#ALSO. its. so fucking weird to me that im considered a monster high account in the eyes of other fans.

[nixotinix]

OK UHHHH so I might've decided in a fever dream state that I wanted to draw (most) Gen 1 Ghouls in their signature outfits. I wrote down them all and there's. So many. This is TECHNICALLY part 3??? Since I drew Batsy for that one post, and then Nef, Luna, and Gooliope for a diff one. I've been picking them at random in batches of 3 so UH part 3 of drawing (almost) every Monster High Generation One Ghoulie!!

For this post, I've done Jane Boolittle, Catty Noir, and Scarah Screams!! (I sincerely apologize for inconsistent lighting my lamp is WACK)

And some close-ups for each!

I'm p happy with how these came out ngl :3 I've already started work on the next batch, I think you guys will like it! For now tho, sorry about the radio silence, and enjoy the art!

[smalltragedy]

* natalia dyer, nonbinary + she/they | you know philomena carmichael, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a day? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the leanover by life without buildings like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole wind whipping around your hair, the gentleness of decomposition, a naked blur dancing around the flames of an everlasting fire thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is april 20th, so they’re a taurus, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hi thank u all fr being so patient w me as i rapidly switch out muses n figure out wht the fuck im doing atm <3 also sry fr my rare presence work hs been kicking my ass like lets jst say i deserve 2 b smbdy’s housewife (misogny wins this time sry) so i nvr hv to work in my life <3 DFSLKSDHKGLFSHLKAGHLKAHLKSG this is a joke 2 clarify. anyways. this is philly she’s old bt she’s one of my very favorites ever. this intro is also old sry its nt in my usual. style. LKDFKHGLKGF

CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION, DEATH, GRAPHIC MENTION OF DECAY, INSECTS MENTION TW.

mini playlist.

the girl who stole my tamagotchi ;; hot sugar / i dropped out ;; and the kids / pork soda ;; glass animals / wonderfully bizarre ;; bendigo fletcher / (dream) ;; salvia palth / alien blues ;; yundabar / dust in your pocket ;; glass animals / warm honey ;; willow / bela lugosi’s dead ;; bauhaus / gecgecgec ;; 100 gecs / blinding ;; florence and the machine / nantes ;; beirut / cherry-coloured funk ;; cocteau twins / not allowed ;; tv girl / oblivion ;; grimes / space song ;; beach house / dog food ;; 100 gecs / the leanover life ;; life without buildings.

statistics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, mena, etc.

birthday: april 20th, 2000. 

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, aries ascending.

mbti & temperament: infp & improvisor / phlegmatic. 

label: the halycon.

sexuality: demisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

cancer tw // it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long. end of cancer tw //

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

depersonalization / derealization tw // it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs. depersonalization / derealization end of tw //

death, decay. maggots tw // there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot. end of death, decay, maggots tw //

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

after ending up with warrants from their arrest in florida (after running from the law in texas), philly and elektra have wound up at irving <3 partially hiding from the law and partially bcos their trusty van’s broken down and they haven’t got the money to fix her up yet. 

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon.

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been.

currently living in florence, their van, with her sister elektra <3 currently residing in lilac ridge.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. (smirks at leo)

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her (besides elektra).

has a certain knack for getting animals to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay.

wanted plots.

speaking through my third eye ... ;; philly is new in town n shes very strange. constantly lives in a state in which she does not exist (at least on the same plane). this is her harassing the locals. this is her slipping thru their fingertips as they attempt 2 understand her. they get close smtms bt philly jst. whisks herself away.

hollows of our eyelids ... ;; perhaps there is smbdy jst as strange as philly. i’m out here calling fr all the weirdos. lets be friends. lets hv philly n co go on adventures n discover horrible sites n uncover ancient secrets tht lie deep below irving. mayb nt tht. bt im jst saying. this is fr the dreamers. da weirdos. the jugheads. LHKDSHFSADLKGFHLSKADG fr those who also feel as if they r not real.

bills n aches n blues... ;; ya this is my call fr all negative plots. bills (catching philly be a thief and a fraud), aches (mayb heartache? unrecruited feelings or w/e theyre called?), n blues (ooooh so sad... so sad ... angst ...) obviously i am a genius. i wldnt say tht philly is here 2 make enemies bc philly doesnt care much abt ppl bt perhaps tht cld b an issue. tht she doesnt care much abt others. mayb ur muse is jst like. cn u pls care. n philly is like. i am incapable. sry. sucks.

n also ,, ;; like. anything i’ll. take anything. philly is weird lets come up w surreal plots tht verge on the edge of like. nt being correct fr this verse. suddenly theres vampires? or so they think ... smirks. anyways. shes been 2 jail n been in the circus (shoutout 2 kirby) n dances naked in the woods n hoards animals n treasures. we hv a lot to work with here obv. 

[sehxnismylover-blog]

my adventures of being an anti to being the biggest stan of EXO

Hey ~ this post isn’t really a need-to-read blog but if you do read it then thank you. Since EXO’s 5th year anniversary is coming soon, I just wanted to share how much I fucking hated the whole genre KPOP itself and how EXO like legit changed my life. cheesy af but bear with me it’s a good story i tell ya, or so I think lol.

I haven’t been a kpop fan for long, but since I’ve been exposed to kpop since I was a kid I grew up listening to a few selected kpop songs which are from the groups every kpop stan should know about. I’m from the Philippines, and I’m still a junior in high school ~ ever since I was a kid me and my elder sister (who also legit turned into a kpop fan herself because of me // both of us were antis before) always tuned in on MTV because music is just the world to us. Back then, I was the biggest brat for One Direction ever since they debuted. So me and my sis would always tune in on MTV to see them, but since it was MTV Asia, ofc they would show groups from all over Asia. That’s when I saw all legends and the biggest hits on kpop  like SNSD, 2NE1, 2PM, BIGBANG, SUJU, WONDER GIRLS, PSY, and EXO themselves. 

Since EXO was already a big hit during the Wolf era, that was the very first time I saw them on TV and I sure as hell hated them the first time I saw them. I was all like, “Ugh, they’re disgusting” and “Why do they even exist” during that time ~keep in mind this was 2012 ~ I tried to let myself watch them but they never just grew on me that time, like ever. And so at school, my classmates were already aware of this rising kpop group EXO, and I could always hear the name Luhan and Chanyeol. I can never forget how much of a fangirl my friend was to them and I was always glaring at them for liking those types of music and bands since I was a hardcore Directioner during that time. 

It wasn’t long since Growl was released, and it became a really huge hit here in the Philippines! I swear to God I remember always hearing the song in malls, in public markets, in stores, in the sidewalks and basically just everywhere! I began to hear more about this group but just ignored it since kpop just really wasn’t my style back then. I saw them around tv, on the news, newspapers and magazines and they just legit boomed during that time. My classmates went really crazy for them and I was still like, “Meh, those idiots aren’t even as famous as One Direction”. 

Then came Overdose and EXO boomed even more but I still ignored. I saw them on TV when they had their first concert on Manila, they were on the headlines for singing a very famous filipino song called “Hawak Kamay” and was praised a lot by people and impressed some elders for that. ugh such an iconic time says my exo-l self who missed a lot during that time

Tons and tons and TONS of EXO merchandise were around the Philippines and everyone I see was always wearing them! Although some were not aware of who EXO was, the name EXO and the members numbers were a big fashion hit here in the Philippines. I always saw WOLF 88 printed on their shirts, some with the other members numbers and printed names like shit they still are a big fashion hit here in the Philippines until now. 

Moving on, I didn’t hear much about EXO during the Call Me Baby era but I still saw them on tv and online. I kind of faded away from 1D since Zayn left lmao lol iconic time but I still liked the band and their music and all. After I faded away from 1D I was addicted to anime and became an animaniac lol. This isn’t much of an important part of my story so I’ll fast forward.

Fast forward to when I was like in the middle of high school, I have a friend who was a kpop fan since 3rd grade according to what she said, and as I’ve mentioned, ever since before I used to listen to a few kpop songs and I forgot how but I did discover Jay Park on tv and then listened to his music and had a huge crush on him for about 2 years before I became a kpop fan (i still listen to him now i luv his music) and then I listened to some of Taeyang’s music (ofc Eyes,Nose, Lips), with which I had no idea was part of legit the biggest kpop band in the world until I was tempted to listen to some BB songs and secretly listened to Growl when my sister wasn’t watching lmao because who doesn’t like that song???, So back to my point, my friend whom I never knew was a die-hard kpop fan since 3rd grade, was always silent since understandably not much of my friends were kpop fans when I first entered high school.  

This part is for me, a hilariously pathetic excuse since this is the time I started being a kpop fan: 

It was when we were tackling about the Music of Korea in class, our book had SNSD, Red Velvet, SUJU, 2NE1, and Wonder Girls and had a fun fact part about Dara since she’s called the Pambansang Krung-Krung (”krung krung” is a filipino slang which means foolish weird or crazy and “pambansang” meaning national so she’s legit called the National Weirdo of the Philippines lmao nothing offensive btw dont take it srsly) here in the PH. So after our class, our teacher told us to prepare a dance or a song in korean and put us in groups and I was a group leader since, not to brag, I’m pretty good at singing lmao, I got a little excited over the thought that we would probably sing Eyes Nose Lips or dance Growl and Fantastic Baby like that was already awesome for me. I had a friend who was really good at dancing so I assigned her to help out learning the choreo with me and I searched for what we were gonna present. I ended up choosing Come Back Home by 2ne1, EXO’s Growl and Good Boy by GD and TY. We didn’t have much time for practicing so we just dropped Growl and mashed up Good Boy and Come Back Home. 

But while we were practicing our dance, we considered Growl and I downloaded the dance practices for our chosen songs, me and my group watched the choreos carefully and guess what? While watching the Growl dance practice, I suddenly felt weird while watching this EXO member I never noticed before. I asked my kpop friend about it, and I eventually found out this little cute boy was Baekhyun. He wasn’t my bias though, my first EXO bias was Tao but after I found out there were 3 members who left the group and Tao was one of them, I became sad. Tao wasn’t my ub tho. 

After our presentations in class, when I got home I suddenly itched to search for EXO some more. I mean it wouldn’t hurt to know about them right? And so I searched and started watching interviews and watched EXO Showtime since people had recommended that watching that would be a good start for a new fan. I din’t watch all the ep’s of EXO Showtime but I did watch the famous episodes of the show, including the last EP which was when I suddenly fell head over heels for the fucking maknae Oh Sehun. 

After that, Sehun just became my universal bias, and then I watched Monster and fell in love, and then I became their biggest fan after just one month. Always keeping up with updates, following all the members who had IG accounts, and officially became an EXO-L just when I celebrated with other EXO-L’s online during Yixing’s birthday last year when What U Need? MV came out and then eventually Yixing became my biggest bias wrecker ever. 

I’ve only been an EXO-L for seven months, but I have memorized almost every lyric of all their albums and have downloaded every album on my phone. I know all their birthdays and their facts and their ideal types and I’ve memorized some choreos of their songs, I havent’t met them yet but I’m positive to see them before Xiumin’s military enlistment this 2019. 

I’ve realized there’s nothing wrong with trying something new out, EXO became a big inspiration for my life, they made me change into a more hard working person. Because of them I actually considered not giving up my dreams of becoming a singer and because of them I actually learned to appreciate dancing lmao. They’ve helped me into focusing on my studies and suprisingly my grades went higher ever since I entered a new life of being a kpop fan.

I explored kpop a bit more after becoming an EXO-L, I also joined the BTS Army fandom shortly after becoming an EXO-L and after seven months of being a kpop fan I legit stan a lot of groups and singers now. I’m a multifandom girl now even tho EXO is my bias group.

I stan BTS, Seventeen, NCT, KARD, 2NE1, BIGBANG, BLACKPINK, DEAN, Red Velvet, GOT7, Jay Park and Heize. I know almost 500 kpop groups and I know a lot about the history of kpop and I know how to speak average Korean now and its only been seven months lol.

Anyways, that ends my long post lol. Cheers to you if you finished reading this. EXO SARANGHAJA! EXO AND EXO-L FIGHTING! Cheers to 5 years with our beloved idols! 

(IM LEGIT SO EXCITED FOR THEIR NEW COMEBACK OMF BYE)