt people and I could never hurt someone. We are similar in the sense that she’s cheerful and lively. Our energies are very alike.”

NR: “What are some hopes that you have for your character in the upcoming episodes ?”

CH: “Remember, I love her, I do ! But, I want her secrets coming out ! She’s done some really bad things that I do not approve of but she needs to get what she deserves, okay ? Someone put her in her place already ! She needs to learn from her mistakes, as soon as possible ! Also, I want her to make some more friends. Girl needs someone to talk to .. so then, they can spill her secrets.”

NR: “If you could play any other characters on the show, who would you choose and why ?”

CH: “I’d probably have to say Lydia. Only because Lydia is this revenge ridden character so it’d be an excuse to be mean to people without any repercussions. Okay, not that I would want to be mean for no reason, it just looks like  a lot of fun ! No one can play Lydia better than Zoe, though, that I stand by. Who would have thought that a sweetheart like Zoe could play the most evil character ? I do give her props — that’s my talented best friend !”

NR: “We’re actually going to play a little game of Never Have I Ever to see if you are anything like the characters on the show ! I’ll say something and you say if you have or if you have never and explain it if you’d like. First one — Never Have I ever cheated on a significant other.”

CH: "Never ever ! Look, I get it. Abby is a mess. I would never, though. I could never ! We are very different with that whole .. situation."

NR: “Never Have I Ever had a one night stand.”

CH: “No, I have never ! I’m think too sensitive to have a one night stand. I wouldn’t be able to just know someone for one night and then let them go forever.”

NR: “Never Have I Ever been too shy to approach someone I found to be attractive.”

CH: “I have never ! If there’s one thing in my life that I know how to do, it’s go up to people and talk about the stupidest thing for hours — if I find them cute or not.”

NR: “Never Have I Ever not gotten along with a roommate or coworker.”

CH: “I wouldn’t say that I haven’t got along with someone but there are of course people who challenge you in a certain way. Well, you can’t be best friends with everyone is what I’m trying to say — no matter how hard you try, you know ?"

NR: “Never Have I Ever accidentally walked in on a hook up.”

CH: “I’ve been lucky enough for this to never happen to me. I’m sorry, I really have to knock on a piece of wood before I jinx myself .. do you have a piece of wood ?”

NR: “You’ve made it very clear through social media posts that you and Navid, who plays your love interest in the show, are the best of friends. So, what’s it like having to do those emotional and kissing scenes with one of your best friends ?”

CH: “Ugh ! It’s the worst ! I absolutely hate it. It’s my least favorite thing in the world to do .. he’s repulsive. Okay, I’m totally kidding ! Oh my gosh, is this even a real question ? It’s the best ! He makes it really easy .. I mean, not that easy considering we make each other laugh during the scenes where we’re supposed to be crying or something. But, we went through crazy amount of chemistry tests with other people who auditioned and it just never worked the way it did with us with anyone else ! I got lucky him !”

NR: “Do you have a lot of scenes with your on-set friends ?”

CH: “Yeah ! All my scenes are with friends on-set and off ! I have scenes coming up in the next episode with one of my closest friends and I’m really excited about it. I can’t say anything but her name rhymes with Bennon.”

NR: “Are you and any of your cast mates maybe more than friends ? Hmm, possibly you and Devin Weber ? We have seen a lot of you two together ..”

CH: “Uhm .. huh ? I’m sorry. I don’t think I understood the question. Devin is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. Ever. I .. don’t know what else to say. I love Devin ! How could anyone not love him ?”

NR: “Okay, and last thing ! Can you give us any hints on what’s to come for Abigail ?”

CH: “I can’t give away too much but let’s just say that her world is about to be turned upside down thanks to an old friend !”

NETFLIX REPRESENTATIVE: “Thank you again for coming to this ! We’re all ecstatic about how well University is doing and to all the viewers who are watching this, you can catch a new episode of University every Sunday on Netflix !”

[mialipsky-blog]

 {Interview} DIY Wedding Flowers with our 2017 Contest Winner

On September 23rd, 2017, Cara and Bret said “I do” in Lake Tahoe, CA surrounded by friends and family. Their outdoor wedding was, without a doubt, a dream! We interviewed Cara, our 2017 Win Your Wedding Flowers grand prize winner, to learn more about her planning process, her experience with FiftyFlowers and more. Whether you’re planning a wedding or other special events, you’re bound to find some inspiration in this interview.

The Planning:

Where did you get your inspiration from?

I am guilty of having Pinterest wedding envy and couldn’t take my eyes off of all of the gorgeous wedding boards! What a time to be alive and how did anyone plan weddings before Pinterest? I started by stepping back and thinking about how I wanted our wedding to feel and then I went from there after we found a gem of a venue. The biggest factors that I kept in mind were the outdoor mountain/river location and the laid-back vibe of Lake Tahoe. I created boards for different parts of our wedding and if I found a sign I liked, I’d add it to the board and brainstorm ideas how to create something similar that would work for our vision. I tried to loosely stick to a “mountain elegance” theme, but if I saw something that I wanted to incorporate, I did. I saved a LOT of money by doing things myself and really didn’t have to compromise on anything. I took projects on in small doses (one weekend of painting vases and one weekend of staining signs). Etsy and Pinterest were my go-to sites for all things wedding related. 

What inspired your color palette? 

Our venue was surrounded by mountains and a river and I really wanted to incorporate bright, bold colors to pop against the scenery. I wanted to keep things natural looking but thought that all white flowers might not stand up to the backdrop. I had to be careful not to choose colors or flowers that were too summery for a late September wedding and wanted to mix lots of shades of pinks and lavender with burgundy and creams that were appropriate for the season. Our invitation and menu cards were a gorgeous mountain and blue sky watercolor and that was the baseline for my color palette. I am so glad that I chose unconventional bold, bright colors- it was a risk that I think paid off! 

What was your favorite part of wedding planning?

Besides having a year to really celebrate this time with our family and friends leading up to the wedding, I’d have to say the flowers and the décor (centerpieces, dessert table, etc.). I loved planning the flowers and making decisions about how I wanted the tables to look and about the overall experience for everyone. I wanted people to have a fun, carefree time and enjoy the beauty of Lake Tahoe. My husband’s stepdad handmade trivets for the centerpieces from a walnut tree on the property and jarred honey from his bees for our favors. He also made our wedding arbor! I handmade the welcome, seating assignment and bar signs. I love that everything about our wedding had a personal touch and a story. I had a part in designing every piece of the wedding and it didn’t go unnoticed with our guests; everyone had a blast and loved all of the details. My friends all joke that I should have a side business doing wedding flower design after this experience!

How did you find out about FiftyFlowers/the Win Your Wedding Flowers Contest?

When I decided that I was going to do my own flowers, I did some research on the best online flower company and came across a few options. FiftyFlowers had hands down the most variety to choose from and the reviews were honest and helpful. I didn’t feel like my only options were roses or carnations and was so happy to see flowers that I’d never even heard of! Where have peony roses been all of my life? The flower stories and “make this look” on the website were really helpful for inspiration as well and if you want to simplify things, you can copy another wedding with the exact flower recipe- it doesn’t have to be time-consuming. It showed me that DIYing your flowers has been done by many amazing brides and I could do it too and this company made it so easy. This is so far beyond homemade looking flowers- these weddings on the FiftyFlowers website are incredible and complex and nothing about the flowers look homemade. I found out about the contest from the website and couldn’t wait to enter once we received our photos back. I am an avid online reviewer and rely on other peoples’ reviews when making decisions about things, so I’m always excited and happy to give my opinion and experience (good or bad) if it can help someone else.

Advice:

What advice would you give to those who are too afraid of ordering flowers online? 

Trust me, I know it can be scary, especially for the brides who need to have control over every piece of the wedding planning process, but that is the best thing about FiftyFlowers- I felt like I could choose every single flower and control exactly how I wanted it all to look. I had support and help along the way and never felt like I was going into it blind. I was so worried that a florist wouldn’t be able to completely capture my vision and even if they could, it would come at a steep price to get everything that I wanted. Have a plan, be as prepared as possible- think it through and double check your flower plan before you order. I had room for error, assumed that some flowers would break or not open up so I accounted for possible issues. Build in extra time into your flower arranging day- it will take longer than you think. Recruit a team of family and friends because people will be more than happy to help you- it was such a fun morning for my mom, mother in law, aunt and a few family friends to spend time together before the craziness of the wedding weekend began. Don’t let it overwhelm you and don’t doubt yourself, that is the biggest piece of advice. Flowers are beautiful no matter what and you can’t really mess them up! You’re the only one who knows how they are “supposed” to look.

You mentioned you used the resources we had to offer. Did you know about our free consultations with Violet? 

I did! She helped me bring my vision to life. I had about 40 kinds of flowers on my ‘favorites’ and I had to narrow it down. Violet gave me some great ideas about what kinds of flowers to look into and the biggest bang for my buck to accomplish this bold, bright look. Of course, everyone wants peonies, but depending on the time of year, they can be out of season and unavailable and there are so many other options that achieve the same look (hello a million varieties of garden roses- I think I used five kinds!). She described the filler flowers I was going between and helped me choose the right one based on what I’d be using it for. It can sometimes be hard to know the quantities you will need, and she was very willing to help figure that out as well. It was so helpful to be able to talk to someone who knew so much about flowers prior to making any decisions. It really helped me feel secure about my choices and gave me the confidence to know that I could DIY the flowers.

What did you like about our chat feature? 

The chat feature saved my life throughout this process! I planned out the variety and quantities of all of my flowers and added them to my favorites long before I ordered them just to make sure that I had everything accounted for and was comfortable with my decision. I would think of a random question, even before I ordered the flowers, and was able to hop on the chat feature and talk to someone on the team instantly. Every single person was so friendly and helpful and never made me feel silly for asking so many questions (I was practically on a first name basis from asking so many questions). I was going between 2 very similar types of burgundy flowers and they gave me some great advice about which flower to choose based on what I was using it for and how many came in a pack. They really put my mind at ease and were a great source of guidance from pre-planning through the flower delivery. 

What would you have done differently?

The morning of the wedding was such a blur for me and so much was going on. I had so many emotions and my nerves were high and I wasn’t very relaxed. I wish I’d have timed my day out a little better so that I wasn’t rushing to get dressed and finish the final details and taken the time to really be in the moment. It is so, so important to step back and not worry about the last minute details that won’t matter, but really enjoy every moment of the day because it does go by too fast.

Memorable Moments:

What was the most memorable moment?

Walking down the aisle with my dad, and seeing Bret for the first time (we didn’t do a first look and I don’t regret it!). It was so special to see all of our family and friends smiling back at us and then see Bret for the first time and feel all of those intense emotions come over you all at once. I was so nervous but as soon as I saw Bret, everything slowed down and became real and I was able to be present and enjoy every minute of the ceremony.

Tell us about the proposal/engagement story! 

We went to Maui last summer with my family, our usual family summer trip, and I had a suspicion that the proposal was coming, but tried not to think about it so that I didn’t drive myself crazy all week! We had a great first few days in Maui and it is a tradition that every night, we take a bottle of wine down to the beach to watch the sunset before getting ready for dinner. On our third day, I had finally gotten into vacation mode and everyone seemed to be acting pretty normal and enjoying themselves. We headed down to watch the amazing sunset, our nightly ritual. Bret suggested that we take a walk along the beach, but I was holding a wine glass and being the rule follower that I am, said we shouldn’t do that because you aren’t supposed to have glass on the beach and I certainly was not going to leave my wine behind. My dad (who was in on this) told me that its unlikely I’ll be arrested by the beach police for holding a glass, so off we went. Bret was walking SO slow and I kept pulling him along, wanting him to speed up to get to wherever we were walking to. We got a little ways down the beach and I turned around for a moment and saw my family walking closely behind us holding cameras and by the time it hit me and I turned back around, Bret was on one knee. It was such a sweet and special moment and I’m so grateful that my whole family was there to celebrate with us.  

Want to recreate her wedding flowers?! Check out her Make This Look! Also, click here to see her Flower Story.

Vendor Team:

Photographer: Elisabeth Arin Dress Designer: Maggie Sottero (from Miosa Bridal in Sacramento, CA) Caterer: River Ranch Lodge Event Planner: Bride Groom Attire: The Black Tux Band: Lake Dj

 {Interview} DIY Wedding Flowers with our 2017 Contest Winner published first on their blog to my feed

[jonjost]

Cara Clarinha,

Last week I was in Seattle, a big and interesting city, there to do a bit of final mixing on Pequenos Milagres, and to record some music for another piece.   The mix went well and it is now, with the voice over, much more audible.  Thanks to friend Steve Peters for that.  And then recorded some music for the Yellowstone Canyon film, cello played by Lori Goldston, with a bit of there/gone feedback included.  Likely that music will wander into other things as well.

While there visited the Henry Gallery, a museum connected with the university and saw a few exhibitions, one a sprawling one filling the entire floor with what I think of as an academic art of the sort that exists only because art schools and critics exist.  Utterly forgettable, a kind of literature never meant to be read.

And then another woman, Cecilia Vicuña, working in Chile and New York.  Her work was interesting and “fun”, and reminded me of Paul Klee and Alexander Calder – playful, not serious.  Many of her pieces were very small.  I like these kinds of things, though I do not consider them “art” but more in the world of design or graphics.  Pleasurable, but nothing that cuts deep into the soul.

  She also had a hanging work, with long pieces of cloth in a circle, going up 5 meters or so.  Like the small pieces, it was pleasant and enticing, but craft, not art.

I also stopped by the James Turrell Sky Room at the museum:

After four days I returned on the ferry and bus, back to Port Angeles, back to Carver country” to ponder a bit more on that.  I visited his grave again and shot more pages of the little book there.  And thought some more.

  And on getting back had a most wonderful meal – the best lamb I have ever had – cooked by Steve, whose place I am staying at.  Before going to Seattle I had trimmed his 3 meter high hedges, up on a ladder with an electric chainsaw, working out my muscles in a manner which I hadn’t done in a while.  There was other yard work done, and now my body is sore – a good kind of soreness though.  And feeling not bad for 76 years.

While in Seattle I brought to a close the original reason for my journey back to the USA, the proposal to make a film here with certain promises made, but over the summer it was already clear that things would not unfold in the way described, and I decided to bring it to a stop.  I had come to America knowing that could happen as easily as not, so I am not bothered by it at all.  Instead I’ll try to make another film with Steve in Port Angeles, centered around his work as a mental health therapist.  And work with other things already shot, some many years ago, some new.

Still nothing really firm on other possible things, though both the Kolkata workshop and the Cuban one are looking likely.  Like all these things they can disappear in a moment. Meantime I wait and am patient.

  On the sidewalk near an elementary school in Port Angeles a walk from where I stay.

In Portland now for the weekend and then return to Port Angeles where I will be alone for 10 days, and hope to try again to paint again, as well as work on editing and other things – photography projects, video things, and music.

Oh – a big surprise !  I have been asked to sing my country-western/folk songs at next summer’s Ravenna music festival!  I need to have 10 songs down well, which should be no problem.  And the albums recorded with Christian Ravaglioli should be released soon, or so he tells me.  Though soon in Italy (like Portugal) can be a long time !

And that is my news of the moment.  I hope school is going well, and that you are happy with friends and Tiago.  And of course I hope to hear from you, but again, I am patient.

Amo-te, Clarinha !

Teu pai

jon

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