#AND THEN MY CONTROLLER STOPPED WORKING FOR NO REASON SO I'M STUCK ON THE FUCKING SCARY STAIRS AND NIGHT IS FALLING FAST

[abyssalmermaiden]

decides to do a random stb sidequest. Topher asks me to check on some resistance fighters at a watchtower that have been ambushed by a superior force. I get there and they're alive but hurt, saying Something at the top of the stairs. So I head inside, only realizing when I'm midway up the stairs that this is a terrifying scenario

[batboyblog]

The recent Chappell Roan thing is why I absolutely hate the lack of political literacy in this country. Big-name celebrities think they're really cooking when they say "well Kamala still supports blowing up Palestinian babies because she won't cut ties with Israel, so therefore I'm not voting for her and you shouldn't either! Both her and Trump suck so I'm not voting/voting third party!"

Like it or not, Israel is an ALLY of the United States. We CAN'T just cut ties with them unless it's a long drawn-out process, and even then it's probably NEVER going to happen. This is basic shit we learned in social studies, holy shit!

Trump would be so much fucking worse for everyone involved, including Palestine, and not voting or voting third party is pretty much just handing your vote over to Trump due to how voting WORKS in a two-party system dictated by the fucked up electoral college.

This was a long ramble and you've probably gotten similar asks the last few months like this, but fuck, I just have to get this off my chest, and the most recent event with her was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Celebs in general need to shut the fuck up about politics unless they are actually partaking in activism instead of this virtue-signaling bullshit.

Taking things one thing at a time.

I'll admit to having only seen Chappell Roan's final video on the subject, so idk what she said before that (outside of generally)

The two things that really stuck out to me and pissed me off about that live/video was she 1. accused Democrats (she said "the left" but was clearly in context talking about the Democrats) for "transphobic policy" (also genocidal, equally silly) and it was SUCH a groundless lie, such a baseless, stupid, uninformed, silly lie. It'd be like saying "yes the right is bad! but Kamala Harris says she wants to shoot a pony every day of her Presidency and I can't support that!" And to be a Queer artist who's whole thing is centering Queer art, particularly drag who's got a young maybe not very informed queer fan base who's made talking about trans rights your main political thing to just lie about the nature of the threat to trans rights and trans lives at this moment is fucking awful and downright criminal.

Listen right now Republicans are aggressively attacking Democrats on trans rights. Trump went after Harris at their debate for "trans surgeries for illegal aliens in prison!" Republicans are attacking Tim Walz as "tampon Tim" for the idea that he supports trans male students having access to tampons (and other crazy transphobic attacks on him) Republicans are centering transphobia as a main campaign issue, anyone who gives a fuck about trans people in this nation should know Trump and Creepy Vance in charge of the federal government? is the nightmare. You can't claim to care about trans people or be "centering" them and not be doing all you can to stop Republicans at the ballot box this November. And both siding it and saying bullshit that somehow it will be just as bad if Democrats win is not stopping Republicans no matter how you personally vote.

The Second thing in her video that really annoyed me was she said she was voting for Harris but then had a whole word salad about how everyone needed to make up their own minds about who would be best. Basically saying that while she was voting for Harris, a vote for Trump was a reasonable conclusion people could reach. Again if you truly care about the issues she says she cares about, no, you can't vote for Trump. And again to use your platform to push "both sides" is to throw the very people you claim are your brand under the bus in the worst way.

I don't like to throw people under the bus for their family, Tim Walz' brother is a MAGA lunatic for example, but Chappell Roan talked about Republican family that "loved her" and I can't help but wonder if she was thinking of her Republican State Rep uncle, Darin Chappell. Again people can't control family members and I'm not asking anyone to come out and attack their family in public. I'm just wondering if her views on Republicans and finding a middle ground and "they still love me" is colored by Uncle Darin and not understanding he might love her and be proud of her but he still walks into the Missouri state capital and votes for abortion bans and transphobia.

to move onto the meat of your ask which I think is less about Roan in particular and more generalized about a certain type of celebrity and GenZ very on-line types. On the whole Israel-Palestine thing, I think most of the people posting about it know very little or know a lot of misinformation, you every see people boldly posting "I don't need to know everything to know right from wrong!" you run into that a lot. And I'd say yes, you do need to know a lot to comment on a complex multi generational ethnic-political conflict with many state and non-state actors.

Last night JD Vance and Tim Walz had their debate and every time there was an issue, housing costs, medical costs, gun violence, inflation, Vance would move it around to how if we just deported all the immigrants the issue would be fixed, no more drugs no more gun violence, housing would be cheap, just get rid of the people I don't like.

And I see a lot of that with Israel, "Palestine is a climate issue!" "Queer as in Free Palestine!" etc where if we just get rid of Israel it'll all be fixed. Which of course connects to long standing antisemitic ideas about Jews running the world, people happily sub in the word "Israel" or "Zionist" and then repeat the same old racism thats followed the Jews around for 1,000 years.

So long and short I think most people talking about Palestine don't know enough to talk about it, but what's worse don't really care about Palestine at all

I'm reminded here of Trump's "Deal of the Century". Oh? you don't remember it? shocker, in January 2020 Trump released a "peace plan" drawn up with no Palestinians involved, where Israel would be allowed to annex everything in the West Bank it would want, the Jordan Vally cutting Palestine off from Jordan and totally encircling it with Israel. The West Bank would be Swiss cheesed up into little pockets connected by tunnels or overpasses but with Israeli territory running through it everywhere. The Palestinians said "no!" and then Netanyahu claimed that Trump had green lit Israel to annex the land it wanted even without Palestinian agreement to the plan and without giving the Palestinians anything. There was some confusion and thankfully that didn't happen. We may never know the fully story of what stopped it, but I do think Trump agreed to annexing much of the West Bank, but pulled back under pressure from Gulf Arab Oil states who later in 2020 made peace with Israel in the Abraham Accords in an effort to stop Netanyahu's annexation plans.

any ways to point out, 1. Palestine was on the edge of annexation the end of the dream of Palestinian statehood in any meaningful sense, and where were the protests? the encampments? etc? it never comes up, 4 years ago, and all the people who live and breath this stuff never mention it? 2. We have reason to believe Trump signed off on a far-right government of Israel annexing much of the West Bank, his "peace plan" abandoned the outlines that American Presidents since Bill Clinton set forward for getting a Palestinian state on 95+% of the West Bank in favor of "what does the Israeli right want?" and again no one is talking about it in the context of this election, we know what he'll do, because he's done it before.

but again its not really about the Palestinians, its not about building a Palestinian state, its "get rid of Israel" and then what? what happens to the 9 million people who live in Israel? and people don't have a realistic answer, because its a political fantasy that if they just do X everything will magically get better, even on totally unrelated issues.

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness (7)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

It seems you'll have to restock some food soon... But is that really your biggest concern?

Reader is Gender Neutral!

You couldn't get the words you wanted to say out of your mouth. How could you be so blind? So naive? It should have been obvious, the way their voices sounded the exact same, the way their characters acted a little too accurate for a fan...

What the fuck could they possibly want with you? You're not the leader of the country, or a famous figure, or.. or...!

"Stop squirming." Capitano ordered you, letting a brief and satisfying hum leave his lips when feeling you move less.

This is really happening. You thought it couldn't possibly get worse after seeing your family massacred in the restaurant. The clear pain and agony on the corpses faces, their screams being silenced by sharp weapons out of this world.

Perhaps if you never felt the need to play that stupid game you'd have been killed along with them, maybe that would have prevented your now never-ending grief.

Let's calm down, rethink things and gather what I already know. There's no use wishing for a different outcome when I can't change what's already been done. You thought to yourself, taking a deep breath.

These... Fatui Harbingers are after someone called The Decider. They used that... compass thing Dottore supposedly made to locate them, and as it pointed to me, they think I'm the person they're looking for. They killed everyone in the restaurant for some unknown reason and now they're trying to take me back to their world...

Arlecchino said 'The Tsaritsa has been searching for someone who can control what can't be seen for awhile now'... What could that possibly mean? As far as I'm aware, I have no special abilities or anything like that.

"You know, this is the quietest I've seen you since first finding you hiding in the toilets. It was very amusing..." Scaramouche taunted you, knocking your head.

You pretended to continue being stuck in your thoughts, and ignored him.

"Well, apart from when I beat you senseless." He corrected himself with a laugh. "How are those mortal bones you have? I should have hit you harder, that way you wouldn't be able to move..."

What a monster. I can't believe the harbingers were my favourite characters.

"Your taunting will break them if you continue." Signora rolled her eyes.

"Rosalyne is correct. Heartless puppet..." Arlecchino cursed under her breath.

"And your arrogance will lead to your demise, witch." Scaramouche snarled at Signora, turning his head to give a warning glare to both women.

"Enough." Pierro warned the two, seperating them with a push. He looked at you staring at the drama for a moment, then continued walking next to Dottore.

Capitano then placed you gently on the ground, keeping a firm grip on your shoulders to stop you from moving.

"Do not think this is a regular occurence," He sighed to himself, grumbling like an old man. "We're all a little unsettled in this world, we're usually more calm and collected in the presencse of prisoners."

Oh, no, I know very well from the game that this is a regular occurence.

"Stupid gadget..." Dottore cursed to himself, taking a screwdriver and tinkering with it.

"Dottore, you've been tinkering with that compass like a mad man since we first arrived in this world." Sandrone eyed the doctor suspiciously.

"Assuring it'll function correctly is all I'm doing."

"Deary me doctor, I'm beginning to doubt your intentions." Columbina smiled at him whilst using her body to block his path.

"You're mistaken in your intrusive comment."

"Miss Columbina is correct," Pulcinella frowned at his coworker. "It's becoming suspicious how you're delaying our departure of this world.

"Do you really think I want to stay here without my lab? Without my clones? Without my life's work?"

You could feel the tension rising as each harbinger began to question the doctor. You knew they didn't really get along in game... but it was frightening to actually view it in real life.

I'm starting to feel sorry for the fatui underlings who have to pretend they don't hear anything...

As they continued to argue, you began to notice where exactly they had taken you.

The park? It's practically deserted, nothing like how you saw it earlier in your aunt's car. The bird's which once flew for their children hid in their nests, the squirrels hiding in their little burrows for comfort.... It truly was something new.

"Hey comrade! We're talking to you." Childe tapped your forehead.

"You definitely weren't talking to me. You were talking to him." You pointed at Dottore, who's arms were crossed.

Although, now that you're paying attention, somethings noticeably wrong. The Harbingers all don't look as confident as they once did, they were all looking at you, some had hopeful expressions whilst some glared at you.

"We definitely were." Sandrone scoffed.

Next to Dottore's feet was a crushed compass... wait, did he destroy his gadget?? How the hell were they going to leave Teyvat without it?

Hold on, isn't that a good thing? That means they can't take me to Teyvat... but it also doesn't change me being held hostage...

Also what happened to the police? They left as fast as they came!

"Stop leaving us." A harbinger clicked their fingers in front of your face. "The Director asked you a question."

"..." You stared at him in confusion, due to you not hearing the question and being too scared to ask him to repeat.

He simply sighed, and realised the context of your conflicted response. "Do you happen to have a house near this area?"

what.

"Of course..." You replied quietly. You had a feeling you knew where this was going, and it wasn't going somewhere you found favourable.

"Guide us to your home, any tricks will not be tolerated."

Are you kidding me? I'm not taking them to my house!

"Do I have the right to refuse due to privacy?" You asked after pretending to think about it.

"No." All the harbingers replied at the same time.

Great.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

You unlocked the front door of your parent's house with frantic thoughts. Good thing you were gifted an extra set of keys for your 16th birthday a couple years ago...

Fortunately, you hadn't encountered anyone who recognised the harbingers. Unfortunately, however, the police still hadn't found your new location. You thought they would have thought to track your phone by now, but it seems they haven't...

Is there something stopping them? Or maybe, they're trying to think of a plan to save you?

Let's not think about that right now, right now you have unwanted guests in your house.

"I'm setting some rules." You spoke loudly, causing the whispering schoolgirls to hush.

"Who said you could set rules? Have you forgotten you're not in control once more of your situation?"

"That's where your wrong!" You smiled. "This is my house. Which means I am in control here. That's just how it works, sorry!"

"What sort of bullshi--"

"We understand." Pierro nodded. "What rules do you plan to set? As long as they are equal I will not stop you."

"First of all, my bedroom is off limits." You glared. "This is because it's a special place for me, and I don't want it to be ruined by Fatui Harbingers whose manners are that of a barbarian."

Of course, you weren't going to tell them the real reason was because of the embarrassing merchandise and a certain Childe pillow and whale plush on your bed.

"Understandable." Dottore glared at Pantalone, who simply shrugged with a playful smile.

"What? I routinely check your lab for good reasons you know."

"Secondly," You shushed the millionare. "Don't fucking break anything or take apart a piece of technology in this house. Any questions must go to me."

"Who do you take me for?" Sandrone crossed her arms.

"Weren't you the one talking about taking apart the giant machinery in the restaurant earlier?"

She stayed quiet.

"Where's the fun in that Decider? How do you suppose I understand this world if you won't let me investigate?" Dottore whined, picking up the TV remote he found next to him.

"You ask, like a normal person."

"How normal do you think I am?" He argued back pressing buttons on the remote with confusion.

"This can't possibly control a weapon, there's too many buttons..." He muttered to himself.

"That's a remote control for the TV. Well, since you'll probably want the full name: the television." You said, snatching the remote out of Dottore's hands and pressing the power button.

The TV lit up, and showed a woman introducing the news of the previous day.

"Woah! That's so cool!" Childe swooned, walking directly in front of it.

"Don't stand so close!... Oh my god, I sound like my mother." You shuddered at the end.

"What exactly does it do?" Pantalone questioned, slightly smiling whilst taking a seat on the sofa.

"One, I didn't say you could make yourself at home. Two, it displays what you want it to display. It's a type of monitor, meaning it's programmed to be connected to whatever you want it to connect it to."

"I don't follow..."

"Alright," You sighed. "This Television screen displays the programming in this little box." You guided the harbingers.

"This remote control guides the programming to show what you want to see at a point in time. For example, if I didn't want to see this woman talking, I go to the menu where I can see all the channels and choose what I want to see! Or, if you know the specific number for that channel you want to watch, you input it using these buttons."

"Like a performance on a stage!" Columbina giggled, her hands clapping with glee.

"Not exactly, but if that helps you understand I suppose the idea works."

"This is genius." Dottore hummed in delight. "But you're absolutely terrible at explaining. Let me try."

Dottore then scrolled down the list you demonstrated, he squinted his eyes at the words... almost as if he couldn't understand them. He then pressed on a random channel which almost seemed coincidental.

"Oh please don't click on that one, I'm squeamish." You sighed, covering your eyes when watching him click on it anyway.

"Dottore get that disgusting surgery off of the... the... thing!"

"The screen." You reminded Sandrone.

"That's right! The screen!"

Finally done! Updates will begin to slow down once again as school holiday's are almost over and stress begins... No need to fear, I won't stop working on this.

Little unrelated note: I HATE THE DESERT. I wanted to finish it before I move to Fontaine but it's taking me forever 😭😭

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

@valeriele3 @pale-value @pix-stuff @yumi-genshin-writer @yuii-v @itz-luna @annoying-mary @etherisy @khalhaimdad @haikyuusboringassmanager @magica-ren @sweatyexpertdeputyduck @booksandteaplusart @9140 @whatamidoing89 @raesleepyhead @nasidibakar @shikanosn @purpleamethystsblog @chihawari @esthelily @stuffyfrenchflowers @conspicuous-mayonnaise @sielt @katsumikumo @greyhoundwires707 @carminerin @raidendeeznuts123 @angelofdarkness2 @conspicuous-mayonnaise @ginnxy-galaxy @clara-maddenlin

Quick Reminder Here! If you no longer want to be on the taglist that's completely fine; I take no offence whatsoever so please don't hesitate to tell me. ^^

[actual-changeling]

I think in like. 90% of "they're handcuffed to each other" scenarios, they would not care. It would barely affect their work at all. They'd keep them on even once they have the key because this is the perfect 'for the love of God, do NOT get kidnapped again' insurance.

However.

There are those delicious 10% right in the middle of the Diana mess that would make for the most painful, angsty, hurt/comfort fic you can imagine. Arcadia, but turned up to 11.

This was not supposed to be anything resembling said fic and instead stay a shitpost—but here we are.

———

They're fighting over who gets to be in charge of movement immediately, and they do not stop . They keep tripping because they decide to suddenly walk in two different directions, and their wrists are chafed and bloody.

They keep going like that for a while until their lack of coordination and teamwork almost gets them killed, and then they're stuck hiding in a small, dark space, forced to TALK.

Imagine a janitor's closet or a small, windowless bathroom.

First, there's silence.

Then, one of them dares to say a word, and suddenly they're at each other's throats, going straight for the jugular.

Petty fighting turns into insults, which turn into months of pent-up emotions spilling out without any control over how, and they both say things they'll definitely regret later on.

Until it finally reaches a breaking point when Mulder—annoyed, frustrated, confused—cuts her off and says, "You're making it personal again, Scully."

Her mouth closes with an audible click, and she freezes before shuffling as far away from him as she possibly can. He realises he has fucked up. A lot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Oh, you meant it, Mulder; don't backpedal. You meant it now, and you meant it back then too."

"Scully—"

"Shut up."

She's exhausted. So fucking tired. You made me a whole person to get her to stay, and she'd believed him. Damn it all, she had believed him. Just for him to turn it into a lie and destroy her trust within seconds.

"What does it take? For this thing to come up and bite you on the ass? I saw these creatures. I saw them burst to life. You would've seen them, too, but you were infected with that virus. You were passed out over my shoulder."   "Mulder, I know what you did. I know what happened to me, but without ignoring the science, I can't… Listen, Mulder. You told me that my science kept you honest. That it made you question your assumptions. That by it, I'd made you a whole person. If I change now… it wouldn't be right or honest."   "I'm talking about extraterrestrial life alive on this planet in our lifetime. Forces that dwarf and precede all human history. I'm sorry, Scully, but this time your science is wrong."

He had walked away from her without a second of hesitation, and she wishes she could walk away from him now.

Six years of loyalty and trust, and for what? To end up as the second-best, easily forgotten choice? To be wanted not for herself but as a placeholder, a substitute for someone else?

Forgiveness, over and over, without hesitation, and Mulder took it for granted. Of course, she will do what he wants. Even when he goes behind her back. Even when he tricks her into it. Even when he leaves her behind with barely a word. Even when she has no reason to do it except because it's him.

Because it's personal.

It has always been personal, but suddenly it's a fallacy she spun out of nothing and not the foundation of their partnership.

"I shouldn't have said that, Scully, i—"

I'm asking you to trust my judgment. To trust me.

"Mulder, shut. up."

He hadn't trusted her. She still trusts him and hates herself for it. What's the point of trusting someone when the reward is rejection and loneliness? When he stopped trusting her God knows how long ago?

The skin on her right wrist burns with abrasions, but she refuses to budge. Pain is sharp and honest, grounding and constant. She trusts pain more than she trusts him.

Time is hard to tell in the dark, it could be minutes or hours of waiting until she can feel his fingertips brush against her palm; she suppresses the urge to flinch. Mulder's touch is warm and light, not meant to ask but to offer, and her body betrays her mind and allows him to interlace their fingers.

God, she misses him. 

Underneath all that bubbling anger and lingering betrayal, she misses her partner. She misses him and the person she knows she can be with him—lighthearted, happy, alive. Contented hours of searching through files and writing reports have become a necessary sacrifice; suffocating spans of time she counts down by the minute.

It was never about the desk. It is not about Diana, not really. 

Maybe the darkness makes them both a bit braver, a bit softer around the edges, because she lets out a deep sigh and wills the tension to leave her muscles. If they keep going the way they have in recent weeks, they will break apart sooner rather than later, and she doesn't want to lose him, she never has. 

All she wants is to get her best friend back and to keep him for however long the world will allow. Not a clean slate or a new beginning, but a second chance for both of them. 

Caught between either extending an olive branch or ending up alone, it is easy to choose. Because it's personal, always has been, and always will be.

The pressure around her wrist disappears when she stops trying to keep her arm from him, and he hesitantly squeezes her hand—she slowly squeezes back.

"I'm sorry. for all of it. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I'm so, so sorry."

Scully pushes herself backward so she is leaning against him again, and when she closes her eyes, she can almost pretend they're somewhere, anywhere else, and she's finally coming home.

"I know, Mulder. I know."

[horuslupercal]

got asked on the Guilliman post so

How Primarchs Cry (To Me)

Lion: represses and represses and represses and then hides away in a closet squished into the corner like a cat on its deathbed but otherwise cries pretty normally. do not point it out to him. gets defensive if you point it out

Fulgrim: gets headaches from crying so hard. keeps a handkerchief nearby because his face gets all gross. at some point in every hardcore crying session he verbally says, "enough." because it annoys him

Perturabo: trying everything in his power to give off the vibe that he never cries. takes every breath very carefully to make sure it's silent, confidently strides off away from this shit (hides away), etc

Khan: is fine, is fine, is fine, and then he's laying in bed and suddenly has to bolt upright to cry into his hands because holy shit that's sure a wave of emotion. it's okay, it'll pass, but hooooly shit at this exact moment it hurts. doesn't want to be seen but it's not the worst thing in the world if he is

Russ: crawls under Freki and Geri like when they were pups and cries for a good while. at some point he rolls over and runs his hand over his face and then grabs one of his brothers around the neck for a wrestle session and he's either fine or he's fine enough to keep on keeping on

Dorn: goes to a private room, does the "I am in control of my emotions" like Spock in that one TOS episode, and then spins around and puts his fist through the wall. opens the door with a hole in the wall and his hair no longer perfectly coiffed and his face blotchy and red and tells you he wasn't crying

Konrad: either silently weeping or wailing like a banshee. never in between. he doesn't choose which.

Sanguinius: the only primarch who can pretty cry but only up to a certain level. at some point he starts screaming and wailing like a fox caught in a bear trap and doubling over in pain and his hair gets all stuck to his face

Ferrus: throws tantrums. doesn't collapse to the floor like a toddler but does start breaking things. makes fun of the reason for his upset -- the mid-funeral roast session in some au where Fulgrim dies pre-heresy would get him cancelled on twitter because it's the only way he can deal with something that shattering. I'm pretty sure I got that headcanon from @luwupercal actually

Angron: cries for all sorts of reasons. sometimes the nails make him cry, not because they hurt or because he hates them but just because they're directly fucking with his brain chemistry. that's the kind of passive cry where he's crying but it's not an event, it's just his tear ducts doing their thing. used to seek out comfort from his siblings in the pit when he was crying from emotion, now he flips tables and screams

Guilliman: an asthmatic pug caught in a plastic ring. gasping for air, sounds like he's being strangled, the works. sounds like he's dying

Mortarion: also sounds asthmatic, on account of the asthma. his tear ducts don't work right so he doesn't really "cry" so much as hyperventilate and occasionally dry heave

Magnus: the crying is what it is, the psychic crying is the real event. his aura gets real sticky and slow and sad, like syrup, and has a tendency to kind of. contaminate other people with his grief unless he specifically stops it from doing that. I feel like he cries when he's mad, too

Horus: sits down and covers his mouth with his hand and puts his elbow on his knee and cries like that. for some reason I feel like it's especially weird for the luna wolves to see him cry -- it's always weird to see your parent cry, but it's extra weird for them and I'm not sure why. horus sitting on a couch crying with his head in his hands and two luna wolves sending panicked looks at each other 👍

Lorgar: compresses/hugs himself so hard he can't breathe, digs his nails into his skin, etc. we saw in the first heretic that he makes himself physically uncomfortable about grief and that's really stuck with me tbh. doesn't really.... know how to cry without also being in physical pain about it

Vulkan: bows his head and weeps, standing right where he is. weirdly bad at being okay with his own grief specifically -- he'll comfort a brother without issue, but his own makes him feel on edge and sedentary and he needs to move and do something and not stand here being sad, he needs to take action, he can't let it be sticky and slow

Corvus: repression king. he can't cry right now he's too BUSY. fuck this shit. and then there's a trigger and he shatters like a popsicle bridge with too much weight on it. the year of isolation before his departure definitely involved a blanket burrito

Alpharius Omegon: how do they need to cry for this scenario?

[aspd-culture]

I wish I had the stereotypical aspd that empaths talk about. The calculative and well groomed businessman who’s incredibly independent even at the cost of other people.

I’m honestly a useless loser. I don’t do anything for anybody yet am livid when they don’t do something for me, 80% of the time I forget or don’t do the tasks I’ve been asked to even if it’s the simplest thing. I pass it off to other people. I get threatened by my parents constantly, called useless and a lazy fuck. I’m not motivated for anything, not employed and the thought of it makes me want to rip my skin off or rip their faces off whenever they mention it. It feels like another extension of control. Everything feels like an extension of control and an excuse to assume power over me.

People in my life are moving ahead of me no problem and I’m still stuck on my ass debating whether to break everything in my parents house when they use my lack of employment and symptoms to make fun of me. My friends talk about it like it’s just so simple to suck it up and march forward and I loathe them for it because they don’t understand.

Maybe this is just me being a whiny brat or a bad person

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

Plain text below the cut:

No, this is you struggling with being in a toxic environment - one that will continue to make you feel like this for as long as your parents act that way towards you. It's not possible to heal and recover and learn to process your symptoms and change your behavior in a toxic situation like that. It's likely keeping you in survival mode.

Truly I think in that situation the best way to get yourself to do the things you would need to do to leave the toxic situation is out of spite. Spite can do a lot for pwASPD when we harness it to use for good, since our PD is so reactive to it. If you think to yourself as though you're talking to them "ha, yeah okay sure I'm getting a job just like you wanted right? Except I'm doing it to get the hell away from you", you might find yourself more able to get to do those things. It's not guaranteed to work, but it's something that might help.

And, if it makes you feel any better, prosocials don't actually like us in that stereotype either AND generally ppl who fit that stereotype are in some other way coping destructively. No one who actually has ASPD is managing to not struggle at all with it bc a disorder can only be diagnosed if it significantly and negatively impacts your life. It's important to remember the stereotypes of this demonized disorder are made out to be supervillains - hyper capable beings who choose to be monsters - bc otherwise the prosocials have to admit that they're bullying people who are hurt and wish we could stop dealing with our symptoms just as much as they wish we didn't have them if not more. It's not fun for them anymore if they think about our actual struggles with ASPD, so they try and make it sound like we're having the time of our lives when none of us do. I promise you're far from alone.

It's also worth noting that if you find yourself entirely unable to work without your mental health destructing, that that's called a disability and there are things you can do to either get accommodations or potentially payment for it bc unlike your parents by the sounds of it, the government understands that mental health is a valid reason one might not be able to work.

You're not a useless loser - you're a person with a disorder that is known to be potentially disabling who is being mistreated and stuck in a toxic environment - at least going by this post.

[axailslink]

Bunny

Toxic! Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Synopsis: After seeing you all buddy buddy with another ex Riri is fuming and takes it upon herself to pay you a visit.

Warning: out of character Riri Williams this is a toxic fic it wasn’t supposed to be but I let my hands guide me and turns out I like drama. Also there are some words that some might not be too fund of when it comes to the spicier scene.

Riri tries her best to control her breathing or calm her heart as it sets on fire from the inside of her chest it's like she can quite literally feel it being pulled out of place and squashed like a bug beneath a church shoe. It suffocates her and you would think that this would make her sad bring tears to her eyes, but it only warms her body as she almost gets the urge to go at you right then and there with every inch of hatred that swells in her bones seeing you with her it's like a candle that tipped and caught a curtain on fire and the more she stands here watching you smile, giggle and fucking he-he and ha-ha the more she wants to wring the neck of the newly reconnected "friendship" of someone who was supposed to be buried way in your pa- "Riri you good?" Riri glances at the person in front of her than her attention is back on you "30 dollars interest for being late on this payment. I sent you the work on time you send me the money on time or I continue to add interest.”

~

Riri has never been so worked up in her life what the hell could you be doing talking to someone who supposedly hurt you so much in the past? Her mind is so stumped she hasn't been able to focus on any of her studies and it's not as if she needs to, but it would calm her mind and soul if she could shit... and if she could do that it would stop her from making the commute to your apartment that's only fifteen minutes away from campus but due to her rage and focus seems to be more like eight. She does not hesitate to bang on your door as if she owns the damn place and you're quick to open your door because you do in fact pay the damn bills. You only blink when you open the door it may be your initial shock or the fact that you were in a very deep sleep and it's barely five in the morning... yeah it's definitely the latter. For a moment Riri wants to smile seeing you all cute in your worn-out tank top titty half out, bonnet slightly lopsided on your head and your lash stuck to your eyebrow but then she remembers seeing you all hugged up with miss whatever the fuck her name is and she's hot all over again. "No whatever it is come back tomorrow or a week from now I know you know it’s five in the morning I got class in a few hours I haven’t even gotten up to ru-“

“Is she better?” “Excuse me?” You’re rubbing your eyes now and fixing your clothes “who?” “The bi- ole girl I see you running around and laughing with recently” you’re racking your brain for a moment but then you realize Riri ain’t got no say who you hang with who you fuck who you kiss or who you’re bent over backwards for, so you suck in a sharp breath and force your next words through your teeth.

"I'm not yours" your words are hushed but there is no lack of confidence while speaking so she hears you just fine "oh" it's as if Riri has just been put back in her place easily too there's no yelling, cursing or fighting just simple to the heart words. Somehow your voice seems to be more confident than your true feelings because you can't help but question your own words "am I?" Riri bites her tongue as she looks at you now somehow without either of your knowledge you both seem to be getting closer in the moment and of course this is a dangerous game. You both broke up for a reason so why do you still have these feelings? Why do you still pine for each other? Why in heaven and hell do you want to kiss her right now?

Why are you allowing her to kiss down your neck? She approached you with all sorts of hostility but somehow, you're not saying anything about the current situation you find yourself in. No, you're tilting your head back and panting as if she's had you running on a leash without any sort of water Riri closes the door and she's somehow pushed you up against it in a gentle manner which is confusing because the tone she took with you only minutes ago was anything but gentle anything but soft and caring. It is insane how it differs from her actions. It truly is insane that she's leaving soft kisses down your chest now and you're allowing her to rid you of your clothes; first the pajama pants that were already oversized and barely hanging on your hips are gone then the tank top which seems to be proving a bit more difficult getting caught in your hair and snatching your lash off your face but eventually it's gone too.

Finally, there's no obstacle between you both no thick layer of clothing keeping either of you at bay she can touch you the way she wants.

Now that you're exposed to the cold air of your apartment her kisses have you feeling feverish every lick, nip and bite leaves behind a warmth cozy feeling which shoots down to your feet and back to your chest. Riri already has her confirmation but now she has a point to prove she has to prove that no one not a damned soul can make you laugh, giggle, or feel ascomfortable as she does.

Jealousy truly can be a beautiful thing sometime.

Riri works her way down your body she makes it her unspoken mission to kiss every inch of you she wants to touch your soul with her hands and lips. You're in such a frenzy you haven't noticed just how long she's been doing this she's gone from your neck traveled down your chest gave your nipples a gentle suck tongued her way down your abdomen kissed in-between your thighs and hugged them as she allowed the tip of her nose to gently tap what she won't rush to get to. Then she’s down your legs all around giving them the attention they deserve. The woman goes to your feet she is persistent on showing all of your body that you belong to her only her and no one else and she is doing a damn good job. Something so simple so soft so comforting should have no effect whatsoever on the rest of your body, right? Right? Wrong you can't help but spread your legs just the smallest bit as Riri runs her hands up them she's not willing to apologize for being an ass for coming to your home unannounced for playing with your feelings but she's willing to beg for you on her face. "Baby" Her saying that damn word has you wanting to do anything to shut her up, so you incase her between your legs and she's humming in contentment before she even begins to taste you.

You're holding onto the door handle for either your stability or your sanity as Riri glides her tongue across your slit teasing you but you're too impatient for her to be playing these types of games. "Ri" you breath out a warning makes her want to laugh how only a day ago you two were not on talking terms but now she's quite literally on her knees in front of you gripping your thigh like her life depends on it as she tongue fucks you trying to rip any sort of sound from your lips. Your moans and gasps just aren't enough. She stands in front of you again kissing you so passionately, needily. So hungrily and it stays that way as you wrap your leg around her, she's slow taking the silent offer upon chance as she trails her hand up your thigh and around the curve of your ass cupping it tightly bringing you close as if you weren't already a simple step away. She slips two fingers inside of you and you let a soft mewl escape your slightly parted lips humming in satisfaction she begins to gently caress your walls with just those two fingers

You want to cry as you hear a phone ring because please don’t let this stop not right now not yet. Riri pulls her hand away unbothered by its wetness as she answers the phone you whine in dissatisfaction but she gives your wet cunt a gentle tap ushering you to shush and be patient. As she takes the call her free hand continues caressing your thigh “baby it’s five in the morning what’s wrong?” Even though her hands are on you right now you can’t help but feel a sting in your chest as she speaks to “this” unknown caller “okay how about I bring you some breakfast and we watch movies til our first class? That sound good?” You want to be sad upset even but her hands sliding from around your thigh to your oh so sensitive clit proves to be a great distraction you can’t help but gasp out a moan. “Okay see you in thirty” she drops her phone on the floor and she’s quick to get up and press a harsh kiss against your lips before you can begin to ask questions or doubt what’s happening. “I gotta go” you look her dead in her eyes and laugh “you gotta go?” She doesn’t let you pull away even though she can see it in your eyes before you try “yes bunny I gotta go I’ll be back tonight what time you want me here?”

“I don’t want you here… shit ion think so..?” Riri sighs “eight? Seven? What you want to eat tacos? You know that food truck-“ you let her talk as you just sit and dwell for a moment on your couch “bunny? She’s baby and I’m bunny?” Riri watches you confusedly before saying “you said you’re not mine I’m simply abiding your wishes that’s what you want right? To not be mine… BUNNY it is.”

A/n: I know I’m trifling but I had fun with this it’s so out of character though but the fun was worth it and I probably won’t make a part 2.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐵𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑠, 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑡 3

A/N: I'm so damn happy, adding that It's Ben' bday, that I'll share two parts of this and an oneshot

Tagging: @bloody-mf-bsc, @augustwithquills

Liked by benbarnes, jessie_mei_li, blakelively, jennaortega and 7,453,241 others

Y/N Y/L/N: There they are, my beautiful girls!🥹💞

My offer is still on, btw 🤭

View 675,132 comments

User2: The Devil works hard, but no one works harder than Y/N in trying to woo her girlfriends

Jessie_mei_li: She really doesn't have to, we're all very happy to oblige... And so do everyone else, like have you seen her? 🫦😏

freddycarter1: benbarnes, I think you are loosing your woman here...😳🫢

Kittheyounger: I don't want to be a child of divorce! 😭

User6: WHY ARE THEY SO DRAMATIC DJSJDJ

User6: Now I wanna know what her offer is...

User4: Ben Barnes is being attacked from every corner possible and we are all watching, him loose this Great War.

User1: He still is very much so in love and ready to fight tooth and nail for her... Even though he is usually a dork 🤣

User8: That one time when Y/N ate what Ben made for her on her birthday, though she had allergies for that one food but didn't tell hım about it, and she had to go to hospital with a terrified Ben on her tail?

User5: OMG I feel bad for laughing! Poor Ben and Y/N... I remember hım saying that he was so scared for her and thought he killed her accidently 🥹😭

User4: And when she was asked why she did it, she just casually said: "What do you mean why? He did it, thinking that I'd like it. I'd drink fucking posion if my man came to me with such thing!"

User3: And Ben Barnes, who is usually so cool, got teary eyed and hugged her thightly and apologized? On live? Even though he doesn't like talking about his life? That's who we stan.

User1: It's almost like we are their children, reminiscing about their past... But I'm jealous because I don't have someone like her in my life

User4: My life would surely be different if I had her in my life, not even as a partner. She just is so effortlessly kind...

Y/N's.dimple: Ben Barnes is living the life we want... We're just little gremlins watching them

Liked by benbarnes, shadowandbone, chrishemsworth, matthewsturniolo and 7,999,987 others

Y/N Y/L/N: Stop making my heart stop with that smile and being cute. Bitch. Who gave you the right? This goes straight to be my New lockscreen.

View 786,988 comments

User4: Y/N is just our inner voice coming out on social media

User3: Her love is agressive confessions of love, if you aren't gonna put a ring on her finger benbarnes, I will. And I'll do it gladly.

Y/N Y/L/N: Look at hım... So cute, so squeashy, so adorable. He is my handsome babygirl 🥰🤭 (No, I'm not giggling and kicking my feet, the scene would be ruined if I moved the came- Ah, look at that! Suddenly I'm on hım??) Liked by benbarnes

User4: Aight my life didn't matter anyways *dies of cuteness*

User5: I love the way they love each other and show it without caring for anyone, and also how we simp for them 🥹😍❤️

amita_suman: @ user5, you guys aren't alone. We also feel the same way🥹

User7: Ben Barnes is finally being pampered on social media! He finally had his dream come true!

benbarnes.fans: The way she is so soft with others but absolutely a menace with Ben just shows that they are comfortable with each other so much...

User5: And the way he looks at her as she acts like who she really is? All comfortable with him?? I'm crying 🥹😭

User6: You know what's even best? If not for Y/N, we wouldn't have Ben, Amita, Jessie and others.

User3: I swear they all forget their passwords

User2: What's even funnier is that they really do forget their passwords and one time asked her... Y/N literally takes note their passwords and has absolute control over their accounts lol

User3: She wasn't called "the Mommy" for no reason🤣

Y/N Y/L/N: They are all children stuck in grown-up's bodies...It's hard you know? Taking care of them as a single mom😔

Liked by jessie_mei_li, benbarnes, amita_suman and 9,867,566 others

Y/N Y/L/N: Another appreciation post!

1.Here is my lovely harem!

2. Just so you know, she was looking at me! And big applause for dear @ ambercrombachmua for all those amazing makeups! You guys are amazing!

3. That was the last day of shooting... Did they cry? Yes. Did we cry? Also yes. Did I hide in my caravan because I didn't want to see them all cry? Also yes.🥹

View 997,645 comments

User11: She is so precious, just like a cinnamon roll❤️

User7: love how she didn't forget to include the makeup department. Everyone needs to take a moment and appreciate them.

Y/N Y/L/N: We need to take SEVERAL minutes just to applaud them 👏

User6: Is she the one who did that amazing bloody, unhinged Kaz makeup? Because if so, I hope they are having an amazing day @ Y/N Y/L/N

Y/N Y/L/N: Yes, she was! And what a masterpiece it was...

Hater1: another cheating post!

User3: the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you here again? Go and cry at the corner.

Hater1: I just know that she banged at least one person there behind Ben's back. She doesn't deserve hım.

User3: THAT'S IT! HOW DARE YOU BRING THEM DOWN INTO THIS AND BLAME THEM WITH SUCH THING?! ALL OF THEM SHOWED NOTHING BUT LOVE FOR BOTH OF THEM, AND EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE WHO HAD EVER MET THEM HOW IN LOVE THEY LOOKED! THEY ARE SUCH SWEET PEOPLE THAT THEY DON'T DESERVE RHIS SHIT! JUST BECAUSE Y/N SHOWS HER LOVE THROUGH SARCASM DOESN'T MEAN SHE DOESN'T LOVE HIM! IF SHE DIDN'T, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE FLIGHT TO THE OTHER PART OF THE PLANET WHEN BEN WAS SICK! GET YOUR SICK BRAIN AND GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM AND DON'T RUIN THEIR HAPPINESS!

User7: Sis, here is your crown, you dropped it 〈⁠(⁠•⁠ˇ⁠‿⁠ˇ⁠•⁠)⁠-⁠→👑

benbarnes: and who do I deserve more than her? You?

User5: our dad hit the nail so nice! Well-said dad, hand them their ass! FANS ASSEMBLE TOGETHER!

benbarnes: I didn't say anything because my girlfriend wanted me to not do anything harsh, but now I'm happy to tell you that by disrespecting my love and me like that, you signed your doom. Enjoy your new hell.

User6: You know It's dead-ass serious when her man gets involved... I wanna see that hater cry.

User9: there is just something with the way Ben defended Y/N that... I can't just get out of my head.

User6: This is what a Man is, girls. Take notes and don't settle down for any less!

User7: The way she just doesn't share the others in the second one... Girl, do you hate the men of the cast?😂

User4: I heard that she actually loves them all so much *whispers slowly*

Y/N: Ahh, here is my secret out in the wild... there is another fanpage dedicated to them, they just don't know it

Kittheyounger: I knew you liked others than Luke! This is the best day of my life! Guys, you don't know how it feels like to be bullied and slapped by your own director😭 Someone who is supposed to love you and care for you, be there when you need and help you...

Y/N Y/L/N: Kit, your inner Jesper is showing itself again and I aint your mama

kittheyounger: what language is that?!

Y/N Y/L/N: American English, you Brit! Not that you would understand... and don't you dare spit your venom at my precious Luke and David...

User8: DOES THAT MEAN HE COMES BACK?! PLEASE I NEED IT!

User8: Y/N, THE PRETTIEST MOST SUCCESFULL WOMAN? I AM ON MY KNEES PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU?!

User2: Bro is desperate lol @ user8

User5: This further proves that, yes Jessie is the favourite one

User3: but look at her and that little scrunch if her nose! How could she not be?🤭🥰

Y/N Y/L/N: another one who understands my point... One day, everyone will ✊🥹

Liked by benbarnes, blakelively, nickiminaj and 6,789,885 others

Y/N Y/L/N: Same, sis, same...✊🥹

View 897,994 comments

benbarnes: One day, love... Just one day of you not sharing any "memes" about me.

Y/N: But... But they are cute 👉👈 And you are so... Hot. And mine.

benbarnes: the real thing is sitting next to you and you are giggling at your phone??

Y/N Y/L/N: But... But I have to look at your younger pictures. You aged like fine wine and I'm this 🤏 close to just jump on you and...you know what I mean.

benbarnes: Okay, that's enough internet for you today 😑😳🫠

User9: Y/N just realized how hot her man is and now she uses every chance to tease hım and I'm living for it

User6: Like we always say: Live, laugh and love Y/N and her sense of humor

Y/N Y/L/N: It's the same as Gen-Z humour really. There are young people working for me, and they tell me the most bizarre stories ever like... how are you all still alive??

User8: Ben is just so done yet also in love with her that he just can't say no to her 🥹❤️

User9: Her captions are just killing me 🤣 By the way is that hater fine? If not, I can just... talk to her like a civil person🔪

User5: I heard user3 handed that person their ass from DMs so bad that they erased their account lol

User9: Good for her! That shit never gave up on picking on our parents, someone had to show them our power

User12: The way Ben defended her tho😳 I bet my ass dad is planning homicide and I'd gladly help. FOR OUR MOTHER!

user7: by the way they had been all over each other in stories and post... They are probably having a hot session or something 👐

User3: Thank you all for your support! I was just so angry at them for saying such things about probably the nicest people on this Planet! They saved me, and many others, without even knowing, Y/N is the sweetest soul ever with how she supports and is there for everyone who wants her help and she ABSOLUTELY doesn't deserve to get hate!

Y/N Y/L/N: I can actually cry, I'm so grateful to have fans like you 🥹

Y/N.Fanpage: PLEASE DON'T CRY I CAN'T BEAR IT-

User12: Girlie pop Y/N also had a crush on Caspian, best Info I had today 😌

User5: The way Y/N just knows her man and how he aged is so mood

User3: Considering she also tried to jump on his bones... Also a mood

User2: girl, did something happen today? @ Y/N Y/L/N Usually she isn't that mushy... Not that I have a complaint.

amita_suman: @ user2 no, except one of the workers we absolutely loathe flirting with him shamelessly in front of her 😒

freddycarter1: and her absolutely roasting her so bad that she quit... And us planning our revenge 🤭

archierenaux3: No one messes with our parents!😡

Y/N Y/L/N: I apologize for the inconvenient shit I'll be right now but... Did the FUCKING Nicki Minaj just... Like my post?

User5: Opps, we lost her again...

benbarnes: Indeed we did... She is blasting her songs inside the house right now.

[jedi-enthusiast]

Can you please elaborate on the 4-hour conversation about Palpatine screwing himself over bc I would genuinely LOVE to hear it

OH HELL YEAH, I'D LOVE TO!!! and tagging @shootingstarpilot because they also wanted to hear me shit on Palpatine.

I'm gonna do my best to summarize our discussion, but it's probably gonna be long as hell, and for everyone reading please keep this in mind:

My friend and I were obviously not discussing the ethics of Palpatine's way of ruling or our own suggestions--this was just us talking about how he was stupid and could've probably ruled longer if he did the following things.

----------

Number One - The Death Star Was a Stupid Idea

Ok, we both agreed that the Death Star was the fucking stupidest thing ever because it 1. was a huge expense that could've gone to other things that would've worked better and 2. odds are, it would've just led to an uprising in Imperial ranks and wouldn't have worked as the "intimidation tactic" he thought it would.

We're just gonna be focusing on 2 since 1 is discussed in the other parts.

Basically the gist was that obviously Imperials come from the same planets as everyone else, right? They're recruited, not created (something we'll come back to later).

That means that if the Emperor and high ranking Imperial Officers just destroyed planets willy-nilly every time a rebel from that planet didn't listen (like Leia and Alderaan) or had a rebel presence, then they'd be 1. destroying other Imperials' home planets as well 2. destroying those same Imperials' friends and families and 3. destroying the Imperial forces on said planets, which wouldn't send a good message to the Imperials working for them.

That obviously wouldn't go over well with Imperials whose planets were destroyed or probably any other Imperial, because Palpatine would be sending the message that "it happened to this officer, why wouldn't it happen to you?" which would then probably lead to a lot of Imperials defecting to the Rebellion, spying for the Rebellion, or just plain quitting.

And you can't really threaten planetary destruction if they quit because 1. again, there are other Imperials from that planet and 2. that's literally already a possibility, even if they work for the Empire. And if they don't destroy planets willy-nilly because of a rebel or rebel presence, then the Death Star isn't even a very convincing intimidation tactic and ultimately useless.

So either way it's just a very stupid, expensive show pony.

Number Two - They Should've Stuck With the Clones

Choosing to recruit random people from across the galaxy instead of just sticking with the Kaminoans and the clones was just fucking stupid.

Firstly, the clones could be controlled by the chips in their heads. Yes, newer material is showing them start to question the Empire as their chips degrade, but that's because Palpatine's plan was specifically to use them to kill the Jedi and then toss them away--not because he planned on using them as soldiers in the long term.

If that was his plan, I guarantee you that the Kaminoans could have found ways to make the chips permanent or, at the very least, last a lot longer--and, honestly, they probably could've made the effects a lot stronger to the point where it suppressed all personality traits. They also could've made ways to stop the faster aging process after a certain point so that the clones could stay "viable" longer. They just didn't because that wasn't really the plan, it wasn't meant to be a permanent thing.

Second, the Kaminoans were obviously willing to stay loyal to the Empire as long as they kept buying clones--and for an Empire that's constantly fighting and conquering and expanding, I'd say they'd never really have a reason to stop buying clones. Plus, with how much Palpatine shelled out for 2 Death Stars, which were ultimately useless, he obviously has the money to keep buying clones--and obviously the clones aren't being paid. So the fact that he wouldn't be paying the millions of Imperials that work for the Empire would probably pay for the clones themselves.

So Kamino would always be loyal, since it's obvious they don't really give a shit about the moral quandary of things from what we're shown, only really their personal connections/gains. The few surviving Kaminoans only became willing to turn on the Empire (and, even still, it takes a lot to convince them) after Kamino was destroyed.

Third, let's just be honest here, the clones are a whole hell of a lot more skilled and efficient than stormtroopers. Stormtroopers literally miss most of the shots they take, meanwhile clones are shown to be very skilled and capable and also shown to overcome the odds a lot of times and succeed where they should've failed. Yes, sometimes that's because of the Jedi, but a lot of times they're able to just do it themselves (like Rishi and Umbara, for example).

I can't remember the last time I've seen the Stormtroopers actually be successful in a show or movie, unless there was a Darksider helping them or some really high ranking Imperial with them (like Moff Gideon).

So basically, Palpatine threw away a force of skilled, capable soldiers that he could've made be unquestionably loyal to him--a force of soldiers that honestly would've been far more intimidating than the Death Star--in order to recruit a bunch of untrained soldiers that would have to be trained later and could turn on him at any point.

Again, stupid.

Number Three - The Shitty Training and Supplies

I'll admit, my friend was the one who outlined this part for me because he knows a lot more about weapon types and such than I do--but basically his ramble boiled down to this:

Palpatine basically gave Imperials shittier armor, weapons, and ships than the Republic did because he was cheap and that's probably why everything didn't work very well and/or was easily destroyed. I can try to elaborate on this in another post, but he honestly was the brains behind this part of the discussion.

We also talked about how, since Imperials were recruits and their training was done later in life (even if that "later in life" was just like 15), their training was probably a lot more rushed than the training the clones went through, and it probably didn't stick as well. Plus, just because of the nature of recruitment, their standards probably had to be lowered some in order to fill their ranks and also because you can't really threaten them with the same shit the Kaminoans did with the clones.

----------

So, in conclusion, Palpatine made stupid ass decisions.

In other news, water is wet.

[knightinink]

Blitzo & Fizzarolli: Some Character Analysis

I've been thinking about this ever since ep7 came out, & the scene of a teenage Blitzo & Fizzarolli walking home after the Mammon concert has revealed a part of their relationship dynamic when they were younger.

Wherever Blitzo goes, Fizz will follow, & Blitzo protects him from danger.

Just from watching them, it's apparent to me that between the two of them, Fizz is a lot more self-conscious & sensitive than Blitzo is, and is a more "wears his heart on his sleeve" type of person. Fizz strikes me as someone who would want to help someone if he could, even if it makes him uncomfortable (ex: the fizz-bots Mammon wanted). Fizz could very easily get himself stuck in situations he doesn't particularly want to be in, as he doesn't stick up for himself.

One reason he & Blitzo go together so well is because Blitzo does, & we've seen that during their interaction with Creepzo. Fizz is immediately uncomfortable & Blitzo notices, & he starts threatening the guy to beat it or he's gonna make him swallow his fangs. But Fizz doesn't pull away, clearly not wanting this interaction to be happening right now, but it's like he doesn't know how to say "no", and eventually just ends it with "We have to go now, thanks though!" in a falsely-polite tone.

I LOVE this next short scene because of Fizz's body language.

Fizz is still hunched inwards & hugging himself, clearly uncomfortable & attempting to self-soothe, but he looks back at the guy as he forlornly screams his name. This gives me the impression that Fizz feels bad for making the guy upset, and even though he was being a massive creep, Fizz would've possibly turned back to apologize & would work something out with the guy to make him feel better (i.e. what I think happened with both Cash & Mammon, as both are manipulative to get what they want & Blitzo wasn't there to stop them).

But when he looked back at Blitzo & noticed he hadn't stopped walking, he quickly kept by him, as if seeing his best friend ignore the guy snapped him out of what would've been a very dangerous decision, & Fizz kept going.

& we see that Blitzo's instincts were correct to get Fizz out of there, because as soon as he leaves, Creepzo drops the sad act & starts angrily hurling insults at Fizz, showing his true nature.

"Fine, fuck you! You think you're better than me you elitist prick? Your act's fucking trash anyways!"

& while this comment clearly upsets Fizz, he keeps on following Blitzo away from the danger, trusting the other imp to keep him safe. Once they're away from the immediate threat, it's time for Blitzo to do damage control.

We can tell from Fizz's body language that, even though he's this successful & renowned circus performer, he's still really self-conscious & doesn't think he's as good as he is. He's been working to get where he is for practically his entire life, & still it only takes one person's nasty comment to bring him crashing down.

"What if my acts are trash? What if I'm never good enough?"

"Hey, don't let one asshole get to you, okay? You are plenty good enough!"

Blitzo isn't just saying that to make Fizz feel better in the moment, he's saying it because he genuinely means it, & he knows just how good the other imp is at what he does, even if he doesn't see it. Blitzo cares so much about Fizzarolli, & hates seeing him upset, which is why his next instinct after the danger is gone is to comfort & reassure him.

I think that, as a teenager himself, Blitzo is also self-conscious to a degree (& we see him spiral into his self-hatred tendencies as an adult & that had to start somewhere), but he's much better at concealing it than Fizz is. We know people's opinion of him (aka. Cash) & how Creepzo didn't acknowledge him as a performer at the same circus Fizz works for, so it's assumed that people know he isn't as good as Fizz is. And while it hurts him, Blitzo has been toughened by the world in a different way than Fizz has, hence why he reacts the way he does.

They were both forced to grow up too fast, being circus performers from their childhood & in their teenage years & being hardened by the world comes with that, but it affected Blitzo & Fizz differently where Blitzo would rather give the cold-shoulder & tell people to fuck off while Fizz is much more emotionally-inclined & is more likely to give in against what he wants.

Blitzo puts his opinion of himself above others, but Fizz is the exact opposite, feeling like he constantly needs to prove himself to others & who's opinions really don't matter. Fizz craves validation & Blitzo wants him to see that no one's opinion matters but his own, & once Fizz can see himself for the amazing, talented individual he is, he will be happier & more confidant than he ever was before.

But, unfortunately, because they were separated, Fizz was manipulated by Mammon into doing things he didn't want to do, all because he felt like he needed to prove himself & that he was still good enough.

-

Thanks for reading this angst fest! Here's some happy Blitzo & Fizz for getting through to the end, to lift the mood a bit!

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Thinking about what you said, I think it's highly probable Madelyn Stillwell raped Homelander when he was 14 or 15.

That's around the age he got stuck at, right?

I think fandom is probably right about her doing it as more of a means to control him than anything, but I think you're probably right about this making it worse and meaning she did much more than has been shown to us on screen.

Regardless, I think this would have to be the case and I would say is even implied, but you are absolutely right that it shouldn't matter why someone decides to be a child molester.

They're still a child molester and whatever reasoning they have, the act is still vile and inexcusable. There even being debate on that in fandom just seems like grooming apologism and abuse dismissal because of favoritism towards Madelyn.

But the results and actions are ultimately the same in the end. It's also implementing a clause to make it mutually exclusionary when it could very well be both.

In the final scene, she swears to him that she loves him but is afraid of him and Homelander thanks her for finally being honest with him before killing her.

What if she was being honest or at least believed her own words when she said she loved him?

And the other scenes between them never struck me as a one time deal or the first time something like them happened. He does look off put in some ways and not quite uncomfortable, but almost like he's regressing when he's with her. Like she maybe used to do that sort of stuff more frequently and hasn't lately.

The scene where they're finally together struck me as more regression too. He immediately apologized to her and she consoled him like it was something that has happened before and she was used to it from him. Even the words she used and the way she said it and the way things were.

"My special sweet boy." "You did good." "That was so lovely."

Do people really believe this or similar can't have happened before with the things she says? To me, they indicate the exact opposite of that thought.

The scene looked almost like it was his first time, and obviously not hers. But the only way that really makes sense is if he is experiencing a moment of regression, possibly to his actual first time with her.

The scene feels like mother and son incest after years of abuse where she's deliberately causing his regression and enjoying the power it gives her over him.

She's a predator and this to me is made pretty clear if not explicit.

OOOH~<3! my darling anon, i wish i could fucking kiss you<3!

you just put into a word exactly why i could never get behind the homewell ship or the homewell type elements being used in other ships in fics that were supposedly trying to *heal* him. easy way to get me to check out for a fic because you *CANNOT* use elements from someone's trauma and abuse, legit full on *exploit* them, and *then* dare to call it or frame it as *healing* and expect it all to be hunky dory, that is just not how that shit works. (at least speaking in terms of medical accuracy/no wonder this shit is so triggery for me, this ain't supposed to be fuckin' disney--)

obliviously or dismissively predatory, so not even in the fun way...

and i want to be clear here, because this isn't me trying to tell people to not like the ship or elements or stop making content for them or whatever the fuck else. i don't care if people have or indulge in toxic guilty pleasure ships or stories here and there (literally have my own), but i always think we should be self aware of our own shit (plus ranting is sometimes good for the soul~<3) and it really *really* shows some people just are not in this case.

i *also* know people don't always mean to set up that way, part of it is a major problem with society (i will get to that~) and the only way for people to be aware is to be *made* aware, butt~

"--you think love is to prey, but i'm sorry i don't pray that way!"

"once i ran to you, now i run from you, this tainted love you've given--"

1000% correct. madelyn, regardless of what happened *off screen* between her and homelander, what we *did* see of her is enough to confirm her as a *predator*, and this was *before* diabolical added to the story behind them. she is extremely predatory as a character, set behind a narcissistic 'mother knows best' filter and a lot of it has nothing to do with homelander.

look no further than starlight~<3

this woman attempted to get a victim of rape to have 'discretion' about what happened to her, TO HER FACE. and every step of the way, tried to bully starlight into 'line' for the company. literally using narcissistic abuse--guilt tripping and shame, questioning her core values, fucking gaslighting (all things we see homelander copy oh deary me what an *odd* cowinkidink!! I WONDER WHERE HE LEARNED IT FROM.)--among others with a 'motherly' frame and 'it's just constructive criticism' (BITCH NO IT AIN'T!!) to manipulate her into doing what vought wanted/what was best for the *company*, NOT for annie.

hell, i'd wager she fucking hired starlight *specifically* because they thought she'd be an *easy* target.

she was *vulnerable*, nearly alone in that big city. her only relative/support system was an extremely religious mother who was *pushing her* to push through any pain or abuse and still wear a smile *for vought* and *for her* because of *fame* and *fortune*, framed as *for annie* when no it def wasn't. (i do like that starlight's mum actually becomes self aware of this and tries to amend the trust she broke, but i digress)

her tapes and everything they showed us about starlight showed us a wide eyed, bright eyed girl who was *hopeful*--but also naive... and as much as it pains me, that would have made her more susceptible to vought's machinations.

and i think the main reason annie didn't completely fall down the vought victims rabbit hole is in part due her truly good nature<3, but also because she met *hughie* (side note, notice how every time hughie and starlight have a falling out or separate from each other, they both start to get *worse*. butcher also tends to swoop in--)

it doesn't get talked about enough, but butcher pulls the same kind of bullshit with hughie (honestly probably why i could never quite feel right about butchie, do still like it but i do prefer it if butcher catches some guilty complexes causa hughie lmao), another good kid who's just had something monumentally traumatic happen to him and is in a super fucking vulnerable place where he'd be easy to manipulate for whatever it is butcher has planned.

he scoped him out and *saw* that, something to *use* to his advantage. and recruited him as such. like a gotdamn predator.

the wrench in his plans (as well as madelyn's) came in *hughie meeting annie* because they *gave* each other a solid support system because they were both good people, dealing with trauma, who found each other~<3 (always a hardcore hughielight shipper)

and butcher even *knows* this, he *knows* annie actually *honestly* and actually HELPS hughie and ruins his plots for him, so of course that mofo is gonna keep trying to ruin everything and break them up. if madelyn had ever discovered hughie, she probably would have done the same shit if in her own faux 'concerned mother' way.

BUTT... you are absolutely right in saying that fandom is highly dismissive or even apologist of what madelyn did to homelander (like they are with fuckin' everything that happened to him honestly) and it doesn't matter what reason she had to abuse him, what should be looked at is the fact of the matter.

did she abuse him? yes or no

the answer is yes, period. asking if she was actually attracted to him or just wanted control becomes a moot point after that, she *still* fucking groomed him. people can go ahead and debate the other factors, but the least they could do is acknowledge the first bit and not use the others to try and deny or 'lessen' the gravity of what she did.

i blame part of this on ableism and victim blaming, but also with how dismissive people *still* are when it comes to male victims of just about anything. christ, we still have people in fandom who have watched the show and *refuse*, not hyperbole, they downright *REFUSE* to acknowledge that homelander could have *any* semblance of victimhood whatsoever. despite the fact that he was literally tortured as a child and fucking groomed and we are given glimpses of these facts on screen, they'll deny any form of nuance and paint it as completely black or white, because he became... pretty much the only thing that fate allowed him to become.

that's not limited to this site even, it's prevalent pretty much in any part of the boys fandom across the web. (which is ironic given the series exists to challenge this sort of thinking)

but how often do we still see cases of a male *child* being sexually assaulted by an adult woman and the fucking judge going, "wElL sHe'S cAnDy So He PrObAbLy LiKeD iT"?

thankfully, not as often anymore. but if i'm honest? TOO FUCKING MANY (once is fucking too many) and the thought is still INSANELY pervasive. and again, it leads back to the question.

did she abuse him? yes or no

it doesn't fucking matter if the kid 'liked it' or not, MA'AM, THIS IS A FUCKING CHILD--

*children can NOT consent*

or in homelander's case, an emotionally stunted extremely mentally ill person. and ALSO a child at one point.

*likewise, mentally ill/special needs/disabled people and informed consent is an issue all its own. all of these are among the most vulnerable to abuse and the least likely to get justice for it*

if madelyn had been a man, nobody would question this. (who am i kidding, i'd like to think that but i am well aware there are apologists of all kinds that would not give a shit and be equally gross about it.)

and you are def right, it *feels* 1000% like *regression* in the scenes he's with her. and now that you mention it, the scene where they're together?? oh, fuck me. anon... that is *dark* and it fucking hurts but you may be right.

it *was* absolutely the first time *we* as an audience saw them together, and i think that may skew the perception about. there *was* absolutely an effort to regain control over him in that instance. but the things she said and the way it plays out... no

plainly, just no... it *does not* feel like the very first time that has happened... it feels like something that is *rare* between them. but definitely something that's happened *before*, and perhaps something she maintains as *rare* specifically to keep a hold on him. (could this be one reason for the diabolical episode?? to further implicate this?)

and even his use of doppelganger hinted at this cause think of it.

a 'madelyn' that is *just* for him, *only* the parts of her that... gave him attention, the bits he *liked*. what she more than likely fed to him as *scraps* to keep him crawling back for more. but because it was never genuine, the confusion from the ratio with abuse was thrown off, and the entire illusion that it ever meant anything was shattered prior (along with stormfront manipulating him), well...

"i give you all a boy could give you, take my tears and that's not nearly--"

down to his hatred and jealousy of teddy. we have to imagine what things were like before she had him but i get the feeling homelander got a lot more attention before then. it was well over 20 years and people honestly think in all that time *nothing* else happened??? things were 'normal' and then boom, *random* mommy kink??? hell, even the kid was maybe just as much a means to 'reset' the balance and help her maintain control as he was for future profit for vought.

OW.

yes. madelyn is a predator. homelander is her groomed victim. and i don't think it gets mentioned enough in this discourse, but one of the biggest reasons predators prey on the vulnerable or even want to make a fucking victim of someone is *because* of the power trip it gives them over that person. (hell, homelander fucking does this *specifically* because it has been done to him his entire life!)

and *even former abuse victims* may not realize it when they pull this sort of shit. i'm not gonna dive into that because it is a fucking *depressing* can of tapeworms, but let's just say i've been there, i know people who've been there, and i know people who know people who've been there. so this shit is a big fucking problem for people when we don't notice it and massively persistent circle jerk of perpetuation.

but it's still fucking predation, it doesn't make a difference if it's done by someone with power/control kink, narcissistic disorder or 'mommy/daddy dearest' vibes, pedophilic disorder, etc. it still fucking harmful and victimizes someone (especially when they are unaware/cannot consent to the powerplay OH FUCK--)

goddammit... i just realized the problem lmao... PISS. POOR. BDSM ETIQUETTE. GOTDAMN.

and trauma management i guess.

basically, people tag dom/sub or top/bottom when they should be tagging a 'control' or 'abuse kink'. dom/sub play relies on the informed consent of both parties while 'control' relies on the lack there of (informed consent) from the 'sub'. and in homelander's case, this shit is particularly bad. (readers need to be given informed consent too!! always tag yo shit y'all!!)

which to be fair, ain't exactly the fault of the ship itself, but more so the lack of awareness/common dismissal on it. it's really hella normalized/often advertised as 'just a quirky lil guy with a mommy kink' when that's not even remotely the only thing at play here and it goes way deeper and darker than that. you toss in homelander's other traumas and it's just... it's a goddamn mess.

and now i understand why i am so incredibly grossed out by fics that push homelander through more of this nonsense (or worse) with a new person (any person) and never bother addressing the trauma he has *directly* related to this shit. (because my traumas directly deal in the control shit yayyyyyyyyyyyyy~... UGH--)

well.

call me a pussy if you must (i am a pussy and a cunt and a dick and an asshole, i wear it shamelessly~<3) but i just ain't all that interested in fics that only exchange *handlers* for homelander instead of actually help him (when that's what they'll claim to want to do). seriously, lining him up with another 'madelyn' of all things just leaves me wishing he could *get away* from his shiny new abuser (because that is what she was, and would ideally be the inevitable outcome anyhow!)

homelander needs at least *one* honest *friend* who genuinely doesn't want anything from him to help him unblur the lines of informed consent that madelyn intentionally muddled *before* he can even make informed consent when it comes to this shit, especially if we wanna *actually* heal that boi (all he's had is more people capitalizing on it over and over if not just people with no clue of the minefield they were navigating)

he'd need to be able to experience true *independence* and *agency* before he decided they were things he actually wanted to put in someone else's hands or 'give up', so to speak, both of which would come *after* healing.

and if i'm indulging in toxicity with him, i'ma make him *get back at his abusers*~<3, give him a chance at some revenge porn for once and make it so much worse for *them*, not the guy who literally never had a chance or got to breathe his own breath (and def tagged properly of course).

but of all the whack ass takes i could see in the sea of fandoms, ANYONE in that position over this boi (or any character in similar situation) as he is *unhealed* is *NOT* his ally and doesn't give an honest shit about him, it's 100% all about *control* over him (which i know is a huge kink for tons of people and hypernormalized in society, especially heteronormativity, but again, trauma central for me so it'd be really fuckin' nice if people learned the difference and also started tagging this shit~<3)

fun for some, but not for me.

i've always generally preferred push/pull powerplay that purposely leaves the question of 'control' open/eventually balances it and helps empower and individualize both characters to be the best versions of themselves, i want them to learn and grow together. positive masculinity/femininity and emotional maturity are way more of a turn on for me and i want these bois and gurls and inbetweens to graduate to *men* and *women* and fairly *reasonable adults* when i write them, while preserving their core personalities and the things that make them *them*.

i also don't view 'bottomhood' as 'punishment'/something to use to deliberately rob a person of control/self determination (as much as we may joke about it, and also that is just rape with a pretty veil that at least deserves to be properly tagged) and i normally focus on empowering them just as much if not more than my tops so it's just damn weird to me to see that kind of mentality get popularized on any character and leik.

gotdamn, first off, what the shit, and second, i realize getting to the places i wanna go reasonably and responsibly takes hard work and pretty intricate writing but please lawd satan tell me i ain't the only one to feel this way, PLEASE!?

but very good point about it possibly being both/more than one element here. control is more likely to be *one* reason, but not *the* only reason and it could very well be a factor of both attraction and need to/getting off on the idea of controlling him (which still stems back to attraction, honestly, even if she didn't feel it towards him the sense of him being a child, it would still mean she feels it towards him in the sense of him being vulnerable which is just as awful, honestly.)

and i do think his stunted emotional maturity is 100% indicative that something *very* specific happened to him around that age (*maybe* she waited till after the debut??), but among all the other trauma, that is actually a question worth asking. why *then* and not any of the other times? he's got no shortage of trauma for his brain to pick from, so what the hell happened then?

as far as it feeling like incest? lil bit, yeah (if pseudo, which obviously we know it's not but i do think the vibe there is actually intended), suffice to say that madelyn is to homelander what billy's father was to him...

and y'know... i gotta admit, knowing this i am surprised we don't see all that much of butcher being shipped with his father because that and homewell are pretty much the same thing on opposite spectrums.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--

have fun y'all, as always butt leik... have fun responsibly--gawddammit i never thought i'd be *that* old fart but i guess i am... well i can still be fun about it... tipsy bartender is fun lmao<3<3<3 (altho these subjects are decidedly less fun... *sigh of the long suffering*...)

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 20 - 616

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Sineala

One of the things I love most about Sineala's writing - other than the general brilliance of it - is how much work she puts into tying her fics into canon. I feel like most of what I know about Marvel Comics I learned by reading the helpful notes she adds to her works, explaining which volumes and arcs each canon element is from. Aside from that, Sineala is one of the best writers in the fandom (in my opinion, but honestly, it's just a fact), and I love everything she's ever written. I've recommended a bunch of her stuff this year already, but honestly, you should just read her entire AO3 catalogue.

Here's some of her work that I think you should check out:

Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 6,000 Tags: Truth Spells, Chronic Pain, Secrets

Summary: When Tony gets hit by a truth spell, the consequences aren't what anyone expected. They're sure not what Tony expected. He wishes he could stop telling his teammates about all the medical problems he tries to hide. As long as he doesn't open his mouth and reveal his secret feelings for Steve, or all his secret inadequacies as a human being, though, everything's going to be fine. And Tony's good at keeping secrets... or so he thinks. But maybe Steve knows him better than he knows himself. And just because Tony believes something, that doesn't make it the truth.

Reasons why I love it: I'm always down for a truth serum fic, and this one is absolutely lovely. Tony being a fan of Total Eclipse of the Heart makes me unreasonably happy, and I love how angsty his accidental confessions are. And of course, the Stony in this is wonderful. I love this fic so much, please go and read it!

Down to Zero

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 18,336 Tags: Temporary Amnesia, Extremis, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: After a battle against the Controller goes awry, Steve is bewildered and guilt-ridden when Tony begins to treat him exactly the same as he treats everyone else.

Reasons why I love it: Holy fuck, this fic is good. I love how guilty Steve feels about taking Tony for granted, and how he immediately knows that something is wrong with him, even when nobody else does. The resolution, once Tony gets his memories back, is fantastic and always puts a smile on my face. I adore this fic, and if you haven't read it yet, you absolutely have to!

Trust Fall

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 39,107 Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Coming in Pants

Summary: Tony needs someone who cares about him, bandages, a jacket, ibuprofen, dinner, a lasting romantic relationship, a nice time in bed, and assistance committing federal crimes. He gets them. In that order.

Reasons why I love it: Aaaah, give me all the feels!!! The hurt/comfort is incredible. Steve is so caring, and I want to wrap Tony up in blankets. And oh my god, the smut! It's everything I never knew I needed. This fic was an instant favorite for me, and I've probably read it twenty times since it came out. So yeah, if you haven't read it yet, please go and do that now, you won't regret it!

The Fall and the Rise

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 5,148 Tags: Fix-it, De-Serumed Steve, End of the World

Summary: After the Great Society incursion, the Illuminati refuse to destroy another world. When the next incursion looms, they go to await their deaths in peace. Tony ends up on the doorstep of the last man who ever wanted to see him. At least he's going to die at Steve's side.

Reasons why I love it: This one HURTS, but in a really hopeful way, if that makes sense? The angst is superb, and I love how the bitterness can't quite overshadow the affection they still have for each other. This fic stuck with me for a long time after I read it, so I hope you go and experience it for yourself.

And in Your Head It's Worse

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 30,204 Tags: BDSM, Scene Gone Wrong, Aftercare

Summary: Tonight is Steve and Tony's anniversary. And since they have the night off, it's the perfect time for Steve to tie Tony to the bed and drive him out of his mind, until Tony can barely remember his own name. It is definitely not the perfect time for Ghost to attack Stark Tower.

Reasons why I love it: This fic explores subspace and especially subdrop in a really compelling way. I love how Sine created the perfect awful situation for Steve and Tony to be in, only to fix it with the fluffiest fluff to ever fluff. It's lovely, and cements its status as one of my all-time favorite comfort fics. I love it so much, and I bet you will too!

[avelera]

So I never really commented on the "Loki" show on here very much, even though I watched it, for a few reasons.

I found the first season visually beautiful but spiritually hollow and ultimately uninteresting. My connection to Loki was through his story as an Asgardian, his relationship with Thor and Odin and the others. I was prepared for the possibility that the show would focus elsewhere, by necessity, but I was always facing a similar uphill battle to liking it as I did the Winter Soldier show: the relationships I wanted to see more of (Steve/Bucky, Thor & Loki) weren't going to be there in favor of new side characters and my heart just wasn't really in it. But I gave it a chance.

The bigger issue was this: I fucking hate magical policing agencies as a plot point. Corporate organizations tasked to control time, or magic, or stop normal people from learning about magic, blah blah blah, I hate them. I find them immensely boring. Part of it is because I tried to write one once for NaNo in college! I understand the appeal! But they are just deeply, deeply boring to me as a concept. They are overplayed and tired and dull. Loki's TVA would have to have been something truly exceptional to win me over and then it was the whole point of the show and it wasn't exceptional, just the trope played straight and I just... wilted with disinterest.

I also hate mid-20th century aesthetics. Truly despise them. I hate the orange decor and the brown suits and the atomic era gigantic room-sized computers. It's kitchys and awful and I loathe it with my entire being. It repels me. So when the TVA had that aesthetic and the TVA was core to a story about a Norse god, you can perhaps begin to see the problem.

I loved Sylvie's actress. I loved the idea of Sylvie. I loathed the Sylvie plotline. Why don't we know more about what her life was like as a Loki? Did she have a relationship to the Asgardians ever? Why aren't Loki and Sylvie being constantly teased for being narcissists at best and incestuous at worst if they show any interest in each other? I loathed that romance, I found it gross and hollow and uninteresting and cheap. I was so glad when S2 seemed to drop interest in it.

Look, at a certain point, I just accepted that I'm not the target audience. It wasn't the Loki show I was hoping for, something more akin to Journey into Mystery for example. It barely acknowledged Loki's mythological roots, his actual magical abilities which on numerous occasions would have far outclassed the threats they faced with weird TVA technology, and just... look, it wasn't for me, a mythology buff. I just didn't like it or what it was going for.

This isn't to say it was bad! Just that it was absolutely stacked against my personal tastes in its aesthetic and story choices about 3/4 of the time.

But I did watch the whole thing. And I loved the visuals of the ending sequence in S2.

I hope this means if Loki returns, the door is open for a more magical, mythologically informed Loki. I hope he returns! I hope that just being on his magical time throne doesn't mean he's stuck there but that either his variants, or his ghost, or him puppeting his own variants or whatever can continue to interact with the timeline. I think it's such a magical mystical set up that it's very likely to be possible. it's magic! They can do anything!

But for the love of all the Norse gods, if I never see that hideous cliche TVA again it will be too soon. Sorry, Mobius, you were fun and charming and I loved seeing what the Lokius shippers cooked up, but I hate your work place so much it made me want to claw my own eyes out.

[ruleroftheimps]

Enter password – – > ************* Verifying… Welcome back sir. What would you like to do? – – > Create new audio recording Recording...

Vox here, to... future Vox I guess? Or whichever group got fed up with my games and finally offed me. Heh, good luck getting anything if it's the latter. Trust me... I'm not just good at finding secrets. Keeping them is a pretty valuable skill in my line of work. Although, I suppose if you figured out any and all important files are stored up here, you've already figured out one. Anyways, I finally, finally got a bit more information on this whole war, enough to finish that overview for new sinners Vel’s been nagging me to make. Honestly, it was pure luck. The old-timey prick was out of commission today, so a certain archangel had to come to our little meeting. Sure, Alastor’s much more enjoyable company than that stick in the mud, but I get a hell of a lot more information from Micheal. Well, considering the fact that I get nothing from Alastor, literally anybody would give me more, but the point still stands.

Really, it’s remarkable how much you can find out from a few, well-aimed questions. Yeah, Micheal doesn’t answer half of them, but his silence speaks loud enough. Add in the fact that he physically can’t lie, and my literal job is collecting and selling information, well…

From what I gathered, the war did in fact start because of a few angels who seceded from Heaven, like the rumors say. Something about missing the ‘creative spark’ Lucifer had given it, I don’t know. I really need to organize the information I have on the archangels at some point. Or get more. I know basically nothing. Fuck you, Micheal.

But the fallen angels- we call them Ars Goetia now- somehow managed to convince the hellborn and the sinners who were down there at the time to start a war with Heaven. Ugh, seriously, whichever of my ancestors thought that was a good idea, I really hope their death was torturous. This war is… well, saying it’s a nightmare is an understatement. It makes literal Hell look like a playground.

In any case, the war started, and Micheal took his armies to stop it before it got out of control. Yeah, he did a great job at that. Well, they did good in the beginning, but, towards the end of the war, for some reason, the portals in between Heaven and Hell got cut off. Back then, apparently, only one of the archangels knew how to make portals, and he got incapacitated temporarily somehow. I think his name is Akrasiel or something? Tsk, I really do need to get more information on Archangels. Fuck, Micheal’s a secretive bitch. Anything else, and I can find it out in a snap, but bring up his brothers, and he might as well be a brick wall.

Essentially, they got cut off from Heaven, and stuck down here. From what I gathered from the King for the low, low price of the angels’ battle plans for the next month, His Majesty and his son found Micheal a week or two afterwards, barely alive, even with his immortality, with all of his soldiers dead around him. Nobody knows who killed them, and Lucifer refused to say how they died. But, they took Micheal back to the palace, and, well… that’s where the stories don’t line up.

Lucifer claims that that night, Micheal assassinated Ramon, the Prince. He wasn’t lying as far as I can tell, and trust me when I say I can tell when he lies. Also… corpses are pretty solid evidence. But… assassination isn’t Micheal’s style, and, like I said, a lot can be gathered from his silence when he’s asked a question. Scars, injuries that never healed, shredded wings… he went through something, and it was bad. I can’t tell which story is the truth, and honestly? I don’t want to know. Knowing things is my whole job, but… I’m pretty sure I won’t like the answer either way.

No matter what happened, the war got so much worse. Demons who had stayed out of the fight joined the war in outrage, and Micheal’s immortality was the only thing that helped him survive. On the other hand, the angels were furious at the slaughter of their entire army, and they doubled down. The Exorcists, a new group of angels specialized to kill as many demons as possible, were created, while Micheal left Heaven in a self-inflicted exile, with quite a few angels and even some demons following him. And, hey, that’s where we get our original three sides of the war. Or, as I like to call them, the original three e’s, because they all have different goals.

Eliminate. The demons, who want to eliminate all the angels.

Exorcize. The angels, who want to exorcize all the demons.

And enlighten. Micheal and his followers, who want it to stop. Or, well, wanted. I’m pretty sure that, nowadays, Micheal’s much more obsessed with revenge, which… yeah, I’m not touching that mess if you paid me. Trust me, people have tried. No.

Two hundred something years ago, the King and Queen had another kid, Charlie. Sweet kid, too sweet, really, for somebody who was born in the middle of a war. She started her whole thing. ‘Enrichen’ as I call it. She basically took over Micheal’s original role as peacekeeper, but… with a lot less sway with the angels, and just… people in general. It’s… not going well to say the least. Seriously, a hotel? Outside of Temptation? Yeah... that's going to work.

Oh, and of course there are the Overlords. Ugh, them. They’re just idiots who just want to ‘endure’ the fight, hoping that it will end soon. No? It’s been going on for centuries? You should try to enjoy the limited time you have. Well, that’s what we say, and it’s the motto of Gluttony. Or, at least, what was Gluttony.

Temptation. The best place in Heaven or Hell for any soul looking for a good time. I’m pretty damn proud of it too. It’s… well, amazing doesn’t do it justice. Whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want it, it’s there. All seven deadly sins are shown pretty clearly here, and it’s the closest thing anybody- angel or demon- will get to a true Heaven while this fight is on.

And, well, if it’s easier for me to learn everything there is to learn here, that’s my business, isn’t it?

– – > End recording Ending recording... Save to files? – – > Y Saving...

~*~ (Hello there if you made it down here! This is the first thing I'm posting for an AU I came up with, called the Eternal War AU because I am bad at naming things lol. Lore will be explained either in posts like this where Vox is making audio/text files and oneshots. I may try drawing ref sheets at some point for the major characters/affiliations, but that's a big if. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this, and, if you are interested, feel free to ask questions!) Eternal War AU Next

[rametarin]

I hate it here.

Communicating when I don't feel well is absolutely pointless when I live with a fucking delusional narcissistic piece of shit. No matter what my symptoms or how I'm feeling unwell, it's always whatever stupid bullshit she has on her mind at the time.

"Oh you feel sick [in this way]? You must just be hot. Lets do something about the heat. Because clearly your problem is you're just hot. You don't have a problem, you're just hot. It's easily solved by spending no money and doing nothing, you just have to deal with the heat."

The air conditioner is on, it's only 70F in the house, and there's a fan blowing in my room, you fucking psychopath. I tell you I'm feeling unwell with breathing problems, you proceed to ignore my actual symptoms and then turn the AC off the dry setting.

And it has always been like this. It doesn't fucking matter what the illness or the problem is, it has to be whatever she wants it to be or it doesn't exist. She's quite sincerely one of those fucking assholes that saw Oprah Winfrey's "Power of Positive Thinking" and The Secret type bullshit and decided she could bend the universe backwards to make it whatever she wanted it to be, if only she gave into her delusions and tried to force reality to be whatever she wants. Just, trying to browbeat the universe.

I absolutely hate women like this, because only a sheltered being can think this way. To be a man that thinks this way, you have to have a certain degree of wealth and people working under you that feel the heat and friction and destruction before it gets to you, to insulate yourself from consequences. If you're a woman with men around you, you have people between you and the consequences of your actions that are socially obligated to do the shit you aren't on the hook to do. And that translates to someone in more of a moderator position that can try and stubbornly close their eyes and "BLAHBLAHBLAH UNIVERSE IT'S A CERTAIN WAY I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and think they're somehow beating back causality and entropy, while the men around them are burning alive.

We could stop spending money on frivolous shit and she could help me. She chooses instead to buy troves of bullshit that will rot in a week and refuses to buy or invest in anything else. But if I have any spending cash on me, suddenly my money goes into HER expenses. And there's fuckall I can do about it but go live by myself in a fucking gutter. I can't afford to leave, but I can't make any money staying. It is MARGINALLY safer than living in a ditch in any season but I can't make any progress while here.

And she refuses to stop buying enormous piles of shit for the simple reason she's too proud and indignant that SHE would have to help ME. From her perspective, she's supposed to have access to all my income and then if she spends it, I'm unable to escape. I can't make income in my condition until I'm well. She refuses to help me get well, for the simple fact that if I have to do it, then I'm on the hook for thousands of dollars of medical debt that I need a hole to live in to save money to pay off. Which she intends to pioritize herself first in my spending, so I'd be stuck paying TWO FORTUNES on minimum wage.

Despite my vocabulary and despite having nigh infinite space to write, I can't quite verbalize just how much I despise this cunt. I'll be happy after she dies of natural causes and she's no longer a pain in my ass. She has deliberately destroyed my life, my entire life, just for vanity and pride. Just, over and over again, chronic and sustained. Unfailingly. Choosing to be a fucking monster when she could just fucking stop at any point. But having absolute control and a noose around my neck and the fucking abyss if I try and just fucking leave is how she's decided to control my life. Threatening me with homelessness and implying she'll trump up stories about fake ass domestic abuse just to sic the state on me if I try and up and leave.

This worthless bitch uses denial as a weapon to manipulate everybody, including herself.

[sonic06apologist]

I can't sleep cause no work life ruining my sleep schedule and so why not just talk about traumatic thing in my life that I can't stop thinking about rn idk maybe getting it out will help. This isn't a new story I think the long mutuals know about this. My brother has been on my mind for some reason, haven't talked to him in almost a decade but I'm thinking about our last time ever seeing each other. He is a dumbass that joined the marines. he got back from a tour in the middle east and was visiting me and my parents. this was my last year of college i believe. I still remember that night, i was just trying to play some games and he decided to join me and just say the most racist shit in front me. Like oh no shit the marines made him worse than he already was. Like he was doing this to try and get a rise of me which i fell for again and just asked him "hey, can you like not say all this racist stuff when you're around me? I don't care if you do it with your buddies but I just don't like hearing that kinda stuff man" like I asked him nicely and all he did was call me a fuckin pussy so I just said whatever and decided to walk away. But he just follows me and keeps calling me a pussy while i try to just go to my room and be left alone. Like I make it to my room and just yell at him "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU FUCKING MURDERER" Hey we all know he is on here I feel this site is the only place I can talk about that part without everyone thinking its my fault cause i hurt a marines feelings. Anyways he did snap and scream at me "ILL FUCKING KILL YOU" as he tried to then choke me to death, like damn you're just proving my point... My mom rushed in and tried to pull him off of me and he decks my mom and thats the last thing i remember before passing out (if you cant tell I lived) my dad was able to pull him off of me and literally threw him out of the house using his 3rd amendment right. My brother has been my own personal bully my entire life and has physically (and mentally) harmed me all my life but never tried to kill till like then. But i wasn't even mad about that I was furious he hit our mom. Like you fucker she spoiled you your whole life you fucking brat. I have told myself I would never speak to him again until he apologized for hitting our mom. Well he's too late for that. I just got distracted looking at fightpads for a moment cause damn those are cool controllers.... Like right now not in the past. Anyways My brother became estranged after that. Idk I'm just like thinking about rn, Moment just stuck in my head. Sometimes I wonder what if he tries to reach out to me and apologize. Who knows. Im just here to vent from a decades long trauma event.