#AND FRESHLY DIVORCED !

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[p4nishers]

do u think once after the beach divorce erik and raven were drunkenly talking shit abt their exes and she turned into charles to fuck w erik and erik was immediately on the verge of passing out shaking and panting like a dog from the sight of charles alone and she was like damn girl nvm and never did that shit again

[mblue-art]

Strawberry nightmare in that milk man outfit makes him look like funking Francis from That's Not My Neighbor

won't you let him in..?

[luciferslatte]

📻🍎 "A Real Date" - Part 3.

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[pnfc]

Your art got me back to rewatching pnf! Both are so good! Hot take, but Major monogram is a hypocrit. Dude sees a man buying thousands of laserpointers, and calls it evil. He really should respect the autism of that move.

great point well said. maybe it's because mono is one of the rare few allistic pnf characters. he's so funny, i love him -- i'm desperately hoping he gets divorced next season. that's the only thing i want

[radarchives]

[cuntstable]

finally fighting godfrey in game and its such a good fight but like i cant stop laughing at the fact that fromsoft really genuinely put a bara gilf into the game…… like hes tits out sweating and everything. also laughing bc his phase transition is literally just him failing all his centuries worth of anger managment training and immediately killing his emotional support cat as a result

[mrmarielda]

aria meets a fan....

Ali (as Aria)[extremely awkward]: So yeah! If you just follow me on, um... [pained laugh]

Austin (as a fan)[confused]: I can't-- We can't-- But once we go inside, we can't access the mesh. How am i gonna know... Also I follow you already, you haven't posted anything about a secret show! Unless, do you have like a secret account i can follow?

Ali (as Aria): Right! Yeah, it's no longer @AriaJoieOfficial [bursts into laughter]

Austin (as the fan) [intrigued]: Ooooooh?!

[Keith and Ali laughing in the background]

Art: This is like one of those Instagram scams, except that the actual person is telling you to your face!

Austin (as the fan): What? It's no--

Keith [interrupting]: You've actually gotta sign up to my Whatsapp.

Austin (as the fan): It's NOT @AriaJoieOfficial? But Aria Joie Official still posts?

Ali (as Aria): Well, yes! Right! Right! It's, like, um, exclusive!

Austin (as the fan) [intrigued again]: Ooh! What's the-- What's the account name?

[Ali takes a deep breath]

Ali (as Aria): Um. Um. It's Aria Joie, but the As are fours.

Austin (as the fan) [palpably disappointed]: Oh. [Forcing themself to sound excited] Okay! I'll look it up!

Keith: This has gotta be, at this point, this person's like, "Someone has gotten plastic surgery to look like Aria Joie.

Austin: This is exactly it.

[Ali laughs]

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: The camera looks down and sees how many-- So the camera looks at their phone, or their interface, right, 'cause they're not looking at their phone. They have, like, you know, digital eyes, or whatever. Robot eyes. And they're looking at the, uh, screen. And we saw the Aria Joie account that has, like, three trillion subscribers, or whatever. But then it shows the Fouria Four-Foie account.

[All laughing]

Austin: How many subscribers do you have? [long pause as Ali thinks] 'Cause it ain't trillions!

Keith: It's--

Ali: It's not a trillion! But it's-- Is it-- [starts to say a number but quickly changes her mind]

Keith: Can I tell you my first thought was 334.

[cross-talking]

Austin: Yeah! I think it's NOT many!

Ali: 334! Okay! I was-- I was like-- What's the--

Keith: I think it can be whatever you want it to be, but that was my what's the funniest low number of followers? 334.

Ali: I didn't know if, like, 26 or, like, 300 was it. Because it's like are there only-- Is this the only people she's spoken to, like, on COUNTER/Weight so far? Or is it, presumably, somebody who googled Aria and accidentally, like, pressed on her.

Austin: No, you did not. No. You did not get the SEO at all. There's no fucking way.

Ali: There's stans, there's a reddit, you know!

[crosstalk]

Keith: For Fouria Joie?

Austin: There are Aria Joie RP accounts that have more followers than you!

Ali: Right.

Keith: Right.

Ali: Well, yes. Yeah. Uh-huh.

[Austin laughs]

Austin: I think it's low. I think 300's probably right.

Ali: 300 is... yeah.

Austin: And I think that they just go--

Austin (as fan)[weirded out] : Very exclusive!

Ali (as Aria): Well, yeah! I--It's, um. I'm just reaching out to the people on COUNTER/Weight right now.

Austin (as fan)[dismissive]: Okay.

Ali (as Aria): Are you just visiting? Or are you from the...

Austin (as fan): Yeah? Im-- Y-yeah. Mhm. I'm visiting. Yeah.

Keith: Oh my god. Now it's this person that's trying to get away.

Austin: Yeah. Uh-huh! Exactly.

[All laughing]

Art: Let's see where this person goes to get away, we'll follow them in.

Keith: Oh my god.

Austin (as fan): I have some-- Oh, you know, it was so good to meet you. I'm gonna tell all my friends. But I'm--

Ali (as Aria) [interrupting]: Is this your first time to the Sill?

Austin (as fan): Yeah, I haven't been here-- In fact, I have to go take a call. For Work. Uh. If that's okay. Sorry.

Ali (as Aria): Oh, I understand! Yeah!

Austin (as fan): Big fan! I love... all the songs.

Ali (as Aria): Do you wanna take a picture?

Austin (as fan): No.

[Ali laughs]

Austin (as fan): I don't wanna, uh.

[Art and Ali laughing]

Austin (as fan): I couldn't post it anywhere. 'Cause I don't wanna give away the exclusive part!

Ali (as Aria): Oh, no, you could!

Art: You should fuckin' play a show when this is over just to mess with this person.

Ali (as Aria): It's like, submersive, you know?

Austin (as fan): It's submersive?

Ali (as Aria): It's like unscheduled.

Austin (as fan): Like it goes under water?

Keith: Underwater!

[All laugh]

Keith: Canonical.

Austin: Ca-nautical!

[beat of quiet and then everyone laughs]

Art: Heeeyyyy!

Keith [laughing]: Ca-nautical!

Austin (as fan): Yeah, we could. We could take a picture. You wanna? Come over-- We could take a picture.

Austin: And they're wait for YOU to come over to them.

[All laugh]

Austin: And they're doing--

Jack [interrupting]: This is the most busted Aria Joie interaction, and we did a full series of...

Austin: They're doing-- They're making-- They're standing in such a way that you're hover-handing!

[Ali and Jack laugh]

Keith: Um. Mako is very loudly sipping on the end of... You know when you're done with a soda and you can [imitates the sound of sipping through a straw from an empty cup]. Like, this is the noise I've been making for like twelve seconds.

Austin: We're back, baybey!!!

[itsallmadonnasfault]

No one understands transformation better than Madonna. The music icon, who turns 63 today, forged a symbiotic relationship with the fashion community the moment she burst onto the scene in the ’80s, setting trends and playing muse to countless designers. Her ability to switch hair colors, styles, and personas has made her one of the most influential performers of all time. An inescapable presence since her “Material Girl” days, she has inspired collections by Jean Paul Gaultier, Anna Sui, and more; starred in ads for the biggest brands; and created a template that pop successors utilize to this day. Before the world was charting Rihanna’s every wardrobe change or chronicling Miley Cyrus’s progression from good girl to provocateur, Madonna was evolving with each album, turning her music videos—“Vogue,” anyone?—into showcases for the best of the industry’s talent.

[choices-binglebonkus]

Okay but the Choices book release patterns are so fucking funny to me. It literally went like

-A slew of marriage books

-A slew of baby/parental books

-A slew of infidelity books

Like PB writers are y’all good? Did somebody rush into a marriage and regret it?

[wreniverse]

reading lance’s low heart marriage and divorce dialogue

[softquietsteadylove]

Hey could I ask for a Thenamesh human au were Thena is raising her little sisters (Sersi and Sprite) after their parents die and Gilgamesh is her co-worker who finds her having a mini breakdown and comforts her? Kinda slow burn-ish and no smut if possible

"Sorry!"

Thena pressed even harder on her eyebrows, sure she would get bruises from it. Maybe then she might actually get medical clearance for time off. "It's fine."

"I didn't mean-"

"It's fine!" she snapped at him again, shifting to swipe at the corners of her eyes and wipe the tears onto her fingertips and then on the sleeves of her cardigan. "I was just...looking for something."

But all she heard was the door shutting gently.

Thena sighed, picking her head up and looking around the shelves. All that was in here was extra paper and printer ink. "Gil, I'm fine."

Gil was sweet, if a little too sweet. He went out of his way for people, which their firm really discouraged. But he was going into family law, which was easy to tell from the 'everything' about him.

"Yeah, I just, uh," she heard him shuffle around before finally turning to glare at him. Her glower was usually strong enough to scare away anyone else. He pointed at the shelf of toner. "Printer."

She closed her eyes, feeling the throbbing in her head from her coffee and the twitch in her eyes from her need for sleep. But they had a lot of contracts to examine, and Sersi was in the middle of the soccer season, which meant she didn't even get home until 6, which pushed dinner to 7 and that said nothing about homework and getting Sprite to bed at a decent hour.

"Um," Gilgamesh gulped, tugging at the suit he was wearing. It was standard attire for the firm, of course, but she always imagined he had a hard time finding suits to really fit him. Perhaps he needed shirts and Jackets in one fitting and trousers in a smaller one. "How was Sersi's game?"

She whipped her head up at him, and she must have looked ready for murder by the way he flinched. "What?"

He went stiff as a board, practically pressing his back to the door. "S-Sersi--your sister, you said she had a soccer game on friday. H-How did it go...if that's okay."

Right, friday; she had rushed home from work, still with half a day's work to complete, picked up Sprite, gotten her not to gripe all through grocery shopping, bundled her up for Sersi's game, which was a loss, and it was a hard loss, and Sersi got a few scrapes and bruises, so then they were both a little cranky for the start of the weekend, and of course that meant she didn't actually get any work done-

"Thena?"

She blinked, feeling as if she had gone somewhere else entirely. This was getting ridiculous. She just needed coffee, she reasoned. Even more coffee. She shook her head.

"Hey," he whispered, not moving from the door to let her out, despite her moving closer. "Are you okay? I know you're...I know you've got a lot on your plate."

A lot on her plate? She had that already with this job and the beginnings of her career. Her student debt alone would be more than a full plate.

That was before handling a joint funeral, and counselling for her sisters, and getting them back to school, and a full year of them not being themselves. And then, when they finally seem to be getting better, both of them start having the worst time with school in their lives.

Or maybe their mother was just better at dealing with it than Thena could say for herself. And while their father wasn't exactly her favourite person, let alone parent, her first year of filing her taxes with two dependants was enough for her to look into a decent accountant for this year.

"Listen, I know you've got this under control," Gil continued, visibly worried about saying the wrong thing. "I know you're tougher than I could ever imagine."

She really didn't know about that.

"But if you need--I mean, if you ever want a hand with anything, or even just logistics, or carpooling or something," he suggested, losing confidence with every new idea. His massive shoulders drooped and he gave her those big, sad puppy dog eyes that always got him the best desk and the best cases and the best lunch, "just let me know, y'know?"

Thena gulped. Heat rose up in her as the horror of her tears resurfaced. She was done crying. It was the middle of the work day. She didn't have time for this. This had never been an issue before.

Can we have lasagne?

Just that simple text from Sprite had set her off. Because Sprite loved lasagne--she loved their mother's lasagne. And for an entire year Sprite couldn't even stand hearing the word, let alone the sight of it. And to have her ask for it, when they all knew that Thena was somehow the worst cook of all three of them.

Gil blinked as Thena dropped her head, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her hand over her eyebrows again. His hands hovered around her, never crossing the last few inches of boundary she held.

Thena was just as shocked as she leaned froward and her forehead met something firm. But she couldn't choke it all back, a squeak escaping her as her tears dropped to the musty old storage closet carpet below.

"Hey," he whispered soothingly. Of course the bastard was great at comforting people too. Why wouldn't he be? Why wouldn't he be so completely perfect? "It'll be okay."

She usually hated when people spoke so certainly. Because what did they know? What assurance did they have? But Gil meant well. He only ever meant well. Her breathing slowed and she realised she was truly letting him embrace her. What an unfortunate turn this had taken. But he was warm, and he smelled nice. And it felt nice when he rubbed her back.

Gil let her pull away, not making a grand affair out of the whole thing. He brushed away a few more tears of hers, "you okay?"

She nodded. She was far, far from it. But she could probably get through the rest of the work day without humiliating herself further. Her throat felt dry as a bone. "Thank you."

Gil tilted his head at her. He did give off the first impression that he would be some meathead, into his own looks and loud and brash and hypermasculine. But he was kind, he was considerate of others and his good nature only made him more sensitive to those around him. "I mean it, Thena, if there's anything you need at all."

He was one of only a few who even knew about her sisters. She didn't really go around announcing her past, and she wasn't one for keeping precious personal keepsakes on her desk either. But Gil had once seen her phone light up with a notification and asked who the girls on her lockscreen were.

And as much as she could have told him to mind his own business - and he would have, knowing him - it seemed worse to ignore it. So she had told him about her sisters, and how she had basically acquired them as children, as far as the state was concerned.

The biggest advantage to Gilgamesh knowing about her duties outside the office was that he was her biggest defender whenever she couldn't make events outside of work. Of course a lot of deals happened out of the office as well as in, and being able to seal those deals came with the job. But Gil always had an excuse ready for her when she couldn't join them for drinks after work, or make a round of golf or two on sunday morning.

He smiled as she finally picked her head up. "There she is."

She chose to ignore that. She sniffled, dabbing at her eyes again. If anyone asked her if she was okay once she stepped out of this closet, she might commit an act worthy of termination. "Thanks."

"Any time," he shrugged. He still didn't leave. "I saw you get up from your desk. I thought-"

Silence came over him, perhaps at the admission that he had all but followed her here. Any other coworker and she would have her keys in her hand and a knife with his car's name on it. But only Gilgamesh could say something like that and have it be just as innocent as he meant it.

"Sorry," he concluded, having discouraged himself yet again. He blushed.

She truly was a bitch of epic proportions to inspire this level of fear from the sweetest man alive, she gathered. Usually that wasn't a problem, of course, but just this once: it was undeserved. "That's nice of you, Gil."

That seemed to surprise him even more than walking in on her crying in the closet.

She finally reached for the doorknob, and Gil nearly leapt out of her way. She headed back to her desk, with the same papers in hand as when she had first gone in. At least at her desk, she could take a breath. Her computer was still open on emails, she set the papers beside her.

Of course

She replied to Sprite, although if she got more texts she was just going to tell her not to text in class.

If her sister wanted lasagne, then she would find a way to make it happen. Affection was not her most polished skill, but love needed no polishing. If her baby sister wanted lasagne, she would have it.

If only she weren't a horrendously bad cook.

Sersi was decent, but she only ever let her help when Sersi herself seemed eager to do so, and that was usually on weekends. And Ajak was an excellent cook. Her handwritten recipes alone would not help Thena actually produce the promised product.

Thena picked up her phone again. She scrolled until she could select the contact in her phone. Perhaps it was silly to text him when his desk was in sight of hers. She was just in a closet with the man. But she selected his name and typed.

Can you make lasagne?

[pleafyistired]

so no one else just have their adhd decide to fixate on duck detective except me huh

[seagull-scribbles]

£5 Ko-Fi sketch commission for @naivesilver, thank you for the donation ☕️ 💕

[itsyagurlchip]

its a sad day 😢

500 notes and ill drop the divorce papers 😛✌🏾✌🏾

[noirtek]

will never get over the fact that all of hoffman’s traps in saw iv had to do with violence against women and girls which ties in so perfectly with angelina’s murder. Gouges My eyes out