#AND LATER. WHEN I FINISH MY REFLECTION FOR ENGLISH. I CAN GO ROLLER SKATING (: (: (: (:

[subtlefires]

FINALLY FINISHED MY FUCKING PAPER SO NOW I SHALL WRITE HM AS A REWARD

[thewatermelloncat]

Backstage (Rosénali CH 7)

CH1, CH2, CH3, CH4, CH5, CH6

Summary: With the production date looming closer, the friend group pulls together to get each other through rehearsals.

Boarding School AU

Kinda Pastel/Punk AU

Author’s Note: Be on the look out for links to extra stories within the chapters.

Warnings: Swearing

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The next morning Rosé awakes to her door gently closing. Panic should course through her at the sight of another figure in the dark room but even half-asleep she easily makes it out to be the shape of Denali.

“Nali, what are you doing here this early?” Rosé asks as she looks at the clock on her phone. “My alarm doesn’t go off for ten minutes.”

“Go back to sleep, Rosie” Denali says softly, picking up Rosé’s phone and deactivating the alarm. “Mik and Liv are bringing breakfast to us.”

Rosé hums in confusion.

“Mik’s idea” Denali explains as she sits down in the desk chair. “Just get some more sleep.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next time she wakes, it’s to the door opening and quiet whispers traveling inside.

She closes her eyes again and pulls in a breath to wake up a little more.

“Morning” she mumbles as she rolls onto her side. Blinking her eyes open and facing the doorway Mik and Liv just walked through.

“Good morning” Liv reflects sweetly.

“Morning, gorge” Mik says.

“Hardly feel gorgeous at the moment” Rosé admits, pushing herself up off the mattress and running a hand through the tangles in her hair.

Denali huffs a laugh at the comment and throws Rosé her hairbrush from the desk.

She catches it and works away at her hair while Mik and Liv divvy out the breakfast they’ve collected. Mik complaining about how Liv wouldn’t let her near the coffee sachets.

“I think that’s fair, Mik” Denali says after Liv explained that Mik has a science test first period.

“Are you feeling better, Rosé?” Liv asks sweetly as she hands her a bowl of cereal.

“Yeah” Rosé answers quickly. “Thanks for letting me sleep in and doing… all of this” she gestures a hand around the room.

“Really you should thank Mik. It was all her idea” Liv says.

“Don’t bother. That just makes it awkward!” Mik calls out, leaning into Rosé’s view from behind Liv. “It’s just a friend thing.”

“Well, I still appreciate it… all of you” Rosé smiles awkwardly at them.

“It’s not a problem, Rosie” Denali finalises. “And it’s probably best if you don’t start your week falling asleep in class.”

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Rosé didn’t fall asleep in class; not even nearly over the next few weeks. Bringing breakfast to each other became like a tradition. There was no official roster but they would figure it out as they went.

Liv and Mik found out about Rosé’s job – which Liv had secretly suspected for a while – and after each of her night shifts it would be her turn.

Though Denali was normally an early riser, they pressured her to sleep in if they saw she was getting tired from all of her dance rehearsals. And Mik benefited correspondingly in their shared room.

They also made sure to share it around with Liv so it would be fair, although she never asked for it.

“Rosé you’re the fucking best!” Mik groans appreciatively as Rosé hands around takeaway boxes of leftover pancakes the morning after she had mentioned that she was craving them. Though she hadn’t thought anything would come of it.

“Had to be eaten” Rosé shrugs as she sits down, cross legged on the floor of Mik and Denali’s room. “Just wish we could use the microwave in the kitchens.”

“These are so good anyway, Rosé” Denali says through a mouthful as she reaches for another pot of syrup.

“We could use a hairdryer” Mik suggests.

“No” Liv warns quickly, completely prepared to physically restrain Mik if she tried.

“Would that even work?” Denali laughs and they launch into a debate.

Liv trying to calmly shut it down before Mik does something stupid. Rosé happy to sit back and watch it, not thinking that it would work but also not exactly opposed to Mik doing something stupid.  Denali arguing that she doesn’t know how scientifically plausible it is and Mik trying to reason that the only way to know is to try. Though it’s all for nothing as Mik finishes her pancakes before the argument is over.

“I’m so glad that this is just a half day” Denali says as she ties her shoelaces, getting ready for class.

“You won’t be saying that when they let us know what disappointments we are during rehearsal” Mik drones warningly about the first complete run-through of the production that is due to start after lunch.

Denali shrugs with a dismissive hum. “I get to miss out on English, so I don’t care.”

“Do you not like being in classes with me?” Rosé feigns offense, clutching a hand to her chest.

“You know that’s not what I meant” Denali scoffs as she stands up from the floor to follow the rest of the group out the door.

“Well, for the record, I don’t like being in class with you either” Rosé pretends to ignore her, turning her nose up playfully as she stalks down the hallway. The other’s following suit and rushing themselves off to class.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As far as first full rehearsals go, it wasn’t too bad. Sure, they had been given many things to improve on but nothing too harsh. Mik hadn’t forgotten the single line that she had, and Denali’s dance troupe all had smooth transitions. Of course, Denali twisting her ankle when her roller-skate hadn’t wanted to come off after her solo hadn’t been a highlight.

“Ms Visage’s critique about your harmony being off is bullshit” Rosé says to Olivia as they step out of the auditorium and head back towards the dormitories.

“Thanks, but you don’t have to say that” Liv says but smiles anyway.

“Honestly” Rosé stands by it. Knowing that Olivia takes critique harder than most.

Suddenly they are cut off by Mik gasping dramatically. “You are limping!” she directs at Denali who is trailing slightly behind.

“It’s fine” Denali maintains. “It’s a twist not a sprain.”

Mik shakes her head throughout her speaking and when Denali stops, she demands, “get on my back.”

“Mik, I’ll crush you” Denali laughs as the smaller girl turns her back to her, readying her hands out to catch her legs.

“No, you won’t. I’m stronger than I look” Mik affirms.

“Even if you are, her feet will still be on the ground” Rosé teases Mik before offering to Denali, “here, jump on mine.”

For a moment Denali stays where she is as Mik moves away from her, happy for Rosé to take over the task of carrying her. At her friends all looking at her expectingly, she gives in, laughing as she jumps up on Rosé’s back.

“Where are we going?” Mik asks when they take off walking again.

“Go to my room, it’s closer” Rosé directs.

“Ooh, Mik, we should go to the office and get some ice” Liv suggests and without saying a word Mik bounds over to join her and they head off in another direction.

Rosé laughs softly when she feels Denali hang her head against her shoulder.

“It’s not even a big deal” Denali groans at the fuss everyone is making over her. Feeling Rosé’s shoulders continuing to shake as she laughs.

“Just let them do it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I think it’s sweet that they have a separate performance just for friends and family, but I kinda wish they had that one last” Denali says from on top of Rosé’s bed with an icepack under her ankle.

“Yeah, I get that” Liv acknowledges, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Get the nerves out of the way first.”

“People have been saying that for years, but I don’t know why they haven’t changed it” Mik mentions as she slowly spins around in the desk chair.

“They spin some bullshit about every performance having to be just as good as the others – treat every one like it will be your last and all that” Rosé drones from further down the bed than Denali, lying looking up at the roof with her knees hanging off the end.

“Mr Piane?” Liv asks.

“You had that speech before?” Rosé looks toward her, and Denali figures that it’s one of their vocal tutors they’re talking about.

Liv raises her eyebrows in a knowing look before she turns to Mik. “When are your parents getting here?”

“Couple of days before, I think. But they’ll leave the day after” Mik answers. “What about yours?”

“Opposite from you: come the day before, leave a couple after. Denali?”

“Day before, leave late the day after” Denali answers.

“Have you heard back from your parents, Rosé?” Liv asks considerately.

Rosé shakes her head and Mik immediately changes topic to what she overheard two girls gossiping about the day before.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The ongoing conversation hadn’t been halted by Rosé’s phone buzzing but it is at her dramatic groan after reading the message.

“What is it?” Denali asks as Rosé lazily rolls off of her bed.

“I need to fill in someone’s shift at work.”

“Can’t someone else do it?” Liv asks.

“We were going to do homework together tonight” Mik adds.

“I know, I know” Rosé repeats as she gets her things together. “But I’m missing a lot of my usual shifts with rehearsals and the performance next week.”

Around the room various hums sound off as signals that her point is fair enough.

“You guys can stay in here, I don’t care” Rosé says as she shoulders her bag.

“Okay, just let us know how you get on” Denali asks.

“Shouldn’t be late. Think it’s only a single shift” rosé explains before she steps out the door. Leaving them talking about whether Mik is nervous about getting everyone ready for the full dress rehearsal tomorrow.

Later that night when she stumbles back into her dorm, her feet sore from standing, she’s halted at the sight of her books stacked neatly on her desk. On top sitting a page of science notes written out by Olivia and another of English notes in Denali’s handwriting. Then she smiles.

CH8

[uncivilengineering]

What Kind of Two Years Has it Been

At the end of an experience, and therefore a blog, I usually write a reflection on the experience. The Master's programme ended six years ago and due to life and procrastination and other excuses, I'm finishing this blog only now. But this delay has its advantages, because I know how the story ends and I can tell you what happened to the characters. So maybe, for the first time, this is truly an epilogue.

The journey to this program started in 2012. I was living in Germany and working as a consultant. I always knew I wanted to work first before continuing with any kind of education, because toward the end of undergrad, I had classes with grad students and the ones who had work experience before going back to school seemed to bring more to the experience from applying what they learned from the real world. As I researched Master's programmes, I focused my search in Europe because I was still paying off the loans for my Bachelor's degree. I Googled another program when the MIND programme turned up in the results. After a process of applying, obtaining references, phone interviews and traveling to Munich from Stuttgart to take the GRE in Germany (really), even though this is Europe, the choice came down to Humboldt University in Berlin, with a scholarship from the DAAD, and the MIND programme, with a scholarship from the European Commission. (Lappeenranta University of Technology in Finland takes a close third because I had a really, really pleasant scholarship interview with a very pleasant young man and sometimes I think about how my life might be different if I went there and studied Innovation Management instead.)

I'm sure there was a long decision process and I'm sure I spent a lot of time thinking about it, like most decisions. This all took place eight years ago and I cannot remember the salient details. But I can imagine that I felt like it was time to leave Germany, even though I love (LOVE) Berlin, and the appeal of having an adventure in two countries (I didn't yet know that Asia was on the table) was great. So I gave notice at the consulting firm, said goodbye to my friends in Stuttgart, (wrapped up my last performances as a roller skating Greek muse in the local military base's production of Xanadu - that's real) and moved to Sweden.

In the two years that ensued, I met the best people, took wild risks, had the best time, made my dreams come true and had the adventure I sought. I lived.

I lived in Sweden for a year and was inspired by their example of how to treat guests in your country. I had a job interview in a sauna in the winter and learned what gender equality in society might actually look like. After an application process, I had the opportunity to spend a semester in Thailand. In Thailand I learned how to get from the university to town (Bangkok) and back again. I hosted a cultural show that lasted for eight (or more?) hours. I felt closer to my mom than I had ever understood before. C pointed out that after the midterm exams, I have sat for exams on three continents. I celebrated my birthday at a German brewery in Bangkok. I saw Angkor Wat after the semester ended. I went to all the Disneylands in the world (at the time...back then, there were only 11 parks). I didn't stay long in Austria, but I was there long enough to experience a Buschenschank and run into visa problems. I also saw Carousel and Cabaret in German, and puzzled as to why it was an hour longer than Cabaret in English, which I saw soon after on Broadway. In Glendale I lived in a conference room turned into an ad hoc intern bullpen for four and a half months writing my thesis. I saw things I had been nearby my entire life but never dreamed of seeing in reality.

Blogs are cheesy and navel-gazey but I am glad I did it. I am glad that this and the Germany Part I blogs exist. Sometimes I will look at an old post because someone asked for a travel recommendation (for example), and I will discover something that I forgot. I didn't remember that I was contacted by Swedish public radio to talk about the 2012 United States election. I forgot I had this conversation at NASA JPL about living in Germany. So what's the moral of this paragraph? If you can't blog, at least journal. You think you will remember the exciting things that happen in your day to day life but the truth is, you won't. I am proof!

What happened to everyone? Some stayed in Europe. Some went home. Some went home in Europe. Some got married. Some had babies. Some moved to Amsterdam. Many stayed in Sweden. When I left C, she wanted to stay in Italy. She has since worked her way up to an awesome job at a major company and had a baby! A has moved and is engaged to be married! I was happy to attend C's wedding in Ankara in 2015. I was happy to attend Z's wedding in Czechia last year, and to see my friends again at both.

What happened to me? I accepted an internship in Florida where I spent about five years (and made a bunch of new friends and had a bunch of good times) before moving back to the country where I left when this all started. To be honest, I never expected to be back. Not in this country. In 2017, I was fortunate to attend my class reunion in Leiden; it was also the celebration of the closing of the program. They invited all alumni back to watch the last class graudate. I met the newest generations of the program and saw a lot of old friends. It was just like old times. I came to the first afternoon of the organized program. I thought we would observe the new kids doing their work. No. We kicked off with a case exercise and divided into groups to discuss and then present our results. Our groups consisted of current students, alumni, professors and mentors. In Europe, we are all equal. It was just like old times.

The rest of the program consisted of lectures, discussions and watching the final presentations of the graduating class. Before I left for this trip, I joked that my master programme was ending because it lost funding (truth) from the European Commission because of Brexit (also true but I didn't realize it until I got there and they confirmed that Brexit was one of the factors that cut funding to the programme). There was a party the final evening. In the way that we do. I remember telling all my friends that it would be a very long time before I will see them again. I couldn't foresee an immediate excuse to get to Europe and hang out with them. The day I returned to work in Florida from the trip, I received an email about joining a project that is based in Germany. If I chose to accept this mission, I would have to move to Germany for a period of time. What.

I learned later that, basically, someone found out that I know German. (I promise that I have other skills.) When I was in high school, if you told me I was going to move to Germany, I would have said that you're crazy. I was just this nerd who went to Space Camp and really liked The West Wing and Saturday Night Live. If you told me I was going to move to Germany twice, I would have said, "Then why did I spend all this time learning Spanish?" (among other questions) I know that's true, because I did ask myself that in the first two months of intensive language school in 2010. But the truth is, Germany made things happen for me. When I talk to young people who (for some reason) ask for my advice, in addition to telling them to "follow your dreams," I also tell them the story of how moving to Germany (the first time) changed my life. (And then I tell them why so they know I'm not exaggerating.)

I couldn't refuse. I'm back in Germany. I'm working on getting better at German.

I should have seen this coming. The fall I moved to Sweden in 2012, I came back to Germany to celebrate Thanksgiving. During my Swedish spring, the squad from Germany came to visit Sweden and I put in my tea and hairspray requests (from dm, of course). After my thesis defense in 2014, my first destination was Nuremberg to see E, then on to Quakenbrück to wait with C who was finishing her defense. I attended S's wedding in Leipzig in 2015. I went to Oktoberfest in Munich in 2016. The point is, I cannot stay away from Germany. This is evident and not a surprise.

So far, I have been fortunate that this opportunity has allowed me to meet up with so many friends. A and M are in Amsterdam and have introduced me to Y and T, who are also in the MIND network. S is back in Oslo from Thailand. A is in London. S has moved from Stuttgart to Berlin. A and P and B and K and E are in New York. I still cite the meal in Haarlem (note that's Haarlem in the Netherlands, not Harlem, but I can see why you might be confused because I just mentioned New York) as the best I've ever had and J told me that the restaurant has received a Michelin star since 2014 when we were there so now it's overpriced and overrated. So funny! At Z's wedding in Czechia last year I was happy to reconnect with A, B and M. Everyone else, I'm coming for you! (And I mean that in the creepy way!)

What's going to happen next? Let's find out! Thank you for reading and joining the adventure.

Good night, have a pleasant tomorrow and see you in the future!

Lauren