#AND NOW PUPPETS OTHERS AND TRAUMATIZES EM IN SUCH

[that-unspeaking-sky-kid]

Soo.. uh..

i dont know if ive shown this gal around before, but,

do yall know this gal? Lord of Trickery?

okay long story short she supposedly had like.. three parents and used to be me but got possessed by ED so now its ED controlling her body.

But

Uh

THAT WAS OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO?? SOMEHOW???

And, well. I remade her. I made the whole think on the old model besides the tail, horns, katana (which was made by my beautiful wife @mrs-mouse-skykid) and wing hair clip.

so here's this silly comic

i didnt get a good proper photo of her, but,

I've never been so proud.

I might allow you guys to ask her questions n such.

[pretoriafics]

Therapy sessions with the devil

I'd did this request yesterday on my Portuguese blog, and I thought that you guys would love it!

Anonymous asks: Y/N is a therapist who works for Vought and is doing a few evaluations on the Super.

Word count: 1.806 Contain: Therapist!Reader x Homelander Warnings: Mention of sexual violence, mention of serial killers, mention of cases of children with psychopathy, mental disorders. +16 only Versão em português aqui  PART 2 THE BOYS MASTERLIST

Your profession was gratifying.

You loved the idea of helping people, getting to know each other better, and getting them to learn to deal with life's challenges. For you, being a kind of "confidant", where people could talk about their lives without any judgments, was an honor and your purpose. You believed that it would make the world a better place.

However, it also had its burdens. Some things were difficult to hear, even for you with all your knowledge and professional background. Patients who suffered from sexual violence, for example, demanded of you a stomach that you were not always able to have. It was something you talked to your therapist about, and you kept a mantra in mind: After all, you were still human, and it was okay to feel that way.

And when Vought invited you to work as a therapist for The Seven, you went nuts. It was the chance of a lifetime!

Or, at least, this was what you thought at the beginning.

It was not uncommon for you to hear things that made your stomach a little sick, just like when The Deep told you about the way he “welcomed” Starlight. You felt nauseous but, on the outside, remained impassive, just watching him as a silent request to continue to talk.

All of them were, simply, not only media products but also puppets of the advertising world. You already had some political patients, and in fact, you thought The Seven was a similar case: Both went to that market with the intention, many times, to help people. However, they ended up corrupted in the middle of the road, forgetting their whole purpose in helping others.

You saw a point in common between The Seven: Everyone, with perhaps the exception of Starlight, was too worried about their own egos to be real heroes. They were all too narcissistic.

But Homelander was the worst of them.

The childhood phase was the most important part of a person's life. A traumatic childhood could lead to a troubled adult, as in the case of Mary Bell and Beth Thomas. Homelander's case was no different: his non-affectionate childhood, being raised as a laboratory rat, was the bigger reason to make him that kind of man.

Although at the same time you were fascinated about to study a mind like that - since one of the reasons why you did psychology would be to unveil the secrets of the human mind - each therapy session was daunting and made you rethink your job at Vought.

In short, you were interviewing a serial killer. Easily one of the most cruel and unhealthy.

"Good morning, Homelander." Your voice was soft, just like the smile you gave to the super who just sat on the couch.

"Good morning, Doctor." He returned the smile to you, but the smile on his own way: The corners of your mouth pulled to the side in a smile that you recognized as fake.

"So..." You put your hands on your knee, looking at him with the best receptive look you could pretend. There, in that office, your sessions with Homelander made you feel you deserved an Oscar "How was your week?"

“Well…” He lay down on the couch, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, and his hands joined in front of his stomach “Nothing new. In fact, he had a little incident with Maeve. Sometimes she is so… pathetic. ”

"What happened?"

It took a while for Homelander to actually get some confidence in you. In fact, he only started telling you things in detail when he realized he could get something out of the sessions. They were productive to him, they made him think. You didn't know if you were thanking God for getting something out of him, or if you should cursing yourself because of the horrors he tells you.

"Maybe you saw something about the 37 Flight on the news."

"The one who had been captured by the terrorists?"

"Exactly! Maeve and I had to rescue the plane. We managed to take down the terrorists, but when I killed the last one, in the Pilot's cabin, I hit the plane's controls with the lasers. And then, the flight was doomed. I told Maeve that our job was done and we should leave, but she was reluctant. He wanted me to save the passengers! ” He laughed, but a natural one. "Can you believe that?"

Oh, it was going to be a long therapy session...

"And what happened next?"

“What did she want me to do? That I fly 137 times from the plane to land? Ah, pathetic, pathetic! ” He shook his head, clearly humorous. "Now, just imagine: You are on a flight with 137 people shouting 'Help, Homelander!', While your stupid partner insists that you should do something to save everyone. I was losing patience so I threatened everyone with my eyes, and they finally settled down. I don't blame them, I mean, they are so vulnerable. They are bugs! ” He looked at you, the corners of his mouth pulled in a fake smile. "No offense."

Homelander was a cold-blooded killer. Not only, but like Ted Bundy, he was a narcissist. He liked the feeling of power that invaded his body when he saw that people feared him, and when he felt that he had the power to decide whether that person would live or not. He didn't mind if killing people just for fun was against the law. Homelander didn't care about the law or any kind of rules. Furthermore, just as Bundy believed he was fully capable of defending himself in his court's judgment and did not need lawyers, Homelander thought he was an incarnate God walking among the 'bugs', simply because he had powers.

"And how do you feel about Maeve?"

“She bothered me a little with the drama on the plane, but that's okay. I am sure that after I spoke to the journalists, near the wreckage of the flight, she understood. This is all going to be an excellent opportunity to make our presence in the army happen. ”

A sociopath.

Empathetic behaviors aren't part of him. He was unable to have that feeling. Self-centered, Homelander was unable to love. The relationship he had with Stiwell, for example, was far from loving. He didn't feel it, quite the opposite: Homelander had a feeling of possession with her. She was his, and nobody else's.

A doubt hammered in your head: Homelander was intending to drop the plane? Your stomach was upset, you felt bad about that therapy session. How could Vought leave someone like him in The Seven?

The answer was simple: They didn't care. Homelander was profitable, and that was all that mattered.

That was one of the times when you thanked God that Homelander was self-centered enough to lie on the couch and just think about your own life, instead of analyzing you and realizing that you were completely terrified. It was as if a misstep, a wrong word, was going to cost his life.

And you would end that today.

You conducted the therapy session normally. In the end, you shook hands with Homelander as you always did and closed the door. Tears invaded your face as you thought of each life that was lost in vain on that flight, and, worse, you were sure that Maeve would tell you about the flight at her therapy session, early next week. In an attempt to calm down, you took some coffee and sat down in front of your MacBook. There, sipping coffee, you wrote your resignation letter.

Alright. You were free.

Or at least this was what you thought.

 * * *

Another week has started, and the fact that you worked at Vought made you get a more comfortable office, in addition to increasing your service price. You were ending your day. Your last patient had left the office, and you were about to go home when you heard a familiar voice from your couch.

"I miss you in the tower."

Homelander looked at you with his pairs of sick blue eyes, his fake smile, and his murderous hands behind his body. He was standing next to the couch, and you felt your whole body freeze. A lump formed in your throat, and your hands vibrated in pure dread.

So he would kill you there? In your office?

Trying to take control of the situation, you faked a slight smile.

“Sorry, Homelander. I didn't saw you here. Need something?"

"Actually, I do." He started walking towards you slowly. "I didn't want to end our sessions, so I came to ask you what our new schedule is going to be."

You narrowed your eyes.

"I thought Vought was going to hire someone else to work with The Seven in my place."

“In fact, they put an incompetent in your place. I really prefer that we continue where we left off. ” He stopped in front of you with his smile, his eyes emanating pure insanity "I like our therapy sessions."

“I'm glad that you like my job and that you appreciate our results, Homelander” You gave him a smile, but inside you were still in pure dread “But I don't have appointments available. My schedule filled up easily after I came to this new office. ”

“Oh, but I'm sure you can fit me in your schedule. I can pay you well. ”

How to say no to Homelander without putting your life at risk?

You walked over to your tablet, on your desk. You took it in hand and slid your finger on the screen, analyzing awhile. You didn't need him to tell you that you would be paid well. In fact, you were fully aware of that. The point was that you could exchange all the money in the world to be at peace, without having to deal with Homelander. Without much choice, you concluded that you would reserve a single day for your therapy sessions with him. That way, your head wouldn't get so tired when you still had to deal with other patients.

“Are you available on Friday morning? At nine."

He nodded, giving the same smile he did when he achieved something. One of pure contentment.

"Of course!"

"Great so." You typed 'Homelander' in the space corresponding to the hour. You put the tablet down on the table, next to your MacBook “There, it's done. Friday, at nine in the morning. ”

“Ah, perfect! Thank you. Have a good night."

"Good night, Homelander."

He walked over to your balcony. With a jump, he flew through the sky. You lay on your couch, terrified. Would you never get rid of him?

All that was left for you now was to be the therapist of the incarnate Devil.

[tempural]

More oc octobers I neglected to upload here. These are my main characters. The original universe was based on rock and metal genres, but it's expanded to encompass basically every mundane character I've created in other cities. Get ready for some longass explanations.

80's-90's rock OCs:

PUSSYWHIP: Los Angeles. shock rock, cock rock, glam punk. Formed from the ashes of THE PENETRATORS when Vicky was kicked out for being an insane control freak. Vicky VD on backing vox and lead guitar, Angus is puppeteered as the "frontman" on rhythm guitar and vox. Eddie "Dirty Sanchez" is the deadman on bass. Skeets on drums.

THE PENETRATORS: Los Angeles. arena rock, cock rock, pop metal. Originally formed with Vicky on guitar, he was replaced with Benny and Jet after the spaghetti incident. Soon after, their sound went more radio-friendly and they found more success than Vicky's future ventures. Jizzy on Vox, Johnny on rhythm guitar. Benny "Donut" and Jet on lead and rhythm guitar. Jack on drums.

ANGELRAPER: Tampa, Florida. speed/thrash/death metal. This ill-named band was created by Tomathan when he was in high school track with Ricky and Alexi. He couldn't think of anything more sacreligious than an angel who assaults the children of god. They're still more of a garage band than a serious endeavor, but they have fun in the storage shed they call a practice room. Tommy "Angelraper" on vox and bass. Alexi "Corpsehumper" on guitar. Ricky "Pretty Ricky" "Tacofucker" (it was late and a dare ok) on drums.

90's mundane guys:

Prophet and Priest. Prophet used to be a musician in the 70's-80's. He was injured in an accident (hairspray, fire), and became very depressed and traumatized. Stopped making music. When Priest was a kid, he was Prophet's biggest fan. Now he's all grown up with a job n' shit, and he finds his favorite musician living in a dumpster next to his workplace. Homosexuality and cult-like brainwashing ensues. Nice!

2000's mundane guys:

Ollie and Basile and Liv. Boston, Brookyln, or San Francisco depending on my mood. Ollie and Liv are the same person in different bodies. Basile is their grouchy neighbor. You should know them by now. You can read more about them on my site.

Bobert and Chad. San Francisco. They go to SFSU and room together. Bobert works at Urban Outfitters, dresses as an 80's goth (he was born in the wrong decade dammit!!!) and is a creative writing major who writes erotic fanfiction as a hobby. Chad is a computer science major. They don't understand each other much, but they're good friends.

Ye Olde Dayz

Witchhunter and Witch. Somewhere in olde Germany. The witchhunter killed the witch's family. The witch reprogrammed him and repurposed his body to serve her. The witch is a necromancer whose power is drawn from her own blood, but her young body doesn't hold enough blood to revive her family into horrible undead minions yet. The witchhunter was eventually reborn as Bobert in its next life.

I forgot what tags I use for my own characters on this blog, so I'll tag 'em all.

[muffindaddystyles]

𝐽𝐴𝑆𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐸 𝑃𝐼𝐶𝐾𝐸𝑅 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑃𝑅𝐼𝑁𝐶𝐸.

"I know ye' love 'em." He smiles and you didn't know how to response. He hugs you closer to him. For some odd reasons you let him. Inhaling, the rose scent that was kissed to the nape of his neck. He takes you to His rooms. Situating you on his bed. Sitting beside you and taking your hand warning them up. You puts your head on his shoulder and he glances down at you, leaning closer your mushk attracting him. Your enchantness calling him closer but this's not who he's. He retreats back smooching a wet kiss to your forehead.

Authors Note; Everything written down below is based on fictional fantasies. In no case it's related to real life, in my sheer excitement I've perfectly imagined Harry as the prince of all of our hearts. To give your imaginations a roller coaster I've created a moodboard, I'd love!! if you'll give your feedbacks (it means alot to me) and appreciate it. All my love, Moji! Part 2

i.

Amber scent of soil beneath the cream skin of soles, clouds flourished to baby blues then rolled the cotton ruffles of the flimsy gown with themselves. A choir of tinsy emblem sparrows sang songs dancing in the rhythm sat on the branch of oak. Snowflaked downey petals of jasmine perked up at the sweet cooe and they caressed themselves to the tips of your soft fingers as you greeted them in the early morning dew. A basket on your hip, collecting fresh jasmines and the pastel cotton gown of yours sticking to your thighs with each step and pluck.

The tangerine sun winks at you from the tea fields far and kisses your skin shying away when you shushed it to be busy in your work. Then you were done with delicate flowers pilled in a basket and your under skirt poofed when you flopped onto the mother earth, laughing to yourself causing the furry rabbits to gallop to their nearest shelter.

The cackles resonated to your cottage and your curious tumbirous little sister with doe eyes that of yours and gorgeous hair that of your mother, flights like a dove to where you're sprawled upon.

"Ani's coming back home." She informs you sitting beside you and the happy news of your father's return to village from a business trip to another village makes your spine erect in excitement. The crown of jasmines you were intervining together falling in your lap and when you ask her again she bobbed her little head in utter vigour, you wrap your arms around her petite tiny figure spinning her around making her squeal.

The longing of your Anni's affection and the yearn of his embrace will soon vanish to joy and warmth after four months of departure.

♧♧

The wind bubbled to the paths of Clisora a city where springs are luxurious with the bustling trade market of satins and silks. Winters warmed up with down town inns and brothels, summers for enjoying the heat of the weather and the berries riped to core. The nation men are happy and thriving even though their King's the cruelest person alive. But, it doesn't matter to them. The whispers of Castles are none of their business.

His own son's loathes him for their father killed his own brothers for the sake of throne.

In the middle of frozeness the heavy thuds of footsteps startled Harry in his chambers, silken beige sheets damp under his neck and he cranes it with horror as the ginormous wretched shadows lurked in the corridors of his rooms. He throws his brocatelle robe on his bare upper body, stepping outside he follows the thumps of devil and his stomach eats his heart alive when he sees the sight of his older brother's rooms.

The executioners leaving his room with none sympathy because a King's command could never be denied upon. Harry's older brother lifeless with ring marks of noose around his neck his only fault was that he exposed his father's evilness to the inner courts.

To that day, everything crumpled to Harry's feet. The darkness follows him around even to the gardens, the memories of his little self fighting with a wooden sword with his Api his big brother never allowed him to sleep.

His GrandMother the Royal highness and the Lady of Castle that has an eye on every chore going inside the high walls, notices the sadness of her only grandSon gifting him presents from the all corners of the world.

Nothing lulled Harry's heart to tranquility till the evening of ending winters when his grandmother calls him to her spacious chamber to show him new sea of life saving luxurious gifts, in the last corner his eyes fell over the painting framed with golden carving.

She knew it was a cupid arrow straight to his heart. He couldn't resist but to give a smile to her and the night servants placed the painting in his rooms.

He stares at the beauty hidden in every splotch of paint, the young girl portrayed on it seeming as if made of milk, Harry stares right into her soft irises and his heart gives a pump of warm blood seeing her cherry lips. The jasmine crown on her shiny hair gives a blooming fragrance to Harry every night he sleeps and the lamb in her embrace makes Harry smile to her with closed eyes.

"She makes m' heart 't peace." He told his Highness truly and she squeezed his hand feeling good to see his grandson himself again.

"M' lion. M' s'happy to see you happy again. Her name's Y/N. She lives in the village of Serene the potraitist of Royal family went there and found 'er tradin' jasmines."

The Royal Mother gets what she wants. She can do anything for her power, the King's sick and Harry's her only puppet left. She'd use him to every finest. She's in so wrong though, Harry moist his tongue with her name testing how it feels coming from the core of his heart.

How she's like to touch in real? Is she like confettie berries that leaves stains at the tips? What's her voice like when she speaks? I'm sure it's honey dripping and succulent with kindness. Harry thinks, palms flat under his head and his book of poetry open on his chest. Stars tinkling from his golden window pane and a future of millions suns waiting for him.

♧♧

You sniffle with blood pumping into fearful vessels of your heart. Tucking your little sister under your armpit you promised her you wouldn't let a finger harm her as the loud heartbreaking screams feebled to the wooden cabinet you're hiding in.

Everything happened in the blink of eye. Momenta ago you were into your Anni's arms when a ship halted at the port and it was a chaos where ever they stepped leading them to your home, for you. Your mother fell to the feet of those black leather dressed merciless men but they stepped on her pure gowns approaching for Anni.

"Where's Y/N? We know she's hidin' somewhere in thy boundary." You stomach eats your heart alive from a revelation of your name from a stranger's tongue. "'M not goin' to tell ye'." Anni grits with rage while your mother sobs loudly the jasmines in her hair dying out of sadness.

The leader of those cruel men shoves your anni past, "too late for that." He retorts evily and you shrink back trying to protect your little sister Alexa. Prayers on your lips, mercy in your tears and before it reached to skys a grime hand snatches your arm yanking you out painfully.

Your glass features dulls into pity and you flinches harshly when he grabbed your jaw snapping it to meet his eyes.

"What's in ye' that's not in other girls?" He grumbles and when father shouts to leave his daughter they trap him back. "Please, leave me." You beg with innocent frightened eyes.

"Royal Highness's, order." He tuts with none sympathy. You try to escape free from his strong hold but he throws you at his shoulder taking you with him.

You kicked and screamed asking for your Anni as he runs behind you trying to save his precious stone, his moon, and his beat of heart but it's in-vain. You watch your parents falling helplessly to the land you've played upon for years in traumatic shock and confusion. Your heart as if none existed, as if it bursted to stardust.

♧♧

You stir from your darkness into real word. It was a dream, oh goodness it was. Your soul consoles you but the reality lies in the other hemispheres as you found yourself away from your loved ones. Mother, Anni and Alexa. Nobody's with you and it's just rotting walls, a beacon of disappointment and a wrap of dirtinnes around your body.

It's an alehouse. When you descended downstairs your abductors were there with hall full of other manwhores. Getting themselves entertained from women in veils and some of them naked. You jump on the opportunity and try to run when a men puts his sword on your throat. You knock his shins and taking his sword in your control making him lurk on it's tip.

"Help me!! These bloody men abducted me under duress." You crane your head in every direction when the hall boomed with laughter. There's no escape now, it's their territory, their men everywhere. Your're alone with none of yours in a city of pitiless people. The sword clashes to floor ripping past through the wooden planks but the sound echoed from your heart, silver of it reflecting you.

♧♧

Everyone's rude here. They gave you a bath with a bunch of other girls and when you tried to put them into their places they'd bark a warning. You're like everyone else. But, the high salt marble walls of Palace, crystal diamond chandliers, sapphire velvet gold carved giant doors, hundreds of maids, cooks and the luxuries of this cold hearted Palace doesn't faltters you like them. Every minute in these walls where you can't see stars and blue skies is an agony for you. Home's waiting for you. Your mother singing your lullaby thinking you might come. You've lost count of the days and weeks.

You sleep with other concubines in the attic, while everyone giggles and gossips you write letters to your home before going to bed which's just a flimsy mattress on the wooden board. The butler in charge lined you all up ordering the coffiure to dress the new lassies. Satins and chiffona feels weird on your skin compared to the soft cotton gowns used to wear.

"Bow!" She barks hitting her thick jewel covered stick to floor. She shoves your head a little down to make you bow properly and what comes from inside the Royal's bedroom chambers throws you into fits of laughter.

A white Persian cat. Bow my arse. You cursed under your breath.

Sheba digs her nails into your forearm hissing loudly, "behave else I'll throw you in dungeons."

With eyes down you all entered inside the Royal Highness Rooms. She's sitting with high chin onto the lush divans, she sips her morning tea as everyone pays her their services.

You free yourself from Sheba's tight eye watch and falls to Mother Highness feet tugging at her gowns.

"Leave meh' for God's sake. I don't wan' to be here, please send me back home." You keep your head lowered and the Highness gestures the maids to stop when the approached to pull you back, "Forgive us our Highness, she's a hussy with a tongue of witch." Instead, you're bold and unfearful. The Highnes takes your chin and makes you look at her.

"My child. This's your home now. And if the nature wishes you'll have a bright future in this Palace." Anger boils in your veins. Hurt you looked at her in accuse yanking the hem of her gowns and standing your grounds.

"Ye'll are brutal creatures, whom fear their weakness!!! These crowns of yours 'ere made t' fall one day."

"Woman!" Sheba yells in warning pulling you back harshly as everyone gawks you, when the Highness leaves her seat the intimidating aura of her makes you shrink back a little.

"The escape out of this Palace's just death, you've options. Live how we say or get thrown into the sea." You huff with stinging eyes and just like that you're escorted out of the chambers.

♧♧

In the dim lights of night lamps you were writing another letter to Alexa when one of the maidens Lezabel entered into the attic with chin held high and every other lassie ran towards her ushering her to plush pillows.

"How was Your Highness's t'night? 'M sure he's handsome that of jammist of jams." They whisper ask her with gloating hearts and Lezabel looks at you in jealousy, burning heart knowing you're special for the prince. Lezabel just came from Prince rooms in the wee hours of night, she saw your portrait in his room. Prince didn't liked her being nosy and disrespectful to his space so he asked servants to escort her out.

"What's the Prince like?" You ask her too in curiosity and she laughs loudly leaning on her elbows. "He's old and fat with beard that of south long, when you look in his eyes you turn into stone. He eats the hearts of young girls like an ugly lion." Everyone suppresses their giggles knowing she's lying and that Prince's the cherriest of shining moon. You gasp praying to good that time never comes when you'll have to face him.

♧♧

Laila's leading you to another task handing you the Highness's cat and you smile down at her scratching her back as Laila talks. Suddenly someone calls her leaving you and Nilo alone.

You groan when Nilo gallops from your arms and climbs up the ridged stone wall when you efforts to get her back gripping the edge of stone, the wall grinds against the floor. You gasp in astonishment when it rotates to other side, stepping inside you were exposed to the mesmerising sight of garden with that of sky. There's wild turquoise sea under the white cemented broad railings of the balcony.

Jasmine scent sings your freedom after days of darkness, your head slowly rakes upto the vine and you chase after it. You settle your feet carefully climbing up each branch of vine lifting up your gowns. Goosebumps appearing on your bare thighs and a shiver shots in your spine as you tried to get a good hold on the other next branch.

Harry's behind you with a suppressed smile hands folded at back as he watches a girl trying to climb up a vine without a particular reason but he doesn't know, he doesn't know you're trying to escape. His lips parts as your foot slips and before you were about to fall he catches you securing your head protectively tumbling to ground with you beneath his taught chest.

He stares you. It couldn't be real? Could it? Those mahogany eyes and shine of pearls in them. Those cherry lips and plump cheeks of baby. She's not real but another dream of his heart and soul. His jade irises flickers between yours and you stare him back in confusion, he's pretty with a carved jaw, heart-shaped toffee lips, stardust eyes and chestnut curls tickling his high cheekbones.

"What are ye' doin' here?" His voice that of honey dripping and you grunt shoving him off of you covering your legs with your gown and standing up asking him angrily, "are you goin' to tell them?" He's still in awe of your beauty. You're way more gorgeous than that of portraits, he can't belive his lover, his soulmate's one feet away from him.

You walk towards the balcony looking down the sea waves as ever beautiful that of crystal "who?" He asks with puppy eyes and you turn sharply to his front, "Sheba, and other witches." . "will you tell 'em?." He shakes his head in denial with soft eyes and furrowed brows, his heart racing fast and nerves jittery.

"What's behind this wall? Can I escape?"

"Why d'ye want t' escape?" He asks with a loom of sadness in his chest. She hurriedly paces back to him.

"Because of Prince. They took me by force!" Harry's still in utter bewilderment, "Ugly and fat, Prince."

"Ugly and fat?" Harry whispers to himself frowning awfully. "They'll feed me to him."

"He eats the heart of young girls." She says in fright and despair. If Harry could touch her he'd have consoled her in his arms long ago.

"There's a girl who survived, she didn't look him in eyes. He smelled her and went away?" She's uncertain with eyes looking dead straight into Harry's for the very first time and it slashed his breath away. Your eyes like a walk in garden of heaven, the summer river of black-mud and moss of skies.

You again rushed to the balcony, "don't ever look down there." Harry tells you caringly joining you at the higher deck "you'll fall in the waves."

"Then tell me what should I do? Help me." If Harry could he'd, but this Palace's not even his's.

"I think s' ye' should go, if they knew you disappeared they'll put you in a bag and throw you in sea." This would never happen in his presence. When he's alive he wouldn't let a soul touch you but he's saying this to protect you for the time being.

Tears brinks in your eyeline. Your bottom lip wobbling and Harry's thumb itches to caress it and kiss it, "A bag?...and sea? No!" You cry sitting on the small stair step. A sigh left Harry's chest and he sits beside you under the flower and grapevine. "I want to go back to my mother, father and Alexa."

"Don't be scared..." He reassures you placing his hand on your shoulder the first skin to skin touch blossoming his soul, "no one can hurt ye' while I exist, Y/N." You pushes your head away from your arm peering up at him with teary eyes. Then in an instant pushing his hand away terrified, "How did you know meh' name?" His eyes widen but he overcomes his panic blurting quickly.

"Didn't ye' say about Sheba? She told me..." He quirks up a smile gazing down then to her with a scrunch of his nose, "...she told me a lupus monsterous lupus came to Palace."

You scoff with raised brows, "she's the monsterous ones!" Harry chuckles gingerly.

"'M tryin' to protect myself." Harry wishes he could be able too protect his flower, his lover from the shadows of this helll. You turn closer to him whining with sadness, "save me, please. They'll take me again." Harry gazes her moon like face with pain and helplessness. "It's hell here."

He takes her pudding hands in his's looking at her sincerely and bringing her to feet with him, "I'll help you. But, now ye' should go....there are alot of girls we'll find a way befo' your turn." You retorts but still agrees not knowing how your trust and faith in him grew in just a first meet.

"What's ye'r name?" You ask him and he smiles circling the hilt of your thumb, "Leo." He lies. You beam back taking his name.

"Why're ye' goin' to help me, Leo?" He gives a lopsided smile that covets dimples into his creamy cheeks.

"Becaus I also want to run away from this Palace..." You gasp. "Did they took you here unwillingly too?" When your train of questions took a depart he spoke in a serious voice with a tinge of gentleness he only holds for you.

"Go back to attic, I'll find you again." With sad eyes you leave him and he grinned to himself foolishly, butterflies swooning around his ribcages and the noor inside the shell of his skin glowing after ages. Only for you. Just because of you.

♧♧

King's at the dying bed and the Highness knows that he's a few days guest. You're an enthronment gift from Higness to Prince when he'll be throned, their plans were to beautify you in luxuries and get you laid with him on daily nights till he becomes the King and the old one dies. Then use you to make the Prince their puppet so that the control of Country that's in Highnesses's hold never floods away from her.

Unfortunately, he has seen you already and asked His Highness about you explaining that you refreshed his heart and satisfied him like a beacon he was always waiting for, so she ordered that tonight it's your turn to go to his rooms.

They weave your hair with tongs, strokes your neck with mushk and reddened your lips with cherry balm, dressing you in teal gowns and pushing the string of your corsets like you're a rag doll. Tears falls down into the valley of your chest as your reflection strikes in the mirror.

Time slows down, the jasmines burns into ashes and the pearls hides into depth of oceans as they walked you towards a long corridor with lanterns and curtains of sheer chiffon along way.

"C'mon lady..." The servant guides you not caring of your tears, the sadness and the misery on your features, "..we're at the golden pathway right now."

"Pathway of strength, power, love and happiness..." You hiccup with weekend knees, "to the gardens of paradise and the exists to the sea of hells..." Your mind gives you a courageous push and you turned to go back.

"Leave me! I don't want this!" But, Sheba grabs your jaw and yanks you to her.

"What do you want then, death?" She glares.

"Either, sleep with with our Prince t'night or get buried into grave." She gives her a warned grime smile wiping your tears and patting your hair.

The lullaby of your mother lulls you and it filled your heart with more tears.

I sigh but you don't hear me.....My pearl......

The sheer long sleeves of your dress wooshed when the doors to the rooms opened slowly.

I cry but you don't pity me. I cry but you don't pity me......Come my daughter, love me back....

You strolled inside the luxurious bedrooms with blurred vision turning your back to face the bed away from the Prince sranding at the breezy balcony outside.

Swing the child for me, my daughter....

The lullaby resonates to end and you fall on your knees lowering your head down and promising to never look up at him. Your head dizzy, lower lip shaking out of fear and chest heaving with ragged breaths.

You try not to shut your eyes tight when the footsteps slowly approached you and when a long calloused hand came down for you, thumb taking your chin lovingly to make you look up at him you grab it and bite it with ever force of canines.

"Ow!" Harry grumbles gaining your attention and your heart falls in your tummy at the person infront of you.

"You?" Surprise, betrayal and bunch of lies. Harry closes his eyelids smiling gingerly and wetting his lips. Then everything from the past came crashing on you and it lowers your blood rush holding your vision.

You fainted falling into Harry's arms and he picked you bridal style laying you on the bed kissing your forehead, he frowns perpetually stroking your hair and regretting the descions of his life, not knowing when the sleep invaded his senses. If he had not been a promised this would have never happened to you.

♧♧

You woke up as if the sun that of paradise, sheets cool and bed that of silkworms but then you glances to your left sitting up with a gasp. Pulling your hair away from between unconscious Harry's fingers carefully. Finding your shoes when your eyes fell over a painting, you pushed away the piece of clothe on it startling when a hoarse voice came filled your ears.

"Did you like it?" You frown in offend facing him boldly.

"Did I like it?! Did I like it?!" You hits his chest with hard blows and with your shoes.

"I saw it at Highnesses's suite." He murmurs in apology.

"And there you gave orders to bring me!" You yelled not fearful that he's a Prince of the land you're at. "What am I?" "Am I a sheep or a horse?" "Am I olives or eggs?" You hold your tears and the screams.

"Talk to me! I said talk to me!!" You sobbed shouting at him blowing him with shoves and atlast he raised his voice speaking with gentleness at end.

"I didn't gave orders to bring ye'. I didn't even know you were comin', ye' 'ere a gift from Highnesses."

You stare him in disbelief, "a gift!?" ""M not a gift but a human!" "I've a family just like you."

He thins his lips, expression becoming taught as he listens you, eyes piercing fiercely.

"You're such an oppressor, you'll become an oppressing ruler!" You said furious at him. The words were like a on arrow ripping his heart because this's what he always feared of; to become like his dad.

"I'll run away from here, I promise." You throw the painting to floor striding away from him when he grabbed your elbow pulling you infuriatedly towards himself.

"Nobody can run away from this Palace." You huff yanking yourself away and leaving his rooms.

♧♧

Lezabel sits proudly on the plush pillows with her stuff scattered around and she calls you from far, "what?" You grunt. "Help me to move this stuff to special lady rooms."

"Help yourself." Your roll your eyes walking away and she follows you, "and why in the burnin' hell you can't help me?" She might burst from the way she can't fist you.

"Because nobody could ever force me to do anything." You say with chin raised and when she muttered something bad about you under her breath you lost it, "by the way weren't you cryin' last night, you came back in the wee of night. What happened Prince didn't liked sleeping with you?" You smirk at your blow and every lassie started whispering to eachother.

"No...She's lying because she's jealous. I came in the morning." She throws dagger at you but you didn't wavered.

"We'll ask Sheba then."

She remarks at this cockily, ".....don't even try young lady our Prince wouldn't even look at ye'r face." She hits your shoulder and you tighten your lips into a pout standing back tall again.

"I don't even like your Prince, he's a weak oppressor. He'll get nothing in the future!" You were in the middle of your burst when she slapped you hard across your cheek. In defence you knocked her down straddling her torso and hitting her equally. A jasmine picker young girl who was famous for her sweetness, politeness and kindness halted at this corridor of life just because of the vilness of her arounds.

When Harry's Mother the Second Highnesses asked for explanations you just shrugged and Lezabel rambled, "she made me an enemy because I entered seclusion at night, she even mocked me."

"She's lying!" You said loudly. "I did nothing, she attacked me!"

"Shut up, Lady!" "Don't speak without me' permission."

Mother favours Lezabel because she's chosen by her. She nods for her to speak.

"'M not pissed because she mocked me but for about things she said about our prince."

"Throw her in dungeon fo' she'd taste the punishment." Mother Highnesses commands to servants and you groan trying to get rid of their painful hold on you as they dragged you outside. "Don't!!" You scream digging the heels of your feet against the stoney floor to stop them but their power's a thunder storm to your blue rains.

"Please, I promise I didn't started it!" You thrash as they push you inside the pitch dark dungeon slamming the heavy wooden door at your face leaving you crying and begging.

Your head points in every direction afraid of calignosity and you shrink into a corner sobbing loudly, crouching your knees closer to your chest.

Your mind drifting to stardusts, and golden nebulas as your breath turned shallow to stillness, to numbness. Your body giving up, bowing to the visciousness of these walls at your last breath.

The sheer curtains blows letting the cool zephyr to caress Harry's curls. He's sitting at the oak desk which has his brother's poem carved on it in golden letters. He's carving a Red Beryl . A precious stone digged out from the springs. The stone reminds him of you, just like a pomegranate. Sour as if the blood dripping from the sword and sweet as the honey apple tarts.

He frowns when a particular breeze distress his heart and his sixth sense feels something's not right. He calls the servant and asks them for you.

"My Prince. She....Mother—" The servant hesitates not meet Harry's eyes. Harry stands up alert, his jaw set tight as he towers the poor lad.

"Mother Highnesses sent her to dungeons." One sentence's what it took for Harry to flee in resentment. He enters his mother rooms without a knock and she raises her chin smiling looking at her cub. "Ye' know mother she's meh lover, how could ye d'that t' meh?" He asks with dissapointed eyes. "You know that your grandmother and that girl's trying to trap, don't you?" But, he leaves her because you need him more than than the petty explanation.

♧♧

The lullaby of your mother rings in your ears. A mellow light crooning you to sleep as if your soul's touching the sky. After so long you see stary night doomed with lush tress around.

A cough escapes your lungs and you raise your arm to touch that sky, to grab those stars.

How many stars are there in sky?

....My pearl.....

...And they shine one by one.....They shine one by one.

How many times my eyes has seen this?

.....My pearl.....

"Our Father in sky. My Mary. Why did you leave me alone?" You inhale a long puff of breath. Staring at imagination infront of you but in reality it's just darkness. "Mother, Anni. My heart my soul m' sendin' this message by clouds and air that're passin' above." Your eyes shines and skin glows when the moon glimmered at you.

"Prayin' to God that the letters, I sent ye' arrivez t' ye. They took me away from ye'. And they brought me here to Clisora. Caged me in a palace full of luxuries and magnificence. M' only wish's to come back to you in our island our courtyard. Under me's soil of kindness over my head trees of olives, skies full of pearls." You inhale the jasmine scent in your weak state.

"Father m' anni if couldn't come back to ye', death's m' only escape. I don't want to keep your hopes then remember me in your prayers, I love ye' with my whole dying soul." Your brows furrowing tensely when Harry's face glimpsed infront of you. Your clogged lungs nourishing with some oxygen and you gasp loudly hunching in Harry's arms.

"Y/N!" He taps your cheek trying to bring you to life. His heart at brink of devastation. He himself took you from the dungeon to his garden.

You're in his arms. He's peering down at you worriedly cradling your face in his large soft palms.

"'S okay...." He breaths out when you snap your eyes fearfully to your surroundings. Jasmines around you, vineyard infront of you and the cast pearled sky atop your head. It's the same garden where he met you for the very first time.

"...take a deep breath fo' me." He takes a glass of water helping you sit up. When you whine with the pain in your sides he massaged them, putting your head on his shoulder. His chest against your back as he stroked your hair soothingly. His cheek pressed to yours and he deliberately puts his chin atop your head.

"I thought that I died...n' that I went to heaven. I smelled jasmine everywhere.." He chuckles softly fonding the apples of your cheek, "because I brought it fo' ye', look." You see and it's jasmine plants with pink roses everywhere. They seem like they've been planted recently.

"I know ye' love 'em." He smiles and you didn't know how to response. He hugs you closer to him. For some odd reasons you let him. Inhaling, the rose scent that was kissed to the nape of his neck.

He takes you to His rooms. Situating you on his bed. Sitting beside you and taking your hand warning them up. You puts your head on his shoulder and he glances down at you, leaning closer your mushk attracting him. Your enchantness calling him closer but this's not who he's. He retreats back smooching a wet kiss to your forehead.

You don't realise when you sleep in his arms as he scoots you to the pillows not moving too much letting you lay on his chest.

♧♧

When you wake up you quickly untangle yourself from him. Stopping to look at his work desk. It's mesmerising with stones you've never seen in life before. A Gold ring with Red Beryl coveted in it catches your attention and you startle when Harry pops out of nowhere.

"These are beautiful." You tells him honestly. "Is it?" He asks back in small voice and you nod giving him a gorgeous smile in return. It's weird you aren't hating him at all.

"This's ones fo' ye'. Reminds meh of ye'." He picks up the tantalising red ring facing you.

"I don't want it, Harry. I want home." He sighs closing his eyes and putting the ring back.

"If I'll become a King. I promise to free ye', Y/N. Till then past's a bad memory fo' ye'." Harry doesn't know that he has to keep his promise as his enthronment days are very near.

Enemies are plotting King's and His death. Bribing the army that they rebel against the Royals.

♧♧

Laila's taking you to Prince and you shove her to a corner. "Laila, help me escape the palace, please I beg you." She looks at you like you're crazy. "They'll cut our heads." You offer her a bracelet. The only thing you've of your parents.

"There's a secret canal way that leads to back gates of Castle. I could only show you the way." You nod grinning widely, unfortunately the canal lead to one of the higher chief's offices and they caught you.

The chief being a betrayer and rebel thought you were eavesdropping of the plot he was discussing. He knocked you down. Thanks to goodness Laila saved you taking you to nurses.

When you came back to consciousness Harry was there. With others around your bed and that chief too. You stares him in fear.

"Who did this t' ye', Y/N?" He turns his torso to you hands on his widespread knees.

You gulped a lump of tears down your throat. You don't know why but it's hurting you to hurt him?

"I tried to escape." His face falls at that. Monotonous as He turns his back to you. Everyone leaves the room making your anxiety peak up.

"Harry..." You whisper with tears falling. You tried to make him look towards you by grabbing his face but he stood up causing to slip shut your eyes.

The next morning, he wakes up to another girl as you're standing with the Highnesses at the balcony from where his's could be seen.

He's gazing down at you with stern expression going back inside with his chest hurting.

"He don't wants to see me. He's mad at me." You say and Highnesses squeezes your shoulder.

"Our grand son's like this. His anger will soon evaporate. You need to acknowledge he loves you alot."

♧♧

He's standing at the high balcony from where the whole city's under his single glance. He drives his eyes away from there towards you, scrutinizing every detail of you he's in love with.

He's wearing a sapphire gown over the frilled blouse, his hickory curls shining under the moonlight and when he speaks his maroon lips dripped with cherriness.

"Harry." You keep your eyes away from his piercing ones.

"Dont be afraid. 'M not mad." He tells you with gentleness in his harsh voice.

"To show ye' the city." He takes your hand guiding you to him. "Why?"

"To show how quite it's when it's asleep, but it could swallow ye' alive at ye'r one wrong move." He's trying to put some senses in you. He knows you're about to escape. He wants you to wait. He wants to protect you. He loves you. He'd never want anything bad happen to you. Even though he wants to be selfish and keep you to him he can't, he'd have to let you go. At last this's what love's about, that of suffering and agony.

"We can go check it out sometimes. The city becomes yours when you love it."

"I don't lie Harry, I told you from the very beginning I don't want to be here."

You soon changed the topic brushing your fingers at his knuckles taking him by surprise.

"What bout ye'? "You're not happy either." "You're just like me." He sighs letting his forehead fall against yours.

"It's meh life. 'M destined fo' what 'm." You give him a sympathetic smile. Harry felt warm. He never had someone to pity his life everyone glorified him. Now, it feels better.

"Ye' care bout me?"

"I do." You confess and he smiles kissing your temple with affection.

But something turned inside you making you bitter, "I'm your slave, your property I'm supposed to take care of you, right?." His heart pangs at this. He puts his hands on your shoulder speaking to you with ever love.

"Did I hurt ye'? Was I ever bad to you?" You shake your head in opposition. God what's wrong with me. You thought as his jade irirses remain fixated at your face.

"Did I somehow hurt ye' meh, love?"

"You don't get it. You're not the reason of my sadness." You lean against the railing.

"You're a good person, Harry." You continue with dissapointed pout of your lips. "'S just there are so many girls here they all want you."

He instantly grabs her chin. "But what matters is who I want." You roll your eyes.

"Ye' want all of 'em. There's one every night in your bed, leave me." You mutter walking away from him when he catches your wrist, pulling you back and holding both of your wrists drawing circles on them.

"Y're queen of my heart. The soul of me' body. I find ye' in the sky I wake up to and the stars I sleep to. Y're dream of me heart, the beautiful places I've never visited, Y/N." He leans closer to you and you close your eyes anticipating for a kiss but instead he presses his lips against your temple.

His eyes widens when you slip your arms from his armpits wrapping them around his shoulders to hug him. He sways along you inhaling in your pomegranate fragrance until the sun rises to hues of tangerine.

♧♧

You're at the secret garden again. The day's pretty bright today. Harry's at the balcony, hands at his folds peeking far to his sight.

"Do you fear death, Harry?" You join him.

"I was never afraid of death. Death was always closer to me like a companion of mine but this life frightens me, Y/N." It's the way he always let his vulnerable side expose to you without any restriction. You raise your hand to caress his cheek hesitating midway and Harry gave you a shy smile clearing his throat.

"But ye' tiny creature gives me hope and light." You fake offend putting your hands on your hips. "'M not tiny!." He cackles loudly. The genuine belly ache one, with his head falling back. There was a weird feeling in your stomach watching him laugh this hard for the first time.

When he heaves his chest loudly moisturizing his lips, craning his jaw to other side you peer him for long minutes before turning it back to you gently and Harry's heart did a little dance when your fingers touched him.

You tip toes. Closing your eyes and attaching your lips to his's. Everything around you vanished to sweet cotton candy. He cups your face in his clammy palms inserting his tongue inside your mouth and you moan biting his bottom lip with sccachirness. He pulls away at the brink of running out of oxygen. Both, of you smiling like fool's gold.

"'M afraid 'm fallin' for ye' Harry." You rub your palms up and down his chest, he slips his hand intervining with yours kissing the insides of it, "meh too, meh too"

♧♧

A royal party was held at castle. Everyone danced, cheered and drank their arses off. Harry's eyes remained at you as you stood in the far corner not allowed to join. Adorned in red satin gown with work of gold wire and jewelled flowers on it. Layers of clothes and cane cane underneath, heavily embroidered corset pushed so far making your breasts appear plump than they already are, your gorgeous hair beautified with a precious headband of red velvets and sapphire stones around. Highnesses gifted you this dress to look pretty for Harry, ordering hairstylist to put curls in your hair and cherry balmness to your lips.

When the Princess of some state came to dance with Harry it caused something to twist in your tummy. It's jealously boiling inside you. Harry smirks whispering something in princess ear that caused her to laugh and you grunted under your breath balling your fists. It's an alluring sight for him. He wishes he wakes upto it daily.

You gesture him with your brows to meet you and He gave you a lopsided smile with mischief in his eyes.

When he stepped in corridors cooing your name climbing up the stairs. His finger tips brushing agaisnt the each wall kissed your presence.

Then two delicate hands pulled him to a side making him squeak dramatically and leading you inside his rooms carefully.

"Ye' mad woman!" You roll your eyes. Smashing your lips against his's catching him by surprise for thousandth time. He kisses you back with same passion, yearn and vigour saturating the thread like distance between you by taking you from hips.

He seals your squeal as you both toppled back to plush floor pillows. He rakes his hands down your calves locking them around his waist. You take his face kissing him with tongue and he fondled your sides caringly.

He moans into your mouth wrapping a hand around your throat and deepening the kiss. Everything feels so hot like burning maroons and you grind your pelvis against his hard on crotch.

"Want ye'." You whine slipping your fingers in his silk curls as he sucked a spot under your ear. He pushes himself back from the crook of your neck tucking wild errands of your tresses back.

"Ye' want meh, sweet girl?" He whispers with sweetest voice continuously petting your head, "I do, Harry. Only you." Harry's so happy he have no words to describe, but his actions would.

He fondles your chin and all you could do's stare his lips, "Tell meh darlin', wha' do yeh wan' from meh?" Your breaths mingling as he grazed his delicate fingers down between the valley of your chest. He maintains an eye contact with you like a prying loin as he glided down your core leaving kisses over your clothes.

When he subduedly pushes your skirts up your bended knees you scrunch upto find his head hovering over your centre, "what're ye' doin'?" You ask him out of breath and he chafed the flesh of your inner thighs mildly.

"Lovin' on meh pretty girl with meh mouth first." Whatever, it's his words coiled knots in your stomach causing you to clench your thighs together but he tutted spreading them wide.

Cool air hits against your dripping cunt when he gets rid of your cotton knickers. He wets his lips, admiring you for moments seeping in the way your pussy lips shining with arousal fluttered with anticipation.

"'S pretty. Love fo' meh?" You bob your head gasping loudly when he traced gentle patterns to your mound. He lowers himself down halting midway, "look meh, darlin'." He tries to gain your attention by tugging your hand intervining his fingers with yours and he climbs back to smauch a kiss to your lips, giving a long wet wipe to your cupid bow. He boops your nose when you giggle gasping in the middle when he pinched your hip-bones.

"I wan' your eyes on meh, when I lick your sweet cunt." The drift of his voice to sterness made him appear intimidating and you gulp nodding.

Your spine arched beautifully when his warm tongue gave an agonisingly tender swipe from your slit to clitoris. He licks like a hungry kitten, small but rapid that causes you to curl your toes in pleasure. You meander your fingers in his wild curls pulling them harshly that made him groan into your pussy.

"Harry..." You moan when he nibbles at your glistening pussy lips, nudging your clitoris with his perfect nose that shooted zaps of pleasure to your spine. "Mhmph, s' fuckin' peachy." He murmurs sucking and taking your nub between his lips to pull it meeting your gaze.

Your head falls back the instant his emarld eyes glimmered at you. The corners of his mouth fully covered with your arousal and wetness.

You lost it when he inserted his tongue inside you, your walls clenching around the soft muscle as it poked in different directions. The tip of his tongue massaging your sweet spot again and again. He gropes your thighs tightly imprinting the rash of his hands when you thrashed in his hold while he laps at you.

"'M gonna...ah!" You yell almost crushing his head and grinding yourself against his mouth. You gushed. Your pleasure coming in waves upon waves dripping down your slit and coating Harry's lips. Your eyes fluttering like butterfly to come to the sight of him atop yours. He's grinning down at you with his cheeky dimples showing and you poke them with your shivering finger.

You kiss him with parted mouth. This time it's slow, sweet and soft. A kiss that melts you in spot, that causes you to desire for more. Your fingers fumbled with his trousers and he helped you shimming them down his ankles.

He lays you down on his bed. Getting you naked not forgetting to love on you how you deserve. Kissing your bare shoulders, your neck and breasts in the process. He kisses your forehead, the apple of you cheeks and your lips at last.

You whimper when he collects your moisture, sushing you with his delicate lips he uses your wetness to tug at his cock. His bulbous head three shades crimsoned of his heart-shaped lips. Both of you moan together in ecastasy when he with ever softness stroked his head in between your pussy lips, flickering your clit with it.

"Take meh hand, darlin'." He winds his fingers with yours pressing them into velvet sheets, your breath hitches when the tip of his cock brushed agaisnt your hole.

"'M bout to get in yeh'." He tells you temple resting against yours and you gave him a wavering smile pecking the corners of his lips.

You give a kitten cry when he buries himself deep inside you slowly taking care of your comfort, "I know. I know, petal." He swiped the sheen away from your hairline staying still as you bolted your eyes shut clamping around him tight. He grunts in pain his back getting pooled in sweat against your palms, but he doesn't care. For you he could bare any misery.

"Relax. Jus' take a breath fo' me, yeah darlin'?" He takes your bottom lip sucking it tenderly as you milked and nourished his cock buried deep inside you. "Y're doin' s' good baby', s' good fo' meh."

His care. Affection. His gentleness for you building three words in you and you were about to say them with ever love for him.

"I...You can move." He plants a small kiss to your hair. Burrowing his head in between your breasts moving with slow thrusts of his hips, you whine and when he gave a particular hard thrust. When he stops immediately looking for any sign of distress on your face you lulled his beautiful face to kiss him. He smiles against your lips, your noses doing eskimo kisses. He's doesn't want to rush. He want to make love with you. Give you all his lovin' he ever had.

"Feels so warm around me cock. Feels s' fuckin' good."

Soon pain faded to tingling of rapture and you locked your elbows around his neck meeting his slow thrusts.

You swirled his curl around your finger adoring his heavenly features. His brows kinking together as he felt blissful pleasure building inside his spine. The bridge of his nose crimson and his cheeks flushed. He held you tight to his chest coming in inside you in spurts of thickness coating your walls and some of it oozing out of your cunt.

He has never felt this ecastic. In the arms of his love. His life. The reason of his presence. Coming out of his headspace he pulled back carefully with his hand pressing on your tummy, when you whine from the soreness he kisses your outer thighs.

"Dear Lord." You moan at the top of your lungs when he kissed your pussy. He tastes himself and you on his tongue as he cleaned and licked you, knowing you couldn't come on your first he took care of you with his luscious sexy mouth. Making you cum for him twice. He has never heard such a pretty noise that of your little saccharine moans and whimpers.

Your head rests on his bare chest. Calves tangled and silk sheets on your hips as he ran his thumb in soothing patterns over your shoulder blade.

"I love you, Y/N. 'Ve never loved someone this much." You smile up at him pecking the underside of his chin with loud smooching noises and his giggles rumbles through his ribcages making you sigh dreamily. He was drowning into slumber and you stared up at the renaissance painting blinking when the realization dawned upon you. What 'm doin'? Is this even right? Your self questioning came to a drastic stop when the room echoed with a knock. You draped a His silk robes over your naked figure popping your head from the creak of door.

"Laila?" You squint and she nodded vigorously gesturing you to come outside.

"I've found a new tunnel that really leads to the back gates of Castle, we need to slide outta here before midnight at that time the duties of guards changes." She whisper yelled. You look at her in shock and uncertainty, until nodding in agreement at last. Quickly rushing in back to put on your clothes halting in tracks when Harry's little breaths reaches your heart you lowers down to plant a kiss to his forehead, frowning at the fact he's burning giving half of your heart to him you exited his rooms because whatever's your descion pain's written in your destination. Putting on a the hood of your magenda velvet coat, you snatches a lantern running away from the indoors pushing the heavy oak doors as you reach to gate Laila stops you to give a hug. "Take care of yourself." You sighed with your heart shattering to pieces.

"Take care of Harry, fo' me, laila." Saying this you rushed away into the meadows pondering over the 'I love you' you've rested on your lips.

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[ruby-whistler]

hi, here's a short (long) analysis of this song which you should at least give a watch in my opinion! you might not like it, but you also might, so i say give it a shot.

anyways, here's my personal interpretation of the lyrics i (co)wrote. ani might have a completely different one, but you know.

beforehand, i need to point out that the first half of this was written before c!wilbur's revival and the second one was written after.

so, starting with the title

my motivation for it was c!wilbur's general role in shaping the narrative of the server, as well as cc!wilbur often joking around about scripts and other plot elements.

another thing was a clip of him talking with philza about how he thought the server's storyline was becoming very scattered, and i got the idea that maybe when c!wilbur comes back, he might try to rewrite the plot to his benefit as he has done time and time again.

hence, the idea for the song was born in my mind as i was falling asleep one night, because that is the only time i get good ideas.

the first half

"history, history, s'told by the winners, made by the sinners"

this was a reference to wilbur quoting the famous line "history is told by the victors". the reason i chose to use this set of words is because although the winners (wilbur) are the ones telling the story, the people who actually make the impact are often flawed, and genuinely invested in the cause (rest of l'manberg).

while c!wilbur knew the cause of l'manberg was false, he let the "sinners", or people he considered lower than him, since he was the one "telling" the story, win the war for him and make history as he altered the finished "story" in his own favor.

"so lie that you'll free them, s'long as you lead 'em"

this one is pretty self-explanatory. wilbur promised the revolution freedom in return for total loyalty to him, his power, and his country.

i'd also like to point out the use of "you" in this song - this was written, once again, before the revival; it was however expected that dream was going to bring wilbur back at some point. and i'm pretty sure ani doesn't know this, but writing this, i intentionally made the "you" wilbur is singing to be dream.

in essence, wil's telling his newfound ally about how powerful he is due to his abilities to "rewrite the script" - picture this being your usual villain monologue song after a dramatic return, since wil's always had a knack for the theatrics. keep this in mind for the rest of the explanation of these lyrics.

"the ink doesn't dry 'till time blows by spin a silver web and they're comply"

i absolutely loved this lyric, i couldn't stop gushing about it. ani came up with this one completely, so i don't know whether or not it has any deeper meaning, but i wanted to point it out because it sounds hella cool. the second part is about c!wilbur spinning lies until people would listen to him and do what he wants.

"smiles in the mirrors, reality's a game"

this line was meant to give an idea of just how screwed wilbur's perception of the world and people around him is, in that he treats everyone's lives as a narrative, as a symphony, as something that belongs to him and is free for him to play with.

smiles in the mirrors can be taken in a lot of ways, but one interpretation i like is that wilbur and dream as characters are parallels in their actions, but no one realizes it because the narrative paints them in different lights and the tragic hero and puppeteer respectively, when it's moreso the other way around.

"with help from the spinners we can shift all the blame"

spinners are the people wilbur uses to "spin" the tales for him. and, well, he's always been very good at shifting the blame and making himself out to be a victim.

seeing as he's talking to dream, in this line he is also reassuring him that he has people on the outside that can help them "rewrite" the current narrative and shift the blame away from dream and wilbur, in order to change the public's perception of them, which is at the time overwhelmingly negative.

"and if the world hunts you down out your mind and around we'll set their precious world adrift, adrift"

this is the most obvious pointer that wilbur is singing to dream. he is directly telling him that since the people of the smp have "hunted" him (or would, if he were to escape), and have hurt him mentally and physically in the prison, wilbur would work with him to destroy their lives and their world as they know it for their mutual gain.

it also brings forth his views of possession and power; in essence, he sees himself as in charge of the lives of everyone in his story, hence finding their realities fragile and fully his own to mess with. he finds it amusing that he has full control over something so "precious" to them, and mocks this sentiment in the last line.

"and if you don't like what's shown and you feel like no one's grown just, rewrite the script!"

this was the first lyrics for the song, which ani wrote, after i proposed the idea. this begins a trend in the song where wilbur will alternate between talking to dream and the viewers themselves.

here he is directly addressing those who don't like the way the smp has been since wilbur has stopped writing, and who call out the lack of character development in certain people's stories. he is reassuring them that now that he's back, he will rewrite it to be more entertaining - for him, that is.

the second half

alright, now we're going over what i myself wrote the day wilbur was revived after getting a surge of inspiration.

"screams, broken voices poor writing choices"

this starts off with revived wilbur's opinions on the new storyline he has come into. the first line refers to the torture dream is going through in prison, and the second is him simply commenting on how he finds the plotline inadequate after his return.

"dreams of redemption caught my attention"

the interesting thing about this is that wilbur, as has been shown before with eret, doesn't believe in people's redemption.

this line insinuates that even if there was any chance of the circumstances changing and dream getting better, now that wilbur was back, he wan't planning to let that happen, as he finds it one of the aforementioned "poor writing choices".

it caught his attention as something he finds interesting - since he's always had a twisted fascination with people's hopes and goals, finding ways to use them to his advantage - but in the end, naive, since his outlook on the world has always been quite cynical.

"train wheels screech on the rails in the end, my world prevails"

this was an attempt to shove a reference to the stream i had just watched into the song. the train stopped in limbo, and it came to get him back out to the world of the living.

the second line is him boasting that he knew all along that his efforts to gain people's loyalty would would pay off in the end, and hence his "word" prevailed even over death.

"i've got tales in store, of loss and of war it's a shattered world for me to restore"

see, this entire sequence is quite the oxymoron, and it's meant to be confusing, showcasing once again just how twisted wilbur's outlook on the world is.

he finds the story "shattered", which is a reference to cc!wilbur saying he prefers more centred stories than what the dsmp is right now. he is promising to fix this, finding it another game for him to play, another puzzle for him to solve, however, his definition of "restore" is proven by the previous line to be a contradiction at its core.

he has plans from his time in limbo, and just like all of his stories so far, they're tragic and traumatizing to the people playing in them. he plans to perpetuate war and conflict in order to make the story more lively and dynamic, while using loss as a tragic element to push the "characters" in their lives further towards development.

in the end, the way he's planning to "restore" the world is by rewriting the narrative in such a way that it wouldn't stagnate, or work itself out naturally, but continue endlessly for him to write and control.

"villains and heroes, traitors and moles when push comes to shove they'll burn the world for their goals"

the second part of the first line was meant to be "interchangeable roles" instead, but we switched it out so it would be easier to sing.

it's talking about how after all, it doesn't really matter to wilbur who the villain or hero is, as long as they are part of the narrative that he has power over.

"and if i harness the flame their hope will blaze all the same no time for interests to conflict"

this is confirmation of the previous point that he can use people's feelings against them and in order to perpetuate his own "interests". as long as he can make people think he's helping them, even if their goals are different, there won't be room for them to truly conflict.

the people on the dream smp all burn with hope and passion and human emotions he can exploit and use in favour of himself and his story, and even then they won't get any weaker. he sees them as an endless fuel source he can take from, essentially.

"so when you're blue and betrayed by all the choices you've made just, rewrite the script."

the last lines of the song, and here he is speaking specifically to the characters in the story. all of them have made mistakes and been "betrayed" by their choices to trust others, which left them or others grieving or hurt.

wilbur is in essence mocking this, by pointing out, once again, how simple it is for him to "just rewrite the script", and take all of their "blue" away - while also making it clear that he only plans to use this power to take further control by driving those he sees fit further down their path of revenge and villainy.

epilogue

thank you all for reading, whoever did! this song was truly a passion project for me to work on, and i loved coming up with deeper meanings to the lyrics, by using my own personal interpretation of the character. i get that this is not everyone's interpretation, but i like it. i also really can't wait for what wilbur's up to now that he's back. either way, have a nice day!

[charmspoint]

Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia 

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture 

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish. 

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

[ghdjhdfhgkdmoved]

ok i am very much in the mood to talk about my egoverse so i'm gonna ramble about it a bit here and just. list some things.

anti steals things from the other egos. mainly chase. like, u know how chase wears a different hat now?? yeah it's because anti stole his old one. he also stole the chad puppet and gave it to jj because Fuck You Chase Brody

jackie looks up to henrik and sees him like a father figure!!

all of the egos except for anti and marvin were made intentionally. like,, jack actually intended for them to exist. and wrote them backstories, nd doodled up concepts for em nd stuff before making em. anti nd marv are forever pissed about this, because due to the fact that they weren't really like. planned or thought out they're both kinda Fucked Up

anti likes to dance- he doesn't do it often though

henrik has tried to off himself at least once

chase is a big fan of the 80s aesthetic. if he were to put any actual effort into the things he wears i can guarentee that it'd all be terrible 80s clothes

jj likes plants!! he's always wanted to have a lil garden

henrik just wants to live on a beach somewhere, man. like god dammit this is all he asks for

even though marvin works as a party trick magician, they do not know how to do any actual party tricks. so instead they cheat and use real magic. it looks cooler anyway

all of the egos are traumatized and need to go to therapy

henrik absolutely did not trust marvin when they first met because he's a stubborn bastard who refuses to trust anyone new

none of the egos have very good memories. like, if jack has written out something as a part of their backstory, they'll remember it (like, jackie remembers being bullied as a teen), but most of their 'pasts' are just. a blur

anti and marvin once again were not plannned and therefore don't remember SHIT

henrik likes to write!! after him nd marvin finally started getting along he wrote them a poem and you can guarentee that they almost started crying

jj has weird ass visions from the future. like fuckin one minute he's sitting there at the kitchen table doodling in a notebook that anti gave him, and the next he's sitting on a couch next to some dude in an adidas hat who seems far more familiar than he should. nd then after a second it's over and he's sitting at the kitchen table again. it's strange and he doesn't like it

jackie has a lisp. this is not important information i just felt as if you all should know

though he tries to hide it, henrik is fucking terrified of anti. like,, he spent like 6 months with that bastard and it REALLY fucked him up both mentally and physically u know

anti absolutely HATES feeling controlled. it's why he's so obsessed with controlling other people.

jj probably collects dolls. He Just Thinks They're Neat

i mentioned before that chase gives the other egos goofy lil nicknames so i am going to list them all off here:

henrik; henry, specs

jackie; jay/jaybird

marvin; mars, marv

jj; james, jamie

anti; THAT FUCKER

anti has a corkboard in his room and it's covered in uncomfortable photos. some of them are of henrik, when he had him held captive, a few of em are of chase- but most of em are of jack, from before he was put into a coma (though a few of them are of jack in the hospital, after he was put into a coma.)

jackie genuinely does not know how to deal with his own sadness. he feels like he doesn't really have the right to be sad, considering all of his friends have it WAY worse than him- like christ, chase lost his wife and kids, and henrik was kidnapped for months- so he just kind of.... bottles all of his sadness up.

marvin's fashion sense is very will wood inspired. once again not important i just want you all to know

ok that's all goodbye

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Your nan in? Janis: what? Jimmy: not a hard question, does she work weekends or what? Janis: stop trying to get with my nan, freak Jimmy: I'm trying to do nowt, our kid is Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby with a lewk on and some kind of gift for Libi because he's asking her out lowkey] Jimmy: so go on, she there or not? Janis: Aw Janis: where's he off to? Janis: I'm looking after Libi, dunno if it's classed as punishment or they just wanted to piss off out for the day that bad Jimmy: Asia's sister's having a 🥳🎂🎁 and he don't wanna go on his own Jimmy: last night were the first I heard Jimmy: so I said I'd ask if he can invite Libi out Janis: relatable Janis: wouldn't wanna face all those 🦷🦷 alone either Janis: I'll show her the 📸 sure she'll be pure buzzing Jimmy: it's alright for you I've gotta piss about and translate 'cause none of them can be bothered to learn how to talk to him Jimmy: not til 🕑 loads of time to put her 👗👠👑 on but he's been ready for ages Janis: I mean, glad they haven't just assumed they can shout really, really loud at him Janis: only cute when she does it, obvs Janis: but that's shit, Asia's gonna think you're hanging about to 👀 her, you know Janis: 👗👠👑 and everything Jimmy: I were 🤞 she wouldn't wanna be there surrounded by kids and that, but they probably are her mental age Jimmy: be a right laugh then, this 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 now I can convince the pair of them to go do something else Janis: they're weird about it Janis: great for the 'gram pretending you're bezzies with your little sisters Jimmy: the rest of the #squad gonna be there then? Janis: not 💀👑 or #2 I doubt Janis: maybe the others though Jimmy: I get it, they'd scare the kids Jimmy: float away if they grab a 🎈 Janis: with their combined BMI, no point pretending they wanna be future mummy bloggers Janis: 🩸🩸 pact it ain't Jimmy: sure Azerbaijan or whatever her name is, is gutted they ain't coming Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Auntie Mimi Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you got a 👗👠👑  there you can chuck on an' all? Janis: so nice of you to reckon I'm ready to step in to sign backup Jimmy: you know loads of insults, that's all the birthday girl ever has to say to him Janis: she must be unbearable Janis: Asia with less filter, some fucking how Janis: I can come with Jimmy: tah Jimmy: it were doing his head in 💭 what it might be like Janis: understandable Janis: kids are dicks Janis: but if everyone else is going, you don't wanna be the one who don't Jimmy: yeah, he weren't having that Janis: they'll have a good time Janis: providing he ain't 😳 to be seen with her Janis: she's putting on some kind of costume rn Janis: might need to 👍👎 Jimmy: he'll be chuffed Jimmy: if this party had been the other year with his mates from home he'd have put his own 👗👠👑 on Janis: Asia's probably dressed bday girl up in a matching 'fit with her Janis: lovely visual, not weird as fuck Janis: they'll be the most 😎 ones there, deffo Jimmy: I'm wrapping a weird doll with massive 👀 that looks like her on a night out rn Jimmy: [a picture] Janis: ✝️✝️✝️ Janis: gonna tell the hot priest to book that in after me Jimmy: sent a 🎁 list, her mini me, you ever heard of such a pisstake? Jimmy: mate, you're turning 7 Janis: bad enough when adults do it just 'cos they've decided to do the paperwork Janis: that's some bullshit Jimmy: she's such a little twat 🤞 Libi gives her the shit 🎅 treatment Janis: letting her bring her whatever tat she's picking up about the gaff Janis: go ahead, like Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: brb gonna go dress in all black like those dickheads who work puppets Janis: when are you not all in black though Jimmy: loads Janis: 🏫 don't count Janis: no choice Janis: or whatever the CG uniform is Jimmy: 1. I weren't on about school 2. you know what the uniform is, you've been in Janis: not committed it to memory like Janis: soz Janis: have to 💭 about Pete more, you're right Jimmy: you did 👀 at it enough, dickhead Jimmy: but I get it, my 👀 are up a bit from the apron Jimmy: very PG, you Janis: PC and PG Janis: 💔 Jimmy: good thing I've got you to rein me in at this bollocks party Janis: not a wet blanket Janis: but this party will probably be traumatizing enough so you're welcome anyway Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: she can stay at ours after if she wants, let you piss off and do something that ain't Janis: oh, yeah, cheers Jimmy: no bother Janis: if you ever need, he can come here Jimmy: take you up on that when this Sharon's gone and Ian's hanging about 💔🎻😭 Janis: a new one? Janis: or is xmas Sharon back Jimmy: doing the rounds her Jimmy: be a record Janis: 😱 Janis: buy a hat Jimmy: get another exorcism booked, more like Jimmy: been trying to 🙏 her away Janis: he's a little preoccupied rn Janis: oops, soz, He's Jimmy: bloody typical Janis: shit nan got in early and they're like 🤝 Janis: do anything for her Janis: priorities Jimmy: 💔 she won't do owt for me Jimmy: reckoned I'd made a top first impression Janis: @ her Jimmy: what is it? Janis: @godandmejudgingeverybody Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: she reckons so too Jimmy: I worked that out when we 🤝 Janis: BFFs in the making Jimmy: obvs Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: if she's chucking about incense an' all, I might do Janis: Poor boy Janis: baptism of 🔥 ain't far off Jimmy: still 😱😱 you didn't do that to Lucas' car Jimmy: what did I even bother giving you a lighter for, girl? Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: you didn't see how fucked it was Janis: talk 😱😱 like Freddie got hold of it Jimmy: where's the 📷s? Janis: love keeping evidence on my phone, me Janis: think on Janis: getting us out of detention, not back in Jimmy: weren't gonna tweet 'em, calm yourself down Janis: see for yourself Monday Janis: not like he can afford a replacement or paint job Jimmy: he'll have had it done piss poor Janis: just some emulsion Janis: not for his baby Jimmy: gotta do what you've gotta do Jimmy: we've all nicked out the 🎨 cupboard Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: oh so you don't want today's? alright Jimmy: ❌ Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: in the 🗑 now, Janet Janis: shut up Janis: give it me Jimmy: when I see you Jimmy: can't have you feeling left out about all these 🎁s Jimmy: our kid's been trying to pick half the garden like it ain't winter Janis: so smooth, that one Jimmy: SO 😍💕🤝 the pair of them Janis: it's pretty cute Janis: for now Jimmy: can't wait to see how many Josephs the star of the nativity's got Jimmy: bet her sister and me can't count that high Janis: you calling a 7 year old a slag? 😏 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 💭 about someone else then, my bad Jimmy: that sounds like you, we're back on track Janis: now I'm a slag Janis: have been chatting to my nan Jimmy: ain't my fault 💀👑 reckons 💭 is cheating if anyone else does it Janis: the dissonance between that and 1. what she do and more importantly 2. what daddy do Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: dunno what your 🤓🗨 means but she's a hypocrite, yeah Janis: come on Janis: left out cognitive for you Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: Bill wanted you to have that Janis: that's why he's my fave Jimmy: alright, I'll leave you to @ him Janis: OR Janis: you could be nice to me and I'll reconsider my ratings Jimmy: invited you to a 🥇 party a bit ago Jimmy: don't get nicer than that, dickhead Janis: **a shit party, possibly the shittest if Asia's had fuck all to do with organizing Janis: but you are bringing me a pity present so 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, it's a masterpiece Jimmy: and I'm having Libi for you when she's 🎂🧁🍭🍬😁 Janis: you aren't offering spoilers Janis: but you did offer that Jimmy: you can have one that I reckoned wouldn't be #goals enough Jimmy: [funny doodles shading the gals and this party etc, we know what I'm saying] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: it's 🤓 goals Jimmy: you can frame it, just don't stick in on your story Janis: still know what I'm doing Janis: not been that long Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: teaching you signing is one thing Janis: oi Janis: you don't need to teach me nothing about #goals Jimmy: you do alright Janis: better than any other bitch could Jimmy: that'll be why I picked you Jimmy: not some other lass Janis: don't act like you're regretting it then Jimmy: if I were performing that scene it'd be loads more dramatic Janis: wait for your cue Jimmy: how about you stop reading ahead Janis: 🤪 Jimmy: I said you were doing alright not that I were regretting owt Janis: I don't like the sound of alright Janis: sounds a bit participation 🏆 Jimmy: *🥈 Janis: that means 🥈 as a team Janis: joint effort Jimmy: it means you're 🥈 to my 🥇 Janis: bollocks Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you're no better Janis: we do the same amount Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you can't be 🥇 on your own Janis: ✊🍆 Jimmy: couldn't be #goals on my own Janis: same thing Jimmy: is it? Janis: with what we're talking about Jimmy: I were giving you my review, not the fans Janis: I know how big your head is Janis: no need to 💬 Jimmy: you can have a 🥇 for how massive yours is an' all Janis: I don't want that one Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: 🥇 review Jimmy: that's what you had before you picked holes in my wording Janis: fine Janis: say it again and I'll 🤐 Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: UGH fine Jimmy: 🙄 ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: if I wanted to chat to my sister Janis: I'd ask if she was coming Jimmy: and if I wanted my lines corrected I'd @ Bill's 👻 Janis: maybe if I 🔊 'em I'd feel different Jimmy: I'll follow Libi's lead Janis: as long as it's before the shindig Janis: doesn't sound #goalz Jimmy: we'll have to whisper then Jimmy: wouldn't want the birthday girl to hear me calling her a twat Janis: 😏 Janis: not 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: heaven forbid Jimmy: have to have our own party and have it be up to us what's 🥇 guest behaviour Janis: we should Janis: but where Jimmy: we can have it here 🤞 they'll trash the place and Ian'll be so 💔🎻😭 he packs what's left up Janis: alright Janis: but where are you putting the kid Janis: your sister can hang maybe but call me crazy, six is a bit too young Jimmy: with his 👰? Janis: 💡 Janis: we could set that up Janis: my nan works with kids, the non-shit one Libi lives with Janis: he'd be good Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: ✔👍 Janis: BUT WHAT WILL WE WEAR Jimmy: OMG! Jimmy: 🛍🛍🛍!! Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: YAAAAAAAASSSSSS Jimmy: what are you actually wearing for this bollocks in a bit though? Jimmy: 🚫💡 me Jimmy: do I go #goals or do her head in? Janis: you don't wanna look like you've made a special effort for her Janis: but I will be there so 🤔 Janis: go hot but more what they 💭 I'm into Jimmy: so dress like a lass? alright Janis: 😒❌ Janis: peak 'you' Janis: twat Jimmy: 😎 I get it Janis: 👏 Janis: there you go Jimmy: tah 😘 Jimmy: would HATE to upstage the birthday girl Janis: I've checked their socials to make sure I do Janis: as you asked Jimmy: should be in the group chat Jimmy: [shows her pisstakey qs he's been sending Asia] Janis: I turned the notifs off Jimmy: they do go on and on Jimmy: I won't 🗨 that'll be why you're 🥈 Janis: they wanna 🗨 to you Janis: not me Jimmy: but I want to talk to you Jimmy: and read what you have to say to them, obvs Janis: okay, fair point Jimmy: you're funny, said that before Janis: I won't  🗨 if it's list worthy Jimmy: alright, I won't tell you Janis: 😔 Jimmy: what? Janis: now I wanna know, obviously Janis: but Jimmy: but? Janis: won't ask won't tell Jimmy: so ask Janis: well you'll probably just say nah now Jimmy: make me sound like more of a dickhead Janis: you're not Janis: you just take the piss Jimmy: I know when to leave it out Janis: okay Janis: so does it? Jimmy: why wouldn't it? Janis: I know I'm great and have a MASSIVE head and everything Janis: but don't crack myself up Janis: 🤣🤣🤣😬 Jimmy: it's my list Jimmy: dunno why that's hard to get your head round Jimmy: you don't get a say what's on it and it don't matter if you agree or not Janis: alright Janis: were just saying why it might not be Jimmy: alright Janis: but is it Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: not gonna have a list of things and just not put something I give you loads of compliments about on it Janis: okay Janis: 😎 Jimmy: 🚭 for a bit 💔🎻 Janis: might have cigars Janis: is a birthday Jimmy: one Asia might've organised Janis: those candy ones Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 Janis: Bobby will be in his impression element Jimmy: he'd have to take Libi's fav 🖍 out from behind his 👂 Jimmy: not very #goals Janis: goals when she realises Janis: so 😍 Janis: she's done him a picture Janis: tell him to pretend it's good Jimmy: well harsh critic, you Jimmy: dunno if I wanna give you this 🎨 now Jimmy: or tell him owt 'cause he's been trying to get us to go knock on your nan's door for ages Janis: she's 4, and not picasso Janis: that's not mean Janis: we are ready, if he wants to come play first, or go to the park Janis: whatever Jimmy: you've near had my 👂 off, don't make me van Gogh Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: awh Janis: don't be 💙 Janis: come over Jimmy: okay Janis: you don't have to Janis: but she's rabid too Jimmy: I've left, not gonna turn him back round Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up so Bobby can adorably ask Libi to come to this party with him like it's a date on the doorstep and Jimothy can give his bae a single 🌹 for the shakespearean romance of it along with this 🎨 which I like to think isn't just a doodle like the rest but a full moment because she really inspired him by getting them out of detention] Janis: [she will be thrilled, love to imagine how iconic the party fit we've assembled is, a whole mishmash of things we love you know the vibe, probably gonna smooch him like what a lovely surprise and this is her romcom now lmao, thank god these kids be distracted 'cos we are likewise overwhelmed af by both these gestures in a way we don't even want babbies to see thank you] Jimmy: [I know that you'd never be able to find a lewk iconic enough for this mvp so I shall imagine it, likewise glad that these children are having their rom com moment because adorable but also because Jimothy would be feeling so awks because we don't normally try with our art and don't think we're good at it, go show Bobby your room gal, kids love doing that and JJ can have a cuppa or something and calm down] Janis: [yeah idk what pinterest rabbit hole I'd have to go down but doubt we'd get the desired effect, I'm thinking some kind of superhero moment on top w a cape, then a tutu, then some snazzy boots, then a crown, you know exactly the moment we're wilding and Asia's sisters are gonna be like oh lmao, probably put Killer in the garden so she doesn't bowl Bobby over immediately but you can go play with her too, just keep looking at this art shamelessly 'cos he's stepped his game up and we are impressed, also finding a way to braid this rose into our hair which again doubt I'll get a photo but it'd be a lewk as well, go sit with your cuppas like the parents you are lol] Jimmy: [yeah they are usually v basic with their children's lewks you'd need instagram or like a celeb who lets their kid dress themselves and even then, might not be the vibe, Asia's sisters can honestly fuck off because we know the older one who's like younger than Cass so in my head probably like 9/10 is an even bigger bitch so, what's important is how buzzing these kids are because haven't seen each other for ages and how 😳 Jimmy is by her reaction to the art and her hair lewk and how shamelessly he'd be checking her out when she was making the tea because we know she's also wearing one] Janis: [like she's 4 hens idk what to tell ya, she does not care for your shade, we're having a time, we all know the gals, whoever be there, will be going for an overly girly look so you'd win by default but we've clearly tried 'cos want to and we know why] Jimmy: [not soz that she's not 7 going on 17 like the bday gal, idk about you but I feel like if Hollie has any siblings they are probably brothers so she has no reason to be there, so realistically none of them might be unless Grace is babysitting instead of working in the clothes shop in which case she might be but it wasn't really about any of you or for your benefit hens, plus that feels like a vibe because Asia probably was thinking she'd flirt with him] Janis: [tea, like she's a hoe so she don't care but she could've gone in if none of them were about so a mood, not soz to stop that awkwardness at all 'what continent is in his class then?'] Jimmy: [lbr Mia would be encouraging her to like she'd been trying to get Grace to when he first arrived so yeah, as for replying to the bae we just 😏 and shrugging as we make up loads of more and more ridiculous names] Janis: [we all know it, like okay ladies it's clearly not going anywhere but pop off embarrassing yourselves trying, just having a moment of doing that back and forth for the lols] Jimmy: [let it go Mia! we all know he'll have choked on his tea at least once because she is funny we weren't wrong] Janis: [we've missed this] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids even if he would keep getting distracted by the hair 🌹] Janis: ['any particular plan of attack or?'] Jimmy: ['you not leaving me on my own 'cause she'll have one for me' we're joking but lowkey where is the lie] Janis: [just a look that is like ew but obviously 'or with her ma' 'cos just imagining her as an older Asia like there's just all the generations here] Jimmy: [the look on his face would be everything because we've not even considered that] Janis: [just like mhmm, doubt you've ever met her mum in a real capacity girl but also doubt you're wrong lol 'dad did one for a reason...I'll protect you'] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like we're trying to hide which is obvs purely for the pisstake and not because we want to] Janis: [snuggling him back but in a really extra way to prove we're also in on the #bants of it all] Jimmy: ['you got a plan?' like is there anything you wanna do to fuck with the gals while we're there, blatantly still in the snugg as we say this] Janis: [thinking, not just to drag this whole experience out but you know, 'are we inviting them to the party?'] Jimmy: [drawing little ?s on her skin while she's thinking without thinking ourselves about how distracting that'd be or why we probably shouldn't rn 'depends'] Janis: [! when he's doing it but then doing it back to the depends] Jimmy: ['are we still their fake mates?' because lbr the temptation always to just tell them all to go fuck themselves and genuinely thinking about how she was gonna behave at this party if Janis wasn't there] Janis: [shrugs 'they're shit mates, we don't have to invite them and we could still use it later to fuck with them' like they'll get over the diss of not being invited so fuck it if we don't wanna] Jimmy: ['alright' boy you make me laugh does that mean you wanna invite them or you don't] Janis: [tickle him a bit like alright what, dickhead] Jimmy: [so fake offended like excuse you I'm not off my tits on Helena's pain meds today but we know he's actually okay because he's obvs ticking her back more than she did to him] Janis: [getting out 'I will kick you' but as a warning not a threat 'cos don't wanna actually injure you here boy] Jimmy: ['no you won't' lowkey sounds like a challenge there boy but we know you're saying she loves you too much 'not shit mates, us'] Janis: [a LOOK 'we're alright' 'cos didn't mean to drag you so much over a word, the feels are confusing and high] Jimmy: [return the LOOK 'and you are' because you're alright too still even though you did drag him 😏] Janis: [between 🤭 and 😳 like okay, I know, shh but we're not mad 'you' like you too bitch] Jimmy: [touch her hair like you've wanted to this entire time 'but this...' like this needs a word you won't drag me for because you've made such good choices gal 'not alright' because at the same time WE ARE AFFECTED AF] Janis: ['do something about it then' which IS a challenge but you know full well these kids are in and out/you have no time but do we care] Jimmy: [is going to pull her hair in that way that's meant to be playful and pisstakey but is saucy as all hell because of course he is] Janis: [trying so hard NOT to react and make a sound that the lip bite you have to do would be indecent Jimmy: [so indecent that he'd have to do his own while we run our thumb over her bottom lip like always] Janis: [kissing that thumb honey] Jimmy: [I hope the kids are busy because we're making a SOUND like it or not] Janis: [be in the bedroom playing happily tah] Jimmy: [you gotta because we're pulling her into our lap to kiss her] Janis: [we will let you have this 'cos you need to] Jimmy: [likewise gotta let him also pull whatever clothes he needs aside so he can do an epic lovebite somewhere where these kids nor the kids at this party can't see the massive bruise because they'd all have faded and that upsets me] Janis: [boo says not on my watch, I also sincerely hope mcvickers have gone somewhere for the day and don't just waltz in now because we are so into it] Jimmy: [soz but we've started something now without him stopping himself so we literally cannot stop, it has been forever since they last did any of this] Janis: [concerned he would never wanna again so we're doing the most rn] Jimmy: [I don't even need to say how into it he is] Janis: [bit rude of us to do this and send you to a kid's party but that's life] Jimmy: [I am that rude bitch] Janis: [if it wasn't rude to Bobby we'd just dump you on 'em but you know, this has dealt with some tension and increased the rest lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome but also I'm soz (I'm not though) hens] Janis: [gotta stunt on Asia so she can report back] Jimmy: [we shall and it'll be glorious] Jimmy: [I was thinking there should be a person there doing the kids' make up and nails because she's 7 going on 17 and so Bobby should get his painted Libi's fave colour and vice versa] Janis: [that's cute as hell, Libi acting like this makeup lady is a facepaint one like make me this tah] Jimmy: [don't worry gal, jimothy will paint your face for you when we leave this party and it will be bomb because I feel like the makeup woman is like that hairdresser woman in the duchess who wouldn't let her daughter sit in the car] Janis: [Luckily you to lil to be made to feel embarrassed just like hmm you're not very good are you like can't make me a tiger? bit shit hen lmao] Jimmy: [sass everyone gal JJ are here for it and you know they'd also ask her to facepaint them, just coming at her with ideas until she's like please stop] Janis: [this woman trying to paint pink nails and do some sparkly gloss and we're like challenge yourself babes, also gonna scran this party food it better be good fam] Jimmy: [I hope it tastes alright at least even if it looks tacky as hell lol] Janis: [at least you can't not go the sugar route at a kids bday, can't make 'em eat salads n water lol] Jimmy: [imagine everyone dancing please, JJ be dancing, Libi and Bobby, Libi and Jimothy and Janis and Bobby] Janis: [a whole mood, imagine everyone's faces at all times it's so amusing] Jimmy: [I can't wait for when Asia reports all of this back to Mia and she sees all the content everyone is posting] Janis: [when has a boy ever, the idea of even bringing one home horrifies y'all] Jimmy: [not at all soz that he's actually the softest boy ever and loves both of these bubs instead of whatever weird barista stereotype y'all thought] Janis: [they obvs thought he was 😎 stereotype for real like ok gals] Jimmy: [omg just saw on Pinterest these cards like who knows the bday girl best that you fill in and we have to have JJ fill in some for their own lols that they obvs aren't gonna give to this child but] Janis: [that's a must omg] Jimmy: [also there should be like a cupcake decorating station or something like that because the bubs would actually have fun doing that and JJ can be competitive doing theirs] Jimmy: [photobooth goes without saying but one where the photos come out and you can keep them because then we can have so many great mems thank you] Janis: [when we're just ignoring every guest lowkey love it] Jimmy: [obvs if there are kids in your class you fuck with Bobby you can proudly introduce Libi to them, cos let's assume they aren't all dicks] Jimmy: [and lowkey Libi can introduce Bobby because he's been too shy to talk to any of y'all] Janis: [statistically, some of you must be okay lol, also some kids lowkey like the shine of a 'different' kid and like to like help, which is cute even if it's a bit like oh you special, they don't mean it like that] Jimmy: [yeah at that age they are basically just trying to be nice and helpful so it's fine] Janis: [make some friends, Libi is v sociable so this should be fun and not as terrible as you worried, we got you babe] Jimmy: [at least if Libi has got this JJ can have a sec to themselves] Janis: [got to be couple #goals too, I mean we have been but like, keep Asia away] Jimmy: [because that's the ONLY reason honey not that we just wanna] Janis: [mhmm, obvs, not like we got interrupted from going there] Jimmy: [and we obvs think she's gonna just leave after this and go do whatever so we're trying to make the most of this time as if we won't shamelessly invite her in to have her face painted] Janis: [like where does she wanna be, she didn't even wanna beforehand but especially not now lol god bless] Jimmy: [like he probably thinks she wants to go 🐕🏃 for that 💰 but you could literally take these children with you sir] Janis: [like that is what we would do but we also want a life 'cos we've not for these last 3 going on 4 years and it's getting old] Jimmy: [the tea because likewise all he does is work and look after Bobby and Cass so we just wanna live our own life] Janis: [it's both what we want and good news guys you're gonna make it] Jimmy: [gonna be such good parents because you're already doing it now when you're literally 15 and not in a good headspace/situation] Janis: [letting you have fun first, we still gotta look after these kiddos but we're gonna get rid of Ian and Cass will be old enough to help and it'll all be better] Jimmy: [sounds like they are gonna kill Ian which makes me lol] Janis: [lmao, plottwist but no, lowkey what do happen to you Ian lordt] Jimmy: [please feel free to fuck off somewhere else like back up north sir] Janis: [that's a mood, like okay, bye then] Jimmy: [but anyway before we get derailed is there anything else you wanna do at this party or shall we skip?] Janis: [we probably know the vibes, we all had a good time despite the odds and the gals are gonna get the lowdown from Asia] Jimmy: [enjoy the walk back because the kids will be running ahead buzzing off all this sugar and their good time] Janis: [you should take both dogs out as y'all are buzzing, run off their energy too] Jimmy: [good idea because Twix do need to socialise too she's just a baby] Janis: [yeah Killer is a bit older now but she's still v excitable] Jimmy: [just two 🐕 gal pals] Janis: [love stories for all lollollol] Jimmy: [imagine all the artsy pics Jimothy would be getting like a little art hoe] Janis: [we're about it, such a family unit honestly it's wild] Jimmy: [I love it but not the awkward moment when they get back to mcvickers house to take Killer home and he has to be like are you coming to have your face painted or what because fully expecting her to be like nahhh] Janis: [DO YOU WANT YOUR FACE PAINTED BITCH, just seeming like we're like HELL YEAH 'cos we do wanna come] Jimmy: [also we should say mcvickers are back for the lols] Janis: [absolutely, we would've messaged them so they weren't like HELLO but now when we're going back to his it's like SeriousParentTime™] Jimmy: [maybe they won't let Libi sleep over so she's just coming for a bit because then once Bobby crashes they can actually live] Janis: [that makes sense for now, she's probably never had a sleepover outside of the fam because she's that small so go with that] Jimmy: [and lowkey we could potentially palm Bobby off on Cass to put to bed if they wanted to go to the pub or wherever because they are both serving lewks] Janis: [have walked the dog and had 'em all day, c'mon gal lol] Jimmy: [exactly but for now go and do your facepainting sesh because I vote that Bobby is a 🐺 seeing as it's like a dog upgrade and he's feeling himself today and that Jimothy gets the bae to do him as a 💀 for that flatwhite shade] Janis: [ooh, what do you wanna be gals] Janis: [hmm, Libi should ask for a galaxy moment 'cos Star, no pressure, get abstract lmao, maybe a vampire moment for you Janis] Jimmy: [let's not think about how up close and personal facepainting is lads] Janis: [but let's lmao] Jimmy: [please go return the favour of showing Libi your room and then like go on the trampoline or something children] Janis: [live your best lives so we can be here with our face paint on lol] Jimmy: [obvs offering her more tea] Janis: [just gesturing to our face like make it blood but obvs nodding 'cos duh] Jimmy: [he is a big enough nerd to like bring you a glass of water with red food colouring in it while the kettle boils] Janis: [🙄😏 'cos he's funny too hun] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna snatch that 🌹 out of her hair and put it in the water but obvs doesn't actually] Janis: [fake #shooketh 'no takebacks'] Jimmy: ['you wanna kill it an' all?' just flirting and sassing nbd] Janis: ['sure, blame me when you picked it' fake tut] Jimmy: [Oi, you inspired me, it is your fault' looks up dramatically to where Bill's ghost would be floating around 'and a bit his'] Janis: [flirty smiles at where Bill is like I don't mind hehe] Jimmy: [throw something at her like we're so fake jealous and fuming] Janis: [throw something back 'he can't help being a romantic'] Jimmy: [going to make that tea like uggggggggh] Janis: don't be jealous Janis: he 💕 you too Jimmy: he's just using me to get to you Jimmy: not as thick as I look Janis: how long were you chatting to asia Janis: sounds just like her Jimmy: if she's the unappreciated genius 🖋🎭 instead of me and my 🎨 FUMING Jimmy: plot twist too far, that Janis: 😂 Janis: think you're safe Janis: much to her 💔 Jimmy: I were a bit ago an' all, tah for that Jimmy: very 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: reckon you could take her in a fight but Janis: yeah Jimmy: not THAT northern, steady on Janis: you'd be doing her a favour Janis: 🦷🦷 Janis: so fuck that Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: if I were bothered about doing other lasses favours I'd open my DMs Janis: you've mentioned Jimmy: you want owt else while I'm here? Janis: all good Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm glad he ended up having a good time Janis: and not every kid in his class is a little twat Jimmy: only be 💔🎻😭 when she goes off home Jimmy: how it should be Janis: 😏 such a purist, you Jimmy: a what? Jimmy: sounds well like you're insulting us Janis: maybe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: LITERALLY just complimented you Janis: when? Janis: must be AGES ago Jimmy: I get it, you don't know how to tell time either Jimmy: it's alright, we'll work it out together Jimmy: [bring that tea in] Janis: [buzzing like we really need this tea, nothing to do with you] Jimmy: [we're totally also buzzing about this tea and not because she is, yep] Janis: [no one is this excited for a cuppa not even yous or us lol] Jimmy: [I like to think that he goes to kiss her and once again stops himself but this time it's only because of the face paint and we're looking in the direction of upstairs where the children are 'don't fancy having that Q&A' meaning Libi asking what happened if she appears and they have ruined it] Janis: ['she's a right cockblock' and what's meant to be a fake 😒 but we're not not lbr] Jimmy: [we're remembering when we played that game where you had to kiss without touching and reminding her about it like we could change the rules if you're up for that challenge] Janis: [nods 'cos don't trust ourselves to say ANYTHING about this idea] Jimmy: [picture this, he starts out by touching her hair OBVS because he's obsessed but then just gently pulling on her earlobe cos he would've put it in his mouth if he could've then going down her jawline and neck writing kiss or doing an ✔ depending on the surface area we have to play with using our fingertip and varying the amount of pressure depending if it would've been a hard or soft kiss and just doing that for all the skin that's available everywhere] Janis: [shan't because we can't cope and at least we can be obvious about that, these kids are busy and gotta do what we gotta do Jimmy: [gotta do what we've gotta do and we are doing the MOST on this sofa rn even though his entire family + Libi could appear any moment] Janis: [getting on top of you on this sofa even though it's a bad idea for all the above reasons, not to mention the eye contact it demands 'you're rude'] Jimmy: [but it's a good idea for the sound he would make when she did so we're unrepentant over here 'you' well done for getting the word out boy] Janis: [shaking her head and getting the most movement out of that 'you started it'] Jimmy: [pulling her even closer like yeah I did and I'm not soz] Janis: [running our finger across his neck like you should be 'Jimmy...' at least this would be quiet because we're that close but that's the only at least] Jimmy: [touching the lovebite he gave her earlier so deliberately with such intense eye contact like I am simply not though] Janis: ['takes the piss' and pouting 'cos literally vampire facepaint and she hasn't given him one yet] Jimmy: [running his thumb over that lip whilst doing his own pout because we wanna do the pouty lip bite thing SO BAD rn but we can't] Janis: [biting our lip where his thumb just was] Jimmy: [such a frustrated noise as if this wasn't his idea lol] Janis: [finally feeling like we've had a win there so we're smug] Jimmy: [tickling her like how dare you not also be dying here excuse you] Janis: [trying to pin his hands above his head like no no] Jimmy: [he's totally gonna end up pinning you to this sofa gal, just the sauciest playfight of all time happening] Janis: [we know we're breaking and we do not care, fight us Libi] Jimmy: [proud of you for lasting as long as you did tbh] Janis: [truly, have your lovebite and then some boy] Jimmy: [have to let you hook up here without anyone interrupting you or else you will both die] Janis: [have a quickie guys] Jimmy: [can't be dealing with your bad moods if you don't] Janis: [it has been days, which in your timeline is like nearly half of lmao so] Jimmy: [we all know you're extra] Janis: [gonna have to take Libi back soon gal] Jimmy: [everyone's gonna be gutted to be separated but the lads will walk you back because gentlemanly like that] Jimmy: [but for now have your tea that you're gonna have to put in the microwave because you never touched it] Janis: [my boo says HELLO] Jimmy: [also probably take your face paint off because I dread to think the state of it now] Janis: [the black face energy getting real lmao] Jimmy: [if you don't go do this together and mess about while you do by like having a water fight and only removing bits at a time so you look silly etc then I don't wanna know either of you] Janis: [obviously we must, also I think the bubbys paint should be a little smudged 'cos Libi keeps smooching him like my shameless boo] Jimmy: [so cute and I can imagine JJ just giving each other a look like 😏 because relatable] Janis: [gonna age Tess so hard gal] Jimmy: [be looking like her sim] Janis: [poor tess haha] Jimmy: [I really hope you don't actually put her through it as you're growing up hun, we've been through enough] Janis: [we do need to think about that now you exist in gen 4 kinda but like yeah, arguably we could also do bobby in the first part of the gen, ANYWAY THOUGH] Jimmy: [we could totally do some of them next if you want because we know they are gonna stay friends so] Janis: [cuteness and potential] Jimmy: [anyway is there anything else you wanna have happen before Libi goes home or no?] Janis: [we don't have to do it if you don't wanna but important to note you're obvs sleeping over right] Jimmy: [totally because I still think they should go out even if it's just to his local pub but it could also be in town out depending on the mood though I don't know how you're gonna be like DO YOU WANNA when you're yet again on this doorstep or wherever lol] Janis: [for sure, do something purely 'cos you wanna and there's no excuse or distraction] Jimmy: [exactly, because you obviously haven't yet since she got back] Janis: [or lowkey ever? you might've actually, xmas eve yeah nvm] Jimmy: [could be argued that the pub crawl was for content though whereas they literally don't need to do any more today so] Janis: [mhmm, we've slayed today, you could've gone home hun] Jimmy: [exactly and that's why this is so important but for real I don't know how he's gonna be like do you wanna not go in and come back with me yet again so there's that] Janis: [don't worry, you can probably just hook up and then be like may as well stay] Jimmy: [just throw Bobby at Cass when you get back and then you can leave] Janis: [though it might be a conversation™ 'cos she would go to leave if not immediately 'cos bit rude but early in the AM] Jimmy: [mhmm just gotta make himself too vulnerable by being like no no, hope you're at least a bit drunk guys] Janis: [sure you will be honeys, where do we wanna skip to then] Jimmy: [question is do we wanna do any of this night out and see what happens or just skip to the end? hm Janis: [always fun to do a night out, even if we skip around 'cos a lot of we know the vibe I'm sure but we can see peeps, things can happen, without it being drama central] Jimmy: [no drama please, we're trying to have a nice chill time] Janis: [exactly dr phil, and we can, there's been enough heightened emotions for a while and we've really brushed them under the rug tbh] Jimmy: [hence I'm like we should probably do this night out because when you're drunk stuff might come out] Janis: [pop off and let's ride lads] Jimmy: [the question is lads do you wanna go out out so we can really serve these lewks or stay local so you're less likely to see the world and his wife] Janis: [hmmmmm, I say go to town 'cos xmas eve you stayed local to her so go off] Jimmy: [that is true, lets go with that] Janis: [you can try and get in some of the more iconic dublin pubs and show him the sights so] Jimmy: [yeah because he wouldn't have been because he's only been here for like 2 months now and we know he's antisocial] Janis: [and you are but children, plus going out to drink on your own is depressing soz you can do lots of things alone but not that lbr] Jimmy: [literally he has done nothing since he moved here like we said before so I'm glad you have each other now] Janis: [unlikely we've done it before either 'cos age, like but we'll know where to go] Jimmy: [I vote you have to only order drinks that cliché tourists would] Janis: [really annoying cocktails they hate making etc] Jimmy: [and Guinness like you think you're doing something] Janis: [you'll be so full lol] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 🤰 Jimmy: 👶'll be 🍀💚🎩🌈 as fuck Janis: if it makes it Janis: 🥴 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 as you, obvs Janis: n'awh Janis: you 👍? Jimmy: I am now you've broke that news Jimmy: 😁 Janis: we're all buzzing Janis: reason to celebrate never needed when you're 🍀💚🎩🌈 but Jimmy: @iantaylor8 🏆 for most chuffed of all about the 🍀💚🎩🌈 bit Jimmy: 🍾🍻 Janis: not yours, basically white Janis: his round then? 😁 Jimmy: we'd need more luck than that to get him to 💰 owt now that 🎄 is done with Jimmy: have to kill and rob him Jimmy: but as far as celebrations go, wouldn't be 👎 Janis: let's come up  with plan #2 Janis: we can handle it Jimmy: how does the 👶 wanna do it? all about them now Janis: car bomb, obviously Jimmy: nod to its real dad Janis: pretty sure we did a big 💣 in manchester so ian will be #triggered Jimmy: just keep giving me more and more top news today, you Janis: kind of mate I am Janis: anything to see you 😁 Jimmy: [doing it IRL of course] Janis: [when he still looks good fuming tbh, squishing his face like ugh] Jimmy: [making it into a kissy face like you love me really] Janis: [pushing him away by his face but not as aggressive as that sounds and standing up to get more drinks in as Ian isn't gonna show] Jimmy: [pulls her back not as aggressive as that sounds either lol even though we know she's only leaving to get more drinks] Janis: ['oi!' and a look like whaaaaaa but it's a LOOK] Jimmy: [all the eye contact as he stands up and sit her down in his seat like no no not in your condition I will go] Jimmy: [*** unrelated to what we're doing now but I had an idea that earlier like when Bobby and Libi were doing their goodbyes cos don't need him to translate that Jimothy signed pub? at the bae in irish sign language because he doesn't know much yet and isn't trying hard to learn because he thinks they're gonna leave but he'd have learnt that as a pisstake anyway just wanted to put this here so I didn't forget that lil nugget of info my brain thought up at like 3am***] Janis: [love that for you boy, noted] Janis: [🙄 but loling like alright, if you wanna pay fine by me boy] Jimmy: [signing 'stay' from the bar because I feel like the bubs would've been doing that at Twix and Killer today so we can pretend that's purely pisstakey and no deeper] Janis: [🤨 but in a sassy manner] Janis: coming for my gig now? Jimmy: can't be taking 💰 off you that's 🍼 out the 👶's mouth Janis: you ain't gonna pay for it? Janis: rude Jimmy: OBVS, but I don't reckon 💀👑'll hear and crack on FINALLY 💰 me tips Janis: 💡 Janis: sleep with her dad, tell him it's his Janis: live off that hush 💰 Jimmy: more 🥇💡 DON'T but 🗨 you did after you've put something in his drink/ let him be a massive pisshead on it 'cause you understand him unlike his missus Jimmy: all we've faked up to now, DNA test'd be piss easy Janis: just have to snatch a bit of 💀👑's hair Janis: not hard Janis: saliva and we'd be fucked, dunno if she produces that any more Jimmy: have to hurry while she's still got hair Janis: bet #2 has some Jimmy: go round hers in a bit, can't wait, me Jimmy: 💭 if we found out 💀👑 weren't his Jimmy: they'd both be SO 💔🎻😭 to have to dump each other Janis: I wish Janis: only my family giving that level of drama Jimmy: 💔 you can't use 😭 to do a test, I'd have got Ian to crack on ages ago Janis: whoever's your dad is also Bobby's, that's for sure Jimmy: probably is him then, he ain't the sort to let his missus have bloke mates hanging round that long Janis: soz, mate Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: be a 🥇 looking 👶 at least Jimmy: all our shit parents got that bit right Janis: guess so Janis: tah for the genetics, I'll take it from here Jimmy: [bring those drinks boy and obvs get her up so you can sit back down in your seat and she can sit on you] Janis: [forever and always even though the eye contact it demands is cray, just smiling and drinking our drink] Jimmy: [likewise but also just doodling on her skin absentmindedly because we're in love and probably a bit drunk by now assumedly] Janis: ['you could do that for a job' we mean tattooist but that isn't very clear gal so we must be a lil tipsy] Jimmy: [shoutout to your future child, love that but obvs he's like ? and draws it on her] Janis: [just like ugh at ourselves 'tattoos and shit, you know' shrugs 'you got a plan?'] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we haven't let ourselves think about the future for so many reasons 'do you?'] Janis: ['nah' shakes head 'but I'll get by, don't need more, like'] Jimmy: [nodding because we get it and doing a cheers with this drink] Janis: [drink to that lads 'if anything, easier to walk dogs when I've got a car'] Jimmy: ['any time you wanna borrow Ian's, crack on' we're just thinking that he's too happy and settled rn and we need to annoy him more lol] Janis: [😏 and cheersing again like tah] Jimmy: number of 🐕s, should probably nick a 🚍 instead though Janis: can do that too Jimmy: can 😴 there an' all if you need to Jimmy: stretch out Janis: living in one seems like something my ma'd do though Janis: ❌ Jimmy: bet your shit nan's church group'd have their 👀 on it Janis: [visibly 😒] Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: [a lil feelsy lean like soz because we know she sucks even if we don't know what happened] Janis: [using it to push him off in a jokey get off kinda way, like you ain't sat on him rn] Jimmy: [messing about like you're both gonna dramatically fall off this chair but then lowkey hurting himself a lil bit though we're obvs playing that off as fake too but it's real because yet again we've had a very busy day and done so much as if we're perfectly fine] Janis: [picking him back up and steadying him like you okay boy? and nudging his drink towards his lips like that'll help] Jimmy: [down that drink boy] Janis: [just lowkey having a feel of his stomach/ribs etc like you gotta check] Jimmy: [😏 cos we're pretending she's doing it to flirt with us obvs like she just can't keep her hands to herself ever which is true but also shh sir] Janis: [going with it 'cos not not true and we know it makes him awks but we still wanna] Jimmy: [kissing her because we always just want to] Janis: [have this makeout sesh whilst giving him a massage casually] Jimmy: [excuse us people in this pub] Janis: [looks dodgier than it is frankly] Jimmy: [love how shameless you both are and how often you just behave like you're the only two people around] Janis: [we're so unbothered by other people unless they're really in our faces about it] Jimmy: [mhmm hence we're just saying we missed her and how much in between kisses because we have and we're obvs so into everything she's doing rn] Janis: ['did you?' 'cos 'course we don't believe him/it] Jimmy: [stop kissing her for long enough you can hold that eye contact so she knows you mean it but then kiss her more intensely obvs] Janis: [going in even harder 'cos definition of !!! about it] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's deserved and needed and it'll shut him up from saying any more for a sec] Janis: [saying nothing in this pub but people should do something/be staring or say something so we can move huuuuuuuun] Jimmy: [that's realistic so yes] Janis: [we going about this town] Jimmy: [twirl her like you would've done when you were at this kid's party earlier please boy] Janis: [dance down these streets but don't fall tah] Jimmy: [and don't knock into anyone either because we don't need that drama] Janis: [no fighting shakira shakira] Jimmy: [not tonight thank you] Janis: [we gotta get drunk and spill secrets] Jimmy: [confess as many feelings as we dare] Janis: [heheheh, getting shots in that vein] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: 🥃🥃🥃 Jimmy: 🥳🥳🥳 Janis: partying for 2 Jimmy: remind me to @ Asia 7 years from now to let her know how to throw a 🎁🎂🎈 that ain't all 💅💄 Janis: you ain't bad at face painting Janis: can have that Jimmy: tah very much Jimmy: be alright as long as Libi don't have me doing it whenever I see her Jimmy: be a bit weird if I have to carry a full face painting kit about Janis: you don't need to be that whipped Janis: won't hurt her to hear a nah every once and a while Jimmy: no need to be jealous, Jules Jimmy: you're still my muse Janis: piss off Jimmy: I'll 🥺🥺 for 2 if you make me Janis: go ahead Jimmy: [does] Janis: [regret 'cos we feeling all the things now] Jimmy: [carve that JJ love heart into the pub table like see you're my muse and ILY] Janis: [just tracing our finger round and round this heart] Jimmy: [literally is about to draw a heart on her and I'm like boy stop] Janis: ['your ex really cheat on you?' like why would he lie, but can't believe it] Jimmy: ['what kind of question is that?' because genuinely not something he expected her to ask rn] Janis: [a shrug like soz 'just what I was thinking about'] Jimmy: [a nudge but a gentle one 'what you thinking about her for?' sir she's thinking about you] Janis: [tuts like ugh, making me explain myself, how rude lol 'are you a shit real boyfriend or what?' like why would she if you were how you're faking now] Jimmy: [a shrug like 1. probably because the messy time after his mum disappeared 2. they were young af and neither of them had good role models clearly but we don't wanna really get into either of those things 'depends on the scale' like compared to who hun because lbr not an Ian or Mia's dad but we weren't #goals] Janis: [nods like we get it 'cos we do even though not personally like that might suggest, the shakes her head like let's move on 'cos accidentally brought the vibe down and we didn't mean to 'whatever, none of my business'] Jimmy: [leaves the ex's @ in this chat whatever it is like @ her for her POV if you like but irl we're shrugging again because we're so over her just not the mum mems of that era] Janis: 🤐 Janis: [dranking this drank faster] Jimmy: [nudges her like hey it's alright] Jimmy: *🔊 Janis: [😏 'not there yet' like let's go back to bants] Jimmy: where are you then? Janis: 🥺 of course Janis: you're quite inspiring too Jimmy: show me Janis: [😳 and can't do it back 'cos now we've got the giggles like stop it] Janis: can't just 👏 like Jimmy: [we're just 😍 af because she's adorable bye] Jimmy: alright, if there's no 👏 have to take back that 🌹 and your 🏆s Jimmy: go together them Janis: well now I'm 😠 Janis: [does that instead] Jimmy: [does a 📷 mime and then wordlessly goes to get her some kind of forfeit drink for not being oscar worthy af] Janis: [doing it now he's further away 'cos easier] Jimmy: you're rude, said it earlier Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: [points] Jimmy: [signs it which I lowkey do think is just a point but anyway] Janis: 👆 Janis: the point emojis are crap Jimmy: 💔 Janis: looks more come here Janis: which don't not work rn but Jimmy: but do come here Janis: [making our way over, of course] Jimmy: [checking her out as she does obvs and when she does get there gesturing like get this barman's attention please because it's busy but she's a hot girl so she'll have more luck] Janis: [do the least to do the most such is your privilege babe] Jimmy: [kiss her like thank you because we weren't trying to stand there all night] Janis: [the barman like aw lmao] Jimmy: #👻problems Janis: #🍆problems Jimmy: fuming if it's a not a lass serving next Janis: fuming if it is, obvs Jimmy: if you're 😠 again, I'll be back at chuffed to bits Jimmy: so cute Janis: [fake punches him] Jimmy: [writes hate across her knuckles because I am not letting you write love boy stop it] Janis: [takes off the e by pretending to cut off the pinky] Jimmy: [😏 and draws the 🎩 on the back of her hand for that irish af vibe] Janis: [writes 'pot' on the other hand like there you go, pot of gold too] Jimmy: [draw a 🌈 on that one and 💰] Janis: [lols like lovely 'told you you had a future in it'] Jimmy: [just shaking his head because we can't take a compliment] Jimmy: you gonna name this 👶 something I can't pronounce or what? Janis: [raising our brows sassily like not hard] Janis: you can name it Janis: guilt trip move Jimmy: 🤔🤔💭 Jimmy: What's Mia's daddy's name? Jimmy: got a lie to sell here Janis: 🤔 Janis: maybe Michael or something, idk Janis: Miles Jimmy: Miley he'll love that Janis: meet your new sister Mia Jimmy: sister and step mum Janis: not even weird for me Jimmy: Libi must've missed that bit when she were doing the family tree Janis: thank fuck Janis: only so much you need to hear Jimmy: what were it you said about my ages old 💔? Jimmy: nowt to do with me, that Janis: nor me Jimmy: I told you before, up to you what you wanna 🗨 Janis: you pick Jimmy: your full list's all I want Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [one back always] Jimmy: you owe me the one Janis: true Janis: remind me what I've said Jimmy: 1. 🚬👃 2. 🎤🗨 3. 💋 4. 🖕✌️🤟 is a might be, you never said it were or weren't for definite 5. 🤝 6. 💫 dunno what else to do for freckles so Janis: [impressed he remembered 'cos obviously did not just look through like my boo just had to lol] Janis: don't wanna repeat, wouldn't be fair Jimmy: [when it's really important to you because you literally told her in that convo that nobody has ever been this nice to you and it's obvs true] Jimmy: so go on Janis: it's unfair you took 👀s Janis: when yours are like ☀️ Janis: but I like your brows too Jimmy: you're ☀ Jimmy: and you know I'm fuming you took 💋 an' all Jimmy: but we've both got smell on there so I'm not gonna stop you rating what you rate Janis: take it as a whole Janis: you have pretty lashes too Janis: it's Jimmy: that'll get out of hand when I just say your entire face Jimmy: or your whole body Janis: everything about you Jimmy: that an' all Janis: [and I oop, just like our drink looks so interesting rn because dying] Jimmy: [a soft 'hey' because of course like 👀 at me] Janis: [you gotta look up gal 'yeah?' also soft] Jimmy: [gestures at her to come here like you literally didn't just get kicked out of a pub for this] Janis: [do though who are we] Jimmy: [we're softly but insistently kissing the bae's throat like we can coax words out cos so much we wanna say and so much we wanna hear] Janis: [the noise we are making, running our hands through his hair goes to gripping it 'you're not-' 'I'm supposed-' can we finish a sentence? no] Jimmy: [just doing it again like do you wanna finish a sentence gal and not at all because of her other reaction of course not] Janis: ['stop it' but in the most don't stop tone imaginable 'cos at least that's a sentence] Jimmy: [we're not but we are smooching the side of her neck instead] Janis: ['coming for my gig again' and moving to the side so you've gotta smooch for reals] Jimmy: [have a lil make out lads] Janis: [again lollol] Jimmy: [can't and won't be tamed, we're doing what we want tonight] Janis: [speaking of, you should get some good scran, idk what but I'm sure there's some bomb takeout vibes] Jimmy: [definitely, I doubt there was much savoury food at that party] Janis: [you can walk n eat n mayhaps talk hmm] Jimmy: [and snuggle because it's probably cold] Janis: [even if it's stopped snowing, deffo] Jimmy: [obvs just nudging her as you go along like you alright? because this boy loves checking in] Janis: [nudges him back like aren't you?] Jimmy: [smiling because we're having a lovely time] Janis: [😍 'good'] Jimmy: [😍 and doing the handhold swingy thing as we walk] Janis: ['you're alright, you know, not boring' just sounds like you thought he was but we mean in comparison to other peeps] Jimmy: ['when did you reckon I were boring? but we're amused 'bit rude'] Janis: [a face like oi but also amused 'no, I just didn't know you weren't before'] Jimmy: ['I knew you weren't' which makes you sound like a stalker or something lol but we're too drunk to think that through clearly] Janis: ['no you didn't' not just to be contrary we're just like lies lmao] Jimmy: [his own oi face 'wouldn't have picked you if I didn't' because true] Janis: [just narrowing our eyes like suspish but okay 'well I knew you didn't chat shit constantly, or try hard like most lads do' shrugs like bitch I noticed you too] Jimmy: [🤐 mime like well yeah I don't say anything and shrugging back 'no need' because he doesn't feel like he has anything to brag about genuinely and obvs we don't have any reason to try hard for the people we don't care about] Janis: [just gesturing like yes, my point exactly 'don't stop 'em, does it'] Jimmy: [gets out the phone we've literally not looked at all night, frowns at it and puts it back without actually bothering to do anything except make a point 'the lasses either, but that's not the kind of dickheads we are'] Janis: [shakes her head like no we are not and puts her hand out for him to shake] Jimmy: [does and then does pull her in for a hug because always 'chuffed it were you' from within this hug] Janis: ['we've done a good job' also from within the hug] Jimmy: [shaking his head because we don't wanna call it a job when literally you always do sir and also that now looks like you don't think this is going well] Janis: [looking at him when you pull back like ? because how it looks] Jimmy: ['not just a shift I'm putting in, you'] Janis: ['I dunno why I had a go about that' just like how cringe of me to show I gave a shit ugh] Jimmy: ['don't you?' and a shrug 'alright then' like oh are we just pretending we don't give a shit tonight okay cos we're sassy] Janis: [little lol 'don't take the piss' 'you know what I mean. meant. whatever'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like me that' 😏 because she literally said he's not a dickhead but he takes the piss] Janis: [getting SO close and making him stop walking so you can whisper in his ear 'it sounds exactly like you' and nipping his earlobe when you say 'sounds'] Jimmy: [saying 'fuck' with SO much feeling how they do] Janis: [nods like that's what I want to and looks around like we picked the wrong location lol] Jimmy: [looks in the direction they'd have to go to retrace their steps like if you wanna go we can go because Ian's stash forever] Janis: [follows his gaze like we could but eventually shakes her head 'we've got time, more places you need to see first if you wanna be a proper tourist'] Jimmy: [nods because 🥇 or nowt is the mantra but we're kissing her really hard first so she knows we're not just chill and we feel the tension and want the same things] Janis: [have your moment and take one before the next location] Jimmy: [for once I doubt you're the only peeps being extra at least such are the joys of town] Janis: [people always cracking on you're fine, even if you cared, which we are far beyond] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [full drunk by now, never mind all our feels] Jimmy: [they should go somewhere they can do some grooving because not something they've done a lot of because of her ankle happening] Janis: [good thinking boo, hit the clerb, whole different vibe] Jimmy: [how cinematic when juxtaposed against the dancing at the kids party earlier lol] Janis: [day and night honey] Jimmy: [another good excuse for more shots because you can't dance and hold a big drink] Janis: [ooh, maybe Harry could be there Janis: we can just see and ignore him but intro that 'cos haven't yey] Jimmy: [I just nearly gasped because yes we do need to do that before all the sports stuff starts and she runs into him in a way she can't swerve] Janis: [it seems legit you could be out with your mates boy, you could be a bit older/look it too, it's believable you ain't the gals, maybe if she's getting drinks or Jimmy is he can come up but it'll look like just another random tryna hit her up] Jimmy: [that seems legit to me too] Janis: [but obviously it'd put her in some type of mood] Jimmy: [might also open a line of dialogue though so] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [what way round do you wanna do it because obvs if he goes to get drinks and comes back to find them talking or whatever he'll be like bitch excuse me but if she was getting drinks and runs into him that way he won't even see Harry/know about that interaction] Janis: [maybe he goes to get them, it makes it easier, even if Harry literally walks away as he comes back 'cos that kind of snekk, he'd still see but they always getting hit on so he wouldn't assume that was responsible and be like oh I get it, yknow] Jimmy: [he'll just be like 🤨 looking him over as Harry walks away  but yeah not concerned and more jokey because it does happen always and he knows she can handle it] Janis: [just 😒 watching him go] Jimmy: [handing her these shots because we just think like we said he's a stranger and she'll be over it in a sec] Janis: [down it with vigour hun] Jimmy: [likewise because that's just how shots are, you gotta go in] Janis: [ick] Jimmy: [have never enjoyed a single one I've ever had but they are not J potato] Janis: [who is babe, go get your groove on aggressively] Jimmy: [hope it's not a slow jam and I especially hope Harry is not also hitting the dancefloor with some gal] Janis: [oh lawd, we're not doing that cliche of catching eyes dancing with other people boy, I think not] Jimmy: [you think you're that important Harold but you're honestly not] Janis: [accidentally making him think you're that into him, nah] Jimmy: [but anyway I shall start a convo when we've been dancing for an age and you're clearly still 😒 hun] Jimmy: What? Janis: what do you mean what? Jimmy: what's wrong? Janis: what do you reckon makes clubs smell so bad Janis: apart from all the sweat, that's obvious Jimmy: answer me, dickhead Janis: I'm alright, seriously Jimmy: bollocks Janis: ugh Janis: it's nothing though Jimmy: *something Jimmy: you wanna go outside? Janis: [mimes 🚬] Janis: sure Jimmy: [taking her hand like let's go] Janis: [smoking area moment, not like you'll be alone they're always packed] Jimmy: [lighting you both up and giving her a sec] Janis: ['just know that lad' shrugging like that explains that] Jimmy: ['and what?' because we're not letting it just drop] Janis: [after a while thinking and stopping and starting 'and- everyone else is a dickhead, yeah'] Jimmy: how much of a dickhead is he? Janis: no more than average, I suppose Janis: 💪🍆🔥👑 Janis: you know the sort Jimmy: yeah, what I dunno is why you're so bothered Janis: just didn't fancy seeing anyone I knew out Jimmy: you barely did do Janis: then let's go somewhere else after this Janis: forget about it Janis: [smiling at him like it's not fake but we're forcing this vibe rn] Jimmy: can you? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry Janis: he's just some twat Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's alright Janis: its not Janis: we're having a nice time Janis: meant to be Jimmy: I meant, he's doing your head in, you're not doing in mine Jimmy: we're alright Jimmy: nice is a bit rude though, as descriptions go Janis: [a LOOK up like 😏] Janis: how'd you describe it then Jimmy: not like we're sat in having a ☕🍪 with our kid and his missus Jimmy: but if you need a review then Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: that'd be it Janis: are you saying that's the definition of nice or a better time Janis: either way I have some questions Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: it's obvs the definition of nice 👵👴💕 Janis: [shakes head as we get up like oh you 'leave you to it then'] Jimmy: [not letting you go gal putting his arms around her like no no 'Oi, I just gave you a top review, what more do you want?'] Janis: ['can always do better' and taking his hand like let's go, stay outta our way Hazza we got places to be] Jimmy: ['than you rating me boring and nice, yeah' but we're amused of course and doing another twirl as we go] Janis: ['I did not!' and a pouty face like how dare YOU suggest I did] Jimmy: [thank god we can do the pouty lip thing this time and nothing can stop us] Janis: [freedom] Jimmy: [You're welcome lads] Janis: [y'all can do what you want like going to the toilets and living that cliche moment] Jimmy: [not the first time, we all remember pub crawl, but it would be busier so pluses and minuses to that] Janis: [we gotta for a myriad of reasons still not about you though Harry but you've put us in a mood to prove some things so tah] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [get out of this clerb and into a different one, better or worse, idk what's more fun tbh] Jimmy: [again it's not about you Harold] Janis: [soz we have such a dramatic reaction to seeing you lmao like hell to the no] Jimmy: [it's deserved you're not a good egg] Janis: [we'd be more chill if we weren't drunk, like he's just gonna come over and ruin everything, he might try tbf, run lads and continue grooving] Jimmy: [we're on a touristy tour here sir gotta move along] Janis: [you are not invited good day, back on the shots shots shots] Jimmy: [don't at all look forward to seeing you soon hun] Janis: [at least we're not doing the grace of it all now, although, continuously triggering everyone 'cos that's what they think Liam did with Edie to be around Rio, which yeah at first but shh] Jimmy: [the temptation to do that again now you've said that lol] Janis: [yeah, it came to me as I typed it lol] Jimmy: [fuck it let's do it, we can totally make him her baby daddy for that hot sec to really trigger everyone haha] Janis: [no offence to your barrenness but THANK GOD don't actually need babies from lies] Jimmy: [I can't do that to you gal even if we could] Janis: [would not be cute, he'd be tryna pay for your abortion like] Jimmy: [it's so far from #goals as is nobody needs that] Janis: [it's even worse than drew and caleb soz my love but no, hence ali had to be like no no in that convo we did when we did it before] Jimmy: [but what if that's when she gets her nose ring because it's like a Cameron trying to get Nicki to wear Chloe's lipstick situation!] Janis: [🤢 OMG, you can use all the really tryhard stuff of late, like, we know you would babe] Jimmy: [Sammi's moment of trying to be black will actually be useful to me, who knew] Janis: [just thinking about the wurls wig and dying 'cos it looked so bad oh gal] Jimmy: [HARD SAME] Janis: [and I oop, we're gonna lose our mind with you] Jimmy: [the drama] Janis: [oh lord] Jimmy: [anyways back to this, do you wanna do a skip or have you got things you wanna have happen rn off the back of this Harry situation?] Janis: [we can probably skip to going home even? we know how the nights gonna go and it'll be fun and feelsy but that's the STAY of it all] Jimmy: [true I just didn't wanna rush you gal if you had stuff you wanted to say or do before that so] Janis: [nah we good I just wanted to establish him so when he crops back up later we've got this vague memory like oh] Jimmy: [it was a good way to do it boo, good thinking] Janis: [big brain booty] Janis: [where would you like to hook up/where are you then gonna try to leave from] Jimmy: [do you wanna be at his gaff or are you thinking before they get there?] Janis: [his makes sense for going to mcvickers after] Jimmy: [be having a nightcap and all the sauciness that entails but then try and leave gal] Janis: [like gotta go before anyone wakes, sure you're being well loud tbh lads but okay] Jimmy: [as excuses go a very legit one and also the bubs do wake up well early like what time even is it] Janis: [but also who cares you've been on a minibreak together] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [baby its cold outside Jimmy: [what's your vibe like is she gonna say anything or is she just casually getting ready to leave?] Janis: [I think just getting ready when she thinks he's passed out but we're drunk so we're clearly not making a good go of doing it stealth here lol] Jimmy: [obvs gonna chuck something at her then like excuse you] Janis: [#shooketh and thus doing angry whispers 'what was that for dickhead?!'] Jimmy: ['where you going?' as if that's not obvious because we're drunk so it's not] Janis: [dramatically shushing him which in itself is louder than you're being already probs 'trying not to wake anybody up here'] Jimmy: [a sarcastic but amused 👍 because that's going well and then repeating our question] Janis: [throwing whatever he threw at us back like don't be fucking rude 'home' which you gotta stop saying when you mean mcvickers 'cos sounds like you planning to trek] Jimmy: [catching it and being really proud of ourselves with our expression but then frowning because we do think she means she's going home 'you're not, there's no buses for ages' because again what weird am is this lol] Janis: [😏 and a sassy fake clap for him 'Oh, I mean my nans' like my bad 'before he's getting up for work or...whatever'] Jimmy: [dramatically shushing her for the clap like she did to him a sec ago 'it's the weekend' because it is 'only dickheads like us do Sundays'] Janis: ['oh' when you genuinely forgot but now it seems like you lyin' lmao] Jimmy: [when you get up v dramatically to be up in her grill like 👀 cos are you lying gal but when we're standing there we just get distracted by like moving her hair out of her face and fixing her clothes and generally being soft and close and helpful] Janis: ['you-' and then getting distracted by his lack of clothing for a sec like oh '-you don't have to be nice, you know'] Jimmy: ['stop calling me nice, dickhead' but softer than the words suggest and not just because we are this close and whispering] Janis: ['stop being nice then' in a challenge type of way] Jimmy: [push her back onto this bed boy but in a hot way not a dangerous one] Janis: [definition of that 😈 tbh] Jimmy: [whatever she's managed to put on he's taking off, RIP to this dress or whatever if you don't survive] Janis: [running our fingers through his hair again for the throwback to earlier 'you're SO nice, baby'] Jimmy: [giving her a massive lovebite near to wherever he did that first one way earlier and going as hard for that throwback as well because we're 😈 ] Janis: [when you're egging him on telling him how nice he is over and over but then you do the biggest gasp] Jimmy: [going over the OG one as well because it's right there tempting us 'I'll do whatever you want for as long as you're here, nice, not nice, owt else' like don't go gal] Janis: [just about getting out 'but what do you want?'] Jimmy: ['you' because true and we're drunk so we can answer a question 'I keep saying I don't want you to go anywhere' because he literally said it on the school trip in those words when they were doing an activity and having a little domestic and god knows how many times we've either said it or tried to make it clear since] Janis: ['me...' which we ALMOST phrase as a question, such is our disbelief/how much we've been caught off guard by that despite how obvious it is to us all but it's okay catch up gal 'and I keep saying you can have me' because we have and we mean it] Jimmy: ['you say it but then you- look and gesture towards the door like you were literally trying to leave and you know we're thinking about when she properly left] Janis: ['I never wanna stay if you want me to leave' a pause like I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense now you've said that but 'because I wanna be with you a lot...like all the fucking time and-'] Jimmy: ['I don't want either of us to leave' the tea and also how sad and soft his voice would be about that because we think it's looming over us 'if I had any fucking choice, I'd pick this, just give me the same back'] Janis: [kissing him hard, but not JUST kissing him like we usually would when we can't say what we want/don't know what to say 'okay' just as sad but serious like this ain't no game 'I'm scared but okay'] Jimmy: [holding her but not JUST how he would when he doesn't want her to go 'it's alright, when you're about, I'm not' like you can be scared gal cos I feel safe with you and it's the only time I ever do so I've got this] Janis: ['that's why I am' from deep inside this hug like we barely saying it but we are] Jimmy: ['bit of pressure, I get it' because we know we're saying there that everything else is shit and you're the only good thing keeping us going and that's a lot] Janis: [shaking our head 'I mean-' big sigh 'cos even if we're drunk it's a lot to say '-the more amazing it is now, the more there's going to be to miss'] Jimmy: ['there were loads to miss ages ago' because lbr the moment you started this you were in too deep and deeper than you've been with anyone else 'it weren't like owt else I've felt kissing any other lass soon as we had that first go at it' drunkenly spilling that tea] Janis: ['Ive never felt anything before' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['alright, no need to one up me that hard' cos you don't believe that's even possible lowkey when she clearly feels so much with you] Janis: [soft nudge 'I can't help the truth'] Jimmy: [one back obvs 'as competitions go, not fuming to lose this one'] Janis: ['I have kissed other people' like don't think he thought you were saying that but okay] Jimmy: [a sound like yeah obvs/no shit because we weren't thinking that 'but they were shitter at it than whatever review of me you're gonna @ my ex for, I get it' because not letting go that she brought that up but we're not mad about it still just amused] Janis: ['must be' shrugs 'knock to the ego can't hurt' not gonna go drunk text him the shade though tah 'was not, I was just asking a question' like stop it but we're not mad really] Jimmy: ['I don't care about how them dickheads feel, her included, just you'] Janis: [smile 'I can get behind that'] Jimmy: [smile back 😍] Janis: ['you're the cutest person I've ever seen' and putting our fingers in his dimples like oop] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we can't help even as we shake our head because no gal you are 'need to look in the mirror more, you'] Jimmy: [lowkey trying to drag her to where the nearest mirror is like is that even this room or are you trying to go to the bathroom? boy shh] Janis: [don't actually wake this bub you're lowkey too drunk to deal with him boy, 'cos we're so amused and playfighting him as silently as we can like noooo 'you you you'] Jimmy: [thank god we made him deaf because Libi would 1000% be awake by now lol, just drunkenly taking so many pictures of her face and so many weird close ups as we playfight and showing her them all like no look it's you] Janis: [just a fight to delete them as if 1. you look bad in any really 2. he's just gonna post them all rn] Jimmy: [we know you just wanna fight so he can pin you again for that saucy throwback] Janis: [obvs, we do not need to deny] Jimmy: [we'll let you have that moment and ensuing hook up during which you can call her baby in a way that is not at all a pisstake for the first time because we're drunk and feelsy enough for this] Janis: [just die bye, safe to say you won't be trying to go anywhere after that] Jimmy: [you gotta snuggle and snooze and be happy]

[thesecretattic]

Ignore all my typos or punctuation marks/lack thereof, I’m not well at all, I’m numb head to toe and cold too and my pressure or breathing keeps getting shallow. I’ll have to remind myself that Aneri DOESN’T exist, she never did actually and that’s how he saw it too considering whatever I’ve shared here:

A - No one cares about my life in fact people are okay with letting someone die in front of them (because of them) ‘cuz they hate you so much that they are willing to commit a murder, they think no one’s watching.

B - He was trying to test not just my patience but also my character (I’ve shared most of the things on FB - Zara Sauleh) I can’t be defined, I’ve got a multidimensional & dynamic persona, you won’t be able to read me like that, I’ve met so many ppl from his field and they all have only one job other than F*cking, they love stereotyping girls and putting them in different categories, dude I’m not a “cliché” like you’ll, when you can’t make a girl feel SPECIAL at least don’t generalise her, how dare you? Is that why you’ll approach us on dating apps? To put us down? I’m the rarest of the rare… I’m irreplaceable and unforgettable, I’m both special and elusive. Maximum men from the TV industry are misogynistic, they only know how to use and throw. This is what reminded me of that and what gave rise to the “Manwh0re” theory https://www.facebook.com/100004442831729/posts/pfbid0gtNpJz5meFuEFrKkx3KRghXK7onGiZjY8XqrwdtqDqpjfTZvgJYaoZ8MUrEVH7Mtl/?d=n Somewhere in 2016-17 He created an account on Kik and Skype (new) with shirtless photos, when I was speaking to him as Aishwarya (sock puppet ID) I had mentioned Kik and Omegle and asked him if he was there on those apps and he had said he wasn’t. Here: He had made me so conscious about my looks that I had started posting half selfies as in just the chin and pout (I loved lipsticks ever since I was a kid but I wasn’t allowed to wear ‘em, after meeting him I started dressing up even more and I was living again after having a traumatic childhood and past I was only 20) so I would decide the whole look with different lip colours and lipglosses and I would always highlight my eyes and lips more when it came to makeup, there are two types of photos - Titillating and Anonymous, as a 20 year old I saw the 3/4th of my face chin-pout as the latter, so girls would either click selfies with hands on their face or hair or just the 3/4th part to look anonymous or random cuz we are made to feel extremely conscious about our looks… and even then those men mock us and make fun of these selfies, it’s easy to do that it’s difficult to survive even after bearing so much derision from the opposite gender. I’ll cut through the details now, so I wanted to click random, anonymous, mysterious (but not by any means sensual) selfies so I would just click the 3/4th part or sometimes even hands with finger rings, etc. Secondly when I asked him if he was on those apps Kik and Omegle, it was because of some other reason which I’ll share after writing what he did. He created an account on Kik for her/me (even though he wasn’t there on Kik before) and kept a shirtless DP and since Omegle has started focusing more on its Webcam version (and it’s primarily known for that now) he downloaded Skype, created a new account there and uploaded a shirtless pic on that too… He used his adult mind, I was 20, he was 7 years older so he used that and he wanted to “test” me, he thought I was asking him all that because Kik was as a sexting app (thanks to lascivious bots 🤖) and Omegle was also known as that. These were my reasons - I had seen Kik in my brother’s phone, I thought it was a messenger and I liked the notification buzz, the image and sound quality and multitude of options you had there to share links, embed links, gifs, images, videos, an in built internet browser for multi-viewing and it had games too with multiplayer… I was suggesting Kik cuz I had no friends and no one to talk to and I wanted to use that app since long, I was bullied on BBM and I felt it was jinxed this is exactly why I was initially reluctant to share my BB pin and he was trying to take out that grudge; I wanted him to move to some other alternative… so I suggested this app, it was faster too and less glitchy than BBM

I also named Omegle because of this - I knew he hated me because my looks were not good enough so I thought I won’t be a spoilt sport and I’ll still try to see if he could get less superficial and get to know the real me as in the person I was on the inside (as a 20 year old I thought I’ll give it a shot) I suggested him that to see if he was there so that I’ll get to talk to him anonymously, you can connect with people via similar interests as in same keywords for a text chat (not talking about video calling) I thought I’ll put some keywords in his mind and he might use them there, I didn’t want to deceive him or anyone, I just wanted a fair chance, I don’t even dress up anymore, my life is a mess I’m sick 24 x 7 I get abused I’m bed ridden so I don’t click any selfies now but everytime I use random aesthetic pics for my DP I feel like “justifying it” cuz again my intention is not to deceive people, otherwise I wouldn’t have said that I’m ugly now or more ugly (in his case) cuz I was always ugly for him. Next, when I was in a better state to write (a few years ago) I once challenged God to connect me with some Human on Omegle who wud talk about Ghosts and stuff, cuz there are several bots there as well who send automated messages like “Hey you wanna be my Sugar daddy Xx” I was so angry that day I challenged him at 10:00 in the night and in the first attempt itself I was connected to someone from Australia who was super excited to talk about paranormal stuff & he had many real life ghost stories to share and so did I, you know I have plenty of them… at least I wasn’t “boring” for him.

[eledritch]

MORE disturbing kids’ books

@anira8884 I never read this book thankfully bc I just googled it and...this is horrifying???

also I’m making this into its own post bc THERE ARE SO MANY DISTURBING KIDS’ BOOKS, FRANKLY. feel free to share your own traumatic ones, but these are mine (some of which I was delighted by, not traumatized, but are still weird):

A Wrinkle in Time....firstly, weird fuckin book about creepy kids, creepy space centaurs, chummy tentacle monsters, and most horrifying of all, still terrifies me to this day is this giant brain (as in, literal disembodied pulsing brain) called IT which takes over people’s minds. WHY ARE THEY MAKING A MOVIE FOR THIS I DIDN’T NEED THAT. i’m not putting an image for this bc u don’t need it either

The Phantom Tollbooth. Specifically, the faceless man character called the Terrible Trivium who, SparkNotes now tells me, is a literal demon who forces ppl to do menial tasks for eternity, great. SLENDERMAN GOT NOTHING ON THIS DUDE.

On a lighter note, do y’all know those Bunnicula books? GOD I LOVED THOSE BOOKS. VAMPIRE BUNNY WHO SUCKS VEGGIES DRY, COMEDIC GOLD, 10/10 i owned the entire boxed set no regrets

The Chronicles of Narnia because SPOILER ALERT i think the biggest plot twist of my entire life is still the fact that they all dIED IN A TRAIN CRASH WTF CS LEWIS I GET YOUR HEAVEN ALLEGORY BUT I DONT LIKE IT. i also own this entire boxed set too and there’s some weird/disturbing stuff in all the books, pretty much. Especially the stuff with all the witches (the Green Witch literally enslaved a prince as her puppet for years), and the dying world of Charn or whatever, yikes, also like if you consider that the animals can talk and are as sentient as humans then the books get REALLY messed up.

The Graveyard Book. I love Neil Gaiman but the beginning of this book is literally a boy’s entire family gets brutally murdered and it messed me up bc i was way too young hahaha good book but like damn

The Stinky Cheese Man & Other Fairly Stupid Tales (actually rly good & funny books but the aRT STYLE, WHY, IT’S LIKE A RANSOM NOTE IN CHILDREN’S BOOK FORM, PLEASE SCROLL THROUGH THE IMAGES)

The Tale of Desperaux. Yeah that animated mouse movie except IT WAS DARKER AS A BOOK TRUST ME. the whole PREMISE is messed up - a runty mouse is outcast from his family and falls in love with a human princess, he talks to her and his own mice family BANISHES HIM TO THE DUNGEON where I’m pretty sure he wanders around in the dark, death imminent, until he finds a creepy blind jailor who bribes him and makes Desperaux tell him a story before he frees him (this jailor later STARVES TO DEATH), then this country girl is literally SOLD to a dude who beats her until she’s nearly deaf (I distinctly remember the books described her ears as cauliflowers) and she has delusions of being a princess and later cuts off Desperaux’s tail and kidnaps the human princess in the dungeon and GOOD BOOK BUT ALSO WHY. WHY.

come to think of it, kate dicamillo just liked to fuck us all up, she also wrote because of winn-dixie and a book called The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane which is basically about this china rabbit doll who gets dumped off a cruise ship and goes through a cycle of owners including a 4 yr old girl with tuberculosis who i’m pretty sure dies. 

anyway, LONG POST BUT IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONS, BY ALL MEANS, ADD EM

[gingervsblondie]

Blondie Meets the Boss (1939)

11:30 PM, Friday, 20 September 2019

Checked Wikipedia. This movie has the same writer, same director, and same actors as Blondie. No regenerations yet.

Welp, I checked the Wiki article for the last movie in the series, same actors still across the board. 12 years later not only was Penny Singleton still Blondie and Arthur Lake still Dagwood, but Larry Simms was still baby Alexander and the same dog Daisy was still playing their dog whose name is also Daisy. 

So uh. I mean, variety’s out the window. I have committed myself to 27 more movies with all these same people. And dog.

Guess I should stop stalling then and start the damn thing huh.

OH JESUS THERE WERE TWO TV SHOWS.

So.

So there’s 26 episodes of the 1957 series, which kept Arthur Lake as Dagwood and recast everyone else, plus a pilot with someone named Hal Le Roy as Dagwood. The 1968 series had the child actors who played Charlie Brown and Lucy in A Boy Named Charlie Brown, so as a Peanuts fan I have that to look forward to. Peanuts being a comic strip that I’ve actually read extensively. See I could’ve dedicated myself to watching every Peanuts special. But that wouldn’t be funny. Also I probably have already. That series had 14 episodes, 13 of which aired before the show got cancelled.

Which, all in all, seems… maybe do-able?

Jesus that can’t be right, apparently that’s 13 hours of Blondie.

You know what?

This might take longer than I thought.

But I can’t be defeated yet. It’s day one.

It may take me longer than I thought, but I believe I can do this. I can watch all of Blondie.

Not because I want to. Not because anybody asked me too. Not even because it’s a remotely practical thing to do.

But for the goof.

I’ll do it for the goof.

For you.

So let’s keep going, shall we?

Blondie Meets the Boss.

Once I check Wikipedia and make sure there’s nothing else.

...

Alright there’s a radio series with Lake and Singleton. It was concurrent with the movies. There’s 42 half-hour episodes. They’re all on the Internet Archive.

...Fuck. I’m sorry, I’m not committing to those right now. Eventually I’ll get to them. Eventually.

There’s some animated cameos in Popeye and things like that, I’ll skip those until I get all completionist about this when I’ve watched everything else. And there’s two animated specials that Marvel made in the 80s. Those I can watch. I can watch 2 specials.

You know, after the 28 movies.

But before the 40 episodes of TV.

And the 42 episodes of radio.

This seemed less daunting when all I’d said I’d watch was 28 movies. I mean, still daunting, but the horizon was in sight.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. 28 movies. I’ll finish the 28 movies, and then we’ll see about the rest.

ALRIGHT STARTING BLONDIE MEETS THE BOSS NOW.

11:58

So if it’s still the same kid playing Alexander 12 years later, and he’s like 3 in this, that’ll make him 15 by the last movie in 1950.

I don’t think “Baby Dumpling” Alexander can be 15? Unless they go all Outnumbered with it. I’d be down.

12:00 AM, Saturday, 21 September 2019

They got a slow motion camera for this. For a shot of the dog. Not doing like a sick stunt or anything. Just a slow motion shot of the dog walking at regular dog speed.

12:02

Dagwood keeps yelling “Blondie!” in this one. Is that meant to be his catchphrase? Which he didn’t say last time?

12:03

You want to know something funny?

Before I realized what I’d done, I was entertaining the idea of watching, as a follow-up to this endeavor when I’m done with the Blondie movies, every Family Circus special.

But now I know that I won’t be done with Blondie for quite some time.

12:06

Over the summer I watched an episode or two of The Dick Van Dyke Show. I think Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke are probably more talented comedians than the stars of Blondie, but so far the premises in Blondie have been more competent from the point of view of structuring comedy. That Dick Van Dyke Show episode didn’t have any kind of pay-off. It was weird. If I’m remembering right, the conflict was that a guy showed up and was annoying, and then at the end he left.

But on the plus side, I don’t have to watch every episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show.

12:10

Blondie just said “You’ll kill yourself!” Still concerned about ole Dick Flournoy.

12:12

ALRIGHT. I’m 7 minutes and 50 seconds in. I’m going to take a break now. I’ll finish it tomorrow. I mean what’s the rush? I’ve got the rest of my life to watch-

I’m not gonna calculate how many hours of Blondie it is in all. I’m not gonna. You can’t make me.

12:29

My dad would probably hate this thing I'm doing. He's always saying "your life is this long," and holding his two fingers up. If he goes on he says something to the tune of "if you spend this much of it on such and such…"

But on the other hand, that one AJR song said "A hundred bad days made a hundred good stories, a hundred good stories make me interesting at parties." 

Well, 28 Blondie movies make one funny statement, that being "I am Euan O'Leary, and I've seen every fucking Blondie movie." 

And I don't go to parties, so.

12:38

See I think the thing of it is: I have seen every Godzilla movie. Because I care about Godzilla. Godzilla Raids Again kick-started my love for filmmaking. Every Godzilla movie puts filmmaking as a craft on display, front and centre. And there's a magic in creating giant monsters from rubber suits and model buildings. The magic that makes filmmaking so appealing, so special to me. Suspension of disbelief.

I have no such feelings about Blondie, because I know nothing about Blondie. The Blondie movies are not particularly culturally significant. In a way I think I'm drawn to them because there are 28 of these things, and I could've gone my whole life without knowing. It wouldn't have come up. I've never met anyone who cared about Blondie, actually cared enough to know that there have been more movies about Blondie than James Bond.

And those 28 movies, I can safely bet having seen one now, are totally unremarkable. It's like how Marcel Duchamp's Readymades were objects that he was completely indifferent to, testing the limits of art by removing passion as much as possible.

Not to say I'm not passionate about watching 27 more of these movies. I relish the challenge. It's gonna be fun.

I'm thinking now I’ll just do the movies, because "I've watched every Blondie movie" is a funnier and easier to understand sentence than "I've consumed every piece of Blondie media except for the comic strip, across live action films, TV series, radio shows and animation."

Yeah. No. That's not a premise. Watching all the movies is a premise. And maybe I'll look at the other things if I'm feeling sentimental about the project and don't want it to end.

That is to say, if at the end of the 28 movies I have somehow metamorphosed into a Blondie fanboy.

Anything's possible.

1:03 PM (The next morning)

Okay, I’ve slept on it now. Time to get back to Blondie. Let’s see how Blondie in the morning compares to Blondie late at night.

1:08

Dagwood just lost his job (for the second time so far in the series.) With no bag or suitcase, he went into his office and started packing all his things into his hat.

What a loveable doofus.

1:13

Okay. So.

The dynamic of this series seems to be that Blondie wears the pants. She’s the dominant one. Whenever Dagwood’s in trouble because he can’t just explain the comedy of errors to whoever he’s in trouble with, Blondie resolves it by asserting herself.

There was just a scene where Dagwood came home having accidentally resigned from his job. Once he’s explained everything to Blondie, she takes off her frilly apron, puts it on him, and says “Whenever I’m miserable, I just take a broom and sweep and sweep! You’ll be surprised how quickly your troubles will disappear.” Dagwood looks dazed, wearing the apron and with the broom in his hand. Blondie puts on her coat and hat, walking determined towards the door to go out and fix everything. “And have a good cry, too. It’ll make you feel better.”

A while back I watched Rebel Without a Cause, the James Dean movie, which features a scene where Dean’s character finds his father cleaning up a mess whilst wearing a frilly apron, wanting to clear it away before Dean’s mother sees. And Dean reprimands him. The implication of the scene is that because his father isn’t asserting his masculinity, and because he’s letting the mother dominate him, he’s depriving his son of a masculine role model and thus traumatizing him. I found this scene pretty repulsive. It’s not just a character acting in a sexist way, it’s a deep-seeded thematic sexism on a philosophical level. It supposes not only that Dean has to aspire to be as strong as his father, and not his mother, but also that men who wear anything like this feminine apron, and it would follow any other feminine clothes, are weak, because women are weak.

Now Blondie is indisputably a strong character. And while I think the scene I just watched was meant to be played for laughs, while it’s meant to be funny that Blondie is suggesting feminine methods of coping with stress to Dagwood, she’s not wrong. “Have a good cry, it’ll make you feel better” is Blondie confidently telling Dagwood to vent his frustrations in a healthy way.

Blondie’s a fucking badass.

1:29

Dagwood’s humiliation at being emasculated is indeed being played for laughs as the movie goes on.

Blondie’s still a badass though.

1:33

Um.

1:36

Snort Watch 2019.

Somebody’s breaking into the Bumsteads’ house. Alexander says “Sic’ em, Daisy!” Daisy (the dog) walks into a cupboard. A little puppet dog hand comes around the door and closes it after her.

1:39

They’re playing up really hard how much everyone is mocking Dagwood for wearing an Apron and letting Blondie take charge. Not a fan of that. Meanwhile, Blondie has ended up getting Dagwood’s job at the office, as a result of her showing more strength and confidence than him.

I’m trying to process that.

1:44

Reminds me of that one Rocko’s Modern Life episode where Bev Bighead takes over at Ed’s office job.

1:46

More infidelity.

1:48

Fucking sigh.

I hope not all of these movies are about Dagwood accidentally looking like he’s out with other women behind Blondie’s back and then getting in trouble with Blondie over it.

1:56

Ohp. Nope. This time it’s actual infidelity. Dagwood just kissed some girl.

1:58

Apparently there were horse-drawn taxis in 1939.

Speaking of which: This movie released March 9th. 6 months to go until World War Two starts.

2:02

Blondie and Dagwood sleep in separate beds. Do any couples still sleep in separate beds? I think I’ve only ever seen that in old movies.

2:05

Dagwood Sandwich Watch 2019:

Blondie made this one. It looks like a cake.

2:06

“I’d be tempted to kill. Yes. Drown Baby Dumpling, and myself too.” -Blondie.

Y’okay there Dick? I’m worried about you.

2:11

There’s a bit where Blondie looks at a camera with the initials F. R. written on it. My mind auto-completed Franklin Roosevelt. Blondie asks Dagwood “who goes fishing and has the initials F. R.?” He says “That’s easy, Franklin Roosevelt.”

2:16

Getting film developed. That was also a thing. In the PAST.

2:18

Rotary phones.

Hell, landlines for that matter.

2:24

Dagwood Sandwich Watch 2019:

Alexander made one. It’s really hard to tell what’s in these sandwiches in black and white and 360p.

2:37

Dagwood just accidentally won a swing dancing competition by stumbling on the dance floor trying to run away.

What a loveable doofus.

2:49

Alright, one more down! Blondie Meets the Boss didn’t leave much of an impression beyond the gender politics side of it. More antics. More sandwiches. Life goes on and so does my quest.

My rating is: one Dagwood Sandwich containing a small fish and peanut butter.

Next up is Blondie Takes a Vacation. Which, interestingly enough, follows directly from the plot of Blondie Meets the Boss, which largely revolved around Blondie and Dagwood not being able to take their vacation.

Blondie Takes a Vacation released just 4 months after Blondie Meets the Boss. Which draws my attention to how quickly they cranked these out: There were 3 Blondie movies in 1939, 3 in 1940, 2 in 1941, 3 in 1942, 2 in 1943, 2 in 1945, 2 in 1946, 4 in 1947, 2 in 1948, 2 in 1949 and 2 in 1950. 12 Blondies were released over the course of WW2.

5:54

Hey remember when I mentioned that Blondie and Dagwood sleep in separate beds? Apparently they slept in one bed in the comic strip, and at the time that was shocking. Stumbled upon a list of facts about the strip while I was setting up the blog.

[crimsonadri-fanfiction]

Make a Move (Chapter 8)

Fandom: Until Dawn

Genre: Romance, Humor, Tragedy, Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Josh x OC

Rated: M

Warnings: Language,

(First) (Previous)

The lights came on and Chris and Ashley lifted their heads to see they were both alive. Ashley saw Josh in his mask pulling along a restrained, crying, Maxine.

“Noo! No no no! Get away!!!” Ashley screamed.

“Max!” Chris tried to shot Josh but nothing happened.  Josh held out the arm that wasn’t holding Maxine.

“Oh Chris…” he said. “Oh Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.” Maxine pretended to struggle as Josh walked around the two.

“What the fuck?!” Chris looked at the gun.

“Oh you’ve heard of blanks before.” Josh said. “I mean really?” he stopped and took his mask off with one had as his other let go of Maxine’s wrists.

“Josh?” Chris asked. Maxine took the tape off her mouth and held out her arms.

“Tada!”

“Max?” Ashley gasped. Josh burst out laughing as he threw an arm around Maxine.

“Hahahahahaha!” Josh walked around the table with her again.

“Josh!” Maxine turned to see Sam and Mike had entered the room.

“Josh…” Mike said. “Max?”

“Oh, oh very good!” Josh said. Sam moved over to Ashley to set her free as Mike went to Chris. “Every one of you! Got my name! And after all you’ve been through! Good-good-good-good. I mean how does that feel? Right? How does it feel? Do you enjoy feeling terrorized? Humiliated? I mean, panicked. All those emotions that my sisters got to feel once one year ago! O-Only guess what, they didn’t get to laugh it off! No! Nope! No no no! They’re gone!”

“I don’t know if you noticed this, Josh, but none of us are laughing.” Mike said.

“Oh come, come- come- come- come. Why the long faces? Come on!” Josh said. “It’s good to get the heart racing every now and then, right? And race they did, I mean, every one of you just pitter-pat, pitter-pat!” he slapped the back of his hand on his palm. “I hope you appreciated my little phantasmagorical, spectacle! I mean, no detail too small! No opportunity missed! It was such a delight to play the puppet master to all of your Pavlovian panic! And all that gore? I mean, gore, there was gore galore!! Fake bodies… I mean, god that shit was expensive! And no retakes! Nope, nope, nope, only double takes! And who could forget our wonderful, beautiful actress-“ he put his hands on Maxine’s shoulders from behind her. “Maxine! Wasn’t she amazing! Truly believable; she deserves an Emmy!” he laughed. “Oh you should have seen your faces. Hook line and sinker for every little stinker!”

“Josh… Max… Why are you doing this?” Sam asked.

“Don’t even ask this squirrelly little runt. He’s got no clue.” Mike said. “He’s out of this fucking tree.”

“Well he’s definitely off his meds.” Chris said.

“What about you, Max? Why did you do this to us?” Ashley asked. “What did we do to you?! Why would you help him?!”

“It’s nothing personal.” Maxine said. “I just know what it feels like to lose people I love because someone thought it would be funny to… play a harmless prank.” Maxine snapped. “Why wouldn’t I help him.” Josh looked at her before looking at his friends.

“Aw come on, you guys. Revenge is the best medicine!” Josh said.

“You’re done.” Mike said.

“Mike, he’s sick-“ Chris said.

“What? Come on, you guys are all going to thank me when you guys become internet sensations!” Josh said.

“Wait, w-what…?”

“Oh you better believe this little puppy is going viral ladies and germs.” Josh said. “I mean we got unrequited love. We got… we got blood! I don’t think there’s enough hard drives in China to count all the views we’re gunna get, you guys.”

“What are you talking about, you ass hat?” Mike asked. “Jessica is fucking dead!”

“What?” Josh asked. Maxine’s eyes widened.

“Did you hear me?” Mike asked. “Jessica is dead and you are gunna fucking pay you dick!!!” Maxine screamed as Mike hit Josh with a pistol.

“Josh!” she quickly checked his head. “Why would you do that?!”

“Jessica is dead because of this prick!”  Mike spat as he got Chris and Ashley loose.

“We didn't do anything to her! Josh specifically sent two to the other cabin. We never went anywhere near it!

“Tie him up.” Mike told Chris. Maxine stood and took a step back. “We're not tying you up. You're staying with the girls.”

“Where are you gunna take him?”

“Just somewhere I can keep an eye on him.”

“Just please don't hurt him.” Maxine pleaded. “We didn’t hurt Jess I swear. I don’t know what happened to her but we have nothing to do with it!”

“Why should I believe you?” Mike asked. “You apparently a wonderful actress.” Maxine started to chew on her lip before she looked down at Josh who was being tied up by Chris.

“Why did you go along with this? We never did anything to you.” Sam said. “How could you do this to people you’ve only just met.”

“I-I...”

“It's cause she's in love with Josh.” Mike said. “She has the same look... Hannah did.” Maxine's face went red and she looked down at her feet.

“I'm sorry. We never meant for anyone to actually hurt, I swear, we have no idea what happened to Jess.” Maxine said. “Just… please don't hurt him.” she said as she watched Chris pull Josh up.

“Bring her upstairs.” Mike said to Sam. Sam nodded and took Maxine’s arm.

“What did you do with Max? Where’s Max?! Where is she?!” Josh shouted as Mike pushed him forward.

“She's fine. She's back at the lodge with the girls.” Chris said.

“You really brain washed that girl didn't you?” Mike asked.

“What are you- what are you talking about?” Josh asked.

“Maxine would've done anything you asked of her. How'd you get her to go along with all this? How did you convince a nice girl like her to be cruel to people she doesn't even know?”

“S-she wanted to help me. I-I don't know why she went along with it but just leave her alone. All-all of this was my idea; don't take it out on her. D-Don't blame her!”

“Relax.” Chris said. “All the blame belongs to you.”

“Where are we going?” Josh asked. “Where are you guys taking me?” Mike pushed Josh so he stumbled to the ground.

“Locking you up, bro.” Mike said.

“What?!”

“So you can’t do anything stupid before we call the police in the morning.” Mike said.

“Come on! I didn’t do anything- Ask Max!”

“Are you serious, bro?” Chris asked.

“You’re a goddamned murderer is what you are.” Mike said.

“I didn’t do it, Michael please! Just listen to me, man! We- I did not hurt Jessica-“ Josh said.

“You know what man? You need to shut up.” Chris said.

“I don’t get it, Max.” Sam said as she paced in front of Maxine who sat on the couch hugging her legs.

“I mean, I get that you like Josh but why go so far as to torment people you don’t even know?” Ashley asked.

“We didn’t do anything to Jessica, I swear.” Maxine said.

“What about us?” Sam asked. “I mean, we’ve never done anything to hurt you.”

“Josh told me about how you guys played that prank on Hannah.” Maxine said as she looked at Ashley. “That stupid prank cost Josh his sisters. Two years ago these… punks decided it would hilarious to teepee my house and then set the toilet paper on fire.” Sam stopped pacing. “I was homeschooled so I didn’t have any friends… I lost my parents, my home… I almost died… everything was just taken away and I was left alone… until…” Maxine looked down.

“Do you take medication?” Sam asked. Maxine nodded.

“Just to help me sleep though.” she said. “Otherwise I have nightmares.

“Did you know Josh had stopped taking his meds?” Sam asked. Maxine peeked up at her and nodded.

“It wasn’t all ill intent. We…” she glanced at Ashley. “We were trying to get you to admit your feelings to each other.”

“ ‘Traumatic event’…” Sam said shaking her head. The door opened and Chris came in.

“Mike’s staying with Josh in the shed.” He told the girls. “Max…” Maxine hid her face against her knees.

“Chris.” Ashley said as she stood. She walked up to him before leading him away. Maxine picked up her head and she and Sam looked over at the two to see Ashley whispering to Chris. After a moment Chris’ eyes widened and he looked at Maxine who hid her face again.

…

“Let me in! Let me IN!!” Emily screamed as she pounded on the door.

“Is that-?” Ashley and Maxine got up.

“It’s Em!!” Sam said.

“Let her in! Quick!” Chris said as everyone rushed to the door. He pulled the door open and Emily fell in.

“Shut the door! Oh my god- shut the door!!!” Emily screamed as she backed herself away. Sam, Ashley and Maxine pulled her back and up.

“Em, are you alright?” Chris asked.

“I didn’t think that I’d make it-“ Emily said as the girls led her back to the couch.

“You were screaming bloody murder.” Chris said.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

“You look totally wiped-“ Ashley said.

“There was something-“ Emily said.

“Where’s Matt?”

“Come sit down, sit down.” Sam said.  

“Something’s out there-“

“Did you guys split up?” Ashley asked.

“A monster- it’s a monster!” Emily said.

“Wait!” Chris said. “What are you talking about?”

“I said, there is something out there-!”

“Like what?” Ashley asked.

“Ash, relax. It was Josh, it was all Josh.” Sam said.

“No no no no listen to me-“ Emily said.

“We got him tied up, he can’t hurt you.” Sam said.

“NO it was after me. And it wasn’t human-“ Emily said. She turned to Maxine. “Max that scream we heard in the wood before!”

“That was just an animal, Em…” Maxine said shaking her head.

“Hold on…” Chris said. “Em, can you tell us exactly what happened?”

“I am trying to tell you.” She said. “We were climbing up the tower and it- it fell. The whole tower just fell! Right into the mines-“

“Whoa whoa whoa, what mines?” Chris asked.

“There are these mine shafts all over, running under everything, when the tower fell we ended up down there.”

“I don’t understand, the tower fell?” Ashley asked.

“How’d it fall?” Sam asked.

“I-I was walking down there, in the mines, and it was dark and I found this pile and … there was Beth’s head.”

“Wait, what?!” Chris leaned back.

“Beth’s head. I found it.” Emily said.

“Oh my god!” Ashley said.

“What the fuck?” Chris asked.

“Are you serious?!” Sam asked.

“Yes I’m serious!” Emily said. “I think they fell down there.”

“Jesus Christ.” Chris said.

“But the worst part is I don’t think Hannah died. Like from the fall, not right away…” Emily said as she held herself.

“What? What do you mean?” Ashley asked.

“I don’t know… I feel like she was down there… like, starving to death… for weeks…when we were all up here looking for her… we had no idea!” Emily said.

“Oh god…” Maxine breathed as she put hand over her mouth.

“Jesus, that’s… horrible…” Chris said.

“Listen. In… in the tower there was a radio and I-I got through to someone – but that was right when the tower collapsed!” Emily said. Mike came into the room and saw her.

“Em!” Emily stood and they hugged. “You made it!”

“Oh god, Mike-“ Emily said. Maxine stood and put a hand on Mike’s arm.

“Mike-“

“Yeah, yeah, barely.” Chris said.

“What about Matt?”

“We’re trying to figure that out.” Ashley said.

“Mike did you just leave Josh out there on his own-?” Maxine tried to ask but was drowned out by the others.

“And there was this ‘monster’ that was chasing her…” Chris said.

“She’s all messed up, guys” Matt said. “Emily? Hey, Em?” Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“Whoa.” Chris said.

“Who the fuck can that be?” Mike whispered.

“Josh?” Ashley and Maxine asked at the same time.

“Jess?” Chris asked.

“It’s not Jess.” Mike said.

“Sorry man… but who is it?”

“I don’t know… we should check it out.”

“I got your back.” Chris said.

“Good.” Mike said. The two headed to the door. Mike held up his pistol and Chris opened the door as a man kicked it in, disarmed Mike and closed the door behind him.

“Okay everybody just calm down.” The stranger said. “Now just move over there.” Chris and Mike went back to the girls. “Go on, move! Let me say what I came to say. I’m here to tell you what you’re up against being back on this mountain.” The girls and Chris sat down on the couch. “You should never have returned.” He dropped a bag next to the fireplace. “I don’t know why you did after what happened last year.”

“You mean with Hannah and Beth?” Ashley asked.

“Yeah, how could you know without being involved-“ Chris asked.

“Or responsible- ?!” Sam asked.

“You hold onto your horses. I don’t take kindly to you kids coming up here to my mountain.” The stranger said.

“Your mountain?” Mike scoffed. “I’m sure the Washingtons would be very surprised to hear that.”

“Hehheh. Well this mountain don’t belong to me, it’s true. But it don’t belong to the Washingtons. This mountain belongs to the Wendigo.”

“Who?” Chris asked.

“What’s he talking about?” Sam asked.

“What’s a Wendigo?” Mike asked.

“Let’s hear him out.” Sam said.

“Not like we have a choice.” Mike said.

“Now I’m only going to tell you this once. It doesn’t matter to me if you believe it or not.” The stranger said. “I got reasons I want to… get it off my chest…”

“See? I told you!” Mike said. “He’s guilty as shit! Guilty of something!” Sam ‘shh’ed him.

“Mike shut up.” Maxine said.

“There is a curse. That dwells in these mountains.” The stranger said. “Should any man or woman resort to cannibalism in these woods the spirit of the Wendigo shall be unleashed.”

“Oh Crap.” Mike said.

“You’re going to need to find somewhere safe.” The stranger said.

“The basement might be okay…” Sam said.

“Okay. Get down there. All of you. And wait.”

“What why? For how long?”

“Until dawn.” Emily said.

“Guys… I ran off and left Josh when I heard screaming.” Mike said. Maxine stood with wide eyes.

“Where did you leave him?” The stranger asked.

“In this shed…”

“Your friend will already be dead.”

“No.” Maxine said as she shook her head.

“No…” Chris said as he stood. “No he can’t be… we were just with him!”

“A lot can happen quickly on this mountain.” The stranger said.

“No. I’m gunna go get him.” Chris said.

“Me too.” Maxine said.

“No, Max, you’re staying here. It’s too dangerous.”

“You can’t go out there, Chris.” Ashley said.

“I’m supposed to be his best friend and I-I let him down.”

“No… he let you down, Chris- he let all of us down.” Ashley said.

“I don’t care. I’m going to get him.”

“Then I’ll go with you.” The stranger said.

“I don’t need your help.” Chris said.

“Going alone is suicide.”

“Fine.”

“The rest of you, get down to the basement. Be safe. Don’t go outside again until we’re back.” The stranger came to stand in front of Chris. “You don’t seem to understand the magnitude of the situation.”

“Well I’m going to get Josh, aren’t I?”

“No, I’m going to get Josh. You’re going to help me. Do you understand?”

“…uh… yeah… I think so.”

“You need to follow me. and do everything I tell you.” The stranger said before he turned and walked away. Chris went to follow when Maxine grabbed his sleeve.

“Chris please… be careful and bring him back.” She said. He nodded.

“Get down to the basement.”

“Max I think you should sit down.” Sam said. Maxine glanced at her as she paced.

“Oh my god! Guys!” Emily said as Chris, Ashley and Mike came into the part of the basement where everyone else was.  “Thank god.”

“What took you so long?” Sam asked.

“It’s not good up there right now-“ Chris said.

“Understatement of the night.” Mike said as he closed the metal fenced door behind them.

“Chris… Where’s the flame thrower guy?”

“Ah… yeah… he uh…”

“He didn’t make it?” Ashley asked.

“Oh no!” Emily said.

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“The thing it… it tore him apart-! Right in front of me.” Chris said.

“Oh god.” Sam gasped. Chris looked over at Maxine. She was facing away from everyone and holding Josh’s jacket to her chest.

“Max…”

“Alright.” Mike said. “These all the doors?” Mike asked.

“Yeah.” Sam said. Chris walked over to Maxine and put a hand on her arm. She tensed and Chris felt her shoulders start to tremble. Chris looked at Ashley who looked at him. She motioned to Maxine and Chris nodded before pulling Maxine into his arms. He rubbed her back as Maxine’s shoulders started to shake.

“Are you sure?”

“What are you looking for?”

“Another way out.”

“Mike… I really don’t think that’s a good idea. We should stay put, right here, until dawn. At least we’re safe down here.”

“Oh? Yeah? All wrapped up like a little present with a bow on top for that thing to tear us apart on Christmas morning?” Mike said.

“People will come for us. In the morning.” Sam said.

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“That is what’ll happen. Right Em?”

“Yeah… I mean…right?” Emily asked.

“Well you can wait.” Mike said. “I’m leaving.”

“Mike… there’s no key for the cable car.” Emily said.

“Josh.” Mike said. “He’s gotta have it.”

“Josh?” Sam asked.

“One of his dirty little tricks.” Mike said.

“Great.” Sam said. “Great!”

“If that fucking thing got a hold of Josh… then… we’re shit outta luck.”

“I don’t know, Mike… it’s possible...” Emily said.

“What’s possible?” Sam asked.

“It may have taken him down to the mines…”

“What?” Mike asked.

“I saw some horrible stuff down there… I think it’s where that thing lives… and...” Emily turned and picked up a book. “huh…”

“Em?” Sam asked. “What?” she asked as she walked over.

“Fuck it.” Mike said. “I’m gunna get that key. Right from that thing’s goddamned bedroom and then I’m gunna get us all out of here.”

“Em … what is all that?” Sam asked.

“It’s that old guy’s bag.” Emily said.

“Is that a map?” Mike asked.

“The guy was prepared for anything.” Sam said.

“Not quite.” Mike said. Chris rubbed Maxine’s back slowly.

“Max, I’m really sorry.” Chris said. Maxine sniffled and wiped her eyes as she pulled back to look up at him.

“You and Ashley better stick together after this.” she said. “Tell her exactly how you feel, make sure she knows.”

“Max…” Chris felt his eyes watering. “You really cared about him…” Fresh tears started to fall down her cheeks.

“It’s pathetic isn’t it… I mean… I know he didn’t see me in that way…he probably liked… Sam.” Maxine said glancing over at Sam who was talking with Emily and Mike. Chris shook his head.

“No, Max… I don’t – I don’t know if- if telling you this will… make you feel any better but he was crazy about you.” Chris said. Maxine scoffed. “I’m serious. When he first told me about you he said he’d met this great, amazing girl. We went on and on about you.”

“He didn’t tell you I was attractive or-“

“Of course he didn’t. Why would he tell his single friend that the girl he likes is attractive?”

“Don’t guys usually do that?”

“Not Josh. I mean sure he would’ve bragged about you if you were his girlfriend but since you weren’t he didn’t want the idea of stealing you away to enter anyone’s head. You are cute and I know Josh thought so too.” Chris said. “And yes he flirted with Sam but she was Hannah’s best friend she was always over. They had no feelings for each other, just ask her.” Maxine lowered her head.

“Em…” Ashley said. “Em, what is that…?”

“Huh?” Chris and Maxine turned to see everyone backing away from Emily.

“What is that?”

“Ash…”

“Em, oh my god oh my god oh my god! Oh no, oh no, oh no!”

“It’s nothing, I just – it bit me, and-“

“It bit you? What bit you?”

“The ah… The Wendigo.”

“The what?” Mike asked.

“It’s nothing, really, it’s not a big deal –“

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Shit.” Mike hissed.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. Really.” Emily said. “It’s…it’s not that bad.”

“Em… if that thing bit you…” Mike said.

“I-I know what you’re thinking. And I’m fine.”

“Are you?”

“Yes!”

“Emily at least let us check it out.” Sam said.

“Emily… if the Wendigo bit you… you could turn into one of those thing.”

“Oh that’s ridiculous.” Sam said.

“He said it was from eating each other – remember he said that!” Ashley said.

“Wait is that how it worked?” Sam asked.

“Yes! It happens if it bit you, you’re gunna turn into one of them then you’re gunna turn on us. Oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

“He didn’t say that!” Maxine said. “He said nothing about being bitten. He said if someone resorts to cannibalism and she hasn’t eaten anyone!” Maxine said.

“We can’t take that chance.” Mike said. “You can’t be down here with us.”

“What?”Emily asked.

“Mike!” Sam said.

“You gotta go.” Mike said.

“Are you kidding me?!” Emily asked.

“You’re putting us all in danger!”

“Like hell I am!”

“Emily… you can’t stay here.”

“Mike… just cool your head, okay? We don’t know it works like that.” Sam said. “Maybe it’s just a bite.”

“I’ve seen what these fuckers can do.” Chris said. “I don’t wanna see it again.”

“Chris.” Maxine said.

“What is this? Guys. What are you doing?” Emily asked.

“Door’s right here.” Mike said. “I am letting you do this voluntarily.”

“Oh no you’re just making yourself feel better about sending me to my death since you know there’s a Wendigo out there ready to rip me to piece like it did with-“

“Okay oh my god will you just go?!” Ashley shouted. “Go! Get out of here!” Mike picked up his pistol and pointed it at Emily.

“Whoa!” Sam said.

“Mike!” Maxine shouted.

“…okay…” Emily said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa- Mike…” Sam said as she rushed over to him. “Calm down.” Mike shook her off.

“You’re gunna shoot me?” Emily asked as she backed up. “Mike..? Me?”

“This is the safe room, Em.” Mike said.

“Please!” Emily moved up onto the desk, pulling her les to her chest.

“It is not safe as long as you’re in it.”

“No!”

“Not for us.”

“Don-…Don’t do this!”

“I’m really sorry.” Mike said. Emily put up her arm to block her head. “Fuck… I can’t do this.” Mike said as he turned away.

“Oh my god.” Emily breathed.

“You did the right thing.” Sam said.

“I hope you did.” Ashley said.

“Maybe… for now.” Mike said. “Shit… fuck fuck. Keep an eye on her… if you see anything weird… you guys know what to do.”

“Yeah.” Ashley said.

“No one leave.” Mike said. “Okay? It’s not safe out there.” He put the pistol down on the table. “I’ll be back soon.” Mike said before he left. Maxine went to Emily who curled up on the table. Sam sat beside Chris. Emily leaned back and laid on the table. Maxine stood in front of her.

“I thought... that…that he was gunna help us.” Emily said.

“Who the flame thrower dude?” Sam asked as Ashley picked up the stranger’s journal.

“Now we don’t have a chance…” Emily said. Ashley walked over to the other table and sat in a chair.

“No, guys, it just means we’ve got to be tough.” Sam said. “We’ve gotta do this on our own.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Emily said. Ashley started to look through the journal.

“This guy’s a little OCD.” She said. “There’s a lot of history to this.” Maxine walked over to her and looked over her shoulder. “This says that because the Windegos are… mutated from humans… when they hunt us they know how to perfectly mimic their prey.”

“Ashley.” Maxine said as she pointed to something on the page. She looked at Ashley with an almost glare like stare.

“Oh… oh no no no no no.” Ashley said.

“What?” Sam asked. “What is it? What does it say?” she asked as she walked over.

“It says that…well… the bites…” Ashley started to lower her voice. “If it bites you it’s not infectious. It doesn’t do anything.”

“Let me see that!” Sam said.

“Um, I’m sorry what did you say?” Emily asked as she got up.

“Em, it says you’ll be okay…” Ashley said as she stood.

“It says what?”

“You’re going to be fine.” Sam said.

“Fine?! Mike almost shot me! Is that fine?!”

“He didn’t shoot you-“ Sam said.

“And this bitch almost let him!” Emily shouted as she pointed to Ashley.

“Hey! That’s not fair, she was scared-“

“I’m the one who’s scared.” Emily said.

“I-I’m sorry… I’m sorry Emily.” Ashley said. “I didn’t know what was going to happen… none of us know!”

“There’s- There’s no excuse! There’s no excuse for this!” Emily shouted as she turned and walked away from Ashley.

“Please, Emily, please just try to understand-“

“Understand the palm of my hand, bitch.” Emily said before she slapped Ashley so hard she fell to the ground.

“I’m sorry.” Ashley whimpered as she got up, moving away like a wounded animal. “I’m so so so so sorry.”

“Shit.” Sam said as she read the journal. “Shit-shit-shit. We’re got to get to Mike like now!” Sam said before leaving the room. The other girls and Chris followed.

Next Chapter

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