#AND they're already stressed too so they're extra mean all the time :) And we're always understaffed

[abrushwithdeath]

((Today is my only day off until Thursday (I also have Friday off!) but I won’t be around a lot. I’ll be away from my laptop most of the day and when I get home I have to shower, eat dinner, and etc before I get to bed because I have to be up early tomorrow for work oTL

That said, as a reminder- I work retail and the worst part of the holiday season starts this weekend. Our hours change, so I’ll have some 6am shifts or pull late shifts, AND we have consistent snow already which is only gonna get worse from here so, ya know, coupled with work stress, my mood is gonna be off a lot more, too ^^;  So my activity is gonna be kind of all over the place until January when things calm back down a little. 

That said- I love you guys and I hope you’re all doing well! <3 I’ll try to be around a  little bit later tonight, but no promises ^^;))

[mouwrites]

Ninjas x reader?

So basically readers dad/mom/wtv is a ex military Sargent who's very overprotective and intimidating. And the ninjas are meeting them for the first time how would they react?

Ooh, I actually like that idea,,, "ex-military parent" is a trope that needs to be used more often tbh

Ninjago - Ninjas When Your Parent is Ex-Military

Cole

He'd be super nervous, but he'd totally ace the first impression

And literally every impression after that

I feel like Cole is just the kind of guy your parents would always love, whether they're strict or laid back, grumpy or cheery—they are going to love him

Maybe it's because he always shows respect

And it's no exception with your parent; if anything, he's extra respectful

Definitely calls them "sir" or "ma'am"

(Honestly he probably does this anyway at first, but he'll do it more consistently with your parent)

Whenever they get all protective over you, he somehow manages to quell their worries without stepping on their toes

Like, if your parent says:

"You know, when we're in public Y/n never leaves my sight."

He'll smile and say:

"That's what I try to do, too. I like to know they're safe."

This technique never fails to satisfy and impress your parent

He seems pretty calm and pleasant when around your parent, and while this is forced at first, it becomes more natural over time

Mostly because your parent starts to relax around him too, easing up on the intimidating glares and snide comments intended as "tests"

Soon enough your parent is actually asking you when you're bringing him home next!

"When are you bringing that Cole boy around again? He's a good kid."

Jay

He is absolutely TERRIFIED to meet your parent when he finds out they're ex-military

He keeps putting off the meeting; little does he know this is making your parent suspicious of him already

You literally have to beg him to meet them, if not for your sake, then for his own

Because you know that the longer he keeps making excuses, the more your parent is going to be biased against him

So when he finally agrees, it's a big relief for you

Not so much for him; he spends every second leading up to the meeting stressing out

What's he gonna wear? What's he gonna say? How should he stand? What if he gets fidgety?

Then it happens: he meets your parent

And he fumbles so hard D:

His bumbling nervousness (which is NOT helped by your parent's intentionally intimidating demeanor) makes him come off as a wuss, which your parent doesn't like

They think Jay can't protect you, which is, like, their #1 requirement for any partner you have

So they totally disapprove of him

That is, until they see him on the news

He somehow failed to mention on your first meeting that he was a ninja; a ninja with powers, no less

So your parent sees him on the news one night, and immediately calls you over

"Is that your boyfriend on the news? Oh my! Did you just see that?? Good gravy!"

"Does this mean you don't hate him now?"

"Hate him? How could I? This kid could take me in a fight! Hell, bring him around again; I've gotta apologize before he comes after me, hah!"

Kai

From what you said about Kai to your parent before they met him, they assumed he was sort of a bad boy

Which they didn't like. At all.

So when they ask you to bring him home, it's almost like a challenge

And that's certainly how Kai sees it; a challenge to prove his worth

So he trains for it

He works out extra hard, practices his smile in the mirror, tests different greetings

It's silly, but you know that he's probably going to need the practice, what with your parent... being like they are

The practice gives him an air of confidence that actually ends up putting your parent off

Everything else was fine; the handshake, calling them "sir/ma'am," asking polite questions...

It was just that smirk, that total lack of nervousness that put a (deeper than usual) scowl on your parent's face

It wasn't that Kai wasn't nervous; he was just hiding it to seem tough

Eventually he starts to break, and his anxiety finally shines through

Your parent realizes that everything he's been doing has been for them, and he wasn't really like that all the time

And then they're just a little impressed; not much, but just enough so that they don't totally hate him

It'll take time for them to warm up to him, and honestly it'll probably take a bit for Kai to warm up to them, too

Your parent will sort of see themselves in Kai: a fiery young person eager for a fight

And from there they'll be besties tbh; they can relate to each other, and they enjoy testing each other's fierceness

Zane

I don't actually think that Zane will be nervous about your parent being ex-military

If he's feeling any anxiety, it's about meeting your parent in general

He doesn't know why them being ex-military would change things; veteran or not, he needs them to like him

But it does give him a hint on how to please them

He spends a lot of time researching the military, trying to come up with topics to discuss

He's also just trying to understand them better

So when you finally meet, he's almost too perfect in the way he conducts himself

He's quite naturally respectful and pleasant, but it's his knowledge about the military that really gets your parent

The questions he asks are so specific that each one makes your parent's brows jump up for half a second in surprise

They're more than happy to answer the question, of course; they're just impressed that he knew to ask

And when he leaves your parent is actually the one asking if he'd like to come over again

Tbh they just want to answer more of his questions

Needless to say, they end up liking him a lot; not as your boyfriend, but as a "nice young man"

It's only after the first meeting that they let the idea that this "nice young man" is your boyfriend set in

The change is visible on their face; they just blink with owlish eyes for a second before clapping you on the shoulder with a grin

"You picked a good one, Y/n! He sure knows his stuff!"

And the more he comes around, the more little details your parent learns to like, from his mannerisms to his personality

They don't even care that he's a robot

He's as human to them as anyone :)

Lloyd

He's pretty scared to meet your parent

His experience with parents was definitely... different

He has no idea what to expect when you tell him that your parent is strict/protective

His parents were about as present in his life as strawberries in an apple pie, so he doesn't really have a sense of what real parenting is like

So just add that to the fact that your parent is like the final boss of seeking parent approval

No matter how much you tell him to just be himself, he's convinced that he needs to act a specific way

He has no idea what that "way" is, but he's certain it exists

Unfortunately he doesn't figure it out by the time he's on your porch knocking on the door

So he's forced to follow your advice

His pleasant, agreeable nature does little to impress your parent

It's not that they don't like him, they just think he's a little... plain

But then they see how he treats you

Lloyd didn't know if showing affection for you was against this obscure idea of "ways to act around parents," but he did it anyway

He was as respectful ever in showing his admiration for you

He called you beautiful and kissed your hand, pulled your chair out for you at the dinner table and everything

He was a total gentleman, as always

This is what got your parent to like him

He wasn't just this plain blonde boy who "fooled" you into dating him; suddenly he was a dazzling gentleman with impeccable manners

This impression might've been a bit exaggerated

I mean, Lloyd is just naturally nice like that; he's not trying to be this "perfect" character

But ultimately that's how your parent sees him, which is better than a bad impression (I guess?)

Nya

She's not scared of your parent

No matter how much they might try to intimidate her, she's unflinching in her demeanor around them

Much like Zane, any anxiety she's feeling is because they're your parent, not because they're ex-military

But I don't think she has any reason to worry

She has a strong personality, with brains, brawn, and that fearless air about her

Your parent is impressed at the way she doesn't even seem to notice their glares

She just keeps smiling her little smile, asking another question to get to know your parent or answering their questions

At first your parent is a little irked by the way they can't seem to get to her, but the more she talks the more they realize that there's a reason behind this

She's a genuine toughie; she's seen enough that she's not scared of much anymore

And that's when your parent decides that they like her

I guess they sort of see themself in her

But they also like the fact that, because she's tough like that, she can protect you

And, just as importantly, she can protect herself

To your parent that means that not only is she going to take care of you, but she's going to take care of herself so that she can always be there for you

So they sort of drop the intimidation tactics

Not all the way, just because that's how they are when it comes to you

Just enough to show Nya that they're warming up to her

And she's totally ecstatic about that!

She knows family is important to you, so to be accepted by your parent is fantastic :D

Thank you for this request!! And thanks for reading, take care doves <33

(divider by saradika)

[amethystina]

I was casually rereading whtd, as one does, and reading the comments (because i love the extra insight you give about the information that we're limited to in Ga On's pov) when i stumbled upon this comment: "… sort everything out? (and no one dies along the way, hopefully) He'll be very happy for them." about lawyer Ko and that in combination with the "minor character death tag" has made me Extremele worried about him. (plus you have also said that the kidnapping tag is not the one we should be worried about!!) I know you probably can't say anything about this because of spoilers, but know that it has been noted!!

Also kind of want a scene wherein lawyer Ko, Yo Han and Ga On are all together. Their dynamic would be so exquisite!! (obviously no pressure to actually write this, just a thought)

Anyway, whtd remains so good even after already having read and reread it in its entirety at least 5 times (and some scenes/chapters much more than that) (my ao3 history says i've visited whtd 200 times… so uh. yeah. i'm normal). I love slow burn so much (to the point where most romance book leave me disappointed bc they MCs get together like 100 pages in), i just love reading/watching the build up of a relationship and you write it so well!

I guess i just wanted to thank you for writing! I hope you're doing well <3

I'm usually very careful not to spoil what's going to happen in future chapters but I'll make an exception this time and flat-out say that you don't have to worry — Lawyer Ko is not going to die. I would literally never forgive myself if I killed him xD Not to mention that you all would probably come for my head if I did. He's just too amazing to be killed off!

So, rest assured, he's not going to die :)

And there will be at least one scene with Ga On, Yo Han, and Lawyer Ko in the same room unless my plans change dramatically. Which they rarely do, but "rarely" isn't the same as "never" so we'll see. Truth be told, though, I'll probably try really hard to keep it because I totally agree — the dynamic would be SPECTACULAR. So yeah. Stay tuned for that, I guess? ;)

You've definitely read Who Holds the Devil more times than I have x'D At least in its entirety. I mean, I reread the chapters at least twice (often three or four times) but I rarely start from the beginning and read it all the way through. I did at the end of my long break last year to get back into the swing of it, but it's difficult to find the time for that since I always have to focus on the next chapter. Which is a bit stressful at times, I will admit, since it puts more pressure on me to remember things at the top of my head (or at least know where to look if I want to check any details) but I'm lucky enough to be blessed with a really good memory, so that helps.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're enjoying it 💜 I honestly didn't plan for the slow burn to be quite this slow when I started the fic, but I can't say I have any regrets. Much like you, I just enjoy it too much ;) There's something so incredibly satisfying about delving this deep into Ga On and Yo Han's feelings and slowly developing relationship. And I guess that's also why I can't help throwing out tidbits of information in the comments, since there's usually so, so much happening within this story that you readers don't see (especially within Yo Han's head).

And I'm still not sure how to handle the knowledge that some people read the comments specifically to find those tidbits. Like, I don't mind you doing so! Go right ahead! They're public and all that. But it kind of blows my mind that some of you are so interested in what I'm writing that you'll do that. It feels a bit surreal to me, but in a good way? Like I'm an ACTUAL writer or something xD

Anyway, thank you so much for this kind and supportive message 💜 I definitely needed it right now because things honestly aren't all that great. Partly because of overall exhaustion and restlessness — mostly due to work — but even more so since it's now been a month since I posted a chapter and the requests for me to please update soon are starting to come in. I swear, it happens like clockwork every time I don't post within a month. And, what makes it worse, is that it's often from people I don't see comments from when I actually DO upload more frequently. As in, they don't comment on the fic itself, only when they think I don't update fast enough. Which is pretty disheartening, not going to lie.

Tragically enough, once the month mark passes, I have to start bracing myself whenever I get a comment or ask because there's now a 50/50 chance that it'll be someone asking me to update soon. They usually try to be nice about it, but it kind of always fails.

So, again, thank you for this. Because while I know that I should take my time and update on my own schedule, it's not always easy to remember that when people start asking me why it's taking so long. This was a nice change of pace and I'm very grateful for your kindness. Thank you 💜

[ramblingdisaster73]

The wedding planning sneak peak yesterday gave me lots of feelings! I'm super excited! I'm already sure I'm going to enjoy it a lot from beginning to end!

But as much as seeing Carlos all stressed out is gonna be fun, I'm a little concerned about it too. I need to see him be happy, at least for a bit, about this journey, and to see him actually together and 'a team' with TK, since we haven't actually SEEN that since before the kidnapping. I need a sweet moment between them and Carlos to smile for real at least once. I hope we're getting that either at the start of the episode or at the end when things with the parentzillas have calmed down and before shit hits the fan with Marjan (assuming they're gonna realize something's wrong with her in this episode).

I think the lunch scene may have some potential for at least some of what I'm looking for. I also hope we're getting the beginning of Carlos unravelling his need for control, even though I think this is not the right setting for it to be actually solved or at least delved into more.

One last thing, what is your opinion on the tuxes? What do you think would suit them?

When Nancy started downing her drink – I was like, you know what – not a bad idea. I will be joining her in drinking my way through tonight’s episode (and by drinking my way through it, I mean I will have a wine cooler since that is about all my tolerance can handle these days). Paul lived through a brief convo with Owen about the Tarlos wedding and said “I’m out, I will be over by myself reading at a safe distance from anything resembling a wedding – Mateo and Nancy were bribed with Champagne or sparkling cider (or at least Nancy was – Mateo lives for Owen’s antics).

I need to see Carlos look like he WANTS to get married. I know that wedding planning and getting divorced and recovering from a drugging/kidnapping is a ton of stress. But – at some point, you should look like you actually want to do what you are planning on. What you are subjecting yourself to so much additional anxiety for. It wouldn’t take much – just a genuine smile, one that isn’t tinged with unease. That’s all, I am pretty easy that way. I don’t doubt their love or relationship – I just want them to show us Carlos being happy for more than 2 seconds before or after a crisis or admission. They have shown us a lot of drama for them already this season – can we see them truly happy for 1 scene before their wedding? They make a good team – just show us that they are happy too. Even the stills in the loft when they are talking to Andrea look more like they are pitted against each other than on the same side, which I think is more of a blocking/staging thing than anything else because we know that TK says his father has gone insane – but still gives the illusion of them not being a team.

I would have loved for the wedding/wedding planning to be about the characters that are getting married, not their parents. Maybe we will get that after this episode – but I am keeping my expectations on the Tarlos wedding being truly about Tarlos very low as of this minute (this could easily change after seeing tonight’s episode).

Unfortunately, it happens all the time. I have had countless meetings with Brides and Grooms where they just need someone to vent to about how controlling and ‘helpful’ their parents are being. I always try to remind them that their wedding is about them, not their parents while knowing when to pick your battles.

Most parents (in my experience) do things out of love and wanting things to be perfect for their child’s ‘big day’ (Which is where I think both Owen and Andrea are at) and others want to make the wedding about themselves (which is super weird to me). But, they aren’t truly ‘helping’ if they are making the entire experience more miserable than necessary for their children. Most of the worst weddings that I have worked in any capacity have been with parentzillas – all but like 1.

I also think that Owen feels a little extra pressure (self-imposed, but extra all the same) to make TK’s wedding perfect because Gwyn can’t be there in person (I do think that they will find some way to incorporate her though – I wrote a fic about this exact thing with them reading a letter that Gwyn had sent to Andrea). I think being TK’s surviving parent is something that Owen does take seriously when it comes to the emotional stuff (not so much with work related stuff – but since they are first responders – it makes sense), or the ‘big moments’ that she will be missing. One thing that I have never doubted when it came to Owen & TK was that Owen loves his son deeply, he may not always make choices that show that clearly, but he does love and want the best for his son.

I think that wedding planning while mentally recovering from the kidnapping would be an excellent way/time to show Carlos that he doesn’t always have to be in control – that other people can take some of the load too (Which is kinda what Owen learned in 4x06) it is easier to share the load and be honest with what you need than to try to be the one to keep it all together. I am hoping that they go in that direction with Carlos – but not sure if they will go there yet.

This season has done a great job of showing us the saying “You marry your parent” is very true for TK. Not that Carlos and Owen are the same person, but at their cores, they have a lot of similarities, #1 being their total love for Tyler Kennedy Strand.

I hope that by the end of the episode tonight we get both parents realizing that their sons are perfectly capable of choosing their tuxes, centerpieces, etc. – but would welcome their input/assistance.

TK and Carlos would both absolutely want their parents to be involved in the planning of their weddings – this makes sense for both men. Carlos has always wanted a closer relationship with his parents, one where they were involved in all aspects of his life – not just the easy ones. TK literally became a firefighter to be closer to his father, so obviously he would want Owen involved. But at the end of the day, they know that it is still TK & CARLOS’ wedding. That is what I would absolutely love to see (while having a maybe 10% chance of it happening).

I am wondering how much of Marjan we will be seeing tonight. I originally thought it would be more at the end to set up 4x09, but I have been rethinking that she might be in a lot more than I thought. Which is weird since the article that came out after 4x05 said when we saw her again it was basically a whole mini Marj movie episode (which is why I had thought she would only minimally be in this ep & they like to be misleading).

I do think that there will be a lot of humor this episode (and potentially a death at a rescue – I am getting dad dies at the scene vibes, but would be happy to be wrong). I am sure that the cast will be killing us with their facial reactions – Ronen & Rafa are amazing with this. I wonder if the lunch scene will be before or after the tux scene – either way I can’t wait.

For their tuxes – I am a believer in wearing what fits you (your personality & body). My wedding dress was purple (I don’t mean it had purple accents – it was purple) which is my favorite color. I see TK in something a little less traditional, BUT – I do think that the romantic that TK is, would also love going traditional if that was what Carlos wanted. Carlos is very much more traditional than TK, and I think the black & white tux fit him & his character well – but I can also see him going with something a little bit less simple.

While TK still regularly wears his loud button downs, he wears more solid colors than he used to (kind of like he didn’t need to be so loud as he became settled in life) while Carlos has branched out to 30 snap button downs in every color. They have been embracing elements of each other’s styles over the course of the seasons, but I think that this season shows us this the most.

I do wonder if the tuxes we see in this ep are the final ones, because if so, why show them to us now? So, they may end up with something a little more modern / less classical. But then thinking that makes me think of this batshit timeline, which makes me think that they already bought or rented these tuxes. With rentals, you only get them a couple of days before the event – so in both cases it would seem like these tuxes are final.?!

[deceasedream69]

Hey! Reqesting a Five H. x Harrington!Fem!Reader.

Anything is good, but i would love a fic where Five meets the reader's friends and brother, and he's all stressed bc of the approval of their relationship means a lot ot the reader so it means, it means a lot to five as well.

Meeting the fam

- "this is stupid", he said fixing his tie.

- "If it's so stupid why do you care so much about your appearance?", I turned to look at how he fixed his outfit.

- "presentation is always important. For both of us, come here", he said putting a strand of my hair behind my ear and kissing my cheek.

- "you're not going to bribe me into cancelling tonight"

- "I tried", he said walking faster.

We reached the restaurant, my siblings talking and drinking already.

I took five's hand before entering.

- "don't be nervous, they're really chill. And sometimes a little bit... Too much, just don't fight with them, please?"

He just stared at me.

- "pretty please?", I smiled awkwardly

- "I... I'll try", he said smiling.

We entered and went directly to the table, greeting everyone.

- "this is my boyfriend, Five", i nudge his arm and he smiled... Awkwardly but extra points for at least trying.

- "so, where's the rest of him?", Said my younger sister, she was like that with everyone.

I saw five get serious.

- "and where's your WHOLE partner?", I asked taking one of the glasses on the table.

The rest of my siblings laughed. Including Five.

- "nice to see you again after so long", replied my sister.

- "nice to see you haven't changed a bit", I said standing up to hug her.

After the whole apocalypse thing, twice, we haven't really talked. And they didn't exist in 1963 so...

- "and I also wanted you to meet my boyfriend", said my older brother.

We welcomed him too, he wasn't safe from my sister's jokes either.

The night was not so bad. Sometimes Five would grab my hand under the table, or put his hand on my thigh. Which let me know that he was a little nervous, but I always offered him a smile and hold his hand back to make him calm.

It worked most of the times. Until the last part.

- "I mean, you really want us to believe that you, I mean, you", said my little sister pointing at Five and me. "Saved the world in a year when we couldn't be there to check it was true. Interesting"

Five glared at her.

- "you? We don't need you to believe", I said taking Five's hand under the table.

- "I mean, I know we're all thinking it", she said turning to look at our two brothers and my older brother's partner.

- "not really", said my brother y/b/n, he was a year older the me, and two years younger than my older brother.

- "right, this was a wonderful dinner, but I'm afraid we should get going, right angel?", Said Five turning to look at me.

- "sure", I said smiling at him.

He took my hand and after paying our part we leaved the restaurant, but not in a normal way, Five turned to look at my sister and teleported us out of the restaurant. I could feel five's breathing going back to normal.

- "well that was interesting", he said putting his arm around my shoulder.

- "I'm sorry for my sister", I said laying my head on his shoulder.

- "she seemed very interesting, a little jealous maybe"

I laughed.

- "yeah... She's never had anything good happening in her life... I kinda feel sad for her"

- "besides, I have to thank your brothers, if it wasn't for tonight's dinner I wouldn't seen you in such a pretty dress", he said smirking.

- "I could say the same about your suit but, you know, I always have that privilege" i kissed his cheek.

The end.

A/n: I don't know wtf I just wrote. I kind of zone out while my hands move lmaooo, but if you want me to make another on or change something let me know xo

[amoristt]

Just a Dare | Nathan Prescott x Reader

@trueloveknifefight asked, Also can I request Nathan asking you out?

here u are! i love writing convos w nathan UGH i adore his character.

as always, replies and reblogs are greatly appreciated1 i check all tags and comments <3

wanna support me for just $3? here's my ko-fi!

The lights were bright, vivid. Almost blinding. They dance LED accents into the reflection of your drink- a dull plastic cup filled to the brim with one part whiskey, zero parts mixer. The taste could bring a tear to your eye but you would be damned to water down such fine alcohol, provided by none other than Nathan Prescott himself.

Music reverberated along the pool rooms walls, laughter and hollers distantly rising with the tempos. Your foot absently tapped to the beat- you were never one for dancing. Never one for parties, either, actually, favoring drinking in the solitude of a small friend group.

If not for Nathan you wouldn't be here at all. Some would say it's a privilege to slip past those heavy doors, entering the dully lit world of the Vortex Club. You mostly just felt like it was all for show. Somehow securing a place among Nathan's friend group, and a good friend at that, it was almost duty to show up. He insisted on it.

So, here you were. Leaning against a wall in a suffocatingly warm, cramped pool room surrounded by a sea of faces you hardly recognized.

That was, until you saw Nathan's face peer through the small break in shifting bodies. You knew him all too well.

Strikingly handsome, equally strikingly pompous. Funny, crude, an absent minded party goer just as much as he was a fireball with racing, incoherent thoughts. A drinker, a druggie. Takes the edge off, he says, but you think he does it to take away his thoughts completely. You felt like his entire life was all edges, never sacred ground.

The poor bastard.

He lures your attention in as he saunters over with squared shoulders, narrowly avoiding spilling his drink when a random student cuts it a little too close. Normally Nathan would make a bigger deal, give him what for, but this time he just shoots the poor kid a menacing glare and grumbles, 'fucking watch it'. He's walking with purpose and intent, you can see it on his face. You must have a target on your forehead as he darts straight over.

When he comes to your side, his own alcohol dripping down the sides of his cup onto his wiry fingers, you raise a brow.

"Something wrong?" You ask, as he takes a spot leaning against the hard wall right next to you.

"Just wondering why you're being so fucking lame over here," He shouts over the music, taking a sip of his drink, grimacing at the taste. "We're all having a good time over at the lounge and you're over here acting like all the other wallflower nobodies."

You roll your eyes with upturning lips. "Maybe I like being a wallflower. I like people watching. I see things no one else does."

"Yeah, okay, fucking weirdo."

"I mean it," You push off the wall and grin. "Look-" You point to a student obviously wasted, drink held high over head while he lets the music take him away. "That guy is clearly trashed- he's having the time of his life. He's gotta be seeing double."

Nathan whistles at his state, taking in the guys goofy smile, half lidded eyes. "I'll bet it's the triplets. I could breathe on him too hard and he'd fall over."

"You should go try it." You tease. He shakes his head and takes another drink.

"Nah, he'll get it himself. Guarantee we'll be dragging him out by his feet by the end of the night." He shrugs. "Or, at least someone will. I sure as fuck ain't staying that long."

You snicker. "What, got a hot date?" Nathan glares at you. "Oh don't tell me," you cup your hands to whisper, a secretive gesture, "homework?"

"Fuck no," He scoffs, and you can just barely see that he's a little more than tipsy now. His pale cheeks dusted with red, the tip of his nose ruby under the harsh lighting. It's also then that you realize he's a little more tense than usual, even despite the drinking. He's standing straight upright, his right hand gripping his cup like a crutch and his left now shoved hastily into his pocket.

He hasn't looked at you dead in the eyes yet.

"So what is it then?" You ask curiously. He shrugs and stares into his cup. You frown. "Bro, are you like, good right now? Do you wanna leave?"

For the first time since he'd wandered over, Nathan looks up at you. His eyes are unreadable, but his composure seems stressed. He shrugs again. Before you can even open your mouth to ask him about his state, he sighs and downs an entire mouthful of burning whiskey. It makes you cringe just watching him.

"Fuck it," He huffs. "Look I got some stupid ass dare to come over here and put the moves on you, okay." He sounds almost annoyed, like it's a hassle for him, or maybe embarrassing. You cross your arms. "I was dared to come over here and try to get you like, to fucking, you know, leave with me, but now that I'm over here I'm starting to think maybe that was a dumbass idea."

"Leave with you?" You say incredulously, a brow already lifting. "You were dared to come over here and try to sleep with me? By our friends?"

"No, no, fuck," Nathan seems agitated now, rushing. "Like a date sorta bullshit. Ask you out." He manages to get it out in almost the worst delivery possible, meanwhile you're just trying to pick out who would put him up to this. Hayden? Victoria?

A laugh forces its way out of you. "Aren't we a little too old for that game?"

Nathan shrugs. "That's what I said but they insisted. Fucking babies. At least make the dare a little more fun than just asking some bitch out. That's like elementary level shit."

Your eyes widen, you scoff. "Excuse me?"

Nathan sputters. "You're not some bitch, I didn't mean to-... Fucks sake, I'm clearly a little drunk right now okay, if you could cut me some fucking slack that'd be awesome."

"Hey man I didn't ask to be a victim of bullying," You tease, and he can't help but laugh. You soften. "Never expected it from you, though of all people. As ironic as that sounds."

"I'm not even bullying you, come on. Don't be a bitch. I even admitted it and everything."

You grin. "Yeah. Gotta say though, I'm a little disappointed."

"Oh what, you wanted to see my moves?" Nathan hums. "You wanted some Prescott action?"

"Shut the hell up." You shove his shoulder, an action that would be a mistake to so many others, but for you, it was welcomed. "I'm disappointed that it was just a dare. I'd probably have said yes if it wasn't. But, oh well."

Nathan doesn't answer for a long moment. First, he stares into his drink, processing. Almost like he hadn't heard that right, or like you were messing with him. It's rare to see Nathan Prescott stunned into a momentary silence. He's thinking, wondering what he should say next. Suspicious that you're just playing with him, hopeful that maybe you aren't.

And, you hadn't been. Truth be told if given the chance you would allow him to take you out for the evening. Show you fancy things, try out something a little more intimate than just laughter and poking fun at classmates together. You enjoyed his presence, looked forward to it at times.

A small part of you had hoped that he felt the same, maybe. Somehow. While grateful that he respected you enough to cut the crap before it even began, you couldn't help but feel a little... Disheartened at the prank. You'd saved your pride by denying him beforehand, but, if it had been genuine...

"So if it wasn't a dare," He began, quietly, barely audible over the booming music overhead. Eyes barely visible in the sea of vibrant lights crashing like waves. "You'd have said yes."

You shrug, trying to play it casual to save your own feelings, just in case. "Probably. I mean, we're already friends. We have fun so it couldn't have been that bad." He nods along to almost every word.

"Well what if we did it anyways." He blurts.

"Did what?"

"Go out tonight. Like, you know ditch this lame ass party and have some real fun."

"You love this lame ass party, and plus," You shake your head in feigned annoyance. "I'm not sleeping with you, Nathan."

He glares at you. "Fucking duh. I'm just saying we can go and hang out somewhere else. This party happens all the fucking time so it's not like we're missing anything."

"But, wouldn't that make me the butt of our friends joke?"

He shrugs. "Fuck em. It was a dumb dare anyways."

"Now it seems like you're trying extra hard to convince me to say yes." You state, and he's frazzled, running lines through his brain to try and save the absolute failure of asking you out. You decide to spare him, take a little leap of faith for yourself. "But, alright. I'm in."

Nathan gapes at you. "You're in?"

"Yeah, why not. I'm not busy right now and if you're not either than," You smile. "Why not. You better wow me though, Prescott. I'm talking a night to remember. Fireworks, dinner by candle light, a serenade. The whole package."

Nathan's eyes light up, but he tries to hide it, rolls those beautiful blues. "Well considering I've had like no fucking time to prepare how about we instead go to the roof and chill out."

You toss the idea around in your head for show. You already knew the answer the moment he asked if you were being serious.

"I mean I guess that would work," You say. "I was looking for fireworks but I suppose that will suffice. Feel free to go tell our buddies their joke may have backfired on them."

Nathan shakes his head. "Nah, don't even bother. They're all drunk and probably don't even remember daring me in the first place."

"Alright then," You push yourself off the wall, feeling your cheeks warm. A flutter takes wing in the base of your chest, your heart picking up just a little faster. You can't stop the smile that graces you as you say, "Lead the way, Prescott."

Nathan does lead the way. He takes your hand into his own, your fingers tracing over his boney knuckles as he drags you through the sea of bodies, out to the school hall and up winding stairs.

You giggle like a child when he struggles to find the correct key on the janitors ring he'd snatched weeks ago just in case, tease him when he almost spills his drink all over himself. Nathan's hands are almost shaking, but you chalk it up to the alcohol. You chalk everything up to the alcohol- his trembling fingers, his red face, a shy, albeit goofy smile resting upon his lovely, angular face.

The night was cool and crisp, a stark contrast to the smoldering heat of the Vortex Party.

He looks amazing out under the stars, and underneath the scope of the vast, black sky dotted with trillions of perfect, twinkling lights, you feel at peace.

Looking at him, you feel like this may be the start of something you'd denied yourself the chance of ever even imagining.

Out there, alone but together, hearing the echoes of music mixed with the livelihood of crickets in the darkness...

it truly was a night to remember.

-----------

Days later, you sit atop your desk, feet tapping rhythmically on your chair, typing away at your phone.

"Love the top," A familiar voice pipes, and you glace up to find Victoria standing before you, books pressed to her chest. She takes in your shirt, a nicely fitted long sleeve with a rather low cut v-neck. "Why haven't I see that one before?"

You shrug and set your phone down. "Never got around to wearing it I guess. Not a big fan of V-necks."

"It fits you," She sets her books down at the table beside you and brushes a hand through her hair, making sure every strand is in line. "I'll have to get one myself."

"You know what, you can have it after today," You say, and she perks up in disbelief. "As a thank you for what happened at the party."

That disbelief soon turned to confusion. "...Meaning?"

"Y'know, making Nathan ask me out. He made a whole huge deal about it- said you guys were drinking and playing Truth or Dare of all things. Gotta say, I was a little surprised."

Victoria's brows knit. "We hardly drank at that party, and I wouldn't be caught dead playing Truth or Dare. That game is for kids."

It almost knocks the wind out of you.

They hadn't even been playing in the first place.

As the teacher walks into the room, the first period bell blaring annoyingly over the speakers, you climb off your desk and prepare for the day, hardly able to contain yourself. It hadn't been a dare, after all.

And, you and Nathan's official second date was merely a day away.

[stardust-static]

Puppy update 🥰

So if you didn't know I got to bring this guy home early which was about two and a half weeks ago now. We weren't supposed to get him till 8 weeks which was the 16th of December, but we got a call when he was six weeks saying that he's eating solid food and no longer needs his mama. Bailey and I did research and found that puppies usually still need a mama dog to learn mannerisms from and usually they're still nursing at that age. However since he was eating solids and I have three mature age dogs to teach him, & I'm an experienced dog owner who will pretty much be home with him all the time. I thought that it should be fine. Also he was sleeping outside in a pen.. these dogs are typically farm dogs and sleep outside with the farm animals to protect them at night. I was worried he might get too used to that and not want to sleep in the house.. some people get GP'S that are a little older and they usually won't sleep indoors as they want to patrol at night. We want our guy to be inside at night. These are typically working dogs that want a job, but mostly we wanted him to be a pet and his "job" is to protect my other dogs incase of coyotes and us incase of intruders. So it wasnt such a bad deal to get him when he was still so young and impressionable. We agree to come get him. Took a spur of the moment two hour drive. Got out to the farm in the middle of no where. He handed me the other boy. I knew he wasn't mine because I had been staring at this picture of my puppy for weeks. I set it as my wallpaper.

As you can see my guy had speckled nose (its fading now :( ) so he brings me my baby who was just sleeping and he's holding him up to me by his neck fat and he's crying and I grabbed him and he nuzzled his little face into my neck and that was it. We got in the car and I held him close to me and he shook and shivered half of the way and I just kept comforting him. He flinched everytime I touched him clearly not having much human contact. Half the way home he started warming up to me and was giving me kisses and wagging his tail. Bailey and I fell in love with him. We could not handle how adorable he was. Then we finally made it home. I set him in the garage and he was still so goofy and unsure of me. Then he came to me and let me pet him and love on him. Then one by one I let the other dogs in to meet him. They didn't really think much of him at first. Next we gave him a bath which he clearly never had. He smelled like urine and there was so much dirt in his fur. He was a little angel in the bath. The next day he became more confident and started to play with all his new toys and the eskies were pretty jealous. I've made sure to give them all equal amounts of love so no one feels neglected. Wally as always is a lot of work in that department. He's got his behavior problems which have heightened since the puppys arrival. We're working on that. Fast forward to today and Winston adores him. They play so cute together and Winston will actually let the baby cuddle him. Wally just.. I don't think he knows what a baby is. He's very rough and quick to anger. Bailey and I always say that he would have made a great only dog, but he's definitely not so all we can do is correct his behavior when he's mean to the puppy. The puppy cares very little about Wally's hissy fits though. I just don't want him to learn any bad behaviors from Wally. He hasn't yet. He's honestly just a big goofy teddy bear. Such a happy little guy. He's already doubled in size. Everyday I look at him and notice him getting bigger. Today I noticed that he's getting his long coat hairs coming through. He no longer fits in our kitchen sink that we washed him in the first night. Since we did get him so young he is very attached to me. I can not leave him alone. I've been sleeping on the couch with him when Bailey has to work in the morning and he's a sweetie. He snuggles up to my face and gives me kisses to wake me up when he has to potty. He's perfect. The only difficult thing is potty training. The worst part of raising a puppy for me. Especially now that we have carpet in every room. Luckily my mom gave us her commercial carpet cleaner. I put that baby to use last night. It's coming along though... Anytime now I'll have him potty trained. I had my mom babysit him today while I worked and she said he was an angel and didn't potty in her house once so thats good! I just watch him like a hawk and try to catch him before he goes. I'm always letting him outside and hopefully he'll learn how to use the dog door soon. We just got that set up for him, though we will need a bigger one eventually.

Now let me tell you about the stressful ass day I had yesterday and about how I just wanted to lock myself in my room and cry at the end of it all-- because of my pets.

First we wake up and I let the dogs out, and discover that Wally is leaving our yard. The gate on the back side of our property is a metal bar gate with chicken wire over it. Wally pushed the chicken wire out of the way and slipped his skinny little weasel body through the bars. So we went to buy a heavier duty wire fencing to put over the metal fence. Bailey said we should bring Toby cause we want to socialize him and also get him used to the car. So we bring him and on the way home Bailey says we should put him in the trunk of my suv so he could be more comfortable and because he was scratching Bailey up on the way to home depot with his little puppy claws. So we put him back there and we're on our way to get food and Toby is in the back screaming his head off. Then we go "whats that smell?" And I look in my rear view mirror and I see our puppy Toby with his feet hanging over the backseat, paws covered in shit and he's just jumping on everything back there that he can, just really smearing it everywhere. So I'm like WE NEED TO GO HOME NOW!!! just trying so hard not to puke. Bailey is laughing his ass off. Then Toby jumps over and into the back seat. I don't know with what strength suddenly. Winston and Wally have never managed to get out of the trunk space. So now he's making his way to me and I have to reach back and just hold him in place. Theres shit all over my back seat now. I'm crying. I keep gagging. Then Bailey starts to get queezy. We're both not keeping it together. So we eventually get home. Bailey cleans the car and I clean the puppy. Then I have to clean Winston because he ate my mascara while we were gone and got it all over himself. Then as I'm letting the dogs out my indoor cat bolts out of the house for the third time this week. I didn't even go after her. I just said "so be it!". I was having such an annoying day. Then Bailey goes to get us food and I put puppy in the kitchen because I need to vacuum and shampoo the carpets. Puppy screams his head off the entire time cause he hates being confined. The cat comes home an hour later. Bailey and I eat and get to work repairing the fence. Then puppy pees later on the newly shampood carpet. Then Bailey and I get dinner and put puppy in the kitchen again. We're just there at the dinner table eating our Chili's takeout, Bailey goes to get something out of the kitchen and I just hear him go "oh...no." I just looked at him and go "did the puppy shit in there?" and he goes "yup" I say "is it everywhere?" And he says "yuup..."

There was no peace to be had that day.

The dogs woke up and chose chaos.

So today Bailey went to work and so did I.

It was the first time since getting the fence put up that I let the dogs have free roam without me being there for hours. I've been really afraid to. It my number one fear right now, them getting out or stolen or somehow attacked by another animal, but I left the dog door open and just let them be for the day and took the puppy to my parents house. We're also letting the cat come and go as she wants now, because she has been so determined to leave the house. She's constantly bolting out the door and would even rather be in the garage most days. So we're letting her be and hopefully nothing happens to her. I took the bell off her collar so she can be extra stealthy. She did go into my neighbors yard and their 5 dogs chased her away and after that she's just been hanging out on our property laying in the dirt, soaking up the sun. Theres a little dog door built into the garage door that I'm now keeping open for her.

But yeah.. like I said my parents said that Toby is an angel and they'll watch him any time and I came home to the yard still intact and my dogs perfectly fine after being alone for six hours.

I enjoyed my much needed mini break from them and I'm going to go out tomorrow as well now that I feel confident that they'll be okay if I leave them sometimes.

I guess I'll end this massive post about my animals now.

✌💖

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: Are you on your way here? Jac: I hadn't started to get ready yet Jac: got caught up doing some prep for our next lecture, haven't looked at the clock in a minute 🤯 whoops Savannah: well thank god, I was hoping to catch you before having to dramatically tell you to turn around, especially if you had happened to be half way to me Jac: Oh? Jac: What's going on in UH tonight? 😄 Savannah: Nothing, which is perhaps why we're the centre of attention Jac: 😬 Don't love the sound of that Jac: what's been said? Savannah: I'm not even sure because the way she was saying it gave me the most INTENSE Catholic school flashbacks Savannah: & I've overanalysed every syllable to the point that it's been twisted beyond recognition so I can't be trusted to reliably relay any of it Jac: Okay, pause Jac: who's being mean to you, and why on earth Jac: Is it that one girl in the next room along from you, because I did think she was someone's little sister so I can believe the immaturity Savannah: I think she was trying to be complimentary about us but I didn't take it like that, I can't, not after everything Jac: Baby Jac: just try to explain it best you can Jac: take your time, and I'll forgive any personal interjection Jac: because I care more about how it's made you feel, than how it was said or meant, really Savannah: she's made me feel like I'm doing this all wrong, exactly how I said I wouldn't, holding you back and being too much Jac: But you aren't at all Jac: what would she even know about it, she doesn't know either of us, even a little bit Savannah: maybe that unbiased outside perspective is what I needed to make me realise the mistakes I'm making Savannah: because it isn't just her, they're all talking about how you're ALWAYS here, how inseparable we are Jac: Do you feel like we're taking things too fast, being too much? Savannah: No Savannah: but I didn't last time either Jac: okay Jac: because you know you can tell me, if you are Jac: I mean, I don't know what to do with this information Jac: we don't judge them for their relationships Savannah: I was fine, but I'm scared now, obviously Jac: that we're like you and Tyler, or you and Milo Jac: or that we're repeating our past and it'll end badly again Savannah: that I can't have a relationship that isn't ridiculously co-dependent, except it's not even, because that implies that they were as extra as I was Savannah: & that I shouldn't have entered into this one if I haven't changed enough to avoid repeating things Jac: They balanced you out Jac: and I don't Savannah: they let me do whatever I wanted, that isn't what I want from you Jac: but if it's what we both want Jac: it's hard for me to think we should listen more to these girls, who are probably speaking at least from a bit of jealousy, than that Savannah: No, because it isn't what we both want, a healthy relationship is what we both want Jac: Yeah Jac: you're right, of course Jac: but, I don't like the implication that they know what works for us Jac: if we need to reevaluate, it can still be on our terms Jac: I bet lots of them have never had a serious relationship, or only the same level of unhealthy as we have before, they're not qualified Savannah: They don't know us or have any qualifications & I believe you're right about the jealousy factor but I am still willing to see & use this as the wake up call that I need to do better Jac: We can do that Jac: I trust you Jac: I'm not going to see this as you pulling away or something I've done Savannah: please don't, because it isn't Jac: It was my initial fear Jac: but you never leave me to worry Jac: and the fact that I immediately went there is just something I need to address too Savannah: you have reason to go there, it's okay Savannah: how I handled things back then is precisely what I'm trying to avoid Jac: I completely see that, I honestly do Jac: I'm sorry if I got defensive right there Savannah: & I can see that I've slightly overreacted now that I've slightly calmed down Jac: It made me feel the same Jac: like you said, the school flashbacks are no joke Savannah: I'm so sorry I told you not to come, I'd hate for you to think that's what I want, ever Jac: It's okay, we can take a night off Jac: but I'm also not gonna tell you you can't come to mine instead, once they've all gone back to their rooms or whatever Savannah: are you going to tell me what prep you were doing which I should've been instead of freaking out? Savannah: because I need to know Jac: Of course Jac: we haven't competed like that for a LONG time now Jac: it's not like we were asked but I asked [your fave prof bff 'cos lord knows I'm using the photos] on the way out last week if there was anything we could study up on ready for next term Savannah: once I've done everything he has suggested & fixed my 😢 face I'll come over Jac: My poor boo, I hate that they upset you so much Jac: also that we only have showers Jac: or I'd recommend a bubble bath as first order of business Savannah: honestly the lack of 🛀🏾🥂 upsets me more than anything Savannah: but in all seriousness, it wasn't even those girls at fault, I got myself worked up Jac: it is a travesty Jac: we need a place with an en-suite next year Jac: because the idea of sharing a bath with god knows who is no more appealing than NOT having one 😰 Jac: it's okay, I won't insist on being that stereotype and 'having a word' with them, they can live, for now Savannah: if checking into a hotel wouldn't be viewed as the ULTIMATE overreaction, I definitely would use the 💳 my dad insisted upon giving me Jac: I can only imagine the flashbacks that would give him 🙄 Jac: not worth the stress nor satisfaction Jac: though I was thinking we could do something, go somewhere, before the Christmas hols, as we will both be obligated to go all in with the family during Savannah: there would be SO MUCH satisfaction but I promise, I'll resist and be good, for now Savannah: no such promises of 👼🏾 for a family Christmas though, so I love that idea Jac: We can make that happen with just a shower, I promise you Jac: even if we just see a bit more of Edinburgh, get that hotel, I wanna treat you Jac: and no one can stop me spending as much time as we're able lavishing attention on you before we have to go back Jac: because it's going to be stressful, we both know that much already Savannah: if you're feeling left out because your entire dorm isn't talking about us, I can make that happen once we're 🚿 Savannah: you're the most thoughtful girlfriend in the entire world, but if that's something we're about to start competing over in place of academics, that's more than fine with me Jac: I might regret saying I can handle that but Jac: I don't Jac: 😳😳 Savannah: you won't have any, I promise Jac: I love you Savannah: I'm utterly in love with you Jac: I'll never get over hearing that Savannah: you don't have to because I love your 😳 too Jac: It's so different Jac: even though we used to say it like all the time Savannah: you know I meant it every time, it just had to be different Jac: and it is Jac: third time's a charm Jac: we'll make it work this time, no matter how much work that might be Jac: because it's so worth it Savannah: yes, it is and we will Jac: I'm gonna order all your faves when you get here Savannah: 🥰 Savannah: hopefully the lecture prep won't take me too long Jac: you can always read through mine Jac: it's not like it's cheating, just a better way to do a study sesh Savannah: if you're going to send it to me, absolutely, but if you're expecting me to concentrate on reading through it when I get there, I'm sorry but there's no way Jac: I'm not that 😈 Jac: at least not at the sake of your education Savannah: & thank goodness as my parents are both already doing the most to interfere with my education right now with their constant communication Jac: yet imagine your dad in particular if you did any less than perfect Jac: I don't know how he fails to see how counterproductive the constant checking in is Savannah: or the pressure that he's been putting on me to spend Christmas with him from literally November 1st, I swear Savannah: it hasn't slipped his mind that I had no choice but to do that for the last two, even if the unfairness to my mother is something he refuses to think about Jac: Yes, I was about to say Jac: he'll have to think about how he's going to timeshare more efficiently with your mum now, just because it was his way or nothing for two whole years Jac: clearly, that didn't work so well for anyone BUT him Savannah: he thinks he can dictate to me as if I'm no older than I was when he forced me to leave & as though nothing has changed since then Savannah: I'm not going to jeopardise my mum's recovery by not spending time with her in the holidays Jac: To even suggest, let alone expect that from you Jac: even if he's not thinking about your mother, why would he want that guilt for you Jac: at least he cannot literally force you onto a plane to Sligo instead of Dublin Jac: it's getting Sienna, that needs to be planned Savannah: I'm at my wits end with her, it's like she doesn't see the problem Savannah: of course I'd understand her reluctance to spend it with mum but it's all about him, every single of her reasonings, because they aren't even really hers Savannah: she just fully believes whatever dad says Jac: 😕 That's hard Jac: because it automatically puts you in the bad guy camp Jac: because obviously it's nicer to believe that he only wants what's best etc Jac: but when she realizes that's not totally true, that'll be shattering Savannah: she's going to get hurt by him again, as if I wasn't there when he walked out teaching her to question everything that comes out of a man's mouth, that man in particular Savannah: I hate it Jac: I know 😞 Jac: all you're trying to do is protect her Jac: is she interested at coming like, at all? Jac: even if not the actual day of Savannah: It's not like I want her to spend her time and energy until her leavers cert hating him as much as I do, I know it'll be different for her now that I'm gone Savannah: but we get nowhere whenever I try to talk to her about mum, irrespective of the actual subject Savannah: I'm not giving up, of course, but I won't pretend to you that it isn't exhausting Jac: Of course you don't, you'd never tell her what to think Jac: but if you can see things differently, or remember how it was last time, it doesn't make you a bad sister, it's the opposite Jac: you never do ❤ Jac: I was just wondering, though this would be a bit morally dubious Jac: if we could trick her into spending some time with your mum Jac: I could make my sister invite her to something legit, like a family party Jac: your dad MIGHT say yes? I don't know Savannah: at this point I'm so close to walking away from everyone for the sake of my own mental health to spend the holidays alone & obviously that's not a real option I have available to me so I'm more than ready to do it & take the bad karma if it backfires Jac: I understand, last Christmas, I would've given anything to do just that Jac: I think it could work, your dad being the only potential block Jac: we could go for the second half, do New Years with her, maybe Savannah: 😞 I'm going to make sure you have the best Christmas this year, baby, whether or not this works Jac: I've got you, that's all I need for it to be perfect Jac: and we will work this out Jac: but as you said, it isn't even time yet, so you don't have to figure it all out tonight Jac: but when we do, you will have a peaceful and joyful Christmas, if it's the last thing I do Savannah: You're perfect & you're getting my undivided attention tonight, I truly do not care what opinion any or every American girl in this town has or decides to share Jac: A no-phone policy does not even need to be implemented when you're so beautiful Jac: it'd practically be a sin to not use every sense on you Jac: but seriously, whilst they may have a point, we're also further along than they might assume Jac: like I said, if they've never had a proper relationship, they're used to not getting texts back and having to be cool about it 🤷 Jac: we don't have to tone ourselves down or lessen what we have, if it doesn't serve us to do so, only in the ways it might Savannah: I will implement one though, some kind of a genuine family emergency happening again notwithstanding Savannah: I learnt a LOT about sin in Catholic school & you're totally right Savannah: you're the only person who I'd tone anything down for & since you haven't asked me, I really don't think it's necessary Jac: I appreciate it, a lot, you know that, right? Jac: the cliche isn't totally baseless then Jac: you can tell me all about it but we better keep that on the down-low 🤫 Savannah: okay, you don't want that specific dialogue broadcast to your entire dorm, just our mutual appreciation Savannah: I can do that Jac: I can only imagine how enthusiastic the boys would be Jac: and I only care about your enthusiasm Savannah: ugh, true Savannah: I forget too easily that we're not totally on our own once the door is closed, which I'm sure is what lead to that conversation taking place earlier Jac: We aren't the only ones who do that Jac: I swear to God I've heard at least four different girls going next door 🙄 Savannah: 🙄 not to mention I'm still getting woken up by a certain person we don't like just being loud while she undergoes her morning routine, which has literally been happening since I first moved in Jac: I can't deal with how loud she is Jac: the accent makes it so grating Jac: is she trying to be an influencer? make friends? either or 😬 honey no Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I'm going to have to start going to bed earlier to compensate once lectures start Jac: She a THOUSAND percent has booked herself all afternoon/evening lectures and won't get why everyone is making such a big deal ??? Jac: so that girl Jac: I do my best work in the AM, that's just facts, not all of us plan to party through the entire experience, come on Savannah: So do I, as you know, so if she doesn't take the numerous hints once they are coming from more than just me, I'll have to move in with you & be that girl Savannah: which would entirely negate all the rational points I made earlier Jac: God, there needs to be a way to complain about her without it being dead obvious Jac: an amnesty box of sorts Jac: I'm still looking for doubles but no one is moving yet Savannah: If I have to befriend her to initiate the behaviour change that way, I guess I'll get used to the accent Savannah: you've said my 🥺 is like a superpower Jac: it would be very on-brand Jac: basically work experience for us Jac: and they are but she might fall for you and then she'd be around even more Savannah: oh no, imagine how vocal she would be if she did Savannah: it would be beyond difficult to cope with Jac: I would not cope Jac: at all Jac: so I shan't imagine it Savannah: 😄 Jac: 😥 Savannah: Baby, don't 😥 Jac: I'll have to go back to being a TOTAL bitch from hell if she dares Savannah: 🥺 no Savannah: you're an angel Savannah: & she isn't worth your time or energy, I am Jac: You Jac: x2 Jac: I don't care about anyone else here Jac: in the nicest way possible, of course Savannah: except [whatever your professor bff's name is] that's evident in the notes you've sent me Jac: Okay, he's pretty cool Jac: and definitely gonna help us get perfect marks Savannah: you definitely don't need his help Savannah: I'd almost forgotten just how intelligent you are Jac: I'll try not to be offended Jac: even though I was still totally convinced you'd be going to Bath before I saw you Savannah: I mean, actually, not in a romanticised way because of how much I was in awe of you Savannah: & I did go there, before I made up my mind which offer to accept & it didn't feel right Jac: I'm only teasing, I know that Jac: 🌌💫 Savannah: we were supposed to be here together, like we always talked about Savannah: I shouldn't have ever tried to fight that Jac: I couldn't even bring myself to check your socials before Jac: I don't know what I didn't want to see more, you know Jac: confirmation either way was just, no Savannah: I understand Jac: If I'd have seen gap year plans with Milo, that would not have been it Savannah: most of the time that we were intending to plan was spent arguing anyway, I'm not sure he really wanted to go at any stage of it Savannah: with me, I mean Jac: You weren't right for each other Jac: he's lost a lot more from that deal than you have Savannah: He'll be having a lovely time in hostels, undoubtedly Savannah: it won't be a culture shock at all Jac: Checks out Jac: authentic experience Jac: inserting himself with all the other foreigners Savannah: 🙄 Savannah: if I thought he had a posh accent, lord knows what they'll think Jac: he'll be stimulating the economy, they'll pretend he's not unbearable Savannah: at least he'll be stimulating something, I suppose Jac: 😂 Jac: you said it, not me Savannah: it speaks to my experience Jac: how anyone has the nerve to 🥱 you when you're so interesting is so offensive to me Savannah: it's not his fault that nobody else could ever be as interesting to me as you are, but he is responsible for the effort, or lack of that he put in Jac: no, it'd take someone really special to fight the 🌌💫 and it's plans for us Jac: and I can imply he wasn't that person, without being petty about it Savannah: it's honesty, he wasn't that person & he'd be the first to say so Jac: you're already happier, aren't you? Jac: on this path, this direction Savannah: yes, the happiest Jac: 😊🥰 Savannah: excuse me while I have one of those moments where I can't believe any of this is really happening & fully expect to wake up in Sligo for the summer to the realisation it was the most incredible dream Jac: It's actually such a fear Jac: I never want to go to sleep when I'm with you Jac: for that reason, and the obvious being I can't look at you with my eyes closed Savannah: but if you don't your subconscious can't talk to me & you know how much I love that Jac: so far Jac: what if I say something totally stupid and betray myself 😱 Savannah: you could never say anything stupid & I know you aren't going to betray yourself or me Jac: You trust me, I trust you Savannah: exactly Jac: if I ever say anything really cringe, you can just not tell me, yeah 😅 Savannah: 😄 like what? Jac: anything our favourite American might say, for example Savannah: she isn't actually going to attempt to flirt with me, boo Jac: I know, she's the definition of straight Jac: bless her Savannah: ^^ she's the only person I would apply the word definition to, literally anyone else has the ability to change & grow but she's CLEARLY set in her loud ways Jac: ^ That's totally the vibe Jac: she made her mind up aged 10 she was right and hasn't moved an inch since, whatever the subject Savannah: you're so right Savannah: What were you like when you were 10? Jac: Oh God Jac: let me think Jac: so, fourth class, absolutely LIVID over the fact we had 2 more years of first school after that Jac: thought I was way too grown-up for EVERYTHING Jac: there was probably some boyband I was into but if there was, I don't remember but Isabelle probably still has the merch and posters on her wall Jac: hopefully I was less insufferable when we properly met those years later Jac: how about you? Savannah: I can totally relate, except of course I thought I was too grown up for boybands too Jac: Totally Jac: it was like a secret shame but she had none, Amelia neither Jac: so I kinda had to go with it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I had a very overprotective father who wouldn't have let me go to those concerts even if I had wanted to so Jac: it made sense to be anti then Jac: it was a lot of screaming and pre-teen hormones, it might've felt like it at the time, but you didn't miss out on a whole lot Savannah: if there'd been a girl band of that era I'd have been much more likely to have supported them, as a fierce little feminist Jac: Adorable Jac: you were cute, I remember that much Savannah: you've always been cute, I've seen the photos Jac: at least my hair had grown back in a decent amount by then Jac: I was so jealous of yours Savannah: really? I didn't even know how to properly style it back then Savannah: but I still insisted, obviously, instead of letting my mum help me Jac: I liked that Jac: you didn't just let your mum braid it and put a bow in Jac: I have to assume that was my logic when I cut mine Jac: independence, making my own choice Savannah: I thought I could do ANYTHING, it's embarrassing how big my aspirations were Savannah: & that there was no limit on the choices I had, there was total belief in that too Jac: it's nice Jac: I wish we stayed like that Savannah: imagine my 🥺 when I discovered inequality & where I was supposed to fit into it as a black girl, except don't because I was utterly devastated Savannah: we still have big dreams though & more choices than 10 year old me did Jac: I don't wanna cry Jac: you're still going to get everything you want Jac: and you've had to work twice as hard for it, no one can take that away from you Savannah: no 😢 we're both going to have a beautiful life Jac: ✨🌼🌷❤☀️❤🌹🌻✨ Savannah: I'll help you & you'll help me Savannah: now that I'm more willing to accept it than I was as a child Jac: and your hair is undeniably flawless Jac: we can do anything Savannah: Oh my god, it's my turn to be jealous of yours & I always am Jac: the fact you can be jealous of anyone blows my mind Jac: you are perfection Jac: but you can play with my hair all you want now Savannah: but not literally right now 🥺 Jac: life is so unfair Jac: I'm so proud of you though, working so hard Savannah: well I'm even prouder of you, these notes are flawless Jac: I've got my uses, yeah Savannah: [a picture of her own aesthetic af notes so far because we are both those bitches] Jac: [truly, could rinse the studyblr tag with these two] Jac: 😍😍😍 you've picked such pretty colours Savannah: [I have saved some cute psychology ones off pinterest for when they start their studies] Savannah: they do match my outfit but if I start sending pictures of myself I'll never finish Jac: if you start sending pictures of yourself, I'll find it harder to be supportive of your studies Savannah: I miss you too Jac: as long as we're in that together too Jac: I'll survive Jac: my room does need tidying before you get here Savannah: you're adorable, you don't have to tidy up for me Jac: for my notes to look perfect, my room has to get a little messy Jac: oh, and my hair, probably Savannah: I can fix your hair for you after we 🚿 Jac: as long as you don't think I look terrible when you show and run straight back Savannah: I've been 😢 so I don't have any room to judge but even if I did, you could never look terrible & there is no conceivable reason that I'd ever run away from you Savannah: but if you need to shown all of that when I get there, it's okay, I'm happy to Jac: I'm so needy, I'm sorry Savannah: you're allowed to want me & not be sorry Savannah: I definitely don't see it as a negative Jac: Good Jac: I haven't done this before Jac: I don't ever wanna be too much Savannah: well, you aren't doing it alone & I trust us more than the opinion of a random American girl I'm currently stuck living with Savannah: any amount of reassurance you need for any reason, it's fine, I promise Jac: 😌 I'm cool Jac: but thank you Jac: there's no one else I would want to or could do this with Savannah: there's no need to thank me, I'll do anything to make sure you feel happy & secure Jac: and I intend to return the favour, always Jac: in every way available to me Savannah: 😊 I know, I meant what I said earlier, you're very good at this, first time girlfriend or not Jac: I've got to be a worthy competitor and you're 👼🏾 Savannah: Catholic school taught me a lot about 👼🏾 too Jac: I'm so relieved they still had to give you an actual education as well Jac: I can only imagine how hard Science could've fallen by the wayside Savannah: still, I will not be enrolling my 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 when they're old enough Jac: at least you don't have to make that decision for a while yet Savannah: which is just as well because my immediate response was 'thank god', how blasphemous Savannah: 🙏🏾 hasn't guided this decision but there is a LOT of  🙌🏾 involved Jac: he'd approve if that was the only precaution you took, like Savannah: his approval would have to eclipse my actual father's disapproval, which is BEYOND unlikely Jac: 🙏🏾 is less vocal Jac: it's more signs than 🔊 Savannah: I think that's ⛪️ dependent, some 🙏🏾🙌🏾 is very vocal Jac: actual GOD himself though Savannah: hmm, well he is a man Savannah: it makes communication more challenging Jac: I'm sure little Savannah would've said herself Savannah: child me would've believed that god is a woman, another dream shattered for sure Jac: a woman wouldn't have done so poorly Jac: it's a compliment, really Savannah: exactly, with the zero communication, it'd be like excuse me honey, why are you so angry at me that you've blocked me? Jac: that kind of drama is reserved for me Savannah: not even, I know what I did to you Jac: you didn't do anything to me, not on purpose, I always knew that Savannah: it wasn't on purpose but that doesn't mean it's okay Savannah: I hurt you anyway Jac: We were both hurt and hurting Jac: it was a lot Savannah: yes, but it's important that you don't make excuses for me simply because of how much you want to forgive me Jac: I won't Jac: I can just recognize my role in everything too Jac: as well as the other factors that neither of us could control Savannah: ^^ we're not going to get hung up on it to the extent that it ruins everything, but we can & will acknowledge it all so that doesn't either Savannah: I do love a balancing act 😄🙄 Jac: You do it flawlessly Jac: but we don't have to examine our past and our current behaviour constantly Jac: night's off are self-care Jac: tonight can be one of them, we'll just be Savannah: okay Savannah: I don't know why it feels like I haven't seen you in a really long time, I swear I didn't fully disassociate during my freak out earlier Jac: I feel it too Jac: judge away, everyone Jac: we're making up for lost time Savannah: they'd understand if I actually let them spend time with you instead of stealing you away on sight Jac: I can't pretend to be devastated Jac: you're the most interesting to me Savannah: I can't pretend I regret it either Jac: 🥰 Jac: we have plenty of time to socialize Jac: and we do, with people who are relevant, like people on our course and the psych society Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: It's not my fault she isn't looking over my shoulder when I'm super active in both of those group chats Savannah: I was literally setting up a study group before she cornered me, excuse her Jac: 🙄🙄🙄 I don't care for her at all, even if she's brought a potential problem to our attention before it was Jac: like thanks but still, bye though Jac: maybe the rest of her art history course does NOT love her either 😬 like if YOU'RE lonely, just say Savannah: mhmm Savannah: if anybody understands loneliness, we do Jac: right, if the ego was taken out of it, we'd try to spend time with her, and loads of other people in your dorm etc would too Jac: she's not helping herself rn Savannah: I also totally understand overconfidence as a front for insecurity, like hello??! She could have an ally in me if she'd approach things differently Jac: 🤞 she gets there before the year is out Jac: I don't want anyone struggling, seriously Jac: but I know forcing friendships when they aren't happening naturally isn't healthy Jac: never mind accepting people's toxic behaviour when we're actively trying not to do or be that Savannah: I couldn't agree more Savannah: though, despite what I said before about her not flirting with me, there is a very high possibility she'll fall in love with you if you keep being so perfect Savannah: everyone will Savannah: it's not as if she has to like girls to appreciate your intelligence, empathy or compassion, even if understanding your resilience & determination is clearly a harder task for her right now Savannah: a beautiful soul is a beautiful soul Jac: 🥺 Jac: Baby Jac: beautiful recognizes beautiful, that's all I have to say Jac: you make me feel so much better than I've ever thought I am Savannah: I can't say if I achieve nothing else while I'm here I'll be satisfied, because you know me better than that, but I am proud to be able to list that as an ongoing one because I've never met a better person than you Savannah: you deserve to feel it Savannah: & if you are what you love, what a good person you are shamelessly works in my favour too Jac: you're the most incredible person I've ever known Jac: it just sounds like a baseless compliment, there's no way to adequately put it, at least not without some serious time and work to try Savannah: not from you, there's no such thing Jac: I'm not the one that can write songs, sadly Savannah: but you could write a song I'd like more Jac: 😅 Savannah: I know he's your brother but no Jac: Don't worry, not a weird clause that to date me you have to think his music is amazing Jac: I'd actually hate that, to be honest Savannah: I'm beyond relieved Jac: I'm relieved no one here knows who he is, or who I am in relation Jac: that was getting annoying, towards the end Savannah: poor boo, I can't even imagine Jac: oh well Jac: this fresh start is going better than I could have even dreamed on my craziest day Savannah: me too & you're really keeping me sane Jac: God knows we've got to get through this experience and THRIVE Savannah: ^^ 👏🏾 Savannah: We will, failure to do so is literally not an option Jac: Exactly Jac: I refuse Jac: to let either of us Savannah: speaking of, these notes are done Savannah: so I'll be there soon Jac: I'll come out with the blasphemy too Jac: because I need to see you so bad now Savannah: It's mutual Jac: Hurry Jac: but don't forget your coat, it's cold Savannah: 🥰 I totally would have for the same reason I don't think either of us can be held responsible for what we're about to say, so thank you Jac: I can't let you freeze Jac: even though warming you up is beyond a welcome responsibility Savannah: & I can't lie, my coat is more fashionable than practical, I'll still need you Jac: You've got me Jac: shower, tea and all the bed cuddles you could want Savannah: you're going to make me cry again Jac: sweetie Jac: you can cry but wait 'til you're inside and with me so we don't have to thaw out the icicle teardrops Savannah: [a picture of her with that glitter tears filter than samantha loves so much because sadly I don't actually have one] Jac: Wow Jac: that's my girlfriend Savannah: I can't get over hearing that from you Jac: I can't get over saying it Jac: even just to myself Savannah: It sounds so different when a boy says it Jac: Yeah? Savannah: I don't even know how to explain it, it's like it stripped me of something instead of giving me something Savannah: it felt like, oh, I'm just your girlfriend now, okay Jac: like a kind of diminishment of who you are Jac: not the pride to be with you and know you and love you Jac: I see that Jac: I was never anyone's girlfriend, but that's the feeling I got from them Jac: a title for THEM not YOU Savannah: of course you understand, you always do Jac: not that I was bothered what they thought Jac: but it would have been upsetting if I was, definitely Savannah: I hate that Jac: it's okay, that's all over Savannah: I'm going to make you so happy Jac: I know you will

[astras-world]

WHAT MAKES IT WORTH IT CHAPTER IV- AVOID.

Warnings:Swearing, small fight scene

Thanks for everyone who sent in suggestions from the prompt list!

You weren't sure how you were going to do this. How you were going to avoid having these secret moments with Tom so abruptly but you knew it had to happen.

This was getting you nowhere, your feelings would eventually get in the way of work and truth be told you still needed this job.

So you started small, like pulling your hand away when he grabs it or sitting next to anyone else except for him. You started to ask Harrison to wake Tom up early in the morning to get him to taping and he reluctantly obliged telling you that confronting Tom about your feelings would be more helpful and solve all your problems.

But it wasn't that easy, nothing with Tom was even as kids he would disagree with you and do the exact opposite of what you wanted to do, he was a pain in the ass.

Now is a whole other world of problems starting with how to detach yourself from him in any form possible, the first step to erasing your feelings for him.... Maybe.

Truth be told you had no idea how to do it or if it will even work cause you knew you were already in too deep, getting rid of your feelings for him seemed impossible.

You've been successful so far and so far meaning a couple of days and you weren't sure how much longer you can keep it up.

You missed him, everything about him. The way his hands felt against your skin, his soft lips pressing small kisses on random parts of your body, his body enveloping yours in his completely. You missed the comfort, you missed his laugh to the point that every chuckle physically pained you.

It hurted more everyday that passed, it made you want to run into his arms and stay there forever. But that wasn't possible you kept telling yourself everytime the thought came into your mind which happened way too often

You weren't sure if he noticed, if he did it didn't matter, he wasn't making much of an effort anyway.

But Tom did notice. He noticed the way your hand would slip away from his evertime he tried. He noticed how you didn't sat next to him anymore. How you made excuses to not join him for his naps, how you made Harrison wake him up Every morning instead of going yourself. He noticed how you would pull away from him when he started to get close

He figured that maybe you were mad at him or something so he gave you space thinking that in a couple of days everything would go back to normal. He hoped it will.

He missed you, more than he'd ever admit to himself. He missed running his fingers through your hair everytime you got a headache, he missed holding your hand and the comfort you provided, he missed the way you would fit into him so perfectly when he'd hold you as the both of you were sleeping, he missed your voice telling him off, your laugh, everything. It was almost painful.

But days turned to weeks and those weeks turned into a month, it was taking a toll on the both of you it was evident on the bags unde. your eyes and your forced smiles.

Tom didn't understand why you were acting the way that you were, it was starting to not matter at all. He just wanted his best girl back.

Tonight you were out clubbing with the rest of the gang, you needed to get drunk and Tom had a plan to talk to you.

So after entering the club you immediately went to the bar and ordered your favorite drink hoping to get drunk by the end of the night.

Your wishes came true cause nearing the end of the night you were drunk and dancing with strangers.

One particular stranger caught your eye, he was tall and had charming brown eyes and in your drunken state it was enough to get you giggling like a school girl.

Tom however wasnt in the mood for a drink and he kept an eye on you all night long, keeping an eye on the man that spoke to you at the bar.

Noticing his hand on your waist and the way you smiled up at him, he could almost hear your laugh if it weren't for the music blasting through the speakers surrounding the area.

He let you do your thing, let you get drunk, let you hang around this guy but that didn't stop the sinking feeling in his chest. It didn't stop him from clenching his jaw and his hand curl up into a fist.

Harrison noticed of course. Tom was never one to turn down a drink or a good time and so he followed his line of sight and there you were, flirting with a handsome stranger.

He had to laugh, you were both idiots who kept denying the way you felt about one another.

'She seems to be having a good time" Haz says nudging tom a little

"Mmm" Tom hummed in agreement.

"why aren't you?" Haz says turning to Tom

"What are you talking about? I am having a good time" Tom denies.

"uh huh, that shit doesn't work on me." Haz gives him a look.

"nothing, I just- I want my girl back." Tom says sighing

"She's not yours though, is she?" Haz says cautiously

"No she's- not in that way. You know what I mean" Tom stutters out.

"Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Why don't you make her yours?" Haz asks.

"We're not like that, man. Besides she deserves someone better" Tom says shaking his head.

"Someone better? What kind of better?" Haz asks outraged

"you know, someone stable. Someone who's not everywhere every time." Tom says.

"Mate she travels with you everywhere" Haz says flatly.

"yeah but that isn't what she wants now is it? She likes to settle down. She likes to stay at home, she's adventurous sure, but my kind of adventures aren't for her." Tom says.

"That doesn't even make any sense" Haz says and Tom sighs.

"Listen, Me and y/n, we're not like that. We can't" Tom says with finality

Harrison was about to respond when they heard a squeal very much like yours and they both turn their heads to where the sound came from

There they found you trying (and failing) to push the man away from you. Who was clearly trying to make a move

Tom's blood immediately boiled at the sight. Almost like blacking out he was suddenly punching the guy away from you.

"What the fuck, man?" the unknown guy said wiping blood off his face

"Thomas!" you shouted at the same time in shock immediately holding him back.

"She said no, man." Tom said menacingly.

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" The man said pushing tom provoking him further

"She is my business now back the fuck off will you?" Tom said lowly.

The man was about to throw another punch at Tom when Harrison interviened

"I wouldn't do that if I were you or would you rather face a billion dollar lawsuit for damaging Marvel's golden boy?" Haz said clicking his tounge tilting his head slightly.

The man left with an angry huff leaving you with Tom and Haz.

"Take her home, Tom" Haz then turned to you "And you little miss, are in a lot of trouble." pointing his finger at you a smirk playing on his lips.

Tom dragged you away after an exchange of goodbyes with your other friends keeping a tight arm on you as he goes along making sure you stayed by his side.

You on the other hand was still pretty out of it, just sober enough to understand what happened.

Tom led you to the car and you sat in silence for a while, you all too willing to keep ignoring him. If you break now you don't know what would happen.

"So that's it? You'll keep ignoring and avoiding me and think that I don't notice?" Tom said breaking his silence.

"I'm not avoiding you nor am I ignoring you." You said trying to keep your voice.

"I thought the saying went 'drunk people say sober thoughts" Tom said raising his eyebrow at you

"I'm sober" you said defensively

"You were drinking like a damn fish" Tom said flatly

"I may have had a couple shots." you say pouting

"Uh huh, that's what I thought." Tom says humorously.

"Why are you like this? What did I do?" Tom

"You didn't do anything."You shrugged

"Then why are you mad at me?" Tom said defeatedly.

"I'm not mad at anyone" you said blankly.

"Well why are you acting like this, then?" Tom asks

"Acting like what?" You ask brows furrowed.

"Acting like, like,, not like you!" Tom says.

"And when did you become an expert on who I am?" you ask incredulously

"You can't possibly think you're the only one who picks up on habits, who cares enough to notoce anything?" Tom ask rhetorically but you answer anyway.

"Yes. I do. And if anyone else were to, they wouldn't be you." You say.

"and why is that?" Tom asks

"The only person you care about is yourself." Ypu say, immediately wanting to take it all back.

"That's bullshit and you know it." Tom says hotly.

It was. You knew it was. You knew he cared more than he'd ever let on. You knew he cares too much sometimes. He always cared.

But you stayed silent anyways. You were persistent on staying like this. You didn't have it in you to find out what would happen if partially drunk you started talking about what's wrong.

So the drive continued silently. You didn't notice falling asleep but the next thing you knew you were being carried up.

You felt the familiar warmth wrapping around you and you immediately relax, you missed this, everything about it and now here you were back in his arms like and you didn't know how the hell you could ever pry yourself away from him ever again.

So you open your eyes slightly still half asleep.

I love you.

You wanted to say. You wanted him to know. You wanted to just tell him right there.

But you didn't..

"you have, the most beautiful eyes, Tommy." you muttered so quietly it was a miracle he heard you.

"Really, love? I thought they're quite boring?" Tom said humorously reminding you of a moment where you told him that his eyes were indeed boring

You and Tom were only starting to get along, today you had to help him with his lines, Tom always had a hard time reading his lines but he did great remembering it, his dyslexia has been getting difficult especially being mixed with stress and time zone changes, so he needed extra help studying his lines.

The scene you were reading was between him and Zendaya, a scene where they take off swinging in the city and the dialogue starts once they land

"Oh my god I am never doing that again" you said acting as though you were breathless

"It was fun! Sorry, did I freak you out?" he said acting happy then immediately switched to concernedYou lift your eyes from the script meeting his eyes feeling yourself slowly drifting deeper into his chocolate colored eyes.

"No, I just uhm.. I-" you stutter forgetting the lines immediately looking back down on your script and blushing

"Getting lost in my eyes, love?" He says teasingly a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Oh please Thomas, who would get lost in your eyes?" you scoff bot allowing yourself to get caught.

"You apparently." Tom chuckles and you scoff

"How could I? You have the most boring, standard eyes anyones ever had" You say rolling your eyes"

whatever you say, darlin'."

"Hmm, I lied" you hum.

"I know darling, I saw you blush." Tom says laughing "Nothing wrong in thinking I'm attractive, love" he shrugs a smile playing on his lips as he lays you down on the bed Taking off your shoes and crouched on the floor near you brushing hair away from your face.

"There is when you don't think the same." you mumbled.

"Now who said I don't find you attractive?" Tom chuckles

"I did." You sneered sleepily.

"Now that's just ridiculous, love. I think you're gorgeous." Tom said softly, seriously, admiration clear in his voice

You opened you eyes only to meet his and your gazes lock on each other.

"Can I tell you a secret, love?" Tom asks

"Anything." you answer right away.

"I really want to kiss you right now." Tom says brushing his thumb against your cheek.

"then kiss me." You said seriously your eyes still locked on each other.

"If I kiss you right now, I won't be able to stop." Tom said his lips inches away from you.

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[malexfan10]

What is it about Malex?

I was playing around on my phone at work (when I should have been working lol) and came across some article about the best TV couples. It was published in 2018 so Malex wasn't in it lol

But I was going through the pictures in the article and I saw a lot of the couples I've liked & enjoyed over the years listed. Pacey & Joey, Captain Swan, Haleb, Stydia, Kurt & Blaine etc.

I started thinking...what is it about Malex that makes them extra special for me? What is it about them that made me join Tumblr and Twitter for the first time? I never had either before this year. What is it about them that made me write more fan fic in the span of 3 months than I have in years of watching other shows? And I'm someone who studied English Lit in university and have written many novels, hoping to finally pursue publishing this year with one of them. But the amount of fan fic I've typed out the past 3 months? My hands seriously hurt!

So why is Malex so special?

(I made a collage below)

Is it because they're an LGBTQ pairing? There have been other LGBTQ pairings I've rooted for. Malex isn't the first and they won't be the last. Times are changing in TV land and we're seeing more and more representation. It's progressing slowly, but it is changing.

Is the reason Malex is extra special a shallow reason? The actors are both incredibly good looking. No getting around that. But I loved Haleb too and Tyler was one half of that ship. I adore Joshua Jackson and Dylan O'Brien. I think Holland Roden is beautiful. In the couples I've followed over the years, all the actors & actresses have been attractive in their own ways.

-- side note -- I know I put Destiel (SPN) in the collage below even though technically they're not a couple but some of their lines over the past decade, I mean come on! It's so obvious! --

Anyway...

Is it the chemistry between Tyler & Michael? I thought Katie & Josh had amazing chemistry. Only reason I watched PLL was for Haleb and the friendship between Tyler & Ashley. Some of the couples I've rooted for really sizzled on screen. Do I think Vlamburn has better chemistry than all the others? Not necessarily. I think they tie for first with some of my other faves (although I would probably rank them above right now just because they're current).

So what is it about Malex that made me so emotionally invested that I joined social media like this? That I've written a bunch of fics and have so many other concepts cooking in my head.

I think it comes down to the angst at the end of the day and how the story has been written.

I've directed a lot of disappointment and anger towards Carina and the writers since that finale because I'm afraid the triangle will grow and span multiple seasons. I'm afraid the writers will show Michael really starting to have deep feelings for Maria the longer M&M exists (I know Vlamis said in those last interviews that his feelings for her are already very deep but sorry Vlamis. I love you but I don't see that yet.) I'm afraid now that they know they were renewed, they'll drag this storyline out, pursure M&M and then Michael with other relationships if/once M&M ends with Alex just waiting in the sidelines, moping and heartbroken.

But despite all my fears and disappointments after that craptastic finale (seriously, I can write a 20 page essay), I have to give the writers their credit.

The story they wrote, the beauty they created in Malex, with that amazing angst and history and love is the reason I'm so invested.

"Where I stand, nothing's changed"

"I never look away"

"That I loved you and I think that you loved me."

"Cosmic"

"But you are mine"

"I don't look away Guerin"

"I love him. I probably always will"

I mean, these lines all exist. No one can take those words away. Yes, the writers can try and diminish it by shoving another relationship down our throats & attempting to give that relationship the same level of meaning and importance (sorry, not buying it. Hardly anyone is). But those lines will always be there.

The epicness of Malex will always be there.

That beautiful first kiss in the reunion will always be there.

Their connection in senior year, bonding over their painful childhoods and living situations will always be there.

Caulfield, although bittersweet, will always be there.

Michael Guerin wanting to be Alex's hero will always be there.

The angst and love between them is just unbelievable. I don't think any other couple I've rooted for over the years has had the same amount of angst or history. Their story is just beautiful.

I don't cry too much in movies or TV shows unless there's a really sad death that hits me hard. LOST was one of those shows where I sobbed constantly (Jin & Sun's death, Juliet's, Charlie's...I could go on).

But I cried after that last scene in episode 6, when Jesse destroyed such a beautiful and pure moment 🥺

I cried at that moment in Caulfield 🥺

I cried at the finale, watching Alex just waiting there while Michael....let's not remind ourselves 🤨

So yes, the chemistry is unbelievable between Tyler & Michael. How close they are offscreen shines through their performance and this is in a cast where everyone's close. But with Vlamburn, especially from Michael, he's so unfiltered when he talks about Tyler's eyes or the way he kisses or just how much he loves him. What can I say, they make me love Malex more ❤

Yes, they're both incredibly good looking but that's a miniscule, shallow reason. How good looking a couple is in no way compares to how much their emotional connection matters, at least for me.

So really, it's the story. It's the history. It's all that profound, made for each other, soulmates love that they share. It's the incredible angst that makes me root for them even more.

And yes, as much as Carina and crew have angered me after that finale and after their insistance of shoving this triangle down our throats and in our faces, they did create Malex so I have to be grateful for that. Vlamburn perfected it and made it epic but the concept came from Carina (trust me, it hurts to give that credit).

So as much as it still hurts with what happened, as much as seeing the M&M promos bothers me, as much as I'll be a sobbing mess once season 2 hits and Alex realizes what happened, I have to believe that this much care and heartbreaking angst was given to this couple for a reason. That reason has to be that Malex is endgame.

Can Carina change her mind about Endgame Malex? Sure she can, if she wants to lose a substantial percentage of the fandom. But I can't believe she'll do that.

I can't believe that Malex is anything but each other's ending.

I can't believe that this beautiful love story we've seen between 2 men who started as scared, lonely boys and are now broken men trying to put themselves back together is anything short of EPIC.

I can't believe that M&M, however painful and ridiculously unnecessary, is anything but a bump in this road for Malex.

All that matters is how the writers take us from point A to B.

Does their separation last for 4 more seasons (pending renewals) and Malex reunites in the series finale, season 5? God I hope not. I need to see them existing as a couple together on screen, not just a kiss and makeup moment last episode and assume they made it. So once this teenage level of triangle nonesense has been dealt with (please let season 2 be the end of it!!!!), I really hope the writers realize the amazing couple they created and give them their due justice by bringing Malex together for good.

Episodes 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, last Malex scene of 9, beginning of 10 and all of 12 point this show towards one inevitable ending with Malex and that's reuniting (did I get the episodes right?). Just keep your fingers crossed it happens sooner rather than later. Right now, that's where my main fears lie.

This fandom has been super great about lending support to one another when things get tough. Unfortunately, things will get even tougher next season so it will be good to have this great support.

As far as the promos and interviews we'll be getting between now and 2020, I'll try to only watch interviews that Michael & Tyler give together and avoid anything that seems like M&M promotion (outside of full cast interviews or festivals etc). I love all the actors on this show. They're all wonderful and talented and deserve our love and support (not commenting on that Nathan instagram thing).

But as a Malex fan, I have no place in my life for unnecessary stress from a TV show because honestly, as invested as I am, it's still just a TV show. No need to give myself more heartbreak before season 2 even airs by watching pro M&M interviews like yesterday. I'll just stay in my happy Malex bubble until then (and then die when I see M&M next year 😭).

In the end of this long post, all I wanted to say is that Malex is extra special, head and shoulders above others ships I've rooted for and that's mostly because of the beautiful story I've seen on screen but Vlamburn defintely plays an imortant part in making it epic ❤

I'm a Malex lifer. Nothing will ever change that.

❤

[tlcwrites]

It's taken me this long to reblog this, because every time I went back to find the parts I wanted to mention, my vagina brain exploded because holy fucking shit Sarah this is one of the hottest things I've ever read.

Look, you already know I'm your #1 fangirl. But woman, you outdid yourself with this one. The first two installments were brilliantly pussy destroying, but there's something about this one that was so perfectly filthy that I am desperate to go to a strip club with sugar daddy!Kylo. I am irrationally angry I can't. Spoilers ahead:

1. Reader's self doubt is so familiar to I'd be willing to bet all of us who identify as fem. It doesn't matter how confident we might be, or that Kylo is loyal to the death, because we're 1) human and 2) women/fem, and we're fucking conditioned to always be comparing ourselves to other women. And he's not having it and I'm HERE for it. Like:

“Is this still what you want?” he asked into your ear, nose nudging into your hair. “She’s going to put on an extra special show for us. Are you ready for that?” “I… I am,” you answered, in pure honesty. “I really want this… So long as you want it too.” Kylo pressed a kiss to your neck, right at the point he knew made you tingle everywhere. “I just want you to enjoy yourself sweetheart.”

We stan a man who continually checks for consent. 2. Maya. Is. Hot. As. Fuck. And I love how patient she is with Reader, how encouraging and supportive Kylo is of Reader, and how Reader slowly finds her confidence.

Maya didn’t even show the hint of acknowledgment to your blatant unease, her other arm curling around your chest to meet its counterpart, circling you in a crushing hug. “Oh you are so sweet!” She placed a peck on your cheek after releasing the embrace, purely in the name of being kind and playful. The brashness of it made you giggle, and for a reason you couldn’t explain it worked like magic to soothe your stress.

and

“It’s okay. This is okay. He told me he wants you to come in front of me, and… I want to see it.” “You do?” “I really do.” “Do you… usually do this?” Maya shook her head, her expression exposing a slight vulnerability. “You’re a special circumstance.”

Again, so fucking relatable for someone who is still exploring their sexuality and might not initially identify as queer. And good on Maya and Kylo for sex-positivity. 3. The smut. THE SMUT. It's not even that there's that much actual smut. It's that the building of the sexual tension, which you are fucking brilliant at, is so well woven through the entire arc of the fic, you don't even realize how much it's mounting. But then when it culminates in the private room, it's so explosive I quite literally went "oh Jesus fuck yes please."

Ahem:

“You’re doing so good sweetheart,” Kylo crooned gently, feeling him rut against you to soothe some of his own arousal. “You’re doing so good for us.”

Again, Maya was more focused on intensifying your high with her words. “Did he make you cum then? Were you cumming on his cock while I was still on stage?”

AND THEN AND THEN YOU FUCKING DID THIS:

“Meet me out front,” she announced boldly. “I’m ending my shift early.”

You took a moment to breathe fully, trying to gauge her purposeful expression. “What do you mean?”

“I think we all know we’re not done here. So, you’re taking me home with you.”

In conclusion, your honor, you are a goddess for gifting us with this depravity, and I am so fucking horny excited for what the three of them get up to once they're home.

(You still owe me new panties.)

Proper Celebration

Characters: Modern AU!Kylo Ren x Female Reader x Stripper!OC

Words: 4.1k

Warnings/Tags: Explicit (18+), Sugar daddy relationship, strip club setting, bisexual reader, heavy descriptions of lusting after a woman, private lap dance, fingering, dirty talk, voyeurism.

Authors Note: A third part to New Endeavors and Negotiations. This is just a self-indulgent bi-sexual fantasy okay? Don’t @ me. This story won’t end here because damn it, I can’t help myself. 

~

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