#AND i finished my christmas shopping on this trip so i deserve a treat

[mabaris]

lace harding i’m coming for u

[gatheringfiki]

The following ficlet was written by @lazysaturdayonthebeach based on this photoset.

Fili/Kili, T

You might also be able to read this story on AO3.

If you’ve enjoyed this story, please leave a comment either in replies or on AO3.

Christmas Wish

—

Fili had a huge secret.  He picked up a coffee habit in college.  So several times a week he snuck down the street to Dis’ coffee shop for a fix.  The hot brunet barista was just a bonus.

Kili, the barista, realized that he was crushing when Fili brought Frodo in one day.  Frodo asked Feewee for cocoa and a cookie.  Kili overheard and wrote Feewee on his cup from then on, always with a free shot of espresso.

Watching the blond walk out one day, Kili mentioned idly to his mother, Dis, that it would be nice to find something sexy like that under the tree for Christmas.

Dis had her own secret.  She might own a coffee shop, but she preferred tea.  Kili and Vali were the coffeeheads.  So she snuck out to Bilbo’s tea room for her favorite beverage and a weekly treat.  She noticed Kili’s crush working there too.  One afternoon, she watched Bilbo set up the wish tree and got the idea to leave a forged wish from Kili.  What she didn’t know was that the tree had a Took heirloom ornament that granted one wish every year.  Bilbo thought it was just a tale, but he set the tree up with the ornament every year because it was tradition.  He was always surprised when one of his customers claimed that they got their wish and assumed it was just coincidence.

So, Christmas morning, Fili woke up under the tree at Kili’s house.

Dis was downstairs in the coffee shop with a pot of tea and her paints.  She loved the quiet early mornings before her husband and son awoke.  She could hear Vali starting to move around, probably making pancakes for breakfast.  With a deep sign, she cleaned her brushes, closed her paints, and finished her tea.  At least she could leave the easel out because the shop was closed for the holiday.

Then the screaming started.

Thorin stumbled toward the kitchen and coffee, half awake.  Even after two and a half decades of visiting his sister and her family in this apartment, he still hadn’t memorized the early morning path to consciousness in a cup.  He tripped over something as he passed the tree.  What had his sister… 

The something under the tree stirred.

Why was there a body under the tree?  Burglar!  He pulled a sword from a wall display and screamed at the burglar.

The burglar rolled back and looked up at him, eyes wide, and screamed in terror.  Where was he and why was this wild man standing over him with a sword?

Truthfully, Thorin’s bedhead was beyond unruly, like the guy from ancient aliens, but even longer and more tousled.  It startled Kili’s father until he noticed the blond stranger under the tree.  He dropped his bowl and everyone started screaming again because they were spattered with cold, gooey pancake batter.  Kili had staggered out just in time to get a slosh of the sticky mixture across his face.

Dis entered the room and looked at the men in her life.  What had she done to deserve them?  And now there was a fourth?  She almost turned around and walked out.  With a deep breath for patience, she tried shushing them.  That did not work.  She was forced to resort to her mom voice, “What the fuck are you screaming about!?!”

All four grown men immediately silenced and looked at her, slightly frightened, except Fili who looked relieved.

As her guest, she turned to the blond first.  “Fili Baggins, why are you half naked under my Christmas tree?”

“Feewee?”  Kili whispered.

“Fili glanced at him but focused on his mother.  “I woke up here, ma’am.  I’m very confused.”

Thorin excused himself to change into batter-free clothes, and maybe to tame his hair.  Vali tried to say something but Dis turned and stared pointedly at the floor.  She had this.  He had his own mess to deal with.

She readdressed Fili.  “Are you okay?”

“Yes ma’am.  Oh!”  He realized he was still on the floor and scooted carefully away from the tree to stand, with his hands covering his front.  “I apologize for intruding on your holiday.”

‘What a polite young man,’ she thought.  “Can I call your father for you?”

“Please no, ma’am.  He’s probably busy with my little brother.  I don’t want to bother him.  I’m sure I can just run home and not be noticed.”

“In nothing but your sleep pants?  No, Thorin will go inform him and retrieve some clothing for you.”  She yelled over her shoulder, “Won’t you, dear brother?”

“Of course,” Thorin muttered, turning around in the guest room doorway for a jacket.  “Baggins?  The tea room down the block?”

Fili piped in, “Please knock on the back door.  Dad won’t hear the front bell.  We’re closed too.”

Kili returned from his room with a robe.  He handed it to Fili and asked him to sit on the couch.

Dis sank into her favorite chair.  “I think I know what happened.”  Three rapt faces turned toward her, including her husband in the kitchen pass-thru.  “But I only want to tell this once, so we’ll wait for Mr. Baggins.  Kili, perhaps you could make us all coffee, I believe you know how young Mr. Baggins here takes him.”

“Fili, ma’am,” he offered.

“Fili, then.  And that is my husband Vali doing battle with the pancakes.  Welcome.”

Kili hustled back with coffees for his mother and their guest.  Thankfully, Vali had started the coffee maker before the drama began.  He went back for a cup for himself.  By the time he returned, his Uncle Thorin was entering the room carrying a teapot wrapped in a towel.  A shorter blond gentleman accompanied him carrying a small boy.  Both the man and the boy wore pajamas in blue with pink stars that matched Fili’s pants.

“Fili!”  The older blond exclaimed,  “Are you okay?  Mr. Durin here gave me quite a shock.”

“Feewee!!” Frodo shouted and wiggled out of Bilbo’s grasp to jump into Fili’s arms.”

Thorin carefully handed over the teapot and went to the kitchen for mugs.  Bilbo frowned at the mugs but made tea for himself and Dis in them anyway.  Dis handed her untouched cup of coffee to Thorin who took it as if it happened every day.

Kili remembered Frodo and went downstairs to make him a cup of cocoa.

Dis waited until he returned to start explaining.  “Kili, here, asked for something sexy under the tree.  As a joke, I hung my wish on the tree…”

Fili looked at Kili, “You think I’m sexy?”

Kili blushed pinker than his mother’s favorite afghan, but he managed a smile at his sexy surprise.

“That’s just a tale my family has been telling for generations.” Bilbo chuckled.  “Supposedly, the white diamond-shaped ornament is magic and grants one wish every year.  It’s balderdash, but it’s fun, so I always put it on the tree.

Dis looked at him, “Then how did your son end up asleep in his pajamas under our tree?”

“Sleep walking?”

Fili looked scandalized.  “I do not!”

Bilbo huffed.

“Well, then, let’s have breakfast and just enjoy the day,” Vali announced from the kitchen.  “Please join us.”

“Thorin,” Dis smiled conspiratorially, “Why don’t you help Bilbo carry their gifts over and we can all celebrate together?”  She turned to the older blond again.  “That is, if you agree, dear Bilbo?”

Frodo was happily sitting in Fili’s lap accepting Kili’s help with the heavy mug of cocoa.  Fili looked dreamily at Kili when he thought no one was looking.  Kili still blushed.

“I think that would be fine,” Bilbo agreed, “Do you mind, Mr. Durin?”

“Thorin, please,” the tall brunet nearly begged, “I would be very happy to be with, I mean go with you.”

Now two brunets were blushing.

Bilbo handed over Fili’s pajama top and robe before heading out and Fili excused himself to put them on,  he explained that Bilbo had matching pajamas made for the family each year and that Frodo had picked out this year’s fabric.  He warned them that Bilbo had probably already absorbed them into the family and they should anticipate pajamas next year.  He couldn’t promise that the pattern would be better.

Over breakfast, then gift opening, Bilbo talked more about the ornament and the wizard Gandalf that visited.  He promised to let Dis explain this when the old man reappeared.  He couldn’t wait to watch that conversation unfold.

Twelve months later, the Baggins and Durins sat around the tree in the tea room with Gandalf.  All eight of them wore matching pajamas made of bright green flannel liberally decorated with gingerbread figures.  Fili and Kili sat shoulder to shoulder, celebrating a year together in addition to Christmas.  Thorin and Bilbo sat side by side too, but they were still figuring it out.  Everyone was very happy, especially Frodo who received a mechanical red dragon from Gandalf.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man .

~~~~~~~~~~I wish I could forget, when it was magic~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc 

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

 Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3 

Chapter 4

How do you know you’re ready for kids? 

Is it after you’re financially stable enough? After you’ve partied enough? Got all the wildness inside you tamed? After you’ve grown sick of the freedom that comes with youth and what it implies ?  after you’ve grown tired of empty conversations that lead nowhere? sharing ubers with people you barely like because you’re too drunk to drive? When you just crave the comfort of people you truly love instead of strangers who grind up on you ? Or perhaps   when you start preferring silence in the evenings to the thrumming bass in some dingy nightclub? 

None of these really. 

The truth is you’re never ready. 

Hoshi had been planned. Taehyung and I had done our homework, studied everything from my ovulation cycle to the entire catalogue of some expensive breast pump , new in the market . Everything had been researched and planned and perfected : the wood the crib would be made of, the color he wallpaper in the nursery would be and the kind of diapers and wipes we would use. 

But it still threw us for a loop....how unpredictable he was.

How unpredictable the pregnancy was. 

What I wanted : Home birth. Mid wife . Taehyung by my side holding my hand.

What i got : Preeclampsia, a baby born six weeks early, Taehyung frantic on the phone in the middle of the night as he took his private jet from Japan where he was shooting a commercial. The pain of being induced into a labor that lasted for 16 hours only for my body to give up half way through. 

A c section that left a scar and numbness that hadn’t faded even now , after four whole years. three weeks in the NICU....tears and terror after learning that the  baby in the incubator right next to Hoshi’s didn’t make it. Aching to hold my son but being forced to stare at him through the glass, wires and tubes wrapped around his tiny torso. 

And through it all, Taehyung. 

Stronger than I had ever seen him. Calm and collected as he watched me pump milk for our baby, barely managing a few measly drops of it after thirty minutes of trying . His arms around me, holding me up as I tried to fight the sheer agony that came from my stitches, tried to stay conscious for the baby. Watching him carefully pour the milk into a sterile bottle to take down to the NICU . 

Falling in love with him, over and over and over again throughout the day as he did  everything for me. 

Hoshi was loved and cherished , not just because he was an expression of our love for each other. 

But a reminder of Taehyung’s love for  me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ He’s growing out of all his clothes. I’m going to take him shopping tomorrow.”  Taehyung commented, watching Hoshi get on his tippy toes to point out the pastry he wanted from the display case, while a star struck cashier stared at Taehyung . 

Taehyung’s body guards were right near the table and while a crowd of people stood outside, none of them came too close. I was used to the attention that came with Taehyung and his celebrity status. 

“That’s a good idea. I have a couple of meetings tomorrow regarding the Christmas campaign and I may not be able to make it on the weekedn either. Is it okay if I pick him on monday evening?” I asked, cutting into the blueberry scon on my plate.

“How about I drop him off at your office. Save you the trip.” 

I hesitated, before nodding. 

“I spoke to the lawyer....she told me the papers should be processed by the end of next month. My company will make a formal announcement from both of us and we’ll say we don’t intend to answer any other media questions.”

I stared at him, watching his face carefully for something different. A sign that would explain what had changed between us because something had. I was sure of it. 

“ Why now, Taehyung?” I asked softly. 

He held my gaze for a second, eyes warm and honest. Taehyung could hide his emotions well, but his eyes always told the truth. 

“Because I’ve strung you along long enough. You deserve to be free.” He said finally.

I swallowed, looking down. 

“I ....you didn’t string me along.” I shook my head.

“I think you deserve to be loved right, without the shadow of my failures hanging over you. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life in a limbo because of one wrong choice.”

Wrong choice. 

Whose ?

His? When he chose to drink That night?

Or mine? When I chose to walk out?

Or the both of us? For handling the fallout so badly? 

I had so many questions but I didn’t say anything. 

They were question that had no answers. 

“So we move on.” I stared at him intently.

“I will always love you. I will always be there for you.” He smiled, eyes glinting a little. 

i watched him, the familiar body. He had been my first. My best. Taehyung’s body was as familiar to me as my own and I wanted to hug him, hold him close and press kisses to his lips again. It wasn’t emotional or even sexual it was just...this urge to let him know that he was loved too. that he was adored. That he would always be loved.

“But, “ he went on, “  yes. Its been two years.... so.... we should move on. Meet other people. ” 

“Fall in love again ?” I didn’t mean to sound bitter but my tone certainly was. He gave me a very tired smile and I felt guilt bubble up inside me. 

“I’m not going to be that greedy, Mia.  I will settle for just feeling a little less alone.” He looked away and my throat closed up. 

He stood up, moving to the counter to pay for the treats that Hoshi had chosen. 

And that was it. 

I watched the small tendrils of warmth, rising up from my coffee, gossamer strips of smoke mingling in the cold air and melting into nothingness. 

Here one second gone the next.

Just like my marriage. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a little past seven when I reached my apartment, my phone ringing just as I dropped my coat and unwrapped the scarf from around my neck. I moved quickly to the bedroom, pulling my phone out of my handbag. 

I picked the call, switching it to speaker before tossing my phone on the bed. 

“Hello?”

“Jang Mi...its Jungkook. You ready?”

I swore, stripping out of my clothes quickly, fumbling with my bra and yanking my panties down.

“I’m just about to shower.  Five me ten minutes!” 

He didn’t reply and I frowned.

“Jungkook??” i called opening the closet to grab a hairband and shower cap. 

“When you say you’re just about to shower...are you actually in the shower?” His voice  sounded a little deeper than usual. Weird. 

“What?” I was completely confused.

“Like are you naked in-”

Oh Christ. 

I rolled my eyes, hanging up quickly. Sleeping with Jungkook, while extremely pleasurable had definitely been a little too much too soon. It made him take too many liberties, ones I wasn’t particularly comfortable giving him yet. 

But I liked him. 

He was, at the end of the day a nice guy. 

A nice guy who had an actual interest in me. Those were rare to come by. 

It was another fifteen minutes before I was ready, choosing a plain black jumpsuit in a flowy georgette material. It had nice flowy sleeves and i added gold jewelry at my wrists and earrings, just for a little bling. I stared at the dress at all angles. It definitely hugged my curves right but was also impossibly hard to take off. 

So even if I got swayed by his good looks and made bad choices ,  by the time Jungkook undressed me , i would be able to come to my senses and stop myself from having sex with him again. 

Groaning at myself, I grabbed the small black jeweled clutch from inside my dresser, slipping my phone in.

I steered clear of make up, choosing just a deep red lipstick. 

The knock on the door came just as i finished slipping into black pumps . 

I opened the door , only to have a dozen red roses thrust into my hands. 

“Wow.” I whispered, glancing at him. He looked extra handsome, a blood red shirt clinging to his torso, a think black tie knotted at his neck. He gave me a devilish wink, eyes flitting all over me , licking his lips. 

i tamped down the urge to back away, reminding myself that I was supposed to be moving on. Even if it wasn’t with Jungkook, he had asked me out on a date and I had agreed. I would enjoy myself tonight. 

“Gorgeous. Ready?”

“Let me just put these in water...” I smiled at him, placing the stems into the cut glass decanter on the nearest table. I emptied the small bottle of water nearby into it , bending over to fix the petals when I felt him press right up against me. 

Startling, i nearly spilled the water all over the floor, breath catching when his chest met my back . I felt myself trembling a bit because of how warm he felt, even with the inches between us and I could smell him, the subtle cologne that handsome men wear , just to drive women crazy. 

The urge to lean into his body was so strong I had to clench my fists. Apparently,  my body was  very much on board with moving on even if my heart wasn’t. Jungkook made things worse by moaning into my ear, chin resting on my shoulder as he lightly gripped my waist, before reaching over with other hand, plucking one scarlet bloom from the bunch  

I swallowed as he wrapped both arms around me in a backhug , holding the bloom up in front of my face. 

“Do you like the scent of it?” His lips brushed my ear and I grinned. I hadn’t been flirted with , like this in years. I bent my head to lightly breath in the air near the bloom, enjoying the subtle scent. “It’s lovely.” I said honestly. 

He  casually broke the stem off, a couple of inches from the where the petals began. 

“Turn around for me “ Jungkook whispered in my ear again. I turned around quickly, my lips inches from his, refusing to back away, staring right at him. He smirked, bringing the flower up to the small upknot on the side of my head. 

I stayed still as he carefully pulled a single bobby pin out, sticking the stem into my hair before casually using his teeth to pry open the pin again and slotting it into my hair, pinning the flower in place. 

Apparently, watching Jungkook pin a rose into my hair was winning brownie points for him in my brain, because my entire body went warm , my heart beating faster. 

“I’m scared to ask why you’re so good at this...” I smiled and he raised an eyebrow.

“I have a daughter remember? Its a lot of ribbons and bows and pins.” He grinned. 

The idea that Jungkook did his daughter’s hair for her, with ribbons and flowers was so ridiculously endearing I wanted to coo. 

“There. Now we match.... A little.” he smiled. 

I stared at him, the black tie on his red shirt and the red rose against my black dress. 

“Smart. “ I nodded. 

“Shall we leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I had fun tonight.” Jungkook hesitated . 

The night had been so much more fun than I’d anticipated. Jungkook somehow convincing me to party crash someone’s engagement party near the pool with an open bar and ridiculous ninety’s party music. But I’d danced to my heart’s content, my hair coming undone half way through and I was only a little upset that I’d lost the red rose in the middle of people.

“I had a lot of fun too Jungkook’ah..” I smiled, honest . 

“We should do this again. Since we never got to actually talk. It was just you getting progressively drunk and dancing like you wanted to pee.” He teased and I pouted. 

I reached out and pressed a palm to his face...his skin smooth under my skin and I felt myself swaying just a little, lethargic and a little aroused from the scent of him.

“Wanna get another drink?” And then because I was completely gone and had no filter, “ If you come inside....maybe I’ll let you cum inside. if you know what I mean.....” I drawled, waggling my eyebrows. 

Jungkook’s face morphed into one of absolute shock, lips parted and then he laughed so hard he choked, coughing. 

“Wow. You  are  drunk.” He shook his head, looking amused. “ How about this.... I’ll come in and tuck you into bed and if you drink a couple of glasses of water for me, I will not tease you about this tomorrow.” He offered. 

I pouted. 

“You don’t wanna come inside...?”

“Oh baby , you have no idea how bad I wanna come inside.....but not like this” He brushed the hair off my brow, kissing my forehead...” Ask me again when you’re sober and we’ll work something out. Now let’s get you into bed.” 

I groaned as he dragged me into the bedroom. 

The moment my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~

Author’s note : Not me falling in love with the second lead in my own story ugh.  He’s gonna get a separate story. I’m gonna write a whole entire fic for CFO! Jungkook , adorable single dad of cute little girl. 

I don’t have a tag list for this fic so please do let me know if you want to be tagged !!! 

[stark-tony]

underrated irondad and spiderson fic recs part 2

part 1

Queer Eye for the Cacti by silentsaebyeok

summary: He bought one-hundred cacti on Amazon! Pepper was going to kill him!

What had possessed him to do such a thing? He never went on shopping sprees when drunk. That just wasn’t a Tony Stark type of thing to do. And in all honesty, he was astonished he even remembered the Amazon password.

--

Tony makes an interesting purchase while drunk. What he doesn’t expect is for said purchase to bite him in the ass in the worst possible way.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Tumblr Posts by Jen27ny

summary:   Literally what the title says. All the prompts and one-shots I post on tumblr.

pairings: pepperony, spideychelle

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst

warnings:

It Lasts for Always by YellowDistress

summary:  Peter has never asked anyone to kill for him, especially not Tony.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Cursed Christmas by sahiya

summary: A series of unfortunate events befalls Tony, Pepper, Peter, and Morgan (and Happy and May) in the week leading up to Christmas.

It'd be kind of funny if it didn't totally suck. Fortunately, they've got good back-up.

pairings: pepperony

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Keeping your head up by frostysunflowers

summary: It’s been a while, a long while, since Tony felt this defenceless. He’s without a suit, the manacle around his ankle is solid steel, and he can’t see a single way out.

 He’s been here before, but back then there had been tools, resources, options.

Here, there’s just the walls, his missing kid and the water. 

The water.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: kidnapping

Young, Dumb and Suffering by wordscorrupt

summary: In a moment of desperation, Peter decides to take Steve's pain medication to relieve a migraine.

or

Peter accidentally overdoses on pain medication.

pairings: none

tags: 

warnings:

Midnight Oil by JolinarJackson

summary:  After everything that has happened to Peter over the last year - or five, really - he shouldn’t be worried about something as mundane as the ACT. When he fails it, though it sends him into a spiral of self-doubt, which only gets worse when Peter realizes that he doesn’t seem to be able to fix whatever is broken.

pairings: spideychelle, pepperony

tags: hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

Love Will Remind Us Who We Are by blondsak

summary: There had been many times in Tony’s life when he’d known the piercing clarity that separated a Good Day from a Bad Day. Had known the ways in which, upon first waking, one’s soul would strike a balance between agony and relief either in your favor, or not.

But none of his earlier Good and Bad times had prepared him for his reality now.

//

Nine months after the Avengers defeated Thanos, Tony is still reckoning with the toll the final snap took on his body. Between grueling physical therapy, near-constant pain, and the inability to so much as tie his own shoes, well-- things aren’t exactly like Tony had imagined.

Luckily for him, there’s a certain kid from Queens who won’t let Tony give up so easily.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Summertime Sickness by Spideysickfics

summary: "Well, this is your lucky day, then!" Peter replied enthusiastically, putting his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest as he broke into a wide grin, "You're looking at a former Boy Scout!"

Tony let out a huff of air.

"No shit, a Boy Scout, huh? When did you quit?"

"First grade." Peter's grin didn’t waver. Tony rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"I'm sure you're very knowledgeable."

OR

An Irondad camping trip and sickfic to soothe your soul

pairings: none

tags: 

warnings: none

to break in these bones by searchingforstars

summary: “We’re gonna go play baseball? I’m not exactly a great shot, and you might have to let me out of these first,” Peter rattles his wrists around in the metal chains and they clink together, echoing around the sparse room, “but sounds like fun.

“We’re not playing baseball.”

“Shame, because I passed a park on my way here and I’m pretty sure that there’s only been like, six murders there this year so that could have been a fun spot.”

“I’m going to enjoy this, you fucked up little kid.”

“Hey, I’m not a little-” Peter starts, but he’s cut off by all the air being knocked out of his lungs as he sees the bat raised in front of him.

--

or, Peter doesn't listen to Tony, pisses off someone dangerous and ends up on the wrong end of a baseball bat.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

5 Times Peter Gave Tony Something by impravidus

summary:  and the 1 time Tony gave him something back

pairings:  none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

You'll Be Here (in My Heart) by seekrest

summary:  The morning that Tony’s life changed forever began as his days usually began now — shuffling into the kitchen half asleep, going through the motions as he searched for Pepper’s favorite coffee mug.

Tony stifled a yawn, grabbing the Black Panther novelty mug she adored while he grabbed one that Morgan had made them years ago - one that made her now cringe with embarrassment anytime she saw him use it, the childish scribbles that made him laugh.

  He sets Morgan’s creation down on the countertop as he reaches for the Black Panther mug, it being just barely out of reach for when Pepper has put it last.

“Damn thing.” Tony mutters to himself, fingers barely brushing against it before he grabs it - going to set it down on the counter only to be surprised when Pepper walks in from the bedroom, an unreadable expression on her face.

“Morning. You know, you and I need to have a talk about about your choice of mugs. I know T’Challa somehow perfected the cup warmer thing here but you could at least show a little—“

“Michelle’s in labor.”

pairings: spideychelle

tags: angst

warnings: none

the little things we don't say out loud by JBS_Forever

summary: “It's not funny,” Peter says, voice catching as he whines, “This is life or death, Ned. I'm actually dying.”

On the other end of the line, Ned sighs, amused and not at all concerned. “So you're Mr. Stark's secret Santa. It's not that bad.”

- - -

In which Peter is Tony's secret Santa, and it is, in fact, that bad.

pairings: none

tags: humor, fluff

warnings: none

Hiking Essentials: A backpack, plenty of water, and a Spider-kid by kiwifeather

summary:  Morgan, Peter, and Tony enjoy each other's company on a hike through the woods while Peter is staying with them for the weekend. Father-and-son bonding ensues

(Takes place after the snap but Tony survives because this is the good timeline and we know that Tony deserved a happy ending)

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

In Case of Emergency by Bowtiez

summary: Babysitting his little sister at the Stark's lakeside cabin seems like quite the gig for 17-year-old Peter. Of course he's got that covered- he's a mature individual and he can watch over a five-year-old for forty-eight hours.

On a totally unrelated note, did anyone know that super-healing doesn't really work on bacterial infections? It's a good thing Morgan knows what to do. Well... it's probably a good thing?

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Three Times Tony Stark Used Italian Nicknames and One Time He Received One by MCUsic_to_my_ears

summary:   Tony can't help but slip into his Italian when with his children.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

More Ancient Than Magic by ironfamjam

summary: Life isn't exactly normal when your Head of House is also kinda your father-figure and his daughter is kinda sorta your little sister.

It's also not normal when the bad guys your real-life-war-hero-not-actually-dad defeated in The Great War threaten to return and you're still just trying to finish your Charms essay.

But Professor Stark asked him to protect Morgan. And that's what he's going to do.

Even if it breaks him.

The mini Hogwarts AU

pairings: spideychelle, pepperony

tags: fluff, angst

warnings: torture

Peaches by peterparkr

summary: There’s no response, not even a faint twinge of muscle. Peter tries to listen for a heartbeat, but he can’t seem to focus enough to pinpoint it. Another bubble of thought starts to rise. This could be the reason his spidey-sense is going haywire. Tony could be—

He pushes the bubble down.

OR

Peter and Tony find themselves stranded in the woods after an Avengers mission

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Snowflakes by Jen27ny

summary:  Tony just wants to see his kids happy - which means letting Morgan stick as many snowflakes to the window as she likes, and making Peter talk about his nightmares.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

I Sure Do Like Those Christmas Cookies by baloobird

summary: Tony is spending a fun afternoon baking cookies with his kids, but his older one isn't acting like himself.

Whatever the problem is, it's up to the now-retired hero to figure it out.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: bullying, acephobia

An MIT Halloween by bethy_277

summary: Coming to MIT had been difficult, having almost lost his mentor when he had snapped to save the entire universe, and Peter had really struggled. If it hadn’t been for Ned and Harley- who he had met shortly after he came back and become good friends with- he didn’t think he would have made it past the first few weeks at school. He had called both May and Tony that first week, hysterical and begging to come back to New York. May had been patient, Tony had been ready to get in his car to drive to him to help him through it, and Harley and Ned had been there and talked him down both times.  

** Peter is a college student at MIT and Tony brings Morgan up for some trick-or-treating.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Someone Take Me Home by GallagherHunter

summary:  More than a month since May's death Peter is having a less than stellar day at school in the hopes of making it through the day so he can get to the apartment where he's been living with Tony since his world came crashing around him. Meanwhile, Tony has been advised to adopt Peter to assure him he won't leave him.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: bullying

It’s Gonna Be Lit by Pawprinter

summary: What Christmas gift does one get for the man who seemingly has everything?

Peter is struggling to find out.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

I'll Be Home For Christmas by snarkymuch

summary:  May gets called away for work, and Tony steps in to make sure Peter isn't alone for Christmas. Harley, Morgan, and Peter being adorable kids, and Tony being a great dad.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

The power of makeup by SparrowFlight246

summary: Peter shows up to a prestigious awards ceremony with a black eye and a whole lot of regret.

Tony raids Pepper's purse and decides to improvise.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

if you'll be my star, i'll be your sky by ftmpeter

summary: There are two things Tony learns about Peter after Morgan is born.

The first thing is that when it comes to kids, he's a natural.

The second thing is that he's a self-sacrificing little shit.

(Tony already knew that. He has the gray hairs to prove it. But. Still.)

It isn't the kind of self-sacrificing that will get him killed or seriously injured - thank God - but it's just as annoying. Maybe even more, because while he can ground Peter from Spider-Man, he can't exactly ground him from staying up all night to make sure Morgan sleeps through it.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

give the cookies a miss by searchingforstars

summary: “Surprise!” Morgan exclaims as soon as they’re both in the room. She gestures excitedly towards a few slightly sad looking lumps of something drenched in icing and severed onto sticks. There are sprinkles as well, which look like they might have been a nice touch to cheer the entire thing up, had the majority of them not ended up scattered around the surrounding bench space.

“Daddy and I made cookie pops! Well, I made them, he just helped me use the big scary whisk-y thingy. They’re for Katie’s birthday party tomorrow because we all have to bring something yummy to eat, and Daddy wanted to do regular cookies but I told him that was boring. So we made these instead!”

--

or, Peter is poisoned by the ones he trusts most.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

i want to be with you 'til the whole world ends by searchingforstars

summary: The last thing he does as his eyes slip shut is wrap his arms tighter around Peter, as tight as he can manage when it feels like the life is draining from him.

Please, for the love of God, I'm sorry I couldn't do it, but please, please, someone look after this kid for me.

Tony would give anything to make sure that Peter Parker is safe.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much left to give. He’s about to have nothing left to give.

The world goes dark.

He drifts away.

--

Or, Peter and Tony nearly lose each other.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Of bright autumn days and things that go bump in the night by frostysunflowers

summary: Halloween/fall themed fics featuring plenty of fluff, feels and seasonal shenanigans!

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor, angst

warnings: none

Twelve Days of Terror: A Whumptober Collection by seekrest

summary:

pairings: spideychelle

tags: 

warnings: 

[lunarliza]

Fake Boyfriend | Chapter 1: Two Truths and a Big Fat Lie

JJ x Kook!reader Series 

You’re a Kook Princess who has everything you ever wanted... until your handsome Kook Prince dumps you for a hot new fling. To save your reputation, you bribe the one person he hates the most, JJ Maybank, to pretend to be your boyfriend for the summer. All’s fair in love and war. But where do you draw that line when you’re suddenly wishing your fake boyfriend is your real one?

ahh yes, my third rendition of a fake dating/enemies to lovers story. this is just a short lil intro but i’m excited for this series! 

“He did what?” 

“Yup, broke up with me right over the phone,” you repeated to your hairstylist, Boris, who almost snipped off a chunk of your locks in utter shock. 

“What a complete asshole!” Boris groused, clipping away at your dead ends, “What did you say after? Please tell me you told him off and slashed his tires or I have failed as a mentor.” 

“Well I was so angry and shaken up I didn’t know what to say,” you pouted, “So I just said whatever and hung up.” 

It had been a couple days since your nasty break up with your ex-boyfriend who blind-sided you and ended things out of nowhere. Needless to say, you were a cluttered mess and this was your favorite form of therapy: self care, a new hair color, and mindlessly ranting to Boris-- the one person on the island who would absolutely destroy anyone who did you wrong. 

“Y/n!” he droned, “How are you gonna let him end a two year relationship and just say ‘whatever’? No, you need to get to slashing right after I fix you up or else you’ve missed your Carrie Underwood moment!” 

You sighed. “I know I should’ve gone all psycho bitch on him, but I didn’t want it to seem like I care all that much! Besides,” you mumbled the next part, “he’s got a new girl already.” 

The grown man nearly dropped his shears. “Already?! This just happened like two days ago!” 

“I know,” you cringed, “My friends came over last night to investigate her Instagram. I think she’s their family friend or something. Word on the Eight is that she’s here for the summer from California and is staying at his house.” 

Boris scoffed and tossed his finished scissors on the counter in frustration, starting up the curling iron. “So he dumped you after two years and dates someone else a day after?” he shook his head, “Unbelievable. He probably had her on the side when you guys were together too. Honey, you’re so much better off without him.” 

“Yeah, you’re right!” you agreed cooly-- as if you weren’t bawling and moping over old camera roll pictures just minutes before pulling up to the salon. 

Boris lightly blow dried your newly dyed hair while you admired it through the mirror. “I like this color a lot,” you commended, “I was a little iffy that it wouldn’t look right, but I knew you’d work your magic.” 

Your freshly manicured hands played with the ends before Boris began curling the back strands. 

“You deserve it, sweetie. Forget about that piece of trash and move on with your life! You have all summer to find a new beau,” he chimed, “Where are you going tonight again?” 

“Just dinner with the girls. My friend Sarah’s dad got us reservations to Chalet Basque so we’ll definitely be treating ourselves.” 

You giggled when he began doing fake French impressions of the servers. Leave it to him to lighten your mood during trying times. When he finished the last curl, he basked you in a hairspray that smelled like rosewater and spun you in the seat for the final ‘voila’ moment. 

Boris never failed to make you feel like a full-on beauty queen during your weekly glam seshs. 

As he undid the little cape around you, you spotted a familiar combo of tall dark and handsome waltz through the front door from the corner of your eye.

“Shit,” you cursed, a little louder than intended, and shielded your face, “It’s him! And he brought the girl!” 

Boris’ eyes widened. “That’s her?” he yelled-whispered, eyeing the couple that just plopped down in the waiting area, “Oh you’re so much prettier.” 

You smiled and covertly peeked over at them-- the island’s new supposed ‘power couple’. You almost hurled when you heard kids on the Eight were coining them that name. 

There he sat, Max Vega, in all his preppy, muscular, Spanish-rooted glory. He was even wearing the expensive polo you got him last Christmas. Oh, he looked so cute with his jet black hair slightly slicked back with a single strand hanging on his forehead. Just the way you loved it. 

Tucked under his arm was his new trophy girl. Her beach-waved blonde hair came all the way down to her perfectly shaped hips and her tan model legs draped across his while they watched some video together on his phone. 

Your heart sank at the way he tapped her nose when he said something cute to her. The same way he used to do to you. 

Before you could turn away, his chestnut eyes met yours and he stiffened. You hurriedly tried to avert your gaze, but saw him begin walking over to you through Boris’ giant mirror nonetheless. 

“Y/n!” he greeted, coming up behind you.

“Max! Oh what a surprise!” you mimicked his fake seething enthusiasm, whipping around the chair. 

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I didn’t think I’d run into you here.”  

You held back a scoff. As if you hadn’t made weekly trips to the place to get your hair, nails, and eyebrows done since you were ten. You seriously wondered sometimes if you were truly in love him or if he was just pretty. 

His girl stood a little behind him, clutching onto his toned arm like a shy little bunny. “Anyways,” he snaked his hand to the small of her back, “This is Anya. She’s my dad’s partner’s daughter from Huntington Beach and is staying in our guest house for the summer.” 

The giant perky blonde straightened her back and held out her hand, that wasn’t wrapped around your ex-man, to you. “Hey girl! It’s so nice to meet one of Max’s friends!” 

You heard Boris lightly gag in the background and had to suppress your impending laughter. 

With all the willpower you could muster up, you rose from the chair and put on the most forced smile you have ever done. “I’m y/n, nice to meet you too.” 

“So uh, you look nice,” Max noted at your elaborate hairdo, “What’s the occasion?” 

“I-” 

“She’s actually going on a date tonight,” Boris butted-in as-a-matter-of-factly. You whisked your head around to the man, giving him a frantic ‘wtf’ look.

Max wrinkled his brows. “Oh... well that’s nice. Who with?” 

You racked your brain for a name. Any name. 

Briefly, you glanced out the shop window and caught a glimpse of a trio skipping by outside. One of your friends, Kiara Carrera, linked arms with two of her best guy friends as they munched on ice cream cones from next door. Your eyes fixated on a certain blonde boy in a snapback and untucked black button up.

Bingo. 

“Uh, it’s with JJ. JJ Maybank. You know him right?” you brought up slyly. 

Your ex was definitely taken aback- especially at the mention of the one guy he despised most on the island. “Oh, what? W-Wow,” he sputtered, “I didn’t know you guys talked like that.” 

“Yeah, I mean it just kind of happened. Sarah set us up,” you continued to fib, crossing your arms. You felt bad having to lie like that, but the look of pain and confusion on Max’s face almost made it worth it. 

Almost. 

Before he could pry any further, the nail technician called for Anya from the other side of the salon. 

She cheered and bid you goodbye before yanking Max along with her to get their couple’s treatment. The same one he refused to get with you no matter how many times your begged. Who knew all it took was a leggy blonde with a butt thrice the size of yours to do the trick. 

You sighed in relief once they disappeared to the pedicure station and smacked Boris’ arm. “What’d you do that for?! A date?! He had to know I was lying!”

“Ow!” he rubbed his tattooed arm, “Look, if he’s moving on, then you gotta act like you are too. Trust me, you’ll thank me later for this.” 

----------------------------------------

note: lowkey basing the girl off of cher horowitz from clueless lmao. anyways chapter two to come

chapter two

[julyarchives]

masterlist!

key: ✿ (fluff) | ♡ (smut) | ✰ (angst) | ✻ (horror)

Requests are open!

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? 

Pairing: Changgu (Yeo One) x Reader | Kino x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07• 08

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upside down, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

Teach Me Series 

Pairing: Wooseok x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04

Friends with benefits to lovers

A collection of friends to lovers that can be read as a multi-chapter story or independent one-shots

Thicker Than Blood

Pairing: OT9 x Reader 

Index: 01 • 02 • 03

Mafia AU

Growing up in a tough neighborhood had you learning to deal with hard situations, the occasion leads you to cooperate with the mafia organization that took care of your neighborhood - Pentagon. Looking after yourself and valuing your safety brought you to adapt to the moment, but the line between working for them and protecting yourself is very blurry when you are forced to live under their roof.

Christmas Lights Special  ✿ 

Pairing: Reader x OT9

Index: Here

2020 Christmas inspired fluffy one-shots to warm your heart during the winter season

REDAMANCY ♡  Hui x Reader x Yeo One

(n) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

When your boyfriend Hui wasn’t treating you right, you didn’t expect someone else to do so. And you definitely did not expect Hui was going to be there to watch everything.

[or the one where Changgu shows your boyfriend how you deserve to be treated, and he likes it.]

The Things We Do In The Dark ♡  Hui x Reader x Hongseok

Treating yourself with an expensive night out turned out to be way more rewarding than you thought when you meet the two hot club owners Hui and Hongseok.

Eyes on me  ♡  Hongseok x Reader x Wooseok

You always knew your friendship with Wooseok was really special, and the best part is that your boyfriend Hongseok wants to always make you happy. Who are the best people to take such good care of you if not your two favorite boys in the world?

Love Is Plural  ♡ Yanan x Reader x Wooseok

Dealing with two boyfriends might be tricky, but the advantages of having twice the fun make everything better.

Triple Fun ♡ Yuto x Reader x Wooseok

An uneventful movie night ends up becoming way more fun than you would have imagined

Watch Me ♡ Shinwon x Reader x Hui

An open relationship takes a lot of trust and friendship, and that is not a problem for you and your boyfriend Shinwon, especially when he's so cool about your crush on one of his best friends - Hui.

Mixtapes and Love letters ✿ Jinho x Reader x Hui

A mix-up of feelings makes a mix-up of letters, but much to your surprise, Jinho and Hui come through with their feelings for you.

             (One-Shot)

Lee Hwitaek (Hui)

Take Me Higher  ♡ You're assigned for a different flight than you were used to, but once you saw Hui there you knew it was going to be a fun trip.

Sweet Melody  ♡ You showed up at your boyfriend’s band practice to support and take care of him and seeing how tired he was, you just had to do something to boost his energy and reward him after such hard work.

High Heels and Night Skies ♡ "My lifestyle demands certain appearances that would be much better with you accompanying me, and I can provide everything you need to. You would have to be available and ready for our…" he paused  "dates"

"So you want to be my sugar daddy?" You scoffed, more amused than offended.

Complicated ♡ Your ex gets really jealous after seeing you flirting with someone else at a party, and he makes sure you don't forget anymore who do you belong to.

Jo Jinho (Jinho)

Wonderfully Wrong  ✰ ✿  When you thought your boyfriend Jinho forgot your anniversary it really upset you, but later that night you realized how wrong you were

Closer ♡ You thought you would be nervous on your first time with your boyfriend Jinho, but everything about being with him is simply perfect.

Skinny Love ✿  You didn't understand why your roommate was so angry when his friends started interacting with you, but everything was clear when he decided to be honest with you

Baby, pull me closer ✰♡ If you had ever believed in soulmates, it was because of Jo Jinho. When you were just hanging out at a bar with a few coworkers on a Friday night, the last thing you expected was to be confronted with your past.

Yang Hongseok (Hongseok)

Reuniting ♡ Coming back home and meeting with your best friend, you weren’t expecting the night to take such a surprising turn.

Lazy Days and Loving Touches ♡ Doing nothing with your boyfriend can be interesting when your boyfriend is Hongseok.

Meant To Be ✰ ✿ You didn’t think you would have to deal with past feelings until you meet your ex-boyfriend Hongseok, right after your current boyfriend proposes to you.

Ko Shinwon (Shinwon)

Warm Water, Slow Hands ♡ After having a rough day at work, a relaxing bath prepared by your boyfriend Shinwon is the best thing you could have asked for. 

Late Night Gym ♡ Going to the gym isn’t always the part of the night you look forward to the most, but after you started flirting with Shinwon things just might work out well for you. 

Focus ♡ Your boyfriend Shinwon puts you in your place when you lash out at him after a bad day, and you love every second of it.

Play For The Win ✿ Shinwon and you discover a common passion and it turns out that the soccer stadium is the perfect place to fall in love

Just Breathe ✿ When the world seems to be closing around you, your boyfriend Shinwon is the only one who can make you feel like breathing again

Yeo Changgu (Yeo One)

Drip ♡ Seeing Changgu looking so handsome at a wedding leads you two to a steamy shower after the party.

Elysian  ♡ Spending Valentine’s day with your boyfriend is always special, and Changgu knows how to make you happy in every possible way.

So Bad  ✿ You couldn’t find a better way to put your feelings into words, so you let a song speak for you when you couldn’t hold back your feelings for Changgu.

Lovers In The Night  ♡ Dating an idol is already hard, and when you debut it gets even harder, but your boyfriend Changgu knows just how to make up for all the time spent apart

Yan An (Yanan)

Scintilla ♡ Having to deal with the most handsome and cocky nemesis can be fun when that person is Yanan

Sparke (Scintilla pt.2) ♡ Falling for your enemy can be dangerous, but Yanan doesn't make it easy to just forget about him.

Lunar Love  ♡ Stuck between forbidden love and duty to the kingdom, decisions under the moonlight may change everything

Oblivious ✿ It all feels right when you and Yanan admit you love each other more than friends.

Adachi Yuto (Yuto)

Halloween Party  ♡ At a Halloween party, you had let your insecurities take the best of you, but Yuto showed you that there was nothing to be ashamed of. 

Vorfreude  ♡ Vorfreude (n). The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.

Into You ✿ First dates can be a little awkward, so you thought that a carnival would be a good place to make it fun, and Yuto definitely is the best company for that.

In The Dark ✿ Late-night feelings always seem more intense, but it's better when they are mutual.

Fireworks In My Heart ✿ going to a lantern festival with Yuto

Afterglow ♡ comforting Yuto after he's had a long day.

Kang Hyunggu (Kino)

Die For You ✻ Being taken hostage turns out to be what you needed to find what you have always been looking for.

Earned It  ♡ Secretly dating the Teacher’s Assistant has its perks, especially when you two get the classroom all by yourselves and he enjoys his new pet name.

Among Flowers ♡  If you had to pick a favorite place on earth, it would be your boyfriend’s flower shop. A new relationship can come with a few insecurities, but nothing that would be a problem for you and Hyunggu

Something About You ♡  Visiting Hyunggu in his studio ends up with you helping him finish his song in the best way you could have thought.

Blossom ✿ You can see all the colors perfectly, except your soulmate’s favorite, but you were a little skeptical about that. You just didn’t expect to be proven wrong when your best friend’s brother takes you on a fake date.

Sunrise ✿ Spending the night getting to know Hyunggu better is as sweet as it sounds.

Jung Wooseok (Wooseok)

DO or NOT ♡ To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU

Come With Me ♡ Your boyfriend Wooseok tries to convince you to move in with him with a very compelling argument.

Safe Place ✿ Wooseok comforts you after you second guess your attitudes on a drunken night.

Third Time Is The Charm ✿ Two times you and Wooseok didn't kiss, and one time you did.

Play With Fire ♡ Working with Pentagon becomes harder when Wooseok notices you. It doesn't help that he looks extremely hot in the new concept.

Teach Me ♡  The boys were making fun of Wooseok for not being as experienced as them, and since you two have always been good friends, you decided it was a good idea to give him the help he needs.

Secret Rendezvous ♡ After the last encounter, Wooseok was acting a little weird and distant, but the boys made sure to help you two get closer again. Really closer.

Impulsive ♡ A lot of things go through your head when you think about your relationship with Wooseok - and so you feel very conflicted. You two can’t help but go for each other every time you are together, but where will that lead you two?

[ineloqueent]

the whole of the moon

Platonic!Queen x Reader

cannot remember where this gif is from. if it’s yours, drop me a line!

synopsis: a late-night shopping trip goes awry...

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking

word count: 1.8k

a/n: happy birthday, dearest vi ( @doing-albri​ )!! i hope you have a wonderful day, because you deserve it. i’m sorry this is so short; i’ve been terribly busy, for whole months, it seems. but i’ve done my best, and i hope you’ll enjoy it. inspired by this song <3

⭒

1975

“Just like old times,” said Roger happily, cranking up the music and beginning to tap his fingers on the steering wheel.

Brian immediately grimaced, and reached over to turn the volume down again.

“Hey!” Roger smacked Brian’s hand away from the knob, and you laughed, from your place between John and Freddie in the backseat.

Brian turned his head to wink at you.

“Some of us need our hearing to be able to play, Rog,” he said.

John wrinkled his nose, flexing his fingers as he shifted a ring from his pointer to his pinky, and back again. “You’ve still got yours left?”

Brian looked confused. “Yeah..?”

“Oh,” said John, with an air of sarcasm, “that’s right. You’re the one who talked our ears off yesterday.”

Now Brian looked miffed. “Just because you don’t understand zodiacal light, doesn’t mean it’s uninteresting.”

Deacy rolled his eyes.

“No offense, darling,” Freddie sighed, “but if you say one more word about science before we’ve finished this champagne-run, I’m going to climb over the console and strangle you.”

Roger guffawed, and John grinned so broadly one would’ve thought him a small child on  Christmas morning.

“Fine,” said Brian, miffed. “I won’t talk at all.”

“Good riddance,” Roger muttered, and Brian crossed his arms.

“Why did I agree to going with you all, again?”

You leaned forward to tug on one of his curls, and Brian whirled, startled, pushing his fingers into his hair. He relaxed when he saw it was only you. “To be the voice of reason, of course,” you told him.

He smiled. “You’re not wrong.”

Roger grumbled, “Don’t boost his ego, sweetheart.”

“Too late,” said Freddie. “He’s going to start talking about time dilation any moment now.”

“Time dilation?” Brian asked. “Hadn’t even thought of that. But if you really want to know—”

A collective groan rose from the other three, and you laughed again.

You loved this.

You loved them.

You loved travelling the world with your four best friends, watching them live their dreams, and getting to be a part of that reality, the reality no one could ever have thought would take on such a life of its own.

Tour life could be hectic at times, but you wouldn’t have given it up for the world.

Not when you arrived in a ramshackle town where the nicest place in sight was the funeral home, not when your legs felt tired enough to give out from beneath you, as you stood watching the show from the wings, for the umpteenth night in a row.

Because when John decided to put on a record, he always asked for your opinion, and picking Roger’s outfit was as much your job as it was his, and when Brian and Freddie played to the crowd as though they were old friends, it was like you held the world in the palm of your hand.

Even if the four of them argued constantly.

As the van suddenly swerved, and the three of you in the back clung to each other in terror, Brian said crossly, “Jesus, Roger, watch the road!”

“I am!” protested the drummer, and Brian grumbled a response in the negative.

“You absolutely are not,” said Freddie, hanging onto the headrest of Brian’s seat. “And I refuse to die in the middle of nowhere, thank you very much, so you can keep your eyes forward if you want to still be in the band by tomorrow night.”

Roger rolled his eyes, and made a blah blah blah gesture with his hand. But he was clearly not as adept at multitasking as he thought, because a moment later, Deacy cried,

“Watch out for that deer!”

“Yes, Roger, slow down,” said Brian warningly. “I swear I will murder you in cold blood if you kill that deer.”

“What deer?” Roger squinted. “I don’t see a— DEER!”

He swerved so violently this time that your seatbelt dug into your skin, and you pushed against the seatbacks to keep from falling forward.

The van hurtled off the side of the road, but Roger had somehow managed to slow the vehicle significantly before the swerve, and so the off-road trip would have been only a momentary pause in your journey into town.

Had it not been for the barbed wire lying in the grass.

The tyres of the van had surely seen better days, after so many miles on the road, and you felt the moment all four of them punctured.

Roger gripped the steering wheel for dear life, and Brian, struggling to combat inertia, had both hands on the dashboard, one knee against the console and other against the door, whilst Freddie still clung to the headrest, and John pushed at the back of Roger’s seat. You, stranded in the middle, failed to maintain any sort of position.

The van ploughed forward like a tidal wave, into the field by the road, then sank abruptly to a stop with a whumph, when the last of its momentum had been wasted.

There was a silence as you looked around the car, at Roger’s tousled hair and Brian’s wide eyes, Freddie’s gritted teeth and John’s crooked collar.

Then the shouting started.

“Roger you moron!”

“How the hell did you not see that coming?!”

“I’ve told you, I need to get my eyes checked!”

“Well, kindly do it before you kill us all!”

“I’ve seen 90-year-old women drive better than you do!”

“Fuck off, Brian! If you hadn’t—”

“We’re never going to get that champagne!”

You all turned to Freddie.

“Really,” you said, “you’re thinking about Moët et Chandon right now?”

Freddie shrugged. “Seems we’d all be in better humour if we’d had the option to have a glass before we left.”

“Or maybe,” Brian drawled, “we’d all be dead, because Roger can barely drive when he’s sober.”

Roger was fuming, bright red in the face with a will to speak but no adequate words to suit, and he looked as though if he stayed silent for a moment longer, he would try to throw a punch at Brian.

Brian, to his credit, folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, and stared Roger down.

Laughter broke the silence, and you all turned to find John completely beside himself with amusement.

He did not stop laughing until he was wiping tears from his eyes, and by then, you had begun smiling too.

“What,” barked Roger.

Deacy shook his head, his soft hair flying about his face. “Don’t any of you see how funny this is?”

“Funny..?” asked Brian cautiously.

“Well,” said Deacy, “are any of you hurt?”

You looked around, tallied the appearances of everyone in your head.

“No,” you replied.

“Okay, then listen: we ran out of champagne, so, despite the fact that it was half-past eleven at night, we all piled into a sort of run-down van, without security, without crew, and set off to buy a bottle of champagne. We’d been driving for all of five minutes before we started arguing the first time, and half an hour into the trip, Roger drives us off the side of a road after Brian finishes rambling about science—”

“Astrophysics, actually—”

“—and all four tyres puncture,” John went on. “And now, we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

There was a pause.

But despite everything, John was right. This really was funny.

You started to laugh as well, and Deacy grinned at you until both Freddie and Brian were smiling, and the corner of Roger’s mouth tugged upward as his colour faded.

Brian sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls. “So, now what?”

“Spare tyres?” you suggested.

“About that…” Roger mumbled.

“Oh, dear god,” Freddie said, dropping his head to his hands.

John laughed again, and Brian made a noncommittal noise.

“So we walk,” you said.

Freddie shook his head. “I am not walking on the side of a road in the middle of the night.”

Roger wrinkled his nose too. “Bloody insects,” he muttered, “get in your hair.”

“And Brian’s stretched his hamstring again,” said Deacy. You glanced over at Brian, who winced apologetically. He wasn’t one to complain, though; you’d all but forgotten his incapacity.

“Which just leaves just you and me,” Deacy nodded to you.

“I dunno, Deacs,” you made a face. “Freddie’s onto something, about not walking on the side of a deserted road in the pitch black. And,” you continued, before John could object, “you’re not going on your own. We’ll simply have to wait until morning.”

Everyone seemed lost in thought.

“Right,” Brian said, “that’s it.” He pulled on the handle of the passenger door, and it clicked open. “We’re sleeping under the stars.”

“Not this again!” Roger cried, but Brian reprimanded him.

“I think you’ve said enough for the time being, Rog.”

The heavy door slammed behind Brian, and you could hear the boot being opened.

“He’s right, you know,” John remarked, in a rare display of solidarity with the guitarist.

Roger only sniffed.

A few seconds later, Brian knocked on Freddie’s window.

“Come on, then!” he said, smilingly. “I’m only sorry none of us brought our instruments.”

Deacy widened his eyes at you. “Thank god for that.”

You laughed and pushed him lightly, toward his door, and when he’d hopped out, you followed.

You rounded the car with John, to find Brian already staring up at the sky, as Freddie and Roger joined you as well.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Brian murmured.

You turned your face to the sky, and saw what he meant.

There was no light pollution here, no skyscrapers or tall houses to obstruct the view, and the world above stretched on endlessly, a plethora of life above your heads. It was so very bright, and yet so very far away. It was indeed beautiful.

You breathed the night air, and nodded.

“I found a picnic blanket,” Brian added, holding it up, “and apparently, Crystal keeps a chocolate stash, so we’ve got that too.” He then sank into the grass, stretching out his long legs, entirely without regard for the light blue suit he wore, and Freddie looked on in distaste.

“That’s no way to treat perfectly good fashion, darling. Now, if it’d been that horrible knitted sweater of yours, and those old, tatty velvet trousers, I’d have said otherwise, but that there is a perfectly good—”

“Sit down, Freddie,” you said, and Freddie closed his mouth and sat. You made your way over to Brian, who had now reclined completely, his fingers winding absently in the pale grass.

Soon, you were all sprawled in the field, which, funnily enough, was peppered with moonflowers, and you sighed, utterly at ease with the peacefulness of the scene around you: your family, the sky, the stars, and the whole of the moon. It shone radiantly this night, full and subtly tinged with orange, warmth softening the usual coldness of its light.

“Spare some of that chocolate?” John whispered from beside you.

You nudged Brian, who passed over the wrapped sweets, which you then handed to John.

Roger was placated by the sharing of the chocolate, and Freddie seemed perfectly content to laze about in a manner similar to that of one of his many cats. The latter fell asleep within minutes, having stolen Roger’s jacket.

It wasn’t long before only you and Brian remained awake, gazing up at the stardust which spilled from the heavens, and the world was quiet.

Brian shifted slightly, and you turned your head to find him looking at you.

A soft smile touched his lips, and his cheeks were rosy in the blue-dark.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said.

You could not help but smile back, because your heart was as full as it had ever been.

“I’m glad I’m here too,” you whispered.

[nalufever]

do you have any more nalu fic recs?

Sorry, not sorry - you’ve unleashed more than you could’ve guessed. ^^ Always happy to Recommend a List of Fics ~ And thank you for asking! Admittedly there’s a few Recs that aren’t Nalu - I got excited to share my favs. ;)

A Girl Worth Fighting For: Natsu navigates unspeakable horrors to win Lucy’s love or Natsu goes shopping, looking for the perfect white day gift. 

A Lesson: Natsu and Lucy can’t keep themselves from expressing their passions - and the results are bed breaking. Short but smutty - smexy in fact. ;P 

A Solidly Constructed Kiss: Erza strong-arms Lucy and Natsu into working the Kissing Booth to raise funds for a school trip. Lucy’s never been kissed and Natsu acts like he’s never entertained even the idea of kissing another person. Things naturally come to a head when Lucy and Natsu are given the task to build the actual booth; will they fight over construction or build themselves some kind of relationship? 

Fairy Tail Week: A collection of drabbles from tumblr prompts to celebrate Fairy Tail. Fairy, Ladies, Lads, Magic, Guild, Ultimate Team, Stronger, Mashima, Tail. Only rated teen to err on the side of caution, family friendly content featuring most of the Fairy Tail Guild! 

Feathers and Scales: Angel/Demon AU. Devils are more than they seem and Angels no less. Pitted against each other in a never-ending battle for souls, a single Angel and Devil trade mercies and fall in love. Warning: major character death(s). 

Full Moon Secret: Natsu had wanted to tell Lucy his secrets, to share his family history with the fey…it had just never been the right time. Tonight the truth was going to be revealed, one way or another. 

Okay, I could just keep hyping all of my own fics individually - but I won’t - other than to just put in a link to ALL OF THEM. ;) Fair warning, I have a few other fandoms works in all the Fairy Tail stories - from Brooklyn 99 to The Flash, Snow White with the Red Hair, RWBY, Blue Exorcist, Teen Titans and some Hakuouki. Yes, I’m a shameless self-promoter. Speaking of that - one more I need to rec!  Natsu’s Stars in Lucy’s Sky. I swear Imma finish this. 

I also have more than a few favourite authors who write for Fairy Tail (and other fandoms) ~ some have not contributed lately to Fairy Tail or chosen to concentrate on other fandoms - but I like them and their excellent writing. 

ObsessedwithNalu: One of my first fandom friends and pretty much any of her FT stories is gold. @obsessedwithnalu  

Christmas Treats: Admittedly a gift to me and very cherished for that fact - and - it’s frigging awesome. Lucy does a little holiday baking at home before Fairy Tail’s Christmas party. Natsu, as always, is there. One thing leads to another… 

Thanks, Krov: When Krov decided to relax at his favorite bar after work, he never imagined that he’d be seeing some of his old guild members, especially since he thought they had died long ago. Nalu fluff. 

Edo-Nalu love fest: Submissions for the Nalu love fest week of 2014. But instead of regular Nalu, these ones feature Edo-Nalu. Smut-tastic and delightfully mature. 

ImpracticalDemon: Another early fandom friend who’s still writing this, that and the other thing - and she’s just GREAT. Again, a link to all her works and a few that are special to me follow. XOXOX @impracticaldemon  

May the Best Man Survive: “Gray would never have in a million years thought he’d host Natsu’s bachelor party (Nalu pairing). Why is it his job to herd the bunch of rowdy mages from bar to bar, ending up at the guild where the real surprise party is? Oh yeah, the idiot had asked him to be the best man at his wedding. Hijinks, chaos and hilarity ensue.” ^^ A prompt supplied by me and I’m smirking so wide because the fic Imp came up with delivered more awesomeness than I could have hoped for! 

A Star At His Side: “Accidentally Fall Asleep Together” for Endragoneel on tumblr. Natsu and Lucy spend the day together at a festival in Magnolia. Natsu ends up watching more than just the stars when the festival is over… 

Christmas Gifts: When Erza walks Wendy home from the Guild’s Christmas Party, Wendy realizes how alone her friend and mentor is feeling. She sets out to recruit Lucy, Natsu and the rest to break Jellal out of prison for just one night, as a Christmas gift for Erza. Meanwhile, Natsu has accidentally burned some of Lucy’s writing. Will she forgive him? 

Dark Shining Light: One of the best and most welcoming writers I have ever interacted with! I’m still gobsmacked she’s a friend! She’s a legend and I don’t know what else I could add to any discourse about her writing - but the classics are classic for a reason, yeah? Here’s a few of my personal favourites of her works and just know there’s too many to list them all! AKA @ff-darkshininglight 

Mischievous Cat: Let’s just say there have been a few incidents where Happy has come in at a bad time. 

What Belongs to a Demon: Everyone knew she belonged to the great demon lord and she would prove that she deserved to stand by his side. 

The Truth Revealing Cards: Lucy should have known if there was a card that would reveal her secrets, Natsu would want it. 

Eliz1369: Got introduced to her for her Hakuoki fics but she’d dipped her toes into FT as well ~ and this is a great fic. ^^ @eliz1369 

The Light of Fairy Tail: The members of Fairy Tail may be their own brand of crazy, but their hearts are always in the right place. 

rougescribe: Shame on me for not reading more of this author’s works! @rougescribe  

Fire Sprite No 5: For him, Heaven wasn’t a place or a single moment in time. It was a feeling built on memories upon memories, past and present and a hope for future ones all tied down together. All sharing one common denominator: Her. Nalu. Tumblr Valentine’s Event. 

Fallen Ark Angel: Admittedly I only have interacted from afar with this writer. I mainly read Nalu fics but I love her take on Mira and Laxus and her next gen offspring characters. She’s got a lot to offer and it’s all superb. @fallen029

Loving Satan: Loving Satan is never easy. But when she loves you back, its twice as bad. 

Madartiste: Another one-sided love affair with someone else’s writing. And her stories are all wonderful and prolly appear on hundreds of Fic Rec Lists - but here’s one of my Favs! @madartiste  

Hoarding: Getting interrupted gets old fast. 

UranoMetria: I added her to my stable of fav authors 05-03-2014. Wow. Eons ago and even if I’m not sure she’s still active in the fandom, I salute her. Kudos. 

The Goddess Gate: With six years of partnership, Natsu and Lucy are torn apart by a mysterious visit from a secret magic council. Lucy is kidnapped and her memories suppressed. She fights her way back home to regain her life - with a startling secret revealed as she begins to remember. The lives of all Earthland hang in the balance. **Okay, this is a wicked old fic - but amazingly written and fuelled my own desires for writing. Last updated in 2018 but who knows? Some current attention may slay any demons on her back in regards to writing - and even if not - the hours of enjoyment reading this is worth giving a comment just to say, ‘thank you for writing.‘ 

Wild Rhov: Do I even need to say anything about this author? Famous, famous, famous. Excellent. Writes a lot of pairings and fleshes every relationship into something REAL. I Can’t Even. @wildrhov  

Beastly Possession: Something is murdering people in Magnolia. When Lucy is attacked, Natsu goes on a rampage to find the culprit, and everyone in Fairy Tail wants revenge. But could this bloodthirsty attacker be someone they know? Warning: High octane nightmare fuel! Do not read while eating, and beware of red eyes in the dark! 

Shell1331: Introduced via Imp. This writer is in a few fandoms and is worth reading. @shell-senji  

Juicy: Impulsivity and poorly chosen words get Natsu into more trouble than he’d expected, which is saying something for him. 

AbsentAngel: Everyone should know this writer. Been stalking her since 2014 so that says something. Tho, it’s prolly just that I’m creepy. ;) My suggested fic here is being re-written/has been? into something original and worth being purchased when it becomes available and re-read over and over. No, I am not being paid to shill but I am open to having senpai notice me. @absent-angel  

To the Flame: She stares, transfixed, as the blood runs down his fingers and begins to pool in his palm. He holds his hand up to her lips in offering, and she tears her eyes away from the blood to study his face. He is smiling softly. “Go on Luce, I didn’t cut them for nothing.” [Vamp AU] 

HawkofNavarre: Loved for awesome and delightful Gruvia content. Looks like there’s a tumblr but I can’t manage to link it. :(

You Stole the Rain: He just wanted to be friends; fine, she just needed to change his mind. Gray x Juvia 

Ricardian Scholar Clark-Weasley: Not sure I spelled that right even after checking three times! I usually short hand that to RS-CW in my head. And she’s prolific - has a tonne of fandoms and is a tower of talent. Is anyone reading all my fangirl gushing? 'Cause she follows one of my fics and comments (sorry I haven’t updated that fic in a while) and it’s a source of happiness that someone who writes so well happens to enjoy some of my content. Okay, bragging over - back to the Recs! 

Tales of Fairies: A collection of oneshots exploring different friendships, ideas, sad themes, comical scenarios, and lots and lots of pairings…but mainly Nalu. 

snogfairy: Another giant in the FT fandom. Impressive talent. @lineffability  

naughty nalus: smutty nalu oneshots B) ***Mature content!*** 

Rivendell101: Another giant in FT and other fandoms. This author would be considered required reading if I ran a fandom course in a University setting. Just sayin’ @rivendell101  

Crave: /krāv/ Verb. To feel a powerful desire for (something). They crave each other. And satiation doesn’t come easily. He growls against her again. “Beg for it,” he demands, lips ghosting against her. 

Lakerae aka @hidetheremote : Did you think I’d forgotten you? Ha! Gotcha good! You’re an inspiration to me because you’re working so hard to publish your children’s books. Kudos to you li'l sis! You’re busy but still make it a point to talk to me and I love you for that and everything.

The Gift of the Magi: A Gajevy Twist: A retelling of the classic Christmas story “The Gift of the Magi,” with your favorite Fairy Tail couple Gajeel and Levy! It’s Christmas time and Gajeel and Levy exchange gifts. They both are surprised what they receive and learn a lesson of the true meaning of Christmas. 

I could add more and more as I search my saved favs on FF.net ~ and I’m sorry to not include all of them - but this is crazy long as it is. If you read and like any of the recommended fics, please be sure to let the author know. To the authors of these and all fanfics, Thanks for everything.

[linkispink1995]

Better Together (11) When the tears have dried

Previously 

Series Masterlist 

A/N: let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list , please do not plagiarize my work. Stay safe and feedback is apricated , Thanks - Meg

Also I have  group chat for this series where we can talk about the series , and ya’ll can give me feedback on what you wanna see , there’ll be voting and Q and A’s so let me know if you’d like an invite

Chapter Warnings :Language , Angst , mentions of smut/skinny dipping and lots of drama 

I was sitting on the bed drying the rest of my tears that had fallen  , Steve had only left moments ago but I still felt the sting of are confrontation was still present. I didn't know what to do , should I go after him , should I give him some space I didn't know what to do but all I did know is I hurt Steve and I was alone and after what I had done I knew it was what I deserved . Not only did I hurt Steve but I hurt Jackson too and he didn't deserve it he deserved better they both did , I wiped my tears before walking out of the bedroom and entering the kitchen to go through the draws to find Polly's phone number to her house he had to have it written down somewhere I mean- shit why would he have to have his sisters phone number written down it was his sister for god sakes. I slammed the drawer and walked back down the hallway to get my coat before I heard the phone ring in the kitchen , I quickly ran back into the kitchen hoping it was Steve calling , I picked up the phone and spoke into it saying "hello" the voice on the other side responded saying "hey Y/n it's Jonathan" I sighed saying "hi Jonathan". He responded saying "is everything okay" I nodded saying "yeah it's fine" Jonathan spoke again saying "so uh I'm in town visiting mom and I was wondering if you wanted to meet at Benny's for breakfast tomorrow" I nodded again saying "yeah that sounds good". Jonathan responded saying "so is it just gonna be you or is Jackson coming too" I sighed saying "uh no actually it'll just be me" Jonathan spoke saying "are you sure everything is okay" I responded saying "yeah I'm sure I'm just a bit tired". He spoke saying "oh okay well then I'll see you tomorrow does ten sound good" I nodded saying "yeah ten sounds great I'll see you then" after getting off the phone with Jonathan I put the phone on back onto the reciever before Katie walked into the kitchen saying "hey" I responded saying "hi" she spoke again saying "is everything okay" I sighed before she added "where's Steve" I sighed again saying "he's at his sisters" Katie nodded before opening the freezer and grabbing a carton of ice cream. I spoke saying "Katie I think uh I think were over" she shrugged as she walked over and grabbed a spoon before I added "Steve and I it's over I think after what I did today he's done and honestly if he did the same to me I'd want to be done with him" Katie spoke saying "what did you do". I sighed saying "Katie I've been a bitch to him all day" she sighed saying "so look at your sixteenth birthday he was a asshole to you that day so their you go payback". I shook my head saying "Katie I don't do payback okay I'm just afraid we'll never have those good times again".

****Flashback****

I was folding a pair of jeans up before walking over to the suitcase that I had opened on my bed , I placed the jeans in the suitcase before Jackson tottered in my room , it was a almost a week after Christmas and Jackson who was almost two was still carrying around the stuffed Elmo he had gotten when Steve and I had taken him to the mall to see Santa which of course was a miniature disaster since the minute he sat on Santa's lap Jackson had a major meltdown. Jackson walked over before motioning me to pick him up , I pulled Jackson in my arms before I put him on my bed before saying "are you ready to go see Nanny" he nodded before beginning to roll around on the part of my bed that wasn't taken up by the suitcase , I was packing since Jackson and I were going to be going to Indianapolis with Steve to visit his grandmother or whom Jackson called Nanny. I was pretty excited about the trip , I was a little nervous about the long car ride since Jackson was going through a small phase of not liking to be in his car seat for too long but I knew he'd be excited since Steve and I had planned this trip and we knew it would great and it was always nice to see Nanny. I had finished packing the suitcase when Jackson began to giggle I shrugged that off and went to began to zip up the suitcase when I felt a pair of arms lift me I gasped before knowing it was Steve , he put me down as Jackson began to laugh even more before Steve scoped him up and tickled him before saying "are you ready to go see Nanny" Jackson nodded before saying "Steve" Steve sighed before saying "yes Jackson" Jackson spoke again saying "we go see Nanny now" Steve nodded saying.  "We can go as soon as mommy is done overpacking" I sighed before saying "oh really overpacking , says the guy who on the last trip we went only brought his toothbrush and a pair of jeans". Steve rolled his eyes saying "oh okay missy and who was it that forgot to bring Jackson's pajama's and he had to end up sleeping in an old t-shirt" I chuckled before Jackson spoke up again saying "mama Elmo go see Nanny" I nodded saying "yes baby we can bring Elmo to Nanny's house" Jackson clapped his hands which was something new he was doing anytime he was happy or excited. I finished zipping up the suitcase before I spoke saying "okay are you ready to go to Nanny's" Jackson nodded as I picked him up and walked out of the bedroom with Steve in tow.

It was an hour into what is most of the time a three and a half hour car ride and Jackson was still asleep after he had a small meltdown shortly after getting in the car he fell fast asleep. I was a bit surprised since Jackson wasn't a fan of being in the car so long or taking naps but then again Jackson was a pretty relaxed baby well now a toddler , the sound of his light snores were disturbed when Steve spoke up saying "are you excited" I nodded before he added "I told Nan that we'd be their by dinner" I responded saying "he'll probably be up soon so we should probably stop at some point and get lunch". Steve spoke saying "yeah uh just tell me when you wanna stop" I nodded again before saying "hey thanks for inviting us" he responded saying "yeah of course I mean you guys are family I mean honestly she probably wants to see the two of you more then she wants to see me" I chuckled before he added "you should probably close your eyes for a bit before he wakes up" I responded saying "that's probably a good idea since the last time I took a nap I probably pregnant with him" Steve chuckled before I closed my eyes trying to catch a moments rest before we stopped for lunch.

My eyes began to open when I started to hear Jackson babbling in the backseat of the car , my cheeks went red as I realized that I had drool on my cheek. I quickly wiped it up before I saw that the jacket Steve was wearing early was now on my lap "you uh looked cold" Steve said before I realized that the car was stopped. I looked to see we were in front of a small restaurant that looked to be attached to a small gift shop , Steve spoke again saying "uh I thought you'd be hungry" I finally spoke saying "that uh that sounds good" he nodded before getting out of the car before walking over and opening the door for me I thanked him before getting out of the car and walked over to open the backseat only for Steve to speak up saying "I got it" I stood back and leaned against the car before Steve got Jackson out of the backseat. Jackson yawned a few times before he reached his arms out to me , Steve kissed his cheek before handing Jackson to me before we walked into the small restaurant.

Steve , Jackson and I were sitting in the booth after we had just ordered out food , Jackson was sitting between Steve and I and was trying to stand up and get to absolutely anything on the table. He spoke saying "mama I have num nums" I responded saying "yes baby were gonna get something to eat okay" he nodded before he leaned his head on Steve's shoulder and let out another yawn. Steve spoke saying "hey uh how's your new job" I responded saying "good it's good uh I've been their for a few weeks now it's good but it's only part time since I'm still in school" he nodded saying "that's good uh so what is it that you do again" I spoke saying. "I am uh salesman for publications I answer phone calls from writers or companies that are trying to get a book or a story published and sometimes I get copies sent to me and I have to proof read them the company really small it's uh just a start up so there's not very many people there". Steve nodded saying "that's uh that's really uh interesting" the waitress brought over are food before Steve spoke again saying "so how is he I haven't uh seen him since Christmas I mean he looks like a whole other person" I chuckled saying "well he's starting to get a little attitude I uh I had to put him in timeout yesterday but then again I probably shouldn't have left him with a box of crayons and expect him to not color on the coffee table , I mean I feel bad that your parents bought the table and I was being stupid and-" Steve cut me off saying. "Y/n your not stupid okay I'm the idiot that treated you that way I mean who does that who does those things who leaves , who treats someone they love that way". I responded saying "Steve maybe were both idiots okay lets just move past that and enjoy are trip" he nodded before Jackson spoke up saying "mama I have ice cream now" I responded saying "no baby we can't it's too cold" Jackson huffed before starting to throw a fit. Steve stood up before picking Jackson up and began to walk around the restaurant with Jackson , I felt bad that Steve felt guilty I mean for the longest time I was mad at Steve about what he had done but the fact that he had grown as a person and changed and began to be their more and more and I could tell that Jackson and I were both happy to have him back in our lives , a moment or so later Steve walked back to the table with Jackson who had the biggest smile on his face which is when I realized Steve must've walked into the gift shop and bought him a small stuffed teddy bear with a blue bow on it , he placed him back in the booth before Jackson climbed into my arms and spoke saying "mama I got a bear" I nodded saying "I see that did daddy buy you that" Jackson responded saying "no not daddy Steve" I sighed before Steve took the seat next to me as I spoke saying "I'm sorry I try telling him but-" Steve cut me off saying "it's okay Y/n he's okay he'll say it when he'll say it". I nodded before Jackson leaned over and grabbed the coloring sheet from Steve and spoke saying "no no Steve" I spoke saying "Jackson you need to be nice to daddy" Jackson sighed before Steve spoke up saying "here why don't you come color with daddy while mommy finishes her lunch" Jackson nodded before Steve pulled him onto his lap before I quietly pulled out my camera out of my bag out and captured the moment between the two people I loved most.

Steve had just pulled into his Grandmother's driveway , after lunch the three of us sat in the booth for a few hours and lost track of time before one of the waitresses walked over and told us the restaurant was closing. By the time we got to Nanny's it was eleven at night and beyond past Jackson's bedtime and I couldn't remember the last time I had stayed up past nine o'clock. I pulled a very sleepy Jackson out of his car seat before Steve spoke saying ""you can go inside , I'll get the bags" I nodded saying "it's pretty late Steve do you think she's still up". Steve chuckled saying "are you kidding me Nanny's the biggest night owl , where do you think I get it from" I nodded before I walked up to the house as Jackson was letting out a few yawns . I knocked on the doors a few times before the door opened with Nanny on the other side. she spoke saying "oh finally I thought you kids got lost" I shook my head before she added "well come in I don't want you turning into ice pops". I walked into the house when I began to hear the sound of Nanny's dog Buffy begin to bark causing Jackson to speak up saying "puppy" I nodded before Nanny gestured to take Jackson. I handed Jackson to her before he spoke again saying  "baby" he then gestured toward the picture on the coffee table , Nanny spoke saying "you know who that is" Jackson shook his head before she added. "That is your daddy when he was a baby" Jackson snuggled to the crook of Nanny's neck before the front door opened and closed. Nanny spoke saying "Steven wipe your feet , you better not bring any of that dirty snow in my house" I could hear Steve sigh before Nanny looked and me and spoke saying "I swear he and his father both never could remember to wipe their shoes off but that's not the only thing they forgot to do" I nodded as Steve walked into the living room. He spoke saying " hi Nanny" she responded saying "hi Steven how's school going" I nodded saying "It's going fine thank you" Nanny responded saying "and how's basketball going" Steve frowned saying "uh good uh well not good cause I got kicked off the team". Nanny sighed before I spoke saying "I didn't know that" Steve responded saying "yeah uh I had a feeling it was coming since I kept getting benched but uh they gave the spot to someone else" I frowned before Nanny spoke again saying "now Steven I have some Christmas presents for you kids so once you get settled you can open them" Steve responded saying "Nanny it's Eleven o'clock" she spoke saying "oh is it really then I'm sorry I must've lost track of time talking to Robert" Steve responded saying "who's Robert" Nanny shook her head saying "don't worry about that , So Y/n-" Steve cut Nanny off saying "Nanny do you have a boyfriend" Nanny rolled her eyes before saying "Steven go get the bags while I get Y/n and the baby settled" Steve walked out of the living room before Nanny spoke saying "come on let's get you settled" Nanny walked down the hall as I followed her as well as Buffy. She opened the door to the guest bedroom before she spoke saying "there are fresh towels in the bathroom , is it too cold in here for you I can turn on the heat , I don't want you two to get chilly" I responded saying "It's great Nanny thank you" Nanny spoke saying "sweetheart were family you can call me Lucille" I nodded before she added "oh goodness he's gotten so big I can't believe my great grandbaby is going to be two ,  I mean I can't imagine how you feel I mean I remember when Steven's father was this age and mean by then I was pregnant with my second". I nodded before Nanny spoke again saying "do you think your going to have anymore kids" I shrugged saying "oh I uh don't know I mean I thought I would but I think I'm done , I wouldn't be opposed to more but I'm good with just Jackson for now" she nodded before their was a knock on the door. I turned to see Steve standing their with the suitcase , Nanny spoke saying "I'll let you two get settled , Steven and I need to speak" I nodded before Nanny handed Jackson to me and walked out of the guest bedroom.

Steve's P.O.V

I walked into the living room before taking a seat on the couch next to Buffy and placed my feet on the coffee table before I heard Nanny speak. "Steven get your dirty shoes off my coffee table" I sighed before she added "what is wrong with you" I sighed again saying "Nanny my feet are off the coffee table I-" she cut me off saying "Steven the two of you were like water and oil seriously what is wrong with you , I mean I've probably have gotten more action then-" I cut Nanny off saying "Nanny what do you want me to do , I can't just go and crawl in bed with her and spoon her that's weird". Nanny shook her head saying "oh please you watched her give birth there is nothing you can do that's weird" I stayed quiet since I wasn't their when Jackson was born , I instead ran out of the room like a coward. Nanny spoke up saying "Steven you were their when she gave birth weren't you" I sighed before Nanny added "are you kidding me for god sakes you and your father are the biggest chickens I've ever met , do you know that when your sister was born I had to be in the room holding your mothers hand cause he was in the waiting room puking his guts out". I frowned before Nanny added "well then I hope you like sleeping on the floor cause theirs's only one guest bedroom and your girl is in their" I rolled my eyes saying "what about the couch" Nanny responded saying "no I'm expecting a very important phone call" I sighed saying "really and important phone call at almost midnight is that from your boyfriend" Nanny rolled her eyes saying "ask me again and you'll sleep in your car" I sighed again before walking down the hallway to check on Y/n and Jackson.

I knocked on the bedroom door before hearing a voice say "come in" I opened the door to see Y/n holding Jackson , she spoke again saying "do you mind getting him in his pajamas" I nodded before she walked over and handed Jackson to me , Y/n then stepped in the bathroom while I got Jackson's pajamas on him. After I had gotten Jackson in his pajamas I heard the bathroom door creek open a bit , I looked up before Y/n popped her head out of the door saying "uh do you mind stepping out for a minute" I shook my head before walking out of the bedroom.

Y/n's P.O.V I walked out of the bathroom before going over to the suitcase to grab my pajamas before realizing that I had forgotten something I realized I brought no diapers for Jackson. I sighed before putting back on the clothes I wore earlier , after I was redressed I scooped Jackson in my arms before opening the bedroom door to see Steve standing in the hallway , he spoke saying. "Is everything okay" I sighed saying "you don't get to laugh but I didn't bring him any Diapers" Steve nodded saying "oh so you forgot something" I rolled my eyes before he added "that's fine we can run out real quick" I responded saying "do you mind holding him for a second I gotta grab my bag-" Steve cut me off saying "no don't worry about it I'll pay" I sighed saying "Steve I-" he again cut me off saying. "Y/n it's just a pack of diapers it's no big deal" I nodded before walking down the hall with Steve , we entered the living room to see Nanny sitting on the couch talking on the phone. She put the phone down on her shoulder before saying "is something wrong" I shook my head saying "we just need to run out and grab a pack of diapers" Nanny responded saying "oh do you want me to watch the baby" I shook my head again saying "no we'll just-" Nanny cut me off saying "oh nonsense I'll watch the baby you two kids go out" I responded saying "oh no your busy-" Nanny cut me off saying "it's no big deal I call Rob- I mean my friend later you two kids go out and enjoy yourselves". Steve spoke up saying "Nanny it's not-" this time Nanny cut Steve off saying "Steven just go now please" Steve sighed saying "we'll be back in ten minutes" Nanny responded saying "oh take your time" Steve rolled his eyes before we walked out of the house.

Ten minutes later Steve and I were in his car still driving around trying to look for someplace that was still opened so late in the night , we drove before seeing a twenty four hour convenient store. Steve pulled into the parking lot before we both stepped out of the car and walked into the store , I walked down an isle to grab a pack of diapers only to turn around and see that Steve wasn't their. I sighed before walking around the small store looking for him only to find him with a small shopping basket with a few items in it , I walked up to him before saying "I thought we came here to buy diapers" he shook his head saying "oh I just picked up a few necessities" I chuckled saying. "So ice cream , sour cream and onion chips and pop tarts are necessities" he nodded saying "yes besides Nanny doesn't have any of this stuff" I sighed before he added "are you ready" I nodded before we walked up to the register to check out.

As the cashier began to scan the items she gave Steve and I a funny look before finally saying "is this you first" I furrowed my brows before she added "are you pregnant with your first" my jaw feel before she spoke again saying "oh I assumed with the food and the diapers that you were". I silently shook my head before feeling extremely embarrassed especially since that all happened in front of Steve , after paying for the items Steve and I silently walked back to his car and got in. We began to drive home back to Nanny's or so I thought. I spoke up saying "Steve where are we going" Steve responded saying "I uh wanted to show you something" I nodded before Steve continued driving.

A few minutes later Steve spoke saying "okay close you eyes" I rolled my eyes before closing them , I didn't know how much time had passed before Steve spoke again saying "okay I'll come around and get you , keep your eyes shut" I sighed before feeling the car stop , I heard the passenger door open before he added "okay reach out your hand" I held my hand out before Steve took it. I couldn't remember the last time I walked hand and hand with Steve but I missed it , a moment later we stopped walking before Steve spoke saying "okay open them" I opened my eyes before taking in the view which was a lake with a patch of greenery in front of a lake with a small waterfall. I gasped before saying "it's beautiful" he nodded before saying "we uh used to out here all the time when I was a kid , it was weird cause no matter how cold it got , no mater if their was snow on the ground the lake never froze over"  I nodded before he added "I knew I wanted to show it to you when Jackson and I were in the gift shop and I saw that stuffed bear , when I uh was seven my dad , Polly and I came out here and went for a hike and uh we forgot to put our lunch away and when we came back their were two bear cubs eating our leftovers". I chuckled before leaning my head on Steve shoulder before saying "it's amazing , it's really amazing" Steve responded saying "wanna have a picnic" I took Steve's hand to look at his watch before saying "at one thirty in the morning there wouldn't be anyone else I'd rather have a picnic with then you" he chuckled before he walked back to the car.

Steve and I were laying on the hood of the car looking at the stars , I couldn't help but think about how it felt so much like the old days . I also could help but feel a tad bit excited when I felt Steve reach for my hand , I felt like I could just stay here forever in this moment in time. "Y/n did you hear me" Steve said , I shook my head before he added "I said do you wanna go swimming" I chuckled saying "ha very funny" Steve furrowed his brows saying "what's funny" I responded saying "you are ,  seriously you wanna go swimming" he nodded before I added "in December , in the middle of nowhere without a bathing suit you want to go swimming" he nodded again before I spoke saying "have fun". he laughed saying "oh come on you have to go with me" I shook my head saying "no way your crazy" Steve responded saying. "Y/n come on what happened to your sense of adventure , come on please just do this with me" I rolled my eyes saying "no way I mean if I was considering it , which I'm not we don't even have our swimsuits" Steve nodded saying "true but uh their is the good old fashioned skinny dipping" I rolled my eyes again saying. "Oh you've got to be kidding me really that's wow that's you know I'm-" Steve cut me off saying "Jesus Yl/n I didn't think you'd get all flustered at that suggestion". I rolled my eyes saying "I'm not getting flustered I'm just I uh no I'm not doing it I-" Steve cut me off saying "oh wait a second were you considering it" I shook my head as he added "oh no your were I know that face you were thinking about it" I shook my head again saying "I was not that is ridiculous it's too cold out to be doing that" Steve sighed saying "oh your so lame Yl/n" I rolled my eyes before he added "okay last call are you going" I shook my head before saying "no thank you I don't wanna freeze" Steve sighed saying "well you snooze you loose , and I swear that water may look cold but it warm I promise" I shook my head again before he added "great then you can hold my clothes" I shook my head before Steve got up from the car and began to peel off his shirt. Oh god this had to be a dream- I mean I don't dream about things like this but there's no way this was seriously happening. Ex boyfriends and girlfriends don't go skinny dipping together especially in the middle of winter on- "are you coming in" I looked up to realize Steve was already in the water. I shook my head before he  responded saying "you know your so boring" I rolled my eyes saying "uh huh I not going sorry not after last time" He chuckled saying "please I'll be you best friend and  I promise those brats won't come back and steal are clothes". I scoffed before getting off the car and peeling off my coat before saying "look away" he nodded before turning in the other direction. I dipped my toe in the water before realizing that maybe Steve was right the water was surprisingly warm for December-

~~~~~~~~~~ "Wait a minute you did not , did not go skinny dipping with Steve" I sighed saying "Helen would you let me finish telling the story please" she chuckled before adding "Y/n I mean why would you do that it's cold out , it's the middle of nowhere and I mean it's Steve why would you do that". I shrugged saying "I don't know it was just different and I haven't really done anything like that , anything-" Helen cut me off saying "stupid you haven't done anything stupid". I scoffed saying "it's not stupid if you were their you would've done that" she shook her head saying "with Steve absolutely not" I sighed saying "I meant you would've done that with someone you care about". Helen shook her had saying "oh my god , oh my god your still in love with him" I sighed again saying "no I-" she cut me off saying "yes you are oh my god it's clear as day your still in love with him" I huffed saying "okay Helen can I finish my story" she nodded saying "yes just can we skip over the stuff that happened in the water please were close but were not that close and I don't feel like losing my lunch". ~~~~~~~~~~ Steve and I had just finished drying off before he spoke saying "we uh should probably get back" I nodded silently since after we had gotten out of the water we hadn't said a single word to each other. It was awkward , defiantly awkward I mean I imagine it would be awkward for anyone to see their ex without any clothes on. After getting out clothes back on we got back in the car before I starting thinking about how the second we got out of the water that Steve had towels. I mean why would he have towels in his car in December I mean he didn't plan on any of that happening did he. As Steve began to drive away I spoke saying "so uh do you mind if I ask where you got the ideas to keep those towels in your car". Steve shrugged saying "I uh guess I just had them in my car from during the summer , I mean we went to the pool a lot" I responded saying "yeah but we mostly went to the pool at your house" Steve sighed before saying "right  yeah uh but-" I cut Steve off saying "Steve did you plan us going there" he sighed again saying "yes but before you get mad I didn't plan it that way-" I cut Steve off again saying "I cannot believe you , you know what I actually can god that is something you'd do and uh fell for it I fell right for it". Steve shook his head saying "Y/n I didn't plan on it happening tonight , I was planning on us coming up during the summer okay-" I cut Steve off saying "oh bullshit Steve you totally planned on this god I just you know what I hope you got a good look cause you'll never see that again" Steve responded saying "Y/n your not listening to me okay I didn't plan that I mean I did but that was just random I swear to god that I had planned this for the summer and we were going to go as a family". I shook my head saying "were not a family Steve okay you made that choice and it's too late were not a family and were never going to be" Steve frowned before pulling into the driveway before he spoke saying "you uh can go inside I'll be their in a minute" I grabbed the bag from the convenient store before walking in the house leaving Steve.

Steve's P.O.V Bullshit , I swear that word would haunt me for the rest of my life every time I heard it I felt like I instantly went back to that stupid Halloween party and I could hear Nancy repeat the words to me. Tonight was stupid I should've waited till summer like I planned but I just got excited , excited about showing the person I cared most for my favorite place but I messed up. I walked into Nanny's house before hearing her speak saying "you blew it Steve" I sighed saying "that's not news" she responded saying "do you wanna talk about it or do you wanna go apologize". I sighed saying "what's the point she's still mad at me she'll always be mad at me" I walked over to the couch before collapsing on it before Nanny spoke again saying "you know a long time ago your father did the same thing , your mom and his got into some dumb fight and your dad sat on that couch and cried like a baby and you know what I did. I told him to get off his ass , dry his eyes and go back to his girl and nine months later you were here so your welcome for that". I rolled my eyes before she spoke again saying "hey when you go home you cannot tell your father about Robert okay you know how sensitive he gets" I nodded before saying "do you miss him grandpa" she nodded saying "I do and if he was here he'd probably smack you on the back of the head and tell you to grow a pair" I scoffed before she added "go tell her your sorry I'm sure you screwed up- you know what go get Y/n I wanna talk to her" I nodded before I stood up saying "did he uh go down for you okay" she responded saying. "He did , she did a really good job with him your pretty damn lucky you got the perfect kid I mean you were a mess you must've been glued to your mothers hip till you were five god you were so ridiculous and don't even get me started on the blanket nonsense" I rolled my eyes before walking down the hall. I knocked on the bedroom door before the door opened reveling Y/n on the other side she spoke saying. "What do you want" I responded saying "Nanny wants to talk to you and I want you to know I'm sorry about tonight that was stupid I'm sorry" she ignored my words before walking past me down the hall.

Y/n's P.O.V I walked into the living room to see Nanny sitting in the chair across from the couch , I don't know why I was nervous I mean I had talked to Nanny before but never alone until now. She spoke saying "sit dear I think we should talk" I took the seat on the couch before she spoke again saying "I just want to apologize" I responded saying "for what Nanny you've been great" she sighed saying "I invited Steve to come up during the summer , he wanted to plan it out so I helped him and last minute something came up and I had to cancel on him. Steven was crushed he really wanted to bring you up two up here , he wanted to take you two to the zoo and all over. He planned on taking you to the spot for the afternoon just the three of you , he planned a lunch and everything he was pretty upset when I told him we had to cancel since he had already packed the car and I felt pretty bad since I cancel for a very selfish reason. I have been seeing someone and uh I didn't want John finding out because of how close he was with his father when Steve passed I think John took it the hardest". I furrowed my brows trying to take in what Nanny had said before she added "oh Steve didn't tell you , Steve's named after his grandfather he uh got sick when Jenifer was pregnant with Steve he uh got sick and uh he fought hard so he could be their for when those kids grew up. He wanted nothing more then to see Steve become a father and have a son of his own to have those moments with him and when I was with Jackson tonight I swear to god he had the same sparkle in his eyes that Steven had , the same sparkle I'd never thought I'd be able to see again. My god you and that baby are the best thing that's happened to this family if it wasn't for you and Jackson this family would've probabaly gone to shit but that's besides the point. I'm not telling you that Steve and you should get back together I'm telling you to never lose the idea of it happen you can't lose that love you can't forget you can't pretend it never happened because it gave you that baby that wonderful sweet miracle baby. So just don't ever lose it don't ever think it won't happen cause you never know I mean I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with my life with husband and his damn heart gave out on him. so please just promise me you will always keep your heart open". I felt tears prick my eyes at Nanny's words , I couldn't possible imagine the heart ache she's had to endure and I didn't ever want to feel that pain and I didn't wish it upon anyone. I wiped my eyes and nodded before Nanny spoke again saying "my god look at the time god I'm sorry I didn't mean to be all sappy" I responded saying "no it's okay it I uh I'm sorry about all-" she cut me off saying "oh honey don't I've heard it all before but it's uh getting late we uh should go to bed we can talk about this in the morning" I nodded before saying goodnight to Nanny.

I walked into the bedroom before seeing Jackson and Steve snuggle together on the bed , I sighed before walking into the bathroom and changing in some pajama's. After I had gotten changed I walked back into the bedroom to see that they were still asleep and now snoring almost as if it were in unison , I pulled the covers back before crawling into bed with them before placing a kiss on Steve's cheek before saying "I love you".

******Flashback Over******

I got out of bed since I knew soon I'd have to leave for breakfast with Jonathan , I wiped my tears before walking over and grabbing clothes to wear. I peeled off Steve's sweater that I had wore to bed so I could have something similar too him even though nothing could replace Steve really being there. After I had gotten dressed I walked into the bathroom to clean off my dried up mascara and the smudged lipstick I had put on for the party last night , it was odd being alone. It was the first time I had been alone since Steve and I had gotten back together , if Steve wasn't their I would at least have Jackson but not having either of them hurt worst. I walked out of the bathroom before making myself look somewhat presentable and look like I had gotten more then a few hours of sleep , I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water when I noticed the sticky note attached to the fridge I pulled it off the fridge before reading it.

Went out with mom, be back later. -Katie

I sighed before I walked into living room only to be mocked by Steve's birthday present that I had left on the coffee table , I ignored it and tried my best not to cry when I saw it before grabbing my coat out of the coat closet , I then grabbed my bag before walking out of the apartment and headed to Benny's.

I pulled into the Benny's parking lot before putting on the fakest smile I could , I then grabbed my bag and walked into the diner. It had been a while since just Jonathan and I had hung out since after Jonathan had graduated he moved to New York , Jackson and I visited him quite a few times but it had been a while. I walked into Benny's and began to walk to the booth Jonathan and I always sat in , before Jackson was born Jonathan and I would always meet at Benny's on Saturday mornings for breakfast and even after Jackson was born we would still meet but I always would bring Jackson which Jonathan of course didn't mind. I saw Jonathan sitting at the booth alone or so I thought , I noticed Jonathan was laughing and that's when I realized Jonathan wasn't alone , Nancy was their too. I at first thought that maybe Jonathan forgot about our plans or that I maybe dreamt the past few days , if I did then this was one awful nightmare and I wanted to wake up and have Steve their with me. Jonathan looked up and waved to me before I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat before walking over to him. I had meet Nancy only a few times but just in passing either when she was with Steve or during the few times I had babysat her younger brother so I had a bad feeling this would be awkward. I took the seat across from Nancy and Jonathan , I gave a fake smile trying my best to be polite and also since I didn't know what to say to Jonathan since last night on the phone it was supposed to be just us like the old times. It was awkward almost as awkward as when I had to speak to Nancy when her and Steve were together- oh god did she know that Steve and I were back together my thoughts were then interrupted when I noticed something sparkly and shinny on Nancy's ring finger , it was an engagement ring which could only mean her and Jonathan were engaged.

The three of us sat in silence except for when we ordered are food , after the waitress took are order and silence resumed Nancy decided to break the silence by saying. "So uh how are you-" she didn't know my name not until Jonathan mumbled "Y/n" under his breath. Nancy spoke again saying " oh right Y/n" she said before adding "what uh have you been up to" I responded saying "nothing much" Nancy nodded saying "are you still single" I shook my head saying "no uh I have a boyfriend" Nancy responded saying "who" I sighed saying "Steve". Nancy had a confused look on her face before saying "oh Steve Lewis he's nice I uh think I had him in my homeroom" I sighed again saying "oh no um Steve Harrington" Nancy's face went blank before the waitress brought over are food. After I thanked her the silence returned , I picked around the food on my plate since I hadn't had an apatite since last night.

A few minutes of eating in awkward silence Nancy excused herself and left Jonathan and I alone , I spoke saying "hey Jonathan" he nodded before I added "can I ask you something" he nodded again as I spoke saying "why the hell didn't' you tell me". Jonathan responded saying "oh about Nancy" I nodded before he continued saying "I thought you'd be cool with it" I nodded again saying. "I am but last night on the phone it was just going to be us , you know like old times" Jonathan responded saying "yeah but I assumed you'd bring Jackson like you always do" I sighed saying "Jonathan I-" he cut me off saying "Y/n it's not like the old times okay , I'm sorry but it won't ever be like that again okay" I rolled my eyes before saying "did uh you visit your mom yet" he shook his head saying "no , why did something happen" I shook my head saying "uh I'll let her tell you" Jonathan sighed before I grabbed some money out of my bag and placed it on the table since I was so peeved that Jonathan tainted our tradition , I spoke saying. "This uh should cover for my food , congratulations by the way" he scoffed before I grabbed my bag and walked out of Benny's.

Steve's P.O.V

I was awoken when I felt someone shake my arm , I sighed and wiped the sleep out of my eyes before a voice spoke. "Steve come on get up" it was Polly , I sighed again before she added "come on okay I know your all pissed cause of your birthday but come on get over it". I grabbed the pillow beside me and tossed at my sister , she then huffed and walked out of the room before a moment later I felt a weight on me. I opened my eyes before seeing Jackson all cuddled to me. I spoke saying "good morning" he responded saying "daddy can we do something today" I sat up before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and spoke saying "sure buddy what do you wanna do" Jackson responded saying "can we go out for breakfast" I nodded saying "do you wanna go to Benny's" Jackson nodded saying "can we go with mommy or are you still mad at her" I sighed saying "Jackson I'm not mad at mommy but I was thinking maybe just you and I could go out and do something , you know when was the last time you and I got to go out and do something just the two of us and you know what think of it as an extra birthday present". Jackson frowned before saying "you didn't like my card" I shook my head saying "no I did , daddy loved your card it was my favorite gift" he nodded before I spoke saying "okay go tell aunt Polly and I'll be out in five minutes" Jackson nodded again before running out of the room.

After I had gotten ready I walked out of the bedroom before hearing the front door open and close , I walked into the living room to see my mom standing their she then walked over to me and pulled me into a hug before saying. "How are you holding up sweetie" I sighed saying "I'm fine mom" she responded saying "are you sure , I don't want this to cause you to spiral or go on one of you outburst" I sighed saying "I'm sure mom". Polly spoke up saying "I invited mom to go out to breakfast" I responded saying "but I didn't invite you" Polly rolled her eyes saying "too bad I invited myself and your buying" I sighed before we left for Benny's.

We walked into Benny's before taking a seat in a booth before Jackson spoke up saying "daddy when can we go see mommy" I shrugged saying "I'm uh not sure buddy". He frowned saying "well did mommy say sorry yet" I nodded saying "yes she-" Jackson cut me off saying "then why are you still mad". I huffed saying "Jackson I already told you I'm not mad at mommy" Jackson frowned again before mom spoke up saying "how about we don't bug daddy about that" Jackson sighed saying "I was just asking a question and mommy was right he is grumpy" I huffed before the waitress came over to take our orders. After she took our orders Mom spoke saying "you know when she comes back I think I'll order a milkshake I can't remember the last time I had a chocolate shake from Benny's". Polly chuckled saying "your going to have a milkshake for breakfast" mom nodded before she added "don't you think that's-"Polly was cut off by Jackson saying "daddy can I go talk to uncle Jonathan" I shrugged before he pointed to a booth and who of course was sitting their but Jonathan and Nancy. I shook my head saying "not right now" he sighed saying "why not" I responded saying "I don't wanna bother them" Jackson spoke again saying "daddy who is uncle Jonathan with" I shrugged before he added "do you know her". I shook my head again before Polly spoke saying "isn't that Nancy" I shrugged saying "I don't know I wasn't paying attention" Polly rolled her eyes saying "that's weird I don't remember Nancy wearing glasses" I shook my head saying "what are you talking about no she doesn't" Polly huffed saying "oh so maybe you were paying attention idiot". Mom spoke saying "Polly watch your language infront of your nephew" Polly rolled her eyes before saying "you know mom babying Steve is one thing but babying Jackson is a whole other thing in itself" Mom shook her head before saying "so Steven your father is off today so I was going to take Jackson home with me so he can see him" I responded saying "that's fine mom" she nodded before saying "I mean you could come with us too I mean I wouldn't mind you staying with us" I shook my head saying "I'm good" she nodded again before Polly spoke up saying "okay how long is this whatever you wanna call it between you and Y/n going cause David's supposed to be back in a week and I don't want my mopey and annoying little brother around when he does" I rolled my eyes before mom spoke up again saying "Polly you need to learn to have patience I swear since the moment you were born their hasn't been a patient bone in your body" Polly scoffed saying "oh please mother I've been dealing with him for twenty three years I deserve a break besides isn't she at your apartment I mean why don't you just kick her out". Mom gasped saying "Polly how could you say that" she rolled her eyes before I responded saying "I would never do that and besides it's not just her it's Katie and Oliver" Mom responded saying "I thought his name was Patrick" Polly shook her head saying "no Patrick is Ollie's deadbeat father" Mom sighed saying "well I didn't know Kathrine had a baby when did that happen" Polly responded saying "neither did I until I ran into her and Donna at the mall which reminds me I have to go visit Donna later she had her baby early this morning" Mom spoke saying "I didn't know Donna was pregnant either , you kids need to start telling me things more often" Polly rolled her eyes before a voice spoke "Steve" I then turned to see who else but Nancy. Polly and Moms jaw feel before she added "it's uh been a while" she wasn't lying it had been a while , a little over four years. I nodded silently before she spoke again saying "well uh I don't wanna bother I just wanted to say hi" I silently waved before she walked away from the table only for Polly to break out into a fit of laughter , mom sighed saying "oh Polly your a mess" Polly continued to laugh before the waitress brought over are food.

Y/n's P.O.V

I walked into the apartment before walking into the Livingroom to see Katie putting Ollie in his car seat. She spoke saying "So uh how was your breakfast" I shrugged before saying "where did you go this morning" she responded saying "oh I went over to see mom and dad and uh dad let me know about your little meltdown at the station" I rolled my eyes before she added. "Also while you were gone uncle Jim called wanting to know if you were still going to come over and hang out with the kids" I sighed since I completely forgot about that until Katie had just brought it up. I spoke saying "where are you off to now" Katie responded saying "the hospital , Donna had the baby this morning" my jaw fell before she added "do you want to come" I responded saying "uh sure I guess" Katie nodded saying "good you can drive , I was up half the night with Ollie and I'm exhausted" I nodded before Katie and I left for the hospital.

Katie and I had arrived at the hospital and were walking to the room Donna was in before she spoke saying "I think the last time I was at a hospital Ollie was born , how about you". I responded saying "the last time I was here Jackson was getting his appendix out" Katie furrowed her brows saying "you never told me about that" . I sighed saying "it's a long story" we got to the hospital room before Katie lightly knocked on the door before opening it , on the other side was Donna who was sitting up in the hospital bed holding of course the baby , Danica was right next to Donna leaning her head on Donna's shoulder. Donna spoke saying "hi guys" Katie responded saying "how is she" Donna responded saying "good everything good" I spoke saying "I thought you weren't due till next month" Donna shrugged saying "I guess she decided to surprise up , where's uh Jackson and Steve" I ignored her question before Katie spoke saying "oh that's not important , what's important it how does Danica feel about having to share a birthday with her baby sister" Donna sighed saying "she was a little upset at first but I think she's doing much better , hey Dani why don't you tell them what baby sister's name is" Danica nodded saying "my sisters name is Delilah" Katie responded saying "oh and do you like baby Delilah" Danica nodded before Donna spoke saying "do you wanna hold her Y/n" I nodded silently before Donna added "are you okay I mean somethings off with you". I responded saying "I'm fine Donna just uh a little tired I guess". I nodded again before taking the baby from Donna , if I was being honest I missed this being able to hold a baby. Jackson was almost seven and the only time he ever wanted to be cuddled with or held was when he didn't feel good and before Jackson I wasn't a fan of cuddling but the first time I held my precious baby boy and got to cuddle him changed my mind and I absolutely loved to cuddle with him. It was sad to see him grow up but at the same time it was exciting to see him grown and learn and become his own person with his own personality , likes and dislikes but then their was still this sadness that I was losing my baby boy and I didn't think I was ready for that. "You know" Katie said before adding "Y/n's thinking about having another baby" I sighed since after Steve and I's argument I was pretty sure there was no chance at us being able to have another baby but after what I had done to Steve I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve another baby with his laugh or his smile , I didn't deserve one with his freckles or his nose and his beautiful brown eyes I feel in love with all those years ago. I shook my head saying "I uh actually don't think that's going to be happening" Donna responded saying "are you sure I mean I never thought I would either but now I can't imagine life without Delilah" I nodded saying "yeah but I uh think I'm good with just one" Katie scoffed saying "what happened and please don't say it's because of that stupid fight". Donna spoke again saying "what fight" Katie huffed saying "oh yesterday was Steve's birthday-" Donna cut Katie off saying "oh listen I wanted to talk to you about that Y/n I'm sorry we didn't show up it's just I was starting to feel contractions and I didn't know if they were real ones or Braxton hicks" I nodded before Katie added.  "Anyways so it was Steve's birthday and Y/n was being all moody and her and Steve had a stupid fight and she's now upset because she thinks they've broken up". Oh shit I didn't think of that , were Steve and I broken up I mean are fight was pretty big but it wasn't break up worthy was it I mean if Steve had done to me what I did I knew I'd probably break up with him so were we still together.

Steve's P.O.V

It was a few hours after Jackson went home with my mom and I was honestly pretty lonely without him , I mean sure I had my sister but I didn't remember the last time I hung out with just my sister. "So" Polly said before adding "I uh wanted to say I'm sorry about what I said earlier" I responded saying "it's fine I'm over it" she huffed saying "well it doesn't look like your over it". Before I could say anything else the doorbell rang , Polly stood up before walking out of the room a moment or so later I heard my sister scream causing me to get up from the couch to walk into the entryway only to see my sister standing their with her boyfriend David. I sighed before walking back into the Livingroom to take my place back on the couch next to Buster , I sat their for a few moments before Polly and David returned to the living room. Polly was about to speak again before she was interrupted this time by the phone ringing she sighed before walking out of the living room leaving me and David alone. David spoke saying "uh hey man there's uh something I've been wanting to talk to you about" oh god I really didn't hope this is what my mom was talking about yesterday. David spoke again saying "uh so your sister and I have been together for a while and uh I've been trying to talk to your dad but he's been ignoring me and kinda hiding from me but I was wondering if I could have your permission to ask your sister to marry me". Oh god why , why did he have to ask me I mean why do I care I mean I do sorta care but with everything going on this just hurt and I know David had no clue what was going on but it still hurt. I responded saying "yeah I guess so sure" he nodded before I heard Polly call for me , I walked into the kitchen before she put the phone down and her shoulder and spoke saying "it's Y/n do you wanna talk to her" I shook my head knowing I wasn't ready to talk to her yet Polly sighed saying "well what do I do she sounds pretty upset" I responded saying "I don't know just tell her I'm not here or something".

Y/n's P.O.V

"I'm sorry Y/n but Steve's not here" Polly said before I felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I spoke saying "could you uh tell him to give me a call when he gets back" Polly responded saying "sure I'll let him know" I wiped my tears before saying my goodbyes to Polly. I hung up the phone and walked back to the bedroom before continuing to cry , I don't know what hurt worse knowing I hurt Steve or hearing that he didn't wanna talk to me. I knew he was their , I heard him  tell Polly to tell me he wasn't their and after how I treated him I deserved it. I changed into some more comfortable clothes so I could try to take a small nap before going over to Joyce's since I was afraid I was getting to tired. I began to look around for a warm sweater of Steve's I could wear before hearing a knock on the bedroom door , I spoke saying "come in" before drying more of my tears. Katie walked in with a box in her arms before saying "your still upset huh" I nodded before she walked over and put the box on the bed before saying  "you know he's not innocent he's done his fair share of things" I side before she added "now I don't want you t get angry but I lost one of Ollie's sock and when I looked under the bed in the other room I found this" she then gestured to the box before she continued "now I know your hurt but if you saw what was in here I think you'd get over it" I walked over thinking maybe it was the box that had all the letters in it I had written to Steve over the years or maybe it was the box filled with all the pictures that we had yet to put up in the apartment. I opened the box to see it was filled with what appeared to be magazines , I pulled one of the magazines out of the box to see it wasn't just a magazine but a dirty one. I could feel the color out of my face flush before I dropped it back in the box , I thought all the air had left my lungs. I spoke saying "how the hell is that supposed to make me feel better that's-" she cut me off saying "heartbreaking isn't it , it hurts when you realize that he doesn't care about you , that your not the only women in his life I mean this is the same guy who cheated on you when you were pregnant and your going to stay with him. Y/n what if you for some stupid reason decide to have another baby huh what if he does it again , what if he cheats on you again with someone you knew-" I cut her off saying "it was never with someone I knew-" Katie cut me off saying "it was Matt's sister didn't you know her and think about it if he cheats on you again he wouldn't be hurting just you , he'd also hurt Jackson I mean if your willing to put Jackson in that situation then your a terrible person and an awful mother". I felt even more tears prick my eyes before Katie added. "I huh I just don't want you to get hurt okay I want you to realize their are other people out their besides Steve" I scoffed saying "I know that I-" Katie cut me off saying "no you don't , you don't know so what you slept with Stewart a few times who doesn't sleep with their best friend once or twice it's no big deal but actually try to date someone". I rolled my eyes saying "I've tried dating okay , I've been on dates , I've had a boyfriend and it didn't work okay I need him , I need Steve" Katie sighed saying "you know I used to really respect you for doing it on your own and being a single mom but the fact that you just run back to him whenever you need affection is ridiculous , he dumps a girl and the next day he's in bed with you it's ridiculous". My jaw feel before Katie added "oh you didn't think mom told me about that Alison girl , I mean have you thought about what's gonna happen when she shows up with that baby" I responded saying "she wasn't pregnant Katie she made it up". Katie scoffed saying "so you don't think there's someone else out their with his kid I mean seriously he's sleep with everyone I'm sure he's got another kid out their hell he's probably got a few out their and the fact you considering having another one with him is ridiculous". I shook my head saying "no I'm not letting you do this okay , your not taking this away from me" Katie scoffed saying "take what away- oh god your already pregnant aren't you god that's why you've been all moody and that's why you haven't been drinking lately. Y/n why am I not surprised with you I mean is that what that was out their what were you gonna call him and tell him and expect him to come back to you I hate to break it to you but that's not how it goes if it did Patrick would still be around". I sighed before realizing what's been infront of me this whole time , Katie was hurt I didn't know if she was hurt by seeing Steve and I together or hurt that she had to go through what I went through. I knew her pain , I knew what it felt like to have the father of my child not be around and feeling angry at them yet feeling sad that they were missing their child's life. I then realized that Katie was stalling me on purpose last night and I knew why because if I wasn't their she'd be alone and I knew when I was in that position that loneliness was the worst part of it all. I sighed before pulling my sister in a hug before saying "I'm sorry" she responded saying "I'm sorry too I just I just don't want you getting hurt but I shouldn't have snapped and I shouldn't have eavesdropped or snopped or hogged you last night , this stupid fight you two are having is all my fault". I shook my head saying "no it's not it's my fault god I mean why do sisters always have to fight" she shook her head saying "I don't know but let's not do it anymore". I nodded before she added "so what can I do to help this whole situation" I responded saying "well I'll try calling again when I get back" Katie shook her head saying "no I'll go watch the kids and you go to him" I sighed saying "I can't" Katie responded saying "why not". I frowned saying "he isn't going to want to see me and besides I don't really know what to say" Katie responded saying "start with sorry and if he doesn't want to see you too bad" I shook my head saying "you know I'll go over their tomorrow I haven't seen the kids in a while". Katie responded saying  "are you sure" I nodded before she added "okay then so before you go you should probably try and figure out what your going to say" I nodded before Katie and walked out of the bedroom.

Steve's P.O.V "your going to call her or I will" Polly said before I sighed saying "I'm not talking to her" Polly shook her head saying "that's too bad okay I'm not babying you like mom okay your a grown man act like one". I rolled my eyes before David spoke saying " okay I'm still confused on what's going on" Polly sighed saying "my idiot brother is all pissed because Y/n didn't show up to his stupid birthday party yesterday". David nodded before I spoke up saying "that's not just it okay ever since Katie's been their she's been hogging Y/n and I'm not mad because it's me she's ignoring she's ignoring Jackson too and he doesn't deserve that". Polly scoffed saying "oh I'm sorry the guy who abandoned that kid for a year but only used him when it made him look good is gonna tell me what he needs". I responded saying "he doesn't deserve that he deserves better" Polly shook her head saying "well she's his mom you can't do that you can't take him away from her" I sighed saying "I'm not trying to take him away from her I'm trying to give him a break and let him not have to sit their and have her ignore him I mean I don't know if I even want to have another kid with her". Polly put her hands in her head before saying "she's pregnant oh you idiot why would you-" I cut her off saying "she's not okay it's just we've been talking about it and now I don't even know if that's what I want I mean I'd like to marry her before doing that so we could maybe do something in the correct order but her dad shut me down twice". Polly sighed saying "oh uh didn't know you two were ever gonna do that" I nodded saying "yeah I mean I've wanted to marry her since I was five" Polly chuckled saying "I forgot about that" David spoke up saying "forgot about what" Polly responded saying. "This one came home from the first day of kindergarten  talking all about this girl and how she was the love of his life and he was going to marry her someday but didn't she' push you" I nodded saying "yeah but I was kinda asking for I kinda used to pick on Y/n a lot" Polly responded saying "I didn't know that" I nodded saying "yeah uh I stole on of her crayons in kindergarten and in uh second grade I cheated off her spelling test oh and in uh third grade I uh paint in her shoes". Polly shook her head saying "you two have a really weird way of showing affection to one another" I nodded before she added "okay so have you tried talking to her mom , I mean maybe her dad said no because of last time". David spoke up again saying "what do you mean last time" Polly huffed saying "will you keep up Steve and Y/n were engaged when she was pregnant with Jackson which in my opinion made no sense because you'd have to wait two years but that's fine I mean I don't even know why it was broken off". I responded saying "Y/n broke it off cause I started spiraling again" Polly sighed saying "well before you do ask her you should probably quit drinking cause you can't slip up like you did last time". I sighed saying "it was one beer and it was my birthday and I was having a pretty hard day okay get off my back" Polly responded saying "excuses , excuses Steve okay one beer leads to two and two leads to thee and before you know it your beyond wasted you've got to stop okay it's not healthy" I rolled my eyes before saying "I have control okay" Polly scoffed saying "oh so the guy who cheated on his pregnant girlfriend now claims he has self control , where was self control when you hooked up with Heather or Lizzy or Ally or whatever the hell Matt's sisters name is where's your self control their". I stood up from the table before saying "I'm not doing this with you , I'm leaving" Polly scoffed saying "oh run away like you always do , you ran from Y/n now your running from here no ones surprised by you anymore Steve" I grabbed my bag before Buster and I left Polly's.

Y/n's P.O.V I stood in front of my uncle Jim's house he had bought a few years ago after he for some unknown reason moved out of my great grandfathers cabin he had been living in with his daughter El. I was pretty close with El , when my uncle first adopted her she was very quiet and a bit shy but over time she opened up a bit more and was super sweet. At first when Uncle Jim adopted El he wanted to be quiet about it , I never knew why but I figured it was none of my business but over time El became like a little sister to me and I missed hanging out with her. When Jackson was two I spent most of that summer spending time with El but as she got older and started going to school and I got a more stable job we only spent birthdays and holidays together. I knocked on the door before waiting for a response , I knew that after this was over I would go home , get some rest and go see Steve tomorrow and apologize. I knew he needed his space and I was starting to feel more hopeful and that somehow this could all work out and Steve and I would be fine and I was trying to stay hopeful so I wouldn't think about what could happen if this didn't work out. The door opened revealing Joyce on the other side , she spoke saying "oh hi Y/n , come in" I walked into the house before she added "how are you" I responded saying "good". She sighed saying "really are you sure" I nodded saying "I'm fine" Joyce spoke again saying "listen hon I didn't see you at the party last night did something happen" I shook my head before hearing Uncle Jim talking to someone in the other room "I said no , your not going over and seeing him" I walked into the Livingroom with Joyce to see that Uncle Jim and El were appearing to have some type of argument. El responded saying "but-" Uncle Jim cut her off saying "no I said no your staying here do you understand that" Joyce spoke saying "Jim are you ready" Uncle Jim nodded before walking over to me saying "be careful of her she's uh been sneaking out" I nodded before El spoke up saying "I can hear you" Uncle Jim walked out of the living room before Joyce spoke saying "okay so Will is over at Lucas's , El has a history project she's working on and we should be home by ten" I nodded before saying "did you see Jonathan yet" Joyce furrowed her brows before saying "oh no dear he'll be her tomorrow he called this morning to tell me he was swamped at work". Oh my god Jonathan lied , he lied to Joyce and I couldn't believe it I felt bad but I nodded before Jim walked back in saying "uh Y/n do you mind kinda scaring her with I don't know like a story where maybe you second guessed having Jackson cause-"Joyce cut uncle Jim off saying "Jim don't say that" he responded saying "well Joyce she won't listen to me so maybe she'll-" Joyce cut him off saying "Jim enough" Uncle Jim walked out of the room before saying "I'm sorry about him he's just very overprotective of her after everything that happened with Sara" I nodded before saying "her birthday's tomorrow" she responded saying "I think that's why it's been really hard for him" I nodded before she added "so uh we should be back around ten you kids have fun and El listen to Y/n please" El and I both nodded before Joyce and Uncle Jim walked out the door.

Steve's P.O.V I knocked on the front door of my parents house , I couldn't believe it I was a grown man and I was on my parents front steps drying off tears. Before the front door opened reveling my mother on the other side , she spoke saying "hi honey this is a nice surprise" I sighed before she added "did you and your sister get into a fight" I nodded silently before mom gestured for me to come into the house. Mom spoke again saying "have you had dinner yet" I shook my head before mom sighed saying "well put your bag down and let's eat , uh you'll have to stay on the couch Nanny's in town" I nodded before walking into the dinning room to see just dad sitting at the table he spoke saying. "so did you piss your sister off" I rolled my eyes before saying "where's Jackson" mom responded saying "he's down the street at Peter's he should be back soon" I nodded before mom added "sit down dinners almost ready" before I could say anything else another voice spoke "oh hello Steven" I sighed saying "hi Nanny" she spoke again saying "did you have a good birthday". Mom shook her head before Nanny added "where's Y/n" Dad spoke up saying "mother leave him alone-" Nanny cut dad off saying "John Michael Harrington I asked a question , where is Y/n" I responded saying "she's at home I guess" Nanny furrowed her brows before saying "you guess" I nodded before the doorbell rang , Dad spoke saying "that must be Jackson I'll be right back" Nanny sat down as dad left the room. Nanny spoke saying "is everything okay Jennifer" mom nodded silently before Nanny added "are you sure I mean it's unlike you to not have a glass of wine in your hand so I assumed you weren't feeling well". Mom responded saying "Lucille- I mean Mrs. Harrington how long did you say you were staying" Nanny sighed saying "well I was thinking maybe till new years or at least until you drove me nuts" Mom rolled her eyes before Nanny added "so am I going to see my granddaughter while I'm here" Mom responded saying "I don't know , what happened Steve" I sighed saying "David showed up that's what happened" Nanny shrugged saying "who is that" Mom responded saying "oh that would be Polly's on and off again boyfriend" Nanny nodded saying "and what does he do" Mom responded saying. "Military , he's uh oh god Steve what is he again" I spoke saying "he's in the Navy" Nanny nodded again saying "does he comes from a good family Jennifer". Mom responded saying "the Henderson's are good , poor kid his father passed away what five years ago I think" Nanny sighed saying "Jesus Jennifer your memory is terrible you need to start writing these things down , so when is Polly finished with law school" Mom responded saying "she graduates next spring" Nanny nodded before Jackson ran into the dinning room. He imminently ran into my moms arms before he looked at me and spoke saying "why are you here" mom gasped saying "Jackson you be nice to daddy" Jackson responded saying "is he still pouting" mom responded saying "Jackson go give dad a hug and a kiss and go sit down" Jackson got up before walking over and giving me the most half-assed hug I've ever gotten and I've gotten some pretty shitty hugs before. Mom stood up before dad spoke saying "sit down Jenifer I'll get it" mom sighed before following dad to the kitchen "Steven" nana said before adding "what is going on with her , did I miss something" I shrugged before Mom and Dad walked back into the dinning room with dinner.

Y/n's P.O.V

I was sitting on the couch with El , Joyce and Jim had been gone for an hour and I felt bad saying it but I was bored. I mean usually El was bright and bubbly and was talking a million miles a minute but all of the sudden she's quiet and more focused on the tv. I spoke saying "so how's school" she nodded saying "good" another one word answer which is what I got when earlier I asked how she was. I sighed before she spoke again saying "Jonathan's here in Hawkins" I responded saying "how did you-" she cut me off saying "I just know" I nodded before she added "I feel bad for Joyce she doesn't deserve it" I nodded again before saying. "Is everything okay with us El I mean your usually more talkative , I mean are you sure everything's okay I mean you can tell me anything". El frowned saying "it's just I don't wanna hurt your feelings talking about School stuff or parties or prom cause-" I cut her off saying "because I didn't get any of that , El your not hurting my feelings I'm happy for you I want to hear all about it" Before El could responded the front door open and shut. I looked at the clock since it was too early for Joyce and Jim to be home  a moment or so later Will , Lucas and Max. Before I could say hello Lucas spoke saying "oh it's just you" I responded saying "yeah is-" Will cut me off saying "oh we just thought that Jackson would be here too" I shook my head before Max spoke saying "well we miss him and were sorry we didn't show up last night" I nodded saying "it's okay and he misses you guys too he talks about you guys all the time" they nodded before Lucas spoke saying "Christmas breaks coming up we'll try to see him then" I nodded again before Will spoke up saying "are they still broken up" I shrugged before he added "El and Mike". My jaw feel before turning to El and saying "you and Mike broke up" she shrugged before Max spoke saying "your already back together aren't you" El silently nodded before I spoke saying "do you kids wanna stay , I mean I haven't seen you guys since summer" they nodded before sitting with El and I. It was weird it felt like yesterday they were kids and now they were seniors in high school I mean if they were getting older that meant so was Jackson and I defiantly knew I wasn't ready for that.

It was the following morning after watching El and I had just knocked on the Harrington's front door , I knew what I needed to do I needed to apologize and I did feel awful that Mrs. Harrington threw the party and that I didn't show up and I felt even more terrible about hurting Steve. The door opened revealing Jackson on the other side , he jumped into my arms before I spoke saying "Hi sweet pea I missed you , oh mommy missed you so much". Before Jackson could respond I hear Mrs. Harrington say "Jackson we do not open the door I told you to wait for- oh it's you" I responded saying "Hi Jen-" she cut me off saying "It's Mrs. Harrington". Oh shit Mrs. Harrington must've not been happy with me if she wasn't allowing me to call her by her first name but then again if some girl hurt my son I'd probably be cold to her , oh god the idea of that happening makes me wanna sob. I looked at Jackson saying "why don't you get your things so we can go home" he nodded before running off before I looked at Mrs. Harrington saying. "I uh was just coming to apologize about last night I'm sorry that was unacceptable and completely rude of me and I'm sure the party was amazing". She nodded saying "oh the party was great except for poor Steve who just sat there and waited and waited for you to show up , if you weren't my grandson's mother I'd slam this door right in your face". I nodded saying "and it's probably what I deserve" she responded saying "your goddamn right" Jackson ran back before Mrs. Harrington pecked his cheek before saying goodbye to Jackson.

I walked through the front door with Jackson , I felt a little better having my sweet pea with me but it still wasn't the same I missed Steve. I walked into the Livingroom where Jackson had ran into and sat on the couch , I spoke saying "I missed you sweet pea" Jackson nodded silently. He hadn't said a single word to me since I had picked him up , he was probably mad at me sure he was six and didn't probably fully understand what was going on but he did know that I hurt Steve. I took the seat next to Jackson before saying "you miss daddy don't you" he nodded silently again before I got an idea , I walked down the hall before walking into my bedroom and grabbing a box out of the closet before walking back out into the Livingroom. I spoke saying "you know when I miss daddy I look through this box" I put the box down on the floor before moving the coffee table since I knew their was a lot in this box and I would need a lot of space. Jackson stood up and walked over before taking the seat next to me , I opened the box before pulling out the shoebox that was on top of everything else. I opened it before pulling out pictures , Jackson gasped before taking one of the pictures out of my hand saying "mommy look" he pointed to the picture before he added "where's the scar on your foot" I shrugged saying "I guess that was before that happened" he nodded before picking up another picture saying "mommy is this when it happened" I responded saying "when what happened baby" he sighed saying "daddy told me you stepped on a shell at the lake is this when it happened" I took the picture from him before seeing that it in fact was that trip to the lake it also happened to be the trip where Jackson was conceived. I nodded saying "yep that was it" Jackson then added "daddy also said you cried a lot" I scoffed saying "oh really did you know on daddy and I's second date he got stung by a bee and he cried about for an hour" he chuckled before I continued to look through the pictures with Jackson. I stood up saying "I'm gonna make popcorn does that sound good" he ignored me before continuing to look through the pictures. After the popcorn was popped I sat back down before Jackson handed me another picture he spoke saying "mommy do you see that" I nodded saying "I do , I see the most cutest baby I've ever seen" he sighed saying "mommy were matching that's really embarrassing". I chuckled saying "okay that was an accident I was running late and I grabbed the first thing and ran out the door , it just happened to look a lot like I was wearing" he sighed again before picking another picture saying "mommy what is this" I looked at the picture and responded saying "that was your second Halloween you were cookie monster that year , you absolutely loved sesame street and you used to drive daddy and I crazy with it but you were so adorable". he huffed before I picked one of the pictures up in the pile and spoke saying "do you know who this is" he shrugged saying "this is daddy when he was your age" Jackson nodded before I looked at the picture and spoke again saying "you know you look just like him" Jackson shook his head before I added "yes you do , you have that smile and those freckles and of course those beautiful eyes" Jackson responded saying "mommy why does daddy have my blankie" I chuckled saying "oh sweet pea that used to be daddy's blankie when you were growing in my tummy daddy gave this to you he wanted you to have this". Jackson responded saying "really" I nodded before he looked in the box before saying "what's this" he then handed me what looked to be the remains of a crayon , I then noticed my last name was written on it. That's when I realized this was the crayon Steve stole from me in kindergarten , I knew it was mine because my mom put Jeffrey , Katie and I's names on everything at that age. I couldn't believe it that he had keep it and seeing that made me miss him much more , I sighed saying "it's just uh it's a long story" Jackson nodded before digging in the box more and pulling a paper out before saying. "Mama look" I took the paper from him before seeing it was his birth certificate. I spoke saying "when a baby is born the hospital gives this to the mommy and daddy , see me and daddy's name is on it" he nodded before saying "wait daddy's middle name is Michael too" I nodded before he added "that's my middle name". I responded saying "yep it's also papa's and his dad's" Jackson responded saying "where does papa's daddy live" I frowned saying "oh baby he got sick when daddy was little so he's not here anymore" he responded saying "like aunt Paige's and uncle Matt's mommy" I nodded saying "but you know what I know their watching over you I know their your guardian angels" he snuggled his head in the crook of my neck before looking at my necklace saying "mommy why don't you have a letter for daddy" I shrugged saying "what do you mean sweet pea" he responded saying "you have a J for Jackson but you don't have a letter for daddy" I nodded saying. "Do you think I need one" he nodded before he spoke again saying "why are you wearing daddy's shirt" I shrugged before realizing that I was in fact was wearing one of Steve's shirts. I picked up another stack of photos ,  photos of when Jackson and I were in the hospital after he was born three weeks premature and after I caught pneumonia Jackson and I were in the hospital for quite some time. I choose to never look at these pictures because I didn't want to remember the pain or the hurt or the frustration I had felt during that time but of course Steve wanted the pictures to one day show Jackson how far he's come and how strong I was and I now regret all those times I was cold to Steve about it cause when I looked at those pictures it showed how I made it through. It shows how far Jackson and I have come, Jackson spoke saying "who is that mommy" I responded saying "that's you sweet pea" he shrugged saying "but why am I so small" I responded again saying. "Well you were uh a month early" Jackson responded saying "why" I shrugged saying "I uh I guess you were ready to see the world" he nodded saying "was I okay" I nodded saying "yep you had to spend a little time in the hospital-" Jackson cut me off saying "why". I responded saying "oh uh you were just so little that they had to make sure everything was okay" he responded saying "was I" I nodded saying "yep everything was perfect" Jackson nodded before I continued to look through the pictures before I had another idea. I walked into the hallway and opened the hall closet before pulling out a box I had seen a few days ago full of empty  picture frames I walked back out before pulling out the picture frames and filling them with pictures. "Okay" I said before adding "can you hand me another picture" Jackson nodded before handing me a picture , I looked to see it was one from when Steve and I graduated high school. After I filled the frames Jackson spoke saying "mommy" I nodded before he added "yesterday I saw uncle Jonathan" I responded saying "where did you see him sweet pea" Jackson responded saying "at Benny's with somebody else" I nodded before saying "who took you to Benny's" Jackson spoke saying. "I went with Mimi , Daddy and Aunt Polly but mommy he was with someone but it wasn't aunt Lizzy" I sighed since I know he was talking about Jonathan's ex girlfriend Liz or who Jackson called Aunt Lizzy. Jackson spoke again saying "mommy do you know who it was" before I could respond saying "I think she knew daddy but daddy didn't say anything" I responded saying. "Well uh that was Nancy her and uh uncle Jonathan are gonna get married" Jackson nodded saying "what about Aunt Lizzy" I sighed saying "well Aunt Lizzy and Uncle Jonathan broke up their not together anymore". Jackson responded saying "are you and daddy broken up" I shook my head before pulling Jackson on my lap and wiping his tears that were beginning to fall before saying "no were not broken up it's just daddy and I had- well what I did yesterday wasn't very nice to daddy". Jackson responded saying "but didn't you say that daddy wasn't very nice a long time ago" I sighed saying "you know just because someone isn't nice to you that doesn't mean you don't need to be nice to them but what I did wasn't very nice". Jackson nodded saying "when is daddy going to come home" I shrugged before saying "you know what tomorrow I'll pick you up from school and we can go surprise daddy at work how does that sound" Jackson nodded before I wiped another tear off his cheek.

Steve's P.O.V "Steven you have to get out of this bed let's go wake up it's almost noon" Mom said before adding "Steven Michael Harrington out of this bed right now". I rolled over before saying "just leave me alone" Mom scoffed saying "no I will not come downstairs your father and I want to talk to you about something" I sighed before saying "no I'm going out , you want me to get up I'll get up and go out" Mom shook her saying "oh no you won't I'm not letting you go down that path-" I cut mom off saying "mom I'm going out with Jackson okay I just want to spend some time with my son". Mom sighed saying "uh that is uh well that won't happen Y/n just picked him up" I huffed before putting my head back on the pillow as she added "honey I'm sorry-" I cut mom off saying "it's fine mom I just wanna be alone".

The Following Day

I was sitting at my desk at work , it was Monday and I was still trying to figure out what exactly I was going to say to Y/n. I mean I didn't know if we were still together or not but I knew I should probably stop dodging her I mean she still is Jackson's mother and someone I care deeply about. My thoughts were interrupted by hearing the phone on my desk ring , I picked it up before saying "hello this is Harrington family insurance how may I help you" the voice on the other line spoke saying "hi this is Shelly at Hawkins memorial Hospital is Steve Harrington their". I responded saying "this is Steve Harrington" she responded saying "I'm calling in regards to a patient who was just admitted , do you happen to know a Y/n Yl/n" I responded saying "yes did something happen" she responded saying "their was just a minor car accident Y/n's fine she'll be able to go home tomorrow I just need you to come down here and sign some paperwork for her". I spoke saying "I'm sorry can you slow down what's happened" she responded saying "Y/n's been is a car accident"......

Taglist @queenofthehairharrington @charmed-asylum @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @nxncywheeler @evemarie05 @khiaraaa-in-spacee @art-flirt @harringtown @wolfish-willow 

[purplesurveys]

1041

survey by chasingghosts

What is the age gap between you and your parents? 27 for both. Technically, 26 years with my mom since she had yet to celebrate her birthday when she had me, but she was going to turn 27 all the same. Guh. I can’t believe I’m just five years away from that and I’m still nowhere near building my own family.

How many bathrooms does your house have? Is this enough? Two. I’d say it’s enough. Two people in the family rarely have to go to the bathroom at the same time so it works out for us.

Have you sent a letter to anyone in the past year? Yeah. I used to give Gabie a handwritten letter every Christmas along with her gifts. I still plan on writing her one, but obviously the content will be vastly different now.

Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? I did this with Carley a handful of times; we’d video chat when I came home from school which was around the time she would get ready for school. She was such an extrovert who was so lovely and bubbly around me, and I’ve always felt bad that she had to contend with my shy ass with my mic always muted lol.

Are you hungry or thirsty right now? I’m neither but I can go for a light meal right now, which is great because I got myself a chicken barbecue sandwich and a caramel macchiato from Starbucks as a treat for myself tonight :) I went through five video call meetings just for today alone, went through several breakdowns while at work, and am also on my period, so I thought I deserved a break.

When was the last time you ate something, and what did you eat? Literally just had a bite from my sandwich.

Have you ever seen the film Boondock Saints? Nope. Sounds nothing like my type of film.

Do you own a pair of gumboots? Nah. I don’t like walking in floods anyway, so I don’t plan on getting a pair.

What colour is your favourite mug? Copper.

How far away from your town/city is your state's capital city? I already live in my province’s capital.

Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? I haven’t.

Do you know anyone named Doug? No, not really a common name here.

What cut of jeans is your favourite and why? Do mom jeans count as a cut? I’ve been all over those throughout 2020. They’re stylish and yet so comfy, which are two words that seldom go together.

Do you rate people's attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? Uhhhhhhhh unless a friend asked me to rate someone they know, I don’t really think in these terms.

Name a few of your favourite actors. Kate freaking Winslet. Also Kristen Stewart, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn, Brie Larson, Florence Pugh, and Eddie Redmayne. I’d name Timothée Chalamet but I have yet to see a work of his.

Do you collect anything, or have you ever? The first item I ever collected was notebooks. In my past relationship (is it obvious I’m not over it yet and probably never will be? Ha) I initially liked to collect receipts from places we went to and ate at. I’d also like to be able to grow a collection of wrestling memorabilia, particularly action figures and belts. It’s not really a life goal of mine but it’d still be a cool thing to achieve.

So, how has your week been so far? I mean it’s only Monday, so nothing much. I cried and broke down a lot today which wasn’t a good start, but tomorrow’s a holiday so no work; and for Thursday I was invited to the Christmas party of the department I initially interned at and apparently they’ll be sending over a Christmas kit over to my place so I’m looking forward to these! It’s super touching they remembered and still invited me even though I’m not a part of the team anymore, so I wouldn’t have missed the party for the world.

Is there anything that you could cry about right now? Definitely, and being on my period at the moment makes it so much easier to cry. But I already cried too much and too hard earlier today and it felt exhausting, so I’m trying to avoid it tonight.

How old were you when you learned how to tie your shoelaces? I was five. I probably would’ve made myself learn later but one of our ‘exams’ in kindergarten was to show that you know how to tie your shoelaces, so I had to ask my grandma to give me a crash course.

Have you ever slept in a car overnight? Why did you have to? Yeah. I had to pull several all-nighters in college and work at 24/7 coffee shops, but I usually gave up by around 2-3 AM and would sleep in the car by then.

When was the last time you used Facebook? Earlier this evening, but I couldn’t scroll too much because spoilers for Start Up are everyyyyyyfuckingwhere and I’m still several episodes away from the finale, which aired last night.

Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? Our mails and parcels get sent straight to our door.

Are you interested in entomology? Do you know what that is? Never been. I think it’s great that insects have a lot of capabilities and contributions that we often take for granted; but I personally find a great deal of them icky as well lol so I wouldn’t say I’m interested in this branch.

Have you ever had to claim insurance? What for? Hmm I don’t think so. Not my own nor my parents’. Do you like to listen to albums start-finish without skipping or shuffling? I’ll do this sometimes with my favorite albums, yes. Fuck knows how many times I listened to After Laughter from start to finish with no skips; it was my favorite for a while.

Do you have any unspoken enemies, or maybe frenemies? I’m not the biggest fan of Patrice, but it’s not something I broadcast to people because why would I? I’m sure she slightly does not like me too, so we’re even.

What was the last thing you broke? That would be my last phone charger cord. I’ve since had it replaced though.

Do you have a favourite state/province/territory in your country? Not necessarily an overall favorite but I do have a favorite place I’ve traveled to, which is Sagada. I need a second vacation to see if it still lives up to my expectations and if it would still be able to give me an experience as cathartic and therapeutic as my first trip there, but for the last five years it has sat on the throne.

How many vowels are in your street name? Is this question too mundane? Three. I mean I’ve never been asked this on a survey before, so I wouldn’t call it that.

What are your three top favourite flavours of ice cream? Cookies and cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, coffee.

How far away is the nearest Target? At least a couple thousand miles away.

Do you prefer Target, Kmart or Walmart? Idk and idc.

Have you ever farted in class or somewhere else you shouldn't have? No. I suppress my farts, even when I’m alone haha it’s just my least favorite bodily function.

What's your middle name? Would you change it? I’m not giving it away. I wouldn’t change it and I’m definitely not giving it up even if I get married. I’m keeping my middle name then just hyphenate my surname so that I get to keep all three names.

When was the last tie you wore heels? What was the occasion? September. Job interview for a position I didn’t really want but still chose to undergo because it was still an interview.

Do you find yourself lost for words often? I guess yeah, depression does tend to do that to me.

Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? Yep, I remember sharing the shower with my sister as late as when I was 10. Then puberty happened to me and I did not want to continue the practice anymore, haha.

Have you ever been a member of an online dating site? How did it go? I joined Tinder while I was in a relationship (she made an account as well at the time so it was fair game) literally just to people-watch. I wasn’t interested in cheating; I was just genuinely curious to see how the app worked. I put on a fake name, age, location and my profile photo was of a cat I saw in school so it was impossible to tell it was me.

Do you know what your neighbours even look like? I would not be able to recognize them if you lined them up with a bunch of other strangers, to tell you the truth. I’d probably be able to recognize the carpenters working on the house currently being constructed in front of ours though; they’re super nice and they’re crazy over Cooper haha.

How many siblings does your best friend have? Angela is an only child.

Do you put ketchup on your fries? No. Ketchup does not go anywhere near my fries.

Have you been lucky enough to make out with anyone in the past week? LOL lucky enough...but no, I haven’t done that in a while.

Have your parents ever worked in the agriculture business etc. on a farm? Neither have.

Do you have an ex that makes you angry with literally everything they do? No.

Are you easily susceptible to brain freeze? No but tooth sensitivity, yes. I have a certain tooth that acts up whenever I eat ice cream, and it can get soooo inconvenient and uncomfortable for a few seconds.

[harley-sunday]

A Good Man Goes to War [02]

Summary: Starts right after Civil War. Steve Rogers is done being Captain America and quite happy living a quiet life in a safe house somewhere in Canada. Until Thanos goes after the Infinity Stones. What happens when a good man goes to war?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (f) but could be read as reader insert.

Warnings: NSFW.

Word count: 4k

Entry for @browngirlmagic​‘s writing challenge. My prompt was “Demons run when a good man goes to war.”

AN: This part was fun to write, I’m sure you’ll see why once you’ve read it. Please let me know what you think! ♥

I don’t do taglists, but if you follow Harley Sunday x Steve Rogers you should see any update I post.

Masterlist

Things change after he comes back from that second mission. 

He catches her stealing looks at him more regularly, and finds himself doing the same when she’s engulfed in one of her books or busy in the kitchen. They are together even more than before, the colder weather making them move most of their activities indoors, even though he has to go out every now and again to get them more firewood, and so there’s more touching and accidentally on purpose bumping into each other too. 

One night in November she spikes their hot chocolates with whiskey, because, as she defends her actions, they were out in the cold all day today, clearing the roof  and driveway from snow, and they deserve a treat. She challenges him to a game of ‘Truth or Dare but Truths only’ once they’re settled on the couch and allows him to go first.

On his third question he finds out her father used to work together with Nick Fury after he retired from the Army a few years after she was born. But then the Iraq War happened, and even though by then he had already been retired for a few years, they still requested his assistance and he felt like he owed it to his country to go, even though she begged him no to. The circumstances of his death are still not clear to this day, but Nick personally went to retrieve his body even though this wasn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission, and promised to always look out for her. In return she offered to turn her cabin into a safe house, because that was what her father intended to do during his retirement, quietly adding that he’s been the first person she’s ever hosted and that it’s been just her for all these years. 

She tells him she’s received basic training, that she has a couple of weapons stowed away somewhere close by, and that Nick provided her with a car that had the same technology his has. He knew it. He can’t help but laugh then, because he wonders out loud what Nick would say if he knew that up until now she’s only used the car for her weekly shopping trips. 

She laughs to, asks him to not tell on her with a wink, and then, to lighten the mood after this depressing story, as she puts it, she asks him whether he knows people call him the human Dorito, what with his broad shoulders and narrow hips. When he admits he doesn’t know what Doritos are she just laughs and pulls an image up on her phone.

“People say I look like a tortilla chip?” He narrows his eyes as he reads the Wikipedia entry on Doritos.

“Apparently,” 

He just sighs and hands her her phone back. 

“Ok, your turn,” 

“Uh, right,” he sits up, but finishes his hot chocolate first, trying to come up with a good question. He smiles then, “Have you bought any more new plants during my last mission?”

She shakes her head, looking extremely proud, “Nope.” She laugh when he raises an eyebrow at her, “I swear!”

He nods, “Sure.”

“Steve Rogers!” she exclaims and hits his upper arm, making a face when it doesn’t seem to have any impact whatsoever, “when have I ever lied to you?” 

He makes it seem like he has to think about it, which winds her up even more, her arms now crossed in front of her chest as she eyes him suspiciously. 

She straightens her leg and gently nudges him with her foot, “Well?”

“No, you’re right,” he admits, gently patting her leg, “never.” He smiles at her, “Your turn.”

“Ok,” she says as she grabs her mug and holds up a finger as she drains the last of her hot chocolate. She mumbles something about a refill and Dutch courage then as she gets up and grabs his cup, “I’m getting us more.”

“I’ll take one without the hot chocolate,” he says, even though he’s not quite sure where that came from. He’s not a drinker, not really anyway, but somehow it feels fitting for this evening. 

She looks at him from over her shoulder, already halfway to the kitchen, and nods appreciatively, “I’ll join you.” He hears her rummage through the cabinets, before she pours the drinks and returns with two tumblers. She hands him his and clinks hers against it, “Cheers.” 

“Cheers,” he echoes with a smile before he takes a sip, the amber liquid burning down his throat in not an entirely unpleasant way. “Still your turn.”

“Oh. Yeah, right,” she agrees, “So truth, or truth?”

“Truth,” he agrees solemnly.

She looks at him for a moment, and seems a little lost in her own thoughts until she puts her glass down on the coffee table. She looks up at him, the hint of a smile playing on her lips as she takes a deep breath, almost as if she’s about to jump into the deep end. Which, he guesses, in a way she does when she asks, “If I were to kiss you right now, would you let me?”

He opens his mouth to tell her, yes, of course, but words fail him and so he just nods. He can feel his heart beating faster and faster in his chest, and it’s like suddenly he’s hyper-aware of everything but especially her. He watches her as she leans forward, her hands gently cupping his face, her thumbs stroking his beard before she pulls him towards him and her lips meet his. She’s hesitant at first, the touch feather light, but her hands find their way into his hair then and she pulls him even closer.

His body reacts immediately and he wants to feel more of her, and so he puts his hands on her waist and pulls her onto his lap until she’s straddling him, her lips never leaving his. He presses her against him and opens his mouth, deepening the kiss and it’s like there are sparks flying between them. She responds by running her tongue along his teeth, her arms now draped over his shoulders, hips grinding into his. A groan escapes him and he pulls back a little, panting now.

She rests her forehead against his, breathing a little faster too, “That was-”

“Yeah,” he agrees with a smile.

“Wow.” 

He ends up in her bed that night, but nothing else happens because they agree to take things slow, at least for now. She marvels at how much heat his body radiates, joking that at least she has found a way to keep warm during the winter. He retaliates by pulling her even closer to him, wishing they could stay like this forever.

By now he should know to be careful what he wishes for because the message from Natasha comes just three days later, the pickup a five-hour drive away this time. He finds her in the kitchen, of course, and shows her the mission brief.

She looks up at him once she’s done reading, and he can tell she’s putting on a brave face, “At least you’ll be home in time for Christmas, right?”

If they’re lucky, he thinks, because they’ll be cutting it awfully close. He doesn’t tell her that though, doesn’t want her to worry about having to spend yet another Christmas alone and knowing he’ll do whatever it takes to be back in time. He cups her face and presses a kiss to her forehead, before he wraps her arms around her, “Right.”

“You need to get ready,” she says, her voice muffled by his flannel shirt. “I’ll make you some food.”

He reluctantly lets go of her and walks back upstairs, finding clothe for the bike ride, his suit waiting for him on the Quinjet. He makes a mental note to ask Natasha to give him a little more time for now on, because he hates these rushed goodbyes. Back downstairs he puts on his trusted brown leather lace-up boots and then throws on his jacket.

She hands him a carefully wrapped package and a thermos he knows is filled with coffee, before she stands up on her toes and kisses him. “Promise me you’ll be careful.” 

There’s more weight behind her question this time, almost like a plea, and so he makes sure to look at her when he says, “I promise.” Then, because he realizes it’s true, “I love you.”

She smiles, “I love you too.”

He gets back the night before Christmas Eve, one day earlier than predicted, the mission surprisingly easy once they knew what they were dealing with. Sam wanted to celebrate, get a couple of drinks somewhere, but all he wanted was to get back her. Natasha looked at him the way she always does when she thinks he’s hiding something from her, and so even though he told her it was just because he wanted to make sure everything was alright back at the cabin, what with the first snow falling, he was sure she knew he wasn’t telling her the whole truth. She let it go though, and he was thankful for that. 

Like last time he finds her waiting for him on the porch, wrapped in big scarf, blowing warm air into her hands that are cupped in front of her mouth. It’s snowing ever so lightly and so he parks the bike next to the house, like last time. She catches up with him there, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately. 

He answers her kiss with the same determination and hooks his hands under her thighs, lifting her up, smiling when he feels her wrap her legs around him. He starts his way back to the door, but after bumping into the stack of firewood he reluctantly ends the kiss so he can at least see where he’s going. She whines at the loss of contact, which makes him laugh,  “‘M sorry, doll, almost there.” 

They’re inside then and he sets her down on the kitchen counter so he can take off his jacket before he unties his shoelaces and kicks his boots off, not caring where they land. His mouth finds hers again and he knows he’s not gentle, a want behind the kiss that she responds to by pulling him close to her, once again wrapping her legs around his waist. He has to brace himself by putting one hand on the counter, the other one tugging on the hem of her sweater, before he pushes it up and over her head, trying to be quick because he wants to feels her, taste her, and not let go. It’s the middle of winter and so there are two more layers he has to get out of the way before he gets to her bra, softly kissing the swell of her breasts.

“This seems unfair,” she mutters, hands in his hair as she watches him through hooded eyes. “Too much clothes.” Her hands find his belt then, unbuckling it with ease, before she grabs both his sweater and t-shirt and pushes them up, letting him take care of actually taking them off while she runs her fingers over his chest, quietly admiring the rise and fall of his pecs and stomach muscles. 

He feels himself getting harder and so he picks her up in one swift motion, earning him a little “Ooh,” from her. He carries her upstairs with ease, turning left to what is now their bedroom, and sits down on the bed, with her straddling his lap. She’s grinding her hips in a way that makes him dizzy and he’s lost all restraint then, letting himself fall backwards and taking her with him.

She grins and pushes herself off him, standing at the edge of the bed, pushing down her jeans and panties in one go before she takes off her bra. He follows suit and lifts his hips to get rid of his jeans and boxers and watches as she climbs onto the bed and lies down on top of him, his erection pressing against her stomach. One of her hands sneaks in between them, and she wraps it around his length, a sparkle in her eye when she realizes she can’t get her fingers to meet. She pumps him a few times, placing gentle kisses along his jawline and down his neck, whispering a quiet, “You ready?” into his ear.

He nods, words failing him. 

She pushes himself off, positioning herself while guiding him towards her entrance and then slowly lowers herself onto him. A shiver runs through her as he fills her and if it wasn’t for the look of pure bliss on her face he’d be worried he was hurting her. Once he’s fully inside she takes a moment to adjust, her eyes closed, hands resting on his chest, and he thinks it the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. A groan escapes him when she moves, before she does something with her hips that makes him fill her up even more, and then she’s riding him for real and he wants to last longer, really he does, but it’s almost too much. 

“Doll,” he warns her and she takes his cue, slowing down her rhythm. There’s some primal instinct that takes over then, and he grabs her hips and effortlessly moves her so she’s now underneath him, making sure he doesn’t pin his whole weight down on her. He keeps still for a moment, marveling at how good she feels and how well they fit together, before he picks back up where he left things.

“Steve,” she moans, her nails raking over his back, no doubt leaving marks every time he trusts and she seeks something to hold onto.

He can feel himself coming closer once again and when he looks at her he can tell she’s right there with him, her breathing more ragged, her eyes half-closed, and a sheen of sweat covering her face. She looks absolutely beautiful and he buries his face in her neck, his teeth dragging over her skin as he sends them both over the edge.

When he comes downstairs the next morning it’s cold, neither of them wanting to get out of bed to add more firewood during the night. He’s surprised to find a decorated Christmas tree in the corner next to the couch, and actually wonders if it was already here when he came home yesterday. But he was distracted by other things, he reasons, so he supposes he simply missed it. He investigates the tree after he gets the kindling burning and sees there are presents underneath it, each of them carefully wrapped with a red bow tied around them. He remembers something then and finds his jacket on the kitchen floor, taking a small package out of his pocket and placing it in between the presents, hiding it from view just a little. 

He tries to go back to bed after he gets the fire going, but she’s relentless and tells him they have chores to do and food to make and so he finds himself outside a little after breakfast, chopping some firewood to restock what they’ve already used. There are delicious smells coming from inside the house, but she won’t tell him what she’s making, wanting it to be a surprise for tonight, and so she has banned him from the kitchen for the next couple of hours. 

It isn’t until late afternoon that he hears her call for him, letting him know he’s allowed back inside. He has to do a double take when he sees her, because all of a sudden there’s a black dress underneath her apron, which is the complete opposite of what she usually wears. When he steps closer to her he notices the heels she’s wearing means she’s now at eye level with him and boy, is it a turn on.

She simply shakes her head at him and then throws him a wink, promising they’ll get to that later, before she tells him to hit the shower because dinner will be ready in an hour. 

He takes his time, makes sure to trim his beard, and smiles when he sees she’s bought him new clothes that she’s laid out on the bed for him. The dark blue pants fit perfectly and he likes the dark grey button-down shirt she’s paired them with. She even bought him new shoes even though she has a strict no-shoes-inside rule. Christmas must be the exception, he muses as he makes his way downstairs.

She’s just finished setting the table and smiles up at him when he walks into the kitchen, “Hello, handsome.”

“Right back at ya,” he says as he puts his hand on her hips and pulls her in for a kiss. He feel her drape her arms around his neck while she opens her mouth, and he kisses her slowly, simply enjoying the moment. There’s a beep then and she mutters something about how that must be the turkey and so he reluctantly lets go of her and asks her if there’s anything he can do.

“Maybe open the wine?” She nods towards the table, “I’ve put it there.” 

He admires the way she’s set the table, the dark red and green colors complementing each other and the decorations on the Christmas tree perfectly. He opens the bottle of wine as she asked, but doesn’t pour it yet, because well, she tells him not to. 

She joins him at the table with two small plates filled with what she tells him is smoked salmon on a beetroot blini, and he believes her in an instant. Returning to the kitchen she finally takes the apron off before she returns with two glasses of Lemon Sgroppino, which he recognizes only because Tony once served them at one of his more fancy parties. She tries to hand him a glass, but he’s too busy admiring the way her dress clings to her body in all the right places before flaring out towards the bottom. It hits just above her knee and he thinks she looks absolutely gorgeous. 

When he finally comes to his senses again he finds her looking at him with an amused look, and so he clears his throat and takes his glass from her.

“Cheers,” she says, clinking her glass against his.

“Merry Christmas, doll,” he replies with a smile and a wink.

The rest of the evening is spent eating, and drinking, and unwrapping gifts. They’ve moved to the couch for that, because as she reasoned, they’d be closer to the source that way. Most of them are useful, like the new gloves she got him, or the new lightweight axe she got herself, but then she spots his present in the pile and picks it up curiously, “What’s this?”

He shrugs, “Dunno.” 

“Hmm,” she replies, turning it over in her hands until she spots her name on the paper.

“Go on,” he encourages her. “Open it.” 

She does, and when she sees what’s inside she looks up at him with tears in her eyes, “You shouldn’t have.” 

He holds out his hands and motions for her to turn around so he can help her put the necklace on, his fingers stroking the skin of her neck when he’s done, marveling at the goosebumps that immediately appear. 

She turns back and shows him, the small ruby pendant glittering in the light. 

“It’s my birthstone,” he explains, “that way I’m always close to you even when I’m away.” He saw it on a market somewhere while he was away on his last mission, and it wasn’t until Natasha told him it was actually his birthstone that he just knew he had to get it for her. 

“It’s perfect.” 

They spent the rest of December holed up inside, only going outside to either get more firewood or to go on one of their afternoon walks, the rest of time spent on extracurricular activities that weren’t on her list of chores and mostly take place upstairs in their bedroom. It has been snowing non-stop since Christmas day and by New Year’s Eve he’s not sure they’ll ever make it back into town again. Not that they need to, what with all the food she’s been stocking and preparing ever since June. She’s trying to teach him how to knead bread but he just doesn’t seem to get it right and so he tells her he’ll stick to taking care of the plants instead. 

Both January and February pass by in a blur, with Natasha checking in on the secure phone at regular intervals even though there’s nothing to report. Apparently Fury has had some setbacks while preparing their next mission and so it has been postponed for now, which suits him just fine. The snow clears a little by the end of the month and the snowplow has finally cleared the road enough for them to venture into town. The farmer’s market is moved indoors during the winter, she informs him as she pulls up to a sports hall, which he thinks is sensible with these temperatures

The mission brief comes early in March, the one that took Fury too long to prepare, and so he goes into it with a feeling of dread. The mission has them try to infiltrate the black market in Russia and he’s gone for most of the month. Technically they succeed, but Sam’s severely injured and they have to fly the Quinjet to Finland so he can get the medical attention he needs, delaying their return by more than a week. When Natasha gives Fury a status update she almost loses it when he tells her going in was a calculated risk. He knows it’s futile to try and get her to calm down once she ends the call, so he lets her use him as his punching bag for a while, letting her hurl verbal abuse at him until she’s lost most of her anger.  

When he gets home she’s not there waiting for him on the porch like she did the last three times and so he worries something’s wrong. He rushes inside but doesn’t see her and that’s when he really starts to worry, until he hears noises coming from upstairs. He finds her in bed, looking terrible and she tells him to stay away from him because she thinks she has the flu. He ignores her, and sits down beside her, his hand on her forehead telling him there’s nothing wrong with her temperatures and he wonders if maybe it’s food poisoning. He tells her to try and get some sleep, promising her he’ll take care of the chores for a while.

She’s feeling a little better the next day and so he moves her to the couch, where he can keep an eye on her and she can guide him through preparing lunch and dinner. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to cook, it’s just that she has her ways of preparing things that he wants to learn as well. After dinner he sits down with her, her head resting on his lap as he tells her some of what happened in Russia, although he downplays Sam’s injury because he doesn’t want her to worry about them more than she already does. 

They make it into town that Wednesday, but he drives, and the market is still indoors. It’s two days shy of April, but still cold, and she tells him it doesn’t really get better until the end of May. She hands him the shopping list and says she’ll be back in a few minutes.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” he tries, because he still thinks she looks a little pale.

“I’ll be fine.” She gestures to somewhere across the street, “I just need to get some shampoo and toothpaste and stuff.” 

“Alright, well, if you’re not back in ten,” he grins, “I’m coming to get you.” 

“You do that,” she says as she starts walking towards the drugstore, then quietly, “see what happens.” 

He laughs, because this little jab tells him she’s back to her old self and there’s nothing to worry about.

[altumvidetur]

Harry Potter: Wolfstar Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

These are mostly old fics, because the Wolfstar tag is enormous and I’m not even close to finishing it. I hope you guys like the recommendations regardless!

(To my fellow relics of the fandom, do you guys remember when we didn’t know that Sirius and Remus were going to die? Those were the days~)

In the Morning, by kestrelsan

Werewolves and moonlight.

A Sword, a Horse, a Shield, by kestrelsan

Some things are better off forgotten.

Waiting for Doirbou, by unoriginal_liz

It wasn’t Sirius' fault Evans and her troop had introduced Truth or Dare to Hogwarts, it wasn’t his fault it had caught on, it wasn’t his fault James had decided to refine the game by using a truth charm. It wasn’t his fault Remus had chosen truth over dare, and it wasn’t his fault Mundungus had chosen to ask who was the first person Remus had ever fantasised about...

House, by kestrelsan

Sirius, Remus, a house.

what everybody gets, by victoria_p

Summary by me: [Crossover with Sandman] the dealings of Sirius Black with Death, Despair and Delirium.

Better Than This, by victoria_p

They deserve better. Then and now.

Something, by kaydeefalls

Wherein Harry isn't his father, Sirius paces, and Lupin shouldn't be surprised. 

Flannel, by victoria_p

The knowledge that only two thin layers of flannel separates them is driving Sirius crazy.

How Bitter a Thing, by victoria_p

"They fuck like other people make war."

When It Alteration Finds: Four Things That Never Happened to Remus Lupin, by victoria_p

Four houses, one student.

No Longer Bound, by switchknife

A strange alternate history, in which Remus was arrested that night he attacked Snape at the Shrieking Shack. What if Remus were the one imprisoned, and Sirius the one on the outside?

Sense and Lunacy, by cruisedirector

In some ways it's easier being a dog.

Assigning Blame, by V

A Potions accident makes Remus and Sirius temporarily allergic to each other. Wackiness ensues.

Under Me, You, by victoria_p

"I like my body when it's with your body."

All the Sinners, Saints, by victoria_p

Every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners, saints.

Three Days, by kestrelsan

Three days at 12 Grimmauld Place.

Speaking in Tongues, by victoria_p

We worship wine and pour our vows, and it is / Against my law to be without your face.

The More Things Change, by victoria_p

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Younger Than That Now, by victoria_p

I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.

Off the Wrist, by victoria_p

Remus wondered how two people who used to be able to finish each other's sentences couldn't even look each other in the eye anymore.

Home for the Holidays, by Jain

Sirius knows what he wants for Christmas.

The Razor’s Edge, by victoria_p

Summary by me: the two of them and a razorblade with sentimental value.

Raison D’Etre, jeeps

Summary by me: Sirius trips over words.

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, by victoria_p

"Who died and made you Elvis?"

Break, by mistykasumi

Remus knows that Sirius lied, even if Sirius doesn't know himself.

One-Night Stand, With Potential, by victoria_p

Summary by me: The morning after.

Time Enough for Loving, by victoria_p

There will be time enough for loving.

Jealous of Your Cigarette, by victoria_p

"Sirius tastes of cigarettes and firewhisky when Remus kisses him."

Unconditional, by victoria_p

"I thought you said you'd wait for me." "And I will. I said nothing about waiting *patiently*."

Stealing Harryverse, by copperbadge

On a dark night long ago, Sirius Black took a wrong turn and never found Peter Pettigrew. Instead of Azkaban, Sirius settled down in Little Whinging to keep an eye on his godson, and hired Remus Lupin to run his bookshop for him. Then one day when Harry was eight, Sirius found out how the Dursleys treated him, and stole him away.

Stealing Harry is an alternate universe version of Harry Potter's life before his time at Hogwarts. It is the story of Harry's family: Sirius and Remus, Ted and Andromeda, Nymphadora, Neville Longbottom, and even Severus Snape, all banded together against a newly powerful Peter Pettigrew who is still searching for a way to resurrect Voldemort.

Laocoon's Children follows Harry through his time at Hogwarts as he develops a very different group of friends: Hufflepuff Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw Padma Patil, and Gryffindor Neville Longbottom, strange companions for a Harry who was sorted into Slytherin -- the house of his beloved Professor Snape.

Balance of Power, by Tammaiya

In which James is a git, Remus thinks Sirius needs a psychiatrist and Sirius isn't always slow on the uptake.

Three Days (The Rebuilding the Temple Mix), by victoria_p

It seems they have both learned to hope.

spoilsport, by unoriginal_liz

It's final year.

A Late Frost, by kestrelsan

Remus and Sirius in the first war.

Adunatio, by Vixenette

A potion accident has unexpected consequences

Meaningless, by MapleTide

"It was all so meaningless, but everything could be considered meaningless now."

Lipstick Kissed, by MapleTide

Two boys, glitter, kohl, and a song playing in the background. Oh, yeah, and snogging.

Hauntings, by MapleTide

It's been fourteen years, and nothing changed. He still thought he could see him out of the corner of his eye, and yet when he turned, he found him missing. He discovered him still gone.

Getting It, by sabinelagrande

Sirius and Remus go for a late night ride on Sirius's bike.

Marrow, by Nausicaa

Remus Lupin towards the end of his twelve years in Azkaban.

Lifetime, by Nausicaa

Where you live.

The Gramophone, by Nirohmy

To cheer Remus up, Sirius takes him junk shopping, where he finds the love of his life -- an antique gramophone.

Straight on Till Morning, by victoria_p

Remus believes.

The Never-Ending Diary Of Remus Lupin, Aged 34 1/2, by Alshain

Remus Lupin's diary during his teaching time at Hogwarts

Ink Stains, by blackbird

Some love stories, like scars, are permanent.

73 Aberdeen, by Mici

There are some things ungoverned by fate. If Sirius Black had gone the path of every Black before him, if he had been in Slytherin, he would have been a very different boy. It would have been a very different war.

[babsxkean]

the shadows & monsters

The house was awake, the shadows and monsters The hallways, they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home

who: barbara kean-gordon, featuring mentions of everett and elizabeth kean, barbara gordon & jim gordon

when: 1982 - present day

where: the kean family mansion, gotham

barbara kean reflects on her childhood as she visits her parents on june 6, 2020.

tw: murder, abuse, body image 

It started when she was five years old.

My little piggy, her mother would say, if Babs finished her dessert, or if she caught the housekeeper making Babs a snack. She would pet Barbara’s hair and smile at her when she said it, but there was a glint in her eye that many children know perfectly well. 

“You messed up, but I’m going to be patient,” that glint said. “You made a mistake. You know what you did, don’t you? You know it was wrong.”

And sometimes, when Babs left a few bites of mashed potatoes or pasta, or another empty carb, she would catch her mother smiling at her in a different way. A way that she saw far less often, one that meant Elizabeth Kean was pleased with her. 

“Why don’t we go horseback riding tomorrow, Barbara?” Elizabeth would say then. Or shopping, or out for tea -- something that Babs would enjoy. On these outings, it was usually just Babs and Elizabeth, and her mother would hold her hand, and pay attention to her, and make her feel like she was, for once, a good girl.

But those afternoons never seemed to last very long. More often than not, by the time they got home, Babs had done something to make her mother angry: she had raised her voice in public, or cried when she tripped on the sidewalk in front of a store and scraped her knee, or spilled something on her dress. It was almost always down to Babs making a scene -- being an embarrassment, as Elizabeth would say, bent low so she could hiss the word in Barbara’s ear.

The punishment was severe and usually bizarre. Elizabeth would take away Babs’ posters, leaving her walls blank, a stark reminder that she didn’t deserve nice things, fun things that made her happy. She would discuss Babs with Everett as if Babs wasn’t even there, telling him what a disappointment she had been that day. After the nanny had tucked Babs in, Elizabeth would come in and kneel by the side of Barbara’s bed.

“You want us to love you, don’t you, darling?” she’d ask, and of course, Babs would nod. “We want to love you, too. But you make it very hard sometimes.” 

At this, Babs would nod again. She was sure, even at that age, that she was difficult to love. Why else would things be this way? Her parents were smart and elegant and it seemed like they always knew the right thing to do, the right thing to say. Clearly the fault lay with her.

She tried so very hard to please them. Even by the time she realized that her home was no home, her family no family, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all her fault. Her parents treated her that way because she didn’t deserve for things to be better. If she was the perfect daughter they wanted, they would love her -- but she wasn’t, so they didn’t.

Once, when she was twelve, her mother took her by the shoulders and set her back to get a better look at her. “We better put Barbara on a diet, don’t you think, Everett?” she said. “She’s getting a little hippy.”

Her father, who had been sitting in an armchair reading a newspaper at the time, merely hummed in agreement. “Whatever you think is best, dear.”

Whatever Elizabeth Kean thought was best, it certainly wasn’t her daughter. Babs attended Gotham Academy and was near the top of her class -- but she wasn’t at the top. She was on student council and the cheerleading squad -- but she wasn’t the president, or the captain. She was pretty and popular -- but there was always a girl who was prettier, who was more popular. No matter how hard Babs tried, no matter what she accomplished, it wasn’t the best, and so it didn’t matter.

Of course, in the public eye, the Keans couldn’t get enough of their daughter. The three of them attended God knows how many galas and charity events and parties together, and Elizabeth would smile with her arm around Barbara’s shoulders as one fellow socialite or another would talk about how beautiful Babs was, how accomplished. 

She was a prize then, a pet to be trotted out so everyone could see what a wonderful job Elizabeth and Everett Kean were doing raising their daughter. It wasn’t love, she knew that -- but it was the closest thing she had. And she lapped it up, even while she resented them for it.

And then when Barbara turned fifteen, she found someone who showed her what love actually was. 

(There is an irony, she supposes now, that she lost all of them within such a short space -- the people who were supposed to love her, and never did; and the first person to love her for exactly who she was.)

Finding Jim was like having a veil pulled away from her eyes. She had always been able to see, but now, her vision was so much clearer. It wasn’t as though he magically taught her to love herself, or that he erased all the self-doubt and self-loathing she had carried with her for so long; but for the first time, she realized life didn’t have to be that way. There was a different path she could take, one toward something better.

She didn’t expect Elizabeth to support her when she told her about the baby -- she wasn’t surprised that Elizabeth wanted her to end the pregnancy, or that she kicked her out when she refused to do so. And yet she still cried, as any heartbroken child would when a parent hurts them. As if Elizabeth had ever done anything but hurt her. 

Even when she left home, it was never really over. She and Jim would bring their daughter to see her grandparents sporadically -- Christmas of 1997, of 2003, of 2009, an erratic spattering of birthdays and other holidays. And every time Elizabeth saw Babs, she would smile, though it never reached her eyes, and she would clasp Barbara’s hands tightly in her own.

“What a beautiful dress that is, dear,” she said, on the last night Barbara ever saw her alive. “You almost look thin.”

She had left the gala because she had noticed her parents were gone, and she knew her daughter would want to know if they were okay. She told herself that any love she had once held for her parents was long gone, because it was easier that way; she didn’t do this out of any concern originating in her own heart. Or at least she insisted during the internal argument that took place as she drove to her old home.

The last thing she can clearly recall is letting herself in with the key that still lived on her keychain. She stepped into the foyer and closed the door behind her. After that, her recollection comes in bits and pieces, like autumn leaves caught in the eddying swirl of a river, flashing by too quickly for her to really get a good look.

The vast living room, empty but for the three of them, lit only by the moon. 

The curtains framing the French doors, billowing in the June breeze.

Barbara’s own hand, gripping the doorframe to hold herself upright. 

Her mother, slumped against her father.

Everett’s head bowed, as if he was asleep. Or praying.

Elizabeth had one hand turned up, like she was reaching out for Babs. 

They were dead. They had, in the interest of being specific, been murdered. 

She can’t remember precisely what happened next. Maybe Babs had started to scream at this point, or maybe she had rushed to them, as if a closer look would somehow help clarify or rectify the situation. Or maybe she just stood there, frozen, silent, waiting for the grief that never came. 

There was shock, yes. Horror, even, at the murder of two human beings -- but it was a distant sort of horror, the type you would feel if you heard about a particularly violent crime on the news. It was terrible, tragic, that anyone had lost their lives this way. But it didn’t feel connected to her at all. 

Her thoughts and feelings and memories come back to her at the police station, and now, she really wishes it hadn’t. It would have been better to remain numb. 

[korora12]

Tagged by @corisanna

1. What is your favorite relationship type to write/read? Romantic, platonic, familial, and any subtypes.

I like romantic relationships that don’t rely solely or primarily on physical attraction, but instead on a deep similarity between the two characters. I like when two people meet eyes and realize that “You understand me. You get me better than anyone else I’ve ever met, and I feel less lonely knowing that someone else sees the world the same way I do.”

2. How much or what kind of research do you do for your fiction? If you don’t write, has a fic ever made you curious enough to research something?

Only as much as is necessary. I usually use research as a springboard for inspiration when I hit a block, letting myself wander the fields of Wikipedia until I stumble upon something that knocks the block loose.

Of course, sometimes I research stuff just for fun, with no relation to my writing whatsoever, until some random point down the line where it suddenly does and I’m super happy I already know [Random Fact #237].

3. What was the first work of fiction you remember becoming completely engrossed in?

Hmm. Probably Animorphs. I remember doing everything I could to hunt down the numerous books in the series (back in the ancient, pre-Amazon Prime days). I’d prowl the various school and public libraries near me, ask for specific books in the series for Christmas and birthdays, and even buy the occasional book at the yearly Scholastic Book Fairs, using what little money I got for an allowance.

I made it most of the way through the series, but then there was one book, near the end, that I couldn’t find, no matter how hard I looked. And it was an important, plot-changing, book that I had to read before continuing. Which meant I never actually finished the series.

Of course, nowadays you can find them all online as pdfs. Maybe I should revisit the series sometime and finally finish it. I already know how it ends, but I still feel like those last few books deserve to be read.

4. What work(s) had a lasting influence on you or your writing style?

Going back to Animorphs again. There is a straight-line connection between me reading that series as a child, through my elementary school friends Brooke, who was obsessed with dogs, and Caitlin, who was even more obsessed with dolphins (I used to find pictures of dolphins in magazines and cut them out just to give to her), through my Grandma’s love of science, all the way to my decision to study Zoology in college. If I had never read those books, I wouldn’t have developed the passion for animals and animal behavior that has shaped my life for over two decades.

Also, stylistically speaking, I really respect that series for how it treated its readers. Its target audience was grade schoolers, and yet it never shied away from showing the realities of violence and war. I don’t know that I’ll ever write children’s literature, but I’ll always have this series to remind me of what kids are capable of understanding and handling.

5. What kind of sound environment do you prefer for writing/reading? Silent, white noise, music with/without words, sitting in a public place with the ambient noise of humanity, etc.

Depends on how well my brain is cooperating. Pure silence is ideal, but more often than not there’s some manner of song stuck on repeat in the background of my mind, and the only way to drown it out is with non-lyrical music of some sort. Usually I try to pick songs that match the mood of whatever scene I’m trying to write.

6. Are you or do you like authors who are teases, in story or out?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m a big fan of the Death of the Author trope, so I tend not to get too worked up by whatever the author may be saying and just let the story speak for itself.

My first instinct is to say that an author shouldn’t worry too much about what their fans think and should write the story they want to write, and it will find readers that appreciate it. However, I recognize that the nature of serial online writing, such as fanfiction, changes the game a bit. Such authors have a much more immediate, direct connection with their readers than authors who release one or two physical books every year or so. Some authors take that to an extreme, turning stories almost into a dialogue with their readers, each new chapter in some way defined by how people reacted to the previous one. And that doesn’t even touch on Quests, a type of story on forums sites such as Spacebattles and Sufficient Velocity that require player input on a regular basis to continue. In these types of situations, I can hardly blame an author for playing with their readers heads a bit. The reactions they have can be a form of entertainment all their own.

7. Have you ever experienced a “the characters write themselves” or “character rebellion” mental state?

Not yet. For the time being, I remain in complete control of my universes, but I recognize the hubris of assuming this to be a permanent state.

8. Do you have a favorite franchise crossover? Like Bleach/Harry Potter, Madoka Magica/Card Captor Sakura, etc.

I don’t know if I have a particular favorite. I was really fond of Secret Trio for a while, which is Danny Phantom, American Dragon Jake Long, and Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja. I’m still very fond of the Disney/Square Enix megacrossover that is Kingdom Hearts, despite being very disappointed in the most recent game in the series. Then there’s Kino’s Journey/Anything, mostly because I love Kino’s Journey, and I love seeing her response/reaction to various other worlds.

Also, Stargate/Anything. The only reason I ever started watching the show was because I’d read several different fics, all in different fandoms (Avatar, Yu-Gi-Oh, Star Wars, Naruto), and all of which crossed over with Stargate. Despite the similarities, both being sci-fi stories set around the turn of the millennium involving mind-controlling aliens, I’ve yet to see a good Stargate/Animorphs crossover. It’d be pretty easy to do, too. There’s a point in the Animorphs series where they decide to bring knowledge of their guerrilla war to the attention of the US government. If they’re already in the Stargate universe, I’m sure the president will quickly pass the problem along to the experts, and suddenly you’ve got the perfect setup of adults who think they know how to handle the problem, are mostly right, and don’t want kids fighting in a war, vs child soldiers who have no intention of giving up the fight so near its end, even if the adults are more competent than they expected.

I’m gonna have to write it myself, one of these days, if no one else gets around to doing it.

9. Do you remember anything about the first fanfic you ever read?

Two Halves by DameWren. My first fandom was Naruto, and my first fanfic was a NaruHina fic that both introduced me to the concept of fandom, and also sold the ship for me in a way that I’ve never shaken. I remember very little beyond that, except that it managed to correctly predict that Naruto would go on a training trip, despite being written before such an event happened in canon.

10. Is there a work of fiction that you are annoyed doesn’t have much if any fic? Like Bizenghast.

Kino’s Journey, Cowboy Bebop, Double Arts (just never got enough attention in general)

11. What fictional character do you strongly identify with?

Weiss Schnee, from RWBY. While I’ve never been accused of being rich, I am a middle child with a much older sister that cut ties with the family when I was young and a younger brother that I never got along with while growing up. My parents were also abusive, my father physically and both of them emotionally, and they taught me a number of unhealthy ideas about race, amongst other things, that I’ve had to put serious effort into unlearning. And I have, since becoming an adult, traveled long distances across the world, partially for my own benefit, and partially to distance myself physically from a family I’ve never felt particularly close to, resulting in a drastic personality shift that took a couple years to complete, but ultimately left me a very different, and much better, person.

So, yeah, Weiss is basically my favorite RWBY character, and one I really need to write more often, all things considered.

That was fun! I’ve never been tagged in anything like this before. My turn for questions!

1. What is your the most recent fandom you’ve gotten involved in? Have you made any content for it?

2. Do you have a favorite AU/plotline that you love regardless of fandom (ie. Peggy Sue, Coffee Shop AU, Space AU, Self-Insert)? What about it do you like?

3. If you write, how do you go about deciding a character’s sexuality? If not, do you ever have any sexuality headcanons for characters?

4. What’s the longest fanfic that you’ve ever read, beginning to end?

5. How often do you make something you’re proud of? Doesn’t have to be writing, just has to be something that wouldn’t exist if you hadn’t made it yourself.

6. What are your opinions on OCs in fanfiction?

7. What is your favorite storytelling medium (ie. television, written word, spoken word, video games, song, etc.)?

8. What was the last song you had stuck in your head, and what was it about?

9. Do you prefer reading/writing stories set in fictional worlds, or stories set in the real world/real world analogous (ie. Supernatural or Marvel Comics)?

10. If you could bring one fictional character into the real world, who would it be and why?

11. Pick your favorite of the questions I was asked to answer for yourself.

I just realized that I don’t know how many of my followers are writers. I guess @hunkygoddess @tmifangirl21 @queendarktigress @ladyvallhalla @i-mushi @xekstrin @shinobicyrus and anyone else who sees this and might be interested. No pressure, it’s just for fun!

[firefly124-writing]

Something Bright to Dispel the Gloom

Title: Something Bright to Dispel the Gloom Fandom: Supernatural Pairing/Characters: Dean/Cas Rating/Warnings: T, spoilers through SPN 15x07 Prompt: <a href=https://imgur.com/OWsPHZj>poinsettia</a> Summary: A road trip to Salina had sounded like a good idea when Dean had suggested it.  Cas hadn’t been back for long, though, and this was shaping up to be the world’s most awkward road trip ever. A/N: Written for the AdventDrabbles community on Dreamwidth to the prompt poinsettia.

AO3 Link or

The drive to Salina had been mostly just Zeppelin at full volume.  A road trip to Salina had sounded like a good idea when Dean had suggested it.  Cas hadn’t been back for long, though, and this was shaping up to be the world’s most awkward road trip ever.  Dean wasn’t sure what he’d say if he and Cas tried to have a conversation now.  The list was just too long and too impossible.

“Dean,” Cas cut into his thoughts, “can we stop here.”

Dean slowed and pulled into the thrift store parking lot.  When he cut the engine, he almost turned the key back to be able to keep the music going, but then decided maybe he should go in.  Christmas was coming, after all, so maybe he should be thinking about gifts sometime before Christmas Eve.  So instead, he locked up the Impala and followed Cas inside.

To his surprise, Cas grabbed a shopping cart and simply began piling coats and sweaters into it.

“Cas?” Dean asked.

“It occurred to me that it would be potentially divisive to bring one sweater to a group of homeless men,” Cas said.  “I do not think there will be enough for all, but perhaps at least for all who do not have sufficiently warm clothing.”

“Dude, how are you gonna pay…?”

Cas held up a credit card Dean had never seen before.  Had he picked up the skill to create his own now?

“Charlie,” Cas said.  “Apocalypse-world Charlie helped me with this.  I believe this purchase will remain within the parameters she cautioned me to observe.”

Dean wondered about that, but he knew better than to pit his own computer against any version of Charlie. 

All thoughts of Christmas shopping long gone, Dean followed Cas to the cash register.  The clerk dutifully rang everything up and was telling Cas to swipe his card, when Cas reached to the side and grabbed a plant.  A poinsettia.  Dean wasn’t entirely sure it was real.

As they loaded up the car, Dean questioned the add-on.

“The shelter is very drab inside,” Cas said.  “At least, I presume it still is.  A bit of seasonal color may help those who are suffering from depression. Something bright to dispel the gloom.”

Dean winced.  He should’ve known when Cas had a particular shelter in mind that it was one he’d personally been to.  Stayed at.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered as Cas slid into the passenger seat next to him.

“Sorry for what, Dean?” Cas asked.  “Throwing me out of the bunker to protect Sam?  We’ve been over that.  Or is there something more recent you’d like to discuss?”

Dean pressed his lips together and turned on the engine.

Once they’d dropped off the donations and said goodbye to the cheerful fellow who ran the place (and apparently knew Cas and had way too much to say to him out of Dean’s earshot), it was time to head back.  Dean was getting hungry, but that was the last thing he was going to bring up right now.  He could last till they got back, or maybe he could grab something when they stopped for gas.  Again.

About a mile out of town, he finally cracked.

“All of it,” he said.  “I’m sorry for all of it.  For blaming you for Mom.  For Rowena.  I was pissed at the world, but none of that was on you.  I had doubts about Jack too.  And I should never have trusted Belphagor.”

“I still do not understand how the fact he wore Jack’s face inspired trust in you,” Cas said.  “I realize you could not see his demonic visage as I could, but you did not trust Jack. Why in the world would you trust a demon wearing his corpse?”

“I didn’t.”  Dean shrugged.  “Just… it’s all too big.  Too much. So tackling one problem at a time, first the ghosts and then the demon, that was the only way I could think to do it.”

Silence fell for the next couple of miles.

“I forgive you, Dean,” Cas said.  “I have and will always forgive you.”

“Thanks, man.”  Dean ran his fingers through his hair, not taking his eyes off the road.  “Are we good?”

“I don’t know.”  Cas sighed. Dean wondered about that sometimes. Was that just a habit of his vessel left over from Jimmy?  Cas didn’t need to breathe, much less sigh, and yet he did.  “I would like for us to be ‘good,’ and yet it seems every time we begin to work well together, something goes wrong, and you hold me responsible.”

Yeah, Dean could see that.

“Mary told me, once, that she was glad I had come into your and Sam’s lives. That she had always told you when she put you to bed that angels were watching over you, and now she knew it was true, even if she didn’t trust most of them anymore.”

Dean felt like he’d been poked in the gut with a salted knife.

“I didn’t tell her this.  Perhaps I should have.  But now I need to tell you, Dean.  You know full well that I am not perfect.  I am at least as fallible as you are.”  Cas paused as if considering his words carefully.  “Just because you were told as a child that angels would protect you, something we have all failed repeatedly to do, that does not mean I deserve to be treated as though everything wrong in the world, everything that goes wrong in your life, is my fault.”

Dean swallowed a couple of times before he could speak.  “Is that what I do?”

“Your mother gave me great insight into your early life, which I think has shaped you in ways you do not recall or realize.  Yes, I believe that is exactly what you do.”

Dean chewed that over for the next dozen miles or so.

“I know I can be a dick to you,” he said finally.  “I’m not sure if that’s why, but it kind of makes sense.”

Cas didn’t say anything.  When Dean stole a glance at him, the angel was looking straight ahead.

“I can’t promise I’ll never fuck up again.  But I can promise to try not to take shit out on you.”

“Then I think,” Cas said, “we can, perhaps, be ‘good.’”

It was less than Dean had hoped for, but more than he probably deserved.

When they had to stop for gas, Cas volunteered to man the pump so Dean could take a leak and pick up something to eat.  When he went to check out, Dean saw a display by the register that had little poinsettias like the one Cas had bought earlier.  By the time he got outside, Cas had finished filling Baby’s tank and was back in the car.  When Dean handed him the fake flower, he looked surprised.

“What is this for?”

“I know Sam and Eileen kind of did up the library,” Dean said, “but last time I checked, your room is still kind of ‘drab.’  Thought you might like some seasonal color to brighten it up.”

The smile Cas gave him in reply was all the brightness Dean could ask for.

[shadowthorne]

“i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

Christmas AUs

I wasn’t expecting this to get so long. Under the cut. 

Enjoy! 

It was the day before Christmas, early enough that the sun still sat low along the horizon and lit the chill air fitfully. Frost clung to the windows and the furnace hadn’t stopped running nearly all night. Ichigo shuffled back into the bedroom with a steaming cup of coffee to hand over, seating himself on the edge of the bed.

Grimmjow accepted the cup with a grateful grunt, still shaking off sleep as he wrapped cold hands around the hot porcelain. The room was a mess. A few duffle bags sat open nearby, half packed. Clothes scattered about the floor around the bags, as well as basic necessities; toiletries, phone chargers, that sort of thing. It wasn’t going to be a long trip, but it would be his first time meeting Ichigo’s family and the train ride would be a long one, through the night to get them there early Christmas morning. 

“It’s almost noon.” He groused after taking a sip of his coffee. They’d slept in, which was nice, and it was Christmas Eve, they deserved some down time, but now there was less time to finish what needed done. “We need to finish packing, train leaves in a few hours.”

“We have time.” Ichigo smiled, leaning his shoulder against Grimmjow’s where they sat side by side. “You wanna do our gifts first? I’d rather do it now and not when we get there.” He could feel the cool blue eyes that slid towards him, feeling the slight shrug against his shoulder. 

Grimmjow stood, raising to his toes in the best stretch he could manage without putting his coffee down. He sighed as he dropped back down, then padded across the room to the open closet door. The room was colder than he would have liked, especially against his sleep warmed skin and bare feet. Digging around one handed for a moment, he pulled out a small, colorful box. Ichigo swore he wouldn’t go looking for it, but just in case, he’d wrapped it the same day he’d bought it and brought it into the house. A bow decorated the top. It was perhaps the best wrapping job he’d ever managed, he was actually kind of proud, so when he turned back to Ichigo, there was a smirk creasing his lips. A smirk that edged downward as severe brows furrowed at the sight that met him. Slowly, one brow rose in a somewhat rye, questioning expression. “I thought we agreed to do something small this year?”

They’d bought a new television and surround sound a few weeks back. Coupled with bills and Christmas shopping for family, they were stretched a little thin. Nothing too concerning, but they’d decided to keep their Christmas small just the same, counting the splurge of entertainment tech as part of their holiday cheer.

“I know,” Ichigo hastened. While his boyfriend had been turned away, he’d quickly dropped flat to drag a huge, flat-ish package from under the bed. Brightly colored, patterned paper adorned it. Being nearly four feet long and almost as tall, it was almost obnoxious to look at and he couldn’t help the giddy amusement he felt at the look on Grimmjow’s features as he gave the present a look. “I know, it’s not as big as it looks.” He propped the box up against the foot of the bed and sat back down, patting the space next to him in invitation. “You want to go first?”

“No,” Grimmjow grunted, recrossing the room. He plopped his weight down beside the man he’d shared a bed with for the past year. This was their third Christmas, but the first they’d actually shared in a single home. “I have a feeling I’m about to be shown up this year, so you go first.” 

Ichigo laughed, “Wanting to put off the hurt pride?” He accepted the gift being handed to him, scooting further onto the bed to cross his legs and settle it in his lap. His smile was genuine and happy as he studied the box, feeling the weight of it.

“Something like that. Stop staring at it and open it.”

“But you actually wrapped it this year, I’m just savoring your efforts.” The comment earned a scoffed huff of laughter. When a hand reached for the pretty wrapping paper, he tugged it back and out of reach, shooting Grimmjow a mock scowl. “Hey, I’m getting there.” In truth, he was a little nervous now that what was going to be a big moment was so close. He was stalling and Grimmjow didn’t even realize it. 

Well. It’s not like he’d given much away. 

He rotated the package, then finally began peeling up one taped down corner of paper. 

At his side, Grimmjow sipped his coffee, hands wrapped around the warmth of it as he watched. Christmas was really more Ichigo’s thing than his. He didn’t particularly like decorating, and he especially didn’t like dealing with the hassle of putting lights and ornaments away after the holidays were over. And shopping for gifts was so much more trouble when there was a time limit and pressure to impress in the form of a holiday. If he wanted to get something for someone, he would, and he didn’t need an excuse to treat someone he cared about well. And wrapping paper? It just got torn up and thrown away. There was no point. 

But Ichigo liked it all, so he made an effort to at least make it enjoyable for him. 

Paper finally torn away, crumpled up and tossed aside, Ichigo turned the box around to see the front of it. A wide, happy smile lit his features, showing that boyish excitement that still made Grimmjow’s heart stutter, even after years. “The new camera I wanted.” He looked up at Grimmjow with that same smile and the bigger man practically melted inside.

“Just in time to try it out on your family.” He said, holding his coffee out of the way when Ichigo leaned in. The kiss was small, chaste, but sweet and genuine. 

“It’s perfect, thank you.” He wasn’t surprised when Grimmjow brushed the gratitude off, but he knew better than to think it went unheard. Immediately, he began opening the box to pull the camera out, checking the battery before switching it on to begin tinkering. “Open yours, I’ve been waiting on this for a lot longer than you know.”

Grimmjow gave him a look, but set his coffee down on the nightstand and dragged the box closer. To his surprise, it was a lot lighter than he was expecting. Maybe even lighter than the camera he’d got for Ichigo. He frowned some, trying to ponder what it could be as he began tearing away the hideous wrapping paper. Peeling enough back to see the image on the oversized box, he paused, arched a brow, and looked over at Ichigo. 

The smaller man shrugged, “It’s not a TV.” 

“Obviously.” Grimmjow grunted. But if anything, he was stumped harder, so he turned the box so he could get at the end they’d opened when pulling the television out a few weeks ago. Ichigo had stopped fidgeting with his new camera and was watching him, he could feel it. His gaze edged upward to confirm, taking in the avid attention being directed at him and the camera nestled in Ichigo’s lap, aimed in his direction, before he tugged the packing foam, meant to keep the electronics that had originally been stored there safe, from the box. “What the hell.” He muttered half to himself when, amidst the styrofoam, he found yet another colorfully wrapped box. “Haha. Very funny.” He dropped the bigger box and its packing over the side of the bed.

“I told you it wasn’t as big as it looked.” Ichigo said with a slightly nervous laugh. His finger was on the button of the new camera. The battery wasn’t super well charged, showing about half power on the display, but it would be enough for what he wanted and the camera was far nicer than the video his phone would manage. “Keep going.”

“Don’t rush me.” Grimmjow told him absently, well aware he was being filmed. He assumed Ichigo was just playing around, getting used to the new camera, and he wasn’t shy anyway. 

The paper used on the smaller box was less obnoxious and a little nicer. It was about hardback book sized, but much lighter and for the life of him, he couldn’t come up with anything that it might be even now that he was getting a more realistic look at its size. He shook it a little, looking up to see Ichigo’s reaction. There wasn’t much of one, leading him to assume it wasn’t breakable, but the contents inside shifted a bit. That didn’t narrow things down much. 

Without a guess, he dug into the paper and began peeling it out of his way. The box under it was a plain, brown shipping box. It too was taped shut and he arched a mildly annoyed brow, digging fingernails under it to rip the tape out of his way. 

Once he’d managed to get that box open, he peered inside with a critical expression that quickly flattened out, then upended it. A yellow, bubble-wrapped shipping envelope slid out to land in his lap. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah. My guess is; the time we spent sitting here this morning.”

Ichigo choked a laugh, the camera in his hands jumping a little, but he shook his head. “No, there’s an actual gift in it, I promise.”

The camera captured Grimmjow’s semi-skeptical look well, handsome features pulled into not quite unamused angles.

He went back to work, struggling with the glue and plastic. The envelope was meant for the mail and less than careful handling, after all. When he gave up and started to stand, Ichigo magically produced a pair of scissors he’d had ready exactly for this.

Grimmjow accepted them with a grunt, but he supposed that, since Ichigo clearly knew this was coming, it wasn’t all that surprising that he’d grabbed a pair to keep handy. He cut the top off and again peered down into the packaging, only to growl a short sound. “Ichigo, I swear- What the hell is all this?” Reaching in, he pulled out yet another smaller box, this one wrapped unceremoniously in duct tape, little bits of plastic wrap sticking out here and there.

“I know how much you hate wrapping paper.” Ichigo said, his tone holding an almost forced amusement, maybe wavering every so slightly.

“Fuckin’ hilarious.” Grimmjow deadpanned, glaring at the layers of duct tape keeping him out of the box sitting in his palm. He found an edge and started to peel it back, but growled an utterly unamused sound and grabbed the scissors again, wedging one tip under as many layers as he could to begin snipping and cutting his way through. Twenty incredibly frustrating minutes and a dozen explicit curses later, he finally had the small box under the tape. 

The anger died down, though, and the cursing fell silent, as he stared at it. The box was plain white, but instead of cardboard, it was fancy and padded. “Ichigo…?” He drawled, knowing he was looking at a jewelry box. His second hand came up to settle on the top portion, wrapping fingers around the lid, but he hesitated, eyes lifting to search boyishly handsome features. He swallowed, having to force himself to take a deeper breath. 

“If you–” Ichigo started, but his voice trembled more obviously now, “We can take it back if-”

“Shut up, I haven’t even looked at it yet.” Grimmjow’s own voice came out in a rough whisper as he finally opened the box. His jaw clenched. Inside, nestled carefully in the box, a simple, silver ring glinted. He licked suddenly dry lips and tried desperately to hide the minute shake to his hands as he pulled the ring free, very carefully setting the box aside to forget about it. The ring looked so small where it laid in his palm and it was a long moment before he could look up again. 

Ichigo had set the camera aside, still aimed at Grimmjow, of course. His teeth worried at his lip and he half shrugged, trying for an easy smile that resulted in a nervous bubble of laugher. His stomach was doing flips and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking and, god, what if he said no? 

He tried again, taking another breath, and then another, and squaring his shoulders. “Grimmjow, will you–?”

He barely got the trembling words out before a big hand was closed in the front of his shirt and he was being dragged forward. He practically toppled into Grimmjow’s lap with all the grace of a flailing fool, but the kiss was all the answer he needed. It was deep, fiery, and filled with everything neither of them knew how to put into words. 

It was cut short only when Ichigo choked a delighted laugh, eyes watering. When he spoke against Grimmjow’s lips, it was whispered, because he couldn’t seem to make his voice any louder or steadier. “Th-the camera’s still recording.”