#AND I HABW TRIED SO HARD TO PREVENT THIS
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I SWEAR TO FUCK IF HE DOESNT FUCKING RESPOND THOUGH
#this is time sensitive as the first question I had is if I wake up too sick to come in can I do the quiz from home?#school#I don’t know how long I can do this#with my parents I feel so alone#and I wouldn’t be any better alone but I���d also be in a lot of debt#like for the next week if you are not helping me you are hindering me#and my usual coping of Whatever Gets You Through It is a bit expensive for the fun things I have coming up…#shattered fragments#AND I KNOW SOME OF THIS IS MY OWN FUCKING FAULT#AND I HABW TRIED SO HARD TO PREVENT THIS#but sometimes shit happens#parents get sick you have to take over everything you get NO FMLA unless someone dies and you have a few mental health crises#that I’m STILL hesitant to call crises#there’s only been one time where I was 🤏 this close to checking myself into the hospital but I didn’t bc of what I’ve heard of MH stays here#instead I attended the conference I was supposed to (the timing was perfect. I’d skip and have my 72 hours and none of my family would know)#and I got to spend time with one of my most beloved friends#I don’t run (also makes me suicidal) and it would’ve been nice to have been able to support and join my friend when she needed to run home#for something imperative#but I was also too young to drive the rental car despite having a full license#and if I recall correctly we were drinking#I think this is the night I joined the men for whiskey (neat)#(I didn’t like it)#why can we not just learn things without the pressure of deadlines 😩#the joy of learning vs the horrifying reality of being alive#still awaiting for craft trades apprenticeships that I can afford to take to open up (preferably in my area)#(but how long can my body hold up to do that?)
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