#AND ive got my writing competition tomorrow holy fuck

[vivasity]

hhhhh i also so badly want to write something that takes place in a Liminal Space/SCP/Kinda off-putting coffee shop that I created a while back i have so many things going at once rn its insane

[survivorwakea]

Episode 14: “YEEHAW!” - Elmo

im so flop w these orgs but I AM SO HAPPY THAT I AM IN THE F5!! JARED LEFT HE LEFT! HES GONE! IM IN THE FINAL 5 WOOOOOO I MIGHT BE FLOPPING WITH MY MOVES BUT I AM JUST SO HAPPY THAT IM HERE WAAAA

Jared...that sucked. I hope we are still good friends after this. I never wanted it to go down like that but I wouldn’t stand a chance against you at a final after everything that has happened this game. I truly enjoyed getting to know you and hope that you love stranger things. I have some hot memes saved for it. At least if you don’t like the show maybe you will appreciate the memes. Anyway... now we got a challenge that I have like a .00002% chance of winning because I work 10-6 tomorrow. I considered staying up but I can’t. I’m gonna do it as long as I can tonight but I don’t think it’s gonna matter. My plan is if elmo wins vote Bodhi. If Bodhi wins vote Elmo. If neither of them wins then...this vote will be something mighty interesting.

ive been so bad with confessionals so i want to do a proper one for once. It's day 36. I still have my idol and my closest ally, Chloe won immunity. Which means that we are both going to final 4 bitches  YEEHAW! I couldn't be happier that we have both pulled this off. There's only so little left and I'm so proud of coming all this way because comin into this season I really had no expectations of myself but I genuinely think that I have a chance of winning and that is just not a feeling I get every day.

This vote could go two ways. The more likely way is to vote out Bodhi. Bodhi/Asya are inseparable duo since forever and votin bodhi would be very smart. Other option is Lily. I feel like Lily hasn't played as well as Bodhi has (aka I think I have a shot against her in the FTC) but I feel like shes defo better in challenges. I am not sure what route is the best but I am leaning towards votin Bodhi out. I know that I can beat Lily in FIC and hopefully then get her out. My dream f3 for a while now has been Asya and Chloe and its fairly close to come into fruition.

I just hope I can pull of these last challenge wins. I have zero (0) individual immunities so now would be a very good time to get a win on my record. I hope that I don't choke this end game ajsoidfjasf. I also hope that I am not being delusional about my chances,,, worst case scenario would be jury hating on me. I don't think that is the case but I really cannot know for sure yanno? I am not there and hopefully wont be!!!

https://imgur.com/a/4SUfgSs

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Bodhi is voted out 3-2. He becomes the eighth member of the jury.

Well. I did it. I made a move. It was risky and the jury may not agree but I had to do it. I would have lost this game for sure if I didn’t save elmo for another round and vote Bodhi out. Bodhi mad respect for you and absolutely love how you take things seriously but also don’t??? It was really great getting to talk with you again. Anabel is a beautiful singer but I think you were the true winner of the talent show. No matter what happens, if I’m the next jury member, get 3rd, 2nd, or somehow win the thing, I’m happy. I met some awesome people and played differently than I have before. Hoping I can win this next challenge. If elmo wins, it’s no good but I think I can make it to F3. If elmo doesn’t win, hopefully all the girls can come together and get him out.

Voting Bodhi tonight because I'm not letting ANYONE drag me anywhere, not even to 4th place xx

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The fact that I've made it to F4 and get to do ROP really makes me happy, I never thought I'd be at this point in the game holy shit

fuck simon says. If any game I play in the future includes this game I will quit on the spot. Screenshot after each round????? Ummmmmmm. no. hard pass.

I'm almost certain Elmo will win, I knew it from when I saw he was in the cast. Even if I somehow end up sitting beside him at FTC, he's going to get the votes over me. I feel so defeated. Hell even if I make FTC and he doesn't, I'll probably still lose. I feel like such a bad player and person. This game has ruined me totally. I don't feel like I have much fight left to give but I'm trying so hard to pretend to everyone else I have the most fight left in me. Elmo deserves the win though.

me, having the attention span for this challenge? its less likely than u think

im like frustrated bc i wanna win so bad like i feel like i need this win not to get me to the end but to VALIDATE me bc ive worked so hard and stressed so much to get here and even if the jury tears me apart i want to be able to say that i Did something even if the something was just this.

fuck pitbull

Honestly...1. The first question on this form being, who am I? Is a loaded question, I don’t know???? Some weird a** chick who plays online games of survivor and just wants an unplanned all female FTC.  I’m too gosh darn emotional for this. What is wrong with me? 2. I’m a mess (this is really just a continuing of the first point)! First I freak out during the counting challenge cause I messed it up the first time and then I couldn’t get it together cause I’m a damn mess. Then I write diol instead of idol on my #102 in the endurance challenge. I hate pit bull. F*** puzzles and I don’t know if 23 selfies is a lot or nothing at all? Im driving myself bonkers. I called in sick today. I ate a big a** chocolate chip cookie and I still want the peanut butter bar that I was trying to save for later. F***. I shouldn’t be given three days to do anything. It’s too much time! Never thought I’d say this but TOO MUCH TIME. I’m losing my s***

https://youtu.be/tp-ZZAq5BV8

I'm just here to be sad. I can't win and I've known that, I've said all along Elmo my main competition I need to get rid of him. But I love him too much. I'm scared. I don't wanna make it to FTC and be dragged to hell and back by the jury, while Elmo sits there and gets praise. I'm so scared they're all gonna hate me. Like can Elmo just win without me being dragged please. It feels like I've put so much into this game surviving every tribal so far and being immune once, where I put in everything I had to make sure I won and it could literally all be for nothing. I could somehow make FTC and the jury just turns on me. It's kinda my biggest fear. I don't even know what I'm saying right now, I'm tired and scared. I just want this to be over with.

I’m honestly just so glad that is over. That was the hardest challenge I’ve had to do in my time. Congrats to us all for doing that damn. Chloe, Asya, and Elmo it has been a pleasure.

so. i didn’t win final immunity, which. duh.

i was really hoping to see chloe win, but of course, elmo won instead which means as far as i’m concerned, the winner of this game is already decided. i can’t lie and say i’m not mad at lily about this. she got too cocky and thought elmo wouldn’t win FIC when she took out bodhi.

chloe and i agreed to vote for her tonight, which i assume means elmo is also voting for her, even though he won’t say. not like there’s any reason to hide your vote at Final Fuckin Four but okay elmo.

the circle of life gets completed tonight. jared kills johnny, bodhi kills jared, lily kills bodhi, i kill lily, and then the jury kills me. it’s gonna be a fun time.

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Lily is voted out 3-1. She becomes the final member of the jury.

FTC in 15.... and i genuinely feel sick

as i wrote notes for myself, i started to realize that i’ve been... very hard on myself in this game. this isn’t the best game i’ve played. it wasn’t flashy, i definitely don’t have anything close to a winners edit and yes, i’m probably still getting 3rd but.

i did what i had to do. i just wanted to make it to the end and i did. i put my emotions in the back seat and made the moves that would secure me a place in the final 3. my opinion is probably gonna 180 after the jury tears me to pieces but for now i listen to 80’s music and try to tell myself i’m not gonna cry

time to get roasted by the jury