#ALSO title from 'canary' by joy williams

[dxppercxdxver]

day four!! of bweirdOCtober!! underappreciated oc day!!! wrote a little ficlet about gertrude, our favorite kittycat who is the worst in the world to look at and touch and be in the presence of generally

steep road, high and weary

The foul creature enters their lives when his incorrigibly curious sister pulls it from a bag of grain in the train car they’ve stowed away in.

When Aoife first presents the thing to him, Brendan thinks she’s somehow caught and plucked a chicken from a nearby farm, if not for the fact that the train hasn’t slowed for hours and he simply cannot fathom why in the world she would do such a thing. Upon closer inspection, however, the wretch wriggling about in Aoife’s iron grip is some sort of cat. It blinks up at him with big, watery eyes, set in wrinkled pink skin stretched over the protruding bones of its tiny skull.

“María,” he says gently, watching the mangy kitten squirm and mewl pathetically, “what have you got there?”

“Kitty!”

Brendan forces a smile that he fears Aoife will recognize as a grimace, and turns to Isaiah for help. Of course, he’s buried in whatever book he’s read cover to cover since they left Louisiana, hardly batting an eye when Aoife runs up to him and plops her finding in his lap. The poor animal merely turns its nose up, disgruntled, before burrowing into the lining of Isaiah’s waistcoat, sticking its sniffly nose out into the dusty air.

Despite the sudden intrusion, Isaiah merely sniffs, turning the page. The gargoyle tucked in his clothing hisses.

Sighing, Brendan pinches his nose, desperately looking for a place to gently usher the kitten out of the train car (and presumably to its death) whenever Aoife isn’t looking. Of course, his sister is coddling it, prodding at its paws and tail and whatever else of it doesn’t fit inside the folds of Isaiah’s clothing. She coos at it like it’s her own child, dropping whatever detritus she can find on the floor in front of it, coaxing it out. Isaiah raises an eyebrow at the dead plants and rocks piled up on his stomach, but when Aoife looks up at him, he ruffles her hair and goes back to his book.

“Darling,” Brendan says quietly, settling in on the other side of Isaiah, “we can’t take it with us. We barely have enough to feed ourselves, let alone a… kitten.”

At his words, the creature pokes its nose out of its hiding place, expression somehow reproachful. Needle-thin kitten teeth are bared, and its abnormally large pupils are blown wide. For a moment, Brendan has half a mind to snatch the thing from its nest and hurl it from the train in one fell swoop, but he could hardly bear to see Aoife heartbroken, and as much as the miserable critter sends a chill down his spine, needless cruelty has never suited him. Instead, he waves at the kitten, hesitant, and it snarls.

“Let the girl have her,” Isaiah murmurs, turning another page.

“But—”

“Oh, please?” Aoife is pleading now, clutching Isaiah’s leg, and both she and the cat turn their owlish gazes on Brendan. He knows Aoife well, knows that expression means tears are soon to follow, and after ripping her from their home for strange horizons, he doesn’t have it in him to take this one thing away from her.

“Alright,” he relents, and Aoife cheers, scooping up her new charge and twirling it over her head.

“Did you hear that, Gertie?” she beams. “You’re going to be my best friend forever and ever!”

Brendan cocks his head.

“Gertie?”

“This is Gertrude,” Aoife explains in a way that doesn’t really explain anything, too busy affixing a ribbon from her dress around the creature’s–Gertrude’s–neck. Gertrude looks none too happy to be dressed up as she is, but from what little Brendan has seen of her, he doubts Gertrude looks happy about much of anything.

Leaning against Isaiah’s shoulder, Brendan watches Aoife dote on Gertrude, dragging a piece of straw across the floor that Gertrude bats at with bony paws. The creature looks rather more like roadkill than something flesh and blood, but Aoife is laughing for the first time he’s seen since they left the coast. He closes his eyes, rubbing his cheek against the coarse cotton of Isaiah’s shirt.

“She’ll be alright.” Isaiah’s words are hushed, spoken to the crown of Brendan’s head. And with the rattle of the train beneath them and Aoife’s giggles filling the air, Isaiah’s chest rising and falling against his shoulder, Brendan can almost believe it.

[trash-muse]

Ask Meme: What Would You Know About Love?

WHO: John Constantine, Zatanna and Asmodel @dark-musngs - with special guests Adam Constantine and Lyla Rose WHAT: Ask Meme - [forehead touch] your muse rests their forehead against my muse’s WHERE: Various places WHEN: Various WARNINGS: None. Trying something a little different - with time jumps.

2040 - Star City

“What would you know about love, Constantine?”

The bar was full of rowdy patrons, all drinking their fill and creating a constant hum of noise so loud that one could barely hear themselves think. But Adam Constantine heard the woman sitting across from him just fine. She eyeballed him impatiently, lips pursed ready to demand an answer.

Lyla Rose was one of Adam’s nearest and dearest friends. She was also quite possibly the bane of his existence. Well, maybe her and his boyfriend were tied for that title. Sorry... ex-boyfriend.

Every time Adam thought things would finally work out, his ex would find some other reason why they couldn’t be together. However, like fools they would fall back into one another again. It was like they were stuck on the old carousel horses. Up, down. Round and round.

But then, it was like his Dad said...

“Love is complicated.”

2020 - Central City

The morning sun streamed through the point where the curtains met, sending a warm beam of light across the bed. Adam stirred, shifting and freeing a hand to try and rub the offending light out of his eyes. It took a few moments, but after opening his bright blue eyes, Adam realised it was morning.

Hopping out of bed, Adam shuffled over to his bedroom door, yawning as he opened it and exited out into the hallway. He could hear voices in the kitchen - the accented baritone of his Daddy’s voice and the slightly lower octave of Azzie’s were easily recognisable. They sounded soft as they chatted away, making breakfast, and Adam knew they hadn’t realised he was awake yet.

He didn’t know what made him stop and watch them for a moment. Why he didn’t just join them with a good morning hug. But with head tilted slightly, Adam paused at the end of the hallway and just watched the private moment between John and Azzie.

“... Zatanna would have stayed if you asked her to.” Azzie seemed to continue an earlier conversation as he brought three plates over to the stove. His Daddy was making bacon and eggs. Adam could smell the delicious smell filling the apartment.

“She has her own place, Az.” John replied, using the spatula to turn the food. He was such a good cook, especially breakfast foods. “And they’ve fixed it up real nice too after what happened. Don’t blame her for going back. It makes this place look utter rubbish.”

“John...” Azzie sounded like he didn’t agree. He put the plates down and moved closer to John, hugging him from behind and resting a chin on his shoulder. Adam had seen them cuddle like that a number of times. He liked to imagine that is wasn’t just Azzie’s arms wrapping around his Daddy but his wings too. Of course, Azzie didn’t have wings in that moment. But if they were there, Adam was sure his imagination was right.

His dad put down the spatula and turned toward Azzie, which Azzie responded to with dropping his head forward and resting his forehead against John’s. It was a tender moment Adam thought nothing of at the time but would later no doubt recall the love between them.

“You love her.” Azzie so low that if Adam hadn’t of crept closer he wouldn’t have been able to hear it.

John sighed and didn’t deny it. But he didn’t exactly admit it either. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?” Azzie didn’t sound like he was going to be convinced. A bit like the time Adam tried to lie and say he had brushed his teeth and he hadn’t. Azzie was very good at picking up on lies.

“Because love is complicated.”

“It’s not with us.” Azzie moved closer still, hands moving over John’s back. In turn, John hooked his arms over Azzie’s shoulders and the food sizzled away in the silent pauses.

“Not now. Hasn’t always been this easy.” His Daddy must have smiled because Azzie smiled back. They kissed gently and hugged tighter, not a gap between them. “Besides, Z doesn’t feel the same.” John jumped back to talking about Zatanna. Adam loved her too and wished she had stayed, but he guessed she wanted to go home. He was allow to visit but it wasn’t the same. “There’s too much that’s happened.”

“What happened?” Adam piped up before he could stop himself. Seeing no point in remaining hidden, he moved out into the kitchen, casting a curious looking in his dad’s direction.

Two sets of eyes shot toward him but Azzie was quicker to recover. “Don’t worry about it, kid.” He said, peeling away from his dad and coming over and picking him up. Adam giggled, he always loved being scooped up and hugged by Azzie. Maybe that’s why his Daddy loved him. Azzie gave the best hugs.

2040 - Star City

“Love is complicated. Love hurts. Blah, blah, you’ve said this all before, Constantine. Still doesn’t explain why you’re holding out for a bloke that won’t commit. That won’t share all his secrets until they show up and punch you in the gut.” Lyla wasn’t giving up and certainly wasn’t taking his answer without further explanation. Adam knew a certain white clad canary that had treated his dad with that same brash demand for less bullshit and more answers.

Adam rubbed a spot just below his ribs, right where his ex’s secret little half sister had punched him and winded him before he could ask her what she was doing in his apartment. His ex’s apartment. Adam didn’t blame her for the reaction. She had thought she was coming to an empty safe house. Adam thought he was surprising his boyfriend by coming home early. It was all a misunderstanding. Still it hurt that his ex had kept a secret sister and hid his involvement in the Canaries movement from him.

But, despite the hurt and the lies, Adam loved him. There would never be a moment he wouldn’t love him. The secrets hurt but Adam understood the reason for them. It was for protection. Still didn’t stop the words he lashed out with in anger. Didn’t stop him from walking out and seeking his best friend to go drown his stupidity and sorrows at the pub.

Maybe it was like what his Mum said...

“Love is forgiveness.”

2021 - Central City

The Van Geld Opera House in Central City wasn’t just host to the opera but a many number of stage performances. It was here the great magician, Zatanna Zatara, wooed her audiences with dazzling illusions and mesmerizing tricks. All eyes were captivated by her performance but none more so than the little blonde boy waiting in the wings.

As the red velvet curtains dropped and the crowd cheered, Zatanna rose from her bow and smiled at the little boy, giving him a wink that sent him scampering off backstage with a giggle. She waved off any stage hands and assistants that approached her with polite gratitude, and followed the sounds of childlike joy back to her dressing room.

“If I had known you wanted to bring Adam to see a show, I would have given you tickets.” Zatanna half scolded the man lounging on the dressing room sofa.

John took the mild chastisement with a smirk and a shrug, not put off that he might have been in trouble. “It was a last minute decision, love. You were all sold out.” He replied, watching Zatanna as she made her way to the vanity and placed her hat on the table.

“Mumma, are you mad?” Adam turned his bright blue eyes toward her, looking like he was ready to apologise for doing something wrong.

Zatanna laughed and shook her head, taking the few short steps back across the room to Adam and crouching to his level. “No, my little one, I could never be mad at you.” She offered a hug which Adam accepted eagerly. He really was a mumma’s boy. “I was just surprised by your visit, that’s all.” She rested her forehead against Adam’s, like she was sharing a secret with him. “Even if I was mad, I’d forgive you. Because love is forgiveness. And I love you so much.”

Adam giggled at the extra squeeze in the hug he was given, completely unaware of the look exchanged between his parents. The one that knew that message of forgiveness ran so much deeper. That if they hadn’t sorted out the complicated between them and forgiven their mistakes - mostly John’s mistakes, but who’s keeping score - then this family moment wouldn’t exist.

John watched the pair with unrestrained love in his eyes. Those before him plus the angel waiting for them back home - it was the family he had been missing and secretly craving all his life. “Besides, you still got a good view of Z pulling a rabbit out of a hat, right kid?” He asked with a chuckle.

“No Daddy!” Adam spoke up, excited once more and speaking a hundred mile a minute. “It was elephants. They were floating then PFFFT... they disappeared.”

“Wow, elephants, really?” John asked his son with the slightly false amazement a parent takes on to share in their wonder.

“Alright, boys. Home time.” Zatanna interrupted before the pair would go off on another tangent. She loved seeing their interactions - fatherhood really suited John - but she didn’t think they’d want to spend all night chatting. It was after Adam’s bedtime, after all.

2040 - Star City

“Love is forgiveness?” There was the ever present scoff in that question. The one that said Lyla thought he was off his rocker. “So what? He lied to you and you’re just going to forgive him?”

“I hope so.” A new voice approached the table.

“Will.” Adam looked up, noting the fact his ex looked more insecure and awkward in that moment then he had ever been in Adam’s presence. And Adam had bared witness to his poor attempts at flirting.

William Clayton stood rocking onto his toes with his hands shoved into his trouser pockets, looking extremely out of place and uncomfortable in the seedy bar. “Can we talk? ... In private.”

Adam nodded and rose from his seat, leading Will outside and into the side alley. They stood there, watching each other for a few moments before suddenly both speaking at the same time.

“I shouldn’t have gone off at you like that.”

“I should have told you from the start.”

Both men chuckled before Adam made a gesture for Will to say his bit first. Will nodded in thanks, wanting to get what he had to say off his chest.

“Adam, I should have told you from the start.” Will repeated, sounding utterly sorry. “I only just found out about Mia recently and thought it was safer to keep as many people in the dark about her as possible. I should have told you about her. I should have told her about you. I just... I was scared. I’ve already lost my family once. I didn’t want to lose it again.” He paused with a sigh, still standing out of arm’s reach. “But all I’ve managed to do is tear it apart anyway."

Adam looked at Will with a somewhat dumbfounded expression. Will, in his roundabout way had just admitted he thought they were family. That level of commitment was light years beyond what Will had expressed before. Maybe Mia had knocked some sense into him as well.

“I really hope you meant what you said about love being forgiveness.” Will continued, finally stepping closer and taking his hand out of his pockets. He reached out, hesitating to take hold of Adam’s hand. “I forgive you. And I love you so much.”

Adam drew in a long breath, unaware he was holding it until he heard those words. It was the first time Will admitted that he loved him. “I forgive you. And I love you too, Will.“ Adam replied, closing the gap between them and pulling Will into a kiss. “Love is complicated. But, I think we can work it out together.”

[austencello]

You have saved this City - Arrow Music Notes 7x22

The season finale concludes the conflict between Oliver and Emiko, the young Team Arrow saves the city in the future finishing with a beautiful and heartbreaking time with Oliver, Felicity, and baby Mia before Oliver leaves to save the universe.

Emiko and Oliver - breaking the cycle

After stopping the bioweapon virus from completely wrecking the city as well as as escaping the police who believed the team was responsible for the terroist attack, Oliver and Emiko have a final confrontation in Palmer Tech, the former Queen Consolidated. Emiko’s strings, percussion and alarm-like electronic sound plays as Oliver arrives: “I’ve been waiting for you.” As they face off, violins play a slow version of the Arrow theme and hammered dulcimer joins in as Oliver tells her that he was angry at her for letting their father die and sending him on a path that included so many losses. The Arrow string patterns and her string and brass motif alternates as they fight each other. His hero horn theme plays as he tells her that her allegiance to the 9th circle killed her mother as did her hatred for their father.  He admits that their father drove her away as a faster version of “I forgot who I was” (1x05) plays in the strings and then he tells her that together they can be better. “I forgot who I was” is the theme for Oliver and his family: Moira, Thea, William and Emiko.  It speaks to the lies and consequences that gave them so much heartbreak but also of the deep love and loyalty Oliver has to his family.  There is nothing more important to him than that.  This theme played in 7x10 as he discovered that his father had another family with Emiko.  Even after Emiko tried to kill him several times, determined to take down the Queen family legacy, he is determined to give her one more chance to redeem herself and turn away from hatred and vengeance, just as he was given that chance.

The 9th circle shows up to kill Oliver and Emiko chooses to fight with him instead of against him.  In the process, she is wounded and as she dies, she apologizes with the background of guitar harmonics (an instrument of Oliver’s since the pilot) admitting that she wanted to be a Queen. He couldn't save her physically but she did have a change of heart, warning him to keep his family safe from the 9th circle.  Oliver’s hero theme plays once more as he escapes the exploding building.

The future legacy

In the future, all the new team members are surrounded by Zeta soldiers and it looks bleak until one of them (Connor) gives Mia a knife and then she fights back as the her electric guitar Blackstar theme plays (first introduced in 7x08). Meanwhile, Zoe saves Rene and William as Dinah’s Canary theme plays.  This is either because Zoe’s is not firmly established or because Zoe is steeping into Dinah’s shoes as the next leader of the Canaries for the new generation.  This seems to fit with the theme of legacy that is present throughout the whole season but especially in this episode as the mantle is passed down.

As the whole team gathers to figure out how to stop Archer and bring the wall down, music from 7x16 (as William and Mia were looking for a tape recorder in black market underground) plays as Felicity mentions that she may have erased Mia from the Archer system giving them an advantage to defeating it.

One of the brilliant editing and storytelling moments was the going back and forth between Oliver and Emiko’s fight (especially with the 9th circle) and then with the younger team Arrow (William, Mia, Zoe, and Connor) as they blow up the wall.  One of the challenges that was well executed was the music going back and forth between the scenes.  The future music sounds have been well established (including string patterns alternating half-steps) as well as Oliver’s fighting music so it was always clear musically as well as visually which story was being told.  As Mia fought on the wall, horn played with string patterns underneath, a heroic sound clearly tying parallels between herself and her father. This horn theme mirrors Oliver’s 2nd hero theme (going down instead up) but Mia’s uses a 4th instead of a 5th making it her own.  Similar but unique.

Another music parallel was using her main theme slower in the high piano for a vulnerable moment as she told William to take care of their mom, believing that she might die before pressing the detonator.  Oliver’s main theme is used in the same way throughout the series so it is a beautiful way of using her main theme which seems brash and fierce in the electric guitar into a quiet, intimate moment in the piano.  Like Oliver, family (and Felicity) is the most important thing to Mia.  Then the full guitar and violin Blackstar theme plays as she fights her way out and zip-lines her way off the building.  (This season nicely established all the necessary music themes needed for next season or a spin-off if they choose to go that route).

The older team passes on the torch to the new team to protect the city and Felicity brings William and Mia to Oliver’s grave to say goodbye, wanting to be all together one last time.  As she does so, the opening strings from “Everyone left” (5x02) plays. It is a theme of loss and goodbyes, first when Oliver felt like he had pushed everyone away except Felicity and now as Felicity recognizes that William and Mia no longer needs her protection and says goodbye.  Mia and William still want her in their lives but she tells them that she promised Oliver that she would protect them until they didn’t need her anymore and she believes that that day has come.  As she shares this and they talk about missing Oliver, harp (Felicity’s instrument) plays as she tells them how proud Oliver would be of them.  Her love for both Oliver and her children kept her strong throughout the 20 years apart.  Oliver’s hero themes play in the violin as Felicity tells them how much she loves them and charges them to take of each other.  Oliver’s heroism is carried through Felicity and their kids: “He lives on in the two of you.” Piano (Oliver’s instrument) plays as they hug and the camera moves over to Oliver’s grave stone alongside his electronic Arrow slide.  

(Picture from telltaletv.com Arrow review)

The End of an Era

The team rejoices in saving the city in the present day and then Oliver and Felicity tell them that they are leaving the city, his legacy being the team, leaving the city in good hands.  His Arrow theme plays in the horn and low strings as he shares that he thought his legacy would be saving the city but was in fact the team.  Hammered dulcimer begins to play as he says that he started his crusade alone and he thought he would end it alone but that every bit of success was due to the team being alongside him with their courage, compassion, selflessness and loyalty (the 4 admirable traits/pillars of heroism in Oliver that Tommy pointed out in the previous episode).  Hammered dulcimer was used in the pilot as Oliver looked at his scars and set up the Foundry alone and has accompanied him on his journey to being a fully fleshed out hero; from being closed off and singleminded to trusting others: Diggle, Felicity, Roy and many others throughout the years.  His team reflects the best part of himself and the violins take over the slow version of the Arrow theme as he shares this and they talk about creating the Mark of Four.  The horns take over and low strings play a repeating pattern building up the music as Diggle mentions that it feels like an end of a era, the music resembling “Not Black or White”(4x23) in feel, paralleling looking over the masks and uniforms together.

Oliver stands in the middle looking over the bunker as Felicity joins him asking if he had second thoughts while clarinet plays.  This instrument is rarely used for the two of them but was used in the previous episode when Alena asked Felicity what she was willing to do differently to keep their baby safe.  It is the sound of a new beginning for their family.  Diggle comes over and tells them that they are leaving behind a cycle and legacy of heroes who will fight for the city with every fiber of their being as Oliver’s hero horn plays 2 in a expanded theme.  The closing of the bunker is accompanied by the classic Arrow title music as the lights shut down focusing on Oliver’s face.

Oliver, Felicity and Diggle arrive at their new home as clarinet and violins play the Olicity theme “The one I love” (2x23).  The clarinet adds a new dimension to their family, the culmination of their love and joy for their baby girl as they tell Diggle about her.  Lower strings play Oliver’s second hero theme as Diggle mentions that now that the city is in good hands, they can focus on their family.  The first time this theme played was in 1x14, the episode when Felicity became part of the team, joining Oliver and Diggle.  It is fitting to have that play with the three of them once again at the end of the team and moving on, having completed their mission. 

The music then transitions to “Being Happy” (1x07) as they say goodbye to Diggle, have a cabin honeymoon looking out over the stars, the birth of Mia and then walking through the yard, with Oliver lifting Mia up.  Using this theme brings several moments back such as 2x06 with Diggle thanking Oliver for helping bring back Lyla: “you had my back.” Now, Diggle has their backs as he helps establish their new home, always a part of their family.  But even more importantly, it brings back a conversation with Tommy in 1x17 when Oliver tells him that lying to the people closest to him was hard but he was wrong to think he could be both the vigilante and be open with people around him.  Tommy told him that if he is alone, he’ll never be happy and Oliver responded that being happy wasn’t what was important.  Oliver never imagined that he would live past his mission let alone be worthy of happiness.  But now he is blissfully happy thanks to the love of his life and the daughter they share which is emphasized by the violins and horn playing a version of the Olicity theme as he holds baby Mia as he sleeps.  Oliver is happy and at peace.

Then the Monitor shows up to collect Oliver from the deal he made in the crossover to save the universe.  As the scene flashes back to their conversation, the Monitor’s violin theme plays and the added choir makes the moment epic in scale as he gives Oliver the option to maintain the balance to save Kara and Barry by agreeing to help the multiverse to survive when it is time. Strings and brass play as the scene returns to present day and a timpani roll leads into the news that the Monitor has seen Oliver die in the upcoming Crisis.  A repeated electronic note (reminded me of Chariots of Fire) accompanies the horns and strings as Felicity tries to stop it asking why it always has to be Oliver.  The repeated note gives a sense of inevitability, no way to stop what is to come.

The episode ends with Ruelle’s song “The other side” giving the season a bookend of Ruelle songs as the season opened with one of her songs, as Felicity and Oliver were separated by a long prison sentence, following Oliver’s lonely and repetitive journey in prison.  Now, the lyrics match the goodbye Oliver has to say to Felicity and Mia, heartbroken and unsure that he will ever come back.  Felicity promises to come find him and 20 years later, the Monitor takes her to find him.

I don't want to know who we are without each other It's just too hard I don't want to leave here without you I don't want to lose part of me Will I recover? That broken piece, let it go and unleash all the feelings I don't want to know what it's like to live without you Don't want to know the other side of a world without you

I don't want to know I don't want to know

Extra Notes

- I cried a lot with this episode.  And then again in writing this review.  It was beautiful and heart-breaking. While I realize there are 10 more episodes, this felt like a series finale.  The rest almost feels like an epilogue to a grand tale of a man who became a hero, who deeply loves his family and his city, who fell in love and grew to accept that he was worthy of happiness.

- My deep dive into Arrow’s music was through Felicity after Season 3.  I wrote a brief thing on Oliver and a little more on Diggle but then I recorded every bit of her music through the first 3 seasons which inspired me to keep writing and analyzing the individual episodes, 4x01 until now.  I loved discovering the use of harp and that her last scene in the official score used that.  I love the Olicity theme with it]s numerous iterations and have even recorded cello and piano versions of it. While I hope that it will appear in the last 10 episodes, I also love that it was played twice as Oliver, Felicity and Mia had a bit of happiness together.  I am going to miss Felicity greatly.

- For some reason, my account cannot find any Mia or future gifs.  It’s weird.

- Sorry for the month delay.  My life has been crazy (sister’s wedding, cello recital, etc.)!  

- I have one or two Arrow music projects I am hoping to accomplish this summer.  I’ll keep you posted!

@smoakmonster @ah-maa-zing @academyofshipping @herskirtsarentthatshort @almondblossomme @dmichellewrites @jorahandal @dust2dust34 @scu11y22 @mel-loves-all @green-arrows-of-karamel