#AND KEN'S COLOURS ARE INSANE!!!!

[ufonaut]

How many more times do I have to tell you, colonel? I had a mid-air collision, it’s that simple!

Tempus Fugitive (1990) #1

(Ken Steacy)

[mori-no-majou]

was looking up what to do since my art is pretty likely being broken down in some AI’s robot gut right now, but this is beautiful

[mulletmitsuya]

Sano Groupchat (and closely affiliated)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, the word necrophilia is mentioned twice, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of drugging, also a "description" of a penis (it's not what it sounds like i swear)

Side note: i've realized that my warnings without context, make me look like a crazy person so please bear with me 😔🙏

Desc: Mikey gets kidnapped by a crazy fan and so forth (i'm so bad at these, might remove them 💀)

Shinichiro: Mikey, we're glad to have you back. i'll release a statement saying you need to recover from the traumatizing situation you've just been through. just rest up okay?

Emma: yeah, we're here if you need anything :((

Izana: you're alive, so

Emma: Izana ☹️

Izana: ...

Izana: we are here to support you through difficult times

Izana: as your "siblings" 🙂

Shinichiro: what are the quotation marks for bud 😞✊?

Izana: my hand slipped

Shinichiro: oh okay then!

Mikey: guys

Shinichiro: Draken, how's the arrest going?

Draken: the girls trial is in a few weeks from now and she can't afford bail so she's locked up

Mikey: guys it's not that deep

Mikey: like, it's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be

Izana: see? he's fine

Emma: YOU WERE MISSING FOR 2 WEEKS

Emma: YOU WERE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED BY A CRAZY FAN. IT'S A BIG DEAL

Mikey: but they didn't hurt me?? they made all my favourite snacks and food and tucked me into bed every night. which maybe was a little weird but i still liked it. i had a very good time actually. so why are we arresting her? she's chill fr

Draken: that's all she did?

Baji: how do you know she didn't drug you in your sleep and do things to you 🤨

Mikey: bro?

Shinichiro: Keisuke, that's a very sensitive topic for some people, so let's not say it so casually okay?

Baji: what?

Baji: is it a long shot to say Mikey was touched or something?

Baji: i mean, what other motives did she have

Baji: and you guys saw her tweets right? she's obsessed with you

Baji: wasn't she the one who calculated the circumference, length, girth and colour of your penis??

Draken: no that's another one

Baji: nvm

Baji: that was Haruchiyo

Haruchiyo: fuck off

Mikey: Baji we literally go to onsens together with Haruchiyo. you've all seen my penis 😐

Baji: hard and soft are two different things

Baji: you pervert

Haruchiyo: it wasn't me, what the fuck?

Haruchiyo: i'm too famous to be risking my reputation like that

Haruchiyo: i'd need a burner account no one could access, which i don't have

Haruchiyo: so no Baji, i don't have a Mikey fanpage

Haruchiyo: that would be crazy and weird and bordeline insane

Baji: i didn't say any of that?

Baji: and you are all 3 of those things🤨

Mikey: well whatever cause everyone was wrong. it's small

Mikey: you know what it's not even small. it's average for my size, actually

Mikey: i mean i'm 5'3 yk. what did people expect

Mikey: like, it would look weird if i had a big one

Mikey: it would be disproportionate to have a big one

Mikey: i see people saying "i know it's big😍" or stuff like "i wanna gag on it"

Emma: gross

Emma: why are you telling us this 😟

Mikey: which i find really flattering

Draken: flattering isn't the word i'd use

Mikey: yeah thats cause you're a fucking prude, Ken-chin

Draken: it's cause i have a wife, jackass

Emma: 😊❤

Mikey: but seriously it wouldn't make sense for me to have a big penis

Baji: excuses excuses 🙄

Mikey: my penis is fine

Baji: they gave you dick dysmorphia

Mikey: whatever it's not like i'll use it anyway

Baji: bottom?

Mikey: i just don't like sex 😐

Izana: are we here to listen to Mikey talk about his small dick or what

Shinichiro: yeah maybe we should... not

Mikey: well, yours is skinny so whatever

Shinichiro: no it's not 😕

Shinichiro: i've had many people compliment me for my size, actually

Izana: "many"

Izana: "people"

Mikey: we know it's not girls, just say you fuck men (Wakasa) dude

Baji: no girl wants you bro

Baji: (isn't it Takeomi?)

Mikey: (Takeomi is violently homophobic)

Baji: (oh yeah)

Haruchiyo: what are you guys doing

Mikey: (whispering)

Haruchiyo: you guys are texting

Haruchiyo: we can all see this

Haruchiyo: are you fucking dumb

Haruchiyo: not you, Mikey

Mikey: thanks Haru 😋

Baji: he was doing it too???

Baji: i get why Takeomi was homophobic 😒

Baji: (when are you going to address his crush on you, Mikey)

Mikey: (it's not a crush, you ever heard of bff's, Keisuke🙄?)

Baji: (that's like saying me and Kazutora are bff's)

Mikey: (you are?)

Baji: (i'm in love with him)

Mikey: (oh yeah)

Mikey: (but Haru isn't in love with me)

Baji: (he probably creams his pants when you use that nickname)

Haruchiyo: i can see this

Haruchiyo: you aren't "whispering"

Haruchiyo: IT'S A FUCKING GROUPCHAT

Draken: does this matter?

Draken: we were talking about the fact that Mikey was kidnapped

Draken: Baji is right, something really bad could have happened if they have you longer

Draken: along with the statement, we need to talk to your fans man

Draken: this is a line crossed

Baji: no shit

Baji: also, why didn't you, i don't know, fight back and escape or something?

Mikey: i didn't want to hit a girl 😔

Mikey: like i said, i enjoyed my time there

Mikey: knew you guys would find me eventually so it was like, a side quest

Draken: of course you'd call a kidnapping a side quest

Emma: how'd she even kidnap you?

Mikey: she saw me at a convenience store and they'd run out of my favourite sweeties

Mikey: and i was whining about it to the cashier, so i guess she overheard

Mikey: and she said she had some in her car

Mikey: so i go there with her

Mikey: then she asked for an autograph

Mikey: then i'm pretty sure she drugged me with chloroform or something cause i was out

Emma: chloroform isn't like the movies. it takes a while to knock someone out, so that's not really likely unless you stood there and took it

Mikey: ...

Mikey: ok fine, do you want me to say i fell asleep in her car? huh?

Mikey: cause that's what i did

Izana: it's like you *want* to die or something

Izana: nvm

Baji: are you stupid or something

Draken: Mikey

Draken: you are 25 years old

Draken: and you're telling me

Draken: that you fell for the "hi kid, want some candy?" trick

Draken: are you fucking serious

Shinichiro: Mikey...

Shinichiro: you could have gone to another store 🙁

Shinichiro: i almost lost you

Shinichiro: because of jellybeans? really?

Mikey: they're my favourite sweet okay ☹️

Mikey: and i was lazy and tired

Mikey: hence, falling asleep

Baji: he has to have necrophilia or something

Shinichiro: i don't think that's the word buddy

zana: "necrophilia"

Izana: didn't you graduate?

Baji: working on it 💪

Izana: ah alright

Izana: what's your IQ?

Baji: below average

Mikey: Baji, don't tell people that ☠️

Izana: ...

Izana: wow he actually answered me

Emma: *sigh*

Draken: what's the point of tying out your physical actions

Emma: shut up a little babe

Draken: ok

Emma: what Baji meant, was necormancy

Draken: that's incorrect, babe

Emma: omg can we just wrap this up

Izana: both of you are wrong 💀

Izana: what is wrong with you people

Izana: necrophilia= sexual attraction to a dead body

Izana: necormancy= communication with dead people

Izana: narcolepsy= condition characterized by an extreme tendency to sleep

Izana: i'm assuming you guys meant to say the third one, for Mikey

Izana: holy shit

Emma: no need to be mean about it 😒

Baji: i'll add those to my "new words" list

Mikey: maybe i do have that

Mikey: i do fall asleep in very odd places

Emma: you know what we can talk about this tommorow. time out

*only admins can send messages*

[sophsicle]

the barbie movie is quickly becoming my enemy. it is a very good movie in terms of quality, talent, and entertainment. it's garbage in terms of like, political statements. WHICH IS FINE. it's a movie about a doll, it does not have to be good at making political statements. but people keep talking about it like it is. be so fr right now. it is an advertisement for a toy company that openly admits, within the movie itself, that it doesn't give a shit about women. ken becomes radicalized because Barbie isn't giving him enough attention, steals her home, robs her friends of free will and somehow barbie ends up apologizing 2 him?????? and promises that every night doesn't have 2 b girls night? likeeee im so sorry i don't understand the message there. and it isn't equality of the sexes before u start with that. Barbie doesn't enslave the kens. she just doesn't want to fuck them. equating the way the barbies treat the kens to the way the kens treat the barbies is insane. DO i think it feels a little fucking absurd that this award season the critics, or whomever the fuck decides these things, have chosen to give ken and all things ken related nominations and awards? yeah. it feels like an SNL skit. do i think barbie was robbed??? no. it's like. a fine movie. it's very entertaining. i don't think it inherently deserves awards for that. this fact is compounded by the women of colour who are being nominated in these categories and the tone deafness this then adds to this outrage. BASICALLY. any political stance grounded in the barbie movie whether it be conservative or liberal is so frustrating 2 me. and i need people 2 stop. pls.

[ofmdrecaps]

07/27-28/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Taika Waititi; Galaxy Con Raleigh: Kristian, Con, Vico, and Nathan; Bronson Pinchot; Minnie Driver; Kay Buchanan; Adopt Our Crew: Articles; Voting Reminders; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

== David Jenkins ==

David posed an interesting question to the gallery. (I know many weeks back someone was mentioning a similar thing being related to Non-Binary Folks, not sure if that was Chaos Dad's intent or not, but you can answer on Instagram if you'd like!)

Source: David Jenkins Instagram

Dad also reblogged the absolutely INSANELY talented @blueberreads' fabulous latest pixel video!

Source: David Jenkins Twitter / Blueberreads Tumblr == Taika Waititi ==

More Taika at the Louis Vuittan Pre-Olympics event.

Source: styledumonde Instagram

PS: I didn't wanna post her post here but sending healing thoughts to Rita Ora (Taika's wife), apparently she was hospitalized in the last couple days. Hope you feel better soon Rita! Rest up hon!

== Galaxy Con Raleigh Updates ==

So many pictures came out of GalaxyCon Raleigh! I was only able to get permission from a few folks-- but if you were there and you'd like me to share them on the recap please feel free to reach out! I'd love to!

Poor Kristian was jet lagged pretty bad.

Source: Kristian's IG Stories

So much Nathan!

Source: Nathan Foad's Instagram Stories

= GalaxyCon Raleigh Panel ==

Tell Tale TV was at the panel and will be bringing some more news in the upcoming days!

Source: Tell Tale TV Twitter

The fabulous @/cecillusive on Twitter was kind enough to let me share their transcriptions of the panel! If you have access to twitter, you can see the Full thread here. First up, apparently audio captioning was displaying what was being said backstage!

Source: Cecillusive Twitter

== Bronson Pinchot ==

Bronson is back with more Ned Low showing up in his Serge clips!

== Minnie Driver ==

Fun news! Minnie will be voicing the new Oswalda Cobblebot (The Penguin) in the animated movie: Batman: Caped Crusade, which arrives August 1!

She was also out at San Diego Comic Con this past week promoting it!

Source: Minnie Driver's Instagram

== Kay Buchanen ==

Our extremely talented leatherworker, Kay Buchanan has been posting some stunning work she's been doing-- including what's available for sale! Are you in the market for some satchels, body harnesses, leather armor, or tassel bags? Well she's got you covered! Visit her Instagram for more info!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kay Buchanan (@kay_buchanan_)

Source: Kay Buchanan's Instagram

== Adopt Our Crew: Articles ==

Adopt our crew spotlighted some quotes from the latest screenrant article that mentioned OFMD and there's some very interesting honk-inducing information in there. Thank you @adoptourcrew for keeping the honk going!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Twitter

== Voting Reminders ==

Only a couple more days to vote for Rhys and OFMD in the Gold Derby Awards! Reminder, you do need to sign up with an email/account to vote! Vote here! Thank you @adoptourcrew for keeping us reminded!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

We're a down by part of a % on the Tell Tale TV Poll! It closes at the end of July! If you are up for voting-- you can do so every day! Most Heartbreaking Cancellation of 2024 So Far Poll

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

More cast cards from the wonderful @melvisik! Ken S. is an action extra in OFMD and Alison Telford is another one of the Casting Directors!

Source: @melvisik's Instagram

= OFMD Colouring Pages =

Our darling @patchworkpiratebear is keeping us fed with more and more ofmd colouring pages! Many of these also have multiple versions now so please check out @patchworkpiratebear's tumblr for more options!

Source: PatchworkPirateBear's Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies, I'm still on crazy hours for work and will be probably through the end of July. I am always thinking of you though, I hope every one of you is well and having a good or at least not too heavy start to the week <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Katie Abey 🌈 (@katieabey)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Katie Abey 🌈 (@katieabey)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Katie Abey 🌈 (@katieabey)

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Tonight's gifs are courtesy of the lovely, the fantastic, the beautiful, the awesome @ofmd-ann and @starfleetavenger-blog!

[minilev]

All the #barbenheimer going on made me feel nostalgic

I had a shit ton of furniture (everything was pink ofc, i started to tolerate this colour just few years ago after all that overdose), food, clothes and SHOES! Oh god, Barbie's shoes! I remember chinese street markets where you could sink your hands into boxes full of shoes for dolls. My mom sew some coats and things of course. There were a flight attendant doll with a suitcase, a mermaid, a brown haired ken in light blue silk smoking (i think it was a marriage set or smth), unrelated toys and things adapted to participate in all the crimes and intrigues our dolls committed as we played...

My first one was Hasbro's Sindy - absolutely insane batshit colours!

I don't remember which one i had. Her hair quickly turned into a mess and i somehow broke her neck so her head had to be pushed all the way down to her shoulders. She was the hunchback, the evil one! She also had huge ass earrings and you literally had to puncture her head all the way in to put them on - strange experience for a child.

In 1996 my parents gave me the Workin' out Barbie with flexible joints. You could open her little player and take out the little cassette! I still have the big real one cassette ;)

And in 2001 i snapped and rebelliously asked for dark haired Barbie. She had cool boots and reminded me Sandra Bullock.

[nvm-illustration]

Ken Block.

I was first introduced to Ken, like most Millennials my age via the Dirt 2 game made by Codemasters in 2009. Kindling a light that I had for rally since the original Colin McRae series. 

The visuals.. the larger than life nature of Ken and the stamp he made on Rally, Rallycross and all those absolutely bat shit insane videos were transformative to say the least. Breathing new light into a motorsports which was very much needed. 

So here's a celebratory piece made after his sad passing away. A homage to the art style and colourfulness that transformed what I thought art could be applied and made it exciting. 

By far the most colourful, crazy piece I've ever made and it's only suiting that this is for him. 

Aint no care.

[allamericansbitch]

Aww I love that you cried too and yes my dad was so sweet about it!

I agree with your thoughts on the movie too - just so lovely, funny and depicted womenhood in a great way. I also loved the Barbie lore incorporated! I got so emotional in the beginning and during the speech that I was all out tears by the end lmao

I think my only mild complaint is the main speech felt a little white feminist in intent (but it's Greta so I expected it lmao). Only because it could apply to any type of maginalised group including men of colour like my dad who definitely felt it. He's very much the Barbie of our household - he does basically everything lol

Yess Allan was a fun time (though I am a lil worried the fandom is overhyping him up over Barbie) and I love that non binary are claiming him cos I can totally see that - he never really gave into the Kens when the movie's conflict arose but he doesn't fit in much with the Barbies either - 🌷

Yeah the one criticism I’ve seen about they’re film (that’s valid at least) is the feminism aspect of it and I agree it could have always been more fleshed out and less basic-level, but like you said it was made by a white women. I’ve also seen people say who have a more complex relationship with their gender say they didn’t love it which also makes complete sense. I kinda went in not expecting a lot regarding gender and the complexity of it, but more just hoping it would be funny and a wholesome feminine experience which it was so I was happy. I didn’t really expect it to say anything revolutionary if that makes sense.

Speaking of Barbie being overshadowed, I’ve seen so many people talk about Allen and Ken giving great praise for their performances but I’ve seen barely anything about how incredible Margot was?? Like she was sooooo good in this movie and really succeeded in making Barbie really fleshed out and interesting, but also the physically of the comedy of playing a doll was perfect. People were talking about how playing Ken makes Ryan Gosling deserving of an Oscar and like he was good but Margot was insane and definitely deserves one more.

[clarionglass]

tagged by @monimolimnion! thanks for the tag babe, it always takes me forever to get around to filling these in but i do love em :D

Last Song: oh god. okay yeah i have been playing neath! a fallen london musical on a loop for the last like. four? four days. yes i know i'm a nerd, but it's a bop and i do not apologise. (the only other thing i listened to today is a bardcore cover of i'm just ken (the youtube algorithm finally got me pegged) and once again i apologise for nothing)

Favourite Colour: purple! it just slaps as a colour!

Currently Watching: does dimension 20 count? if so, i'm tag teaming burrow's end and a starstruck odyssey. if not, i'm watching a show called wolf with the parents purely for reasons of sacha dhawan being unhinged. look the man has never played what i would call a hinged character in his life and i am loving this for him

Last Movie: finally successfully went to barbenheimer part 2: 3 hours of man pain with a pal a couple of weeks ago--we tried it like a month before that and there was only one ticket left. so we just went to see barbie instead (my second time, his first)

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: on the whole, sweet! i am a fiend for chocolate ngl.... although that said, sometimes i get a craving for salty/savoury (usually hash browns) that supersedes the desire for sweet

Current Relationship Status: single,,,,, perpetually so

Current Obsessions: the fuckign. the fuckign larp thing i did a couple of weekends back. fuck. i had to write something for my character over the last couple of days bc i felt actually possessed. wow. other than that i am currently going insane over fallen london, everything d20, and i am preparing for november when i will once again fall deep into my doctor who emotional hole

Last Thing You Googled: "40*8*2=" (although i just used the search bar as a calculator, i didn't actually press enter) bc i wanted to double check my maths was right before i sent an email

tagging @trekthecyborgwizard, @classicallymar, @nonsense-palace, and any other mutuals who see this and want to do it!

[beesbraindumps]

What's up with the Barbie movie??

In light of the Golden Globes, let's talk about Barbie. It’s mind boggling to me how someone was able to take one of the most successful movies of the year and reduce it down to one thing “a classic doll with big boobies”. 

It’s ridiculous. This reductionist perspective is not only absurd but also frustratingly predictable, considering the comment was made by a man.

I’m just so tired of women’s achievements being brushed off as if it was nothing. Oppenheimer made $850 million globally. Wanna know how much Barbie made? $1.36 billion. 

Now I’m not shitting on Oppenheimer, but the two movies are in vastly different categories. A movie like Oppenheimer should rightfully stand on its own merits but due to the “barbieheimer” phenomenon, it just gave another reason to undermine women’s accomplishments.

And well the "barbieheimer" trend was cute and fun, it inadvertently creates yet another box for women's projects to fit into, reinforcing the notion that women must dilute their accomplishments to be more palatable to society. Another standard it should’ve conformed to.

Why do we always have to dilute ourselves to make society more comfortable? Women are always trying to conform to some kinda of box or standard but guess fucking what, the box is different everytime! You will never win. 

Moreover, the backlash against the Barbie movie from some people (not gonna name names) were under the impression that it was an anti-men campaign because apparently when men aren’t the center of attention it means they are the antagonists. The main threat was the majority female cast of the Barbie movie, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, given its subject matter. Giving women the chance to share their narratives without men doing it for them.

The Barbie movie being about barbies (aka women), shocking. 

For too long, men wrote women however they wanted (over-sexualized, insane, materialistic, clingy, and the list can go on) but simply put, they wrote us as they saw us with their own distorted portrayals. Yet here’s a classic taste of men not being able to taste their own medicine.

Meanwhile, critics argue that the only male characters in Barbie are shown in a negative light, demonstrating typical male behavior ( creepy, useless, dominant, ex). However, maybe they were given a new perspective, a woman's perspective. For once male toxicity is shown in major media lacking romanticization, which is why some view it as negative. When in reality, the rose coloured glasses were just removed.

However, this is more than just about the Barbie movie. It’s about the double standard between men and women, not just in Hollywood but also in our daily lives. More often than not I’ll see videos on the internet of men doing the bare minimum and the comment section is filled with “where can I find one like him??”, “brb  sleeping on the highway”, “need someone to treat me like this''. News flash this isn't revolutionary, and if you saw a post about a woman doing all that you wouldn’t even think twice.

Doing the laundry, cooking dinner, watching their own child, all basic stuff. Yet, since these are all activities society is used to seeing women do, when a man does it we all basically trip over ourselves. So as some say, the bar is literally in hell.

 Additionally, our perception of being treated right has become so warped from toxic media portrayals of relationships that someone showing basic consideration deserves awards. This is also affecting how young girls will view love and relationships, which is worrying considering the ‘teen shows’ that are out there now. 

For that reason I think the honest portrayal of men and the relationship between Barbie and Ken is a good thing, giving younger girls the chance to see that you don’t have to be in a relationship at all, especially one that doesn’t make you happy.

In conclusion, the discourse surrounding Barbie and its reception highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics in media and society at large. Women's achievements should be celebrated on their own terms, free from the constraints of outdated stereotypes and unfair comparisons. Only then can we begin to truly appreciate the diversity and complexity of women's experiences and contributions.

[gotatext]

JUDE & NAOMI — DAY THIRTY-THREE.

location :   bedroom.

time :     late afternoon / early evening.

description :   jude lets naomi play dress up. she’s everything, he’s just ken.

featuring :    naomi  /   @heatwayve​

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

“do you reckon hawaiian or paisley?” jude asks, eyes finding naomi’s in the mirror. he’s holding two shirts up in front of himself chopping and changing like a paper dress-up doll.  “hawaiian shirt guy is like, guy who works in recruitment and is here to party. paisley’s like, chill dude who works in the arts and drinks merlot. i dunno what vibe i'm feeling tonight.” 

naomi santos

“ew,” naomi sits up from where she’s been laid out on the bed. she’s not much of a napper, but she didn’t get a ton of sleep last night, needed to lay down a bit. but now people are filing into the bedroom, starting to get ready for the evening, and it seems like now she’s awake to help school the fashionably challenged. “are those your only two options? hawaiian print and paisley?” he hasn’t sold either of them very well, to be honest. “let me see,” she gets up, wandering over to his wardrobe and hip-checking him out of the way a little and thumbing through the options he’s got hanging up for shirts. christ, it’s grim. “maybe you should just keep it simple tonight. do you have anything that’s like…one color?”

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

jude’s eyes dart down at the two options in front of him, suddenly sheepish, hoping to god the colour hasn’t risen in his cheeks. “yeah?” he answers, sounding unsure. honestly, jude had nabbed most of the shirts with fun patterns on their first day, but most of them suited angel more. “i just think patterns are fun. sorry that you hate fun.”  jude makes a dramatic display of being knocked out of the path of her hip thrust, stumbling back from the wardrobe to give her space, the two shirts held limply in his hands like a sports day rosette for ‘taking part’. lips pursed, he scans across the hangers of the shirts, trying to ascertain if any of them lack a print. it’s slim pickings. “i’ve got like, a red corduroy shirt. that could work. it’s just a bit… y’know. i mean aren’t plain colours a bit dry?” naomi might know more about fashion, but jude has his own sense of style. 

naomi santos

"i don't hate fun! just this shit is loud, what is this?" she asks, holding up one of the shirts, "saturday night fever? no." she gives him a look, an exaggerated roll of her eyes as jude stumbles back like he's performing for a football foul. "maybe if you have a nice, like, artistic pattern or something? just not the fucking paisley," naomi implores him. she's not trying to cramp his style completely, just trying to keep him from strutting out there like bob pinciotti. though judging by the volume in the room last night, jenny doesn't seem to really mind either way – though maybe she's gone blind. "it's too hot out for corduroy." she resists the urge to punctuate that with, duh. amazes her how helpless boys can be sometimes.

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

honestly, most of jude’s clothes are louder than on the outside, hoarded as part of his eBay haul on the first day of casa, and probably to compensate for his lack of a personality. adidas jackets and a pair of knock off levi’s don’t really cut it in the villa where everyone else is in vivienne westwood and bloody gucci. “don’t shit on saturday night fever. john travolta’s like… he’s like… an icon or some shit.” though his best role’s probably hairspray. the amount of times jude had to sit through that film as a teenager to placate his sister siobhan… insane. “also! bee gees… they’re from manc.” lifting his hand, he jabs his thumb towards himself. although technically they’re from cholton-cum-hardy where you’d pay eight quid for a schooner of ale when you could get a pint for two pound seventy down the road at spoons. posh fucks. “fine then. if my taste is so shit, you chose my outfit.” honestly, it’s not a bad idea. this could even be fun, movie montage style — he'll come out of the wardrobe in flippers and a snorkel to the sound of a canned laugh track. “bet you’d love to play dress up with me.” because she’s controlling, or whatever the current locker room narrative about naomi is. he doesn’t know much about what happened with her and josh last night, only that he probably got his ass handed to him. “how was the hideaway?” jude asks, slotting the two shirts back into the wardrobe, turning to lean his shoulder against the mirror and face her. “what’s it actually like in there? is it gaudy as fuck?”

naomi santos

she wrinkles her nose, "stop, danny zuko rights maybe, but john travolta is totally gross." she can say that because she's met him. or maybe that's especially why she shouldn't say it. whatever. "that's your style icon? the bee gees?" she asks with a laugh, eyebrows arching, "god, you need more help than i originally thought." even though he's the one who'd actually asked. all she knows about the bee gees is that it's disco, and abba is more fun anyway. naomi tries to contain the excitement that shines in her eyes when jude says that she can dress him up, because this is precisely the kind of thing that's fun for her, lizzie mcguire fashion show montage with ru paul playing in the background. and yeah, she is a bit controlling. "seriously?" alright, she smiles at him before turning around rifle through his things in the closet. he's got the worst of it, all the odds and ends of an already picked-through eBay stash, the leftovers no one wants. it's a good thing that naomi likes a challenge. she tosses him one of the shirts, "try this," she says, rifling through to dig up some kind of jean jacket, which might not even be jude's, "– oh, and this. and maybe..." she tosses him another shirt with a pattern she finds mildly acceptable. it all depends on what he's got for shoes. "oh, yeah," naomi replies, flipping her hair back over her shoulder as she turns around, deciding to stop when she notices the pile of options she's already chucked at him. "it's like. the bratz doll coke lounge. barbie's dream sex dungeon," she snorts. "you jealous?"

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

jude’s “wow” is more from astonishment at her reaction than any of the options she’s tossing him (and there’s a lot of options). if he’d known giving her free reign over his styling choices was all it took to squeeze a smile out of her, he’d have done this sooner. admittedly, it stings a little that she thinks his choice in clothes is whack. jude had always considered himself to be pretty stylish, but maybe it is time to trade in the adidas tracksuits for something more chic — which is what he’d been trying to accomplish with the patterned shirts, but it’s clearly backfired. on the outside, he’s more of a t-shirt and jeans on a night out kinda guy, simple and non-flashy, with a coloured overshirt if he’s feeling fun. “sex dungeon. woah,” jude repeats, eyes wide like one of those cat clocks whose pupils move on each tick. “jealous? of josh? no.” he answers quickly, catching another one of the shirts she tosses him and adding it to the pile of shit laid over his arm. it feels like shopping for siobhan’s prom dress all over again. “of you guys getting a night in the hideaway? yeah kinda. feel like jenny and i would proper thrive in there.” noting that his pile of shit is probably enough to be getting on with, he dumps them on the bed and pulls his current shirt up over his head. “y’want me to like, change in the hallway and walk in so you get the full effect of the fit, or just… do it in front of you?” he’s not uncomfortable with her watching him change—it would feel weird asking her to turn her back when he’s seen her in a bikini like, every day—but it dulls the effect somewhat if she’s just watching him fiddle with the buttons. “or i could try and change inside the wardrobe. pop out like one of those figures in a cuckoo clock, the sound of music style.” he reckons naomi’s probably into all that singing and dancing shit like his sister is. 

naomi santos

she snorts at that, "i meant of josh because he won a night in hideaway,"  though insinuating jude wants her is more of a funny bit than anything now, 'cause she adds, "the lad doth protest too much, huh?" quirks an eyebrow as she anticipates his firm denial. probably just as speedy as the last one. if he hesitates three times, he might invoke jenny like beetlejuice. "you would, though. you guys really get on, huh?" it's a fond question, though maybe a callback to everyone's early disbelief in them. naomi's never felt quite like that, jude's interest in jenny has always been clear to her. she just didn't enjoy how the romi thing transpired. "jude," she cracks up at the way he seems to overthink it, mirth shining in her eyes as her nose crinkles. "you're insane. i can just turn around," she says, half-pivoting on her heel before she stops, "though if you want to try the whole superman thing in the wardrobe, it might look pretty fun..." great fodder for unseen bits, really. "captain von trapp was my first crush, actually." as he should be.

[justamonkeyonautopilot]

My apparent top 100 on Apple Replay 2022 (I don’t actually remember half of these)

1. The Fine Print - The Stupendium 2. I Hope You Never Fall In Love Again - KiD RAiN 3. Trouble - Twin 4. Let’s Groove (2021 Remix) - Danny Darko 5. Toy - Netta 6. We on Top - Photoronique 7. Rich Boy - payton 8. Bad Girls - M.I.A.  9. I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE - Maneskin 10. Last Night (Beer Fear) - Lucy Spraggan 11. The Story - Sara Ramirez 12. Fat Funny Friend - Maddie Zahm 13. Surface Pressure - Encanto Soundtrack 14. Anybody Have a Map - Dear Evan Hansen Soundtrack 15. Beggin’ - Maneskin 16. That Girl - McFly 17. Legends Are Made - Sam Tinnesz 18. Boyfriend - Dove Cameron 19. Down Under - Luude 20. Hey Mama - David Guetta 21. All I Want - Olivia Rodrigo 22. ZITTI E BUONI - Maneskin 23. Mad at Disney - salem ilese 24. Say My Name - Beetlejuice Soundtrack 25. In the Shadows - The Rasmus 26. Obviously - McFly 27. Harper Valley PTA - Dolly Parton 28. Before the Worst - The Script 29. Five Colours In Her Hair - McFly 30. Finale - Anastasia Soundtrack 31. Jumping All Over the World - Scooter 32. Bad Cinderella - Cinderella Soundtrack 33. About You Now - Sugababes 34. Insane - Black Gryph0n & Baasik 35. La Vecinita - Don Omar 36. Alexander Hamilton - Hamilton Soundtrack 37. Thumbs - Sabrina Carpenter 38. Arcade - Duncan Laurence 39. Absolutely (Story of a Girl) - Nine Days 40. Barbie&Ken - kate gill 41. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown - Frank Sinatra 42. The Greatest Show - The Greatest Showman Soundtrack 43. Peter Pan Was Right - Anson Seabra 44. Friend Like Me - Aladdin Soundtrack 45. I Know Him - Hamilton Soundtrack 46. And You Don’t Even Know It - Everyone’s Talking About Jamie Soundtrack 47. As Long as You’re There - Carrie Hope Fletcher & Oliver Ormson 48. The Last Shanty - Derina Harvey Band 49. Land of Yesterday - Anastasia Soundtrack 50. Bad Habits - Ed Sheeran 51. Androgynous - Joan Jett 52. The Fixer - Brent Morgan 53. Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold 54. You’re Welcome - Moana Soundtrack 55. From Now On - The Greatest Showman Soundtrack 56. A Little Party Never Killed Nobody - Fergie 57. Prince Ali - Aladdin Soundtrack 58. Rompe - Daddy Yankee 59. Feel It Still - Portugal. The Man 60. The Whole “Being Dead” Thing - Beetlejuice Soundtrack 61. YES MOM - Tessa Violet 62. Pinch or Snuff - Gaelforce Dance 63. Raise You Up/Just Be - Kinky Boots Soundtrack 64. Bad Girlfriend - Theory of a Deadman 65. The Other Side - The Greatest Showman Soundtrack 66. Finale B - Rent Soundtrack 67. God Must Hate Me - Catie Turner 68. All You Wanna Do - SIX Soundtrack 69. Let’s Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire 70. We Are Young - Fun 71. Back to Black - Amy Winehouse 72. It’s My Life - Bon Jovi 73. Dem Beats - Todrick Hall 74. Dance With Me Tonight - Olly Murs 75. Worth It - Fifth Harmony 76. Cover Girl - RuPaul 77. Green Green Grass - George Ezra 78. Kill the Director - The Wombats 79. Ex-Wives - SIX Soundtrack 80. My Shot - Hamilton Soundtrack 81. Black & White - Todrick Hall 82. Thank You for the Music - ABBA 83. If It’s Not God - Maddie Zahm 84. Rhythm of the Night - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack 85. We Don’t Talk About Bruno - Encanto Soundtrack 86. Sigue Con El - Dj Perreo Mix 87. Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara 88. Gentleman Jack - O’Hooley & Tidow 89. Happily Ever After - He Is We 90. Jai Ho! - The Pussycat Dolls 91. Come Alive - The Greatest Showman Soundtrack 92. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy 93. Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac 94. Believe - Descendants Soundtrack 95. HandClap - Fitz and The Tantrums 96. There’s a Girl - By Abby Dewald & Amanda Barrett 97. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran 98. Kings & Queens - Ava Max 99. Take This Job and Shove It - Johnny Paycheck 100. Wellerman - Nathan Evans, 220 KID & Billen Ted

[kellykadesperate]

ok so thoughts !

Barbie: It was so cute, and very whimsical in a nice way. It definitely had its downsides to me a little — some of the stuff they were saying seemed a little too on the nose, let me tell you what it’s like to be a woman rather than show you — sort of thing. But saying that my friend (a guy) found the more outwardly speech parts really insightful whereas I was just a bit like. Um. Yes? This is common knowledge.

Margot is absolutely amazing. She has this ability to appear really vulnerable and beautiful in a natural way, kind of the same as her performance as Sharon Tate. There’s such a warmth there. Ryan was insanely good as well. When I first watched The Nice Guys I was stunned by his excellent comedic timing and this just showed it again. I will say though again I was a bit like … hm that a film about Barbie had such a big aspect of it being about … Ken? And Ken having this big ballad song and identity crisis and everything. Ryan was great though, really great.

I really liked the scene where Barbie is roller skating and senses a lot of fear and judgement and anxiety from the men around her and Ken is just like I feel admired this is great! It was probably the most on point bit of the film for me. It was just subtle but also very on point.

The Billie Ellish song bit absolutely destroyed me and just made me think of being a kid and having your mum and urgh. It got me in the feels.

So yeah, sometimes it did feel a little too on the nose about things (when Sasha called Barbie all the names under the sun for example) but: Overall, really fun, definitely would watch it again.

Oppenheimer: This is such an interesting part of history and I definitely felt hooked straight away. For me it was a classic Nolan film in the sense that all the drama and the music and the intricate storylines were there, but at the same time I was a little like what???

The actual building of the bomb, the testing, the choosing where it lands and all of that was so exciting and awful to watch at the same time. I could follow it very easily lol. But the mixing up of black and white and colour scenes made me have to really think about where this was in the timeline of things when they could have easily just put on a little date stamp for me to understand. Also Cillian’s accent. Girl. That was wild lol.

The music was outstanding. Literally outstanding. It made everything feel like so much more was happening.

The acting obviously was insane. Emily Blunt in the interrogation scene … ATE

The ending was so ominous but I wished they did a little ‘where they ended up, where are these people now’ and had a look into how bomb alarms in America during the Cold War just to hammer it home all the more.

Overall, really good, but I don’t think I’d rush to watch it again.

off to do barbenheimer !

[bluerskiees]

KAKUCHO HITTO FLUFF ☁️

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

□ Sweetest babie 💞

□ Loves holding your hand. Anytime, anywhere.

□ Gets teased a lot by other bonten members for being too lovey dovey with you. But doesn't care.

□ Shy af. Izana had to ask you out him because kaku couldn't utter a word when he was confessing.

□ The best boyfriend in the character book for a reason.

□ Could never afford to loose you or izana. He adores you both so much.

□ Rants stuff about izana and how he's dumb (sometimes).

□ Poor boi was genuinely depressed for so long after izana's death.

□ Blames himself for it. Often gets nightmares about it. But its okay because you're to help him with that now.

□ "I won't let you feel lonely. I'm going... over there, too... right now. Looks like... we sucked at living." - kaku at izana's death.

□ Feels a part of him taken away. Without izana by his side he can't seem to do anything. He just lost the motivation.

□ Went thru an emo phase.

□ Wanted an emo gworl as his gf when they were young.

□ Prefers black, navy blue, maroon and any dark colours over others.

□ You once pranked him by scaring from behind.

□ You got admitted to a hospital, nearly knocking you off to a coma that day because ur loml punched you in the face as a reflex 🥰

□ Apologized countless times and still doesn't forgive himself for that. Even though you said it was okay. Needless to say, you never did any pranks like that after this.

□ Scared of bugs.

□ Actually good at physics and math. I mean duh— all his punches and kicks are well calculated.

□ Give him a gift once, he'd treasure it for th rest of his life.

□ He's great at photography and videography. Also canon cuz I'm ken wakui.

□ Has many pics and vids of you :(♡

□ If he was an emoji, he'd be "🦋"

< Not only does his name mean butterfly, it does suit his personality more than you think it does. In its metamorphosis from the common, colorless caterpillar to the exquisite winged creature of delicate beauty, the butterfly has become a metaphor for transformation and hope, Both being insanely strong in their own ways, providing hope and support, just like a caterpillar undergoing through a tough that changes its life, kaku went through izana's death and became the man he is today. He definitely did learn a lot of stuffs from izana >

□ You occasionally find him crying in the corner due to stuffs that remind him of izana

□ Loves it when you hug him.

□ Loves pda but still a bit shy.

□ His wardrobe consists of mostly dark coloured cloths.

□ Would kiss your lips/cheeks occasionally if he found you sleeping.

□ Loves helping you when you cook. <3

⤷ ୨🎐୧࿐ @lovingyuzuhafr

[manjiroro]

𝟬𝟯:𝟬𝟯𝗮𝗺

character: mikey

content: fluff, gender neutral reader, crack

synopsis: there’s a cockroach at 3am in the morning

im currently still paranoid over the damn cockroach yesterday so why not write smtg about it

i apologise for any mistakes and i hope you enjoy~~

“when are you coming to bed?”

A half awake mikey mumbles out to you. he had been sleeping for a while now but he woke up to your empty spot next to him.

“sorry babe, i’m coming-”

you were soon cut short. looking up through half lidded eyes, he watches you stand at the foot of the door, not moving an inch. the colour from your face drained as you stared at the floor with wide eyes.

“MIKEY THERE’S A COCKROACH HELP!”

you screamed at the top of your lungs before frantically looking back at him. mikey was definitely awake now, leaping up, he peers over the foot of the bed to look at the insect and the colour from his face drained too, he was so sure he was about to faint looking at how big it was.

“MIKEY DO SOMETHING!”

“NO, YOU DO SOMETHING, I’M NOT LEAVING THE BED.”

the blond stayed on the bed, too afraid to even set foot on the ground, in fear of the cockroach targeting him next. you on the other hand, stood rooted to the ground, afraid that if you were to move a muscle, it would come over to you.

“KILL IT, KILL IT.”

mikey shouts at you, hand grasping onto the bed frame tightly while urging you to do something. you hurriedly shook your head, not wanting to go anywhere near, let alone touch the creature.

“I’M CALLING KEN-CHIN.”

“ARE YOU INSANE? IT’S 3AM IN THE MORNING, MIKEY.”

“THEN WHAT DO WE DO?”

in the end, you decided to cave into mikey’s idea of calling draken. “that was the only way to relieve yourselves of the nightmare” was what you thought. after multiple attempts of calling, draken finally picks up, sleep heavily laced in his voice.

“what mikey-”

“KEN-CHIN WE NEED YOUR HELP, IT’S AN EMERGENCY, YOU’VE GOT TO COME HERE NOW!”

and who is draken to not come over at how panicked the invincible mikey sounded over the phone. draken rushed over to your shared place, thinking that the both of you had been robbed. but once he reaches, he spots you and mikey standing in the corner of the bedroom, huddling together and shaking lightly.

“what happened? are you guys okay?”

draken was definitely concerned at the state the both of you looked.

“KEN, THERE’S A COCKROACH, WE NEED YOU TO KILL IT PLEASE.”

that was when his panicked expression changed, he stood at the foot of your bedroom door, deadpanning at the both of you.

“are you serious right now?”

“YES”

“you called me over at 3am in the morning, to kill a cockroach?”

“YES- IT’S RIGHT THERE KEN-CHIN, QUICK QUICK”

mikey hurriedly points to the insect currently crawling up on the wall next to his best friend. draken sighs before leaving to grab a broom and coming back to smack the life out of the insect. but upon looking at the size of it, a small shiver went down his spine. you and mikey heaved a sigh of relief, the nightmare finally over thanks to your knight in shining armor, or rather, pyjamas.

“thank you ken-chin! we can sleep now!”

mikey chuckles at his best friend while draken pinches the bridge of his nose.

“don’t call me in the middle of the night for shit like this ever again. i’m not gonna answer your call anymore.”

the male grumbles, heading out the door. finally, the both of you are able to sleep in peace now, crawling into bed with mikey’s face buried against your chest, the both of you slowly drifted off to sleep <3

❥ masterlist

[itsafanficthing]

My Sassenach - Said What? Seeing Who?

Obligatory - I’m not dead just bad at writing. I’m sure this is full of errors, grammar and spelling but.... hey it's an update.

A03 Link

“Geillis, you speak Gaelic right?”

Claire watched as the pen paused and hovered over the paperwork Geillis was filling out.

“Aye,” she said slowly.

“Could you… I don’t know the spelling. What does “Mo khiddle” mean?” Claire was certain she had botched the word and it sounded nothing like how Jamie said it. It was much breathier, but rougher (and about a thousand times sexier) when he said it.

“Mo khiddle?” Geillis repeated with her eyebrows scrunched over her forehead.

“It’s something like that. More... I don’t know… more air in it,” Claire answered, her inflection rising at the end as if it was a question.

“Well,” Geillis paused, “‘Mo’ means ‘My’ and ‘khiddle’ is’na a word.” Geillis looked at her paperwork again starting to fill in the details on her patients file. She bit her lip as she tried to think.

Claire rehearsed the word in her head. Jamie has said it to her several times in the night. A few of those times had been when he was deep asleep and her name was in the mix of the words she didn’t understand.

Claire clicked her pen nervously. Jamie had said that he “thought” he was “falling” in love with her. Not that he “was already in” love with her. In all honesty Claire thought that she was in love with him as well but she had repeatedly told herself that it was much too soon for that and she was probably just infatuated.

“Khreah,” Claire said under her breath. She was trying to get it to sound the same way that Jamie said it and she knew that she was falling short.

“Khreach?” Geillis repeated as the scratching of her pen stopped abruptly.

Claire looked up hopefully, maybe she hadn’t got it as wrong as she thought.

“What does that mean?”

“Absolutely nothin’, Love,” Claire looked downcast as Geillis continued, “but ‘Chridle’ does.”

“That sounds exactly the same to me,” Claire shrugged. “What does it mean?”

“Where did ye hear it?” Geillis asked cautiously.

“Is it something bad?”

“No, not at all, it’s just uhhh it’s quite erm, personal.”

“Personal?” Claire asked in confusion.  

“Aye, ye ken in French ye say ‘j’aime’ when ye like something, ‘j’adore’ when ye love something. But when ye… ye have that feeling about someone, ye truly love someone ye say somethin’ like ‘je suis amoureux’, it’s similar in Gaelic. The word ‘heart’ in a medical sense is ‘Cridhe’, but then when ye want to express to someone, erm, the proverbial heart it changes to ‘Chridle’. So, it would mean ‘My Heart’ but not in the sense of ‘I’m having a heart attack’, but more like… ‘you are my heart’. Does that make sense?”

Claire swallowed a few times before she could respond and nodded weakly.

“More to the point,” Geillis continued in a businesslike fashion, “where did ye hear it?”

“Oh, just… around. A movie, I think.” Claire lied quickly- aiming for nonchalance but missed the mark by a mile as her voice shook and her cheeks flushed red.

“A movie?” Geillis repeated, clearly unconvinced. “Someone said it to ye?” Geillis guessed as her pen slammed down on top of her paperwork. “Jamie said it to ye?” She guessed again, her voice rising an octave.

“He might have mentioned it,” Claire all but whispered, concentrating very heavily on the file in front of her, pretending to be absorbed while also trying to hide her flaming face.

“What did he say!” Geillis demanded, turning her body fully toward Claire.

“Well,” Claire paused, taking a steadying breath. “He said that, and uh… that he wanted to see me again, and uhh…”

“I mean, in what context did he say it,” Geillis interrupted.

“Oh, uh, he said it in his sleep.”

“So he slept over,” Geillis grinned.

“Well, yeah, and uh, he said it another time, when we were… you know… together.”

Geillis almost shrieked with laughter, “In the throws of passion then! What a poet!”

“Shhh!” Claire hissed as one of the Senior Nurses passed them with a disappointed glare.

“Ye have to tell me everything!”

“I just have,” Claire disagreed as she closed her completed patient file and picked up the next.

“Ye’ve barely told me anything at all.” Geillis looked back at her file and started to write hastily. “Don’t walk away from me Beauchamp! I want more details.” Claire shook her head at her friend, smiling, and made her way back to triage.

It made sense, Claire supposed, that Jamie would say something like that. Hadn’t she stayed awake with anxiety for an hour after Jamie had said that he thought he was falling in love with her as he was drifting off? They’d only slept together twice. Granted, she was Jamie’s first, so it would be a fair assumption that he would be confusing the feelings of lust and love, but that didn’t really explain how Claire was feeling. She knew that felt something for him, but to say it was love? Well, it was much, much too soon for that.

It all felt too difficult, too confusing, too much. And she was definitely over thinking things again. Classic Claire. She didn’t need to worry about these things; their relationship was still so new, and all things going well, it would continue to progress. She just needed to be sure that she didn’t screw things up before then.

—

-I’ve cooked dinner and I have to say, I’ve very much outdone myself. What time do you finish work?-

The message came from Jamie as Claire was opening her front door. Her stomach was entering the painful stage of hunger, it had moved beyond rumbling and was starting to feel like it was eating itself.

-I’ve just got home. I’ll have a shower and come by?-

Claire didn’t wait for a response before she was hurriedly trying to get out of her sweaty, dirty scrubs and into the shower.

-See you soon.-

—

They were dating now. It was official. Monogamous dating. It felt like it had been far too long since Claire had been in a proper relationship. She had been on so many single dates that entering a proper relationship felt foreign. At what point did it feel like they weren’t “dating” but they were a “couple”? Wasn’t that supposed to happen over several months? Maybe even a year? So why then, when Claire arrived at Jamie’s apartment and he kissed her quickly before ushering her inside to a steaming plate of delicious smelling food, did it feel like a practised routine she’d been doing her whole life? The only thing about it that had felt even remotely off was the time lapse between Claire leaving her apartment and arriving at Jamie’s. That felt wrong. It felt like she was just supposed to come home to him.

And that was - Fucking - insane.

She had known Jamie for all of a month. His apartment shouldn’t feel more like home to her than hers did. HE shouldn’t feel more like home to her then he did.

But it did and he did.

“Honeymoon phase,” Claire reminded herself. They were in the honeymoon phase where everything was still bright, fresh and new. There would be a turning point where the routine would become mundane, and there would be something about him that would piss her off to no end, but she would be in love with him and so it wouldn’t actually bother her. Like right now, he had a bit of sauce on the corner of his mouth, stuck in his stubble. She had tried to get him to lick, wipe, wash- anything- something to get rid of it, and for reasons unknown to anyone, he consistently missed before giving up and just leaving it there. He wouldn’t let her remove it either. When she reached out to wipe his mouth he dodged out of her way while laughing. “Saving it for later,” he said as he stopped her hands.

Jamie was stubborn. Stubborn about the smallest, stupidest things. Maybe one day Claire would be beyond annoyed by this. But today, she found it endearing. There were probably a thousand things about Jamie that she would find annoying in time, but right now she was looking through rose coloured glasses. And things looked good.

—

They were sitting on the couch together, the tv playing in front of them, though neither one was watching, when Jamie brought up the topic of family.

“I was wondering,” he said before pausing for a moment. “At what point in us being an item,” he exaggerated, “do we introduce each other to our respective families?”

“I don’t have any family,” Claire shot back automatically. It was an emotionless reply that she had given hundreds of times. She waited for the soft pitying voice that everyone gave her. “Poor orphaned Claire.”

“Ye might not, but I do, and I’d like ye to meet them,” Jamie said unperturbed by her abrupt response.

“Them?” Claire had to clear her throat before she continued. She was surprised by  how he had breezed past her rebuttal, though she shouldn’t have been. He never reacted the way she expected. “How many people are we talking about?”

“My sister to start with,” Jamie said. “Her husband and my nephew. Once ye get past that hurdle ye’ll be more than ready to face the rest of the Fraser/McKenzie clan.”

“Clan?” Claire repeated dubiously.

“I can trace back my family for generations, near on- Adam and Eve- ye ken they were Scottish?”

Claire snorted with laughter. “Sure they were.”

“I have a large family, I won’t lie to ye, but I’m really only close with my sister, Jenny and her husband- Ian. Ian was one of my best friends growing up.”

“Bit weird that he married your sister, isn’t it?” Claire asked. She didn’t have any siblings but surely that dynamic wasn’t usual.

Jamie shrugged half heartedly. “When ye see them together, they just make sense. I don’t think that they even had a chance to see it any other way.”

Claire nodded in response, not really sure what to say. Was meeting Jamie’s family really that big of a deal? The same woman that she had mistaken for a potential love interest for Jamie. Laughable now of course, but in the moment- guttering. Did she know that Claire thought that she was the “other woman”? How embarrassing if she did! How close were Jamie and his sister? Would he have told her? Maybe not. They’d only just started seeing each other. Why would they talk about Jamie’s dating life? That wasn’t a sibling conversation! Or was it? Claire had no point of reference.

“What’s wrong? Ye look like yer brain’s going about a thousand miles a second,” Jamie chuckled casually as he squeezed her shoulder in comfort.

“Oh, nothing, just… thoughts… thinking…” Claire trailed off.

“But yer ok to meet Jenny and Ian? It would mean a lot to me.”

“I-uh,” Claire hesitated before asking Jamie what she was thinking. “Are you close with your sister? I mean you said Ian was your best friend growing up. Are you still that close?”

“Aye, I think so,” Jamie said through a stretch. “They probably ken the most about me than anyone I know.”

Claire nodded in response, that’s what she was worried about.

“They, um, they know about us? Dating?”

Jamie nodded, “Aye.”

Claire tried to unsuccessfully swallow the lump that had somehow lodged itself quite firmly in her throat. She hadn’t met someone’s family since… well since Geillis she supposed. Nothing ever really lasted long enough or was serious enough to warrant meeting the family.

“I can feel ye trembling, mo nighean donn,” Jamie laughed lightly. “If ye’re no’ ready that’s ok. Just have a think about it.”

“I’m not trembling,” Claire retorted. “It’s just been a while since I’ve met someone’s family. I’m not really sure… what… what it entails.”

“Oh, the usual. I imagine some sort of arm wrestling, they’ll take yer measurements,” Jamie said as he took a generous squeeze of her arse. “Probably grill ye about yer past relationships and what yer plans are with me. Just normal things.”

Claire smacked Jamie lightly on his chest. “Very helpful. Thank you. Can't wait now.”

“I could introduce ye some of my mates first, but that would just be Ian and why no’ rip off the plaster off all at once and get Jenny over and done with at the same time?”

“Why indeed,” Claire mumbled.

“If ye really dinna want to, ye dinna have to. But it’s something that I would like to happen… at some time… in our future,” Jamie hesitated over the words, trying to gauge her reaction.

Claire worked to keep her face calm while her heart just about leapt out of her chest at the mention of “their shared future”. When did she become such a commit-a-phobe?

“Fine. Fine. Rip the bloody plaster off then. Yes, I’ll meet them.”

“Only because ye seem so thrilled about it,” Jamie laughed. “I’ll ask Jen when she’ll be in town next.”

—

Meeting Jenny Fraser- now Murray- was, to put it lightly, an experience. Claire was already nervous but watching the tiny woman who was at least a foot shorter than her, come barrelling down the street toward her and Jamie, husband in tow was positively frightening. The fact that Jenny Murray could command an entire restaurant into an almost revered silence by her very presence alone was, frankly, terrifying.

She pulled Jamie in for a hug before turning to Claire and, (Claire looked for a better word but couldn’t think of one) inspected her. Jenny’s face was polite of course, a warm smile on her mouth, but it was the dark blue cat eyes, so similar to her brothers but about four times darker, that, also like Jamie, were the true tell of what she was thinking. Initially Janet Murray was not impressed.

Ian on the other hand held a completely different impression than his other half. Still shorter than Jamie (though that wasn’t exactly hard, the man seemed like a giant sometimes) he was about Claire’s height with sandy brown hair and kind brown eyes. He greeted Jamie with a hug, much less forceful than Jenny’s, and Claire with a smile and handshake.

Once they had settled at their assigned table, with appetisers, meals and drinks ordered, that’s when the real awkwardness started for Claire.

Jenny updated Jamie on the comings and going’s of the village that they had grown up in. Mrs McKinnely had finally had that knee operation and was in a worse mood than usual. Alexander Poole had sold off the back half of his fathers property to a residential developer and the whole town was furious with him. Mrs McKimme (the name said with obvious clues to Jamie and a quick side eye to Claire) and her daughter were doing well and asking after him at every chance they could.

Ian managed to have a small side conversation with Claire to stop her from nodding along to news about people she had never met before.

Jamie took hold of Claire’s hand at some point and it took her several moments to realise that she was clinging to it for dear life when Jenny started to throw rapid fire questions at her.

“What do you do for a living?”

“A nurse? For how long?”

“Why scotland?”

“How long have you been here?”

“Where’s your family?”

“No siblings?”

“How do you enjoy your work?”

“Any plans for travel in the future?”

Claire felt like she was on a game show as the clock was counting down and one wrong answer would disqualify her from future dates with Jamie. She’d barely answered the last question before Jenny was asking the next.

Finally the entrees came out and Jenny had to take a break so that she could eat. Probably summoning the strength for the next round of the Spanish Inquisition.

“So Claire,” Ian said gently, “what got ye into nursing?”

“My uncle,” Claire answered quickly, afraid that Jenny would start up again. “We travelled a lot growing up and he always managed to injure himself in one way or another. It seemed like I was always patching him up.”

“Yer Uncle?” Jenny interrupted. “What does he do?”

“He was an Archeologist. A professor later in life. Wrote a few books here and there,” Claire answered quietly.

“Well known then, was he?” Jenny continued relentlessly.

“Not particularly. Unless you have a specific interest in Neolithic Mesopotamia,” Claire answered bluntly.

“And where we’re yer parents in all of this? Surely they didn’t relish ye travelling about the globe with yer uncle?” There truly was no stopping Jenny.

“Janet!” Jamie hissed at his sister as she shrugged back at him.

“I wouldn’t think that they care all that much being that they’re dead.” Was what Claire wanted to say. Instead she swallowed the retort and answered quietly. “They passed when I was a child. My Uncle raised me.”

“Oh,” Jenny paused, her eyes finally leaving Claire’s face, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Claire nodded mutely, wondering where the next onslaught of questions was going to come from. She was saved by Jamie taking the lead in the conversation now that it seemed like Jenny had run out of speed.

“Did ye watch the Wales game? I did’na think we were going to pull it outta the bag after that dodgy first half.”

—

It was sometime around when their main meals were almost finished that it seemed that Jenny had finally warmed to Claire. Claire didn’t know what had changed but it was a welcome relief after Jenny’s interrogation. Ian and Jamie were arguing over the merits of some Rugby Centre that Claire had never heard of before in her life when Jenny drew her attention.

“I- ah I wanted to say that I’m sorry about earlier,” she said quietly. “It’s just… my Braither has always seemed to jump in head first to everything he does. He’s no’ had a lot of relationships, and he’s only brought a few lasses around to meet the family, so I ken ye’re special to him, it’s just that,” Jenny paused as she tried to think of the right words. “Ian and I, we’re protective of him. Probably too much if ye ask him. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if it seemed like I was puttin’ ye under the furnace.”

Claire smiled tentatively at Jenny. “I can understand that.” She desperately wanted Jenny to like her, if nothing else than for Jamie’s sake.

“Aye, ye’re gracious.” Jenny blushed slightly. “Truly though.”

“I mean I didn’t say that I’d like to experience another interrogation again anytime soon,” Claire smiled shyly.

“I suppose no’,” Jenny grinned in return. “Feel free to giv’ it back to me all ye like. I’ll happily give ye all the dirt on this wee lad, including’ the time he jumped butt naked into the Broch in the middle of winter and nearly froze his bollocks off because Lisa Annister said that she’d lay one on him if he did.”

“Oi,” Jamie grumbled, his and Ians’ conversation momentarily abandoned as Claire laughed.

It wasn’t instantaneous, and it took most of dessert and a few glasses of wine, but it was there- the beginning of a friendship. Claire didn’t have a lot of friends, she didn’t need to surround herself with people, she preferred her relative solitude, but there was something about Jenny Fraser. It sort of seemed like Claire didn’t really have a choice on whether they were going to be friends or not. Jenny had already decided and Claire found that she didn’t mind that much after all.

If it was for Jamie, she wondered what she wouldn’t do.