#AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF NAMES...I'LL ALSO HAVE TO PUT THE REST OF MY GENDER MENTION CHANGE DOSSIER TOGETHER
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waiting for my new id card w finally legally changed name on it. also wishing for my next endoc appointment that she'll up my dose OR AT LEAST lessen the times between shots cos i feel like im going crazy
#might be the heat#it's mostly the heat i think#real paperwork starts whenevr i get my new id card...... real hard annoying shit#AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF NAMES...I'LL ALSO HAVE TO PUT THE REST OF MY GENDER MENTION CHANGE DOSSIER TOGETHER#AND THEN ASK AROUND AGAIN TO CHANGE TO MISTER EVERYWHERE AUUUGH#la securité sociale là.... comment je veux sauter du 3eme étage c'est terrible.
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What about male reader being Alfred's nephew who came to live with him because his parents died or were just unfit parents? Alfred isn't all too happy that he's here, but not because he hates him, no, but because Gotham isn't the safest place and the fact that he's bow living with the vigilante family isn't the greatest fact. I feel like Alfred would be very overprotective of his nephew, and just the family's reaction to Alfred's nephew, i feel like the family didn't really ask Alfred about his family and such .
Oh yeah, some Alfred for the soul. That man needs more love. Also, this will be under Batfamily since I'm too lazy to put a new masterlist for Alfred.
Summary: Alfred's nephew comes to live with Bruce and the rest of the fam.
Warnings: child abuse, mentions, mentions of what happened, everyone trying to make sure that (Y/N) is comfortable, Alfred being protective.
Alfred left the UK and London behind a long time ago. He had his training and career as a soldier and then as a spy. Soon enough, his path led him to the USA, where he got a job as a butler for the Wayne family, even before Bruce was even in the picture. It wasn't really easy to leave his life behind, but Alfred knew it was for the better.
He needed a new beginning after everything he has witness over the years. Especially since his sister cut contact with him. Alfred, while said, he knew he couldn't change her mind in the slightest. But that didn't matter today. What mattered was his new family and his four grandsons and son.
Yes, he did consider Bruce to be his son. After all, he did raise him from when he was 7. And as his four grandsons came along, he was happy.
As far as his old family? Around 13 years ago, his sister had a baby. A boy named (Y/N). Yes, Alfred kept some tabs on his family, just to make sure that everything was like okay back there. Years went by and when (Y/N) was 13, Alfred got a call.
It wasn't a pleasant one.
Alfred sighed as he ended the call, rubbing his temples, muttering a lot of unpleasant things underneath his breath. His nephew (Y/N) was taken out of his sister's custody because she was abusive in every since of the word. And in every shape too.
Starving, beatings... Neglect...
Alfred was really mortified and he could barley speak as he remembered the conversation... He sighed and quickly made his way down to the kitchen opening up the cabinet where he held the strongest drinks in the manor. He poured himself a glass of scotch, since it was the first thing he could see.
I downed the scotch in one sip before pouring himself another one. He sighed yet again, leaning on the kitchen counter, trying not to snap.
" Something happened? " Bruce asked from behind him and Alfred sighed for the third time.
" Well master Bruce... Something did happen. " Alfred said, taking the glass and turning around to face Bruce. Alfred knew that (Y/N) had to come live here... But this family is full of vigilantes... But this is also a safe space too.
" What happened Alfred? " Bruce asked, worried for the man. Alfred is often composed and sarcastic, but now, he was shaken and just... Sad?
" My nephew is in the custody of CPS, well, at least the British version. " Alfred started and Bruce crossed his arms as he leaned on the doorway.
" I didn't know you had a nephew... " Bruce admitted softly and Alfred chuckled, sipping his scotch slowly.
" Yeah... My sister cut contact with me a long time ago master Bruce... " Alfred acknowledged and Bruce nodded, not knowing what to say.
" Either way... I'm the only family he has master Bruce, which means he will have to come here. " Alfred whispered, downing his scotch again.
" That's not a problem Alfred. I'll make space for (Y/N), clear out one room for him and talk to the boys. " Bruce responded and Alfred shook his head, making Bruce frown and tilt his head in confusion.
" That's something I know you would do master Bruce. " Alfred explained and poured himself more scotch. " It's... You are Batman and the danger that comes with that name... I can't bring my nephew into more danger. " Alfred finished explaining and downed the scotch once more.
" It will be different. We will be honest with him. " Bruce said and Alfred did have to agree, they had to be honest with him.
" He will flying here tomorrow master Bruce, so we will need to pick him up. But before hand, we need to talk to the boys. And it will need to be serious. "
" Of course it will be serious Alfred. (Y/N) will feel safe here. And if any boys are out of line, send them to me Alfred. I'll call them down now so we can talk about this. " Bruce said before he went upstairs.
Alfred just finished a bottle in the meantime.
Bruce sat his sons down, telling them that this is very serious.
" Now, listen to Alfred intently. He is officially a lead on this. " Bruce said and sat down. The four boys looked at Alfred, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
" Well... My nephew is coming here to live with us. His parents, my sister and her husband were abusive to him... Physically, verbally... They starved him too... Either way, he is in a bad mental place. Which means that you four better be on your best behavior. No fights in front of him, both verbal and physical. Don't force him to talk about it and try to befriend him. " Alfred finished, looking at his grandsons with a pointed look.
" Is that all you had to say? " Dick asked and Alfred nodded.
" You have a nephew?! " Jason exclaimed and Alfred nodded.
" Okay, that... I thought you had no family. " Tim said and Alfred sighed and Bruce smiled sadly.
" I thought you were an agent for the MI6 and had no family... Like killed off. " Damian said and Alfred sighed yet again.
" Okay boys, that's enough commentary. " Bruce said and they all grumbled. " It's important that (Y/N) feels safe here. And Alfred has my full permission to put you all back in line. "
" As if he ever needed permission. " Jason mumbled quietly and Dick smacked the back of his head.
" Thank you master Dick. "
" Everyone, this is (Y/N). " Alfred said, introducing his nephew to his grandsons. " (Y/N), these are the infamous Wayne kids. I don't think anymore introduction is needed. " Alfred said, glancing at his shy nephew.
" Now (Y/N), let me lead you to your room. " Alfred said and gently lead (Y/N) to his room. It was one of the bigger ones, with a lot of room and a comfortable bed.
" Now (Y/N), are you hungry? Because it's lunchtime in America at the moment. " Alfred said as (Y/N) put a small suitcase on the bed.
" I could eat something. " (Y/N) said and Alfred nodded, smiling at the fact that (Y/N) would eat something.
" I was thinking about some burgers actually. I can make a good one, with my awesome recipe. Do you want to come down or do you want to stay in your room? " Alfred asked softly.
" I would like to go down... This is a nice place... " (Y/N) said, still nervous.
" I agree it is nice, now come on mate, lets go down. " Alfred said and let (Y/N) go down. Alfred gently led him down to the kitchen and (Y/N) sat down, the boys all around him, keeping some distance, trying to not make him feel overwhelmed.
" So... Is it true that the Queen is a lizard? " Jason asked out of the blue and (Y/N) rolled his eyes at that, but with a smile.
" She passed away. " (Y/N) said and Jason raised his brow.
" No. "
" Yes. "
Jason scoffed with a smile and Alfred listened as he started making the meat mixture for the patties.
" Is it true that people from London speak the best English? " Dick asked and (Y/N) rolled his eyes.
" It's not true. It's so far from the truth... " (Y/N) said and Dick chuckled.
" Well, the royals are there and they must be educated... So how come? " Dick joked and (Y/N) shrugged his shoulders.
" Is it true that gun control is tighter? " Jason asked curiously and (Y/N) nodded.
" Damn... Well, welcome to the land of freedom. " Jason joked and (Y/N) smiled, but it was tiny. Tiny as hell.
" If you hear a bald eagle screeching it means you have reached the peak of staying here. " Tim stated and (Y/N) rolled his eyes a bit.
(Y/N) turned his head when he saw Titus, the Great Dane walking in with his head high and tail wagging at the sight of a newcomer. Damian was ready to intervene if necessary, but Titus was calm with people.
Damian watched as Titus sniffed (Y/N)'s hands, licking them softly and then (Y/N) hesitantly petting him.
" What's his name? " (Y/N) asked, not sure who to ask directly.
" His name is Titus. " Damian answered as he kept watching, tilting his head in wonder.
" Is he yours? " (Y/N) asked as he scratched Titus' ears.
" Yes he is. " Damian answered and (Y/N) moved down his hand to Titus' cheek. " He is huge... " (Y/N) mumbled as he kept patting Titus, who was wagging his tail.
" He is a Great Dane so he is big. " Damian explained and (Y/N) stopped petting him, making Titus whine.
" He is a big baby. " Jason chimed in and Damian nodded.
Alfred put the things he needed aside and checked on (Y/N) and the way he was handling the situation was great. The boys didn't push him, joked about something with him... And (Y/N) was comfortable. That was the most important thing here.
Thankfully, Alfred and Bruce both have experience with sort of traumatized children so (Y/N) will be able to heal properly. And the truth about them being vigilantes... Well, that can wait until (Y/N) is more stable.
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Corruption
💌 Pairing || Xavier x Reader
→ Slightly Suggestive ; Lowkey Yandere? Xavier ; Unestablished Relationship ; Quite Literal Opposite of Original! Xavier
🪄 :: No because the corrupted xavier fanarts are everywhere, and I can no longer stay quiet about it
"Found you.."
You were fighting a wanderer, and seems like the God of luck despise you today. You were injured, not too bad that you can't move. But the injuries do slow you down, you contacted the first person that came to mind, not knowing what exactly happened on his side.
And then there's a black shadow appeared before you within a blink of an eye, the next second the wanderer disappeared. You sighed in relief upon seeing, a familiar yet, also not familiar figure at the distance.
"... Xavier?— ..Why's your clothes all— black, now—? Wait no, that doesn't matter.. Thank y—" Before you could finish your sentence your figure is engulfing into his arms. "Shh.. I'll take care of you." And the next moment you're getting picked up bridal style, "Wh—?!?!! X, Xavier! You don't need to go this far—" "You can't walk, you'll only slow me down."
You pouted at his statement, but he's not entirely wrong either, with the injuries you have, you'll definitely slow him down. So you stayed still and quiet in his arms.
After walking for awhile, Xavier told you to close your eyes, only for you to open them and you're already at a different place. It's his apartment, he sat you down at the couch. "Stay." He said firm before leaving you all alone in the living room.
Something seems off from him, he seemed, much more.. bolder than usual? Also his bangs are covering his other eye, the light in his eyes seems dimmer than before. You frowned upon the discovery, and you snapped out of your pondering the moment you heard footsteps coming to where you are.
"..Let me see the injuries" Xavier said, as he kneeled before you, waiting for you to show him where your injuries are. "I- ..I can do it myself!—" You were about to grab the spray, he moved his hand out of your reach. "Show me the injuries where you can let me see" he said, you sighed and eventually showed him some spots and let him spray your wounds.
After he's done, he gave the spray to you and went back to his room, you looked at his retreating figure confusedly. And the next second he walked out empty handed, "I prepared a change of clothes, you can heal the rest of your wounds in my room, I'll be waiting for you out here" He started off.
"If you need help, call me"
. . .
You're now in his room, all alone. You stared at the spare clothes Xavier put on his bed, you frown at the sight. Your eyes slowly drifted down to the spray in your hold, you recalled on how Xavier behaved around you, how he spoke, how his voice sounded.. lower than usual too.
You shook the thoughts away as you tried to patch yourself up, but after awhile you seemed to struggle on one. So you sat at the edge of his bed, contemplates if you should call him or not. But your lips seemed to have a mind of its own, your voice echoed throughout the room, calling his name.
And then you heard footsteps coming closer to the bedroom, closer and closer, and eventually you heard a familiar voice behind the door. ".. What's wrong?" He asked oh so softly, "I, Uhm, I need help with something"
. . .
You don't know how you ended up in this situation, but your back facing Xavier, you're not wearing his shirt, you're only in your undergarment. But you did wear his pants. It's definitely, too long for you. But that aside, you're biting back a hiss upon Xavier applying ointment on your wounds on your back.
"..Okay, we're done" He said, you sighed in relief when you heard that. "Thank you Xavier.." You thanked him, but he was so quiet behind you. And when you're about to check up on him, he suddenly pulled you into his arms. "Xav—" You were about to call out his name, but then you felt something soft and warm at your nape.
It's his lips.
"Hmm.." He hummed softly, his arms wrapped slightly tighter around you. "Next time.." He sighed, "Bring me with you, okay? " He said, sounded like he demand you to do what he said to be precise. "But you're—" When you're about to retort you heard him grunt in disapproval, that made you shut up for a moment.
"Okay, fine.." "Good" He whispered huskily right next to your ear, making you shiver in his hold. "I don't want to see you in this state again in the future" his hand dangerously went down to your lower half, slowly sliding to your thighs. To inner thighs, "Xavier—.." Your breathing start to get ragged, "Hm?" He hummed back but his lips didn't stop.
His lips continue leaving trail of kisses, down from your earlobe, to your neck, to your shoulder. Sometimes even nibbling on your skin as he did so, "What?.." You glanced at his figure from the corner of your eyes. "W, what are you doing..." You asked, and your eyes immediately drifted down to where his hands are.
They have found their way to your inner thighs, gliding closer, dangerously closer to where you probably want him to touch. "Giving you love?.." He sounded unsure, and he stopped moving for one moment. Before he continue his onslaught on you, your breath hitched when he nibbled on your earlobe.
"Stay with me tonight" He whispered, "I'll take care of you.."
"...I promise I'll be gentle"
©littlestarconch
🪄 :: I am fine, live laugh love Xavier. I'll probably post something about Rafayel later.. maybe..
#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x you#lads x reader#lads#lnd xavier#xavier love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#xavier#xavier x reader#xavier lnd
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Can you write Mike Taking readers virginity or mutual masterbation where he is more dominant and a lot of praise pleaseee
YESSSS, I'll do both my lovely anon��! (Also if u want to be a certain emoji type of anon u can put "-Anon🦈" or smth like that)
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙
☆ Double Night Guards ☆
Synopsis: You were both hired to watched an old run down pizzeria, while Mike and you only had subtle interactions he still thought it count. You would mostly clean the place up here and there, while Mike stayed back in the office watching the camera's, if he wanted to do this he would have to do it quick before you came back...
Tw: mutual pining, mutual masterbation, dirty talk, foul language, LOTS of praise, virginity loss (reader), manhandiling, Dacryphilia, dumbification, mentions of pregnancy, creampies, slow burn-ish, somniphilia, hair pulling, body worship, pet names, full Nelson, smut n' flufff, and nice after care.
A/n: Also I'm sorry other anon my bsf typed 'sure' on it and posted it but I couldn't get it back but I hope it was similar to this... :((
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙
You were both hired about a week ago, you still haven't gotten used to your new sleep schedule but you did manage to get up. Only a few minutes late.
Surprised that you woke up early today, you had gotten ready eaten breakfast and drove off for work.
It was obvious you were going to be getting there earlier than Mike, so you decided to look around the pizzeria for some cleaning utilities. You did find them in a closet near the end of the hall.
You grabbed what you needed and got to work, starting in the bathrooms would be a bad idea so you decided to stroll near the front of the run down restaurant.
It took you about 10 minutes to move all of the furniture, stacking the children chairs in a corner and pick up the loose trash off of the dirty carpets.
You had music blasting and hadn't noticed Mike had entered through the double glass doors. He was nervously standing there not knowing what to do, he decided to tap on your shoulder.
That quite obviously scared the living shit out of you, whipping your body around and your shirt and vest hiked up your body a bit.
You had giggled lightly and picked up remaining trash beind you on the danty carpet, you heard Mike shift a little bit behind you. Weird...
"Scared the fuck out of me, Mike!" You laughed out
He rested his right hand behind the nape of his neck while awkwardly stuttering.
"Uhh, I-I'll just g-go to the, uhm.." Mike was clearly struggling
"Office?"
"Yeah, that.."
You told him that you wanted to stay out here and clean around the place because of how gross it was and how it was making your dust allergy kick in.
Mike just nodded in response and walked swiftly away to the shared office you both had, he was kind of relieved that you weren't watching cameras.
He would get the worst aching boner because of you. Mike would become so desperate that he would be clenching the armrests of his chair.
Besides that he was not as overwhelmed as much, that was good, he just sat there and watched the cameras. Checking on the animatronics and something else...
Job wise, you and him were good colleagues. You both have respect for each other and respect boundaries. But he wanted to cross the line, he wanted to see how far you could go without overdoing it.
Mike would have to shift himself in his pants everytime you would bend over to grab something. You broke something in him, he was getting needier the more you both came to work.
You had just finished cleaning the dining area and moved onto the stage where the main 3 were. Opening the curtains manually and shining your flashlight in to see what you were working with.
That didn't matter to Mike, what mattered was how you looked when you had the bottom half of your body hanging off the edge of the duty stage while the top was laying down trying to dust best as possible without stepping onto the stage.
That's when he broke, in that exact moment. 'What if- I could be quick, right, she won't know..' Mike told himself.
He focused onto the old beat up camera screen while palming himself through his jeans, he used the back of his other hand to muffle his deep groans that came out of him.
Mike was extremely focused on you, he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants and boxers to the end of his thigh. Precum was dripping mini droplets from the slit on the top of his pretty red tip.
He slowly started to palm himself, making sure not to be to loud, Mike took his time and played with his slit and continued to lather precum on his whole length.
Mike ruffled his hair back while he picked his pace up a bit, he let his head hang back while he lolled his tongue out a little. (Futureman reference)
He nearly came when he saw that you had dropped something under a table and had to get on all fours to try and reach for it. Your ass sticking out from behind you.
Mike whimpered from the way you moved, you had taken your vest off and had a black tank top on that made your tits almost spill out when you walked.
He thrusted into his hand and started to moan a little but not to loud, as he was cautious so you wouldn't find out.
Mike's cock was twitching, that was telling him that he was getting closer to his release.
"Fuckkk, {Y/n}-" he groaned
Then the coil in him snapped apart, he came. There's was a lot rolling down his knuckles, his bare thighs, and some splatters got onto the camera screens.
His chest was heaving heavily, soft whispers of your name could be heard from his mouth. Mike reached for his tissues and cleaned himself along with whatever was hit.
Right after Mike threw the last of the mess away into the trash, you entered the room. Also breathing heavily, from the cleaning of course. He fixed his clothing and sat back down onto the chair, manspreading.
This man did wonders on you, but he was so oblivious that it was cute. But when he did that pose. Oh it went straight down to your core, making your walls flutter with excitement.
But you couldn't just take your bottom of right there and spread your legs open and start fingering yourself while playing with your-
You just couldn't, you didn't even know him like that. So you just had to wait, the last of the 4 hours of your shift. Tonight was going to be long..
You would both awkwardly stand there and not utter a word, you noticed that Mike had extremely heavy eyebags.
"Hey, if your tired, you could sleep..I could take over.." you uttered cautiously
His eyes lit up, he nodded a yes and moved to where you were sitting and switched spots. Throwing yourself onto the office chair.
Looking at the cameras seeing that nothing was wrong, you peered over your shoulder to see a beautiful man sleeping before you. I mean, you could?
"Fuck it.." you mumbled barely over a whisper
You didn't want to take all of your clothes off so you came up with a better plan.
While slipping your hand into your pants, teasing yourself through your panties. Glancing from the old cameras to Mike's sleeping body.
You used your hand to grip the armrest part of the chair, getting a bit frustrating. You slipped your delicate fingers past your panties.
Circling your clit and picking up your slick from your needy hole to lather over your throbbing clit. You let out a huff but quickly silenced yourself once you saw that Mike started to stir.
But that didn't mean you were stopping, putting more pressure onto your clit made you gasp. That wasn't even enough.
You picked your pace up and started to slip two fingers into your gaping hole, the silence was loud only to be interrupted by the slick noises of your throbbing cunt.
"Shiiiit- Mike-" you loudly whispered
You started to finger yourself faster and used your palm to rub your clit. This got you closer, making you let out little ah ah ah's every time you slipped in and out.
That's when you burst, your thighs were shaky and your cum was covering your panties and hand. You got up quietly and rushed to the bathroom to wash your hands. And you came back to continue your shift.
And soon it reached 6 AM, you gently woke Mike up.
"What is it?" He groggliy asked
He must've forgotten we were at work.. you thought
"Mike, our shift just ended, we can go home now." You told while putting your jacket on and gathering your belongings.
He mouthed an oh and got up to grab his stuff. You both got out of the pizzeria and Mike locked up, that was because you couldn't trust yourself with keys whatsoever.
You lived a few houses down from Mike which wasn't bad, if him needed anything he would probably come to you first.
Before Mike got into his car you called his name.
"Hey, uhh, do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night? I was told that we don't have a shift until next week.." you shyly asked
"Uhm, yeah!"
"Oh, also, you can bring Abby!" You happily smiled at him before getting into your car.
And with that, you drove off back to your house. Heart beating rapidly from inviting your coworker over to your house for dinner.
You had no idea what to cook, but then it hit you. You've babysat Abby before, and you knew what food she liked the most. Spaghetti and pizza.
So you got to work, you obviously made the pizza a day before because making homemade pizza dough takes hours to rise. So you didn't want to rush anything.
After an hour or so, you had left the dough in a bowl with plastic wrap on the top to let it rise. And so with that, you went to take a nap.
You woke up around 4 PM, you kind of forgot what time to tell Mike to come over. So you called him.
Ring!
Ring!
Ring!
He finally answered and asked who this was.
"Hey, it's {Y/n} I forgot to tell you what time to come, for, you know, dinner.."
"Anyway, I was thinking 5:30?" You continued
His side of the line went a bit silent.
"Yeah, sounds great. Me and Abby will be there in awhile.." his raspy voice coughed out
You both said your goodbyes and you went straight to the kitchen. Having to make the spaghetti, doesn't seem hard. So you finished that within an hour and set the table as best you could.
You waited in the living room until you heard a knock on your door. Must be them! You thought.
You shuffled to put a jacket on while stumbling to the foyer. You fixed your hair a bit and opened the door.
"Heyy, come on in you guys!" You warmly smiled at Abby and Mike.
Abby rushed in and hugged you by your waist, you happily sighed and hugged her back. Mike just awkwardly stood there and waited.
You let Abby go and took Mike's hand to lead him through your house while Abby let herself in and excitedly explored.
Mike reminded her not to be as nosy at home and not to break anything. You giggled a little from the sibling interactions that they had.
Once all three of you got into your kitchen you showed them to the made dining table. You never saw Abby so happy, she sat down and beckoned for you and Mike to come over.
You both sat down and made plates, after about an hour. Abby was sitting on the living room floor while she watched TV. You and Mike were observing from afar.
"She's so cute, I wish I had my own kid.." you sighed
Out of the corner of your eye you saw Mike flush a tint of red on his cheeks, while scratching the nape of his neck.
Don't say it. Don't say it. He told himself.
"Well, what if...what if I gave you one?" He stuttered a bit but had some confidence in him.
Your eyes widened but soon turned into a soft smile.
"I would love that, Mike.." you said while resting your arms on his shoulders
"Oh!" His voice was above a whisper
You gave him a quick kiss on the lips and walked toward Abby. Leaving Mike all hot and bothered.
"Hey Abs, do you have school tomorrow?" You kindly asked while resting your hands on your knees.
She shook her head.
"I was thinking, what would you think of a sleep over at my house tonight?" You told her
She jumped up and hugged you while thanking you and asking where she would sleep.
You lead her to a guest room and let her choose a pillow and blanket to use, she smiled and got her bed ready.
"If you want, you can continue watching TV until 12 PM." You smiled
She thanked you again and ran off down stairs. Leaving you and Mike alone, you had brought him to your room.
"So, about that baby you were going to give me..." you inquired
He turned beet red, reenacting what he had said to you earlier. Mike's expression softened and he sat on the edge of your bed while holding your left hip and your cheek.
Mike nodded and pulled you into a kiss, it was sloppy but needy. He pulled you onto his lap and pulled on your hair so it made him look down at you.
You moaned into his mouth from the pressure, he smiled against your lips. Moving down to your neck leaving hickeys where he wanted them. Mike obviously made sure to lock your bedroom door before he sat down.
Mike tugged at the hem of your shirt, pulling it over you head showing that you hadn't worn any sort of bra, he whimpered at the sight of you bare.
Just for him, his good girl. And his only good girl.
Mike attached his wet lips to one of your plump breast. He sucked and gave it kitten licks. His actions as of now made your head roll back as you started to roll your hips on his clothed dick.
He bit lightly onto your harden nipple to see your reaction and oh did he get one. You pushed Mike's head further into your chest, unlocking something in him.
He sucked a little harder and thrusted his hips up to meet your low grinding. Groaning into your breasts sending sensational waves through you.
Mike could spend hours touching your tits, just squishing them or giving them little kisses is his go to when he's with you almost all the time.
As of right now, all he wanted to do was give you pleasure and so he did. Mike looked up at you through his half lidded eyes and licked a strip from the bottom to the top of your boobs.
Throwing your head back and babbling incoherent words under your breath.
"Mikey, please! I need it, right now! Please, I'll be a good girl!"
He loved the little nickname Mikey. It sends butterflies straight to his stomach, wanting- needing you.
That was it, he couldn't take it anymore. He struggled a little to get all of his clothing items off but he was soon bare and he ripped your shorts and panties along with one swift movement of his hands.
Mike loved how you were wet for him, making his cock's tip was already leaking with his pretty precum.
Giving himself a few strokes making him twitch in his own hand. Mike let go and positioned you so your head was on a pillow and put another pillow under your lower back.
"Alright baby, are you ready? It might hurt, its okay." Mike whispered beautiful nothings into your ear.
"Gonna start with the tip, okay darlin'?" Fuck, he was doing a number on you with his voice.
Mike swiped his cock head along your folds, making you huff out in sexual frustration.
"Deep breath in..." he muttered loud enough for you to understand before slowly rutting his tip into you.
The head was tugging on your cunt, his praise made your pussy to become slick with your juices.
"I'm gonna go slow, okay my love?" You only nodded in response and waited
It was abrupt, it stung but it felt so fucking good. Mike had only made it a little bit more than halfway before you started to nudge closer to him so he could bottom out.
"Aww, little whore wants more? I'll give you more you fucking slut-" he grunted while thrusting his hips into you entirely.
Arching your back off of the bed and nearly loosing your eyesight from rolling your eyes to the back of your head. Mike chuckled lightly while slowly rolling his hips, in and out of your sopping cunt.
"Thought you wanted it sweetheart?" He teased
He grabbed the back of your thighs and pushed them a little, getting the perfect view of how your needy pussy was taking him. Mike soon lifted your right leg onto his shoulder while the other planted into the mattress.
Mike picked his pace up a bit and started to feel a knot forming in his stomach, as he moved faster and faster until he couldn't move any faster. He grew bored of the position you were in so he gripped the back sides of both of your thighs and moved up and rested your knees on either side of your head.
Eye widening that you were capable of folding like that, not complaining. He continued to fuck his cock into your puffy cunt. You tightened your walls around him.
"Fuucckkk, this pussy is just milkin' me isn't it?" He grunted
You were close, it was obvious because you let little ah's out and your breathing became uneven. Your thighs were trembling a little.
"Gonna be a good girl and let me cum in you?" His grunts became his breath sharpening through his gritted teeth.
You nodded aggressively, giving him the go. It only took a few more pumps until you clenched around him, having your eyes roll back while whispering his name incoherently.
Mike came right after, filling your pretty pussy with his hot seed. He pulled out and saw how your cunt clenched around nothing and his cum spilling out.
He sighed and got up to the connected bathroom of your room and got a damp towel to clean you both up before he gathered a new pair of clothing and dressed you and himself.
Cuddling up, spooning you and letting out a satisfied sigh.
"Did s' good for me, princess.." he mumbled while nearly drifting off.
Rubbing small circles on your shoulder.
"I love you {Y/n}, I always have." Mike gave a quick kiss on your cheek before dozing off while warmly wrapping around you like a love letter.
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
I'm so sorry if this is half assed. This is one of the longest fics I've ever written. School just sucks and I type on my phone for writing (I don't have a laptop lmao). Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this, love you pooksters 🫶💤 (I'll prob work on the other fics in a later time. Sorry my luvs💞)
#fnaf#josh hutcherson#michael afton#mike schmidt#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt x reader#smut#michael afton x reader#josh hutcherson x reader#half assed#fanfic#fnaf movie#fnaf smut
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Wrote this at a laundromat so I hope you guys like it
Ghost had just moved to Scotland to get away from everything. His family's murders stayed a constant thought in his mind, but more than that, he didn't want anyone still loyal to Roba to find him. After wiping them off the map, he decided to do something he never thought possible.
Chose himself.
So he made his way to Scotland where no one would know Simon Riley and he bought a house and lived next to a small town so he could go over and get whatever supplies he needed before coming to hide again.
That's where he met him.
A local man who apparently was involved in the church and was in general a great person.. Most people referred to him as Soap, which Ghost thought was a very strange name, but he had also heard MacTavish which seemed more realistic.
The man saw Ghost, probably decided he was emotionally vulnerable, and decided to skulk around him. He asked, begged, pleading for Ghost to join his congregation.
Ghost turned him down each time, though he did love to see a pretty man beg. Once, he lifted lifted his mask, let him see the Glasgow smile cut into his cheeks. He hoped that Soap would assume gang member or miscreant and leave him alone, but it seemed to spur him on.
Soap MacTavish, savior of big buff men. Patron saint of being annoying.
Ghost started... watching him. The way he moved. His smile, just a little too wide with teeth a little too sharp.
He was... handsome. Seemingly kind. But Ghost was like a stray. He didn't trust affection and he wanted to keep it that way. No matter how honeyed Soap made his words or how kind the scraps he offered. Something about the man was unsettling.
Soap simply knocked on his door one day at dusk. Ghost only answered when he had his mask on. He had some kind of food in containers. "Hey! Several people I know made me these and gifted them to me, but I don't think I'll be able to eat all they gave me. Thought you might appreciate them. I know I'd be homesick, in such a new area."
Ghost stared at him, hands itching. "How did you know where I lived?"
"i knew the people who lived here before. Laid them to rest myself. Saw their last rites and all that. No other empty house around for miles."
"Other people know...?"
"Doubt it. Most don't think of you too much." Soap sniffed, looking around. "I assumed that's what you'd prefer."
"It is. Thanks."
Soap smiled. "I'll keep it between us." He kept standing there. Just waiting.
"I'm not going to invite you inside."
Immediately, those soft lips turned into a pouty frown. "At least take the desserts. I really do have no use for them."
Ghost didn't want to disappoint him for some reason, so he awkwardly took the food. "Okay. Address between us right?"
"Of course. With God as my witness." Soap grinned and left.
If Ghost would've thought about it, he'd made him promise to never come back as well. But he did not do that.
He went into his kitchen and opened the container.
Cranachan. Ghost had heard of it. The King of Scottish Desserts.
He grabbed a spoon and brought a bite to his mouth slowly. There was a thick cream with oats and raspberries. When he put a bite in his mouth, he could taste the honey and whiskey.
It was so good.
Ghost dug in on his couch. He was pretty sure this was supposed to be something he'd eat off for a few days, but he devoured all of it in one sitting. There was more of the raspberries sauce and Ghost found himself licking it from his fingers. A warmth settled in his chest from it.
Maybe Soap wasn't terrible.
Ghost got ready to start his routine of checking all of the windows and doors, but his couch suddenly felt so comfy. He felt his eyes start to close, the warmth spreading more.
For the first time since being a kid, Ghost slept all the way through the night with no nightmares.
Ghost cleaned up from the night before, feeling comfy. He noticed one of his windows was unlocked and chided himself for being so forgetful. After two sweeps of the house, he was sure no one was in his house and nothing was missing.
The dishes sat on the counter, suddenly suspicious. The idea of there being something in it was preposterous.
Ghost cleaned the dishes. "He's a fucking poster boy for good. You're being paranoid."
As time went on, he noticed things. Always on his porch or right outside. Tapping or animal noises or sometimes visions of someone right outside. The wonderful night of sleep was the last time he slept for a while.
Soap showed up again. A cross necklace Ghost couldn't remember seeing was around his neck. He looked apologetic as he had more of the delicious treat. "Sorry. It's raspberry season so everyone is making it and... well... I don't really have much of a sweet tooth."
Ghost looked at him coldly. "And you're bringing it to me? No orphans to give it to? Children to target?"
It was the first time Soap had looked upset at him. Ghost was a military man. He dealt with that constantly back in his troop. But for some reason, Soap's unhappiness got under his skin.
"No, Ghost. I just... thought you might be feeling lonely. Ya probably think I'm naive. Small town guy, always trying to talk to you..." He looked embarrassed. "Never met someone from Manchester. And before you ask, I figured it out by your accent."
Ghost looked at him for a few minutes before looking away to pretend he wasn't affected by him. "I don't."
"Gotcha... I can just... take the food."
"No. I'll still take that." Ghost quickly grabbed the home made food, noticing Soap's flash of a smile. He bit his lip as he cradled the food. "Look, I'm not a good guy. Definitely not someone you need around you."
Soap looked at him sadly. "Even outside of my faith, I still think all people deserve someone. I just... want to try to make you feel less lonely."
Ghost sighed. "Alright. Come in."
Soap got so excited. He carefully walked inside and glanced around, moving his weight back and forth between each foot.
Ghost sat on the chair he had. "Haven't exactly bought much furniture. But you're allowed to get comfy."
Soap grabbed the couch and smiled brightly. There was something about him. He looked at him and his eyes... had a shimmer to it.
Ghost paused, holding the bowl.
"Are you going to put it away? Or eat it right now?" Soap asked conversationally. He batted his eyelashes.
Ghost gnawed on the inside of his cheek. "Gonna put it away for now."
"I see. Have you been sleeping well? This place seems... so isolated. I don't think I could ever quite get a good sleep."
Ghost couldn't think of a good answer besides the truth. "Sleep has never came easy to me."
Soap frowned, batting his eyelashes at him. "I'm sorry. I hope it gets easier for you." He seemed so genuine. So sweet.
Ghost shrugged. "Thank you..."
They started to slip into rather easy banter, but he found his eyes getting heavier.
Soap got up and picked his way over. For a moment, Ghost was afraid. He almost lashed out, afraid. But he didn't touch him. He leaned in, eyes glowing against the backdrop of everything around them. "Sleep well, Ghost."
Ghost fell asleep on his chair. Soap locked the door on the way out but he didn't lock the windows.
Ghost found Tommy's photo album and went through them. He looked at the various photos of him and his family and he found himself missing them again. They looked so cute. So perfect. He left them on his coffee table, messy and covering every inch.
Joseph looked up at him, bright smiling face.
Simon was holding him. Blond curls that he spent too much time keeping bleached. No scarring.
He felt like he was going crazy as things... moved around his house. Things moved right out of the corner of his eyes. So he started preparing.
Guns were tucked into every hiding place he could. Knives even more so. He started to work out again for the first time in a few weeks. Luckily he hadn't lost too much of his physique.
Ghost eventually found himself eating the cranachan. He slept well. It was unsettling.
Right before dawn, Soap arrived at his house. The clouds were churning together but there was still some sunlight streaming through. "I brought coffee. Are you a coffee person?"
Ghost wasn't usually, but rather than deal with Soap's sad look again, he took the drink. He sipped it and found himself pleasantly surprised at how good it was.
Soap smiled. "Have any plans?"
"Gonna make breakfast... wanna join?" Why did he say that??
Soap smiled and quickly walked in. "I'd love to."
Ghost started to cook. He had been trying to learn more cooking lately so hopefully it wasn't too bad.
Soap looked thankful when he set it down and started to eat. They did so in basically silence. The cross necklace kept catching the light so he kept staring at it. When he lifted his gaze to look at his eyes, they made direct eye contact.
Soap's eyes. They were so dark. Like a shark.
Ghost felt for the gun under his side table. He tried to keep up conversation.
"Don't grab that gun, Simon."
Ghost paused what he was doing, watching the cross necklace sway where it sat. "What?"
Soap sighed. "Don't be like that. The gun your hand is on. Don't grab it." His nails clicked against the table. Too long. Too alarming. "Be a good boy, Simon."
Ghost stared at him, debating what could be done here.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
"What are you?"
"Not a danger to you." Soap answers a little pedantically. "I promise." His canines. They were long and curved.
Ghost glanced at the coffee. "You were drugging me."
Soap hummed. "No. More of a... side effect of my presence. You feeling anything right now?"
Ghost could feel something tugging at the edge of his consciousness but nothing too severe. "What do you want?"
Soap swallowed. "I'm hungry. Starving."
"You saw me up here. Being vulnerable. And decided you could fuc-"
"No. Not quite. I... I know you could keep a secret."
Ghost blinked, realizing the situation. "You're... asking."
Soap looked pained. "I am. A... deal. I keep everyone away. Tell them whatever I need so they leave you alone and I get to..." His eyes trailed to Ghost's throat.
"How bad is the feeding?"
"Not bad! I take about as much blood as a blood donation. Easy peasy. I'll even bring you food for recovery just please..."
Ghost undid the top button of his shirt and Soap looked ready to wiggle out of his seat. The poor man was salivating.
Why was he doing this?
it was stupid.
Idiotic.
Self-sacrificing.
The mask hit the table.
"Go for it."
Soap leapt over the table and sat in his lap. Teeth sank into his throat as he held him, holding him tight. They pressed together and Ghost could feel the unsettling chill that came from Soap.
He grabbed the table, almost white knuckling it.
Pain radiated from where he was being stabbed into and he felt himself go lightheaded. Soap's ass was pressed firmly to his lap though and it felt...
pleasurable.
Slowly he sank into it, feeling Soap take his fill.
His pretty boy thanked him, lips bright red from blood. "Thank you. Thank you. You're perfect. My angel from heaven."
Their lips touched and Ghost groaned softly.
Soap panted in his ear. "I'll be good. Promise. Take care of you." His claws sank into Ghost who was wondering how bad the situation he landed himself was.
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#call of duty modern warfare ii#cod mw2#ghostsoap#cod#soapghost#ghoap
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an unexpected contestant : model au | bllk
incl. isagi, nagi, reo, barou, chigiri, bachira, sae, niko
warnings. fem reader
an's. dedicate to @chxxrybxxmb my idea plug ᡣ𐭩
❝ YN ! ❞ your manager called to you desperately, peeking her head into the room where you were getting your makeup done. She looked frantic and stressed as ever.
❝ Yes? What's wrong? ❞
She shook her head dispointedly. ❝ It's the boys again, it looks tense in here...❞
Oh lord...
You rolled your eyes and moved from your vanity seat. Your makeup was basically finished anyway and you already had your outfit on, so you carefully made your way outside the room too where the rest of the boys were staying.
❝ What's going on? ❞ you asked politely surveying the scene. It was Isagi ( and the others ) standing as far away from each other as possible looking like they were going to snap each others necks off.
Oh jeez I hope this isn't about...
❝ Oh finally thank GOD your here, now you can just decide for yourself ❞ Bachira sighed, pulling your over too the center of the shoot, beady eyes pleading.
❝ Decide what... ❞ you pondered allowed as the group of boys shared a silent look across the room.
Finally someone spoke up, it was Barou ❝ We want too know who your doing the BAZAAR set with ❞ he asked, looking just as hopeful as Bachira did.
You poped your hip too the sides and groaned, rolling around your tense body.
Of course it's about the BAZAAR set, why wouldn't it be about the BAZAAR set!
The room stayed silent as your loosed your body and you glanced back up too see everyone still standing there waiting for an answer, although your not sure what they wanted you too say considering the set was a whole month away—practically a lifetime too you.
The set was not only the most revealing set you would do this year but it was also going to be the most influential. Which is probably why they wanted to be your partner so bad, it would bring in alot of revenue for the company and give them a boost in their career. Your managers thought it would be the easiest task—just leave it up too the modle themselves, have her pick out a person from a group and be done. But of course you were careful with your decisions and just saying put a name so easily wasn't your thing and in fear of hurting anyones feelings you planned too keep it private.
Looks like thats not an option anymore...
The boys continued to stare at you. ❝ What are y'all looking at? I told you I still haven't made a decision, now scram your inturupting me and Bachira's shoot. ❞ Bachira grinned like a maniac and swooped a hand around your waist while the other boys groaned.
❝ See I told you she wouldn't spil. YN's like an EVVA lock, can't pick her at all! ❞ Isagi said crossing his arms and leaning on the chair.
❝ Doesn't really matter since she'll probably pick me anyways ❞ Nagi yawned, pocketing his phone to observe you and Bachira's position. You ignored him but his statement sadly didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the males.
❝ Unlikely, YN and I have already done the most duo sets together this year, us on BAZAAR would a complete set ❞ Sae said, his arms crossed in defiance to what Nagi said.
❝ You failed to mention a full duo set has too have 12 magazines and not 11 Sae. You only have 10 as of right now. ❞ Reo chimed in, looks like he wasn't backing down either—much too your demise.
Angry filled looks were still spread across the room and the photographers were getting annoyed at their noise. It was time too end this thing.
❝ Alright! Alright That's enough, I'll have made a decision by tomorrow okay? So just leave..your distracting us ❞
The boys seemed pleased with your answer and began filling out of the room one by one. Finally some peace and quiet.
❝ You know I love you the most YN...and i'd love too see you all dolled up for the BAZAAR set❞
❝ Meguru, dont. ❞
❝ Was worth a shot. ❞
1 month later
❝ YN come onnn, you said you'd tell us who you were gonna pick aggeesss ago! Ages ! And you still haven't What's the hold up? ❞ Bachira groaned as you were now in a room with the rest of the members all of them again waiting for a response.
❝ I wasn't even aware of this to be quite honest with you ❞ Chigiri said, folding his hands together. ❝ Guess theres alot of things that happened while I was away ❞
You sighed, ❝ I guess I can't put it off much longer can I...❞ The boys looked hopeful at that, and was now sitting on the edge of their seats. In the month that had past they all had gone great lenghts to please you, buttering your up with presents and sweetwords trying their best too get on your good side. But that wasn't really what you wanted.
❝ I choose... ❞ They all were holding their breath now. ❝ Niko ❞ You turned too the black haired boy and even under his bangs could see his surprise as well as his relief.
❝ Me..? ❞ He asked softly, almost not believing it.
❝ HIM !? ❞ Reo jumped out of his chair, pointing at the male in betrayal.
❝ What's the big deal? Niko's a great model plus he has the least amount of covers done here, BAZAAR will help him out ❞
❝ B-But I-I bought you a car, a porche ! ❞ he looked appalled at your decision and so did the rest of the boys there.
❝ On whose accord? ❞
He couldn't respond, he was left there gaping and confused.
❝ Niko but he's...he's a rookie? ❞ Isagi questioned. ❝ And I mean come on...a porche YN and porche ❞
❝ Uhn Uhn yall aren't gonna put this on me. Thoes things were from you. I didn't ask for shit. And anyways you wanted to know, now you know stop bothering me about it ❞
❝ Ugh that is so not fair ❞
❝ Meguru, seriously, dont ❞
an's. i only included everyone I thought could be a model fr 🙏 no ayru cuz idk how to write for him lol
#fanfiction#blue lock#anime#skullgirl#bllk headcanons#bllk#bllk fluff#bllk imagines#bllk x reader#bllk x you#baroushoueiheadcannons#isagi fluff#bllk bachira#bachira x reader#mikage reo#reo x reader#chigiri fluff#bllk niko#fluffy sae#nagi x y/n#blue lock x reader#blue lock bachira#blue lock barou#model au
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AOT veterans men and random things/kinks they do during sex
Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith and Miche Zacharias x fem!reader (NSFW 18+, minors dni)
Levi
Marking, Levi bites on any skin that he puts his lips on. He likes having you in missionary not only because he can see the pleasure he brings you and kiss you but because he gets a chance to color your neck in dark purple marks that will stain your skin for days. He won't spare your thighs, stomach and hips either. "Mmm look at that, are you going to cover up these? Or let the whole world see how much you love being marked by me."
Spanking, especially in doggystyle, Levi's hand comes down harshly against your skin leaving red prints behind as he fucks you roughly. He also loves spanking your thighs while eating you out. As soon as your thighs try to close around his head, he lands a harsh slap on your skin. "Be a good girl, keep those pretty fucking legs spread."
Overstimulation, Levi likes the thought of being the only thing in your brain and he won't stop until he hears you say it. You have cum countless times around his cock, his tongue,but Levi wasn't yet satisfied. His fingers work on you at a ruthless pace, your thighs shake, and filthy moans leave your swollen lips. "Gonna cum again for me yeah? Gonna show me how much you love it when your Captain makes you cum yeah? Scream my fucking name."
Choking, Levi enjoys choking you during sex, any position where he can grab your neck is good for him. His rough thrusts make you roll your eyes back, whimpers leaving your lips. "Why the useless stupid sounds baby? I already know that you love getting fucked like a whore."
Degradation, Levi can be very mean at times especially if he thinks that you deserved it, he usually praises you, so you learned to take it as punishment if he gets rude with words. His cock pounds into your mercilessly, almost making you scream. "You're nothing but a slut aren't you? A slut for my cock, I can be the worst man on earth and you would still let me fuck you into oblivion."
Erwin
Cockwarming, Erwin loves having you ride him while he is busy with work and he also loves halting all of your movements and having your warm walls wrapped around his cock. No matter how much you beg for him to move, he doesn't. "Don't get ahead of yourself dear, I'm the one in control, and if you keep complaining It'll be like this for the rest of the night."
Belly bulge, his blue eyes land on the little bulge that appears when he pushes his thick cock deep inside of you. He can't help but put his hand against it, pressing down on it, watching you lose your mind beneath him. "Look at how deep inside of you I am darling, look."
Authority kink, Erwin gets extra into it if you call him Commander. He enjoys the fact that he has this power over you on and off the bed. As soon as you call him by his name, he stops moving taking your jaw and making you look at him. "That's not my name is it? Already forgot who I am I see, let's change that."
Creampie, he has absolutely zero shame about it, the sight of your legs shaking as his cum drips out of you will always be his favorite. Erwin cums deep inside of you and sometimes even hopes that your belly will be growing with his child. "Gonna breed you sweetheart, wanna make me a daddy? You'll look so pretty with my children inside of your belly dear."
Blindfold sex, again Erwin loves control and there is nothing better than seeing you with your eyes covered as he has his way with you, slapping your dripping cunt before diving his head between your thighs. "You want to see me? Too bad, I'll have you shaking and crying once I'm done with you my sweet."
Miche
Nipple play, his big hands love teasing and playing with your nipples. Miche will always take his time when his mouth is on your nipple, swirling his tongue around your buds and sucking them gently. "I haven't even touched you where you need me most and you're already cumming? Naughty girl."
Size kink, Miche is a big guy and he enjoys manhandling you like no one else. He picks you up so effortlessly and slams you down on his cock, your body looks small to his in comparison. "My word how easy you are to break, look at how wet you are."
Praise, as much as he loves being rough with you, Miche is a gentle giant. He would kiss your face in little pecks and whisper in your ear. "You're taking me so well, love. Such a good girl for me. I'll give so much more if you want."
Gagging, he has his hand tangled in your hair as you struggle to take him in your mouth, don't worry he knows what to do. He presses you further down onto his cock and you gag slightly, drool dripping down the side of your lips onto him. "You love it don't you? When I choke you on my cock like that, good girl."
Bondage, a piece of advice, don't piss him off or else you're in for a ride. Miche has you tied to his headboard as he ever so slowly makes his way between your thighs. "Have I not told you to behave? If you moan once, I'll put a gag in your mouth understand? Let's see if my pretty girl can handle it."
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Taglist: @youre-ackermine @the-milk-anon @sixpennydame @notgoodforlife @levisbrat25 @levisgreyeyes @luvjiro @lovolee3 @ackermendick @laraackerman
#levi#levi ackerman#levi x reader#aot levi#captain levi#attack on titan#levi attack on titan#levi x you#levi smut#aot x y/n#aot x reader#aot smut#erwin smith x you#erwin x reader#erwin smut#snk erwin#snk levi#miche zacharias#Snk miche#Miche x reader#Miche smut#mike zacharias#aot miche#erwin smith#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x y/n smut#levi ackerman smut#levi ackerman x reader#erwin smith x reader#aot headcanons
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Watching my little (half) joke post after Part 43 spark some discussion has made me think a lot over this for the past couple days, and I think I've pinpointed my main frustration with the women of Malevolent overall.
Simply put: the women of Malevolent do not get to have a voice.
Yes, literally they aren't voice-acted by Harlan. But I don't really want to get into that side of the topic here. I'm saying figuratively women do not have their own voice in this show.
Who is Bella outside of her relationships to Arthur or Daniel? Did she like music too, was she sarcastic or sincere, what was her biggest goal in life? Who is Faroe outside of how she makes Arthur feel? Who are Anna and Amanda outside of their connections to the King in Yellow? And I don't mean just a quick sentence-long description about them, I mean a genuine in-depth answer to "Who are they?"
Secondary characters that are men/male-aligned (Noel, Oscar, Collins, etc) have a strong sense of individual personality and motivations, enough that you could get a decent amount of discussion/analysis about them if you wanted. You can't get that kind of character discussion for the women if you tried because the show simply does not provide it for you, no matter how integral to the plot their characters (or concept of a character) may be. Heck, Shub set up the plot of this whole show and yet she's so nothing of a character that she's practically just a name to throw around when it sounds cool.
Almost everything we know about the women comes from men's perspectives, either through their side of relationships or through quick mentions of the women without any real substance to who those women really were. Other people have suggested the idea of finding a journal or a few more letters from Amanda to give her character more time/attention-- something similar could be done with any of the other women too, anything that lets their personalities/unique motivations be directly shown instead of vaguely mentioned or hinted at by men.
(I'll admit that I do think Marie is written more along the lines of secondary characters like Oscar, and I'm pretty happy with her character! But the fact that she's the only woman I can think of to break that pattern is... not great)
And yes I know that there are men in this show that also do not get to have their own voice (Roland, Parker, Henry, etc.) That's expected! All stories have characters that act as collateral or tools to move the plot/main characters forward. But when every single female character serves as a plot device with no strong sense of unique self, while only some of the male characters get that same treatment and the rest get plenty of personality and individuality-- that's when it becomes a problem.
The women of Malevolent get names (or, some of them do), they get roles and influence within the plot, and a few of them get small glimpses of what could be a personality if you look for it. But the women of Malevolent do not get a voice. We can see the vague shape of them on the edges of the show, but we never get the chance to hear them. And they never get the chance to speak themselves, to be heard.
I love Malevolent-- really, truly love this show. Which is why it's only so much more frustrating for me when it overall struggles to give its female characters the same respect as its male characters. Again, I'm not talking about the voice-acting, and I completely skipped the expanded cast of female characters (the wraith, the widow, the witch, etc.) and my concerns with what kinds of women are represented in the show and how they're presented. This post is really just me trying to express a genuine frustration that I (and at least a few other people) have with the writing of this show, and try to explain why those frustrations exist.
I promise this is NOT meant to be an attack on anyone and I'm not trying to deny other perspectives on this topic. This is also NOT an attack on Harlan or the podcast as a whole. I'm just trying to share some thoughts here.
#sorry for rambling but i have a lot of feelings about this#also every should start playing nice over this topic pls#nuance in media consumption *does* exist#malevolent#malevolent podcast#cherrys rambles
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𝔏𝔬𝔬𝔨 𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔡𝔬𝔦𝔫' 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔧𝔬𝔟
dilf!jake x f!reader
wc: 2.5k words
warnings: 18+ minors DNI (I MEAN IT), pwp, smut (praise kink through the fucking roof, bondage, p in v, fingering, oral - f and m receiving, age gap, dacryphilia, daddy kink, choking, pet names, overstimulation, semi-public sex, spanking, anal play, toy use, slight degradation kink, multiple orgasms, cockwarming), mentions of blood/spit, strong language, this list is endless wtf
a/n: once more it is clear that i ain't seeing the pearly white gates of heaven anytime soon, but outside of that, i dedicate this fic to lys' coochie
also pls do yourself a favour and listen to russ - nasty while u read this ok enjoy xo
I know everyone wants a pretty girl like you You look so good when you put me inside you Listen, there ain't nothin' like that moan when the tip's in Good God, look at you, you're doin' such a good job
"you're gonna be a good girl for daddy, right?"
you have to admit to yourself that when you started being trained under the tutelage of the toruk makto, the mighty olo'eyktan of the omaticaya, this isn't at all how you envisioned it going - but at this exact moment, limbs spread widely and tied up to the pillars of his tent, a blindfold covering your eyes and heightening all your other senses, his raspy, soft voice filling your ears while his hands are massaging the plush skin of your inner thighs, you can't find it in you to care.
"i need words, baby girl."
"y-yes, daddy. i'll be g-good, i promise."
"that's my girl."
"you look so good like this, kid. so, so good."
his hands trail gently over your body in barely-there touches, that set every inch of your body on fire, alight with anticipation and ache, desperate for more, needy for the pleasure you knew he was going to provide. it doesn't matter how many times you've found yourself like this, sprawled naked in his tent, contorted in whatever position he deemed appropriate at any one time, it would always be as intense as the first time - he wouldn't have it any other way.
when he reaches your breasts, his hand stalls, capturing a nub in between his thumb and index, no longer just a fluttering whisper of a caress but a pressured twisted unwieldy grip that makes a moan escape your parted lips and you hear his low chuckle, the most beautiful sound you've ever heard, second only to the uninhibited groan that he he can't help but exhale whenever you milk his cock dry.
"you have the prettiest tits i've ever seen, baby. perfect, just like the rest of you."
you feel the tingling in your extremities from the way the ropes tug at your wrists and ankles, but it's nothing compared to the throbbing in your core as his hand finds your throat and squeezes, as you feel the air getting knocked out of you, as the darkness no longer just envelopes your sight but the whole of you, as his cock, hard and unclothed, teases your entrance with a uncontrolled twitch, and the feel of it makes you squirm, pulling on your restraints in order to bring your legs together, to no avail.
Jake lets go of your neck with a dissatisfied tsk. You gasp when his canines sink into your lower lips and bite until it hurts and you feel the rusty taste of blood inundating your mouth. His tongue swipes the excess fluid before he kisses you, roughly and carelessly and you love it, love the feel of his mouth on yours, of his hands on your throat, love nothing more than being just daddy's little girl.
"if you want to get fucked tonight, kid, you have to be good, remember?"
"but d-daddy... i need you... i need to s-see you, i n-need your...cock, please, daddy!"
you couldn't help the way your voice was breaking and words stuttered as his unrelenting teasing made the throbbing sensations and ache to be filled reach torturous heights, or the way tears pricked painfully at your eyes as you couldn't stand not seeing him, not being able to tell what he'll do next, not being able to move your thighs to ease some of the discomfort.
"shh, princess... you have to trust daddy, mm? you know daddy will take care of his little girl."
you're sure the mewl you let out as he slips two fingers in your dripping cunt would be heard in the whole village and you knew he loved it - he loved when you screamed, and yelled, loved when you had to walk through the forest marked and bruised for everyone to see, loved when his cum was dripping down your thighs and how your scent was forever permeated by his own, so nobody could ever question who you belonged to.
his fingers were skilled and deliberate as they moved inside of you, curling on a spongy part that made you shut your eyes tightly and allow the tears to finally fall down your contorted face, his thumb drawing shapes on your clit, that was now red and swollen, desperate for more pressure.
"more, daddy, i need more!" the sobs stir something inside Jake, balls heavy and itching to spill their load inside you, but not yet. you weren't ready yet.
"why're you crying, kid? you need to be stuffed with daddy's cock so badly?"
asking questions he already knew the answers to seemed pointless and unnecessary, but he needed to hear you say it, or moan it, or mumble it - needed to see you, crying and helpless, just a little doll who needs someone to show you what you deserve, what you can take. you'd be wasted on a scrub your own age, who would never know how to handle you, who would never know what to do with you. you needed a man, and he was more than happy to fill that role for you, and... anything else that needed it.
the reality is better than any fantasy his mind could have concocted as you nod aggressively, breasts bouncing as you pull once more on the harness that's starting to hurt your wrists just enough that to walk the line between pleasure and pain.
"soon, baby. you're not ready for it yet. need to stretch this little pussy before you can take me, you know this."
his pace increases as his long digits slip in and out of you, as his lips find your clit and suck on it, as his tongue laps at the juices that you couldn't help coat his face and fingers with, and you feel every ounce of power and self slip away from your grasp, slowly but surely becoming just a tangled mess of feeling, chaotic and overpowering, no thoughts outside of how much you wanted this, how much you needed him, how much this man had a tight hold on every facet of your being and you happily gave it up, knowing there's no better feeling then being wholly owned.
"that's it, come for daddy."
it pushes you over the edge, the purr of his voice and the vibrations they release on your folds, and you come, loudly and uninhibitedly, shaking as your orgasm washes over you in intense waves of pleasure that go on and on, as his tongue and fingers stretch you, until you're so overstimulated you find your tears once more, your screams dwindling into whines you couldn't help release.
"i know, princess. doing so well for me. doing so well for daddy."
"open your mouth."
as always, when it came to jake sully, you obeyed without question. his fingers find their way down your throat and you immediately close your lips around them, swirling your tongue around and in between them, sucking them dry the way you would his cock, that you couldn't wait choke on later tonight. you loved the taste of your own cum on him, and so you cleaned his fingers thoroughly before he pulled them out and wrapped them around the blindfold that was covering your eyes.
"such a good girl. now i want you to watch as daddy fills you with his cock."
it felt sometimes you spent more times like this than not, overwhelmingly full, shaking in earth-shattering pleasure, this time on all fours, this time with a human contraption you have never imagined would ever exist, but not only it did, it was stuffed in you to the brim, sending waves of vibrations throughout your entire body, while jake watched intently, circling you so he can see you come undone from every angle.
"you like that, huh? 'course you do, kid. my baby's just a little slut, just wants her holes filled, don't you?"
you couldn't find it in you to answer, not when the little machine shook you to the core, not when you couldn't decide what was taking precedence in your mind: the sensations that were so powerful they were making patches appear in your vision, the sight of Jake's hands tightly wrapped around his cock, pumping himself vigorously while he watched you fall apart in front of him, or the worries that someone will definitely see and hear you, be it as you were, just barely covered by shrubbery, in a place that Na'vi frequented way too often - almost in view, just how he liked it.
"answer me, princess."
you nod quietly, trying to stifle the moans as his palm makes contact with the plush of your ass, the slap loud enough to attract attention if anybody were to be close, and your orgasm comes sharply into focus, so close you can taste it, and you knew that when it came, it would be enough to bring you to your knees, something he seems to have accounted for. when he increases the intensity with the little remote he had in between his fingers, you lower yourself until your face makes contact with your extended arm. before you know it, you bite down on the skin as hard as you can, canines drawing blood at the way you were trying to be quiet - anything to minimise the chance of being caught. it all becomes too much to handle when he spreads your ass and spits on it, lubricating you enough to push two fingers in your tight hole, and you cry out a muffled cry when you come, convulsing as you ride out your high, as you squirt all over the vibrator, gushes of liquid dripping down your thighs.
he pulls out of you and circles you once more, until he's facing you, and you can barely see straight, crying from being overstimulated, unable to distinguish pain from pleasure, as the toy still moves inside of your abused cunt, unrelenting and too intense.
his hand wraps around your hair, tugging on it til the bite marks were all that was left of your mouth on your forearm, and you look at him through your eyelashes, trying not to get distracted by how his cock was slapping on your cheek.
"sweet girl, if you want something to keep you from making sounds, i have something so much better than an arm. now, be a good girl and let daddy fuck this pretty mouth, how's that sound?"
you smile a sheepish smile, cunt clenching around the vibrator once more, as jake strokes his thick cock, the sweet precum falling over your lips and chin, and you don't waste a drop, swiping your tongue over your lower lip to catch all of it, moaning at the taste.
"open y'r mouth for me, kid."
jake is gentle as he slowly enters you, letting you adjust to his thick girth that presses on the roof of your mouth, your tongue flat against the underside of his length, loving the feel of every vein and memorising every curve and indentation as he slides further in, gagging as his tip tickles the back of your throat. saliva coats his cock and spills down his balls, and you want to protest slightly, when it feels like you can't breathe anymore, when the tears push past your glossy eyes and down your cheeks, until his words remind you who's in charge, and that, while he is, obeying means pleasure beyond your wildest dreams.
"relax, baby girl." his thumb traces your under eye, gathering the salty drops before they can stain your perfect face. "relax for daddy. breathe through your nose. there you go, princess. just like that."
you mewl, able to fit even more of him in you, and the sound reverberates through his length and you watch as he pushes his head back, a thin layer of sweat barely visible on his beautiful face, scarred from years of fights and battle, some of which happened when you were just a baby, an ever-present reminder of the differences between you, that you not only didn't mind, but were what drew you to him in the first place. jake is strong, and capable. he is mighty and revered. he knows you, knows what you want, what you need. he knows your mind needs quieting, and to be devoid of thoughts and worries, and while you were in his presence, he was more than happy to empty that pretty little head of yours and fill your body with his cum instead.
"f-fuck, that's right. good girl. taking daddy's cock so well, mm? my best girl."
his hand finds the top of your head as he pets you, soft caresses enough to spur you on, and you suck on his length enthusiastically, focusing on the tip whenever he pulls out before thrusting himself back in, using your mouth like a toy to get himself off. the groans he makes are low and unrestrained and it sends bouts of electricity throughout your whole body. you did this to him. you were bringing this great man to the edge of his self-control, and that thought alone was enough to heighten all the sensations given by the machine still vibrating in your soaked cunt and his cock stuffed down your throat, and when you come again, he does, too, and you make sure to swallow everything he gives you, watching as he pulls out, still stroking himself so some of his warm, sticky cum paints your face, just the way he likes it.
"you look so pretty like this, kid. red eyes, rosy cheeks, swollen lips, face covered in my cum. perfect for me, aren't you? daddy's little slut."
nights, when jake slips into your tent after everyone's asleep, are filled with slower, gentler, quiet times, where his big body cages you in, his arms draped across your sides, his large hands caressing your breasts and abdomen, and you feel safe in him, in his comforting presence and his sensual, praising words. you go to sleep with his cock deep in you, the way you wish to spend every minute of your every day. you can't help the way you stir in your sleep, desire building up in you from the feel of his length dragging along your walls as you move, from how his breath fans across the nape of your neck, sending tingles down your spine. you let out a soft mewl as you start grinding on him, unsure whether you want him to wake up or not, unable to come to a decision before his hoarse voice startles you.
"you're gonna kill an old man like me, kid. fucked you dumb 'til you passed out and you still need more?"
his fingers dig into your hips, pushing you back on his length until he bottoms out in you, and you yelp, the sensation overwhelming.
"go ahead, then. daddy wants to see you fuck yourself on his cock."
you smile and oblige. no matter how life would ever change for you, you knew you'd be alright, because he would always be here to take care of you and you'd always be daddy's little girl.
happy daddy jake's day and i hope you enjoyed my little present, besties 🫶🏻
taglist: @headsincloud9 @teyamsbitch @lanasblood @yagirlheree @fanboyluvr @jakexneytiri (you didn't ask to be tagged dani bb but this is for torturing me yesterday)
#break my back like a glowstick daddy#jake sully#jake sully smut#jake sully fic#dilf jake sully#avatar smut#avatar twow#avatar#avatar fanfic#jake x reader#jake smut#jake sully x reader#jake sully x yn#jake sully reader#avatar reader#avatar fanfiction#avatar jake#jake sully x y/n#jake sully drabble#avatar way of water#avatar the way of water#step dad jake sully#stepdad!jake sully#dbf!jake sully#dbf!jake#◘ andra's oneshots/drabbles#༊*·˚ andra's works
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I wonder if you have any headcanons or dribbles of Ultron with a pregnant reader?
👀 the way I'd be pregnant for this man (I'm terrified of pregnancy and childbirth)
Warning: mentions of pregnancy (?) Child labor
He is the absolute best at everything.....i mean,it's Ultron
He makes sure he does research in every single area for pregnancy; he needs to make sure he stays informed with everything
Handles you gently and carefully; he is at your side whenever you need him
Either will be understanding of your pregnancy cravings and bring them to you, OR makes a healthier alternative option for you. No in-between
"I want chocolate...."
"Chocolate isn't good for you or the baby"
"I want chocolate."
"Okay, I'll get you chocolate" He gets everything in chocolate; chocolate ice cream, chocolate milkshake, chocolate anything for the entire day until you want another craving
Makes sure all the sharp edges in the house/apartment are child proofed, he doesn't want you bumping into them and getting into an accident
Carries you around with no complaint or struggles; heck, you wouldn't even need to get out of bed with him around
Will be putting on Mozart or Beethoven for the fetus to listen to
"It's good for them, they'll be smart like you."
You don't have to worry about any chores: the house? Clean within a blink and no traces of dust. The garbage? Taken care of, you don't even need to ask
Makes sure you're okay and comfortable; whenever you express hints of pain, he'll definitely panic and get into doctor-mode
"I have some great names picked out, if you haven't thought of any yet."
"Babe, I'm only on my second term."
"Can't be too prepared."
Cute dates with him like movie nights but the couch is just as comfortable as a bed; he has soft blankets and pillow all around
When it comes to later in the pregnancy, he's super anxious; he makes double the portion size that he would usually make
Will accompany you to the bathroom in the middle of the night, it doesn't matter, he will start fussing if you don't wake him up
"I don't want to bother you...."
"Nonsense. Bother me, your safety is not a hindrance for me. My system shut down is more insignificant"
"Babe, please."
Obviously he won't go inside and respects your privacy, but he will stand outside the door just in case
If you have work and your boss is being an incompetent fool, I know for sure that Ultron would fight with him via email
Ultron would grumble, ".....pathetic, what kind of nincompoop wouldn't give maternity leave? I hope his business burns and he goes bankrupt....."
You'd snicker at his use of vocabulary
And then the time arrives,
"....Ultron....."
"Hm?"
"I think it's happening....."
Immediate panic; he obviously handles everything, he calls his sentries and all that is needed to start the procedure
He doesn't really trust human doctors, plus he wants to be there next to you for the moment. He would be the most attentive doctor/medical personnel - the procedure and labor would be a major success!
He would also treat you to whatever you wanted after. To him, the first priority is your well-being after something so energy inducing/exhausting, then the attention would go to the baby (of course, he would place the baby in your arms before giving you attention you need)
He would definitely take care of the child so you could get the rest you need and deserve
At first, he would be too terrified to handle the baby....even if he knows how and the proper care for it - he's terrified of the idea of rejection from the baby, he doesn't want it to be afraid of him
However, the baby did not care at all. It babbled incoherently and reached out for Ultron, placing its tiny hands on his cheek to feel the coolness of the metal
"......this baby, I would kill for it." Ultron smiled. I only had them for a day and a half, but if anything happened, I would kill everyone and then myself type
He's good with kids, to an extent
#ultron#ultron x reader#x reader#marvel#ultron/reader#marvel ultron#mcu ultron#mcu#headcanon#marvel headcanons#ultron headcanons#pregnancy trope#avengers age of ultron#ultron is hot
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Hi bonny ninny, ruu here
I like your 'Why not' & 'How so' series.
I feel like oc is tone sensitive. Would you write a drabble where Jungkook uses a tone which hurts & upsets oc. Like they are not even arguing but something about tobe hurts her. How would Jungkook consoles her? They would be so cute in this DDLG theme. 🥺
"At this rate I'm gonna have to sleep back at my place again." Jungkook laughs, as he watches you make your bed, adjusting all the different stuffed animals.
You're not sure what exactly he means by that. Or more so, how serious he is.
You don't want him to sleep back at his place and leave you alone- you've become too attached and fond of his late night cuddling and the way he warms up the bed beneath the blankets, but you also love your stuffed animals too much to give them away, or let them simply sit on a shelf. Is he making you choose?
Do you want to choose?
The entire rest of the early day, you can't stop overanalyzing his words, no matter what. You're suddenly hyper-sensitive to the way he says stuff, the tone of his voice, the words he uses, or his body language accompanying every sentence. Is he really that annoyed by you and your habits? But you thought he liked you the way you really are?
"Let me do that for you." He says as you stir in the pot preparing some warm food for the two of you, hand taking the spoon from you. "Can't have you making a mess again like last time." He chuckles, but something in the way he shakes his head just.. makes you feel oddly guilty.
You're not that good at keeping up attention to one thing only for long. You're not sure why- it's not even that you can't cook, you just start doing ten things at once, and just like last time, a few days prior, things boil over and spill, or stuff almost burns in the pan or the oven almost stays on for too long. You can't help it.
Maybe he's starting to have second thoughts. Just like you feared.
"M' sorry." You mumble when he places the filled up bowl in front of you, hand stuttering a bit as he frowns.
"What're you sorry for?" He wonders, sitting down across from you, watching how you only reluctantly pick up your spoon to swirl it around in your bowl, watching the ingredients dance around in the broth. "Eyes up here, baby." He requests, and you do so- though only for a second.
"I'll.. try and put the plushies away." You explain, looking down again. "And I'll concentrate better when cooking too. And I'll start making sure I'll keep track of my own stuff and-" You rant, but he reaches out to hold your hand, stopping you.
"What's brought that up?" He wonders, confused. "You don't have to get rid of stuff, and neither do you need to do better at anything." He offers.
"But I'm annoying you." You say, meekly. "You said you won't sleep here anymore with all the stuffies in my bed-"
"Oh fuck, baby, no-" He sighs, laughing a bit to himself. "How long has that been bubbling up inside you?" He asks, and you shrug. "I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was upset at you. I was just picking on you a little- I didn't mean to make you feel like you did something wrong." He reassures.
"But you're right?" You answer, and he shakes his head again.
"Am I?" He chuckles. "You love your stuffed animals. I know you've got a name for each and every one of them, and that's cute. And they don't bother me at all, since you put them on the carpet every night anyways- it just looks funny with how much space they take up during the day." Jungkook explains. "And I also know that you've got a bit of trouble staying focused, so I'm not mad when you get a bit sidetracked while cooking. If anything, I only worry sometimes, which is why I tend to take over sometimes, to make sure you don't get hurt." He moves on. "I really don't mind keeping your doctors appointments or other stuff in mind. I don't mind doing stuff for you, or taking care of you. I really don't." He presses on. "I love you the way you are. I'd be stupid to try and change you."
"I don't know why I thought you meant something bad." You mumble, and he yet again just smiles.
"It was most likely my tone. Let's make an agreement, alright?" He says, and you nod. "I'll be more clear to tell you when I'm only making fun- and you'll tell me if you think I'm being too mean."
You nod at that, glad that it was only a huge misunderstanding-
happy that you were wrong after all.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagine#bts jungkook imagine#bts jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook imagines#jeon jungkook fanfic
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𝐈 𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐑 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] // 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃
summary: Reaping Day is finally upon you and you know what you have to do, but there's only one problem: Lucy Gray wouldn't let you.
warning/s: again, the usual warnings that come with writing the Hunger Games stuff + potential suicidal themes.
author's note: this is the second and final part - i do hope you all like it. also i hope the person who requested it enjoys!!
one / masterlist / wattpad
Reaping Day was fast approaching, taking place next week, and I still wasn't sure what to do. I hadn't told Lucy Gray nor the Covey of Mayfair's plan, but it was killing me inside. After a lot of thought, I soon made a decision. The only thing I was certain about was that I couldn't allow Lucy Gray to have her life stolen away, not when mine was right there for the taking. So, I was going to take her place. As long as the Capitol had their tribute, they wouldn't care who it was.
But Lucy Gray would. She'd never allow it, never be so selfish as to let someone else volunteer to die for her. But I could never let her go up there to die, so with that in mind, I concocted the perfect plan to keep her alive.
The night before the reaping arrived, I'd managed to convince Lucy Gray to let me sleep over at hers, claiming I was worried and wanted to feel safe on an otherwise horrible evening. Of course, she fell for it instantly, only reminding me of how right I was to do this. She was too sweet for her own good, especially to me.
The rest of the Covey were in their rooms preparing for bed when I returned from the kitchen to Lucy Gray's room with two glasses of water.
"Here," I said, passing her the glass before taking a seat on my makeshift bed on the floor beside her actual bed.
"Thanks," she said, before taking a sip. She pulled a face and looked at her glass. "Does that taste weird to you?"
I sipped my own water and played dumb, shaking my head. "It's alright to me."
She furrowed her brows, "Huh," before downing the rest of it and putting it next to her bed.
I told myself that slipping some of my dad's crushed sleeping pills in her water was for her own good, that it needed to happen to keep her safe, but a small part of me still felt guilty for tricking her like this. I needed her to sleep in though, to miss the reaping, or at least miss the part where they call her name. After all, she couldn't stop me from volunteering if she wasn't there to witness it happen.
We both laid down in our beds, getting comfortable under our duvets. In the quiet of the evening, I could hear Tam Amber snoring from next door and smiled to myself at the familiarity. It would be the last I'd hear of it, ever.
"I don't have a good feelin' about tomorrow," Lucy Gray said quietly, earning my attention.
"Huh?"
She sounded cautious. "Something is tellin' me Mayfair has something' up her sleeve." I widened my eyes slightly, wondering if she knew what I did, but then she let out a deep, tired sigh and said, "I can't wait for it to be over."
I frowned to myself. "Me too."
She yawned, and I knew I didn't have long before she'd fall asleep, which meant I only had so much time left with her before I'd never speak to her again. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes.
"No matter what happens tomorrow, I'm glad you've been my friend, Lucy Gray," I said honestly.
"Shut up," she said lightheartedly, an echo of a laugh present in her tired voice. "You're already sayin' goodbye and nothin' has happened."
"You never know," I said, glad that it was dark so she couldn't see me, because I wasn't sure I could say all this to her face. "Just listen, okay? I need you to know that I love you and I couldn't have asked for a better person in my life. Thank you for always being there for me. For caring."
"I love you, too," she said between a yawn, "more than you know, darlin'. And I'll tell you again tomorrow mornin', when we're still together. Idiot."
A smile formed on my lips at her teasing, but the tears slipped from my eyes because I was going to miss her so much, so much more than she would ever know.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you, too, for bein' here right now," she said, though she was already slipping away, voice slowing down between each word.
"Of course," I said quietly. "Always."
She chuckled, or an attempt at a chuckle in her exhausted state. "I'll hold you to that," she said jokingly, before yawning again. "Mmm super tired. G'night..."
"Goodnight, Lucy Gray."
When I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes the next morning, I looked over at Lucy Gray and saw her fast asleep in bed. I tried to wake her, but she didn't budge, and I prayed that it would stay that away until the reaping was over.
Quickly getting ready, I could hear the others doing the same in the house. And then a succession of knocks was heard on Lucy Gray's door and Barb Azure poked her head in.
"Y/N, Lucy Gray, we've gotta–" she started, but stopped when she saw Lucy Gray still in bed. "For goodness sake, Lucy Gray, we're gonna be late! You've got–"
"I'll get her up and out of here, don't worry," I reassured Barb Azure with a nod and smile. "We'll meet you in the square."
Relieved, she nodded. "Okay, good. Good luck."
I smiled appreciatively before watching her leave, and then my smile faded and I focused on finishing getting ready. After pulling on my shoes and tying up my hair, I looked over at Lucy Gray who was still out like a light, unbothered by the noise or the daylight. She was lying on her side, duvet half covering her, and her curly hair sprawled across her pillow and in her eyes. I leaned down, moving the loose strand behind her ear, before taking in her appearance once more.
"I'm sorry," I whispered to her, not that it would have made a difference. "I love you, Lucy Gray, and I know you're gonna be angry and upset at first, but you'll get over it. You'll get over me. The Covey, they– they need you."
Swallowing hard and holding back my tears, sick of crying, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing up and sucking up a deep breath. Pulling the duvet on her a little more, I forced myself to turn and leave, not wanting to linger any longer.
By the time I reached the square, everyone eligible for the reaping was already lined up in order of age. Just as I was about to join them, Barb Azure, who was nineteen and no longer to be considered, caught my gaze and sent me a questioning look.
'She's there', I mouthed, lying, and pointing to the lined up teens.
She didn't seem to understand, but it didn't matter because a Peacekeeper was already yelling orders at me, and then I was shoved into line and the mayor was telling everybody to quieten down. After his usual spiel about the importance of the Games, no doubt a script given to him from the Capitol, he began to dig his hand into a bag of slips with everyone's names on it. Yanking it out, he barely glanced at it before announcing what I feared.
"The District Twelve girl tribute is Lucy Gray Baird."
Murmurs flew around instantly, everyone looking around to find her, and I thanked my stars that she was safely asleep back home.
"Lucy Gray Baird," the mayor repeated, only intensifying the murmurs and leaving everyone confused. That was my chance.
Raising my hand, I said in the most confident voice I could muster, "I volunteer as tribute!"
Nobody knew what to do, but all eyes were on me, including the stupid cameras the Capitol brought with them, televising the whole thing. The mayor seemed surprised because it was absolute insanity that somebody would volunteer – why would you want to die?
The Peacekeepers took a moment to jump into action, eventually guiding me to the stage as they were supposed to. I passed Billy Taupe on the way, who was looking awfully guilty for someone who was once family to the Covey, and then I passed Mayfair, who was silently raging at the sight of her plans falling to pieces.
Once I stepped onstage and turned around, I caught sight of the Covey scattered in the crowd, between those that were potential tributes and those that were too old/young to take part. They seemed shocked, but I found Barb Azure's eyes and smiled a little, offering a reassuring nod. I hoped she would understand.
Lastly, my eyes found my father's, a struggle at first, considering he was tucked away at the back, forced to be present but not wanting to be. He seemed surprised at my volunteering and, for a split second, I thought he cared. But his actions remain still and I know it was probably just good riddance for him, nothing more.
I didn't expect anything less.
Only when I was on the train, being carted away to my death with the other twenty-three tributes, did I feel complete and utter relief for Lucy Gray. She was truly safe, free from the Games for another year at least, which was more than I could ask for. And maybe Mayfair would get over her vendetta by then, who knew?
Of course, now that the relief had settled in, it didn't take long for it to be replaced by concern because now I was in the Games. And I had no plan, no strategy, nothing.
After the Games...
I wasn't sure how I managed it, but I'd won. I'd really done the impossible, and barely a week later, I found myself on a train back to District Twelve with a little money and a broken arm, but otherwise alive.
Even though I'd expected to die, winning never really being an option, my survival instincts kept kicking in and I just kept getting lucky. And now here I was.
I could never forget what I'd witnessed during the Games, ever, and I wasn't sure if it was worth winning if it meant I would be haunted by all I'd experienced. But I couldn't argue with it because I was finally returning home and I didn't know what to think. It had only been a week, but I'd left a girl and was returning a murderer.
After the train pulled into the station, I was on my own and didn't even think about where my feet were taking me until I found myself walking through the Seam, back to my house. I was relieved to find my dad was at work, not in the mood to face him after all this time. I wasn't sure if anybody even knew I was alive, that I'd won, considering nobody here even had a working TV.
After all I'd endured in the Games, my father was the least of my worries. I refused to be pushed around by him anymore and knew I was going to leave as soon as I could. Even if it meant camping outside, living on the streets, I'd go. I'd figure something out, but for now, I was just lucky to be able to see my bedroom again.
As I sat on my lumpy bed and breathed a sigh of relief, I thought of the Covey, and then of Lucy Gray. Oh, how I'd missed her dearly. She was the only thought I'd had this past week, all of this being for her in the first place. I was just glad she hadn't had to endure everything I had. The guilt and shame of my actions to bring me where I was now was eating away at me, but I would have rather it been me than her.
I missed her, so so much. And I knew I couldn't wait any longer, so I immediately got up and headed straight for their house. It wasn't far from my own, though there's was much closer to the woods. When I approached, I saw Maude Ivory and Tam Amber sat outside, the former milking her goat and the latter planting some flowers. It was Maude Ivory who did a double take first, before she shouted my name and immediately ran up to me, startling me with an intense hug.
It had felt like forever since I'd had any human affection, and I couldn't help but return her hug with a relieved smile, missing her.
"I can't believe you're back!" she was saying, as the others soon began to join one by one, hugging me tightly.
"You really won!"
"We saw you on the TV one night, we were so scared."
"Thank you for volunteerin', you saved our Lucy Gray's life."
I could barely keep up with their compliments, unsure how to respond, but touched that they cared enough to be here.
And then I saw Lucy Gray, finally, as she walked out from the back door of the house, mouth agape when she noticed me. My eyebrows raised a little, hopeful, upon seeing her again. It hadn't been long, and yet it had felt like forever since I'd last seen her.
Barb Azure began to motion to the others to follow her back inside. "Let's give them some space, everyone."
They began to leave, doing just that, and without their presence, I suddenly felt exposed before Lucy Gray. I straightened up, trying to look a little more presentable, but acutely self conscious of my black eye, scarred lip and broken arm.
"Hey," I said, embarassed at how quiet it came out.
She stopped before me, watching me like I was a ghost. "You're really here."
I nodded slowly. "Yeah. I didn't think I would be, but somehow, I won."
But it wasn't somehow, was it? I knew what I did to win.
She suddenly frowned, looking betrayed. "You drugged me."
Realising she was upset, I said, "It was only a sleeping pill."
Her stare hardened. "You knew. You knew it was going to be my name."
I cowered away slightly, saying, "I overheard–"
"You lied to me," she cut me off, "drugged me, volunteered like a fool and–"
"It couldn't be you," I told her sternly. "You're needed here. They need you and I couldn't let you be chosen because of some silly feud, not when I found out. It had to be me. Nobody would miss me and–"
"I would!" she shouted, and I realised her eyes were full of tears as she glared at me. "You asshole, I would! I did! I needed you! You don't get to trick me and make that choice for me and just leave!"
I felt horribly guilty as she spoke, but deep down, I didn't regret my actions.
"Lucy Gray, you would've gotten over me," I said calmly, looking between her eyes. "You would've."
She narrowed her eyes with a glare. "Fuck you."
"Lucy–"
"No, fuck you!" she yelled, shoving me backwards. "You don't get to say that! Like you know how I feel about you!"
I pressed my lips together, feeling my heart ache as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Fuck you," she murmured, before turning around and storming away, past the house and towards the meadow.
I frowned, watching her leave and feeling immense guilt pressing on my chest. I'd never seen her so upset, not in all the time I'd known her, and knowing I was the reason for it only made this whole thing worse.
Barb Azure left the house and approached me with an apologetic frown on her lips.
"I heard what happened," she said sympathetically. "Sorry."
I shook my head. "I didn't mean to upset her."
"We're all grateful for what you did," she said. "She is, too. A small part. But mostly, she's upset because she grieved you. Tried to, at least. She thought you were dead."
"I was supposed to be, if it helps," I mumbled. "I didn't think I'd be coming back here, facing her like this."
It was supposed to be a faceless goodbye. She wasn't supposed to see me again, nor I her. Now, I'd only made things worse.
"She missed you so much," Barb Azure told me knowingly. "She's angry and stubborn, but she missed you, Y/N. Go to her."
I looked up, seeing the encouraging smile on her lips, and figured if anyone knew Lucy Gray more than she did, it was her family. So, with that slight positivity in mind, I followed in the direction of Lucy Gray with hope to fix this. It didn't take long for me to find her in the meadow, sat by her favourite tree and hunched over, crying into her hands.
I tried to approach quietly, but she noticed and suddenly stood up, turning around to glare at me through her tears.
"What do you want? Go away!" she ordered.
I ignored her, taking a step forward, and she only yelled at me more.
"I said go away! I don't wanna speak to you right now!"
Again, I ignored her and continued to approach her.
"Leave me alone, you asshole! I said leave!"
I hugged her before she could protest even more, my good arm tightening around her shoulders desperately, and then she finally stopped shouting and hugged me back just as tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, tears threatening to spill because I never thought I'd see her again, let alone hug her like my life depended on it.
"I'm sorry," I said into her shoulder. "I'm sorry a million times over, Lucy Gray. I never wanted to hurt you, but I don't regret what I did. I'd volunteer every single time."
She gripped my shirt in response, but didn't say anything. I swallowed hard before pulling away reluctantly, meeting her eyes with regret.
"I'm a fool, I know," I agreed with her words from before. "I'm sorry."
Her lip quivered as her eyes darted around my face, taking it in, fixating on the bruise and my scarred lip. She lifted her hand, touching my cheek tenderly, and my breath was caught in my throat at the attention.
"It weren't supposed to be you," she whispered with a broken voice.
"Nor you," I reminded her. "Mayfair cheated."
She shook her head, frowning and meeting my eyes. "You promised you wouldn't get involved, Y/N."
I exhaled through my nose, a sad smile on my lips. "I couldn't help it."
She didn't say anything, simply stared at me, and then she took a seat on the log next to the tree and I joined her, unsure what to do or say.
"I can't believe you're here," she admitted. "I thought I'd never see you again." Her eyes flickered between mine thoughtfully, before lowering to my broken arm in a sling. "How did it happen?"
I looked down at it, hesitating.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked," she said quickly, regretfully, but I shook my head.
"No, it's–" I paused, frowning shamefully. "It's how I won."
She grabbed my hand suddenly, making me look up at her.
"You don't have to tell me," she reassured with a nod.
I looked down at her hand on mine, nerves creeping in. "You wanna know, but... you won't look at me the same. And I don't want to lose you."
"Whatever you did in that arena isn't a reflection of who you are," she said with such a determination that I almost believed her. "It was life or death. And if it meant you're here now, alive, then I don't care."
I closed my eyes, nodding. "You're right. I– you're right."
She was patient, to my relief, and it took a moment for me to find my words.
"I'd spent most of the Games hiding," I began to tell her, comforted by the warmth of her hand in mine. "I avoided confrontation where I could, but one kid, he– he cornered me and had a knife. Managed to cut my lip... I disarmed him and ran with it. Used it to defend myself, injuring whoever got in my way, but never killing. I couldn't– I couldn't do that..."
...I was running, one of the others having found me in the tunnels and chasing me out into the open where they could no doubt kill me with ease. My lungs were screaming for air, burning with each step I took, but I kept pushing myself until I was in the stands. The other tribute followed me though, carrying a spear and swinging it my way.
I avoided each swing, knife in hand but myself unable to do anything with it, not without getting in close. And then they swung again, making me dodge, and slammed the blunt end of their spear into my back, pushing me over the edge of the stands and to the ground below with a loud crack. I would have a screamed at the unbearable pain from my arm, but I'd slammed my head onto the ground, leaving me dazed.
My vision was spinning and my arm was throbbing and I didn't know what was what, but then I heard someone's feet land behind me and I knew I had to play dead, my last chance at surviving. Through one open eye, I could see footsteps approaching, but also the glint of my knife which had dropped beside me during the fall. I stayed still, practically holding my breath as the other tribute leaned down to check if I was alive. And before they could try to turn me over, I grabbed the knife and stabbed the first thing I could touch.
Only when I heard the sounds of gurgling did I look to see what I'd done. My knife was lodged into their neck, their pleading eyes begging mine as I scrambled back out of fear, watching them die a slow and painful death without meaning to. I was certain I could never un-hear those noises, or un-see their death...
Tears wet my face when I finished telling Lucy Gray the story, and I was trembling slightly as the memories flashed in my head.
"I didn't want to," I told her, shaking my head guiltily. "I didn't. But it was the only way. The only way to be done. I– I'm not a murderer. I'm not. I'm–"
She pulled me in for a hug, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "It's okay. It's okay, Y/N."
I cried into her shoulder, but it didn't make me feel any better. I'd murdered someone, and now I'd live with the reminder forever.
"You did what you had to do," she tried to console me, but I knew it wasn't entirely true.
It wasn't over, not really. I'd see their faces everywhere, forever.
"I wish you didn't have to do that," she said after a moment, pulling away but holding my hand between hers. "And I haven't said it yet, but thank you for taking my place, even though I didn't want you to. You saved my life. I just wish it wasn't at the expense of your own."
She kissed my cheek before hugging me again, sighing contently.
"By the way, if you ever try to tell me how I feel, I'll kill you myself," she muttered into my shoulder. "I'm not losing you, ever."
I stayed quiet, wrapping my arm around her instead. I knew I'd do this all again if it meant she was safe. But she wouldn't understand.
By the time word spread about my 'triumph' in the Games and return to District Twelve, I'd already moved out of my dad's place. He barely uttered a word to me, neither did he try stopping me. I wasn't sure if it was because he knew what I was capable of, or if he'd just been waiting for me to leave, but it was easier than I'd imagined.
My only choices were being homeless, moving into the community home full of kids with no parents or staying with the Covey. Naturally, it was easy to choose the latter, especially when Lucy Gray insisted I stayed with them.
It was easy at first, easier than I expected, to make myself at home and try to continue my life as it once was before the Games. I went back to work as soon as possible, even with one arm broken, did as many shifts as I could before the summer ended and I'd be back at school with less time to make money and afford food. I accompanied the Covey to the Hob, helping them prepare for their sets and encouraging people to donate money for their performances. It was almost normal.
But at night, that was when I couldn't seem to escape the true reality of what I'd been through. I'd fall asleep, no problem, and then my nightmares would feature different versions of the Games, bloody kills of the other tributes, the knot of fear in my chest expanding until I woke up in cold sweats and with wet eyes.
I couldn't tell anybody, especially not the Covey or Lucy Gray. I couldn't be a burden to them, not after all they'd done for me, but it was getting unbearable. The faces, they wouldn't stop haunting me. And the scar on my lip that wasn't fading only seemed to serve as a permanent reminder, frightening me because maybe I would never escape it. Maybe I'd suffer forever, a consequence of winning.
It happened again, tonight, and I woke with a start, eyes shooting open and mistaking the shadow on the ceiling for a predator in the dark. It took me a moment to remember where I was, what was real. Lucy Gray's bedroom. I was in the bed they'd set up for me, opposite hers, and the curtains were drawn, casting a ghastly blue glow around the room.
Wiping my eyes, I moved my legs over the side of the bed and glanced over at Lucy Gray, who was sound asleep. I was careful not to wake her as I slipped into some shoes and left the room, practicing the same caution as I left the house completely and sat outside on the garden furniture. The fresh air did much better to wake me up, reminding me where I was, and I simply sat there under the dark sky, trying to collect myself.
It was always the same. Some nights were worse than others, like tonight, where I'd be forced to step outside for some fresh. Other nights I could just brush it off and force myself to sleep. Would it ever get better?
I wasn't sure how long passed, but I heard the back door of the house opening and turned around, ready to apologise to whoever I'd woken. To my surprise, it was Lucy Gray.
"I didn't mean to wake you up," I said quickly, straightening up. "I can go back in. I–"
"Stop," she said softly, before taking a seat on the chair next to me, eyes never leaving mine.
I swallowed thickly, unable to hold her stare.
"I've tried to give you space," she said, the fatigue laced in her voice. "Since you've been here. I've seen you leave in the middle of the night... I'm worried, Y/N. Talk to me. Please."
Embarrassed I'd been caught out, I tried to reassure her. "I'm fine. It's nothing."
She scoffed quietly. "Are we not close enough that you shouldn't lie to me?"
I glanced at her, sighing when I saw the worry looking back at me.
"It's the Games, isn't it?" she asked carefully. "You're dreamin' of them."
I didn't trust my voice, so I could only nod weakly. She tensed her jaw slightly before moving her chair closer to me and pulling me in for a side hug. Leaning her head on my shoulder, she squeezed comfortingly, and I melted under her touch.
"Wake me when it happens," she encouraged. "It's not nice bein' alone when you've just had a nightmare."
"I'm not doing that," I started, a million reasons on the tip of my tongue for why I wouldn't subject her to that, but she cut me off pleadingly.
"Please. It'll make me feel better, knowin' I can at least be with you. Knowin' you're not alone. That I can help."
I didn't reply, unsure I could agree when I knew I just couldn't do it.
"I'm gonna push the beds together if you don't," she added, lightheartedly but with a touch of concern still present.
Nonetheless, it brought a smile to my lips and I exhaled sharply through my nose, a sad attempt at a laugh. "Okay."
She squeezed my shoulder in response and then straightened up, offering me a tired smile. "Come on."
"What?"
"You're not goin' back to sleep, clearly, so let's go," she insisted, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.
"Go where?" I asked, though let her lead me out of the garden.
"The lake, duh."
I didn't fight it and let her tug me along, walking down to the lake. It was quiet out, especially between us, and the mindless task of walking through the woods with her hand in mine gave me something else to focus on other than my nightmares.
When we reached the lake, we took a seat at the edge of the dock again, just like last time.
"No midnight swims, please," I warned her playfully, and she laughed quietly.
"I promise," she muttered, before looking out at the water.
My eyes took in her profile for a moment, following the slope of her nose, the point of her cupid's bow, the curve of her lips... even in the dark, with only a minuscule of moonlight casting shadows across her face, she was stunning. I wondered if she knew the effect she could have on me just by being here.
"Thank you," I said, unable to keep my gratitude in for much longer. "For everything."
She rolled her eyes playfully, continuing to look ahead. "Oh, shut up."
I furrowed my brows. "Huh?"
She gave me a disapproving glance. "After all that's happened, you don't need to thank me."
"I do," I said simply, and she rolled her eyes again.
"Seriously, shut up before I make you."
Knowing I wouldn't win this one, I exhaled softly and looked away, eyes subconsciously tracing the shimmers of light in the still water.
"Why did you do it?" Lucy Gray suddenly asked, playfulness gone.
"What?"
She paused. I wasn't sure she'd continue, and then she said, "Volunteer." I opened my mouth to answer, but she cut me off, adding, "And don't say it's because nobody would miss you. You knew that I would have. So, why?"
I pressed my lips together firmly, suddenly feeling warm. It was such an easy question, with an even easier answer. But I couldn't bring myself to say it for the same reason I'd never told her. I was a coward. But didn't she deserve to know the truth? Didn't I deserve to finally come clean? To lift this weight from my shoulders?
My heart was thumping ever so loudly for the girl next to me. I'd faced life or death situations, surely I could do this.
"Y/N?" she prompted, glancing at me.
I licked my lips, gaze focused on the darkness ahead. "I'm in love with you."
The silence was deafening, unlike before when it was welcomed. Not even a gasp or a slight movement from beside me betrayed her reaction, her surprise. I was too paralysed with fear of rejection to look at her. Instead, I stayed put, certain I'd be stuck there in that moment forever, never hearing a response. But then finally:
"I thought that was it. I just had to hear you say it."
My jaw tensed as I digested her words, eyes still fixated on the water. She knew? This whole time, she knew?
"I love you too," she murmured, and in my peripheral, I could see her staring ahead also. "That's why I hated that you did it."
Unable to act cowardly any longer, I forced myself to look to her. She did the same, knocking the breath from me when her dark eyes met mine. It was horribly intimidating, even though she was doing nothing different. Except now she knew. She finally knew. And I knew that she knew. And that was different enough to terrify me.
"Never again," she muttered. "You have to promise me and actually keep it."
And just like that, I was reminded why I'd volunteered in the first place. Coward or not, it was only ever for her.
"I can't," I admitted.
She scrunched her face with hurt. "And why not?"
I grimaced. "I just told you why."
A frown appeared on her lips, jaw clenching in annoyance. Her eyes flickered between mine defiantly, and I knew I was upsetting her again.
"I'm sorry," I said, tilting my head.
"I hate you," she said lowly.
I shook my head, holding her intense gaze. "Not according to what you just said."
Her lips curled inwards, frustrated, and after one last glance, she leaned forward and kissed me hard. My eyes fluttered close as she caressed my cheek, holding me close. I slipped my uninjured arm around her waist, revelling in her warmth and the softness of her lips. It was the best kiss I'd ever had. The only kiss, yes, but one I'd never want to compete with.
When we pulled apart, her hand was still on my cheek, and mine still on her waist, and I worried that if I opened my eyes, something would go wrong. That this would all be a dream.
"You should've told me sooner," she murmured, lips ghosting mine.
I reluctantly opened my eyes, instantly submerged in hers. "Not everyone can speak their mind as confidently as you can, Lucy Gray."
She licked her lips, drawing my gaze to them yet again. "I can't always. Clearly."
I looked down, shaking my head slightly. "I couldn't."
Her thumb stroked my cheek tenderly. "Not even after? When you came home?"
It was hilarious, how easy she made it all sound. I raised an eyebrow at her, trying not to smile. "You don't know how you make me feel, do you?" Her expression softened, and I continued, "Imagine standing on the edge of a cliff. Then jumping off."
"Scared?" she asked, growing worried, but I shook my head.
"Free," I corrected, growing warm at my honesty, it coming way too easily for once. "And that in itself is scary, isn't it? But scary in a good way. I– I've never felt like that before."
She exhaled softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You're not so bad at speaking your mind, it seems."
I breathed out through my nose, mirroring her smile. Her thumb outlined my lips lightly, tracing my scar, and then resting on my cheek again. She was thoughtful, eyes staring at my face, but distant.
"That feeling you described," she started, voice smooth and comforting, "it goes both ways."
I wondered how it could. I'd never imagined myself giving her a similar comfort, nor her feeling so strongly about me as I did with her. But then she kissed me again, and I didn't need to think about it anymore.
#lucy gray baird#lucy gray x reader#lucy gray baird x reader#lucy gray baird imagine#rachel zegler#the hunger games imagine#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes imagine#the ballad of songbirds and snakes
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The Intern
It's Halloween night and you work on set with Hayden Christensen.
Who wants to party with Anakin?
Hayden/ Anakin x Gn Reader
AO3 | MASTERLIST
*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*
Warnings; shy hayden, soft dom, n3pple play, or4l- hayden.receiving, praise, soft degradation
Happy Halloween!
WC; 3k
You only been working here for 3 months. Getting everyone their coffees and scripts. Making sure that everything goes as smoothly as possible for the cast members and directors. But this internship was getting on your last nerve. How can anyone survive these boring and unchallenging tasks. This is truly unfulfilling you tell yourself as you eat your lunch alone in the cafeteria. You only took the job because you needed to be more “involved on set and understand the flow” as your professor puts it.
As you play with your macaroni salad with a plastic spoon, you hear someone entering the room. By instinct, you bring your eyes up to meet a handsome man.
“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to disturb..” cutting himself mid-sentence.
“Oh no, no worries, you're not.” You reply mindlessly not fully realizing that it's Hayden Christensen who just entered the break room. You wouldn't say that you're easily starstruck, but you must admit, he looks better in person.
He smiles timidly, going towards the coffee machine. “Got to have my caffeine. I- woke up early.” saying nervously.
Watching him try to make small talk is utterly painful. He doesn't need to talk to you. So why is he acting so weird?
“Busy?” You asks, trying to sound casual.
“Yeah, I mean, I was in Seattle yesterday. Matter of fact I just landed here not even two hours ago.” Saying as he clicks a plastic lid on his coffee cup. “What's your name? Wait don't tell me. This way I know I'll see you again.” He smiles to you before looking at his watch. “I'm really sorry, I have to go. See you around I guess..”
“Bye” you finally speak out, but he was already out the door. What the fuck just happened?
For the rest of the day, you couldn't stop thinking about the most pathetic celebrity encounter you have ever had in your life, yet. I mean he's a big celebrity and he's busy. He said so himself. It's not like you're going to see him again, right?
“Hey newbie, the director wants a round of coffee. He's also asking if you contacted the new hairstylist to see if they can come tomorrow instead of Wednesday?”
“I did, she said yes, and I'll go get them shortly.” You reply nonchalantly. The other assistant simply smiles at you before walking away. Ugh, can this day be any worse? This is the 5th coffee run today and you only have an hour left to your shift. Without wasting any time, you go straight to your car. Not wanting to stay overtime again. Especially not today. Once behind the wheel, you sigh as you decide to have a look at your face. Jeez, I really look tired. I can't believe I just met him looking like this. What am I saying? It's not like I have a chance anyway..
With 10 min left to your shift, you only have a couple coffees left to deliver. Opening the director's office door. You quickly recognize Hayden’s side profile.
What is he still doing here? Never mind, just stay professional.
“I'm here Jay, bringing the hot!” You say with a bright smile.
You hear a clear sigh coming from Hayden’s direction as you put the coffees on the meeting's table. As you try to look discreetly in his direction, you're met with his intense gaze. Why is he looking at me like that? He wasn't like that earlier.. Did I do something wrong?
“Thank you, I really needed that. Hey, listen kid, would you mind staying later tonight?” Jay asks casually while scribbling in his notebook.
“I–“ tonight is Halloween night and some of your friends invited you to join them at a party. Usually, you would've said no but this job had been so draining lately. You just want a little break.
He stops writing to look at you properly, “I know you've been staying late a lot but that's only because I trust you kid. You're doing an incredible job here..”
“I'm okay with it, I mean that's the least I can do before I leave.” You say calmly trying to not let your annoyance show through.
He gives you a weak smile before returning to his scribbles. “Anita was looking for you earlier, I think she's in costume right now.”
“I'll go check, anything else?”
“I think you'll be pretty busy with her tonight, I'll let you work with her. If anything, I'll fetch you.”
You nod before turning around. Fighting back the urge to look at Hayden again before leaving. Stay professional, this will never happen. We don't want him to think you're just another stupid fan. Just stay cool..”
You sigh walking towards Anita’s workshop. As you walk the corridors, you feel a strong hand gripping your arm. You turn to a taller men with frowning brows.
“Hey, um, I'm sorry. It's just I've been yelling and–“ You look to Hayden puzzled. “I guess what I'm trying to say is, um, ask, would you go out after with me?”
You look at him like you have a million questions inside your head. While he looks at you anxiously waiting. “I work late tonight.”
He nervously passes a hand in his hair, “right, yes, that's true. Shit, I'm sorry I shouldn't have bothered you. Have a great night..” he says looking at the floor, slowly walking away.
What the actual fuck? Ugh, I'm going to regret this.. “I'm off at 11.” Raising your voice to make sure he hears you.
He smiles as he faces you. “What's fun to do around here at 11?”
His smile is truly contagious, making you blush automatically, “I was invited for a Halloween party-”
“Cool, I'll come back to pick you up 11:30” walking away once again before you could place another word.
Oh jeez, what did I get myself into..
--
You were doing some final make up touches before heading out the door. This year's last-minute costume is a vampire. As you're drawing some electric reddish veins underneath your eyes you can't stop thinking about the fact that you're going to a party with fucking Hayden Christensen. How did this happen? How are you going to explain this to your friends? This is going to be a big problem. You try to calm yourself down. Telling yourself that this is just a friendship situation. Omg is he a womanizer? No, that can't be it. He looked way too nervous to be one, right?
It's 11:35 and you're patiently waiting outside when a car enters the driveway. Seeing it's him, you walk towards the car, opening the door. As you're putting your seatbelt on, you can feel the heavy energy in the air as if you were being observe.
“Wow” you hear him say softly in a low voice. “You really look good.” Shyly, you bring your eyes up to be met by his, looking at you shamelessly. He clears his throat quickly as he realize his behaviour, “where to?” he finally asks.
“Omg”— “What??”
“You can't wear that.” You say almost horrified.
He laughs knowing exactly what you’re referring to. “It’s not that bad”
“This, this is your Anakin costume..” you state gesturing his outfit.
“Don't worry about it.”
“Do you seriously believe that this is discrete? Everyone will know it's you. You have a pretty memorable face you know.”
He laughs even more, “So I've been told. Stop, I told you, don't worry. Just tell me where it is.”
“I don't know if I should, maybe you're a kidnapper.” you say nonchalantly.
He tries not to laugh as he bites his lower lips. “Then we can stay here.”
“We?”
“Yeah, I mean don't get me wrong I like a party as much as the next person but, I want to know you. I don't mind where we are as long as I can talk to you.”
You can't control your smile as you feel warmth in your stomach. Suddenly the self-doubts and questioning just fades away. This is a date.. omg, you're on a date with him.. you clear your throat, “I’d like to go, I really need this.”
“Stressed?” Asking as he punches the address in the map app and starts to drive.
“You could say that.”
“Yeah, I'm familiar with the feeling. The ‘set’ life isn't always glamorous.”
“You're an actor, it's different, you're the star.”
He bites his bottom lip before replying, “well, the pressure is like no other. There are so many fans, so many critics. You need to have a thick skin. Plus you have to put yourself in so many weird situations. Trust me, it's stressful.”
“Yeah, I guess you're right, I never saw it like that.” You replied as he smiles softly. You notice that you've been quite comfortable in his presence compared to earlier this morning. He looks so self-assured and in control of himself you tell yourself. How can he be so grounded?
During the ride you finally get to relax and enjoy your small talks. That was until you finally arrive at the party. Now all you can think about is the fact that your plus one is Hayden. As you both walk towards the house door, you can already hear the music blasting from outside.
“Heyyy!!”—“You came!” You hear your friends calling.
“Yeah, I actually just finished work–“
“–OMG are you the real Anakin? Like the actor?”— “I think his name is Hayden.”— “that's not him, that can't be him.”
“Yeah, well, I always been told we looked alike, so I went with an Anakin costume this year.” Hayden responds smiling casually to the others.
“You don't say” —”well it’s uncanny, you really do look like him.” One girl lets out.
You roll your eyes, “stop bothering my friend. Anyways, we're gonna have a look around, we'll be right back” stating as you both walk away. “I told you that dressing as Anakin was a bad idea..” you say leaning towards him.
He turns his head slightly to you as he tries to hear you better over the loud music, “Then let's get out of here. You know, to a place we can actually hear each other?”
“Yeah, let's get out.” You reply and he doesn't waste a second. Guiding you back to the car. “Where now?” You ask as you put on your seatbelt back on.
“I know a place near.”
As you watch the car lights passing over him. You can't help but smile, he is so handsome, so hot.. Especially in his battle attire. “You do that often?”
“What do I do often?” Glancing quickly in your direction.
“Kidnapping interns on set.”
He automatically let out some low giggles. “Ahh, huh, um no..” he answered shyly. “I don't..” Before you could place a word, he enters a hidden dirt road.
“Oh, so you did plan to murder me.”
He gives you a smirk, “Nah, you're way too pretty for me to kill..”
--
After a moment you stop in front of a wooden bridge. “What is this place?”
“Patience” he simply respond as he stops the car. “Come”
You follow him without hesitation, crossing the bridge before going deeper into the woods. “Is it safe?” You asks voice worried.
He takes your hand as he leads, “I used to come here all the time when I was a teenager.”
“You grew up here?”
He chuckles, “No, my aunt lived nearby. I used to visit every summer for a month with my mother.”
After a few minutes of walking off road you finally arrived at a secluded part of a lake. “Woah, it's so pretty.. I lived here all my life, and I never knew this place existed.” You were truly amazed by the view. The moon was almost full. Shining it's light on the lake like diamonds on calm waters. Making everything a little more visible in this otherwise very dark night.
“I can't believe it, it's still there-” you hear him say from afar. You glanced at him, watching him drag a tree trunk towards you. “-Look” he says pointing to a part of the trunk.
·The true Skywalker was here·
You smile as you read it, “You wrote that? How fitting, you're even dress for the occasion.” You state gesturing to his costume.
“Ha, yeah, I haven't come here in ages. Last time I came to visit, I made a little stop here. I had just received the call to play Anakin and I knew the role would change my life. I know it sounds stupid but, I wanted something to remember the old me by.” He responds as he looks at you nervously. “You're really beautiful tonight.” saying low, almost a whisper. Coming to close the gap between you.
“Thank you, and no, it’s not stupid. I actually think it’s pretty cool..” You don't know if it's the proximity, his firm yet soft voice or the fact that you would literally do anything he'd ask you to, but you can already feel the pulsing need in between your legs. Is he really going to kiss me? You wondered.
As if he could hear your mind, he presses his pillowy lips softly against yours. Humming as he does. “Since I saw you this morning this is all I can think about.”
“What?” You ask confused.
“I couldn't look away; you were constantly on my mind. I had to know you more.” He says passing his hands on your chest over the clothes. “Is this, okay? C-can I know more of you?”
You swallow, “yes of course, I'd love to.” trying not to sound too desperate.
He smirks and omg, his smile mixed with desire is to die for. He goes back to your mouth with his lips slightly parted. Pushing his tongue gently inside. Jeez even his spit is sweet. Meanwhile, his hands were going underneath your shirt, moving upwards. He growls low when reaching your nipples. Brushing them lightly with his cold fingertips before he starts to flicker them.
You try to stay grounded but it's becoming really difficult. His eyes were burning with desire as he watch you melt under his touch. “Wow, we just started and you're already so needy.”
“I'm sorry” you say slightly embarrassed.
“Don't be, I love it.” He purrs, moving slightly lower as he brings your shirt up, exposing your entire chest to him. “Mm, would you look at that. They're already hard and ready for me.” Stating as he brings his wet lips around your hardened nipple. Giving it some gentle sucks as his thumb flickers and rolls the other one.
Oh god, this feels amazing.
He hums deep, switching between them as his mouth licks and bites them gently. You're pretty sure that if he doesn't stop you might just cum like this. “Fuck, you're so hot. I bet you also feel so good and soft elsewhere” You nod while moaning as you feel the need growing inside you belly. “Can I feel you?”
“Yes, please, anything.”
He smiles kissing your lips, nibbling at your bottom one. He starts to undo his belt and you automatically drop to your knees. “Hey, that's not– “
“I want to.” you say smiling against his bulge. You start to unzip his pants letting his harden cock spring free. Geez even his penis is gorgeous. Long and thick with a little bead of precum already leaking from the tip. You can clearly see the veins pumping as it twitches with anticipation.
“Are you still sure?” He asks laughing discretely. Aware of your startled eyes.
You don't bother to answer as you start to shyly lick the tip of it. You hear him chuckle softly as he closes his eyes to the pleasure. Which only drives you with more heat as you start to stretch your mouth around him. “Ugh, this feels soo good sweetheart. You're doing such a great job” his words are only encouraging you to finally take it full. Sucking him like you never sucked before. Gaging slightly when you made it hit the back of your throat, but it didn't matter. Because his moans and panting were the best reward you ever had. His head falls back as his pleasure grow.
Becoming desperate, you needed some relief. Bringing your hand down, you begin to play with yourself while still moaning around his cock.
He quickly notices it as he passes his hand in your hair. Petting your head before grabbing a fist full of it. “Argh fuck yes, you're so fucking good baby. So, fucking good with this mouth, omg. Such a pretty mouth on such a pretty babe.”
The praises are just too much. You can feel him fighting the urge to thrust into your mouth. Making touch yourself with desperation as he almost chokes up. “Wait, are you going to cum like this?” You nod as you continue to pump him inside your mouth. Feeling your sweet release near. “Oh, fuck..” he says surprised, “I didn't know you were so needy.” as he's softly pinching one of your nipples.
And that does it. You finally feel the waves of pleasure as your eyes closes slightly. Having your mouth fully open during your peak, making his cock loosely slides freely on your tongue. “Shit, you're so hot when you come like that. Please, can I come on your chest?”
You simply smile as you present your bare chest to him. Playing with your nipples, rolling them in between your fingers. You watch him stroke himself as he grunts low. Panting as he brings himself closer to the edge. “Agh, you're so god damn pretty..” He finally cums, letting his juices drip freely drip on your nipples.
“Fuck, you're so perfect sweetheart..”
#anakin x you#anakin x reader#anakin imagine#hayden christensen#kinktober 2023#kinktober#star wars#halloween smut#halloween kinktober#anakin fic#anakin smut#sw anakin#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker imagine#anakin skywalker imagines#anakin skywalker x reader#star wars imagine#star wars anakin#anakin x fem reader#anakin skywalker x female reader#anakin skywalker x you#star wars smut#anakin fanfiction#anakin x y/n#anakin skywalker fic
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"You Look Cute Flustered"-Anthony Lockwood
requested: anonymous
words: 1221
warnings: not much, the word suicidal maybe (idk if that counts), also implied that reader was shorter than Lockwood, but in my defense I usually use myself as reference when needed and I'm 4'11, but not much just cute fluff
summary: Lockwood was always charming and witty around everyone else, except for you. Around you Lockwood's mind would always draw a blank and he would become even more flustered. And it only got worse when you started to date.
Everyone knew one thing about Lockwood and it was that he was incredibly witty. Wherever he went, whoever he talked to, he could charm his way out of any situation. Anyone, and everyone would easily fall for whatever smile, or smirk Lockwood would put on, just to get out of any situation. Even if he was just talking to someone he could capture their full attention in a matter of moments with the softest of smiles.
Lockwood was like that around everyone, except for you. When it came to you Lockwood couldn't seem to even get out a proper sentence without his brain almost short circuiting as he stumbled over all his words. This would always result in you smiling, or sometimes even teasing him by saying, "You look cute flustered."
One time you and Lockwood were in the kitchen preparing breakfast. You were making tea, while Lockwood was trying to finally make toast that didn't burn in the toaster. You were just trying to grab the sugar that George decided to put on the top shelf when he reorganised the entire kitchen during one of his maniac cleanings.
You could just barely reach when you felt a hand wrap around your waist, as a hand went up to grab the sugar for you, "Thanks, Anthony," you said, referring to him by his first name, something he only allowed you to do.
Lockwood didn't know if it was the way his hand rested on your waist, or the smile you gave him, or the way you said his name, making him feel like his entire self was made of butterflies. All poor Lockwood could manage out was a simple, "N-no problem," while turning back towards the one burnt toast, trying to hide the massive blush on his face.
After that interaction, whenever you said something to him he would immediately blush, then proceed to stumble over almost every word before getting the fragments of a sentence out.
Many more of these a occasions occurred, and they only got worse when the two of you started dating. Lockwood somehow got even worse. Every sentence took him a second to say after trying to get over his initial fluster.
Complimenting him, he was flustered. Making him tea, flustered, unable to express how thankful he was. Saving him during a job, even more flustered and takes him a moment to thank you and assure you that he was okay. Even just standing next to him, and that man turned as red as a tomato.
One of the most notable times this happened was while giving a report to Inspector Barnes. Lockwood and Co. had just escaped a suicidal job after showing up with almost no research. You managed to somehow cut yourself on your rapier when you were distracted. Now you were getting your hand patched up while Lockwood was waiting for Barnes to come back with the paperwork.
You had just finished getting your hand bandaged up, and started to head towards Lockwood. For once he wasn't flustered by your mere presence, more filled with concern for how you were doing.
The moment you were near him his arms wrapped around you, "How bad is your hand?" he asked, concerned for you since you would most likely be off the job for a week or two.
You shrugged, "Not horrible, but not good. I have to keep it bandaged for a week, and I can't do anything too straining, that way I don't break my stitches. I'll be out of operation for a week or two," You said, a bit sullen looking since you would be letting George, Lucy, and Lockwood work without you for a couple of weeks.
"It's okay, love," he said, placing a small kiss on your forehead, "Just do as the doctor said. No working till your hands fully healed and you'll be all better soon. When we get home I'll make you some tea and you can get some well deserved sleep, and you won't have to lift a finger for weeks, so that your hand can heal," Lockwood assured him. He would probably die from how much he cares about the people he loves. It was really just a small injury, an inconvenience as you thought of it, but Lockwood saw it as a reason to now take care of you more than he already did.
"That does sound nice, but I feel bad not being able to help you guys on jobs. It's just frustrating to me. It makes me feel useless" you told him, looking at the ground filled with your own pity for yourself.
Lockwood lifted up your chin so that you could look at him, "You're not useless, love. You can still help with research, but you're anything but useless, you know that?
You let out a breath, "Yeah, I know, I just hate it," you told him, relaxing further into his touch for comfort.
Lockwood lent down to plant a small kiss on your lips, "I'm just glad your okay," he said, leaning down for another kiss, this time a lot longer than the first one.
You stayed like that for a moment before you were interrupted, "Alright, I have all the paperwork, just sign here, here, and-" Barnes cut himself off when he noticed you two, and how you jumped apart.
In a moment like this Lockwood would usually say something witty like 'Your timing is impeccable', but once again Lockwood could no longer form words in his flustered state.
Instead it was you with the witty response, "You've clearly mastered the art of comedic timing, haven't you," you joked, looking at Barnes' shocked face. You and Inspector Barnes had a weird relationship. You'd known Barnes since you started out, and he even pointed you in the direction of Lockwood and Co., not purposefully since his words were more like, 'Whatever you do, do not join Lockwood and Co. and stay away from them', yet here you were. So Barnes was more than surprised to see his least favourite (his favourite) troublemaker kissing the girl he tried so hard to mentor to become a good person.
"I-I," he stumbled, confused to what was happening, "Since when have you been a thing?" Once again Lockwood tried to speak, but was unable to find any sort of words.
"A month, two I think next week," you told Barnes, thinking back to when Lockwood finally asked you out. Barnes decided to ask questions later, and for now hand you all the necessary paperwork.
Once you finished, Barnes collected it and turned to leave, but not before he told Lockwood, "Don't hurt her, I already am not your biggest fan, so don't screw whatever this is up to."
Lockwood probably would've made some sort of joke, but all he did was nod, smile, and try to stumble out some sort of 'understood' while trying to not blush too much. Barnes could tell Lockwood would never do anything to hurt you, just by how he was acting. No one made Anthony Lockwood flustered and unable to use his charm and wit, except for you. While looking over the paperwork Inspector Barnes thought about how one day he wouldn't be surprised if (or more like when) he saw your name have the last name Lockwood behind it.
Current Taglist (ask to be added)
@almost-gabrielle @scarlett-8 @atashiboba @that1deerpersondownstairs
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could i know more of your thistlecaster thoughts/any hc’s??
YES sorry ive become insufferable about them im gonna list off everything off the top of my head
classic example of fell first/fell harder. after the breakup w zelda gorgug sorta gradually spirals into being in love w fabian but he's very much like "im not gonna put my crush on him, i'll tell him at some point but i don't wanna mess things up" and he's very...not casual but not constantly freaking out about it. meanwhile fabian gets hit by the metaphorical "in love with gorgug" bus and proceeds to be so uncool about it to the point where everyone BUT gorgug notices his crush. it's the "leans against a vending machine and breaks it" scene w mazey but 10x worse
they spar A Lot, because they're the two main melee fighters/the ones who don't rely heavily on spellcasting in combat, which means they work together on the field A Lot. as such they're very good at reading each other's body language
PDA couple alert. not to trackerbees levels there is no 69ing on the battlefield but fabian is constantly holding gorgug's hand or leaning against his side and gorgug is constantly hugging fabian from behind or resting his chin on his head. fabian is touch-starved (hallariel isn't exactly the cuddling type and bill's physical affection tends to come in random bone-cracking bursts) and just sort of melts into gorgug
he also melts into gorgug bc gorgug is very earnest and sweet and fabian "expressing genuine vulnerability is dangerous" does not know how to process this other than by becoming a ball of deeply enamored mush
you've never seen someone give as many gifts as fabian does. even if it's just smth like a coffee or tea when they meet up before classes bc fabian knows that he needs the extra energy. there's big gifts too, like the giant workshop and lab he converts one of the multiple training rooms in seacaster manor into for gorgug to artifice (state of the art, ofc), but also things like a special holster for drumsticks, pillows enchanted to maximize restful sleep, etc.
gorgug retaliates by making fabian Many Things. often accessories. several with tin flowers on them (he also makes the engagement and wedding rings, when it eventually comes to that. and it does. to me.)
fabian gets a little emotional whenever he's offered another flower
fabian is also big on terms of endearment and pet names but "darling" is very specifically never one of them. gorgug's favorite of the bunch is "flower"
gorgug loves watching fabian dance. fabian also loves watching gorgug artifice. there tends to be an admiring onlooker in their various workspaces
the hangman fully offered to throw itself into a ditch so gorgug would come fix it again if that would help fabian flirt w gorgug. fabian refused. the hangman kept asking and was only effectively stopped when reminded that gorgug owns the hangvan
speaking of the hangvan. good makeout spot.
idk i just think they're so in love and they match up so well i think about them always. fabian also goes to so many cig figs concerts with big ol glittery signs covered in hearts and gorgug is always flustered when he sees him in the crowd, much to fig's delight. when gorgug mentions wanting to write fabian a song she is immediately on board and insists he has to do it
fig needs to know details immediately and gorgug is. so bashful about giving them. meanwhile fabian WANTS to gush and riz is like ily im so happy for you i dont need to know all the details. this does eventually mean fig bugs fabian for details and fabian eagerly gives them
unlike his mother fabian knows loving someone with a human lifespan when you're going to live well beyond one means you have to treasure every single moment with them. so he does. and gorgug knows he will love him no matter what plane he's on, living or dead
i have more this is just. what i've got off the top of my head rn. thanks for letting me be completely insufferable
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Pacifica Northwest is transmasc and you can't change my mind
Okay. That sounds insane. I am aware. It sounds insane to me. But fuck it - I already did the trans Dipper rant essay and so I'll do the same with trans Pacifica.
So Pacifica grows up rich with very oppressive parents. She's clearly a child of abuse who likely has no sense of identity. She's forced to fit a strict mold of The Perfect Daughter. Someone who is perfect and demure and pristine and womanly and who has to wear the right color dress and can't just wear something close enough because otherwise she gets something implied to be very bad.
Put another way: A kid is forced to be exactly perfect and the definition of whatever their gender is. They are not allowed to deviate from that definition in the least otherwise Bad Things happen. They're scared to even be slightly different.
Sound familiar? Because a lot of trans kids go through the same thing. A lot of trans femme people have to play with the Boy Toys because otherwise they're a flower boy and that's bad (which in itself is bad because flower boy is old slang for gay/derogatory as well as gender expression and identity being different but it also hurts trans people). A lot of transmasc people have to play dress up because if they don't there's Something Wrong with them.
I am more than 90% certain that it wasn't intentional, but looking at Pacifica through the lens of someone who tried to do a Boy Thing once and was forced to be hyperfemme for the rest of their life is just so good to me.
Pacifica embodies a lot of toxic girl tropes. You've heard of toxic masculinity, now get ready for toxic femininity - she's petty and superficial and puts too much stock in appearances. Which, granted, is a thing that happens in girl friend groups - I've seen it happen many times - but it reads as different to me. This isn't malice, Pacifica has been shown to be a good person (The Golf War, Northwest Mansion Mystery). She cares for those around her and often only acts the way she does because she has to. Any time she tries to speak up, she gets ruthlessly shut down. She has to be what her parents want, when they want, how they want. If she doesn't, she gets punished.
Yes, Pacifica shows up to every event dressed femme. But who drove her to those events? Who has their claws in every aspect of the town? Who would hear about anything that happens in Gravity Falls? Who buys her clothes? Her parents. And if her parents - who, again, are likely abusive - want her to be and dress like their perfect little girl, their hyperfemme daughter, then she will. She has to be.
From a writing perspective, Pacifica is made to be the opposite of Mabel. One loves fun and color and chaos, is nice no matter what. The other is sitting outside this room and named Pacifica Northwest. But looking at it like that, why wouldn't Pacifica be trans? Especially if Mabel is transfemme - which is a fun reading of her and one that I love to see. It's not canon but think about it. If Mabel is transfemme then Pacifica - her inverse - would be transmasc. The other end of the spectrum.
But now I need real evidence, right? My transmasc Dipper essay was built on much more than "this is behavior seen in a lot of trans people just generally". I pointed out specific scenes in specific episodes - though I forgot Carpet Diem, which is fascinating and which I could so make an essay on by itself. Can I do that for Pacifica?
Well, the short answer is no. The best evidence I have is a general hand-wave at her behavior and environment and "this just reads as transmasc to me". Which, to be completely fair, is how headcanons work. They don't necessarily need any degree of proof. It's nice and it can help people to agree with you, but in the end, it doesn't matter. I can say I headcanon anything, and because it's a headcanon, you can't do shit about it. If I say Pacifica is transmasc beyond a shadow of a doubt, then you can challenge me.
To be fair, I did say that. The title of this is literally "Pacifica is transmasc and you can't change my mind", I will take that I was making claims. But also I immediately followed that up with "it sounds insane to me" so I should hope we all know that I'm going into headcanons-based-on-the-text territory.
And I'm never going to attack someone over a headcanon that makes someone feel seen, and I'd hope that holds true for everyone. I like Pacifica as transmasc and forcing herself into the box of cis female when it's wrong because I did the same. I love transmasc Pacifica. I love the idea of Pacifica and Dipper hanging out and him telling her that he's trans and Pacifica just kinda goes "you can do that? But then why doesn't everyone? Being a girl kinda sucks - there's girl drama and dresses and girl puberty and all that stuff. Everyone would be a guy if they could" and Dipper gives her The Look and says "Pacifica Northwest, that is the most trans thing I have ever heard".
In conclusion, I headcanon trans masculine Pacifica Northwest. Still workshopping a chosen name for him but I do, and I love him. It's all silly fun headcanoning a children's cartoon character as trans and it hurts no one. And it doesn't even affect a lot of the things I'll do. I have one fic that will hint at it and one that will treat it as the main center of the story planned. (It will be a part of my AU but not a major part and I'm also playing with the thought of gender-fluid Pacifica for Divine Falls. It's entirely ignorable and will not affect anything related to the main AU's plot.)
Yes I referred to Pacifica as she/her for most of this essay but it was referring to a pre-realization Pacifica who isn't out yet and thus would convince herself that she was uncomfortable with he/him pronouns and therefore calling them he/him would be wrong until he came out.
#wow this was long#for something kinda stupid#screaming out of the abyss#gravity falls#transmasc#transgender#trans boy#headcanon#essay#no one was expecting this#least of all me#trans pacifica northwest
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