#ALSO there’s a running gag of him having a tummy ache bc of all the stress from the mission

[glitchydyke]

hi hello mj!! can you tell me about loid forger because i am a bit in love with him please and thank you

HI DUSKIE HI!! LOID FORGER MY <333 WORLD

OKAY SO. hes a top spy, the best at what he does, whose codename is twilight !! he works for an organisation called WISE, who are focused on keeping the peace between two places called westalis and ostania. he’s worked at WISE for a rlly long time and has since become infamous within the organisation, bc like i said he’s the BEST spy they’ve got

the show centres around a mission he receives from WISE where, in order to get close to an important person in the ostanian government, he’s told he needs to get a wife (yor) and child (anya) and enroll said child at a school called eden academy, and essentially become the Perfect Family Man :]

and he’s. better at this than he thinks he’s going to be <3 he SUCKS at it at first, like when he first adopts anya he kinda just carries her around like Okay If I Walk Around With The Child That Counts As Parenting Right but then he gets into the swing of it !! and he’s. such a good dad and husband :’)

he’s the most kickass person on the planet and can analyse any information almost instantly, regularly parkours off of buildings, is trained in multiple types of fighting and weaponry,, and he holds his child like a sack of potatoes. reads spy comics with her. pretends to be the voice of her plushie when she’s sad to cheer her up. is so patient with her when she’s learning new things even though it stresses him to no end bc his mission essentially relies on her intellect and performance in school. he also uses WISE money and connections to rent an entire castle and play spy with anya bc she wanted a treat after doing well in school

AND HES SO SWEET W YOR AS WELL !!! yor has a real complex abt not being a good wife because she’s not used to relationships, can’t cook, etc, so she’s constantly worried that she isn’t a good enough wife and loid will resent her for it but he’s just,, so endlessly patient with her, and adores her so much. he thinks she’s so sweet and so cool and he tells her how wonderful she’s doing all while internally telling himself it’s just for the mission as if he’s not head over heels for her

HES JUST. SO GOOD. he’s so full of love and kindness and his entire life he’s dedicated himself to keeping everyone else safe and happy without anyone even knowing he’s doing it, so now that he’s happy it’s like he doesn’t know what to do with it. he’s never had this before. he’s gotten close to people on missions, sure, but never genuinely felt for them. and now here he is with a wife and daughter who he adores with his whole heart and it’s wonderful and terrifying and so he tells himself over and over again it’s just for the mission, he’ll leave them eventually, they’re just a fake family, even though it’s so endlessly obvious he wants them to be forever and is just terrified of admitting it because that would mean he has something to lose, that would mean he’s loved, and he doesn’t know how to be loved at all </3

[emeto-secret-agent]

Yuri Briar emeto headcanons!

Tummy ache

usually doesn't mind stomachaches but has a hard time enduring nausea

totally can and will complain about his tummy ache while torturing someone and building it into his manipulation

lots of discreet belly holding with one hand

he will get extremely pale and sweaty when he's feeling unwell

those are almost the only visible signs that he's sick

will push work until he's sent home after he has thrown up all over the floor, his uniform and is burning up with a fever

'I'm okay' says the man who's visibly swallowing back sick in his mouth

got sick at work more than his supervisors would like to

noisy tummy <33

Vomiting

my man thinks he's so subtle but he heaves hard and loud

it starts with soft hiccups and then he better run for a bucket or the toilet because it happens really fast

unless he's at work he'll move to the bathroom as soon as he feels nauseous so he's quite clean

but at work he'll try to hold it in until the last moment which has its consequences...

will projectile vomit everywhere if he's not in front of the toilet or a bowl

lots of soft grunts between heaves and gags <33

will push on his stomach to get over it sooner

likes to be left alone unless it's Yor

he tends to become whiny if his sister takes care of him

also will call up Yor even for a few minutes if he isn't feeling good for comfort

tries to drink the herbal drinks Yor made for him when they were little but he usually ends up puking it right back into the mug

(pls just take some medicine)

has a 'sick hairband' which he uses if he feels pukey and needs to hold his hair back

prefers the toilet but he isn't picky

he usually holds onto his belly for comfort

he doesn't like nausea but isn't really fazed by the actual vomiting

my man has such a low alcohol tolerance, every time he gets drunk it's almost guaranteed he's going to puke

(his collages learned this in the hard way)

Stomach flu

(yes I'm making this a separate thing bc I can and also stomach flu my beloved)

he likes to work until exhaustion (you little dumb work alcoholic) so it's no wonder he tends to catch a bug or two going around

he hates being nauseous, he hates how it's curling in the pit of his stomach and never letting him feel better, not after being sick

he'd so much rather just get everything up and be over with it

if he's alone he'll just curl up in his bed or in front of his toilet, holding his belly and waiting for the inevitable

if it doesn't happen soon, he'll just include

have I said before that he gets sweaty? - yeah he get's really sweaty

sometimes he'll confuse the nausea sweat with fever sweat which can be bad if he just goes back to bed with an already high temperature

fever + nausea combo really just takes him out

he would be lying in his bed and actively dying

with the paleness and sweat, he can get kinda scary tho,,

also, he'll try to work when he feels a little better, even if it's paperwork from his couch so he takes double the time to get better

somebody, please look after this boy

he's just a sick mess <3

[hangonimevolving]

Attempting some gratitude, for once.

I need to post this, before the thought and the mood from which it’s sprung both dissipate into thin air.

I suck at gratitude, on the whole. Seriously, I do, and I know I need to work on that. I’ll spare everyone my sob stories, explanations, justifications, etc. for why I have had a hard time with gratitude in recent years, but suffice to say - I am aware that I suck at it, and I heard somewhere that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.... so fine. I admit it. I’m ungrateful and unappreciative in my life most days.

But today, I’ve had multiple - MULTIPLE - moments of just feeling this weird, inexplicable, warm and fuzzy, happy, sigh-inducing THING just bubble up in me. And I was like WTF is this feeling?! Why is my tummy all glittery and light? Why am I sitting here on the sofa smiling for no damn reason?! OHHHHH! Wait! Is this.....gratitude?! HOLY SHIT, I think it is! So I’m gonna write it down and note it for all posterity. I, Evolver, have felt gratitude on this 7th day of September, 2018.

It all started last Saturday night, where, right in the middle of Labor Day weekend and my sister Rithers’ visit to our hike in Miami along with her hubby, Uncle K, and her kids H20 and NiNi, our 5.5-year old Vevvy fell ill. We thought that perhaps he was just overly exhausted from a long and happy day in the pool when he felt warm to the touch on Saturday night, but mid-day Sunday, during a beach excursion - Vev’s FAVORITE thing in the world, he completely fell apart, acting listless, fatigued, and not having fun at all. One look at him, standing statuesque on the beach, staring out to sea longingly while tears rolled down his cheeks, said it all: “what is going on?! I’m so confused, mommy! I’m in my favorite place in the world, and yet I feel so miserable! What is happening to me?!” A hand on his forehead revealed that he was burning up. Without a moment’s hesitation, Dr. Spouse loaded him up in the car and headed for home, while I remained at the beach with Dey to host Rithers and co. a while longer. Poor Vev needed a shower, some kiddie Tylenol, and bed rest, stat.

the “I am siiiiick” face :(

Over the next seven - SEVEN! - days, Vev would continue to have relentless fevers or 101-103F even with continuous children’s Tylenol and Motrin. He also developed monster congestion in his sinuses and nose, headaches, body ache, and general fatigue. I was sincerely shocked and more than a little intimidated by his congestion snot (keeping it real), which was so thick and oppressive, it would choke his throat and inhibit his from breathing if he dared to rest in even a semi-reclining position. 

The poor kid had no choice but to be completely upright if he didn’t want to gag on his own phlegm, which meant that he (and by transitive property, I) could really sleep no more than 90 minutes at a stretch for four nights straight. He was miserable, and I was doing everything I could to help him, staying with him each night either on an air mattress in my bedroom, or just holding him against my shoulder/chest in my bed while he desperately tried to sleep and breathe at the same time. I felt awful for him, and mused for a moment about parents whose children have respiratory disorders like CF who live their lives this way.... good health is such a blessing that we all take for granted.

As much as I hated every minute of Vev’s suffering, there was something a bit nostalgic in holding him sleeping in my arms for several consecutive nights. Wasn’t there a time in the not-so-distant past where this was the ONLY way he’d sleep?! I bitch and moan all the time about how clingy, dependent, and non-self reliant my kids are — but it has been years since Vev needed me at night this way. My Vevvy has grown up a lot.

And to his credit, despite all this sicky misery, he was really a trooper while ill. Against his traditional character, when sick or not, he really didn’t complain much - just went quiet and kept to himself for days, forming a little nest on the sofa each day with a warm blankie, big box of Kleenex, and his iPad, not really asking for much at all except quiet and rest. He never really complained when I had to give him medication, and he did his best to heed my urges to drink clear fluids even when I could tell he really didn’t want to. And - forgive the TMI here - but you know your kid is really growing up when they begin to have some way of forewarning you and/or running to the bathroom on their own steam and hitting the preferred target of the toilet when they’ve gotta vomit. Fortunately, Vev only puked twice this week, and I suspect that too was only bc he gagged on his own copious snot — but both times, he announced “throwwww uuuup!” to me before sprinting to the loo and handling affairs with no mess and accurate aim. HALLELUJAH! This should be considered a major developmental milestone!!! (And yes - poor, poor kid! I really am glad it was only the twice, because that must have sucked a lot for him!)

Yeah, so.  He’s growing up.  Way to go, buddy!!!... and, sniff.

(supposedly this says “Mommy I love you ”...  but he always starts writing at the bottom of a page and works his way up.  He may also be of the mind that “Mommy” is spelled “mom-E.”  Yes, we’re gonna work on it)

It was only yesterday, Thursday, that we got an official pediatrician diagnosis of his illness: the flu, as in the legit flu virus, or Influenza A. The word came too late for antiviral medications to be of any great use to him, unfortunately, but I was grateful anyway that we got a halfway-decent pediatrician BRILLIANT nurse practitioner who needed my assertive request demand for a prophylactic prescription or Tamiflu for Dey. We’ve had shitty luck in South Florida with pediatricians who appear to be reactionary and unnecessarily nonsensical in their responses to my requests for help - but this time, our pedi NP was A+. She treated our family like competent, educated people and did things that made sense as far as ensuring this highly-contagious virus wouldn’t spread to another healthy child living in the same household. I wish she could be our regular PCP (but of course, I bet she can’t be, bc she’s not a doctor. Grr, fucking managed care. Oops, hold it - I’m supposed to be channeling gratitude here, not my customary bitchiness. My bad.)

Anyway, speaking of Dey, I’ve got to brag about him a bit here too. At 3.5 years old, Dey’s baseline is definitely chill, go-with-the-flow, glass-half-full, and a pleasant, happy and easygoing “whatever you want, dude!”-ness that Vev NEVER was at that age. It’s been really awesome to see. But this week, his general outlook on life, combined with impressive moments of being a team player, cooperating, helping out, and exhibiting formidable empathy really made me sooo proud.

It’s certainly understandable that he’d be potentially jealous that his older brother got to skip an entire week of school while he still had to go. It would be even more understandable since they are actual CLASSMATES at school this year (yes, our Montessori school groups ages 4-6/preschool, pre-K and kindergarten in one classroom, so they’ve been together at school and at home since the start of the academic year). So I was very impressed when Dey accepted his brother’s illness and his need to stay home from school, while he was forced to go. Without one word of complaint, he’d get up each morning, eat his breakfast, get washed up and dressed out in uniform, gather his things, then visit Vev quickly and dispense a goodbye hug and a “hope you feel better, Vev!” before loading up in the car for school drop-off. What a trooper. At afternoon pick-up, when I’d ask about his day at school, he’d say with a little frown, “oh, school was okay...but Vev wasn’t on the playground.” It was kinda weird feeling my heart simultaneously break a little, but also burst with pride at how much he loves his brother. Sweet kiddo. 

At home, each afternoon he’d run excitedly to Vev to see how he was doing, his face full of hopeful anticipation that perhaps today, Vev was feeling better and could play with him... but when he’d find Vev too miserable and tired to play, his face would momentarily fall in disappointment, but then he would muster some compassion and understanding, silently shuffle away, and find a quiet game to do in the vicinity, just so he could be nearby without disturbing Vev. Or, cuter still, he’d snuggle down on the opposite side of the couch as Vev, and tune his iPad into the same YouTube video Vev would be watching, so they could give each other silly smiles and glances during the funny parts. The boy would periodically race off in the house to find his toy doctor kit, and would affix his little plastic stethoscope to his ears so he could “give Vev a checkup” and “make him feel better.” 

(Dr. Cutie Pie is in)

It was adorable, man. His whole world spins because of his brother. It’s so touching. I don’t know how it is that I managed to have two kids who love each other so much, because karmically I’ve done NOTHING to earn this. My sister and I were rotten to each other as kids, and only really turned a corner on it in our... what, our late 30′s?!  Haha :)  But I’m so grateful for these two dudes. These two little people are the best of friends, and they can’t live without each other. The feels.

One more funny brag about Dey. Dr. Spouse and I often jokingly refer to him as Dory, i.e. the lovable blue fish, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres from the Disney movie “Finding Nemo.” Dory’s schtick is that she’s easily distracted and has short-term memory. 

Fittingly, Dory is one of Dey’s favorite cartoon characters, and he’s not shy to let the world know....

Anyway. Remember that whole prophylactic script for Tamiflu? Mind you, I was so grateful to get it. But. Ummmm, pediatric Tamiflu tastes FOUL. It is seriously the most bitter, disgusting, viscous goo I’ve ever gingerly licked to mentally prepare myself for my kid’s reaction to. I began fearing Dey’s reaction, and the ensuing tantrums to come over the five-day course of the drug. But I spoke matter-of-fairly to Dey about how this was a medicine he’d need to take to keep himself healthy, and that it would be a little bit yucky, but that I’d give him a HUGE spoonful of sugar right after to make it taste better (and THANK YOU, blessed Mary Poppins, for your genius). 

 Luckily, little Dory just took my words at face value without any further thought, opened his mouth, and downed the nasty shot of devil’s semen Tamiflu that I dispensed into his mouth. Immediately his face went every shade of red, purple, and white, with a coordinating expression like “what the hell is this shit?!” — but I swooped in there prepared, like a crack-smoking Mother of Batman, giving him a swig of water then heaping a MASSIVE spoon of white sugar directly onto his tongue. The result was nothing short of magical - the kid instantaneously closed his eyes in pleasure, turned up his cute little round cheeks to the ceiling with a huge smile on his face, and loudly cooed “Mmmm!” as if it was the best damn thing he’d ever eaten in his life. Moments later, the sugar fully dissolved, Dey matter-of-fairly reminisced with a RainMan-esque tone, “hey mommy, that medicine was kind of yucky for me. Kind of salty. Kind of spicy. But the SUGAR WAS YUUUUUUMMMMMY!” I worried that at the next dosing (and man, the kid’s gotta take it morning and night, poor little dude) he’d run screaming from the salty spicy medicine, and wouldn’t fall for the sugar trick — but amazingly, when I announced “medicine and sugar time,” the child came RUNNING to me with a huge grin on his face like he’d just won the lottery. He gulped down the medicine like a champ, swigged the water himself, then began changing “Su-gar! Su-gar! Su-gar!” till I ladled a bit into his mouth.  Naturally, my mind spun forward a bit, concerned that his ease of overcoming the Yucky Taste Barrier and downing this stuff for a cheap reward might translate into some unsavory teenage and young adult behaviors (err, tequila shot champion in the making?!  Please god, help us).  But, for now - eternally grateful for my little Dory’s easy distractability and forgiving memory!!! Vev, at that age and even now, would have NEVER gone along with this!

(is it just me, or do they even kinda sorta look alike, Dory and Dey?  No one else sees it?!  No one?!!!  Hmm...)

Anyway. In conclusion, it’s not normal for me to have something kind of bad happen, like the flu hitting one of my kids, but finding some good in the mess. But here I am, in spite of myself, awash in all the warm fuzzies.

1. I’ve got two healthy, happy kids, when many people have children with serious health issues and have to live their lives watching their kids sick and miserable all the time

2. my kids are growing up, becoming wonderfully independent, self-reliant, empathetic and helpful. But they still sometimes need me, and that’s nice too.

3. They both have such fun, distinct personalities.

4. I admit that it’s pretty awesome that my second kid is so chill. Love them both to bits, but if kid #2 has been more ornery and neurotic, I think that would have sucked. Having a chill kid #2 is a godsend.

5.  They frigging LOVE EACH OTHER.  It’s a goddamn brotherly love fest up in here.  

6.  Last but not least - the flu sucks, but it isn’t forever, and life will go on.  Soon, in fact.  And we’ll be onto the next adventure together.  Look forward to seeing what it’ll be!