#AMD IM MAKIN PLANS WITH FRIENDS TO GO SEE HIM WHEN HE COMES TO TOWN AUAUAUA

[steampunkedparm]

ttc used to mean summer afternoons wrapped in your arms.

It was the confused teenage idea of love and safety,

giggling suggestions and over the top gestures,

far too big ideas and far too many rushed proclamations.

ttc used to mean 3 years of of trying to get over the feeling of your hands rotten on my skin.

ttc used to feel empty and cold,

i wanted to peel layer and layer of flesh until my bones were colder than the feeling you left,

that dripping wet anxiety like ice

on the precipice of my spine the same way your violating fingers traced skin that wasn't yours to begin with 

ttc doesn't just mean i hate you with every god dman fiber in my being.

ttc is the conjoined excitement of a shared experience rife with love and energy.

its the potential trip to Chicago 

its a first time experience with a friend i would kill gods for

It's 5 years of pent up catharsis-

the closest thing I will ever get to punching you in the face.

ttc means I didn't just survive.

I'm fucking thriving. 

rot in hell